Funny: The Hilarious Life of a Wasted Taoist 2

Chapter 7 Little Ghost (3)
Pixiu said: "Generally speaking, the probability is less than one in [-]."

"But," Yun Mei looked at me seriously, "I believe you, in terms of your ability, it definitely won't be that kind of chance."

I looked around, all the ghosts in the room nodded to me,

My heart became hot, and I asked: "Then if I go out personally, what are the chances of winning?"

Pixiu said, "Probably two parts per billion."

"..." I said, "Then I'd better think about it."

"Uncle Mary," said the Hanged Man, "we'll all miss you if you shit on the brat."

I'm dead, even if you chase me down as one of China's top ten outstanding advertisers, I won't be happy.

Seeing that they still had the energy to persuade me, I quickly waved my hands and said, "The meeting is over, let's talk about it another day."

Then he turned and went back to his own room. The man asked the hanged ghost loudly, "Do you think he can gamble?"

The hanged ghost also said loudly: "Uncle Mary is a noble man! He will definitely gamble!"

It's naive, and you still use aggressive methods. This is a matter of life and death, so I won't be fooled.

I thought they would come to persuade me again at night, so I hid in my room for a day without going out. There was still a stack of unfinished small advertisements in my room, and I counted them one by one, betting, not betting, betting , don't bet, bet, don't bet...

bet? !I haven't married a wife and have no children. If I do such a dangerous thing and die young, all the beauties in the world will cry to death.

Count another pack!
Don't gamble? !That kid is so pitiful...

I'll just count another pack.

As a result, I didn't sleep all night, and the next day I walked out with big dark circles under my eyes. As soon as I went out, all the monsters surrounded the hall, and Sanniang and Yunmei were standing at the door of my room.

The man asked curiously: "Mister Ma, why are your eye circles dark?"

"The company is not easy to open. I am busy with work, no." I said, "I checked the advertising business all night."

Yunmei said: "Horsepower, I..."

I waved my hand and said, "Let me think about that."

"It's not that matter." Yun Mei lowered her head shyly and said, "I'll discuss something with you."

I asked: "What's the matter?"

Yun Mei looked at the little boy standing at the door of the room, her eyes were red: "I...I think it's so pitiful that he has been trapped here for life and death...I want to take him out for a walk and let him see the outside world. world."

I said, "Isn't his corpse nearby, so he can't get out?"

"It turned out to be impossible, but now there are me and the mythical beast Pixiu, combining the mana of the two." Sanniang said with a smile: "If you find a suitable carrier for him to possess, he can go out, but the time is limited. Can't go out for too long."

I asked, "What carrier?"

Sanniang said: "The body of a person with a pure personality."

I said, "Okay, then you can use Reddy Gaga."

Pixiu said: "He can't do it, his brain is damaged, and the possession of a spirit body is too detrimental to his body."

I said, "Then who?"

Everyone looked at me in unison.

The man's head said: "Mistoma, you are a Taoist priest with a psychic physique. He is attached to you, and you may be able to speak."

Everyone thinks I'm naive.I was suddenly relieved, they must have never found the private collection of discs under my bed!
I asked, "Then he used my body, what should I do?"

Yunmei said: "You are a living being, and you have spiritual power, so you can attach to objects, such as bags, clothes, shoes, etc., as long as you cast a spell, no matter what you attach to, you You can see things around you."

clothing?In the blink of an eye, a flash of light came to my mind.

"Everyone has a heart of compassion. Since he has suffered so much, I should do something for him," I said generously, "Okay, just use my body."

Sanniang squinted her eyes and looked at me twice, her lips curled up: "Then brother Ma, what do you want to attach to?"

"I definitely want to go out with you, but I have to attach it to something, in case I accidentally lose it, it must be attached to something very close to you." I looked upstairs, two The underwear of Sanniang and Yunmei was hanging outside the building window. I coughed, looked at the underwear and said, "And that thing should not be too ostentatious. It would be bad if people saw it, so it's better to wear it close to your body. Yes, something more private, something you can feel with your body and skin, so you can’t lose it.”

Yun Meiqi asked: "What is that?"

Sanniang smiled and cursed softly: "Death." Then she opened her fan, covered her mouth, and said a few words in Yunmei's ear, and Yunmei's face turned red instantly.Look at me, and ran upstairs with a shy smile.

No one knows me better than Sanniang, the excitement, the expectation, and the beauty in my heart.

After a while, Yunmei came down from upstairs, handed me a cloth bag, and said with a blushing face: "What you want is close-fitting, private, and something you can feel with your body and skin. Put it on, put it on and go away." Bar."

Whoops, I attach it and wear it, and then leave?
That's all you can say, you shameless little goblin!
I happily opened the cloth bag.

Then my heart suddenly cooled down.

I cried.

There is a pair of insoles in the cloth bag!
I don’t need to go into details about the process of changing the soul and possessing the body. It’s not that I can’t understand it, but it’s too profound, involving soul science, metaphysics, and the law of indestructibility. I'm in a bad mood and I'm not in the mood to say it. Anyway, Sanniang and Pixiu swished a few times, and I was attached to the insole.

Then Yunmei drew a face on the insole, with nose, eyes, ears and mouth, and said to me, "This way you can see, hear and speak."

I thought to myself that I can’t see a stinky foot even if I look at it, but when I look at it, it’s really extraordinary. Even if I throw it on the shoe, I can still see everything, but it’s wider than my original field of vision. a lot of.

At this time, the little ghost was already attached to my body, I saw 'my' blink twice blankly, then looked down at my hand, and shook it twice for sure.

Reddy squatted in front of 'me' and said, "This is not horsepower..."

The hanged ghost asked: "Can you shorten your words?"

'I' opened my mouth and said very dryly: "Say... words...?"

"Sure enough!" Yun Mei clapped her hands, "Just as we imagined, the body of Horsepower is an excellent container!"

Why is it that the people I meet are so shy and reserved when they boast about others, it sounds like they are not boasting.

San Niang asked, "What's your name?"

The little ghost's face immediately turned red, and he didn't speak for a long time.

"Oh..." the man said, "Could it be that he doesn't have a name?"

I said: "Well, since you are in my house, you can follow my surname. The name should be more domineering and auspicious." I thought about it and said, "I think the word Jingtao is good. Le, from now on, your surname will be Ma, Jingtao!"

"Brother Ma, you." Sanniang smiled and said, "You just like to go from one extreme to another. He was originally quiet. Do you want him to roar until he suffocates every day?"

Yunmei said: "I think he is quiet, like a piece of cloud, so why don't we just call him Jack Ma."

The little ghost said: "You just... call me... little ghost...."

Now that the master has spoken, we have nothing to fight for. Yunmei Sanniang cleaned up the little ghost, put me in my shoes, and then pulled Reddy, and we went out.

The hanged ghost waved his head at the door and said goodbye to us: "Have fun..."

It was only when I put it in my shoes that I realized that it was a mistake for Yunmei to draw my facial features. It was enough to draw the eyes, ears and mouth, but what kind of nose!
For the first time I know my shoes are so smelly!
The little ghost went out for the first time in hundreds of years. He was obviously very shy of strangers, hiding behind Sanniang and Yunmei and followed suit.I was shocked when I saw the bus.

Yun Mei asked: "Have you never seen this thing?"

The little ghost said: "Grandpa Ma showed me the pictures, but this is the first time I have seen the real thing."

When he entered the city, the little ghost was dumbfounded just like Grandma Liu entered the Grand View Garden.

There are a lot of people in the city, and the little ghost had suffered from severe psychological trauma. When he saw a lot of people, he was very uncomfortable and always wanted to dodge.However, Yunmei Sanniang, Qiaomei and Meimei were standing beside the two beauties, together with Reddy Gaga, who was bouncing around with a lollipop in his mouth, the eyes of passers-by were never broken.

The kid stayed away for a while.

Reddy turned around and asked, "What's wrong?"

The kid didn't make a sound, but I knew he was scared. His soles were sweating, and I was about to suffocate in my shoes.

Sanniang at the side obviously noticed it, and didn't say anything, but just smiled, stretched out her hand to hold the little ghost's hand, and said, "Let's go."

The little ghost still didn't move, Yun Mei took his other hand again, and smiled softly: "We will show you what the world is like now, don't be afraid, we won't hurt you."

Holding a beautiful woman in one hand, I can feel the jealous eyes of passers-by around me shooting through the soles of their shoes.

Reddy Gaga took out the lollipop in his mouth and stuffed it into the kid's mouth, patted his chest and said, "I'll beat anyone who bullies you!"

The kid still had no expression on his face, but there were tears in his eyes.

I literally cried - it was my body!You put the lollipop you've eaten in my mouth!

The kid was walking on the modern bustling street, he was embarrassed to look at it at first, but then he started to look left and right, seeing everything was new.

As the saying goes, time is a butcher's knife.The little ghost has been killed for hundreds of years at once, and the technology is changing with each passing day, so everything must be novel.There was a child on the road led by his parents, and his eyes were full of longing for them.

Yunmei was walking, when she suddenly saw something, she stretched out her hand to pull Sanniang.The two stood behind.

At this moment, a little girl with braids came running up in front of her. Nowadays, children eat well and wear well, and their skin is supple and beautiful. That little girl has big round eyes, a high nose bridge, and a pink face. Pink and tender, and wearing a small foreign skirt.

The little ghost blushed when he saw him, and stared desperately at him.My heart skipped a beat, this brat won't be lustful.It was just right for him to be courteous to the little girl like that before, but now he is attached to me, that is a man who is going to abduct a child, he must not be regarded as a pervert for doing this!

The little girl also sensed the little ghost's gaze, and stopped to look at the little ghost suspiciously.

The kid was very nervous and swallowed.

The little girl asked, "What do you see me doing?"

The little ghost was embarrassed to answer, but such a beautiful little girl opened her mouth to ask questions, so she couldn't answer, so she said, "You look so good-looking, like a fairy." Then he took out the lollipop in his mouth and stretched it out in front of the little girl, "Here you are."

Yep, I guessed it.

He thought that the lollipop was given to him by Reddy Quack was more precious, but the little girl didn't like his tricks, she was startled, she opened her mouth and cried, crying while running: " Woohoo! Perverted! Lolicon! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"

What a mess!

Pedestrians on the side of the road cast contemptuous glances at my physical body.

My injustice.

The kid stared blankly at his first love who just confessed to him and ran away like that, but he didn't understand what was going on. Reddy Gaga took the lollipop in his hand and stuffed it into his mouth, then patted the kid on the shoulder as comforting , nodded to the kid.

The kid wiped his eyes and said, "Thank you, Uncle."

I can't see that the spiritual world of the two can be connected.

Sanniang suddenly shouted: "You two, you are far away, come quickly."

Only then did I realize that Sanniang and Yunmei were standing in front of a children's clothing store just now.

Yunmei pointed to the store door and said, "Go in and see if you have any clothes and shoes you like, and we'll burn them for you if you buy them." Then she dragged the kid inside.

This kind of thing is really a woman's thoughtfulness.I smiled with relief.

When we entered, a salesperson greeted us and said, "Welcome, do you want to buy boys' clothes or girls' clothes."

"Boy's." Yun Mei picked up a piece of clothing casually, propped it up and compared it to my body, "How is it?"

The clothes looked very small in front of my Ben San's body.

The saleswoman's smile froze: "I think this dress is too small for this gentleman."

If I had an auger, I'd poke my shoe through and go down in the ground!
Sanniang looked while walking: "This one, this one, and this one...forget it." She took out her wallet, took out a gold card, and said, "Wrap up all the clothes in this row for me, and send them to me." to this address."

Rich!I was dumbfounded, and the little ghost quickly said: "Ah, auntie... I don't need so many..."

When the salesperson heard the little ghost called auntie, he looked at Sanniang and me. In the eyes of outsiders, Sanniang must be younger than me no matter what.

Sanniang smiled sweetly, "It's okay, you can change your clothes, Auntie loves you."

The kid blushed, lowered his head and said, "Thank you, Auntie."

Sanniang smiled very sweetly.

The salesperson's face was completely distorted. In her mind, my IQ must have dropped to Reddy Gaga's level.

After leaving the store, Yunmei asked, "Where shall we go next?"

I thought to myself, what's the point, if you bring your kids out, you must go to an amusement park.

"How about going to the amusement park?" Yun Mei asked again.When Reddy heard this, he happily raised his hands and said, "Bumper cars! Bumper cars!"

Speaking of this, he suddenly heard a sound of 'gulululu', and the little ghost said strangely: "What kind of sound."

The rest of them stared at his stomach—what was the sound, the sound of you being hungry.

The kid looked at everyone in confusion.

After being dead for hundreds of years, it means forgetting the feeling of hunger.

"I haven't eaten yet." Sanniang smiled, "Shall we go eat something?"

Since we decided to go to the amusement park soon, we had to make a quick fix for dinner, and there was a Kenkiki next door, so the few of us went in.

It was not meal time, there were not many people inside, Sanniang walked in front, and Xiao Gui followed behind Yunmei.

San Niang said: "Whatever you want, just order."

The order clerk pointed to the list and said, "This is a burger we just served recently. It can be discounted by three yuan with the set meal. You can try it."

The little ghost moved his nose and smelled the smell of meat in the shop, then lowered his head again.

Yun Mei said softly, "You can buy whatever you want."

Then the kid whispered, "I want an egg pancake with chopped green onion."

The corner of the orderer's mouth twitched, and he asked, "Sir, what do you want?"

The little ghost said: "Wowotou is also fine."

How poor is this child's family?

The waiter fell silent.

"It's not the way to order food here." Reddy said with a big wave of his hand, "I want beef with potatoes, no potatoes!"

Yunmei said: "Forget it, I'll order." After ordering, Sanniang took the two of them to find a seat.

I'm suddenly glad I'm an insole now.

Just when I was rejoicing, Reddy quacked and asked, "Don't you eat horsepower?"

The kid let out an oh, then took off his shoes, took me out in full view, and put me in front of a hamburger.Reddy Gaga found three French fries and put them on top of the burger, and bowed reverently.

People around us looked at us like cults.I have been silent, very conscientiously played the role of an insole.

This meal was extremely difficult. In the end, the kid and Reddy Gaga killed four family barrels and six burgers.

After eating, we went directly to the amusement park, and the kid never put me back in the shoes, holding me all the way.

As soon as I saw those exciting projects, I became apprehensive. Sanniang and Yunmei were discussing who would bring the kid to play. I looked at the coolly dressed Sanniang, and then at the virtuously dressed Yunmei. I had already made a decision in my heart. Said: "Don't be too exciting at first, let Yunmei take it."

Yunmei smiled shyly, pulled the little ghost and said, "Okay, then let's go play that first..." Then she pointed at the map of the park with her jade hand.

roller coaster!
Now I know what it means to not look at someone's appearance. I know people, face but not heart. Why did I forget that this guy is a painted skin, and her appearance can't represent her character!

After playing the roller coaster, we went to the pirate ship, and then Yunmei took us to the torrent, spinning the swing and the big spinning top.

The kid still grabbed me and didn't let go. I stood upside down in the air and watched Sanniang who was playing with Reddy Gaga on the merry-go-round with tears streaming down my face.

I played all the way and finally stopped at dusk. I was already dizzy and threw up as soon as I stopped. Someone next to me saw me like this and shouted in surprise: "Oh, look, that insole is spraying water!"

The little ghost still had no expression on his face, but he was sweating from fright when he squeezed my hand.

I said, "I can't see that you are quite strong."

The little ghost looked at me sympathetically and said, "I thought it would be pitiful to be dead, but I didn't expect that after only a few hundred years, living would become so terrible."

Then he looked at the screaming roller coaster and sighed: "It's better to die, it's better to die!"

A couple passed by, and the man said, "Look, they are talking to the insole."

The woman said: "Don't look at it, don't look at it, there are a lot of perverts now."

I fell into a deathly silence here, and I could feel the disgusted eyes of a few people other than the kid.

Sanniang smiled and asked, "Are you having fun?"

Yun Mei continued to say: "It's getting late today, let's go back first, and come back to play again tomorrow."

The little ghost's face turned pale.

You said what are you doing to scare people.

My cell phone was ringing, and Sanniang took it out from Xiaogui. After picking it up, her face darkened, and she said to us: "This is Wang Liang. He said he is on the second floor of the small building."

I said: "It still needs to call us, he is looking for Kong Ting again."

"That's not the point." Sanniang said, "The point is, he said that there was a tall and thin man standing at the door of the small second floor, and he was playing with three dice all the time."

It's a gambler!He has found it!
After a while of silence, I said, "Let's go, let's go back."

Sanniang and Yunmei sighed, and walked forward with Reddy Gaga, while the little ghost walked behind with the insole, walked a few steps, and suddenly stopped moving.

"What's wrong?" The two monsters walking in front looked back.

The little ghost didn't know what he was struggling with in his heart, he squeezed the insole hard, it made me deformed after kneading.

"I..." The kid suddenly made up his mind and said, "I'll come back tomorrow!"

"As long as you don't hand me over to gamblers." The kid said, "You can play these things a few times."

Yun Mei was speechless for a while, and said, "This..."

Sanniang smiled at Yunmei, "You played too much today."

The little ghost lowered his head and stood alone behind him. The old man whose little shadow was illuminated by the setting sun looked very pitiful.

Yun Mei sighed, walked over to touch the kid's head, and said, "It's okay, don't worry."

I felt a burst of moisture all over my body, and when I looked again, the kid was crying, and the tears fell on the insole of my body: "I don't want to go with him... I don't want to go back to the old days... Otherwise you will Kill me, let my soul fly away..."

"Brother Ma." Sanniang looked at me and said, "What is your decision?"

What else can I decide, I looked at the kid and thought, I haven't done anything good in my life, this is considered a harmonious sociology of Lei Feng's good deeds for my son who didn't know when he was born, Jide!

I'm going to fight, bet with him!

(End of this chapter)