Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 22 Yunmei's Revenge (2)
Her skin became thinner and thinner as she moved, and a piece of skin fell off when she took a step, revealing red and greasy flesh.

Halfway through, Yunmei suddenly jumped into the air, screaming and rushing towards a certain spot in the woods.Only a few screams were heard, and the two men ran out of the bushes in front of them, rolling and crawling.

It's Chunky and Scar!
One of them covered their arms and the other covered their ears, their hands were dripping with blood, and they howled and fled to other places.

Pixiu and I quickly hid our bodies in the grass.

Humpty and Scar hurried past our hiding place.Yunmei smiled hehehe, like a cat playing with a mouse, muttering something, and followed them leisurely.

Yunmei walked by us, and I finally heard what she was saying.

Yunmei said: "This year's Chinese New Year, I will not peel the skin. If I don't peel the skin, I will not peel the skin. If I want to peel it, I will peel your skin, your skin. Hey, where is your skin? Hey, let my dad peel it. Naturally, there is no addition, Liu Yunmei, peel it. The best skin. After peeling off the skin, it will be ice-cold and refreshing..."

"Look." Pai Yao said to me, "She is hopeless."

"No!" I said confidently, "She hasn't been completely eroded yet." I looked at Pai Yao and explained, "She still remembers her profession, she was an artist in an advertising company!"

Dao Scar is short and fat, and Yun Mei catches up with him as soon as he sees it.Dao Scar turned around suddenly, and kicked Chung Pang, who was chasing after him, on Yun Mei.

"Caught it." Yun Mei pulled the chubby and smiled sweetly, with a happy expression on her skinny face, "A hand or a leg?"

Chubby struggled desperately, but no matter what, he couldn't escape Yunmei's imprisonment.

Yun Mei asked gently again: "A hand or a leg?"

Only then did Chunpang understand that Yunmei wanted him to choose one of the two, and said tremblingly, "Hand..."

"Okay." Yun Mei raised her chunky right hand with a smile. Two thin pieces of broken mirrors started from the tip of the chunky fingertips, like a skilled chef peeling potatoes, peeling the chunky skin quickly and evenly. cut it down.

"Wow!" Humpty howled in pain while hugging his bloody hand, "Wow, my hand!"

Yun Mei cast aside Chunky and looked around, seeing that Scar had already disappeared.

Yun Mei tilted her head and yelled, stomped her feet like a child and said, "Let him run away." Then she said to herself: "It's okay, there is another one."

After speaking, he hummed a song and left.

This time she hummed the K-pop song "nobody", but the lyrics were changed.

Yun Mei sang: "I want to pluck your skin, slap, slap, I want to slap your skin, slap..."

I think Yun Mei is really an adaptation genius.

Pixiu and I followed behind Yunmei.After walking for a while, Pai Yao suddenly frowned and said, "A smell of blood."

Yunmei finally stopped in front of a tree, and a bloody man was tied to the tree.

It turned out that Wang Sheng was here.

Wang Sheng was naked, and the skin on his body was cut into small pieces, peeled off like dry, cracked and mottled tree bark, half of which was peeled off, and half stuck to his body. The only thing that was intact was his face.

"I'm back." Yun Mei said in a rather sweet voice, then with a slender hand, she gently tore off a piece of Wang Sheng's skin.

"Oh!" Wang Sheng howled in pain, "Please forgive me, please forgive me!"

"No." Yun Mei caressed Wang Sheng's face, "I want to torture you slowly and let you feel my pain. You are too smart, you just wanted to use your scar to attract my attention, but you can't , I don't like him, I only like you."

Wang Sheng cried: "What do you like about me? Can't I change it!"

Yun Mei laughed and said, "I like to peel off your skin." After speaking, she slowly and slowly peeled off a piece of Wang Sheng's skin.

Seeing this, I realized that Yunmei had shown mercy to Chungpang.There is still an essential difference between Meridian Gate Asking and Ending with a Cut and Ling Chi.

Wang Sheng burst into tears.

There are Lolicons and Yujiecons in this world, but skinny connoisseurs like Yunmei are definitely rare.

Yun Mei asked: "What other wish do you have now, tell me about it?"

Wang Sheng said, "Don't pick my skin off, can you?"

Yun Mei said: "No, no."

Wang Sheng said, "Then can you let me go?"

Yun Mei said: "No, no."

Wang Sheng's tears fell one by one: "We are discussing such a serious issue, can you be serious?"

Yun Mei said: "No, no."

Wang Sheng said: "This doesn't work, and that doesn't work, so you still ask me what wish I have?"

Yunmei playfully jumped on the spot, and pointed to her cheek: "I asked you what wish you have, but I won't make it come true if you tell me. Hahahahaha." She let out a series of silver bell-like laughter, He jumped two steps back, put his hands on his chin in a flower shape, "Scare you, hahahahaha." Then he turned around again, and jumped back two steps, "I'm so mad at you! "Finally ran to the distance with light steps, "Chasing me, chasing me, hitting me, hitting me, hahahahaha."

childish!If both of them are alive, Wang Sheng will definitely kill her again in anger.

I asked Pixiu, "Is this the way people go crazy?"

Pixiu said: "There are many kinds of obsessions. She belongs to the kind described by Ouyang Feng in "The Legend of Condor Heroes."

"Hehe, you are very knowledgeable!" I said, "I have seen Condor Heroes."

Pixiu said: "Dragon son is a super protective animal in the heavens, enjoys the treatment of a division, and has a lot of time."

I nodded, and instantly felt a sense of pride that I am the master of the super beast.

Seeing Yun Mei's back gradually going away, I suddenly thought of a question: "Yun Mei's character has collapsed like this, do you think she will kill us witnesses when she wakes up?"

Pixiu said decisively: "If it were me, I would."

I decided not to provoke him easily in the future.

After Yunmei had disappeared, I came out from the bushes where I was hiding to untie Wang Sheng's rope.

Wang Sheng looked at me in surprise: "You..."

Pixiu asked, "You want to let him go?"

I said, "It's not worth making Yunmei a demon for this kind of person."

Pixiu asked me with brain waves: "Do you want them to continue to live?"

"How is it possible, Yunmei's enemy is my enemy." I said, "Let Yunmei toss them hard in the mirror. When I get out of the mirror, I will smash all the porcelain figures! They are living souls, except for those Porcelain people can't be attached to other places for a long time, and if they don't get attached at that time, can they still live?"

Wang Sheng was untied and ran away in a panic.

"This man is really rude." I said to Pai Yao, "He didn't even say thank you."

Pai Yao looked behind me silently.

I noticed something strange in his eyes, I quickly turned around, and immediately saw Yun Mei's skinless face.

At this moment, Yunmei's eyes were redder than her face.

Yun Mei raised the shattered mirror like an ice pick while asking, her tone was as cute as ever: "What are you doing?"

Subconsciously, I held my chin with both hands and said softly, "Hey hey hey hey, I won't tell you." After speaking, I pulled up Pixiu and ran away.

Yun Mei let out an angry roar and followed behind me. Broken lenses immediately fell like hailstones.

I only now know that Yunmei has always been merciful before, but now the density of broken mirrors cannot hide even a needle.

In the blink of an eye, the tip of the fragment had already reached the top of my head.

Pixiu let out a low growl, regained his animal body, threw me to the ground, and protected me.

At the critical moment, Pikachu still works.

I shouted: "Yunmei, do you still remember the horse-horsepower technique in front of the second floor? We are companions!"

The fragment was so close that it just happened to land on top of Pixiu's head.

When Yunmei came to me, the tip of the debris was very low. She crawled over while squatting, and because of the large area of ​​the debris, it took a total of 10 minutes for her to crawl to me.At first, Pixiu made a low, threatening sound from his throat to intimidate her, but later he found that she had been crawling for too long and kept yelling that her lung capacity was not enough, so she stopped making any sound at all.

I looked at Yunmei sadly, why bother.

When she came in front of me, I finally couldn't hide my sleepiness and yawned.

Yun Mei thought for a while, then sneered, and raised her hand, the shards of the mirror in her hand gleamed coldly: "You said we are companions, what proof do you have?"

At this moment, the space in the sky was like a torn paper, revealing a black hole.Sanniang's head protruded from the black hole: "Brother Ma, what's the matter..." At this point, she stopped and looked at us in surprise: "Oh, what's going on, you guys are fighting?"

Reddy Gaga's head immediately protruded from Sanniang's vicinity: "Hey hey hey hey, fight quickly, fight quickly, I love watching people fight the most."

Sanniang rolled her eyes and pulled Reddy away: "You are everywhere!" Then she smiled at us: "Then we won't bother you."

With that said, the hole was closed.

Yunmei and I stared blankly at the sky. After a long while, I pointed to the sky and said to Yunmei; "Evidence."

Yun Mei froze for a while, then suddenly howled with her head in her arms, her expression very painful.

Among Yunmei's intermittent groans, there were three familiar words: "Horse...horsepower."

As soon as these three words were uttered, Yun Mei collapsed to the ground like a puppet whose strings were broken.I hurried over and crawled over to support her.

"Horsepower." Yunmei's eyes finally returned to their original black, and she looked at me in confusion, "What's wrong with me?"

I was afraid of irritating her again, so I tried my best to explain what happened in a simple and soft tone.

"Although it seems that Wang Sheng already knows the location of the treasure, don't worry." I said, "As long as we step out of the mirror first and smash the porcelain figurine."

"Treasure?" Yun Mei blinked strangely, then suddenly realized, showing a sympathetic and helpless expression again, "Are they still talking about this?"

I looked at her suspiciously.

"Have you seen my skin?" Yun Mei asked after I nodded, "How do you feel?"

I said, "It's very abstract, I can't understand it."

Yunmei said: "I told you that my mother died early. In fact, my father would think of my mother when he saw me, and he was not at home all the year round, so he was not close to me. My father's wife and concubine had never had children. They Jealous of my dead mother, so she made things difficult for me."

The source of the infertility should be Yunmei's father, but unfortunately, there were no Renhe Hospitals all over China at that time, and there were no superpowers who stared at anyone who was pregnant.

Yun Mei said: "As the saying goes, my body and skin are my parents. The best way for them to damage me is to torture my body. But after all, I am the eldest lady of the Liu family in name. They are afraid of my father and dare not do it. On the bright side, he got a tattoo on my back while my father was away."

I said, "So it's not a map?"

Yun Mei nodded: "At first they wanted to stab a fox, but when the stab failed, they changed it to a hedgehog, and when the stab failed, they changed it to a dragon, and after the stab failed, they finally changed it to a landscape painting. "

The landscape was also stabbed, I thought, and I didn't see that it was a landscape.

"Wang Sheng was clever but was misled by his cleverness." Yun Mei said, "He believed that my family had a treasure map and set his sights on me. After I eloped with him, he looked at the tattoo on my back every day, and he saw it clearly. Almost insane, and finally believed that what I carried on my back was the treasure map."

After disdainful research, Wang Sheng finally realized that the picture in the picture was a landscape. After seeing the tattoo, I think he would have to put in as much effort as Apollo landed on the moon if he wanted to see that the picture was a landscape painting.

Yun Mei continued: "There are a few reasons why Wang Sheng confirmed that it was a map. First, as the eldest lady of the Liu family, it is strange that I have tattoos that are not popular. Second, this picture is too bizarre and unimaginable. , he thought it was to hide the real treasure location. In the end, my father and I had a flat relationship, and he thought it was to hide the map's cover-up on me."

I finally understand why Yunmei always has a strange expression every time I talk about the map.

Wang Sheng's mistake was that he was too smart. He thought that other people were doing the same tricks as he did, but in the end, he was the only one who thought too much.

(End of this chapter)