Psychology and Mind Mastery: The Secret to Mastering Others
Chapter 2 Breaking Through Others' Psychological Defenses
Chapter 2 Breaking Through Others' Psychological Defenses
◆Why do you say that the Air Florida crash could have been avoided?
◆Why did a few audience members take the lead in applauding non-stop and use warm applause to attract real applause?
◆Why do teachers always take extra care of those mischievous students?
◆Why does the boss always like to reprimand and scold those who are honest, gentle and submissive, and work hard without showing mercy?
◆Why sometimes, the more manpower, the lower the efficiency?
Authority Effect:
Trust and following authority are universal commonalities among people
In 1982, an Air Florida plane crashed.After the plane crashed, relevant departments investigated the crash and finally concluded that the main cause of the crash was the ice on the wings of the plane.
But just before the plane took off, there was such a scene: the co-pilot had already discovered this problem and suggested to the captain that he should check it.However, since the captain is a person with many years of aviation experience, coupled with his serious and responsible attitude to work for many years, he has already established considerable authority in this field. , and never mentioned it again.Just like that, the plane crashed while flying into the Potomac River.
In this incident, it is not difficult for us to find that the co-pilot has actually discovered the hidden danger, but why does he still follow the captain's suggestion and think that there is no problem when he knows there is a hidden danger?The reason lies in the general psychology of people: trust and following authority.It was the authority of the captain's position and the influence of experienced authoritative signals that made the co-pilot not stick to his original correct opinion, which eventually led to the tragedy.
Psychology calls the phenomenon caused by this kind of psychology the authority effect.The so-called authority effect simply means that if a person has a high status, prestige, and respect, then what he says and does will easily attract the attention of others, and it will easily convince the people around him that what he said is correct. That is to say, "people speak lightly, but people value their words seriously", which can also be called the authoritative suggestion effect.And once the other party lists you as a representative of authority, then you have a powerful tool to control others.It is often found that when those intelligent people dominate others, they must skillfully use the authority effect to serve themselves.
After Columbus's successful voyage, many people entered and left the palace under the guise of sailing, so it became extremely difficult to get the king's sponsorship to go to sea.In order to win the king's support, Magellan invited Louis Pareilo, a well-known geographer at the time, to go with him to meet the king.In the end, it was Luis Pareilo's plausible account of placing the globe before the king, as well as his introduction to the necessity of Magellan's voyage, that convinced the Spanish king.
The reason why Magellan successfully obtained the support of the king and realized the will of sailing was the influence of the authority effect.He used the authoritative appeal of Louis Pareilo, a geographer, to conquer the king and win patronage.
In addition, in life, we often see some people using the authority effect to serve themselves.For example, in order to gain customers, merchants will always invite some well-known and authoritative figures to speak for a product; in debates, those debaters will always cite various authorities in order to prove a certain point of view. Characters' words as arguments...
So why are people so susceptible to the authority effect, the tendency to defer to the opinions of others?This is because the reason why an authority becomes an authority is because he has already been recognized in a certain respect.You must know that under normal circumstances, obeying the words of these people can often bring people success and increase the "insurance factor" that they will not make mistakes.Therefore, the words and opinions of people with authority signals often make people habitually obey.Therefore, we say that trust and following authority are universal commonalities among people.
Since trusting and following authority is a common feature of people, for smart people, when controlling and controlling others to serve themselves, they can effectively use this strategy to serve themselves by enhancing their own authority.So, how do you increase your authority?The specific methods are summarized as follows:
Use principles to enhance your sense of authority
Psychology believes that when a person wears these things that can enhance personal prestige, he can release a signal of authority, and principles are undoubtedly a useful tool to enhance this signal of authority. The principles here include many factors.For example, one's own sense of responsibility, consistent honesty and trustworthiness, gentleman's demeanor, extraordinary tolerance and heart...
When you are branded this way by those around you, then you subconsciously build up your own sense of authority.In this way, when you control others, the other party will be subdued by your sense of authority unconsciously.
Vivid expression is also an important element to enhance authority
Sometimes we will find such a phenomenon: when someone is speaking, he always whispers or dare not look up at the people around him, we will doubt what he said, and people often describe him as having no confidence in his speech.And when someone always speaks loudly and vividly, and the tone, speed, expression, and demeanor all express a kind of passionate determination, even if we can't immediately support him, we will feel a little awe.People often use his eloquence to describe such a scene.
In fact, it is precisely because of the difference in the enhanced authority of the expression that it produces a completely different feeling.Therefore, when controlling others, smart people will be particularly vivid even in expression, because they know that this can enhance their own authority, and trust and following authority are common features of people.
·The law of mind control·
The reason why an authority becomes an authority is because he has already obtained people's approval in a certain aspect, and under normal circumstances, obeying the words of these people can bring people success and increase the "insurance factor" that will not go wrong.Therefore, the words and opinions of people with authority signals often make people habitually obey.
Herd mentality:
people like to keep pace with the crowd
Neil and Shangjia are loyal audiences of the opera, but also shrewd businessmen, they go to the opera every week.Once, at the climax of the opera, an audience couldn't hold back their excitement, and couldn't help clapping and yelling: "Good!" They found that under this yell, other audiences watching the opera also yelled. stand up.
From the applause and shouts, Neil and Shangjia saw business opportunities.Soon, they established a "comedy success insurance company", and the main insurance project operated by the company is the audience's applause. They serve opera singers and theater managers who hope to be recognized and appreciated by the audience. Their purpose It is to use their "false" applause to stimulate real applause from real audiences.The specific operation process is: an audience member in the audience yells "one more", and the accomplices behind will also take the lead in applauding non-stop and with warm applause... It is often this time that can attract real applause.
Neil and Shangjia are worthy of being shrewd businessmen. They are shrewd not only because they can see business opportunities in a single applause, but also because they know how to use people's herd mentality to create certain commercial value for themselves.
The so-called herd mentality simply means that people have the mentality of "following the crowd" and "joining in the fun".Specifically, it means that individuals are affected by the behavior of outside groups, and their own perception, judgment, and understanding show behaviors that conform to public opinion or the majority. This is a common social psychological phenomenon.It mainly stems from the invisible pressure of a group on oneself, and later psychologists called the phenomenon produced by this kind of psychology the herd effect.In order to better confirm the influence of this psychology on others, the psychologist Ashi has also done the most classic "Ashi experiment".
Before the experiment started, Axi invited some college students and told them that the purpose of the experiment was to measure the length of the lines.Before the college students walked into the laboratory, they arranged 5 people in advance to pretend to be people waiting for the experiment.At this time, college students who came to participate in the experiment walked into the laboratory.He found that there were already 5 people sitting there first, so he sat in the sixth position.
At this time, Axi took out a card with a vertical line drawn on it, and then asked everyone to compare this line with which of the three lines on the other card is the same length.In fact, the difference in length of these lines is so obvious that it is easy for people to judge correctly under normal circumstances.However, in the experiment, after the first five people deliberately gave a wrong answer, the sixth person also said a wrong answer.The judgment experiment was carried out 3 times in total, and the final result was that 5% of the people were influenced by the herd, 18% were influenced by the herd at least once, and only 33% were not influenced by the herd. With normal thinking, people are less than 76% likely to be wrong.
This is the power of herd mentality, and the reason why herd mentality can influence others is that in most cases, herd can bring people a lot of convenience.In a group, when an individual's behavior, attitude, and opinion are consistent with others, there will be a sense of security that "there is nothing wrong" and at the same time win the approval of others.Therefore, most people will be more willing to lean towards herd behavior.
In addition, when an individual is always unconventional, out of the ordinary and does not conform to the crowd, or disagrees with the majority of the group, it is easy to cause dissatisfaction from the people around him, which in turn brings a lot of pressure on himself, that is to say, he has to bear the burden of not conforming to the crowd. a lot of pressure.Therefore, this also strengthens people's herd phenomenon to a certain extent.
Since herd mentality is a universal commonality of people, when a smart person controls and controls others, he can effectively create a herd environment for himself, follow the momentum of the crowd, and use the power of others to serve himself.Specifically:
The verbal "follow the crowd" environment also needs to create
As the saying goes: "All talk makes money, accumulation destroys bones." When manipulating others, this trick can actually be effectively used by smart people.In other words, you can verbally create an environment to follow the crowd, which can actually create momentum for yourself.
This may sound difficult, but it is not difficult to understand.For example, we often see such a situation in life: when marketing a product to customers, the salesman will habitually say: "Your colleagues or neighbors have bought this product, you might as well try it. They all respond well." Yes, you'd better give it a try, so as not to miss the opportunity." Then, you will find that customers start to hesitate at this time.If you create an environment of following the crowd, then in most cases, he may be controlled by you, and then he will purchase the product.
In fact, what marketers do is to verbally create an environment of following the herd, and people often compromise on following the herd.Therefore, we say that when a smart person controls others, he will first create an environment for himself to follow the crowd.
Your confidants, friends, and colleagues with good relations are often your hard-core allies
The trees are beautiful in the forest, but the wind will destroy them.There is a lot of pressure to not conform, and people fear that pressure.Therefore, when a smart person controls others, he can use the power of everyone to serve himself better.The main force to be relied on is your confidant, friend or colleague with a good relationship, because these hardcore allies are often a powerful factor in the herd environment.
For example, when you are going to announce a plan in the company, you'd better get the approval of those colleagues who have a good relationship with you in advance.In this way, when you are announcing, once they are full of praise or unanimously support it, then even if others disagree, they may not say anything because most people support it, and then agree. your plan.And the situation at this time can be effectively controlled by you and controlled by you.
Mind Control Law
When an individual is always unconventional, does not conform to the crowd, or has differences with the majority of people in the group, it is easy to cause dissatisfaction from the people around him, which in turn brings a lot of pressure to himself, that is to say, he has to bear a lot of pressure if he does not conform to the crowd pressure.Therefore, this also strengthens people's herd mentality to a certain extent.
The principle of bullying the good and fearing the evil:
We must know that it is human nature to bully the good and fear the evil
Xiao Liu is a loyal and honest person without too much opinion. He has worked diligently and conscientiously in the workplace for more than ten years, and has always been called a "good old man" by the people in the company.He is just such a good old man who does good deeds, arrives early every day to fetch water and do sanitation, and helps everyone as soon as he asks for help. After ten years, his position is still stagnant, and his salary is just the same as everyone else’s. .But those latecomers who are more irritable, arrogant, and younger than him should all be promoted, and those who should get a raise should get a raise.
For promotion and salary increase, in fact, Xiao Liu yearns for it more than anyone else, and tries to perform well every time, but the reality is: the better you perform and the more you do, the more promotion you can get .Once, due to the resignation of his boss, Xiao Liu seemed to see a chance to be promoted, but the final announcement was still not him.Angrily, he found the leader. The leader told him that this position requires a person who is courageous and able to calm down the people around him, and your personality is not suitable for this position, and you should be promoted when you have the opportunity.The fact is that the leader doesn't want to provoke a tough person, so as not to make trouble for himself every day.
In fact, not only Xiao Liu’s experience is like this, we also often find this phenomenon in life: In the same class, the teacher always takes special care of those mischievous students.Once these students and other students compete for an item at the same time, they will always distribute this item to the tough student.Similarly, if there is a small accident in the company, the boss may reprimand, scold, and even withhold wages and bonuses for those honest, gentle and submissive people who work hard.But for those masters who are irritable and confronted face to face, most of them will be kind and polite, tell them politely and it's over.
Xiao Liu's leaders, teachers, and bosses, why did they do this?This is because the leaders and teachers have made good use of the psychology of "bullying the good and fearing the evil" to serve themselves: First of all, tough students and individuals are not easy to appease, so try not to disobey them, just say what you can, If you can follow it, you will follow it; and a gentle, easy-going, good-tempered old man is easier to be persuaded and persuaded.
In addition, leaders and teachers also have such a self-preservation mentality, provoking those tough people, making enemies with them, and constant conflicts will make their lives unstoppable.Just imagine, if they quarrel every day and every day, and they quarrel again and again, no one will have a good life.And for those who are too kind and weak, even if they disobey them and violate their interests, they may not pose any great threat to themselves.
Therefore, in most cases, out of self-preservation, people are more willing to sacrifice those kind and weak people as their own stepping stones.In fact, this is everyone's self-preservation psychology. "Bullying the good and fearing the evil" is human nature, and it is a common psychology.But the "evil" mentioned here is not to bully others, but to show one's strength to the maximum extent, it is a way of survival to protect oneself, it allows you to reduce or suspend the harm, and allows you to have more Great living space.
Since "bullying the good and fearing the evil" is human nature and a common psychological phenomenon of ordinary people, then smart people can effectively use this psychological strategy to arm themselves and make themselves a tough "evil" person, so that Then you can better control others and conquer others.The specific methods and precautions are as follows:
Acting "evil" requires good timing
For those smart people, to be "evil" is not to blindly bully good people, nor to blindly be vicious, but at certain times, you have to show a standpoint, courage, assertion, and principle , has its own psychological bottom line.Let others realize that you are not a bully, a person who accepts harm honestly, or even a powerful "anti-injury" person.In this way, the other party will often be more obedient to you, and it will also help you control and control others.
For example, when getting along with colleagues, if some colleagues always belittle you indirectly through words, you can also speak back unceremoniously; It is trying to take advantage of you, so you can't just accept it blindly, but you can choose the right time to remind the other party, tell the other party that you are not a "short-hearted" master, and you can also reduce the relationship with this kind of abuse in your future life. The frequency of contact with people, so that the other party will naturally perceive your "powerful", and then have a little fear of you, and be easy to be controlled by you.
When you are "bad" by others, you must not appear weak
Everyone may encounter other people's "evil" in life. You must know that this is a universality of human beings.Since it is universal, it will inevitably surround people all the time.But when encountering "evil", you must not show your weakness and powerlessness in front of others.
This is because it is easy to trigger other people's mentality of "bullying" next time. After a long time, they will think that you are a weak person who is easy to bully, and then give the initiative to the other party.Once you have given your initiative to the other party, how can you control and control others?For example, when we are treated unfairly, you don’t need to be furious immediately, and you don’t need to retort immediately, but you can talk to the other party and discuss with the other party in the future... In this way, in the other party’s heart, you will also feel that you are not a willing person. Lord of the bullied.
·The law of mind control·
Since "bullying the good and fearing the evil" is human nature, a kind of inferiority, and a common psychological phenomenon, then a smart person can effectively use this psychological strategy to arm himself and make himself a tough "evil" In this way, we can better control and conquer others.
The Zeigoni Effect:
Stimulate people's "desire to complete"
Wang Min has recently fallen in love with cross-stitch. After returning home from get off work every day, she doesn't even want to cook. The first thing she does is pick up cross-stitch and embroider non-stop.Although it wasn't a big deal, it made me forget about food and drink.One weekend night, she embroidered vigorously for a day and a night, and did not rest until she finished all the cross-stitching.In fact, Wang Min finished the cross-stitch in such a hurry, not because she was in a hurry, nor was someone forcing her to hand in the work, but because she was so devoted that she didn't want to sleep or even eat.She said to her friend: "Through doing cross-stitch work, I finally understand what it means to forget food and sleep."
Why did Wang Min forget to eat and sleep until he finished cross-stitch embroidery before taking a rest?In fact, this is the result of the "Zaigoni effect" in psychology.The so-called "Zaigoni effect" mainly talks about: People are born with a driving force to do things from beginning to end. If the task they want to complete is not completed, they will have a strong sense of discomfort in their hearts, driving them to ignore other things and continue the task. Work until the motivation to complete is satisfied.
The "Zaigoni Effect" tells us that a strong desire to complete is a common psychology of people, and everyone who is too involved in doing one thing will have this kind of psychology to a greater or lesser extent.And the cleverness of those smart people is undoubtedly that they can make good use of this psychology, find ways to motivate people to realize their "desire for completion", and then control each other and develop in the direction they want.
Yang Yang is a college student who just graduated from a normal school and works as a history teacher in an elementary school.For elementary school students, history is undoubtedly boring.Therefore, when students are in history class, they will always do various tricks or climb the table.In order to improve the students' listening status, she adopted such a strategy: before class, let the students watch a short relevant historical film, but always stop playing at the climax, which inspired the students to continue to explore Interest in historical films.As for Yang Yang, it was at this time that a history lesson officially started.Since then, the phenomenon of students doing small movements or lying on the table in class has really been effectively improved.In fact, Yang Yang was able to successfully control and guide students to listen carefully to the history class by using the "Zaigoni effect".
Therefore, since people are born with a driving force to do things from beginning to end, accompanied by a strong desire to complete, then smart people can use various methods like Yang Yang to stimulate the "desire to complete" deep in others' hearts.At this point, even if you don't ask the other party to do what you want, he will take the initiative to do it himself.To stimulate the other party's "desire to complete", try the following methods:
Interest is the most likely to stimulate the "desire to complete"
In life, we all have this feeling. When we have a strong interest in something or something, we tend to be more active, and once we start the thing we are interested in, we will be more active. The mentality of being out of control and full of energy, and even a desire to complete if you don't do well and don't get it.
Therefore, if you want to control others, you must understand the interests of the other person, because only when you know what the other person likes and hobbies, when you control and control the other person, can you effectively match what they like.And when the other party can't help but move closer to the points of interest you designed for him, and try to get things done in one go, this is not far from your goal and goal.For example, when the mother persuades the child to study hard, if he directly says that you should study hard, the child may continue to play, but if the mother indirectly stimulates the child's desire to learn according to the child's interests, then even if the mother does nothing after that Not to mention, most children will learn consciously.
"Desire to complete" requires the cultivation of a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere
Although fulfillment desire is an internal driving force in the process of doing things, it is one's own psychological behavior, but it also requires the cultivation of the external environment.For example, we may all have had this experience in life. When they are in a warm, relaxed and pleasant atmosphere, their interest in doing things will be particularly high, and the more they do it, the more they want to do it.But when they do things in a depressive and disharmonious atmosphere, most of them will feel upset, restless, and even have the mentality that the more they do it, the less they want to do it.
Therefore, if you want to motivate others to keep going, you must learn to create a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere for the other party, so that the other party will have a strong internal driving force in a harmonious and harmonious atmosphere, driving yourself to keep going. to do things.For example, in order to encourage everyone to work actively, managers sometimes try to make the working atmosphere very relaxed and pleasant, which will undoubtedly make the staff experience more fun and be more willing to work hard.
·The law of mind control·
A strong desire to complete is a common psychology among people.Everyone who is too involved in doing one thing will have this kind of psychology more or less.Therefore, if you want to control others, you must stimulate their "desire to complete".In this way, the other party will be under your control unconsciously and develop in the direction you want.
Mentality of enslavement:
Taking advantage of the inferiority of good people - slavery
Xia Xia and her boyfriend are college classmates, and they are even half fellows. They have been in love for four years in college, and their relationship has always been very good.But when graduation was approaching, the two quietly broke up.When her friend asked her why, Xia Xia said helplessly: "Although there is no one who can tell her now, my family is very superior, but his family is too bad. The contrast is too great. My parents can't accept me looking for someone like this." People from a family background." "Then you haven't communicated with your parents?" My friend asked suspiciously. "Communication, I even used the method of crying, making trouble, and hanging myself. But my mother said, if I were with him, everything I have now, the house and car they bought... All will be taken back. I can't imagine how I will live without these, so in the end I can only choose to break up." Xia Xia shook her head and said.
From the reasons why Xia Xia broke up with her boyfriend, it is not difficult to find that what Xia Xia can't bear the most is not the opposition of her parents, but that her parents will take back all the superior life and benefits they have bestowed on her.So, she wavered, and finally made a helpless choice.Some friends said that Xia Xia's love was not sincere enough and too selfish; How selfish I am is due to the inferiority of human beings - slavery.
The so-called enslavement simply means: a kind of awareness and behavior that is internalized into its own initiative and self-consciousness. , unconditionally accepted.Internalization into one's own initiative and self-consciousness mainly talks about: this is not one's own initial thought, but a psychology that is gradually internalized into one's own self-consciousness under the imposition of the external environment.
In fact, not only Xia Xia, but everyone in life has this kind of mentality.Therefore, the inferiority of human beings—servility is a universal psychology.The simplest proof of its ubiquity is: in countries with sound laws and thorough enforcement, the people will complain about the lack of freedom, but most of the social order is good, and people will not easily violate it.On the contrary, in those countries with lax laws and lax enforcement, although people enjoy a high degree of freedom, the social order is in a mess, and things like terrorist attacks happen frequently.
From this, it is not difficult to find that slavery has universal existence, and it is also a kind of inferiority of human beings.For smart people, this undoubtedly leaves them with the opportunity to influence others, control others, and control others.
Lao Zhang is the director of a company, in charge of more than 20 people.Once, during the weekend break, the company had urgent matters and asked everyone to work overtime on weekends, and told everyone who worked overtime, in addition to the original allowance for this month, they would also distribute half of it.As a result, as soon as his words came out, some people below raised their hands and said: "Can I not have the allowance and not come to work overtime?" Someone else said: "I won't come, just don't need the allowance!" Lao Zhang was very unhappy when he heard this. , angrily did not give affirmation or negation, turned and returned to the office.When get off work was about to end, colleagues saw a notice on the bulletin board: Overtime allowances are still paid, but those who do not work overtime for one day will have all allowances deducted for this month; those who do not work overtime for two days will deduct all allowances and part of their salary. "As a result, all the people obediently came to work overtime the next day.
The cleverness of Lao Zhang is that he knows how to use people's inferiority - servility, to serve himself.At the same time, we should also pay attention to that although the use of slavery in psychology can effectively control and control others, we must also pay attention to the method when using it, so that we can get twice the result with half the effort.
"Punishment" is easy to activate the slavery of others
Although rewards can induce the positive side of human nature, but when people don't care about this "reward", then it will undoubtedly lose its original effectiveness.The reason why "punishment" can easily lead to the servility of others is that most of the time people tend to have this mentality: they may not pay enough attention to the dispensable things that are added to themselves, but for those things that they themselves Things that were originally there, which are suddenly about to be taken away through punishment, will appear more tense.Therefore, in order to control and control others, one must know how to activate the servility of the other party through appropriate punishment.
"Whip" can also bring about effective slavery
As the saying goes: "Only when the whip is waiting on you will you be obedient." Although this is just a common saying, it also explains a certain truth, that is, when necessary, you need to give the other party a whip, but here it refers to the meaning of whip .The enslavement of people's hearts determines that they must give spurs and incentives from time to time in order to make changes.In other words, it must be under the pressure of external forces to enter an orderly state.For example, parents may have this experience. When educating a child, if you always motivate him and keep urging him to make progress, the child's grades and other aspects may be greatly improved.But if you let it go, you may become an out-and-out bad boy in the end.
·The law of mind control·
Slavery is a kind of inferiority of human beings, and it is also a kind of universality.The reason why I say this is because people often have such a mentality: when people around you compulsively demand you, you just don’t want to, and because you are afraid of not acting according to the other party’s ideas, you will bring yourself a loss of interests, and you have to do it. Disobedience to the wishes of the other party.
Commitment Consistency Principle:
Enabling and exploiting people's "commitment alignment" mentality
Gu Ming is the manager of the marketing department. There is such a salesman in their department. During the marketing process, he is always careless and makes various low-level mistakes.When he introduced the company's products to customers, he would forget to bring the company's samples, thus losing a good source of customers.As a result, his marketing performance has always been the last two in the same department.In order to help the salesman get rid of his carelessness, Gu Ming tried his best, but every time it was good at the beginning, but it remained the same after a long time.
Once, Gu Ming discovered that the salesman had made some mistakes in the monthly report that he was given.In fact, the matter was not that serious, but in order to let the salesman really have a long memory and learn from this lesson, Gu Ming severely criticized him, and told him that if he made such a low-level mistake next time, he would be immediately banned. fired.The salesman immediately agreed and promised to never make similar mistakes in the company.
As a result, it was this promise that allowed the salesman to get rid of his bad habits of carelessness.Later, at an exchange meeting, the salesman said: "It was Gu Ming who forced me to make a promise to resign if I made a mistake again, so that I can always remind myself in future work, and then get rid of the shortcomings of carelessness. .”
From this incident, it is not difficult to see that Gu Ming is worthy of being a smart person in controlling salesmen and others, and his cleverness is due to the clever use of people's general psychology: the psychology of commitment and consistency, that is, After people make a promise to the other party, they often act out of consistency in morality, belief, integrity, speech, and behavior, and then act to keep the promise.
So why are people more motivated to do something once they've made a commitment?This is because, after making a promise to others, if you fail to fulfill the promise, you may be called immoral and not honest by the people around you.In fact, no one wants to carry such a reputation.In many cases, people are more willing to fulfill their commitments.In other words, people live in society, and their words and deeds are often influenced by the opinions of others.In order to ensure a good image in the minds of others, they often habitually pursue the behavior of "consistent with their words and deeds", and then implement it without hesitation after making a promise.
In order to further verify the universality of the principle of consistent commitment and its influence on controlling and controlling others, the famous psychologist Thomas Moriarty once conducted an experiment on preventing theft:
He left his towel and his portable radio on the beaches with the most traffic.After a few minutes, he left the towel and the radio behind and walked to the beach.The relevant person pretended to be a thief, walked over quietly, picked up the cassette player and left quickly.I did it 20 times repeatedly, but in the end only 4 people did it bravely.
Later, he changed this procedure a bit. When he left, he would simply say to the people around him and ask them to take care of him, even if the other party just promised to "nod".When the relevant personnel go to get things again, the other party will also come forward.Of the 20 experiments conducted, 19 were brave.This experiment further confirms the influence of commitment consistency principle on people's behavior.
Although people are susceptible to the principle of consistent commitment, how can we make the other party make a promise that is beneficial to us and make it more active to fulfill the promise?This is not an easy task, and it requires people to master relevant methods and use them flexibly.
Find ways to get others to make a "final commitment"
The reason why the last promise is important is that there is a kind of helplessness in the last promise, and when people realize that they have no choice, this can only be their last choice. Or at the last chance, they will often show more intentions, and then earnestly fulfill their original promise to you.
Therefore, when controlling and controlling others, you might as well first try to get the other party to make a final commitment to you, and then let him slowly change his mentality.In this way, he will be like an invisible compass, moving in the direction originally promised.Even if you point in the opposite direction from the direction he originally wanted to go, he will continue to go because of it.For example, you can guide the person you want to control and say to him: "This is your last chance, let me tell you for the last time, and I will tell you for the last time..." Once the other party agrees to you and abides by your promise, he will most likely more actively put into practice.
Use the public eye to force the other party to do what they say
In the Olympic Games, we often find such a phenomenon that the host congress sends a representative referee and an athlete to make short oaths to people all over the world before the opening ceremony.Why take an oath?This is because it is a commitment made in the public eye, which is more conducive to the consistent behavior of fulfilling the commitment in the future.
And controlling people also requires such a strategy, that is to say, when you try to get a person to make a promise, it is best to find a third party or other people, and let them make promises to you in front of these people. Commitment, this is more conducive to the other party's future work and life to fulfill their promises.Because his promises will be supervised by the people around him, when he breaks his promises, he will be under a certain amount of pressure, and this can prevent him from going back on his word to a certain extent.
·The law of mind control·
Once you have made a promise to others, if you fail to fulfill this promise, you may be called immoral and not honest by the people around you. No one wants to bear such a reputation.In other words, people live in society, and their words and deeds are often influenced by the opinions of others.In order to ensure a good image in the hearts of others, they often habitually pursue the behavior of "consistent with their words and deeds", and then implement it without hesitation after making a promise.
Social inertia:
To control others is to prevent the inertia of others
Mr. Wang wanted to build a garden in his yard, so he hired a few workers from a friend's factory to help carry the bricks.On the first day, a friend sent two people over.Mr. Wang felt that the ability of two people was too limited, and the moving speed was a bit slow, so he called his friend and said that he wanted to move the bricks quickly, hoping that he could send two more workers.The next day, the friend really sent him two more people, and the four workers began to move the bricks.But after the end of the second day, he found that although there were four people, the efficiency of moving bricks was not as high as he thought.He felt that it was still caused by insufficient manpower. According to the moving speed of four people on this day, he made a plan and felt that he only needed to find two more people to carry it on the third day.So he called his friend and called two more people.Mr. Wang thought that there are enough people now, and the bricks should be moved in a day.But on the third day, the bricks were still not moved as planned.
According to normal logical thinking, the more manpower, the greater the achievement. Why didn't Mr. Wang's bricks be transported on the third day as he expected?In fact, this is caused by the social inertia in psychology.The so-called social inertia, also known as social inertia, this concept originated from the German psychologist Ringelmann, mainly talking about: nature is an inert substance, and human beings also have an inert psychology, which is mainly manifested in the negative backwardness and stagnation of social members Don't wait.
And when there are more people, it is less easy for everyone around to see the results of personal efforts when doing things together, and the social inertia of individuals will be more obvious.Mr. Wang failed to control the people who carried the bricks for him, in fact, it was precisely because he failed to overcome the emotional psychology of these people.
Why is people's social inertia so great?This is because, when people do things, most of the time they participate in groups.When everyone participates in one thing, it is impossible to tell who does more and who does less, so we simply reduce our efforts and take a break from the busy schedule.That is to say, when the relationship between individual input and group output is unclear, there may be "free riders" and "fillers" who are attached to the group among individuals.For example, in the tug-of-war competitions we often see, sometimes you will find that the more people you have, the more powerful you are, but the more united you are, the more powerful you will be.The human heart here is actually talking about the dedication of personal strength.
In addition, when everyone is working together, individuals lack the necessary motivation. They will feel that even if they pay a lot, perform well, and achieve success, they will not get the sense of accomplishment they deserve. The results belong to everyone. So it is no longer as active as when I was doing it alone.In other words, if people realize that their contributions cannot be measured, they will be less effective.
Since the laziness will be affected by the number of people and the sense of personal accomplishment, when controlling and controlling others, you can use these two aspects to prevent the laziness of others and serve yourself better.
"Pressure" can prevent inertia
People's inertia is often directly related to the number of people.That is to say, when you control more people, this kind of inertia may become more obvious, because when you try to control more people, compared with the other person, the pressure will inevitably decrease. The energy is also less.For example, we often see that when a manager tries to dictate to group members, the more group members he commands, the less likely he is to command.
Therefore, this requires us to learn to put pressure on each other even when we are controlling many people.Because most of the time, the greater the pressure, the greater the motivation.You have to be good at getting employees into a stressful group, so that you can get more support from the group.For example, the competition among group members, the last elimination system implemented by the company... These pressures can prevent inertia to a certain extent.
"Sense of achievement" is an important factor to prevent inertia
We all have this experience. When we are praised by others for doing something, or after we have worked hard and achieved success, a sense of accomplishment will arise spontaneously, and we are more willing to do this thing.And when people are willing to do something, and even think about doing it to further experience the satisfaction brought by this sense of accomplishment, he doesn't care who asks him to do it.By this time, you have successfully entered the realm of controlling and controlling others.
·The law of mind control·
Since the laziness will be affected by the number of people and the factors of personal accomplishment, when controlling and controlling others, you can use these two aspects to prevent the laziness of others and serve yourself better.
The law of scarcity:
Put a "rare" smoke bomb
Yang Li is a salesperson in an electrical appliance store, and her sales performance in the store is always among the best.Colleagues were curious about this and asked her about her marketing secrets.She smiled and said, "It's very simple. Sometimes customers need you to create the illusion of scarcity before they can finally make up their minds to buy your product."
Let's say last time, a customer was going to buy the 27-inch TV advertised in the newspaper last week.But in the process of coming to buy, he is also considering other styles.He compared various TV sets for about 20 minutes, and finally chose the cheaper one among the 27 inches.After he expressed his wish, Yang Li did not directly get the goods for him, but told him that he would go to the warehouse to see if there was any stock, because this TV set was very popular in the past two days.When she came back, she told him: "You are lucky, there is only the last one left in the warehouse." This made the customer feel lucky, and she got the order immediately.
Yang Li's cleverness lies in her ability to successfully control customers, which has allowed her to achieve impressive results in marketing performance.But from the marketing experience she introduced to her colleagues, it is not difficult to find that the principle she uses is actually the "principle of rare law" in psychology.
The principle of "scarcity" is simply the principle that what most people want can only be supplied in a limited amount (with the exception of free goods).The so-called law of scarcity is: People call the contradiction between their endless desires and limited resources "scarcity".
People are not unfamiliar with rare and regular phenomena. For example, we can always see this phenomenon in life: TV advertisements are always told that the last supply is available, and each person only buys 3 pieces, and they can only buy them on weekends or holidays... In fact , this kind of advertisement implies scarcity to a certain extent.
At this time, it is not difficult for people to understand why Panasonic's large-scale production and large-scale marketing will make it fall into trouble, and continue to lose money, and even slipped to the edge of bankruptcy at one point. This is also the result of violating the law of scarcity, and then Can't control the marketing situation well and control the psychology of customer needs.
Then, why do rare laws have such great magic power in controlling and controlling others?In this regard, psychologists believe that people's fear of losing something is more motivating to them than the idea of wanting to get something of equal value.In addition, when people perceive that they want a limited number of things, they perceive that the desired item is worth more than that of an abundant item.
And those smart business people are often good at taking advantage of this scarcity principle.For example, one of the important reasons why famous Swiss watches are so expensive is that manufacturers of famous Swiss watches strictly limit the production quantity of each watch.As a result, it is this phenomenon of manufacturing scarcity that keeps the price of Swiss watches high.This rare production mode not only provides the owner with a symbol of noble status, but also leaves a psychological expectation that it will appreciate in value, thereby stimulating more consumers' desire to own, which is in fact exactly what they want. .
This is the effect of the scarcity principle, and it is not difficult to find that if people want to effectively control the situation and control others, they must learn to use the law of scarcity to serve themselves, and learn to release a "scarcity" smoke bomb from time to time.But when using this strategy, you must also master the method, specifically:
Create rare "false"
People need to create the illusion of "rareness", but it does not mean "rareness" in the true sense, but to make others feel that it is rare.For example, if mother wants your child to eat well, then you might as well put a bowl in front of yourself.In this way, most of the time, the child will feel that the food in front of the mother is more delicious, but the fact is that the child will feel that if he does not eat anymore.The meal is about to be finished by my mother, and I can't eat it myself.
Restricted resources can be used as arguments
When controlling others, people always have to persuade each other inevitably, but everyone has their own unique ideas. How easy is it to completely convince each other?This requires us to be good at using those restrictive resources as arguments to serve ourselves.
For example, when you have some little-known information, and this information happens to provide evidence for an idea or suggestion that you advocate, you can use the principle of rarity to persuade everyone, so that you can Get the other person's attention.Once the other person notices you and realizes that your rarity phenomenon is real, they will naturally fall under your control.Take car marketing as an example, if you are a car salesperson, and the company is doing discount activities recently, then when selling cars to customers, you might as well say to customers: This car is discounted until the end of this week, and the price will The lowest price in history, don't miss out.Although it is only a limited resource for one sentence, in fact, people will really believe that this is the lowest price in history, and they are not willing to miss the opportunity.
Here we must clearly emphasize that the authenticity of the information must be ensured.Otherwise, deceit will simply remove any attention you've earned from your previous efforts.
·The law of mind control·
The law of scarcity favors dominance because people are more motivated by the fear of losing something than by the desire to get something of equal value.In addition, when people perceive that they want a limited number of things, they perceive that the desired item is worth more than that of an abundant item.And this kind of psychology can be effectively used by smart people.
(End of this chapter)
◆Why do you say that the Air Florida crash could have been avoided?
◆Why did a few audience members take the lead in applauding non-stop and use warm applause to attract real applause?
◆Why do teachers always take extra care of those mischievous students?
◆Why does the boss always like to reprimand and scold those who are honest, gentle and submissive, and work hard without showing mercy?
◆Why sometimes, the more manpower, the lower the efficiency?
Authority Effect:
Trust and following authority are universal commonalities among people
In 1982, an Air Florida plane crashed.After the plane crashed, relevant departments investigated the crash and finally concluded that the main cause of the crash was the ice on the wings of the plane.
But just before the plane took off, there was such a scene: the co-pilot had already discovered this problem and suggested to the captain that he should check it.However, since the captain is a person with many years of aviation experience, coupled with his serious and responsible attitude to work for many years, he has already established considerable authority in this field. , and never mentioned it again.Just like that, the plane crashed while flying into the Potomac River.
In this incident, it is not difficult for us to find that the co-pilot has actually discovered the hidden danger, but why does he still follow the captain's suggestion and think that there is no problem when he knows there is a hidden danger?The reason lies in the general psychology of people: trust and following authority.It was the authority of the captain's position and the influence of experienced authoritative signals that made the co-pilot not stick to his original correct opinion, which eventually led to the tragedy.
Psychology calls the phenomenon caused by this kind of psychology the authority effect.The so-called authority effect simply means that if a person has a high status, prestige, and respect, then what he says and does will easily attract the attention of others, and it will easily convince the people around him that what he said is correct. That is to say, "people speak lightly, but people value their words seriously", which can also be called the authoritative suggestion effect.And once the other party lists you as a representative of authority, then you have a powerful tool to control others.It is often found that when those intelligent people dominate others, they must skillfully use the authority effect to serve themselves.
After Columbus's successful voyage, many people entered and left the palace under the guise of sailing, so it became extremely difficult to get the king's sponsorship to go to sea.In order to win the king's support, Magellan invited Louis Pareilo, a well-known geographer at the time, to go with him to meet the king.In the end, it was Luis Pareilo's plausible account of placing the globe before the king, as well as his introduction to the necessity of Magellan's voyage, that convinced the Spanish king.
The reason why Magellan successfully obtained the support of the king and realized the will of sailing was the influence of the authority effect.He used the authoritative appeal of Louis Pareilo, a geographer, to conquer the king and win patronage.
In addition, in life, we often see some people using the authority effect to serve themselves.For example, in order to gain customers, merchants will always invite some well-known and authoritative figures to speak for a product; in debates, those debaters will always cite various authorities in order to prove a certain point of view. Characters' words as arguments...
So why are people so susceptible to the authority effect, the tendency to defer to the opinions of others?This is because the reason why an authority becomes an authority is because he has already been recognized in a certain respect.You must know that under normal circumstances, obeying the words of these people can often bring people success and increase the "insurance factor" that they will not make mistakes.Therefore, the words and opinions of people with authority signals often make people habitually obey.Therefore, we say that trust and following authority are universal commonalities among people.
Since trusting and following authority is a common feature of people, for smart people, when controlling and controlling others to serve themselves, they can effectively use this strategy to serve themselves by enhancing their own authority.So, how do you increase your authority?The specific methods are summarized as follows:
Use principles to enhance your sense of authority
Psychology believes that when a person wears these things that can enhance personal prestige, he can release a signal of authority, and principles are undoubtedly a useful tool to enhance this signal of authority. The principles here include many factors.For example, one's own sense of responsibility, consistent honesty and trustworthiness, gentleman's demeanor, extraordinary tolerance and heart...
When you are branded this way by those around you, then you subconsciously build up your own sense of authority.In this way, when you control others, the other party will be subdued by your sense of authority unconsciously.
Vivid expression is also an important element to enhance authority
Sometimes we will find such a phenomenon: when someone is speaking, he always whispers or dare not look up at the people around him, we will doubt what he said, and people often describe him as having no confidence in his speech.And when someone always speaks loudly and vividly, and the tone, speed, expression, and demeanor all express a kind of passionate determination, even if we can't immediately support him, we will feel a little awe.People often use his eloquence to describe such a scene.
In fact, it is precisely because of the difference in the enhanced authority of the expression that it produces a completely different feeling.Therefore, when controlling others, smart people will be particularly vivid even in expression, because they know that this can enhance their own authority, and trust and following authority are common features of people.
·The law of mind control·
The reason why an authority becomes an authority is because he has already obtained people's approval in a certain aspect, and under normal circumstances, obeying the words of these people can bring people success and increase the "insurance factor" that will not go wrong.Therefore, the words and opinions of people with authority signals often make people habitually obey.
Herd mentality:
people like to keep pace with the crowd
Neil and Shangjia are loyal audiences of the opera, but also shrewd businessmen, they go to the opera every week.Once, at the climax of the opera, an audience couldn't hold back their excitement, and couldn't help clapping and yelling: "Good!" They found that under this yell, other audiences watching the opera also yelled. stand up.
From the applause and shouts, Neil and Shangjia saw business opportunities.Soon, they established a "comedy success insurance company", and the main insurance project operated by the company is the audience's applause. They serve opera singers and theater managers who hope to be recognized and appreciated by the audience. Their purpose It is to use their "false" applause to stimulate real applause from real audiences.The specific operation process is: an audience member in the audience yells "one more", and the accomplices behind will also take the lead in applauding non-stop and with warm applause... It is often this time that can attract real applause.
Neil and Shangjia are worthy of being shrewd businessmen. They are shrewd not only because they can see business opportunities in a single applause, but also because they know how to use people's herd mentality to create certain commercial value for themselves.
The so-called herd mentality simply means that people have the mentality of "following the crowd" and "joining in the fun".Specifically, it means that individuals are affected by the behavior of outside groups, and their own perception, judgment, and understanding show behaviors that conform to public opinion or the majority. This is a common social psychological phenomenon.It mainly stems from the invisible pressure of a group on oneself, and later psychologists called the phenomenon produced by this kind of psychology the herd effect.In order to better confirm the influence of this psychology on others, the psychologist Ashi has also done the most classic "Ashi experiment".
Before the experiment started, Axi invited some college students and told them that the purpose of the experiment was to measure the length of the lines.Before the college students walked into the laboratory, they arranged 5 people in advance to pretend to be people waiting for the experiment.At this time, college students who came to participate in the experiment walked into the laboratory.He found that there were already 5 people sitting there first, so he sat in the sixth position.
At this time, Axi took out a card with a vertical line drawn on it, and then asked everyone to compare this line with which of the three lines on the other card is the same length.In fact, the difference in length of these lines is so obvious that it is easy for people to judge correctly under normal circumstances.However, in the experiment, after the first five people deliberately gave a wrong answer, the sixth person also said a wrong answer.The judgment experiment was carried out 3 times in total, and the final result was that 5% of the people were influenced by the herd, 18% were influenced by the herd at least once, and only 33% were not influenced by the herd. With normal thinking, people are less than 76% likely to be wrong.
This is the power of herd mentality, and the reason why herd mentality can influence others is that in most cases, herd can bring people a lot of convenience.In a group, when an individual's behavior, attitude, and opinion are consistent with others, there will be a sense of security that "there is nothing wrong" and at the same time win the approval of others.Therefore, most people will be more willing to lean towards herd behavior.
In addition, when an individual is always unconventional, out of the ordinary and does not conform to the crowd, or disagrees with the majority of the group, it is easy to cause dissatisfaction from the people around him, which in turn brings a lot of pressure on himself, that is to say, he has to bear the burden of not conforming to the crowd. a lot of pressure.Therefore, this also strengthens people's herd phenomenon to a certain extent.
Since herd mentality is a universal commonality of people, when a smart person controls and controls others, he can effectively create a herd environment for himself, follow the momentum of the crowd, and use the power of others to serve himself.Specifically:
The verbal "follow the crowd" environment also needs to create
As the saying goes: "All talk makes money, accumulation destroys bones." When manipulating others, this trick can actually be effectively used by smart people.In other words, you can verbally create an environment to follow the crowd, which can actually create momentum for yourself.
This may sound difficult, but it is not difficult to understand.For example, we often see such a situation in life: when marketing a product to customers, the salesman will habitually say: "Your colleagues or neighbors have bought this product, you might as well try it. They all respond well." Yes, you'd better give it a try, so as not to miss the opportunity." Then, you will find that customers start to hesitate at this time.If you create an environment of following the crowd, then in most cases, he may be controlled by you, and then he will purchase the product.
In fact, what marketers do is to verbally create an environment of following the herd, and people often compromise on following the herd.Therefore, we say that when a smart person controls others, he will first create an environment for himself to follow the crowd.
Your confidants, friends, and colleagues with good relations are often your hard-core allies
The trees are beautiful in the forest, but the wind will destroy them.There is a lot of pressure to not conform, and people fear that pressure.Therefore, when a smart person controls others, he can use the power of everyone to serve himself better.The main force to be relied on is your confidant, friend or colleague with a good relationship, because these hardcore allies are often a powerful factor in the herd environment.
For example, when you are going to announce a plan in the company, you'd better get the approval of those colleagues who have a good relationship with you in advance.In this way, when you are announcing, once they are full of praise or unanimously support it, then even if others disagree, they may not say anything because most people support it, and then agree. your plan.And the situation at this time can be effectively controlled by you and controlled by you.
Mind Control Law
When an individual is always unconventional, does not conform to the crowd, or has differences with the majority of people in the group, it is easy to cause dissatisfaction from the people around him, which in turn brings a lot of pressure to himself, that is to say, he has to bear a lot of pressure if he does not conform to the crowd pressure.Therefore, this also strengthens people's herd mentality to a certain extent.
The principle of bullying the good and fearing the evil:
We must know that it is human nature to bully the good and fear the evil
Xiao Liu is a loyal and honest person without too much opinion. He has worked diligently and conscientiously in the workplace for more than ten years, and has always been called a "good old man" by the people in the company.He is just such a good old man who does good deeds, arrives early every day to fetch water and do sanitation, and helps everyone as soon as he asks for help. After ten years, his position is still stagnant, and his salary is just the same as everyone else’s. .But those latecomers who are more irritable, arrogant, and younger than him should all be promoted, and those who should get a raise should get a raise.
For promotion and salary increase, in fact, Xiao Liu yearns for it more than anyone else, and tries to perform well every time, but the reality is: the better you perform and the more you do, the more promotion you can get .Once, due to the resignation of his boss, Xiao Liu seemed to see a chance to be promoted, but the final announcement was still not him.Angrily, he found the leader. The leader told him that this position requires a person who is courageous and able to calm down the people around him, and your personality is not suitable for this position, and you should be promoted when you have the opportunity.The fact is that the leader doesn't want to provoke a tough person, so as not to make trouble for himself every day.
In fact, not only Xiao Liu’s experience is like this, we also often find this phenomenon in life: In the same class, the teacher always takes special care of those mischievous students.Once these students and other students compete for an item at the same time, they will always distribute this item to the tough student.Similarly, if there is a small accident in the company, the boss may reprimand, scold, and even withhold wages and bonuses for those honest, gentle and submissive people who work hard.But for those masters who are irritable and confronted face to face, most of them will be kind and polite, tell them politely and it's over.
Xiao Liu's leaders, teachers, and bosses, why did they do this?This is because the leaders and teachers have made good use of the psychology of "bullying the good and fearing the evil" to serve themselves: First of all, tough students and individuals are not easy to appease, so try not to disobey them, just say what you can, If you can follow it, you will follow it; and a gentle, easy-going, good-tempered old man is easier to be persuaded and persuaded.
In addition, leaders and teachers also have such a self-preservation mentality, provoking those tough people, making enemies with them, and constant conflicts will make their lives unstoppable.Just imagine, if they quarrel every day and every day, and they quarrel again and again, no one will have a good life.And for those who are too kind and weak, even if they disobey them and violate their interests, they may not pose any great threat to themselves.
Therefore, in most cases, out of self-preservation, people are more willing to sacrifice those kind and weak people as their own stepping stones.In fact, this is everyone's self-preservation psychology. "Bullying the good and fearing the evil" is human nature, and it is a common psychology.But the "evil" mentioned here is not to bully others, but to show one's strength to the maximum extent, it is a way of survival to protect oneself, it allows you to reduce or suspend the harm, and allows you to have more Great living space.
Since "bullying the good and fearing the evil" is human nature and a common psychological phenomenon of ordinary people, then smart people can effectively use this psychological strategy to arm themselves and make themselves a tough "evil" person, so that Then you can better control others and conquer others.The specific methods and precautions are as follows:
Acting "evil" requires good timing
For those smart people, to be "evil" is not to blindly bully good people, nor to blindly be vicious, but at certain times, you have to show a standpoint, courage, assertion, and principle , has its own psychological bottom line.Let others realize that you are not a bully, a person who accepts harm honestly, or even a powerful "anti-injury" person.In this way, the other party will often be more obedient to you, and it will also help you control and control others.
For example, when getting along with colleagues, if some colleagues always belittle you indirectly through words, you can also speak back unceremoniously; It is trying to take advantage of you, so you can't just accept it blindly, but you can choose the right time to remind the other party, tell the other party that you are not a "short-hearted" master, and you can also reduce the relationship with this kind of abuse in your future life. The frequency of contact with people, so that the other party will naturally perceive your "powerful", and then have a little fear of you, and be easy to be controlled by you.
When you are "bad" by others, you must not appear weak
Everyone may encounter other people's "evil" in life. You must know that this is a universality of human beings.Since it is universal, it will inevitably surround people all the time.But when encountering "evil", you must not show your weakness and powerlessness in front of others.
This is because it is easy to trigger other people's mentality of "bullying" next time. After a long time, they will think that you are a weak person who is easy to bully, and then give the initiative to the other party.Once you have given your initiative to the other party, how can you control and control others?For example, when we are treated unfairly, you don’t need to be furious immediately, and you don’t need to retort immediately, but you can talk to the other party and discuss with the other party in the future... In this way, in the other party’s heart, you will also feel that you are not a willing person. Lord of the bullied.
·The law of mind control·
Since "bullying the good and fearing the evil" is human nature, a kind of inferiority, and a common psychological phenomenon, then a smart person can effectively use this psychological strategy to arm himself and make himself a tough "evil" In this way, we can better control and conquer others.
The Zeigoni Effect:
Stimulate people's "desire to complete"
Wang Min has recently fallen in love with cross-stitch. After returning home from get off work every day, she doesn't even want to cook. The first thing she does is pick up cross-stitch and embroider non-stop.Although it wasn't a big deal, it made me forget about food and drink.One weekend night, she embroidered vigorously for a day and a night, and did not rest until she finished all the cross-stitching.In fact, Wang Min finished the cross-stitch in such a hurry, not because she was in a hurry, nor was someone forcing her to hand in the work, but because she was so devoted that she didn't want to sleep or even eat.She said to her friend: "Through doing cross-stitch work, I finally understand what it means to forget food and sleep."
Why did Wang Min forget to eat and sleep until he finished cross-stitch embroidery before taking a rest?In fact, this is the result of the "Zaigoni effect" in psychology.The so-called "Zaigoni effect" mainly talks about: People are born with a driving force to do things from beginning to end. If the task they want to complete is not completed, they will have a strong sense of discomfort in their hearts, driving them to ignore other things and continue the task. Work until the motivation to complete is satisfied.
The "Zaigoni Effect" tells us that a strong desire to complete is a common psychology of people, and everyone who is too involved in doing one thing will have this kind of psychology to a greater or lesser extent.And the cleverness of those smart people is undoubtedly that they can make good use of this psychology, find ways to motivate people to realize their "desire for completion", and then control each other and develop in the direction they want.
Yang Yang is a college student who just graduated from a normal school and works as a history teacher in an elementary school.For elementary school students, history is undoubtedly boring.Therefore, when students are in history class, they will always do various tricks or climb the table.In order to improve the students' listening status, she adopted such a strategy: before class, let the students watch a short relevant historical film, but always stop playing at the climax, which inspired the students to continue to explore Interest in historical films.As for Yang Yang, it was at this time that a history lesson officially started.Since then, the phenomenon of students doing small movements or lying on the table in class has really been effectively improved.In fact, Yang Yang was able to successfully control and guide students to listen carefully to the history class by using the "Zaigoni effect".
Therefore, since people are born with a driving force to do things from beginning to end, accompanied by a strong desire to complete, then smart people can use various methods like Yang Yang to stimulate the "desire to complete" deep in others' hearts.At this point, even if you don't ask the other party to do what you want, he will take the initiative to do it himself.To stimulate the other party's "desire to complete", try the following methods:
Interest is the most likely to stimulate the "desire to complete"
In life, we all have this feeling. When we have a strong interest in something or something, we tend to be more active, and once we start the thing we are interested in, we will be more active. The mentality of being out of control and full of energy, and even a desire to complete if you don't do well and don't get it.
Therefore, if you want to control others, you must understand the interests of the other person, because only when you know what the other person likes and hobbies, when you control and control the other person, can you effectively match what they like.And when the other party can't help but move closer to the points of interest you designed for him, and try to get things done in one go, this is not far from your goal and goal.For example, when the mother persuades the child to study hard, if he directly says that you should study hard, the child may continue to play, but if the mother indirectly stimulates the child's desire to learn according to the child's interests, then even if the mother does nothing after that Not to mention, most children will learn consciously.
"Desire to complete" requires the cultivation of a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere
Although fulfillment desire is an internal driving force in the process of doing things, it is one's own psychological behavior, but it also requires the cultivation of the external environment.For example, we may all have had this experience in life. When they are in a warm, relaxed and pleasant atmosphere, their interest in doing things will be particularly high, and the more they do it, the more they want to do it.But when they do things in a depressive and disharmonious atmosphere, most of them will feel upset, restless, and even have the mentality that the more they do it, the less they want to do it.
Therefore, if you want to motivate others to keep going, you must learn to create a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere for the other party, so that the other party will have a strong internal driving force in a harmonious and harmonious atmosphere, driving yourself to keep going. to do things.For example, in order to encourage everyone to work actively, managers sometimes try to make the working atmosphere very relaxed and pleasant, which will undoubtedly make the staff experience more fun and be more willing to work hard.
·The law of mind control·
A strong desire to complete is a common psychology among people.Everyone who is too involved in doing one thing will have this kind of psychology more or less.Therefore, if you want to control others, you must stimulate their "desire to complete".In this way, the other party will be under your control unconsciously and develop in the direction you want.
Mentality of enslavement:
Taking advantage of the inferiority of good people - slavery
Xia Xia and her boyfriend are college classmates, and they are even half fellows. They have been in love for four years in college, and their relationship has always been very good.But when graduation was approaching, the two quietly broke up.When her friend asked her why, Xia Xia said helplessly: "Although there is no one who can tell her now, my family is very superior, but his family is too bad. The contrast is too great. My parents can't accept me looking for someone like this." People from a family background." "Then you haven't communicated with your parents?" My friend asked suspiciously. "Communication, I even used the method of crying, making trouble, and hanging myself. But my mother said, if I were with him, everything I have now, the house and car they bought... All will be taken back. I can't imagine how I will live without these, so in the end I can only choose to break up." Xia Xia shook her head and said.
From the reasons why Xia Xia broke up with her boyfriend, it is not difficult to find that what Xia Xia can't bear the most is not the opposition of her parents, but that her parents will take back all the superior life and benefits they have bestowed on her.So, she wavered, and finally made a helpless choice.Some friends said that Xia Xia's love was not sincere enough and too selfish; How selfish I am is due to the inferiority of human beings - slavery.
The so-called enslavement simply means: a kind of awareness and behavior that is internalized into its own initiative and self-consciousness. , unconditionally accepted.Internalization into one's own initiative and self-consciousness mainly talks about: this is not one's own initial thought, but a psychology that is gradually internalized into one's own self-consciousness under the imposition of the external environment.
In fact, not only Xia Xia, but everyone in life has this kind of mentality.Therefore, the inferiority of human beings—servility is a universal psychology.The simplest proof of its ubiquity is: in countries with sound laws and thorough enforcement, the people will complain about the lack of freedom, but most of the social order is good, and people will not easily violate it.On the contrary, in those countries with lax laws and lax enforcement, although people enjoy a high degree of freedom, the social order is in a mess, and things like terrorist attacks happen frequently.
From this, it is not difficult to find that slavery has universal existence, and it is also a kind of inferiority of human beings.For smart people, this undoubtedly leaves them with the opportunity to influence others, control others, and control others.
Lao Zhang is the director of a company, in charge of more than 20 people.Once, during the weekend break, the company had urgent matters and asked everyone to work overtime on weekends, and told everyone who worked overtime, in addition to the original allowance for this month, they would also distribute half of it.As a result, as soon as his words came out, some people below raised their hands and said: "Can I not have the allowance and not come to work overtime?" Someone else said: "I won't come, just don't need the allowance!" Lao Zhang was very unhappy when he heard this. , angrily did not give affirmation or negation, turned and returned to the office.When get off work was about to end, colleagues saw a notice on the bulletin board: Overtime allowances are still paid, but those who do not work overtime for one day will have all allowances deducted for this month; those who do not work overtime for two days will deduct all allowances and part of their salary. "As a result, all the people obediently came to work overtime the next day.
The cleverness of Lao Zhang is that he knows how to use people's inferiority - servility, to serve himself.At the same time, we should also pay attention to that although the use of slavery in psychology can effectively control and control others, we must also pay attention to the method when using it, so that we can get twice the result with half the effort.
"Punishment" is easy to activate the slavery of others
Although rewards can induce the positive side of human nature, but when people don't care about this "reward", then it will undoubtedly lose its original effectiveness.The reason why "punishment" can easily lead to the servility of others is that most of the time people tend to have this mentality: they may not pay enough attention to the dispensable things that are added to themselves, but for those things that they themselves Things that were originally there, which are suddenly about to be taken away through punishment, will appear more tense.Therefore, in order to control and control others, one must know how to activate the servility of the other party through appropriate punishment.
"Whip" can also bring about effective slavery
As the saying goes: "Only when the whip is waiting on you will you be obedient." Although this is just a common saying, it also explains a certain truth, that is, when necessary, you need to give the other party a whip, but here it refers to the meaning of whip .The enslavement of people's hearts determines that they must give spurs and incentives from time to time in order to make changes.In other words, it must be under the pressure of external forces to enter an orderly state.For example, parents may have this experience. When educating a child, if you always motivate him and keep urging him to make progress, the child's grades and other aspects may be greatly improved.But if you let it go, you may become an out-and-out bad boy in the end.
·The law of mind control·
Slavery is a kind of inferiority of human beings, and it is also a kind of universality.The reason why I say this is because people often have such a mentality: when people around you compulsively demand you, you just don’t want to, and because you are afraid of not acting according to the other party’s ideas, you will bring yourself a loss of interests, and you have to do it. Disobedience to the wishes of the other party.
Commitment Consistency Principle:
Enabling and exploiting people's "commitment alignment" mentality
Gu Ming is the manager of the marketing department. There is such a salesman in their department. During the marketing process, he is always careless and makes various low-level mistakes.When he introduced the company's products to customers, he would forget to bring the company's samples, thus losing a good source of customers.As a result, his marketing performance has always been the last two in the same department.In order to help the salesman get rid of his carelessness, Gu Ming tried his best, but every time it was good at the beginning, but it remained the same after a long time.
Once, Gu Ming discovered that the salesman had made some mistakes in the monthly report that he was given.In fact, the matter was not that serious, but in order to let the salesman really have a long memory and learn from this lesson, Gu Ming severely criticized him, and told him that if he made such a low-level mistake next time, he would be immediately banned. fired.The salesman immediately agreed and promised to never make similar mistakes in the company.
As a result, it was this promise that allowed the salesman to get rid of his bad habits of carelessness.Later, at an exchange meeting, the salesman said: "It was Gu Ming who forced me to make a promise to resign if I made a mistake again, so that I can always remind myself in future work, and then get rid of the shortcomings of carelessness. .”
From this incident, it is not difficult to see that Gu Ming is worthy of being a smart person in controlling salesmen and others, and his cleverness is due to the clever use of people's general psychology: the psychology of commitment and consistency, that is, After people make a promise to the other party, they often act out of consistency in morality, belief, integrity, speech, and behavior, and then act to keep the promise.
So why are people more motivated to do something once they've made a commitment?This is because, after making a promise to others, if you fail to fulfill the promise, you may be called immoral and not honest by the people around you.In fact, no one wants to carry such a reputation.In many cases, people are more willing to fulfill their commitments.In other words, people live in society, and their words and deeds are often influenced by the opinions of others.In order to ensure a good image in the minds of others, they often habitually pursue the behavior of "consistent with their words and deeds", and then implement it without hesitation after making a promise.
In order to further verify the universality of the principle of consistent commitment and its influence on controlling and controlling others, the famous psychologist Thomas Moriarty once conducted an experiment on preventing theft:
He left his towel and his portable radio on the beaches with the most traffic.After a few minutes, he left the towel and the radio behind and walked to the beach.The relevant person pretended to be a thief, walked over quietly, picked up the cassette player and left quickly.I did it 20 times repeatedly, but in the end only 4 people did it bravely.
Later, he changed this procedure a bit. When he left, he would simply say to the people around him and ask them to take care of him, even if the other party just promised to "nod".When the relevant personnel go to get things again, the other party will also come forward.Of the 20 experiments conducted, 19 were brave.This experiment further confirms the influence of commitment consistency principle on people's behavior.
Although people are susceptible to the principle of consistent commitment, how can we make the other party make a promise that is beneficial to us and make it more active to fulfill the promise?This is not an easy task, and it requires people to master relevant methods and use them flexibly.
Find ways to get others to make a "final commitment"
The reason why the last promise is important is that there is a kind of helplessness in the last promise, and when people realize that they have no choice, this can only be their last choice. Or at the last chance, they will often show more intentions, and then earnestly fulfill their original promise to you.
Therefore, when controlling and controlling others, you might as well first try to get the other party to make a final commitment to you, and then let him slowly change his mentality.In this way, he will be like an invisible compass, moving in the direction originally promised.Even if you point in the opposite direction from the direction he originally wanted to go, he will continue to go because of it.For example, you can guide the person you want to control and say to him: "This is your last chance, let me tell you for the last time, and I will tell you for the last time..." Once the other party agrees to you and abides by your promise, he will most likely more actively put into practice.
Use the public eye to force the other party to do what they say
In the Olympic Games, we often find such a phenomenon that the host congress sends a representative referee and an athlete to make short oaths to people all over the world before the opening ceremony.Why take an oath?This is because it is a commitment made in the public eye, which is more conducive to the consistent behavior of fulfilling the commitment in the future.
And controlling people also requires such a strategy, that is to say, when you try to get a person to make a promise, it is best to find a third party or other people, and let them make promises to you in front of these people. Commitment, this is more conducive to the other party's future work and life to fulfill their promises.Because his promises will be supervised by the people around him, when he breaks his promises, he will be under a certain amount of pressure, and this can prevent him from going back on his word to a certain extent.
·The law of mind control·
Once you have made a promise to others, if you fail to fulfill this promise, you may be called immoral and not honest by the people around you. No one wants to bear such a reputation.In other words, people live in society, and their words and deeds are often influenced by the opinions of others.In order to ensure a good image in the hearts of others, they often habitually pursue the behavior of "consistent with their words and deeds", and then implement it without hesitation after making a promise.
Social inertia:
To control others is to prevent the inertia of others
Mr. Wang wanted to build a garden in his yard, so he hired a few workers from a friend's factory to help carry the bricks.On the first day, a friend sent two people over.Mr. Wang felt that the ability of two people was too limited, and the moving speed was a bit slow, so he called his friend and said that he wanted to move the bricks quickly, hoping that he could send two more workers.The next day, the friend really sent him two more people, and the four workers began to move the bricks.But after the end of the second day, he found that although there were four people, the efficiency of moving bricks was not as high as he thought.He felt that it was still caused by insufficient manpower. According to the moving speed of four people on this day, he made a plan and felt that he only needed to find two more people to carry it on the third day.So he called his friend and called two more people.Mr. Wang thought that there are enough people now, and the bricks should be moved in a day.But on the third day, the bricks were still not moved as planned.
According to normal logical thinking, the more manpower, the greater the achievement. Why didn't Mr. Wang's bricks be transported on the third day as he expected?In fact, this is caused by the social inertia in psychology.The so-called social inertia, also known as social inertia, this concept originated from the German psychologist Ringelmann, mainly talking about: nature is an inert substance, and human beings also have an inert psychology, which is mainly manifested in the negative backwardness and stagnation of social members Don't wait.
And when there are more people, it is less easy for everyone around to see the results of personal efforts when doing things together, and the social inertia of individuals will be more obvious.Mr. Wang failed to control the people who carried the bricks for him, in fact, it was precisely because he failed to overcome the emotional psychology of these people.
Why is people's social inertia so great?This is because, when people do things, most of the time they participate in groups.When everyone participates in one thing, it is impossible to tell who does more and who does less, so we simply reduce our efforts and take a break from the busy schedule.That is to say, when the relationship between individual input and group output is unclear, there may be "free riders" and "fillers" who are attached to the group among individuals.For example, in the tug-of-war competitions we often see, sometimes you will find that the more people you have, the more powerful you are, but the more united you are, the more powerful you will be.The human heart here is actually talking about the dedication of personal strength.
In addition, when everyone is working together, individuals lack the necessary motivation. They will feel that even if they pay a lot, perform well, and achieve success, they will not get the sense of accomplishment they deserve. The results belong to everyone. So it is no longer as active as when I was doing it alone.In other words, if people realize that their contributions cannot be measured, they will be less effective.
Since the laziness will be affected by the number of people and the sense of personal accomplishment, when controlling and controlling others, you can use these two aspects to prevent the laziness of others and serve yourself better.
"Pressure" can prevent inertia
People's inertia is often directly related to the number of people.That is to say, when you control more people, this kind of inertia may become more obvious, because when you try to control more people, compared with the other person, the pressure will inevitably decrease. The energy is also less.For example, we often see that when a manager tries to dictate to group members, the more group members he commands, the less likely he is to command.
Therefore, this requires us to learn to put pressure on each other even when we are controlling many people.Because most of the time, the greater the pressure, the greater the motivation.You have to be good at getting employees into a stressful group, so that you can get more support from the group.For example, the competition among group members, the last elimination system implemented by the company... These pressures can prevent inertia to a certain extent.
"Sense of achievement" is an important factor to prevent inertia
We all have this experience. When we are praised by others for doing something, or after we have worked hard and achieved success, a sense of accomplishment will arise spontaneously, and we are more willing to do this thing.And when people are willing to do something, and even think about doing it to further experience the satisfaction brought by this sense of accomplishment, he doesn't care who asks him to do it.By this time, you have successfully entered the realm of controlling and controlling others.
·The law of mind control·
Since the laziness will be affected by the number of people and the factors of personal accomplishment, when controlling and controlling others, you can use these two aspects to prevent the laziness of others and serve yourself better.
The law of scarcity:
Put a "rare" smoke bomb
Yang Li is a salesperson in an electrical appliance store, and her sales performance in the store is always among the best.Colleagues were curious about this and asked her about her marketing secrets.She smiled and said, "It's very simple. Sometimes customers need you to create the illusion of scarcity before they can finally make up their minds to buy your product."
Let's say last time, a customer was going to buy the 27-inch TV advertised in the newspaper last week.But in the process of coming to buy, he is also considering other styles.He compared various TV sets for about 20 minutes, and finally chose the cheaper one among the 27 inches.After he expressed his wish, Yang Li did not directly get the goods for him, but told him that he would go to the warehouse to see if there was any stock, because this TV set was very popular in the past two days.When she came back, she told him: "You are lucky, there is only the last one left in the warehouse." This made the customer feel lucky, and she got the order immediately.
Yang Li's cleverness lies in her ability to successfully control customers, which has allowed her to achieve impressive results in marketing performance.But from the marketing experience she introduced to her colleagues, it is not difficult to find that the principle she uses is actually the "principle of rare law" in psychology.
The principle of "scarcity" is simply the principle that what most people want can only be supplied in a limited amount (with the exception of free goods).The so-called law of scarcity is: People call the contradiction between their endless desires and limited resources "scarcity".
People are not unfamiliar with rare and regular phenomena. For example, we can always see this phenomenon in life: TV advertisements are always told that the last supply is available, and each person only buys 3 pieces, and they can only buy them on weekends or holidays... In fact , this kind of advertisement implies scarcity to a certain extent.
At this time, it is not difficult for people to understand why Panasonic's large-scale production and large-scale marketing will make it fall into trouble, and continue to lose money, and even slipped to the edge of bankruptcy at one point. This is also the result of violating the law of scarcity, and then Can't control the marketing situation well and control the psychology of customer needs.
Then, why do rare laws have such great magic power in controlling and controlling others?In this regard, psychologists believe that people's fear of losing something is more motivating to them than the idea of wanting to get something of equal value.In addition, when people perceive that they want a limited number of things, they perceive that the desired item is worth more than that of an abundant item.
And those smart business people are often good at taking advantage of this scarcity principle.For example, one of the important reasons why famous Swiss watches are so expensive is that manufacturers of famous Swiss watches strictly limit the production quantity of each watch.As a result, it is this phenomenon of manufacturing scarcity that keeps the price of Swiss watches high.This rare production mode not only provides the owner with a symbol of noble status, but also leaves a psychological expectation that it will appreciate in value, thereby stimulating more consumers' desire to own, which is in fact exactly what they want. .
This is the effect of the scarcity principle, and it is not difficult to find that if people want to effectively control the situation and control others, they must learn to use the law of scarcity to serve themselves, and learn to release a "scarcity" smoke bomb from time to time.But when using this strategy, you must also master the method, specifically:
Create rare "false"
People need to create the illusion of "rareness", but it does not mean "rareness" in the true sense, but to make others feel that it is rare.For example, if mother wants your child to eat well, then you might as well put a bowl in front of yourself.In this way, most of the time, the child will feel that the food in front of the mother is more delicious, but the fact is that the child will feel that if he does not eat anymore.The meal is about to be finished by my mother, and I can't eat it myself.
Restricted resources can be used as arguments
When controlling others, people always have to persuade each other inevitably, but everyone has their own unique ideas. How easy is it to completely convince each other?This requires us to be good at using those restrictive resources as arguments to serve ourselves.
For example, when you have some little-known information, and this information happens to provide evidence for an idea or suggestion that you advocate, you can use the principle of rarity to persuade everyone, so that you can Get the other person's attention.Once the other person notices you and realizes that your rarity phenomenon is real, they will naturally fall under your control.Take car marketing as an example, if you are a car salesperson, and the company is doing discount activities recently, then when selling cars to customers, you might as well say to customers: This car is discounted until the end of this week, and the price will The lowest price in history, don't miss out.Although it is only a limited resource for one sentence, in fact, people will really believe that this is the lowest price in history, and they are not willing to miss the opportunity.
Here we must clearly emphasize that the authenticity of the information must be ensured.Otherwise, deceit will simply remove any attention you've earned from your previous efforts.
·The law of mind control·
The law of scarcity favors dominance because people are more motivated by the fear of losing something than by the desire to get something of equal value.In addition, when people perceive that they want a limited number of things, they perceive that the desired item is worth more than that of an abundant item.And this kind of psychology can be effectively used by smart people.
(End of this chapter)
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