Love Apartment 4
Chapter 16 Let's Fly, Single Weekend
Chapter 16 Let's Fly, Single Weekend
1
A big event is about to happen in iPartment - Yoyo and Guan Gu decided to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau next Tuesday to get a certificate!This is not to blame for the two of them procrastinating. It is really that the folk customs and customs of the two countries are too different, and the zodiac calculations are different. It is really not easy to make a day that is auspicious for both sides.This also means that this weekend is Yoyo and Guan Gu's last single weekend.
Ziqiao said that it has been a custom for thousands of years that men and women before marriage will be divided into two groups, and each will let go of the last madness. They must party, must be beautiful, and be fully high. A marriage without a single weekend is an unhealthy marriage.Yoyo and Guan Gu said that soft landing is popular now, not so pretentious, not to mention that Ziqiao lost the bet that time and lost the right to host the singles night long ago, so this weekend should be the same as usual, what to do.
Yoyo: That's right, don't hold parties, don't take planes, you should give up on it.
The two sides insisted on their own opinions, couldn't agree on what to do, and couldn't argue for a reason, until another big event happened in the apartment!
Yoyo and Meijia went to buy Bingrui yesterday and won the "one more bottle"!When they went to exchange for a free drink, the supermarket happened to be out of stock, and the supermarket staff asked them to pick up an equivalent item, and they took a bottle of Lux shower gel.Unexpectedly, after opening the package, I found that I won another 3000 bonus points from Jingdong Mall.Then the two of them used their points to exchange a lot of Natto's skin care products.If there is only a little skin care product, then it is not surprising. Coincidentally, there is a facial mask in a lottery draw. I scratched off the lottery card and saw a line of words - free two-day stay at the Crowne Plaza Hotel!Location: Hainan, Sanya!
A series of small-probability events together illustrate a truth, that is, it is simply not allowed to celebrate the weekend of singles!After confirmation, there are exactly three places for the grand prize hotel check-in project. Yoyo and Meijia decided on the spot to organize a special trip to Hainan for ladies, leave a group of stinky men at home, and let women's exclusive beauty fly in the blue sky, white clouds, blue sea and golden sands!
Such cruelty, indifference, and inconsistency, of course the male compatriots disagree!Pure men's weekends, without the restrictions of mother-in-law and mother-in-law and the blah blah blah, the world belongs to the men's gang. I really can't agree with it!So Ziqiao, Zeng Xiaoxian and the others reluctantly bid farewell on the surface, and they kept trying to keep them, and they were already happy in their hearts.Even if Guan Gu is really reluctant to part with Yoyo, he has no choice but to follow the trend and join their "degenerate" ranks.
The only difficulty lies in Yifei.Since the department arranged for her to take the professional title examination last week, she memorized four books and wrote six papers a week.After the professional title exam, Yifei seemed to be a different person. She always said that the noise in the world is just clouds, and the tranquility in the book is eternal. She also said that she had a new understanding of life.I stopped chatting, gossip, and went out to play. I read books all day long, shut myself in my own little world, and cut off from the outside world.
Zeng Xiaoxian was afraid that she would be stupid and turn into a nerd by studying like this, so he tried every means to make her happy, but all had little effect.Invite her to try your skills at the X-Room Escape Room Club. She said that the escape room is the most boring. There is a door and you are not allowed to leave. If you have to find clues, you are just taking off your pants and farting.Invite her to sing K at Melody, record the songs by the way, and release a duo album. She said that the kind of narcissistic pediatrics, she didn't catch a cold five years ago.Even Zeng Xiaoxian's trump card and Bailing's eyebrow dance, Yifei didn't bother to look at him, saying that he was childish, ignorant, and boring.
Zhang Wei analyzed that this is because Yifei has been in a high-pressure state for a long time, so she can't get out for a while, which is normal. This is Newton's theorem of inertia.Women are made of water. It takes a process to go from a clear mirror with still water to turbulent waves. It is useless for others to meddle in their own business, unless she suddenly awakens herself and walks out of this state.
Of course, when Yoyo and Meijia urged her to go to Hainan to celebrate the singles weekend with them, Yifei still felt bored.Let the two of them try their best to describe how beautiful Sanya is: blue sky and white clouds, shadows of coconut groves, clear water and white sand, three beauties basking in the sun and playing in the water together, catching crabs and digging holes, and a group of The handsome guy chased after them and helped them put on sunscreen... Yifei still didn't find anything particularly interesting.
Temptation is not enough, so I have to make people feel disgusted and practice Dafa.Meijia said: "Just imagine, if you don't go with us, you will be the only girl left in the apartment on weekends. Do you want to play with those boys? Even if you don't play with them, you are afraid that they will disturb you later. You, especially Mr. Zeng, he heard that you are living in an old house recently and are planning a package of new programs to entertain you."
When Zeng Xiaoxian was mentioned, Yifei naturally sneered: "Come on, all he has is a few old jokes and that ridiculous eyebrow dance, he's so boring."
Meijia said: "I saw that he was already rehearsing an upgraded version of the eyebrow dance just now. This time it's not the eyebrows - it's dancing with the eyelids. Imagine, the lower eyelids..."
Yifei seemed to see a pot of expired pistachios, shivering and shivering.now it's right!Meijia laughed secretly, and continued to persuade: "Yifei, do you know what the most boring thing is? It's a person who thinks he's funny trying to make you laugh. Think about it."
After weighing the pros and cons, Yifei finally asked: "When is the plane?" Yoyo replied: "Tomorrow morning."
Then, let's go!
But when he arrived at the hotel, Yifei returned to "normal" and stayed in the room to read a book.She came all the way to Sanya, and she actually memorized a whole box of books, besides "A Brief History of Time" which she reads every day these days, there are also its sequels - the second "A Brief History of Space", the third "A Brief History of the World". "History", and there is also a biography, "A Brief History of Shengjian".
Probably God rewards hard work, and even God is on Yifei's side. The weather was good, but less than an hour after they landed, it started to rain heavily.Yoyo and Meijia had prepared their swimsuits and beach towels, and were just waiting for La Yifei to go out to bask in the sun, catch crabs, and enjoy themselves, but now they just stared at each other in the room.Turn on the TV, and the news is broadcasting: Affected by Tropical Cyclone No. 38 "Dragon Knight", the heavy rain will continue to affect the city. Experts predict that the rainfall may continue to increase in the next two days.Do not approach the beach until the red flag warning is lifted, pay attention to safety.
Youyou sighed: "We abandoned Guan Gu and came all the way to enjoy the rain. They will laugh at us to death."
Meijia also looked aggrieved, and began to think about those stupid and ugly men, and wondered what they were playing at the moment?
2
This is what it feels like to suddenly lose a woman at home. All the soap and shampoo in the toilet are taken away in an instant, and there is not even a piece of toilet paper left.When I woke up early in the morning, the old men were wilted and sighed. The girls had just left, and life was going to be unbearable.
As the only leader of the men's gang, Ziqiao ordered everyone to cheer up, assuming that these women never existed, would everyone really be dead?What's more, he had a plan long ago: "I invited all unmarried women of the right age in the whole community to our party, and removed those who were crooked, and then removed those who had hatred against me. I roughly divided them into several categories: Lolita, Yujie, Hamei, mature women, you can divide into groups at that time..."
The stubborn Guan Gu reiterated: "There will be no parties or strange girls this weekend. Even if Yoyo betrays me, I will cleanse myself, OK? I will never accompany you to do anything out of the ordinary!"
Zi Qiao persuaded him earnestly: "Guan Gu, your life is about to enter the grave, I will not hold you back. But you must know that even if the world is destroyed, there will be a time when the light will return, and the darkness will highlight the value of the light. Ask you In your heart, what are the thoughts that you have always wanted to do but never put into action? Just do it! If you say no, just pretend that I am talking. After 48 hours, these thoughts will be completely buried with your freedom, rest assured Be a good baby for my little aunt."
Hearing what he said, Guan Gu suddenly remembered something, Yoyo once made a list of strict prohibitions for him, now this moment of doing whatever he wants, isn't it just a good time to execute the list?But the condition is that the things on that list don't need beauties, just a few of them are enough.
It is impossible to see that there is such a wild heart hidden behind Guan Gu's gentle appearance.After a while, Guan Gu found out a long list, saying that these were all "men's games" that he had always wanted to play, but Yoyo said that considering the civilization of the neighborhood and the safety of humans and animals, he shot all these ideas to death.If you don't play now, when will you wait?
The first men's game, indoor polo.
Everybody, suit up!Single weekend, let's go!
Zeng Xiaoxian, Guan Gu, and Ziqiao were dressed in polo clothes, each riding a bicycle, with a broom in their hand, and a balloon on the ground. "Cues" are everywhere, and all the items in the room are crooked, vases, coffee pots, tea tables, chairs, sofas... It's just a big destruction!Zhang Wei just watched and couldn't help shouting "too violent, too violent"!
Zeng Xiaoxian squinted at him: "Or what do you think? That's why Yoyo blocked this project!"
The second game for men, nerf CS!
The door opened, and a string of nerf bullets flew in. Zeng Xiaoxian appeared with a nerf gun in his hand, reminding his teammates: "Zone B, clear!"
Guan Gu suddenly flashed out from behind the door, laughing: "It's too early to talk!" Xiaoxian lay down, and the two fell behind the sofa, using the sofa as a cover, and shot each other, Zeng Xiaoxian was shot and fell to the ground.
"Ha! Whoever laughs last laughs the best!" Zi Qiao suddenly appeared behind Guan Gu, pointed a gun to the back of his head, and proudly announced: "Say your last words."
Guan Gu raised his hand to surrender, and suddenly pointed out the window: "Look, the flying saucer!" While Zi Qiao was distracted, Guan Gu rolled to the ground, and Zi Qiao shot at each other, and both of them shot out of bullets at the same time.Seeing that there was a gun next to Xiaoxian's body, the two flew to grab it, and Guan Gu snatched it: "I'm sorry—your hands are too short." A shot was fired, and Zi Qiao fell to the ground and died.
At the end of the battle, the three of them lay down on the ground, panting.Zeng Xiaoxian sighed: "If those girls were here, they would definitely not allow us to play at home." Guan Gu imitated the voice of Youyou, and said in a fuss: "Die! It's too dangerous, and the flowers and plants are broken, what should I do? Zhang Wei came in with a head full of sucker bullets, and asked unconvinced: "How can this bullet be so powerful? It's because your movements are too wide!"
Looking at each other's embarrassment, several people laughed heartily, it was too exciting and enjoyable!
This kind of blood and unrestrained is what single weekends want!Half a day passed, and the apartment was in a mess, the sofa was overturned, bullets were everywhere, the decorative paintings on the wall fell off, and broken glass was everywhere.
Zi Qiao continued to command: "Look at the list, the next item!" She actually seems to have completed all 12 impossible tasks?Half a day, it feels like a year has passed, shouldn't the time of indulgence go by quickly?How can it be so slow?
Ziqiao decided that it must be because of the lack of external stimulation and the absence of audiences. "The so-called solitary happiness is not as good as a group of people, and epilepsy is not as good as being crazy. Only the shouting of the audience can double our energy and double the fun, so we need to switch from the self-high mode to the group high mode!"
Zhang Wei asked stupidly: "How to switch?"
Ziqiao took out her mobile phone and showed off: "There are a large number of beautiful women waiting to enter the venue!" After a long time of trouble, I still want to find beautiful women to hold a party!Seeing that everyone was not too happy, Zi Qiao challenged: "It's okay if you don't look for it, how about another one?"
Everyone looked at each other in blank dismay and had to admit defeat: "Forget it, let's do as you say."
3
"We can't lose to them, Mika, please give me some ideas." Yifei didn't move, so Yoyo had to discuss with Mika that they couldn't just sit in the hotel room and watch TV all weekend!Meijia tilted her head and thought for a while, since she couldn't get out, she might as well have some fun in the hotel, and suddenly she had an idea: "Go to the SPA!"
Youyou was taken aback: "Huh? If you want to die, you can't die here."
Meijia smiled and said, "I mean go to the spa, full body massage! I heard that the spa in this hotel is very unique. Let's go together, Yifei."
Yifei said lightly: "It's raining today and everyone can't go out. I guess you're not the only ones who can think of this idea. It's boring to queue up. Otherwise, I'll give you a spiritual spa!"
What is soul SPA?Just reading.How good it is to cultivate one's morality and cultivate one's sentiments. "Hey, by the way, let me introduce you a few books, you can..." Yifei took the book and turned around, and the two of them had long since disappeared.
Yoyo and Meijia sneaked into the health care center, and unexpectedly found that the surroundings were empty, except for the front desk manager, there was no one in sight.Meijia couldn't help being proud: "It seems that most people in this world are still stupid than me. Is it what everyone wants to do when it rains?"
Who knew that after hearing the manager's introduction, things were completely different from what they had imagined.Most of the technicians in the beauty and health salon are now on-site, and there is not enough manpower, so they can only make appointments for the time being.There is a North Korean government-sponsored tour group buying a group. They checked the weather forecast and booked most of the seats a few days ago. Now there are more than 300 people in front of Yoyo and Meijia.
Youyou sighed: "That's the Year of the Monkey! Can we make it there alive?"
The manager smiled: "Please wait for a while in the SPA room. If there is any personal accident during the waiting period, you can ask your family to cancel the appointment on your behalf, and we will refund the deposit in full."
Yoyo wanted to back down, but Meijia rolled her eyes and had a new idea. She held Yoyo back and said, "Don't! Let's wait, isn't there only 300 people? Soon." Meijia dragged Yoyo into a spa room and locked the door , then smiled and said to Yoyo: "Did you forget? The purpose of our coming out is not just to massage, but to have fun!"
What's the fun in waiting to stare wide-eyed?Yoyo didn't understand what she said.Meijia explained excitedly: "Isn't it just a SPA? We can DIY! There are everything here, you do it for me, and I do it for you, so we can all have fun?"
Youyou didn't believe it: "You know all this?"
"Have you ever seen a pig running, haven't you eaten pork yet? You are too contemptuous of my wisdom! Lie down quickly! Let me take a look."
Meijia opened the cabinet, compared the Chinese introductions of skin care products, and chose the same one.This snowy essence can moisturize, soothe and repair, even sensitive skin can be used with confidence.This massage milk can moisturize and whiten, effectively penetrate into the bottom layer, clean pores, and soften cuticles.This is even more powerful - Himalayan glacier water, rich in mineral purifying molecules, doubles the absorption effect.
"Well, I'll use this as the base." After collecting a lot of treasures, Meijia started to make the recipe.
Youyou laughed at her: "Base material? Are you eating hot pot?"
Meijia was busy with her hands, and introduced for her: "Isn't DIY SPA similar to hot pot? The key lies in the bottom of the pot... No, is the essential oil right? We use all the ingredients we want, and make a SPA Buddha jumping over the wall. One word - luxury! Then all your skin problems are guaranteed to be solved at once."
It sounds like a lot of fun, once you lay down on the massage table, let the horse come over.Meijia brought a mask bowl and poured all kinds of things into it. There was a small bottle with no Chinese, only a Thai label. Imported products must be more powerful. Meijia poured out the bottle of "sun-free melanin" without thinking. go in.Chen's Invincible Moisturizing, Repairing, Oil Control, Balance, Whitening, Great Health Care, start work!
Two hours later, Meijia came back, and Yifei opened the door for her. Seeing her alone, she asked strangely, "Where's Yoyo?"
Meijia pursed her lips and said, "A little accident happened, you'd better be mentally prepared."
Just as Yifei was about to ask what happened, Yoyo flashed out from behind the door with a dark face, like an African.Yifei turned her head to look at the sky, isn't it raining outside, and it can still make people look like this?Of course, thanks to Mega's amazing bottle of Thai sun-free melanin!In the world, there is a more miraculous service than "blind massage" - illiterate massage!
"Who would have guessed that it's Thai melanin, and it's actually sun-free! ——But the glacier water god horse's is still very good, look, the skin is much smoother." Meijia came to Yoyo to say good things, Yoyo She rolled her eyes angrily: "Also, if it wasn't for those skin care products that opened up my pores to double the absorption, I wouldn't have turned black like this in two hours!"
So what should I do, can I come back in vain?They are going to get their certificates next week, how can Hei Cheng take wedding photos like this?I heard that eating more coconut can whiten skin, but is it too late to eat it now?
Meijia knew she was wrong, so she pestered Youyou and acted coquettishly: "Don't be angry, Yoyo, why don't I treat you to dinner. You see, this hotel has special features besides the spa, and the Hainan-style seafood dishes are also very good. Feel free to eat , I'll pay the bill, and I'll pay you for it."
"You said that!" Thinking of her own face, Yoyo couldn't help but sigh again, "—let's order takeaway. I thought it was just that I couldn't get out of the hotel, but now I can't even get out of the room. I don't want to see anyone anymore."
Yifei glanced at the advertisement in Meijia's hand, and suddenly exclaimed: "Don't order takeaway! We're going now. There's a hula performance now! Come and see this person, doesn't he look familiar?"
Passion like fire - Sanya folk hula dance performance.Special presentation: Naumi Dance Troupe.Lead dancer - Zeng Xiaoxian? !The large color photo on the advertisement attracted the attention of three people. The lead dancer in the hula skirt looked exactly like Zeng Xiaoxian!
The world is big, full of surprises, and the permutation and combination of genetic aptitude is always the same. As the population increases, the probability of duplication also increases.Therefore, we often see a lot of face collisions in our lives, which we call "face collision monsters".In the previous stories, there have been two face-to-face incidents in the love apartment. They are the brain-dead Lu Ziqiao in the Malaysian painter's version and the tender Zhang Yida in Erkang's version seen on TV.Today, we finally witnessed the grand debut of the third "face bumper" - the gigolo version of Zeng Xiaoxian!
On the small stage of the hotel, the hula dancer Ah Xibian came out playing the tambourine. If it weren't for the mustache on his face, the three of them really thought it was Zeng Xiaoxian who had come out to play tricks. Surprised, they all took pictures to commemorate it.As if she had a special relationship with Yifei, Asi danced and came to Yifei, gave her a durian, and put a garland around her neck.Yifei was very pleasantly surprised, her eyes were shining when she looked at Asi, and the whole hula performance was screaming and laughing, how could she still look like the nerd before?
4
Boys' weekend, Maggie and Tracy are already the sixth batch of Sailor Moons who visited the iPartment.As soon as he entered, the house was in a mess, and there was a strange smell all around.Guan Gu and Zeng Xiaoxian huddled in the corner of the room to play games, and took the time to say hello to them.
Maggie looked around and asked suspiciously: "Is this place not renovated, or is it going to be demolished?"
Ziqiao smiled and said, "The theme of today's bachelor party is—treasure hunting in a chaotic room!" Seeing Tracy slipped and fell, she hurried over to help her up, and picked up the banana peel: "Don't ignore every small clue. Banana peel lottery."
Zhang Wei came out of the kitchen, carrying a large bowl of instant noodles - a self-service dish specially prepared by Guan Gu, instant noodles 2.0 - soaked with Banlangen!In Guan Gu's words, this is called "medicinal diet", which is a new discovery after he came to China.It turns out that Chinese people can also use traditional Chinese medicines such as ginseng and caterpillar fungus to cook. He was very inspired and created this special dish.It's a pity that Yoyo has been swearing against it to the death.Today's singles weekend, the ban can finally be lifted!
"A friend came from afar, you should make it up first, dear..." Zhang Wei handed the dark food to the two beauties, who looked at the dark things in the basin and couldn't help feeling sick.Guan Gu also warmly greeted: "It's very nutritious, if you don't believe me, I'll show you!" The noodles were disgusting and Guan Gu's food looks horrible, the girl ran away.Or there are only four boring men left.
A group of beauties come to scare away a group, is it because of poor hospitality?Zeng Xiaoxian yelled boredly: "Help, is it possible that the legendary single weekend is here to guard the ruins and eat instant noodles?"
As the commander-in-chief, Zi Qiao certainly wouldn't let this kind of thing happen. If the beauty doesn't want to come, then I have no choice but to go out and look for it!Not long after, Zi Qiao brought a few people to the nightclub, the sound of rumbling music, graffiti on the walls, and flickering lights, it was a scene of luxury and luxury. After much preparation and preparation, the single weekend in Zi Qiao's mind finally began!
When everyone goes in, the guard will tap a fluorescent stamp on the back of his hand.Zhang Wei felt strange, and asked in a low voice, "What is this for? Is the pork passed the inspection?" Zeng Xiaoxian told him that it was a nightclub ticket, and it would glow after entering.So cool?Zhang Wei was naturally looking forward to it.
Guan Gu, Zi Qiao, and Zeng Xiaoxian all tapped their stamps to go in, but when it was Zhang Wei's turn, he suddenly protested, "You've tapped dozens of times, and I've faded away. Anyway, I paid the money too, respect How about a little bit, or how about dipping some ink pad first?"
The doorman gave him a cold look, spat on the seal, and pushed him hard, pushing him in.
Within a few minutes of entering the door, Zhang Wei grabbed Zi Qiao's clothes from behind and whispered, "Zi Qiao, I feel a little weird." Zeng Xiaoxian comforted him, nightclubs are so noisy, just get used to it!A few minutes later, Zhang Wei said that his throat was a little uncomfortable, and Ziqiao scolded him angrily: "Who made you eat so many Banlangen instant noodles, you're choking on it."
"It's not the esophagus, it's the trachea, and—my hand seems to be wrong." Zhang Wei raised his hand, and the entire palm turned green!It might be the fluorescent stamp, or it might be the guard's saliva, anyway, Zhang Wei was really allergic, and he collapsed on the ground after a while.
Ambulance, hospital, first aid, busy tossing all night, several people were so tired that they were about to lie down.
The next day, Guan Gu was the first to wake up, and found that the room was very tidy. Could it be that Miss Conch has been here?Zhang Wei's hand was still bandaged, and it was swollen like a big steamed bun. Naturally, he couldn't tidy it up.Ziqiao did say that he was going to clean up, but it wasn't the room—it was Zhang Wei, who said he ruined the ultimate nightclub plan.Teacher Zeng worked night shift and still hasn't come back, so it's even more impossible.
Just as she was guessing, Zi Qiao came out and announced, "Lilian has prepared pineapple buns and hot soy milk, eat them while they are hot."
Pineapple buns are good, but who is Lilian?
It turned out that Zi Qiao saw that there was not even a piece of soap at home yesterday, so she went to the supermarket and happened to meet Lilian who was selling bath products.The two chatted happily, and learned that Lilian was a graduate student in the Department of Economics and Management of Dongfang University, and was doing vacation practice. They had an idea and invited her to come to the apartment to be their temporary housekeeper for a few days.In return, Ziqiao bought a basket of shower gel, which wiped out her half-month target in one go.
Ziqiao is still introducing Lilian: "She is definitely professional! I have interviewed, she has been in the dance troupe since high school, and has won the runner-up of Miss Swimsuit twice. She is good at playing, playing and singing, and her figure is 34, 23..."
Guan Gu interrupted him: "Are you talking about the profession of nanny?"
Ziqiao disagreed: "Isn't it just some housework? Mika can do it, and any young girl with an average IQ must be able to do it. What's more, Lilian has a rare affinity."
Guan Gu rolled his eyes at him: "If you think you are a beautiful woman, you will have an affinity for you."
Just as he was talking, Lilian walked into the living room with his bag on his back and said hello politely: "Gentlemen, breakfast is ready. These two should be Mr. Guan Gu and Mr. Zhang Wei. I am Lilian, please take care of me."
The two felt their eyes brightened, and they couldn't help getting up and shaking hands with her to say hello. "I don't have enough toilet paper. I went out and bought some." As he spoke, Lilian untied his hair and tossed it back and forth a few times. The smooth strands of hair swept across the hearts of Guan Gu and Zhang Wei like pieces of small feathers. Everyone is stunned, it really is very friendly!
5
Ever since meeting the gigolo version of Zeng Xiaoxian, Yifei has been completely overjoyed. She takes Yoyo and Meijia to watch the hula dance every day, and almost makes an appointment at the restaurant.It happened that Asi didn't have to perform on that day, so Yifei actually brought him out and introduced him to Yoyo and Mika.
Compared with Zeng Xiaoxian, Asibian is indeed very masculine, with dark skin and a fit body, not to mention eight-pack abs and electric buttocks.Not only has Zeng Xiaoxian's appearance, but also has the masculine charm that Yifei admires, passionate, humorous, is it possible that Yifei is really interested in this hula dancer?
Asibian's grandfather is a Tujia nationality, his grandmother is a Monba nationality, his father grew up in the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, and his mother is of Hawaiian Chinese descent, so he can speak more than ten languages, except for Mandarin.But even so, Yifei still had a very happy "chat" with him.Any joke that Asi said, even if Meijia and Yoyo couldn't understand a single word, she could laugh so hard that she almost lost her temper.In her words, you don't need to understand it, it's quite interesting just thinking about it.
Meijia and Yoyo looked at each other, wondering what kind of evil Yifei had fallen into. She actually braved the wind and rain to accompany Axi to pick durians outside.The so-called calm like a virgin, moving like a mad rabbit, is nothing more than this.
If it was the release of the suppressed energy from reading some time ago, then her performance was too extreme.I was still bored yesterday, but I got high when I saw Asi.Moreover, with the same face, why did she feel like she had been beaten when she saw that Teacher Zeng was not interested, but when she saw this Asi?
Meijia’s analysis: “I’ve seen it on the discovery channel. It’s called ‘freshness obsession’. People tend to be highly excited when they encounter familiar and new things. Adding visual or olfactory stimulation will occasionally make people Create imaginary hallucinations, and then have an inexplicable affection for the things in front of you."
Youyou half understood: "You mean, in Yifei's eyes, that Axi is Teacher Zeng?"
Meijia nodded: "Of course, so she is the only one who can understand those jokes. Teacher Zeng's Yifei has long been tired of it, and now I just met someone who is similar but opposite, and the freshness has come. The pistachio is also the same. Fresh is good."
Youyou suddenly realized: "There is still this theory! Then... what are the consequences of this novelty obsession?"
Meijia thought for a while, and then said: "There was a case in that episode: Once upon a time, there was a widow from the city who went to work with three farmers. These three farmers had never seen the world, so they felt very fresh... "
Meijia never expected that the story she told here would actually be staged on the boy's side.
First is Guan Gu. Lilian followed the gourmet program to make a pot of preserved egg porridge, sent it to Guan Gu to taste, and walked into his studio.But we all know that Mr. Guan Gu cherishes the studio even more than his bed, so how could it be possible to eat in the studio? Lilian was so frightened by his attack that his hands softened, and a pot of porridge was knocked over on the drawing. While squatting down to wipe, he said aggrievedly: "I don't know about the first day of work..."
As soon as she stood up, she flicked her hair from front to back, that strange "affinity" appeared again, Guan Gu suddenly felt no anger, took the pot of porridge, and started to eat it, boasting: " It smells so good!"
In the hotel, Yoyo asked the story with a dark face: "That sad farmer thought he saw a fairy?"
Meijia continued: "Not only that, another farmer also felt that the fairy was tempting her."
Zi Qiao walked into the room: "Lilian, I'll just let you wash the sheets, why buy new ones?"
"Because I think your sheets... don't match the color of your slippers." Lilian replied hesitantly.
Ziqiao complained: "You have taken too much care. I have used it for several years."
"Trust me, I think it should match this color better." Saying this, Lilian pulled out her pink bra.
Ziqiao understood, and the corners of her eyes flickered: "Woo...are you implying me?"
"Ah? No." Lilian shook his head.In Ziqiao's eyes, it was she who was shaking her hair charmingly, seducing him.
Meijia's story continues: "It's not over, the hallucinations of the third farmer are even more outrageous..."
Zhang Wei stretched out his swollen hand in front of Lilian, and said deeply, "Lilian, since you've come to our house, I can't hide something from you. Let's see what it is?"
Lilian replied honestly, "One hand - but it seems a little swollen. They say you have allergies."
Zhang Wei said contemptuously: "What do they know, what is swollen, what is called - strong! Today, after I removed the gauze, my whole hand felt warm. It seems that there is a magical power swimming in the palm. Listen Is it a blessing in disguise? God gave me this powerful hand to let me get rid of violence—now, do you suddenly feel that I am very different from those ordinary men?"
But a larger volume does not necessarily mean infinite strength, does it?Seeing that Lilian didn't believe it, Zhang Weifa said harshly: "Look! Can ordinary people flatten this soda can with one palm?"
Lilian hurriedly stopped him: "Don't! You'll get hurt." In Zhang Wei's eyes, Lilian was shaking her long hair charmingly, and couldn't help but stare blankly again.
Guan Gu and Zi Qiao also came in, one asked Lilian for porridge, one wanted to invite Lilian to watch the performance, and the other wanted to take Lilian out to buy bed sheets and have another drink on the way.After a few words, the three of them quarreled.
Zhang Wei shouted: "Line in line! I made an appointment with Lilian first." Seeing that Guan Gu and Zi Qiao ignored him, they swung their palms and slapped the cans on the table. He really smashed the cans.
Guan Gu ridiculed him: "The rich rely on technology, the poor rely on mutation, and you rely on allergies?"
The three glared at each other, and the room was full of swords.
In the hotel, Yoyo was still listening to the story in a trance: "Then, the three peasants fought? Do you think they were fascinated by the widow's scent?"
Meijia explained: "They feel that this fresh taste is the legendary femininity."
Youyou nodded: "I understand, no wonder Yifei said that she thinks Axibian has a manly smell...it seems to be quite heavy, but it smells like durian."
6
By the time Zeng Xiaoxian came back from get off work, a world war had already broken out.The trio was nerfing again, shooting from behind cover, and talking things he couldn't understand.
Guan Gu: "This time we are going to fight to the death."
Zi Qiao: "The true nature is finally exposed. I'll tell my little aunt!"
Guan Gu: "I just want to eat a bowl of preserved egg porridge."
Zhang Wei: "You guys scared Lilian away, I'll fight with you all the time, it's kind of a one-on-one fight, I'll slap you to death!"
Zeng Xiaoxian sniffed and smelled around: "What's the smell?" Followed the smell to the kitchen, and when he came out, he cursed: "Damn, the gas hasn't been turned off, can't you smell it? Fortunately, it was not turned on too much, otherwise you would have died. La!"
The three of them finally had a truce, and recalled carefully together. It seems that only Lilian has used gas since morning, but how could she make such a low-level mistake?When Zeng Xiaoxian heard that the three of them were fighting over a nanny just now, he couldn't help shaking his head, why did these three guys do such a bad thing when Brother Xian was away for a while!
Huh?Why are there so many bubbles in this pot? Lilian's preserved egg porridge?There is a bag of washing powder next to it. Obviously she put the washing powder in it as salt.You can’t even eat the porridge with washing powder, are you hallucinating?Zeng Xiaoxian came to a conclusion while inspecting the room.
Zhang Wei was not convinced, and retorted: "Nonsense, my hand has indeed grown bigger. Now that I am awake, it is still so big."
"Who said that? It's obviously bigger than before." Ziqiao said gloatingly.Zhang Wei looked at the crushed soda can and at his own hands, and suddenly screamed and rolled over in pain.
"Help, the toilet is full of rubbish! And this!" Originally, he wanted to go to the toilet to spit out the laundry powder and preserved egg porridge. Looking at the rubbish all over the floor, Guan Gu rushed out again, holding a broken one in his hand. Garbage bags and a bed sheet stained with soy sauce.The porridge made with washing powder is probably the bed sheets washed with soy sauce.
Zhang Wei's hands hurt badly, and he wanted to find ice for a cold compress, but when he opened the refrigerator door, garbage poured out...
In fact, Lilian doesn't know how to do housework at all, and he doesn't have a soul-stirring affinity. It's probably the gas leak and a little hormonal stimulation that fascinated several people.
It's so weak to spend a good single weekend like this.Facts have proved that some people can never be replaced, and the single life can't last a minute, but the girls will come back tomorrow, and several people gather together and sigh.Guan Gu thinks of Yoyo, Ziqiao thinks of Meijia, Zhang Wei thinks of... Mom...
How can this end?Guan Gu stood up suddenly and announced his decision, he was going to Sanya to find Yoyo!Zhang Wei and Ziqiao responded immediately, only Zeng Xiaoxian couldn't go because he wanted to broadcast live at night.It's better to give them a surprise than to get moldy here, it's such a happy decision!
The moment he saw Yoyo, Guan Gu was really startled, not only him, even Ziqiao and Zhang Wei were so frightened that they oopsed and almost ran away.Youyou asked: "Guan Gu, why are you here?" Guan Gu asked: "Yuyou, why are you burnt?"
The representatives of the two sides complained to each other about the situation, which is really hard to describe. In short, there are three things to remember when traveling in Hainan: moisture-proof, sun-proof, and anti-mega.There are three things to keep in mind when staying at home: fire prevention, theft prevention, and Ziqiao prevention.These are not the point, the point is, I miss you very much, don't you come here all right?
Guan Gu and Yoyo hugged each other, Zhang Wei and Zi Qiao approached Mika for a hug, but Mika glared at her, wanting to hug Yifei, but afraid of her flick, but the feeling of loneliness could not be resolved, both of them Hugging Guan Gu and Yoyo, choked up, almost crying.
Yifei suddenly asked: "Just the three of you here? Where is Zeng Xiaoxian? I want to introduce him to a brother who has been lost for many years." Yoyo then explained that Yifei met a person who looked very similar to Teacher Zeng here. .
Yifei went out to find Asi, and everyone planned how to spend the last night of the single weekend. As a result, a group of people sat in the room and played flying chess.The single night is to play flying chess, it seems that Mr. Zeng is right not to come, he really has the foresight.
As soon as the door opened, "Zeng Xiaoxian" came in with two durians. Ziqiao and Zhang Wei were dumbfounded. Why did he come? And why are you dressed up in such a strange way?
Youyou smiled and said: "You guys are mistaken, as soon as you smell the durian smell, you will know that he is not Teacher Zeng!"
Yifei came out from behind Ah Xibian, and introduced grandly: "This is the treasure I found in Sanya, the beach gigolo version of Zeng Xiaoxian—who was nicknamed the Hula Little Prince—A Xibian!"
Zhang Wei exclaimed: "Oh my god! It's exactly the same!" Zi Qiao shook her head and said, "Impossible, it must be Teacher Zeng pretending, there must be fraud." Guan Gu simply picked up his mobile phone and wanted to call Zeng Xiaoxian to confirm.
Yifei waved his hand: "No need. It's too untechnical to make a phone call. I have a simpler and more direct way to identify it! When I watched Asi picking durians in the afternoon, I discovered his third extraordinary stunt!"
Asi understood what she said, and put a durian on the table. Fortunately, with a loud drink, the durian was split open with bare hands.Everyone screamed, oh my god!Split durian with bare hands!Now I can believe it, this guy can't be Zeng Xiaoxian!
Asi whispered a series of words, and Yifei translated: "This durian is a gift from me for you and Guan Gu! Guan Gu, Yoyo, I wish you a happy license, as sweet as this durian!" Guan Gu, Yoyo thanked you again and again.
Asi still had a performance, so he couldn't accompany everyone, so Yifei followed him out to cheer him on, and left too.Seeing their leaving backs, Youyou couldn't help sighing: "Oh, compared to him, Teacher Zeng's charm is really weak."
Turning around and looking back, Ziqiao actually ate up the whole durian by himself, and even made an excuse that he couldn't stand the smell, so he had to get rid of it quickly.
"This is a gift from Yifei to Guan Gu and Youyou!" Meijia was the first to disagree, "Although the fruit is not worth much, at least it is their heart. It's not like you, who only complain when you eat it."
Zi Qiao argued: "Did you say that there is a gift-giving session in the singles night before? - But! Who said I don't have any gifts?" As he spoke, he took out a large gift box with a bow tie from the box.Guan Gu shook the box, stopped, and said to Yoyo: "Got it, shower gel. He bought a lot yesterday, and he is worried that he won't be able to use it up!"
Ziqiao smiled triumphantly: "When you officially set up the wine, there will be gifts too!" It seems that Guan Gu and Youyou's family will never be short of shower gel in the future, but how can there be shower gel for single nights?Ziqiao didn't care about that, and leaned towards the two of them with a stern face: "I wish my little aunt and Guan Gu to change their minds and start a new life! No, it's all washed out, and the beauty is too great."
If you can break it, just accept it as a blessing.
Zhang Wei leaned over and took out a small ticket from his jacket pocket eagerly: "I was too hasty when I came here, and I didn't bring anything... It was the only invoice I got for a prize. The eight-year amulet, I will give it to you."
"How embarrassing is this!" Guan Gu took the receipt and looked at the winning column, it turned out to be another scratch?Could it be a fake invoice?
"Aren't other invoices like this?" Zhang Wei asked blankly, everyone shook their heads, and he had to take out two fifty cents coins from his pocket, "Okay, then I really have nothing else, how about I give you this , I wish you will always be together and get together!"
The words were beautiful, and Yoyo was very happy to hear that.
Mika was left with a look of embarrassment on her face, and said awkwardly: "Yuyou, Guan Gu, I really don't seem to have prepared anything..."
Zi Qiao satirized her beside her: "You have already gifted my little aunt with dark and beautiful skin. What a gift!"
"I know that I can't make up for the harm done to you by giving me anything, so I think... I will give you the right to slap Ziqiao." Meijia gave Ziqiao a sideways look, and then said, "He owed me ten Tathagatas back then. God's palm, I have used a few in recent years, and there are probably several more. I am at a loss, even if it is five, I will give you all, I wish you a life after obtaining the certificate-crackling, crisp Loud."
Although the algorithm is a bit incomprehensible, the logic seems to be okay, Yoyo and Guan Gu readily accept it.
Zi Qiao was anxious: "Wait, who said you can give it as a gift?"
Meijia crossed her hips, not afraid of his messing around: "The rules of the world, you can't resist, you can't fight back, did you say you can't give it away?"
Ziqiao took advantage of the loophole: "The premise is that the slap notary must be present. Zhanbo is not here now, so... it is illegal for you to do this!"
A few minutes later, during the video call: "Hi, I am saving penguins in the North Pole now. Guan Gu, Yoyo, I didn't know you were going to get your license soon, so I don't have anything to give you, sorry. Since Meijia said that I will give it once Witness, I have no objection to giving Guan Gu the Tathagata palm that Ziqiao owed her. This witnessing ceremony is considered my blessing to you! I wish you two lives like these slaps, as powerful as a broken bamboo, and happy and happy!"
Sure enough, he is a scholar, and he is sharper than Meijia when he speaks idioms.
Seeing that the momentum was not right, Zi Qiao tried to persuade her to retreat: "Calm down, Guan Gu, slapping is worthless. If you want it, it's really useless."
Meijia pretended to agree with his point of view: "You're right - you have to try it to know if it works. Guan Gu, why don't you try it out and test the feel?"
"That's it—" Guan Gu was thinking, and suddenly slapped Ziqiao with his backhand, and Ziqiao fell to the ground.
Guan Gu grinned grimly and said, "Someone seems to have said: Joy alone is worse than joy together. Epilepsy is worse than being insane. There are five more, right? Why don't we all join together?"
Zi Qiao refused to accept it, she just hit one, why are there still five?Meijia said that it was a trial draw, but it didn’t count!Yoyo felt that since tonight is boring anyway, this show should be good!Zhang Wei raised his swollen hand, feeling full of strength again.
"That's it! Tonight, before 12 o'clock tonight, one person and one person, all of them will be lit up, everyone can play freely!" Guan Gu gave an order, and Ziqiao ran away from the door.
Zi Qiao hid in the men's room, Guan Gu came out from the toilet cubicle, and slapped him across the face.Zi Qiao hid in the lobby, Yoyo came out from behind, patted him, and slapped him.Ziqiao fled to the elevator, closed the door, Meijia came in, the elevator door opened, Ziqiao fell to the ground, Meijia got out, and finished another slap.Ziqiao hid in the women's toilet, Zhang Wei appeared from behind, and slapped her face with her swollen hand!After the beating, I covered my hands and jumped up and cried out that my feet hurt.
7
The next day, it rained and the sky cleared.Yoyo and Meijia got out of the quilt, discussing in a daze whether they drank too much last night, a green swollen hand stretched out from under the bed, and the two screamed in fright.
"It's me." Zhang Wei got up from under the bed and looked at his hands, "Last night, I used too much force, and it seems to have deteriorated...it's greener..."
There was a moaning sound from the bathroom, and everyone walked into the bathroom following the sound, and saw Zi Qiao lying in the bathtub with palm marks all over his face.Zhang Wei counted his palms excitedly: "1234, wow, the biggest one is mine."
Seeing them coming in, Zi Qiao panicked, suddenly felt overwhelmed, and begged for mercy: "Please, hit me, I'll be free if there's only one left."
It was the first time I heard such a cheap request.It was agreed that one person would be one, and now there is only one Fei who has not fought.Thinking of Yifei's flicking skills, Ziqiao was shocked and shouted: "No! You can't call her." But this is Sanya, and there is no other acquaintance except her, unless there is Asibian!Thinking of Ah Xibian's kung fu of chopping durians with his bare hands, Zi Qiao almost lost his temper.
Meijia smiled and said to him: "It won't be so cheap for you. Guan Gu gave me back the last slap right last night. I plan to save it and draw it at a certain time. Yesterday Guan Gu announced that before 12 o'clock When let's use the slap, I observed that Ziqiao's fear was completely different from before. Only then did I realize that I had never fully comprehended the essence of Tathagata's palm before, casually The surprise attack is fun, but it's too much for him. But if I tell him a certain time, a certain place, and my slap will come as promised, it's a completely different feeling."
Youyou suddenly realized: "Oh! It's like being hit to death by a car suddenly is different from the suffering before being sent to the execution ground."
Meijia gave her a compliment: "Bingo, because the pain will be accompanied by fear, travel through time and space, and fall on your face in advance; and this depressive feeling will last for a long, long time!"
Youyou smiled and said: "Then let's make an appointment at my wedding with Guan Gu, so that he won't have any thoughts of picking up girls on the plane that day. We will be completely safe!"
Ziqiao wanted to die, and said in his mouth: "It's too evil, you are simply devils! Devils!" jumped out of the bathtub and fled.
"Honey, I'm back!" Guan Gu came in from the outside with a dark face, even better than Yoyo, and asked triumphantly: "This is a gift from me, do you like it? My dear, although I can't bring you back to normal immediately, but this is the fastest way I can think of to make you look whiter. So, I went to a spa and used that bottle of melanin."
Yoyo was so moved that tears flowed down her face.It was so romantic that Mika felt like she was going to cry.Zhang Wei wiped his tears and said, "Me too! It's only been a weekend, and I'm no longer the blackest one in the iPartment in an instant! And the ranking has risen to fifth."
Youyou looked at Guan Gu's face and asked, "No, Guan Guan, how much melanin did you put? Why is the color darker than mine?"
Guan Gu replied with a smile: "I did it on purpose. I love you deeper, and of course my color is deeper than yours."
Youyou acted like a baby: "Why? Obviously I love you more than you love me."
Guan Gu pretended to be angry and puffed up his mouth: "Impossible, I'm already full."
"Cut! You're full, and I'm overflowing." "No, I'm deep!" "No, I'm deep."...
You two are so nasty, do you consider the feelings of the bystanders?Meijia and Zhang Wei vomited and ran out.
Yifei was waiting alone in the restaurant, and the host on the stage announced: "Gentlemen and ladies, the next hot hula performance is the chief dancer of our Umi dance troupe - Mr. Asibian specially gave it to his friend ——Ms. Hu Yifei. Ms. Hu is leaving Sanya today. Mr. Asibian wishes her a smooth journey, and we will see you soon!"
Applause sounded, Zeng Xiaoxian walked in from the outside and sat beside Yifei.Yifei originally thought it was A Xibian who stepped down to interact, but after a closer look, he found out that it was Zeng Xiaoxian. Why did he come?
Zeng Xiaoxian put his face on his face, and smiled at Yifei: "Guangu called me last night, saying that you found my face bumper in Sanya, and you were fascinated by it. So I bought it in the morning. The first flight ticket came to see and see. See how tempting my face is to you. You can pretend at home, but you can finally release it here."
Of course, Zeng Xiaoxian's purpose was actually to see if the guy who looked like him did anything wrong with Yifei in his own name!
Yifei made a look of vomiting: "I'm sorry, Asi is good at everything, but this face is his biggest flaw-look! He's on the stage!"
On the stage, Asi appeared on the stage. Zeng Xiaoxian looked at him, as if looking at himself in the mirror. Yifei blew a kiss, and was startled when she saw Zeng Xiaoxian, staggered and almost fell.
Yifei squinted at Zeng Xiaoxian, and when he looked at Asi again, he felt that his face was glowing, and praised him sincerely: "Now you are convinced. Look at how manly he is! Mr. Boring." Zeng Xiaoxian said stiffly: "What's the big deal, isn't it just twisting your waist and shaking your butt? I can take the stage instead!"
"You should learn to eat some durians first." Yifei pushed a plate of durians, and Zeng Xiaoxian ran away pinching his nose.
(End of this chapter)
1
A big event is about to happen in iPartment - Yoyo and Guan Gu decided to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau next Tuesday to get a certificate!This is not to blame for the two of them procrastinating. It is really that the folk customs and customs of the two countries are too different, and the zodiac calculations are different. It is really not easy to make a day that is auspicious for both sides.This also means that this weekend is Yoyo and Guan Gu's last single weekend.
Ziqiao said that it has been a custom for thousands of years that men and women before marriage will be divided into two groups, and each will let go of the last madness. They must party, must be beautiful, and be fully high. A marriage without a single weekend is an unhealthy marriage.Yoyo and Guan Gu said that soft landing is popular now, not so pretentious, not to mention that Ziqiao lost the bet that time and lost the right to host the singles night long ago, so this weekend should be the same as usual, what to do.
Yoyo: That's right, don't hold parties, don't take planes, you should give up on it.
The two sides insisted on their own opinions, couldn't agree on what to do, and couldn't argue for a reason, until another big event happened in the apartment!
Yoyo and Meijia went to buy Bingrui yesterday and won the "one more bottle"!When they went to exchange for a free drink, the supermarket happened to be out of stock, and the supermarket staff asked them to pick up an equivalent item, and they took a bottle of Lux shower gel.Unexpectedly, after opening the package, I found that I won another 3000 bonus points from Jingdong Mall.Then the two of them used their points to exchange a lot of Natto's skin care products.If there is only a little skin care product, then it is not surprising. Coincidentally, there is a facial mask in a lottery draw. I scratched off the lottery card and saw a line of words - free two-day stay at the Crowne Plaza Hotel!Location: Hainan, Sanya!
A series of small-probability events together illustrate a truth, that is, it is simply not allowed to celebrate the weekend of singles!After confirmation, there are exactly three places for the grand prize hotel check-in project. Yoyo and Meijia decided on the spot to organize a special trip to Hainan for ladies, leave a group of stinky men at home, and let women's exclusive beauty fly in the blue sky, white clouds, blue sea and golden sands!
Such cruelty, indifference, and inconsistency, of course the male compatriots disagree!Pure men's weekends, without the restrictions of mother-in-law and mother-in-law and the blah blah blah, the world belongs to the men's gang. I really can't agree with it!So Ziqiao, Zeng Xiaoxian and the others reluctantly bid farewell on the surface, and they kept trying to keep them, and they were already happy in their hearts.Even if Guan Gu is really reluctant to part with Yoyo, he has no choice but to follow the trend and join their "degenerate" ranks.
The only difficulty lies in Yifei.Since the department arranged for her to take the professional title examination last week, she memorized four books and wrote six papers a week.After the professional title exam, Yifei seemed to be a different person. She always said that the noise in the world is just clouds, and the tranquility in the book is eternal. She also said that she had a new understanding of life.I stopped chatting, gossip, and went out to play. I read books all day long, shut myself in my own little world, and cut off from the outside world.
Zeng Xiaoxian was afraid that she would be stupid and turn into a nerd by studying like this, so he tried every means to make her happy, but all had little effect.Invite her to try your skills at the X-Room Escape Room Club. She said that the escape room is the most boring. There is a door and you are not allowed to leave. If you have to find clues, you are just taking off your pants and farting.Invite her to sing K at Melody, record the songs by the way, and release a duo album. She said that the kind of narcissistic pediatrics, she didn't catch a cold five years ago.Even Zeng Xiaoxian's trump card and Bailing's eyebrow dance, Yifei didn't bother to look at him, saying that he was childish, ignorant, and boring.
Zhang Wei analyzed that this is because Yifei has been in a high-pressure state for a long time, so she can't get out for a while, which is normal. This is Newton's theorem of inertia.Women are made of water. It takes a process to go from a clear mirror with still water to turbulent waves. It is useless for others to meddle in their own business, unless she suddenly awakens herself and walks out of this state.
Of course, when Yoyo and Meijia urged her to go to Hainan to celebrate the singles weekend with them, Yifei still felt bored.Let the two of them try their best to describe how beautiful Sanya is: blue sky and white clouds, shadows of coconut groves, clear water and white sand, three beauties basking in the sun and playing in the water together, catching crabs and digging holes, and a group of The handsome guy chased after them and helped them put on sunscreen... Yifei still didn't find anything particularly interesting.
Temptation is not enough, so I have to make people feel disgusted and practice Dafa.Meijia said: "Just imagine, if you don't go with us, you will be the only girl left in the apartment on weekends. Do you want to play with those boys? Even if you don't play with them, you are afraid that they will disturb you later. You, especially Mr. Zeng, he heard that you are living in an old house recently and are planning a package of new programs to entertain you."
When Zeng Xiaoxian was mentioned, Yifei naturally sneered: "Come on, all he has is a few old jokes and that ridiculous eyebrow dance, he's so boring."
Meijia said: "I saw that he was already rehearsing an upgraded version of the eyebrow dance just now. This time it's not the eyebrows - it's dancing with the eyelids. Imagine, the lower eyelids..."
Yifei seemed to see a pot of expired pistachios, shivering and shivering.now it's right!Meijia laughed secretly, and continued to persuade: "Yifei, do you know what the most boring thing is? It's a person who thinks he's funny trying to make you laugh. Think about it."
After weighing the pros and cons, Yifei finally asked: "When is the plane?" Yoyo replied: "Tomorrow morning."
Then, let's go!
But when he arrived at the hotel, Yifei returned to "normal" and stayed in the room to read a book.She came all the way to Sanya, and she actually memorized a whole box of books, besides "A Brief History of Time" which she reads every day these days, there are also its sequels - the second "A Brief History of Space", the third "A Brief History of the World". "History", and there is also a biography, "A Brief History of Shengjian".
Probably God rewards hard work, and even God is on Yifei's side. The weather was good, but less than an hour after they landed, it started to rain heavily.Yoyo and Meijia had prepared their swimsuits and beach towels, and were just waiting for La Yifei to go out to bask in the sun, catch crabs, and enjoy themselves, but now they just stared at each other in the room.Turn on the TV, and the news is broadcasting: Affected by Tropical Cyclone No. 38 "Dragon Knight", the heavy rain will continue to affect the city. Experts predict that the rainfall may continue to increase in the next two days.Do not approach the beach until the red flag warning is lifted, pay attention to safety.
Youyou sighed: "We abandoned Guan Gu and came all the way to enjoy the rain. They will laugh at us to death."
Meijia also looked aggrieved, and began to think about those stupid and ugly men, and wondered what they were playing at the moment?
2
This is what it feels like to suddenly lose a woman at home. All the soap and shampoo in the toilet are taken away in an instant, and there is not even a piece of toilet paper left.When I woke up early in the morning, the old men were wilted and sighed. The girls had just left, and life was going to be unbearable.
As the only leader of the men's gang, Ziqiao ordered everyone to cheer up, assuming that these women never existed, would everyone really be dead?What's more, he had a plan long ago: "I invited all unmarried women of the right age in the whole community to our party, and removed those who were crooked, and then removed those who had hatred against me. I roughly divided them into several categories: Lolita, Yujie, Hamei, mature women, you can divide into groups at that time..."
The stubborn Guan Gu reiterated: "There will be no parties or strange girls this weekend. Even if Yoyo betrays me, I will cleanse myself, OK? I will never accompany you to do anything out of the ordinary!"
Zi Qiao persuaded him earnestly: "Guan Gu, your life is about to enter the grave, I will not hold you back. But you must know that even if the world is destroyed, there will be a time when the light will return, and the darkness will highlight the value of the light. Ask you In your heart, what are the thoughts that you have always wanted to do but never put into action? Just do it! If you say no, just pretend that I am talking. After 48 hours, these thoughts will be completely buried with your freedom, rest assured Be a good baby for my little aunt."
Hearing what he said, Guan Gu suddenly remembered something, Yoyo once made a list of strict prohibitions for him, now this moment of doing whatever he wants, isn't it just a good time to execute the list?But the condition is that the things on that list don't need beauties, just a few of them are enough.
It is impossible to see that there is such a wild heart hidden behind Guan Gu's gentle appearance.After a while, Guan Gu found out a long list, saying that these were all "men's games" that he had always wanted to play, but Yoyo said that considering the civilization of the neighborhood and the safety of humans and animals, he shot all these ideas to death.If you don't play now, when will you wait?
The first men's game, indoor polo.
Everybody, suit up!Single weekend, let's go!
Zeng Xiaoxian, Guan Gu, and Ziqiao were dressed in polo clothes, each riding a bicycle, with a broom in their hand, and a balloon on the ground. "Cues" are everywhere, and all the items in the room are crooked, vases, coffee pots, tea tables, chairs, sofas... It's just a big destruction!Zhang Wei just watched and couldn't help shouting "too violent, too violent"!
Zeng Xiaoxian squinted at him: "Or what do you think? That's why Yoyo blocked this project!"
The second game for men, nerf CS!
The door opened, and a string of nerf bullets flew in. Zeng Xiaoxian appeared with a nerf gun in his hand, reminding his teammates: "Zone B, clear!"
Guan Gu suddenly flashed out from behind the door, laughing: "It's too early to talk!" Xiaoxian lay down, and the two fell behind the sofa, using the sofa as a cover, and shot each other, Zeng Xiaoxian was shot and fell to the ground.
"Ha! Whoever laughs last laughs the best!" Zi Qiao suddenly appeared behind Guan Gu, pointed a gun to the back of his head, and proudly announced: "Say your last words."
Guan Gu raised his hand to surrender, and suddenly pointed out the window: "Look, the flying saucer!" While Zi Qiao was distracted, Guan Gu rolled to the ground, and Zi Qiao shot at each other, and both of them shot out of bullets at the same time.Seeing that there was a gun next to Xiaoxian's body, the two flew to grab it, and Guan Gu snatched it: "I'm sorry—your hands are too short." A shot was fired, and Zi Qiao fell to the ground and died.
At the end of the battle, the three of them lay down on the ground, panting.Zeng Xiaoxian sighed: "If those girls were here, they would definitely not allow us to play at home." Guan Gu imitated the voice of Youyou, and said in a fuss: "Die! It's too dangerous, and the flowers and plants are broken, what should I do? Zhang Wei came in with a head full of sucker bullets, and asked unconvinced: "How can this bullet be so powerful? It's because your movements are too wide!"
Looking at each other's embarrassment, several people laughed heartily, it was too exciting and enjoyable!
This kind of blood and unrestrained is what single weekends want!Half a day passed, and the apartment was in a mess, the sofa was overturned, bullets were everywhere, the decorative paintings on the wall fell off, and broken glass was everywhere.
Zi Qiao continued to command: "Look at the list, the next item!" She actually seems to have completed all 12 impossible tasks?Half a day, it feels like a year has passed, shouldn't the time of indulgence go by quickly?How can it be so slow?
Ziqiao decided that it must be because of the lack of external stimulation and the absence of audiences. "The so-called solitary happiness is not as good as a group of people, and epilepsy is not as good as being crazy. Only the shouting of the audience can double our energy and double the fun, so we need to switch from the self-high mode to the group high mode!"
Zhang Wei asked stupidly: "How to switch?"
Ziqiao took out her mobile phone and showed off: "There are a large number of beautiful women waiting to enter the venue!" After a long time of trouble, I still want to find beautiful women to hold a party!Seeing that everyone was not too happy, Zi Qiao challenged: "It's okay if you don't look for it, how about another one?"
Everyone looked at each other in blank dismay and had to admit defeat: "Forget it, let's do as you say."
3
"We can't lose to them, Mika, please give me some ideas." Yifei didn't move, so Yoyo had to discuss with Mika that they couldn't just sit in the hotel room and watch TV all weekend!Meijia tilted her head and thought for a while, since she couldn't get out, she might as well have some fun in the hotel, and suddenly she had an idea: "Go to the SPA!"
Youyou was taken aback: "Huh? If you want to die, you can't die here."
Meijia smiled and said, "I mean go to the spa, full body massage! I heard that the spa in this hotel is very unique. Let's go together, Yifei."
Yifei said lightly: "It's raining today and everyone can't go out. I guess you're not the only ones who can think of this idea. It's boring to queue up. Otherwise, I'll give you a spiritual spa!"
What is soul SPA?Just reading.How good it is to cultivate one's morality and cultivate one's sentiments. "Hey, by the way, let me introduce you a few books, you can..." Yifei took the book and turned around, and the two of them had long since disappeared.
Yoyo and Meijia sneaked into the health care center, and unexpectedly found that the surroundings were empty, except for the front desk manager, there was no one in sight.Meijia couldn't help being proud: "It seems that most people in this world are still stupid than me. Is it what everyone wants to do when it rains?"
Who knew that after hearing the manager's introduction, things were completely different from what they had imagined.Most of the technicians in the beauty and health salon are now on-site, and there is not enough manpower, so they can only make appointments for the time being.There is a North Korean government-sponsored tour group buying a group. They checked the weather forecast and booked most of the seats a few days ago. Now there are more than 300 people in front of Yoyo and Meijia.
Youyou sighed: "That's the Year of the Monkey! Can we make it there alive?"
The manager smiled: "Please wait for a while in the SPA room. If there is any personal accident during the waiting period, you can ask your family to cancel the appointment on your behalf, and we will refund the deposit in full."
Yoyo wanted to back down, but Meijia rolled her eyes and had a new idea. She held Yoyo back and said, "Don't! Let's wait, isn't there only 300 people? Soon." Meijia dragged Yoyo into a spa room and locked the door , then smiled and said to Yoyo: "Did you forget? The purpose of our coming out is not just to massage, but to have fun!"
What's the fun in waiting to stare wide-eyed?Yoyo didn't understand what she said.Meijia explained excitedly: "Isn't it just a SPA? We can DIY! There are everything here, you do it for me, and I do it for you, so we can all have fun?"
Youyou didn't believe it: "You know all this?"
"Have you ever seen a pig running, haven't you eaten pork yet? You are too contemptuous of my wisdom! Lie down quickly! Let me take a look."
Meijia opened the cabinet, compared the Chinese introductions of skin care products, and chose the same one.This snowy essence can moisturize, soothe and repair, even sensitive skin can be used with confidence.This massage milk can moisturize and whiten, effectively penetrate into the bottom layer, clean pores, and soften cuticles.This is even more powerful - Himalayan glacier water, rich in mineral purifying molecules, doubles the absorption effect.
"Well, I'll use this as the base." After collecting a lot of treasures, Meijia started to make the recipe.
Youyou laughed at her: "Base material? Are you eating hot pot?"
Meijia was busy with her hands, and introduced for her: "Isn't DIY SPA similar to hot pot? The key lies in the bottom of the pot... No, is the essential oil right? We use all the ingredients we want, and make a SPA Buddha jumping over the wall. One word - luxury! Then all your skin problems are guaranteed to be solved at once."
It sounds like a lot of fun, once you lay down on the massage table, let the horse come over.Meijia brought a mask bowl and poured all kinds of things into it. There was a small bottle with no Chinese, only a Thai label. Imported products must be more powerful. Meijia poured out the bottle of "sun-free melanin" without thinking. go in.Chen's Invincible Moisturizing, Repairing, Oil Control, Balance, Whitening, Great Health Care, start work!
Two hours later, Meijia came back, and Yifei opened the door for her. Seeing her alone, she asked strangely, "Where's Yoyo?"
Meijia pursed her lips and said, "A little accident happened, you'd better be mentally prepared."
Just as Yifei was about to ask what happened, Yoyo flashed out from behind the door with a dark face, like an African.Yifei turned her head to look at the sky, isn't it raining outside, and it can still make people look like this?Of course, thanks to Mega's amazing bottle of Thai sun-free melanin!In the world, there is a more miraculous service than "blind massage" - illiterate massage!
"Who would have guessed that it's Thai melanin, and it's actually sun-free! ——But the glacier water god horse's is still very good, look, the skin is much smoother." Meijia came to Yoyo to say good things, Yoyo She rolled her eyes angrily: "Also, if it wasn't for those skin care products that opened up my pores to double the absorption, I wouldn't have turned black like this in two hours!"
So what should I do, can I come back in vain?They are going to get their certificates next week, how can Hei Cheng take wedding photos like this?I heard that eating more coconut can whiten skin, but is it too late to eat it now?
Meijia knew she was wrong, so she pestered Youyou and acted coquettishly: "Don't be angry, Yoyo, why don't I treat you to dinner. You see, this hotel has special features besides the spa, and the Hainan-style seafood dishes are also very good. Feel free to eat , I'll pay the bill, and I'll pay you for it."
"You said that!" Thinking of her own face, Yoyo couldn't help but sigh again, "—let's order takeaway. I thought it was just that I couldn't get out of the hotel, but now I can't even get out of the room. I don't want to see anyone anymore."
Yifei glanced at the advertisement in Meijia's hand, and suddenly exclaimed: "Don't order takeaway! We're going now. There's a hula performance now! Come and see this person, doesn't he look familiar?"
Passion like fire - Sanya folk hula dance performance.Special presentation: Naumi Dance Troupe.Lead dancer - Zeng Xiaoxian? !The large color photo on the advertisement attracted the attention of three people. The lead dancer in the hula skirt looked exactly like Zeng Xiaoxian!
The world is big, full of surprises, and the permutation and combination of genetic aptitude is always the same. As the population increases, the probability of duplication also increases.Therefore, we often see a lot of face collisions in our lives, which we call "face collision monsters".In the previous stories, there have been two face-to-face incidents in the love apartment. They are the brain-dead Lu Ziqiao in the Malaysian painter's version and the tender Zhang Yida in Erkang's version seen on TV.Today, we finally witnessed the grand debut of the third "face bumper" - the gigolo version of Zeng Xiaoxian!
On the small stage of the hotel, the hula dancer Ah Xibian came out playing the tambourine. If it weren't for the mustache on his face, the three of them really thought it was Zeng Xiaoxian who had come out to play tricks. Surprised, they all took pictures to commemorate it.As if she had a special relationship with Yifei, Asi danced and came to Yifei, gave her a durian, and put a garland around her neck.Yifei was very pleasantly surprised, her eyes were shining when she looked at Asi, and the whole hula performance was screaming and laughing, how could she still look like the nerd before?
4
Boys' weekend, Maggie and Tracy are already the sixth batch of Sailor Moons who visited the iPartment.As soon as he entered, the house was in a mess, and there was a strange smell all around.Guan Gu and Zeng Xiaoxian huddled in the corner of the room to play games, and took the time to say hello to them.
Maggie looked around and asked suspiciously: "Is this place not renovated, or is it going to be demolished?"
Ziqiao smiled and said, "The theme of today's bachelor party is—treasure hunting in a chaotic room!" Seeing Tracy slipped and fell, she hurried over to help her up, and picked up the banana peel: "Don't ignore every small clue. Banana peel lottery."
Zhang Wei came out of the kitchen, carrying a large bowl of instant noodles - a self-service dish specially prepared by Guan Gu, instant noodles 2.0 - soaked with Banlangen!In Guan Gu's words, this is called "medicinal diet", which is a new discovery after he came to China.It turns out that Chinese people can also use traditional Chinese medicines such as ginseng and caterpillar fungus to cook. He was very inspired and created this special dish.It's a pity that Yoyo has been swearing against it to the death.Today's singles weekend, the ban can finally be lifted!
"A friend came from afar, you should make it up first, dear..." Zhang Wei handed the dark food to the two beauties, who looked at the dark things in the basin and couldn't help feeling sick.Guan Gu also warmly greeted: "It's very nutritious, if you don't believe me, I'll show you!" The noodles were disgusting and Guan Gu's food looks horrible, the girl ran away.Or there are only four boring men left.
A group of beauties come to scare away a group, is it because of poor hospitality?Zeng Xiaoxian yelled boredly: "Help, is it possible that the legendary single weekend is here to guard the ruins and eat instant noodles?"
As the commander-in-chief, Zi Qiao certainly wouldn't let this kind of thing happen. If the beauty doesn't want to come, then I have no choice but to go out and look for it!Not long after, Zi Qiao brought a few people to the nightclub, the sound of rumbling music, graffiti on the walls, and flickering lights, it was a scene of luxury and luxury. After much preparation and preparation, the single weekend in Zi Qiao's mind finally began!
When everyone goes in, the guard will tap a fluorescent stamp on the back of his hand.Zhang Wei felt strange, and asked in a low voice, "What is this for? Is the pork passed the inspection?" Zeng Xiaoxian told him that it was a nightclub ticket, and it would glow after entering.So cool?Zhang Wei was naturally looking forward to it.
Guan Gu, Zi Qiao, and Zeng Xiaoxian all tapped their stamps to go in, but when it was Zhang Wei's turn, he suddenly protested, "You've tapped dozens of times, and I've faded away. Anyway, I paid the money too, respect How about a little bit, or how about dipping some ink pad first?"
The doorman gave him a cold look, spat on the seal, and pushed him hard, pushing him in.
Within a few minutes of entering the door, Zhang Wei grabbed Zi Qiao's clothes from behind and whispered, "Zi Qiao, I feel a little weird." Zeng Xiaoxian comforted him, nightclubs are so noisy, just get used to it!A few minutes later, Zhang Wei said that his throat was a little uncomfortable, and Ziqiao scolded him angrily: "Who made you eat so many Banlangen instant noodles, you're choking on it."
"It's not the esophagus, it's the trachea, and—my hand seems to be wrong." Zhang Wei raised his hand, and the entire palm turned green!It might be the fluorescent stamp, or it might be the guard's saliva, anyway, Zhang Wei was really allergic, and he collapsed on the ground after a while.
Ambulance, hospital, first aid, busy tossing all night, several people were so tired that they were about to lie down.
The next day, Guan Gu was the first to wake up, and found that the room was very tidy. Could it be that Miss Conch has been here?Zhang Wei's hand was still bandaged, and it was swollen like a big steamed bun. Naturally, he couldn't tidy it up.Ziqiao did say that he was going to clean up, but it wasn't the room—it was Zhang Wei, who said he ruined the ultimate nightclub plan.Teacher Zeng worked night shift and still hasn't come back, so it's even more impossible.
Just as she was guessing, Zi Qiao came out and announced, "Lilian has prepared pineapple buns and hot soy milk, eat them while they are hot."
Pineapple buns are good, but who is Lilian?
It turned out that Zi Qiao saw that there was not even a piece of soap at home yesterday, so she went to the supermarket and happened to meet Lilian who was selling bath products.The two chatted happily, and learned that Lilian was a graduate student in the Department of Economics and Management of Dongfang University, and was doing vacation practice. They had an idea and invited her to come to the apartment to be their temporary housekeeper for a few days.In return, Ziqiao bought a basket of shower gel, which wiped out her half-month target in one go.
Ziqiao is still introducing Lilian: "She is definitely professional! I have interviewed, she has been in the dance troupe since high school, and has won the runner-up of Miss Swimsuit twice. She is good at playing, playing and singing, and her figure is 34, 23..."
Guan Gu interrupted him: "Are you talking about the profession of nanny?"
Ziqiao disagreed: "Isn't it just some housework? Mika can do it, and any young girl with an average IQ must be able to do it. What's more, Lilian has a rare affinity."
Guan Gu rolled his eyes at him: "If you think you are a beautiful woman, you will have an affinity for you."
Just as he was talking, Lilian walked into the living room with his bag on his back and said hello politely: "Gentlemen, breakfast is ready. These two should be Mr. Guan Gu and Mr. Zhang Wei. I am Lilian, please take care of me."
The two felt their eyes brightened, and they couldn't help getting up and shaking hands with her to say hello. "I don't have enough toilet paper. I went out and bought some." As he spoke, Lilian untied his hair and tossed it back and forth a few times. The smooth strands of hair swept across the hearts of Guan Gu and Zhang Wei like pieces of small feathers. Everyone is stunned, it really is very friendly!
5
Ever since meeting the gigolo version of Zeng Xiaoxian, Yifei has been completely overjoyed. She takes Yoyo and Meijia to watch the hula dance every day, and almost makes an appointment at the restaurant.It happened that Asi didn't have to perform on that day, so Yifei actually brought him out and introduced him to Yoyo and Mika.
Compared with Zeng Xiaoxian, Asibian is indeed very masculine, with dark skin and a fit body, not to mention eight-pack abs and electric buttocks.Not only has Zeng Xiaoxian's appearance, but also has the masculine charm that Yifei admires, passionate, humorous, is it possible that Yifei is really interested in this hula dancer?
Asibian's grandfather is a Tujia nationality, his grandmother is a Monba nationality, his father grew up in the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, and his mother is of Hawaiian Chinese descent, so he can speak more than ten languages, except for Mandarin.But even so, Yifei still had a very happy "chat" with him.Any joke that Asi said, even if Meijia and Yoyo couldn't understand a single word, she could laugh so hard that she almost lost her temper.In her words, you don't need to understand it, it's quite interesting just thinking about it.
Meijia and Yoyo looked at each other, wondering what kind of evil Yifei had fallen into. She actually braved the wind and rain to accompany Axi to pick durians outside.The so-called calm like a virgin, moving like a mad rabbit, is nothing more than this.
If it was the release of the suppressed energy from reading some time ago, then her performance was too extreme.I was still bored yesterday, but I got high when I saw Asi.Moreover, with the same face, why did she feel like she had been beaten when she saw that Teacher Zeng was not interested, but when she saw this Asi?
Meijia’s analysis: “I’ve seen it on the discovery channel. It’s called ‘freshness obsession’. People tend to be highly excited when they encounter familiar and new things. Adding visual or olfactory stimulation will occasionally make people Create imaginary hallucinations, and then have an inexplicable affection for the things in front of you."
Youyou half understood: "You mean, in Yifei's eyes, that Axi is Teacher Zeng?"
Meijia nodded: "Of course, so she is the only one who can understand those jokes. Teacher Zeng's Yifei has long been tired of it, and now I just met someone who is similar but opposite, and the freshness has come. The pistachio is also the same. Fresh is good."
Youyou suddenly realized: "There is still this theory! Then... what are the consequences of this novelty obsession?"
Meijia thought for a while, and then said: "There was a case in that episode: Once upon a time, there was a widow from the city who went to work with three farmers. These three farmers had never seen the world, so they felt very fresh... "
Meijia never expected that the story she told here would actually be staged on the boy's side.
First is Guan Gu. Lilian followed the gourmet program to make a pot of preserved egg porridge, sent it to Guan Gu to taste, and walked into his studio.But we all know that Mr. Guan Gu cherishes the studio even more than his bed, so how could it be possible to eat in the studio? Lilian was so frightened by his attack that his hands softened, and a pot of porridge was knocked over on the drawing. While squatting down to wipe, he said aggrievedly: "I don't know about the first day of work..."
As soon as she stood up, she flicked her hair from front to back, that strange "affinity" appeared again, Guan Gu suddenly felt no anger, took the pot of porridge, and started to eat it, boasting: " It smells so good!"
In the hotel, Yoyo asked the story with a dark face: "That sad farmer thought he saw a fairy?"
Meijia continued: "Not only that, another farmer also felt that the fairy was tempting her."
Zi Qiao walked into the room: "Lilian, I'll just let you wash the sheets, why buy new ones?"
"Because I think your sheets... don't match the color of your slippers." Lilian replied hesitantly.
Ziqiao complained: "You have taken too much care. I have used it for several years."
"Trust me, I think it should match this color better." Saying this, Lilian pulled out her pink bra.
Ziqiao understood, and the corners of her eyes flickered: "Woo...are you implying me?"
"Ah? No." Lilian shook his head.In Ziqiao's eyes, it was she who was shaking her hair charmingly, seducing him.
Meijia's story continues: "It's not over, the hallucinations of the third farmer are even more outrageous..."
Zhang Wei stretched out his swollen hand in front of Lilian, and said deeply, "Lilian, since you've come to our house, I can't hide something from you. Let's see what it is?"
Lilian replied honestly, "One hand - but it seems a little swollen. They say you have allergies."
Zhang Wei said contemptuously: "What do they know, what is swollen, what is called - strong! Today, after I removed the gauze, my whole hand felt warm. It seems that there is a magical power swimming in the palm. Listen Is it a blessing in disguise? God gave me this powerful hand to let me get rid of violence—now, do you suddenly feel that I am very different from those ordinary men?"
But a larger volume does not necessarily mean infinite strength, does it?Seeing that Lilian didn't believe it, Zhang Weifa said harshly: "Look! Can ordinary people flatten this soda can with one palm?"
Lilian hurriedly stopped him: "Don't! You'll get hurt." In Zhang Wei's eyes, Lilian was shaking her long hair charmingly, and couldn't help but stare blankly again.
Guan Gu and Zi Qiao also came in, one asked Lilian for porridge, one wanted to invite Lilian to watch the performance, and the other wanted to take Lilian out to buy bed sheets and have another drink on the way.After a few words, the three of them quarreled.
Zhang Wei shouted: "Line in line! I made an appointment with Lilian first." Seeing that Guan Gu and Zi Qiao ignored him, they swung their palms and slapped the cans on the table. He really smashed the cans.
Guan Gu ridiculed him: "The rich rely on technology, the poor rely on mutation, and you rely on allergies?"
The three glared at each other, and the room was full of swords.
In the hotel, Yoyo was still listening to the story in a trance: "Then, the three peasants fought? Do you think they were fascinated by the widow's scent?"
Meijia explained: "They feel that this fresh taste is the legendary femininity."
Youyou nodded: "I understand, no wonder Yifei said that she thinks Axibian has a manly smell...it seems to be quite heavy, but it smells like durian."
6
By the time Zeng Xiaoxian came back from get off work, a world war had already broken out.The trio was nerfing again, shooting from behind cover, and talking things he couldn't understand.
Guan Gu: "This time we are going to fight to the death."
Zi Qiao: "The true nature is finally exposed. I'll tell my little aunt!"
Guan Gu: "I just want to eat a bowl of preserved egg porridge."
Zhang Wei: "You guys scared Lilian away, I'll fight with you all the time, it's kind of a one-on-one fight, I'll slap you to death!"
Zeng Xiaoxian sniffed and smelled around: "What's the smell?" Followed the smell to the kitchen, and when he came out, he cursed: "Damn, the gas hasn't been turned off, can't you smell it? Fortunately, it was not turned on too much, otherwise you would have died. La!"
The three of them finally had a truce, and recalled carefully together. It seems that only Lilian has used gas since morning, but how could she make such a low-level mistake?When Zeng Xiaoxian heard that the three of them were fighting over a nanny just now, he couldn't help shaking his head, why did these three guys do such a bad thing when Brother Xian was away for a while!
Huh?Why are there so many bubbles in this pot? Lilian's preserved egg porridge?There is a bag of washing powder next to it. Obviously she put the washing powder in it as salt.You can’t even eat the porridge with washing powder, are you hallucinating?Zeng Xiaoxian came to a conclusion while inspecting the room.
Zhang Wei was not convinced, and retorted: "Nonsense, my hand has indeed grown bigger. Now that I am awake, it is still so big."
"Who said that? It's obviously bigger than before." Ziqiao said gloatingly.Zhang Wei looked at the crushed soda can and at his own hands, and suddenly screamed and rolled over in pain.
"Help, the toilet is full of rubbish! And this!" Originally, he wanted to go to the toilet to spit out the laundry powder and preserved egg porridge. Looking at the rubbish all over the floor, Guan Gu rushed out again, holding a broken one in his hand. Garbage bags and a bed sheet stained with soy sauce.The porridge made with washing powder is probably the bed sheets washed with soy sauce.
Zhang Wei's hands hurt badly, and he wanted to find ice for a cold compress, but when he opened the refrigerator door, garbage poured out...
In fact, Lilian doesn't know how to do housework at all, and he doesn't have a soul-stirring affinity. It's probably the gas leak and a little hormonal stimulation that fascinated several people.
It's so weak to spend a good single weekend like this.Facts have proved that some people can never be replaced, and the single life can't last a minute, but the girls will come back tomorrow, and several people gather together and sigh.Guan Gu thinks of Yoyo, Ziqiao thinks of Meijia, Zhang Wei thinks of... Mom...
How can this end?Guan Gu stood up suddenly and announced his decision, he was going to Sanya to find Yoyo!Zhang Wei and Ziqiao responded immediately, only Zeng Xiaoxian couldn't go because he wanted to broadcast live at night.It's better to give them a surprise than to get moldy here, it's such a happy decision!
The moment he saw Yoyo, Guan Gu was really startled, not only him, even Ziqiao and Zhang Wei were so frightened that they oopsed and almost ran away.Youyou asked: "Guan Gu, why are you here?" Guan Gu asked: "Yuyou, why are you burnt?"
The representatives of the two sides complained to each other about the situation, which is really hard to describe. In short, there are three things to remember when traveling in Hainan: moisture-proof, sun-proof, and anti-mega.There are three things to keep in mind when staying at home: fire prevention, theft prevention, and Ziqiao prevention.These are not the point, the point is, I miss you very much, don't you come here all right?
Guan Gu and Yoyo hugged each other, Zhang Wei and Zi Qiao approached Mika for a hug, but Mika glared at her, wanting to hug Yifei, but afraid of her flick, but the feeling of loneliness could not be resolved, both of them Hugging Guan Gu and Yoyo, choked up, almost crying.
Yifei suddenly asked: "Just the three of you here? Where is Zeng Xiaoxian? I want to introduce him to a brother who has been lost for many years." Yoyo then explained that Yifei met a person who looked very similar to Teacher Zeng here. .
Yifei went out to find Asi, and everyone planned how to spend the last night of the single weekend. As a result, a group of people sat in the room and played flying chess.The single night is to play flying chess, it seems that Mr. Zeng is right not to come, he really has the foresight.
As soon as the door opened, "Zeng Xiaoxian" came in with two durians. Ziqiao and Zhang Wei were dumbfounded. Why did he come? And why are you dressed up in such a strange way?
Youyou smiled and said: "You guys are mistaken, as soon as you smell the durian smell, you will know that he is not Teacher Zeng!"
Yifei came out from behind Ah Xibian, and introduced grandly: "This is the treasure I found in Sanya, the beach gigolo version of Zeng Xiaoxian—who was nicknamed the Hula Little Prince—A Xibian!"
Zhang Wei exclaimed: "Oh my god! It's exactly the same!" Zi Qiao shook her head and said, "Impossible, it must be Teacher Zeng pretending, there must be fraud." Guan Gu simply picked up his mobile phone and wanted to call Zeng Xiaoxian to confirm.
Yifei waved his hand: "No need. It's too untechnical to make a phone call. I have a simpler and more direct way to identify it! When I watched Asi picking durians in the afternoon, I discovered his third extraordinary stunt!"
Asi understood what she said, and put a durian on the table. Fortunately, with a loud drink, the durian was split open with bare hands.Everyone screamed, oh my god!Split durian with bare hands!Now I can believe it, this guy can't be Zeng Xiaoxian!
Asi whispered a series of words, and Yifei translated: "This durian is a gift from me for you and Guan Gu! Guan Gu, Yoyo, I wish you a happy license, as sweet as this durian!" Guan Gu, Yoyo thanked you again and again.
Asi still had a performance, so he couldn't accompany everyone, so Yifei followed him out to cheer him on, and left too.Seeing their leaving backs, Youyou couldn't help sighing: "Oh, compared to him, Teacher Zeng's charm is really weak."
Turning around and looking back, Ziqiao actually ate up the whole durian by himself, and even made an excuse that he couldn't stand the smell, so he had to get rid of it quickly.
"This is a gift from Yifei to Guan Gu and Youyou!" Meijia was the first to disagree, "Although the fruit is not worth much, at least it is their heart. It's not like you, who only complain when you eat it."
Zi Qiao argued: "Did you say that there is a gift-giving session in the singles night before? - But! Who said I don't have any gifts?" As he spoke, he took out a large gift box with a bow tie from the box.Guan Gu shook the box, stopped, and said to Yoyo: "Got it, shower gel. He bought a lot yesterday, and he is worried that he won't be able to use it up!"
Ziqiao smiled triumphantly: "When you officially set up the wine, there will be gifts too!" It seems that Guan Gu and Youyou's family will never be short of shower gel in the future, but how can there be shower gel for single nights?Ziqiao didn't care about that, and leaned towards the two of them with a stern face: "I wish my little aunt and Guan Gu to change their minds and start a new life! No, it's all washed out, and the beauty is too great."
If you can break it, just accept it as a blessing.
Zhang Wei leaned over and took out a small ticket from his jacket pocket eagerly: "I was too hasty when I came here, and I didn't bring anything... It was the only invoice I got for a prize. The eight-year amulet, I will give it to you."
"How embarrassing is this!" Guan Gu took the receipt and looked at the winning column, it turned out to be another scratch?Could it be a fake invoice?
"Aren't other invoices like this?" Zhang Wei asked blankly, everyone shook their heads, and he had to take out two fifty cents coins from his pocket, "Okay, then I really have nothing else, how about I give you this , I wish you will always be together and get together!"
The words were beautiful, and Yoyo was very happy to hear that.
Mika was left with a look of embarrassment on her face, and said awkwardly: "Yuyou, Guan Gu, I really don't seem to have prepared anything..."
Zi Qiao satirized her beside her: "You have already gifted my little aunt with dark and beautiful skin. What a gift!"
"I know that I can't make up for the harm done to you by giving me anything, so I think... I will give you the right to slap Ziqiao." Meijia gave Ziqiao a sideways look, and then said, "He owed me ten Tathagatas back then. God's palm, I have used a few in recent years, and there are probably several more. I am at a loss, even if it is five, I will give you all, I wish you a life after obtaining the certificate-crackling, crisp Loud."
Although the algorithm is a bit incomprehensible, the logic seems to be okay, Yoyo and Guan Gu readily accept it.
Zi Qiao was anxious: "Wait, who said you can give it as a gift?"
Meijia crossed her hips, not afraid of his messing around: "The rules of the world, you can't resist, you can't fight back, did you say you can't give it away?"
Ziqiao took advantage of the loophole: "The premise is that the slap notary must be present. Zhanbo is not here now, so... it is illegal for you to do this!"
A few minutes later, during the video call: "Hi, I am saving penguins in the North Pole now. Guan Gu, Yoyo, I didn't know you were going to get your license soon, so I don't have anything to give you, sorry. Since Meijia said that I will give it once Witness, I have no objection to giving Guan Gu the Tathagata palm that Ziqiao owed her. This witnessing ceremony is considered my blessing to you! I wish you two lives like these slaps, as powerful as a broken bamboo, and happy and happy!"
Sure enough, he is a scholar, and he is sharper than Meijia when he speaks idioms.
Seeing that the momentum was not right, Zi Qiao tried to persuade her to retreat: "Calm down, Guan Gu, slapping is worthless. If you want it, it's really useless."
Meijia pretended to agree with his point of view: "You're right - you have to try it to know if it works. Guan Gu, why don't you try it out and test the feel?"
"That's it—" Guan Gu was thinking, and suddenly slapped Ziqiao with his backhand, and Ziqiao fell to the ground.
Guan Gu grinned grimly and said, "Someone seems to have said: Joy alone is worse than joy together. Epilepsy is worse than being insane. There are five more, right? Why don't we all join together?"
Zi Qiao refused to accept it, she just hit one, why are there still five?Meijia said that it was a trial draw, but it didn’t count!Yoyo felt that since tonight is boring anyway, this show should be good!Zhang Wei raised his swollen hand, feeling full of strength again.
"That's it! Tonight, before 12 o'clock tonight, one person and one person, all of them will be lit up, everyone can play freely!" Guan Gu gave an order, and Ziqiao ran away from the door.
Zi Qiao hid in the men's room, Guan Gu came out from the toilet cubicle, and slapped him across the face.Zi Qiao hid in the lobby, Yoyo came out from behind, patted him, and slapped him.Ziqiao fled to the elevator, closed the door, Meijia came in, the elevator door opened, Ziqiao fell to the ground, Meijia got out, and finished another slap.Ziqiao hid in the women's toilet, Zhang Wei appeared from behind, and slapped her face with her swollen hand!After the beating, I covered my hands and jumped up and cried out that my feet hurt.
7
The next day, it rained and the sky cleared.Yoyo and Meijia got out of the quilt, discussing in a daze whether they drank too much last night, a green swollen hand stretched out from under the bed, and the two screamed in fright.
"It's me." Zhang Wei got up from under the bed and looked at his hands, "Last night, I used too much force, and it seems to have deteriorated...it's greener..."
There was a moaning sound from the bathroom, and everyone walked into the bathroom following the sound, and saw Zi Qiao lying in the bathtub with palm marks all over his face.Zhang Wei counted his palms excitedly: "1234, wow, the biggest one is mine."
Seeing them coming in, Zi Qiao panicked, suddenly felt overwhelmed, and begged for mercy: "Please, hit me, I'll be free if there's only one left."
It was the first time I heard such a cheap request.It was agreed that one person would be one, and now there is only one Fei who has not fought.Thinking of Yifei's flicking skills, Ziqiao was shocked and shouted: "No! You can't call her." But this is Sanya, and there is no other acquaintance except her, unless there is Asibian!Thinking of Ah Xibian's kung fu of chopping durians with his bare hands, Zi Qiao almost lost his temper.
Meijia smiled and said to him: "It won't be so cheap for you. Guan Gu gave me back the last slap right last night. I plan to save it and draw it at a certain time. Yesterday Guan Gu announced that before 12 o'clock When let's use the slap, I observed that Ziqiao's fear was completely different from before. Only then did I realize that I had never fully comprehended the essence of Tathagata's palm before, casually The surprise attack is fun, but it's too much for him. But if I tell him a certain time, a certain place, and my slap will come as promised, it's a completely different feeling."
Youyou suddenly realized: "Oh! It's like being hit to death by a car suddenly is different from the suffering before being sent to the execution ground."
Meijia gave her a compliment: "Bingo, because the pain will be accompanied by fear, travel through time and space, and fall on your face in advance; and this depressive feeling will last for a long, long time!"
Youyou smiled and said: "Then let's make an appointment at my wedding with Guan Gu, so that he won't have any thoughts of picking up girls on the plane that day. We will be completely safe!"
Ziqiao wanted to die, and said in his mouth: "It's too evil, you are simply devils! Devils!" jumped out of the bathtub and fled.
"Honey, I'm back!" Guan Gu came in from the outside with a dark face, even better than Yoyo, and asked triumphantly: "This is a gift from me, do you like it? My dear, although I can't bring you back to normal immediately, but this is the fastest way I can think of to make you look whiter. So, I went to a spa and used that bottle of melanin."
Yoyo was so moved that tears flowed down her face.It was so romantic that Mika felt like she was going to cry.Zhang Wei wiped his tears and said, "Me too! It's only been a weekend, and I'm no longer the blackest one in the iPartment in an instant! And the ranking has risen to fifth."
Youyou looked at Guan Gu's face and asked, "No, Guan Guan, how much melanin did you put? Why is the color darker than mine?"
Guan Gu replied with a smile: "I did it on purpose. I love you deeper, and of course my color is deeper than yours."
Youyou acted like a baby: "Why? Obviously I love you more than you love me."
Guan Gu pretended to be angry and puffed up his mouth: "Impossible, I'm already full."
"Cut! You're full, and I'm overflowing." "No, I'm deep!" "No, I'm deep."...
You two are so nasty, do you consider the feelings of the bystanders?Meijia and Zhang Wei vomited and ran out.
Yifei was waiting alone in the restaurant, and the host on the stage announced: "Gentlemen and ladies, the next hot hula performance is the chief dancer of our Umi dance troupe - Mr. Asibian specially gave it to his friend ——Ms. Hu Yifei. Ms. Hu is leaving Sanya today. Mr. Asibian wishes her a smooth journey, and we will see you soon!"
Applause sounded, Zeng Xiaoxian walked in from the outside and sat beside Yifei.Yifei originally thought it was A Xibian who stepped down to interact, but after a closer look, he found out that it was Zeng Xiaoxian. Why did he come?
Zeng Xiaoxian put his face on his face, and smiled at Yifei: "Guangu called me last night, saying that you found my face bumper in Sanya, and you were fascinated by it. So I bought it in the morning. The first flight ticket came to see and see. See how tempting my face is to you. You can pretend at home, but you can finally release it here."
Of course, Zeng Xiaoxian's purpose was actually to see if the guy who looked like him did anything wrong with Yifei in his own name!
Yifei made a look of vomiting: "I'm sorry, Asi is good at everything, but this face is his biggest flaw-look! He's on the stage!"
On the stage, Asi appeared on the stage. Zeng Xiaoxian looked at him, as if looking at himself in the mirror. Yifei blew a kiss, and was startled when she saw Zeng Xiaoxian, staggered and almost fell.
Yifei squinted at Zeng Xiaoxian, and when he looked at Asi again, he felt that his face was glowing, and praised him sincerely: "Now you are convinced. Look at how manly he is! Mr. Boring." Zeng Xiaoxian said stiffly: "What's the big deal, isn't it just twisting your waist and shaking your butt? I can take the stage instead!"
"You should learn to eat some durians first." Yifei pushed a plate of durians, and Zeng Xiaoxian ran away pinching his nose.
(End of this chapter)
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