Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 21 Yunmei's Revenge (1)
Yunmei's voice sounded like surround sound: "Do you remember where this is? I was the one who ran here last time. Now it's your turn. Run, be afraid, tremble! I want some One point, slowly torturing you to death! Peel your skin! Crack your tendons! Cut your corpses into pieces! Hahaha, hahahahaha!"

Wang Sheng shouted: "Aren't you afraid that I will kill this Ma?"

Yun Mei's voice had already fallen into a state of madness: "You all have to die! Hahahahaha, you all have to die!"

After speaking, the bushes rustled, and dozens of broken glass arrows appeared in the air, heading straight for us with a whistling sound.

The porcelain people didn't care about me, they scattered and ran for their lives.

I thought about it for a while, and found that the blocking power of the porcelain figure was obviously higher than that of a flesh and blood body, so I ran right after Humpty, relying on his body to cover if something went wrong.

The glass arrows attacked us in several waves, and I followed Shorty, and the attacks on Shorty naturally increased greatly.

Humpty ran and yelled, "Don't come here! Don't come here!"

I originally wanted to change to Scar, who was taller and taller, to follow, but this guy who threatened me not to run when he took me hostage just now wanted to kick me away.Angry in her heart, she chased him even tighter.

Humpty was very familiar with the terrain of this forest, and turned into a ruined temple in the small forest.Hastily knocked on the door and went in, then closed the door and gasped, "You even have this."

This should be their stronghold. Wang Sheng and Dao Scar have already arrived. Seeing us coming in, Dao Scar asked, "What, did she come after us?"

Chubby looked out from the crack of the door: "No."

Wang Sheng said: "The mirror is her territory. No matter where we flee, we can't get out of her palm. That woman is crazy, she just wants to torture us to death."

Humpty shivered, and said in a low voice: "It's over, it's over, this time it's really over." After finishing speaking, he sat down on the ground, and immediately jumped up holding his buttocks as soon as he sat on the ground: "I'm stabbed to death."

Scar sneered: "It's ridiculous for a porcelain man to say that..."

He stopped mid-sentence, because Humpty let go of his hand covering his ass, and was holding a nail in his bloody hand.

"Look," exclaimed Humpty Humpty, "it's bleeding!"

Everyone was taken aback. Wang Sheng bit the back of his hand, looked at the blood oozing from the teeth marks, and said, "Sure enough."

"This is a human body! A living human body!" Scar exclaimed in surprise, "We're back to life!"

Chubby slurred excitedly: "I... I haven't felt pain for a long time... this feels so good... so good..."

"Calm down!" Wang Sheng frowned, "This is not right!"

Humpty and Scar looked at him suspiciously.

"If there really is a way to bring the dead back to life, why didn't Liu Yunmei herself be reborn?" Wang Sheng said, "There must be some weirdness in it... just now she said that the longer she is in the mirror, the more her real side will be reflected... Could this be what she was talking about?"

"True..." Scar said, "Could it be because we were attached to the porcelain figurine a second before we died, so we are not considered dead, so we have entities in the mirror?"

Wang Sheng said: "This is definitely not a good thing. With a physical body, the sense of pain is restored. Which one do you think is better for Liu Yunmei who wants to torture us?"

The other two shuddered, with expressions of fear on their faces.

Dao Scar said: "Grandpa, it turns out that my body is so troublesome, I should have known that I might as well have died."

I was shocked: "The three of you are living souls, how is it possible?"

The soul of the dead body will definitely become a dead soul, how can there be a living soul that exists for 500 years.

Humpty said: "I don't know how to operate it. Anyway, a tall man in white clothes helped us change it, because if we don't change it, there is no way..."

Wang Sheng interrupted him sharply: "Why are you talking so much to him!"

Wearing white clothes, there is an expert who can change fate.

I have no time to think about what Humpty is going to say behind me. There are only three words in my mind - change, life, and people!

It is him again!
I can't understand what the life-changer is trying to do at all.

He not only saved Yunmei, but also saved these three people.The hatred between the two parties that led to the confrontation lasted for 500 years.

It's like a camel gave birth to a donkey, a freak.

What is the benefit of doing this, what is his purpose?
While meditating, Wang Sheng muttered to himself: "Reveal the truth... reflect the truth..." Suddenly his eyes lit up, "Ah!"

Scar and Humpty quickly asked, "What's wrong?"

Wang Sheng immediately changed his original expression and said, "It's nothing, I thought of other unimportant things, let's look at the map first."

After all, he took out the human skin and spread it on the ground.

The map on the human skin is not as clear as I thought, with messy routes criss-crossing, and there are many strange symbols in the middle, which will definitely make you dizzy if you look at it for a long time.

"The old man is not stupid. Even if he drew the map on his daughter, he didn't forget to draw a few more lines to make smoke bombs." Scar said, "On this map, there are hundreds of possible locations. Where are they? "

"At the beginning, I asked Liu Yunmei countless times, both softly and hard. She really didn't know how to read this map." Wang Sheng said: "We can only try one by one."

Scar frowned and said, "This stupid method is not like your style."

"What's so difficult about it?" Wang Sheng said with a smile, "Anyway, what we need most is time."

"Yes, yes, Wang Sheng is right." Humpty stretched his waist and said, "After recovering, I still feel tired and sleepy. I haven't had the desire to sleep for hundreds of years. Go to sleep first and talk about it tomorrow."

Wang Sheng put the map back into his arms, and the three of them agreed to take turns to watch the night, and then they rested.

Due to work habits, I woke up earlier, and the person who was awake and watching was Wang Sheng.

He leaned against the window, looking at the map in his hand by the morning sun.

Looking at it, a smug smile appeared on Wang Sheng's face, and he said in a barely audible voice: "It really is."

After another half an hour, Wang Sheng woke up Humpty and Scar: "It's not too late, let's act now, and Scar and I will go outside to find the way." He pointed to me and said to Humpty, "Your friend yesterday Injured, going out is too heavy on the body, rest here, and watch him by the way."

Humpty smiled and agreed, and after they left, he spat and smeared on the ground, and cursed at the door: "You two dogs want to leave me alone!" My feet hurt from kicking, hugged my legs and yelled twice, slumped beside me, and said to me like venting my anger: "Don't think that the two of them have a good relationship, the guy with the scar wants to rely on Wang Sheng Wisdom found the treasure, and Wang Sheng relied on Scar's force to protect himself. Wang was afraid that Scar would end him after he found the treasure, so he asked me to restrain Scar. So Scar didn't like me, but because of Wang Sheng, there was no way Do it to me." Humpty poohed on the ground again, "Go to his grandpa's treasure, I'm not interested at all."

I have long seen that these three people have ghosts, but I don't believe that Chunky has no interest in this thing at all: "They are rich, so you don't envy them at all?"

"Money?" Humpty squinted his eyes at me for a while, then laughed hahahaha, "You thought we were looking for money, hahaha, hahahaha."

I was fooled by his smile: "Isn't it?"

"Wang Sheng died in groups of wives and concubines, and his house was tens of thousands. Dao Scar was a bandit leader before he was alive, and he dominated one side. Their own family has piles of gold and silver, and they will hang out here for 500 years for money?" Humpty laughed loudly. Said: "At the beginning, it was rumored that there was indeed money in the treasure map, but what they were after was not money."

I was even more confused: "Why is that?"

"For..." Chubby leaned forward, lowered his voice, and said word by word to me, "Jun, Lin, Tian, ​​Xia!"

The four words were like a thunderbolt, which made my hair stand on end.

The words "King's Landing and the World" are undoubtedly a joke in today's era of military globalization, but the pudgy expression and Wang Sheng's 500-year persistence make me believe that he is telling the truth.

"You said..." My voice was a little hoarse, "Why do you rule the world? In this society, even if you hold the emperor's imperial seal, the Party Central Committee will not recognize you."

"It's not those useless things, it's power." Humpty said, "a power that transcends everything and surpasses billions of people!" Humpty became more and more excited as he spoke, "As long as you get that power, you will be able to use it to your heart's content." People can be enemies. Money is nothing, profit is nothing. With absolute power, everything in the world is yours! Jewelry, land, army, beauties... as long as you stand on top of the world with one person, the world is under heaven , Could it be the land of the king! On the shore of the land, could it be the king's minister!" The short and fat man was so excited that he stood up and shouted loudly: "In the sky and on the earth, I am the only one!"

I was heartbroken, swallowed, forced a calm smile and said, "Didn't you say you're not interested?"

"One mountain cannot contain two tigers. Wang Sheng Dao Scar has the ambition to dominate the world. They are looking at peace now, but once they know the location of the treasure, they will fight to the death. I said I am not interested in the king." Humpty sat down again "It's because I have self-knowledge and know that I can't beat them. I don't have any ambitions, what to do to climb so high, as long as he sees that I have no credit but hard work, and give me some sweetness, I will do it too." It's worth it."

I looked at him sympathetically: "In the 500 years of worldly disputes, you can still maintain such a pure heart. It is so stupid that you are out of the mud and not stained with clean ripples and not demonized."

Chunky was startled, and looked at me warily: "What should I say?"

I said: "At first glance, you read very little, and you have no knowledge or experience. You have to find time to read books, go to Qidian, and go to large academic forums such as Huandao Shumeng, and you will understand. Like you This kind of villain didn't end well in the end. If he has power, why do he need you? Didn't you say that Scar doesn't like you? When he has power, he will be the first to kill you!"

Chubby shrank his neck and said, "I didn't think about him, and put everything on Wang Sheng. If he wins, I will be saved. He is a smart man, he can see through me, and knows that I am not a tall man." The little people who demanded."

I looked at him with disdain and sympathy and said, "So it's not good to say that the villain is good, the three of you can play a scheming movie."

"Yes, the three of us are nothing." Humpty looked at me with tears in his eyes, "Just now you would rather risk your life than let Yunmei hand over the map, and Yunmei would rather hand over the map than It was touching to have you hurt. I am so touched that you are true companions!"

Forget it, I thought desperately, let him misunderstand.

Chunky sighed again, and said, "I can only wait for Wang Sheng to find the treasure."

I was surprised: "Are you sure that Wang Sheng wins and Scar loses?"

"Isn't that obvious." Humpty laughed, "That guy Scar is stupid. He only has brute force and doesn't use his brain. How can he be Wang Sheng's opponent? Can intelligent criminals compare with manual labor robbers? According to your modern words, that is the difference between migrant workers and white-collar workers.”

I said, "Don't look down on the migrant workers, now you may not be able to tell who has the highest wages."

Chunky and giggling, he already looks hideous, and when he laughs, his face is crowded together, making him look very ferocious.But after chatting with this guy for a long time, you can find that he has a simple heart.I couldn't help but asked strangely: "I think you're quite responsible, why did you get mixed up with them?"

"People are in the rivers and lakes, and they can't help themselves." Humpty pointed to himself, "Look at my face, is it fierce?"

I nodded: "It can scare people."

Dumpty said: "Because of this face, no one believes that I am a good person. The wanted criminals drawn by the government cannot have fat people. Once there are fat people who commit crimes, they will draw them in my image, saying that my appearance is more standard. According to what you say now, I look versatile, but before I knew it, I became notorious all over the world. I thought, what the hell, since God doesn’t give me a chance to be a good person, then I will be a villain , and then I fell."

I said, "It's a pity, you were born at the wrong time, and you can be a qualified villain actor in the modern age."

The two of us chatted one after another, and I don’t know how long it took, when suddenly there was a rush of footsteps outside the door, and Scar rushed in from the door, holding a broken mirror in his hand, looking around with a ferocious expression: "Where is Wang Sheng?"

"What's the matter?" Humpty jumped up and asked, "Where's Wang Sheng?"

"Run away, that kid deliberately led me to Liu Yunmei, he wanted me to die!" Scar said angrily, "He did this suddenly, he must have discovered the location of the treasure."

"What?" Humpty was greatly shocked, he certainly never thought that Wang Sheng would abandon himself at such a juncture.

"Damn it!" Dao Scar rushed out the door again, "I want his life!"

Chubby didn't say anything, and ran out after him.

I got up and shouted: "Hey, hey, untie me first."

Accompanied by my shouts, they ran farther and farther, and disappeared.

I jumped to the door, intending to cut the rope with a broken mirror from the outside, when I poked my head out, I saw Yunmei standing not far away.

I shouted excitedly: "Yunmei! Yunmei!"

Yun Mei turned her head to look at me, smiled sweetly, and stretched out her hand towards me.I saw thousands of pieces of broken glass flying towards here, I hurried back into the house and hid behind the door, only to hear the sound of glass hitting the door outside.

"You hit the wrong person," I yelled through the door, "Look clearly, it's me, I'm a horsemanship!"

"It's useless." A familiar voice suddenly came from the window, "She has been blinded by hatred now."

I was excited when I heard this familiar voice, I turned my head and shouted: "Pikachu!" But when I turned my head, I was dumbfounded.

Standing by the window was a tall man with a figure similar to Arnold Schwarzenegger's, with sword eyebrows and starry eyes, and his face was expressionless.If I had to describe it in one word, it would be - cool.

"Pika..." I asked suspiciously, "Pixiu?"

The man nodded calmly: "You didn't take me out when you went out."

I said, "How did you become like this?"

Pixiu said: "This is what I look like in human form."

I got angry from it and said: "You can't do this, you have changed the average level of male creatures on the second floor, and you can't get along with other people on the second floor, breaking the unity! You have to change in the direction of Zhao Benshan, Xiaoshenyang, Wang Baoqiang That’s enough to be close to the people!”

Pixiu snorted coldly, "I've always been a loner, and I don't care about other people's opinions."

I just now realize that Pixiu is so hypocritical and hypocritical, I really don’t care what other people think, why doesn’t he become Mr. Bean!

"All right," I said, "come in and untie me."

Pixiu nodded, pushed open the window, and jumped in while leaning on the window frame.

The movement is very chic, if there is no pause when the head hits the window frame, it will be considered as a one-stop operation.

Seeing that the land where he jumped in was facing the long nail that was inserted into the short and fat ass yesterday, I quickly shouted: "Be careful!"

It's a bit late, the nail has already penetrated Pixiu's right foot, the sole of the foot goes in and out, it looks like it's pierced through.

Pixiu still looked at me blankly: "What's wrong?"

I pointed to his feet: "You don't feel it?"

Pixiu pulled out the nail from the sole of his foot, snorted and threw it on the ground: "These small injuries... hiss... nothing, of course I don't feel it."

I don't think what's the "hiss" of your gasping breath?

But seeing him like this finally made me feel relieved.It turns out that some things can only be seen clearly by looking at the human form. He had less time to show up before, so he didn't have time to observe.Looking at it now, although his appearance has changed, Pixiu's two-handedness and style of doing things are too unique. It looks like it was produced on the second floor of the small building, 100% original!Definitely able to mingle with Reddy Gaga and the others.

I couldn't bear to look at Pixiu's feet spraying the blood column like a miniature fountain, and said, "Untie the rope for me."

Pixiu didn't move, and asked me instead: "Do you know why I can become a human? Why can I find you?"

"why?"

"We have established a master-servant relationship, and our hearts are connected. Even if the body is separated, the exchange of souls will not be interrupted. So as soon as you enter the mirror, I will find it."

"Wait, wait..." I had goosebumps all over my body, "Aren't you ashamed to say that?"

Pixiu looked at me arrogantly, and there were four words written in his eyes - you layman.

"I said that the strength of my spells increases with your ability. Didn't you find that you can easily see ghosts recently, and you can even touch them at certain times?" Pixiu showed a strange expression on his face Complicated look: "That's because your ability has improved."

"Why?" I was more surprised than him, "I didn't do anything."

"Yes, your aptitude is extremely low, you are ignorant, and you have not yet learned Taoism. But your mana can continue to improve." Pai Yao said, "This has been discovered by the heavens long ago, and it has been listed as one of the seven unsolved mysteries." The Seventh Mystery——the Mystery of Horsemanship Progress."

"The seventh mystery?" I asked, "What is the sixth mystery?"

"The sixth biggest mystery is the existence of ufos." Pai Yao said to me, "For you, the Celestial Science Research Group has specially organized a Superstition Research Group to study this topic. This is a great honor."

"So amazing!" I asked excitedly, "How far have I progressed? Can I take someone's life thousands of miles away?"

"Didn't I say that you can win five yuan if you buy three lottery tickets?" Pai Yao explained in the most plain language, "Now you can win five yuan if you buy two tickets."

Just earning one yuan, I feel a deep sadness, it turns out that my small step is a giant step for the scientific research team in the heavens: "Then they have researched it?"

Pixiu said: "Finally, the experts in the celestial world came to a conclusion - this is a miracle."

I asked, "Do you believe it?"

Pixiu snorted coldly: "You can't believe the words of experts!"

Fortunately, although I stayed a little bit, I was not stupid.

After untying the rope, Yun Mei was still guarding the door of the room, leaning on the tree, swaying left and right, humming something, and following his movements, the broken mirror was inserted rhythmically into the ground.

I asked, "Is it possible to talk to her?"

Pixiu shook his head and said: "She has been corrupted by hatred and has become obsessed. She won't listen to what you say."

"Then what?" I said. "She's not recovering?"

Pai Yao said: "Let her take revenge and she will regain her sanity."

I reassured: "Then wait until she gets revenge."

"She hasn't killed anyone yet." Pai Yao said, "Those three people are living souls now. If she starts killing people, she will immediately fall into the devil's way, and her sanity will completely collapse."

That said, she couldn't let her kill the three of them.

I saw that the blood on Pixiu's feet was about to run out, so I asked, "Are you alright?"

Pixiu's face had lost all color, and he said, "Of course I'm fine, just a little dizzy and tinnitus."

Dude, I think your state is no longer good.

Yun Mei snorted for a while, then stood up suddenly, looked around, then showed a weird smile on her face, and walked away bouncing around.

Pixiu and I followed immediately.

Pixiu used telepathy to me and said: "It seems that she has sensed those three people."

I asked, "What will happen if she can't avenge her?"

"I will always maintain this appearance." Pai Yao said, "unless she can restrain her resentment, but it seems impossible now. Her heart has long been completely occupied by hatred. In other words, she now does not remember We are."

Yunmei's hair is disheveled now, walking like a drunkard, holding a knife made of mirror fragments in her hand, muttering to herself while walking.

(End of this chapter)