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Chapter 16 You suffer, you deserve a better life (3)
X looks unremarkable, even ordinary.I was studying in a foreign university and had a relationship, but like all the relationships in the story, they separated after graduation.She returned to Chongqing and found a job in an Internet company in the real estate industry.

She is the kind of introverted girl who doesn't dress ostentatiously, and even lived for more than 20 years. She has never had a real madness, never had a vigorous love in a youth movie, never got drunk for a person, and never Crazy rampage from amusement park to shopping mall.According to her parents' point of view, she should be regarded as a good girl who did her duty, and she didn't do anything that would embarrass or worry her parents.

But the good girl in my parents' heart is never the good girl in my heart.In many cases, the life our parents and teachers expect of us is not the life we ​​desire.There are too many examples like this in China, but we still haven't run away from home with ambition and madness like in the movie. In the end, we finally compromised and walked the path our parents expected.

X is typical of girls who grew up in this environment.The appearance is not outstanding, and the clothes are not outstanding. Although the figure is not bad, he has not cultivated a "feminine" aura.When she was in love in college, she and her boyfriend were really like an old couple who "raised their eyebrows". After breaking up, she was always alone.

Every morning, I take a car from home to work in a distant place, and at night, I take the bus from the company's starting point to return home slowly.As I got older, my parents finally started to worry a little bit.Every time she gets a call, her mother always asks, is it a man or a woman?She said it was a woman, or just a good friend!Mothers often express disappointment: Then what's the point of going out to play!Play more with boys.

It's really like the rhythm of driving her out of the house.Her job has also been lukewarm. In the past two years, due to the fluctuations in real estate, she has gone downhill, related industries are also in recession, and there is even more wailing on the Internet.She seldom has other activities arranged after get off work, and her first reaction after get off work is to walk to the station, because she has no other place to go but to go home.In addition, she returned to Chongqing from other places, and she didn't have many friends in Chongqing, and she didn't know what activities to arrange.

Her parents gave her a sum of money, bought her a small one-bedroom house, and announced that she was officially kicked out.

X said that she really had the feeling that she was not her own.

This reminds me of another story. A media friend in Beijing suddenly posted a Weibo that day: Should the appearance of the shared roommate be considered as a criterion?I said, if this appearance is too pleasing to the eye, accidents are likely to happen!Ha ha.She said, it is estimated that the "Queen Mother" has been expecting something to happen to me all day long.

The same is true of X.She has lived alone since then.Probably her mother also hoped that she would bring the boy home, and if something happened, everything would be done in the end.But X is facing the company's increased workload and work pressure. The poor efficiency has always required employees to work twice as much to make up for it;

Every once in a while when I go home, my parents will force me to marry or arrange a blind date. When I return to my place of residence, I feel even more lonely and desolate, with no friends to hang out with, and the pressure of life is increasing.It feels like my life has entered a vicious circle, and I can never escape.

Turning 29 in a blink of an eye, every time she goes home during the Chinese New Year, she faces round after round of blind dates as reported in the news.After a short meal, I don't want to see each other again, and after a long time together a few times, it all ends without a problem.Sometimes she picks on others, and sometimes others pick on her.From the happy life with my girlfriends in college, now I feel that life seems to have entered a dead end.The low income and increasing pressure made her feel like she was busy. Every day, she wrote some soft articles that no one read, made some Internet topics, and worked hard on real estate topics, but there was very little traffic, and the leaders would scold her. She blamed her for not finding the excitement of netizens.

When I return home during the Chinese New Year, the most frequently asked questions are either about work and income, or about falling in love, getting married and having children.Faced with such a job, she has always been ashamed to talk to her three aunts and six wives.The pressing questions are tight, and occasionally I say a few words, and the three aunts and six wives don't know whether they are with the mentality of watching a joke, or they really suggest that they change jobs, and find a high-paying one.

X thought for a long time, and found a job with a high salary.This is easy to say, but it is too difficult to practice.During that time, she was urged too much. She asked me on QQ if our company was recruiting people, thinking that there might be some differences and changes in thinking about job-hopping.I recommended her to an editorial department, but she was not hired in the end, and she was content with that tepid and half-dead real estate Internet company, doing a job that would never see the end and see no hope.

Whether it's relationship or work, she has fallen into a strange circle, which makes it difficult for her to breathe.But the more this was the case, the more X was trying to protect himself by squatting in a dark corner with his knees hugged. After a long time, he didn't want to or didn't know to change.Tucao became the only way for her to resist the vicious circle of life.Sometimes she complains to me, which always makes me a little unbearable, but I don't know how to help her.I told her some great truths, but she also understood those truths. After all, she was just used to that kind of life.

Habits can be really scary sometimes.Good habits allow us to face life in a better way and attitude, but bad habits are often the cage for us to move forward.Habits are hard to change, and like personalities, they often come in pairs. X has an introverted personality, and she doesn't know how to arrange her spare time more and more. On weekends, she spends a lot of time on one bed.I live outside alone, have no relationship with the opposite sex, sleep until noon, and then go downstairs to buy lunch in my pajamas and go home to eat.I also don't want to wash and dress up, turn on the computer and watch a movie. Another weekend has passed, and I finally don't have to think about how to arrange so much boring time.Started to enter a new round of five-day reincarnation.

There is a saying that birds of a feather flock together.Our habits allow us to get in touch with similar people. Maybe we like comics, handicrafts, and watching literary and romantic movies. Take the same car, take the same road to go to the company or go home, knowing that there are other roads to go, but we will not choose other roads.Our life seems to have entered a strange circle. Things in love, career, and life are not going well. There are obviously many possibilities, but we are unwilling to accept them, and we are unwilling to break our habits and try more new things.

I have encountered problems like X, and I think many people have encountered them.After get off work, I don't know how to pass the time, so I can only go home.Thinking about changing jobs, I thought about it for a long time, but I didn't know what else I could do besides my old job.Those friends who were acquainted in the past also gradually drifted away, and even wanted to ask friends to introduce some good jobs, but they didn't know how to speak to them, so they had to choose to remain silent.

X works on the Internet, and has come into contact with some Internet companies, but the world is not only Internet companies, but also construction, finance, and advertising design... We feel safe to be friends with people with similar tastes , but we clearly know that they are not the whole world, they are just a circle of like-minded people. We build a circle and confine our lives, feelings, etc. in it.

We feel that life is getting more and more boring, and the road is getting narrower and narrower. It seems that those people are the ones we watch over and over again. We still watch those books and movies, and we still talk about food, girls, and pets. But after all, it is not life that is narrow, but ourselves.Because we are unwilling to take the initiative to accept a different world.

There may be no ideals, but don't question the ideals

In life, some people are like that. Seeing you live better than me makes me feel bad, but seeing you live badly makes me happy—I want to tell stories about three people.

(End of this chapter)