Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 24 The Unbreakable Lock (1)
After getting out of the mirror, Yunmei and I returned to our bodies.The three little porcelain figurines fell in front of the mirror, and the wounds on the porcelain figurines were exactly the same as when the three died.

Because the porcelain figurines have been possessed by ghosts for too long, the yin energy persists, and the temperature is the same as the thousand-year-old ice, so I threw all three porcelain figurines into the refrigerator. Functional refrigerator.How do you say it is multi-functional?The porcelain figurine can be used as a refrigerator when put in, and the leftovers can be heated when the porcelain figurine is taken out.

The next day, the newspaper published the news of "Spider-Man Appears in Our City Again" on the front page. This time, the reporter who wrote this report should be a big fan of Spider-Man. He condemned the person who tore my clothes with very strong words. people.

At the end of the report, he wrote in a very provocative tone: "The superhero whose skin was torn off by humans fled. Looking at his lonely back, we couldn't help asking: What did he do wrong? Why did we do this? Treat our friend? Why do you want to hurt him like this? He has a powerful ability. Witnesses say that he can even make the car move instantly, but he didn't resist, and he didn't get angry when his skin was ripped off. Why? Because he put We treat ourselves as our own people! Shouldn’t we human beings reflect on ourselves when we see such a kind Spider-Man? Here, the author once again appeals to everyone to treat our friends kindly! Treat nature kindly!”

After reading this report, I feel that this reporter is not far from being laid off, and the editor-in-chief who wrote this report should soon go home for tea.

The accompanying picture is the back view of me taken by the bus passengers with their mobile phones.This photo was compared with the original photo of Yunmei climbing the hospital, but this time the focus of everyone's discussion shifted to what is under Spider-Man's clothes.

It is said that Spiderman's clothes turned out not to be clothes but leather, which caused quite a stir among Spiderman lovers. One person who pursued perfection said that if an ordinary Spiderman could be measured by three bars , then the level of Spiderman appearing on the bus is a proper five bars!

In order to compensate for the torn Spider-Man clothes, Yun Mei drew a pair of Spider-Man skins and gave them to the Hanged Ghost, but judging by Wang Liang’s expression when he got the skins, I guess they will not play Spider-Man role-playing anymore .

During dinner at night, I asked Yunmei, "Does your family have a treasure map?"

Yun Mei said: "I haven't heard my father mention it."

Sanniang asked, "Is there anything important?"

"Important things... Ah!" Yun Mei tilted her head and thought for a while, then ran back to the room, and when she came back, she had an extra key in her hand, "Does this count?"

This is a palm-sized key. At first glance, the workmanship is rough. When I hold it in my hand, I find that although it looks simple, it is very well-made. There is a rope tightly attached to the key. It looks like the thread is actually woven with very thin metal wire. made.

Yun Mei said: "My father said that there was a key and a lock in my house. The key and the lock hide a big secret, but although there are both the lock and the key, no one can use the key to open the lock. Later, the lock was stolen. There is only one key left, and I leave it to me."

I said, "Could it be that the legendary treasure map is hidden in that lock?"

"Hey." The man said regretfully, "How could such an important thing be stolen."

Yun Mei said: "My father hid the lock and the key in two separate places, both of which are extremely secret places. My father once boasted that no one in the world could steal the other, but I didn't expect that someone actually stole the lock." Yun Mei muttered to herself, "Such a superb stealing skill is really rare, who is capable of stealing it?"

"Who is it?" I turned around.

"Who is it?" Sanniang smiled and turned her head.

"Who is it?" Pixiu, who was wandering outside in human form, turned around blankly.

"Who is Su?" The Hanged Ghost repeated with his head tilted.

"Whoishe?" The man's head hovered in mid-air.

"Ahhh?" The kid raised his head.

The eyes of all people, demons and ghosts are concentrated in one place - Reddy Gaga.

Reddy Gaga looked at us with his trademark smirk.

We gathered around Reddy Gaga and observed the lock on his neck. It was obvious that the lock and key hung on Reddy Gaga's neck were the same set, but the lock didn't have a keyhole and couldn't be opened.

Because Yunmei only saw the key after the lock was lost, no one knew whether the lock had no holes or was tampered with.

I asked Lady Quack, "How did you get this lock? Did it have any holes?"

Reddy Gaga answered very straightforwardly: "I don't know."

I had no choice but to take out the dog whistle and call Gou Fugui and Wu Xiangwang to ask Reddy Gaga about his life experience.

"Reddy Gaga's life experience?" Gou Fugui patted his stomach and laughed, "It's very simple. We checked it before, so Xiao Wu will tell you."

Don't look at each other and flick through the notebook: "Leddy Gaga's previous life was the thief 'Anonymous'."

"Anonymous?" I was shocked, "Is that the famous writer?" I excitedly held Reddy Gaga's hand, "I often see your name in magazines, your articles have varied styles, Across multiple fields of prose, poetry and novels! You are my idol!"

Reddy let me hold his hand, giggling silly.

Sanniang said with a smile: "Brother Ma, the word 'Yu' means one person, one lost, and it means a person who disappears or hides, so 'Anonymous' in the book is not a name of a person, but means that the original author of the article cannot be found. .”

I immediately shook off Reddy Gaga's hand.

Wu Xiangwang continued: "Anonymous is not his original name. It is said that this thief believes that the real theft should be done without anyone noticing. The person who is stolen will never know who stole his things, and all personal information will be affected. The success rate of theft, so he does not have a name. But his stealing skills are too perfect. After several thefts that shocked the world, people finally discovered him and gave him an anonymous name, but even so, until he After his death, no one knows who Anonymous is, or even how he died and where his body is."

I said, "Don't you have life and death books?"

"Comrade Lei Feng, there are people, animals, plants, insects, monsters, etc. in the world, each of which has a backup in the life and death book. The data is too huge, so we can't pay attention to each one, right? It is common for data backups in the life and death book to be lost. , This is understandable, if not for this, we would have discovered that the fate has been tampered with earlier." Gou Fugui said, "But since the last time when some people's fate was found to be changed, the superiors have attached great importance to it and ordered Organize the data immediately, and it is estimated that the data files will become formal in 5000 years at most.”

You said it as if you didn't say it.I asked, "Then how did you know about him?"

Wu Xiangwang said: "This is all excerpted from Jianghu Yishilu."

It turned out that I found it from the novel.

"In any case, he was able to hide it from the underworld." Pai Yao said, "To be able to do this, this person is very talented and very smart."

I looked at Reddy Gaga sympathetically and asked, "Then how did he become like this now?"

"I don't know about this, because he didn't go through the underworld in his reincarnation. But the cycle of heaven has its own laws in the dark. Even if he didn't go through the underworld, the retribution of stealing too much in his previous life still made him reincarnated as a six relatives in this life. He's a fool, but I don't know why even if he becomes a fool, he can still teach himself the amazing stealing skills." Wu Xiangwang said, "The lock also came back to him by some strange coincidence."

Sanniang looked at the lock thoughtfully.

"This lock falling into your hands again means that you are destined." Gou Fugui patted Reddy Gaga on the shoulder, "Little comrade, make a good reform in the world! Try to correct your mistakes as soon as possible, return to the underworld as soon as possible, and let the Lord of the Underworld You commute your sentence!"

I asked, "Do you know how to open this lock?"

Gou Fugui observed the lock carefully, and said, "Well...I'll go back and find someone to ask you."

The next day I received a call from Er Gouzi, whom I hadn’t seen for a long time. Er Gouzi’s tone was very mysterious: “Brother Ma, it’s your fault. You kept me and Qiangzi from you for so long.” Can hear Qiangzi's loud voice of 'I can't see it'.

My second monk, Zhang Er, was puzzled: "Speak clearly, what are you talking about?"

Er Gouzi said: "We have been playing since we were young, but I didn't even know that you can exorcise ghosts! You are awesome, you have concealed it well. When will you give us a show?"

I wondered: "How do you know?"

Er Gouzi Niu said: "I am also a daoist, I still have some information."

After thinking about it, I understood that Er Gouzi's informant was the aunt of the neighborhood committee, and he must now know everything about what our dating agency did in front of the aunt of the neighborhood committee.

Then it was Qiangzi who was on the other end of the phone, and Qiangzi asked me in a gossip and gloating tone that didn’t fit entrepreneurs: “Brother Ma, I heard that you have recently transformed? You speak softly, like a woman.” Yes, sexual orientation changed too?"

I was dumbfounded at once, thinking to myself, it's over, there will be sequelae to this matter.

Qiangzi and Ergouzi are very familiar with me. They know what kind of person I am, so I just made up a reason and got fooled.

But others are not so easy to fool around. Later, these rumors spread rapidly in the underground society, especially the chicken and fish sellers in the vegetable market, they closed their stalls as soon as they saw me.

Later, Qiangzi, who has a strong business mind, found out that this was a business opportunity and helped me contact a lot of special advertising businesses. Of course, this is another story.

Er Gouzi chatted with me for a while, and finally got back to the topic: "Actually, I have something to ask you."

I asked, "What's the matter? Just say it."

Er Gouzi said: "I have a friend who opened a restaurant and has been losing money. He is almost bankrupt. Come and show him."

I said, "The location of the restaurant is good. If the food is delicious, it will be over. What can I see?"

"You'll know when you come and see, those are not problems." Er Gouzi said: "I guess there is a problem with Feng Shui. You are a master, so you have to see it."

I said tactfully: "How much do you think my advertising company's net worth is now?"

Er Gouzi asked me for something, so he reported a high number: "Five thousand?"

I sighed: "You made a false report again."

Er Gouzi was surprised: "Can't it?"

He didn't understand my current situation. He spent a lot of money to inherit the decoration of the second floor of the small building. Later, he raised a bunch of monsters and ghosts. Incidents happened one after another, which even delayed the business.

I sighed and asked, "Do you still think I have that ability?"

Er Gouzi cares most about loyalty in the world, so he became anxious when he heard me say this, and said: "I have already promised him to invite you over, and I also said that you are my best brother, it is absolutely fine, and it is all about this You can't make me break my promise, can you? If you don't have money, you can also support the show alone, if you can't do it, just walk around and pretend."

I said, "Isn't this a lie?"

Er Gouzi said: "Well, you go, you don't have to pay back the two yuan and five you owed me for the beef noodles last time!"

"Okay, then I'll go! But remember, I'm here for our friendship, not for money." I paused and said, "Remember to order beef noodles next time, with meat added."

"Look at how promising you are." Er Gouzi scolded disdainfully, "You owe me two and a half dollars, and you haven't seen anyone for a few months."

He actually forgot that he lied to me about a meal of mutton skewers and said that he would introduce me to a partner, and finally found me a match with Grandma Li, who had been widowed for 60 years at the street corner.

When Grandma Li came over tremblingly and leaning on a cane, I was speechless, tears were about to come down, and Qiangzi was honorably injured because of this incident—he dislocated his jaw from laughing.

When he hung up the phone, Er Gouzi said: "By the way, remember to bring my full set of game consoles when you come. If you take it on June [-], you will never return it. My nephew still wants me."

I still play game consoles, he doesn't know how rich and exciting my life has been in the past few months, exciting and bumpy.It would be nice to survive.

After Er Gouzi told me the specific address, I put my things in a big backpack and started on the road.

When we arrived at the bus stop at the entrance of Yangming Village, there was a middle-aged man waiting for the bus. He took a dollar in his hand and played with it over and over again.

I stood by and waited for the car, and saw a donkey from afar, showing off, coming slowly.In this day and age, everyone knows that Baolu is an expensive high-end car, especially the model number BT007, which is rare on the market.Perfect streamlined shape, amazing performance, and the three iconic letters 'WTO' unique to Baolu Company stand on the front cover of the car, which is called a cool and handsome, very beautiful!
Even the taciturn Pai Yao praised enviously: "This car is really good, you can fix it for me too."

He never asked for anything, and the moment he opened his mouth, it was heavyweight.I took a deep breath and said quickly: "Bao donkey is not considered cool, I will buy you a bus when I have money, and stop at the bus station at the entrance of the village! Yes, stop here, and hang a four-way bus on it brand. When someone wants to get in the car, I say, sorry, this is a private car. That’s awesome.”

Pixiu said: "What you said makes sense."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Fortunately, this divine beast is not deeply involved in the world, so it's easy to fool around.

While Pixiu and I were talking, the hand of the coin player shook, and the coin fell to the ground with a ding, and rolled to a stop in the middle of the road.

The middle-aged man didn't see the donkey, so he ran over to pick up coins.At this time, the donkey had already driven in front of it, but it was too late to hear the screech of the brakes, and it was about to collide with it, so I yelled: "Pixiu!"

Pixiu dashed out, knocked the young man away, returned to the jade pendant, and warned me: "I'm going to sleep to rest my mind, don't bother me if I have nothing to do."

Paixiu went back and forth this time, in the blink of an eye, even I didn't see it clearly.

Even so, the middle-aged man was hung up by the car and fell to the ground.

"What's going on! What's going on!" The owner got out of the car with a pale complexion, looking at the young man who fell on the ground, very nervous.

This person is very famous, I recognized him immediately, he often appears in the local entertainment newspapers, he is the richest man in the city, his name is Qian Duoduo.No one can estimate how much money he has, but although he has a lot of money, he is outrageously stingy and never spends an extra penny for outsiders. He is nicknamed the invincible iron rooster.

"This, this... how did this happen? You, you, you... are you cheating money? I, I, I... Let me tell you, you don't want to bully the rich! I have practiced I'm not afraid of you!" Qian Duoduo said, digging in his pocket for a long time, apparently looking for a weapon to embolden himself, finally took out a mini nail clipper, pointed at the middle-aged man and said, "Let me check the injury, you Don't move! Don't move! Or I'll attack you!"

The middle-aged man lying on the ground only had his elbow scratched a little, but he was more nervous than the car owner who hit someone. He closed his eyes and shouted: "Brother, don't come here! Don't come here! I understand the rules! If you don't hit him, stab him to death." I kept my eyes closed and didn't see your license plate! Go away! Go away! I will never remember your license plate! I promise! Remember that I am a grandson of a dog!"

The car owner's hand holding the nail clippers was still trembling: "You, you, you... You really are not a fan of porcelain? I have money, but the money is mine, and I won't give it to anyone! Don't force me, or else I don't know what to do on impulse!"

The middle-aged man still closed his eyes and said: "Who dares to do such a high-risk industry as touching porcelain now? Especially if you drive a donkey. I touch your porcelain. I am looking for death. You run over me several times when you get excited. I'm going to heaven!" His voice was already crying, and he closed his eyes and shouted, "Brother! I have seniors and juniors, so please spare my life. I promise you that I will not tell anyone else about today's matter. Say, go quickly! Go wow! Go!!!" He roared out the last sentence in a roaring voice, with a strong Ma Jiaozhu style, affectionate and very touching.

During the entanglement between the two of them, a person in the passenger seat of the donkey cart stuck his head out and looked out, then turned his head to look at me, his eyes lit up as if he had discovered something, he opened the door and got out.

This person is about 40 years old and about 1.8 meters tall. If he had to use one word to describe him, he would be 'round'.

His head is round, his body is round, his hands and feet are short, and his limbs still look round.The whole person looks like the five-linked ring, the symbol of the Olympic Games.Everything is round all over the body!

Such a round body is covered with a red robe that looks like an opera. On the robe is a crane and peony, which wraps the whole person like a ball.Two black eyebrows hang down to the side of the cheeks, the two beards under the nose hang down to the neck, the beard on the chin also hangs down to the chest, the small eyes are as big as mung beans, and when he smiles, he looks kind-hearted.

After walking two steps, Wu Lianhuan began to pant, panting and beckoning to me. He wore a red iron hat with very long brims on both sides, which trembled as he walked.

I looked left and right to see that there was no yin energy on this body, it didn't look like a ghost.It must be a strangely dressed person.

After walking for about ten meters, Wu Lianhuan didn't leave. He sat down on the ground, gasped and said to me, "Come and carry me!"

I looked around, there was no outsider here, he was indeed talking to me.

I'm going to get angry at once, carry you?Who are you!Didn't you see that I was carrying such a big bag behind me?
Wu Lianhuan's attitude is very bad: "Move fast, fast."

I reckoned that this was a relative of Qian Duoduo, who was used to relying on money, and now wanted to play tricks on outsiders, so I wanted to teach him a lesson.So he walked over with a smile, and kicked behind him.

(End of this chapter)