FBI mind attack: the super psychological tactics of the US federal police

Chapter 16 Mysterious, unfathomable——FBI's bluff psychological tactics (3)
③Appropriately hand over the right to speak and listen to the voice of the other party.

Conversation and communication should not be just the expression of one party's point of view, but the exchange and integration of the views and opinions of both parties. Both parties should participate in it, and try to maintain harmony and smooth communication.

The FBI believes that if during the conversation, you find yourself expressing more opinions, while the other party speaks less, and your understanding of their thoughts is not deep enough, then you must know that this situation does not have much impact on the development of the matter. big meaning.So you have to do everything possible to let the other party speak, so that you can find the common interests of both parties, prompt the two parties to reach a consensus, and complete the original purpose of the conversation.At this time, you can try to slowly reduce the speed and frequency of speaking, lower the volume when speaking, you can deliberately look at the surrounding environment instead of looking directly at the other person, or you can directly say: "For this question, what do you think? How is it?" Through these methods, you can properly withdraw yourself from the conversation, hand over the right to speak to the other party, and then listen to and understand the other party's intentions, enhance mutual understanding, and make the things you talk about go smoothly.

3. Have "good intentions" and replace criticism with encouragement

In daily interpersonal communication, since one party will give rewards or punishments, gratitude or resentment, in this way, the other party will naturally bear the corresponding emotional response of rewards or punishments, gratitude or resentment.The emotional effect caused by this emotional exchange is the "interpersonal interaction" effect.Due to the existence of this effect, it is difficult for people who are unforgiving or often criticize and speak ill of others to maintain good interpersonal relationships.On the contrary, if you can treat others with tolerance and encourage others with kind and positive words instead of blindly criticizing them, it will be easier for the other party to accept your words and deeds, and even join you because they are grateful to you. of the "camp". The FBI believes that to do this, the following methods must be used:

(1) Be forgiving and forgiving, let the other party feel grateful to you instead of resentful
The FBI reminds people that it is very normal to encounter a lot of stumbling things in daily life. If you feel resentment because of this, it is likely to cause psychological imbalance, and thus do many things that exceed the normal behavior norms, and even violate law, endangering the lives of others.From this we can draw a conclusion that resentment is an extremely abnormal psychological phenomenon, and it is also a very dangerous thing.Because there are all kinds of grievances in society, the hatred between people will become deeper and deeper, and this psychological effect will seriously affect the stability, harmony and stability of society.

"Resentment" comes from a myth in ancient Greece.The protagonist of this story is an ancient strongman named Hercules.He was regarded as a hero by the people at that time, worshiped and respected, so he regarded himself very high.One day, he was walking on a rough path. After walking for a while, he suddenly found a round thing at his feet, like a bag that was bulging because it was full of things.Out of curiosity, he stepped on the thing by the way.Who knew that the bulging bag-like thing, because Hercules stepped on it, not only did not collapse, but it swelled a little more than before it was stepped on.The anger of the "hero" Hercules was immediately ignited. He picked up a large thick wooden stick next to him, and began to beat the round "bag-like object" with all his strength.But what he didn't expect was that this seemingly weak thing continued to swell with Hercules' beating, and the harder the beating, the faster it swelled, and finally swelled into a hill.Hercules was furious, but there was nothing he could do about it.At this time, a wise man came over. The wise man pointed to the "hill" in front of him and told Hercules: "My friend, don't worry about it anymore. This thing is called a "resentment bag". A little bit, but the more you invade it, the more it will expand and fight you to the end!"

The reason this ancient Greek myth wants to tell people is very simple: people have a little resentment in their hearts, and the beginning is very small, and it will not affect daily life and interpersonal communication.As long as you can automatically ignore it, the contradiction will naturally disappear and things will go smoothly; but if you deliberately make an enemy of it and hold on to the resentment in your heart, then you will suffer double retaliation.This is the famous "Heracles effect" in psychology.That said, psychological resentment is likely to make things even more out of hand.

Therefore, in the process of interpersonal communication, the exchange and interaction of rewards and punishments and resentment can be positive and positive, or negative and negative.From the perspective of communication between people: if you help me, I will naturally help you in the future. This is a positive and positive interaction; if you are against me everywhere, let me If you hold a grudge, I will make you unhappy too.Obviously, this kind of interaction is negative and negative, and it is very easy to generate friction and contradictions.

In daily life, friction and conflicts are actually common. If we all maintain the mentality of "an eye for an eye, an eye for an eye", then the resentment in our hearts will be like a balloon that is constantly inflated. In the end, there is a good chance that it will swell out of control and cause chaos.On the contrary, when encountering injustice, if you can "forgive others and forgive others" and let the other party go properly, the other party will feel grateful to you in their hearts, and this kind of gratitude is likely to be used in the future. Helpful for you. When the FBI interrogates certain minor crimes, or first-time offenders without much experience, they usually look for their psychological weaknesses, and then use "emotional reciprocity" to attack them.When the criminal suspect is "tolerant" or "lenient" to the investigators in a certain aspect, he will feel grateful from the bottom of his heart, and then in order to repay this lenient kindness, he will often provide investigators with compensation. important information.

Anne Swechin once said: "The human heart always has the power of tolerance." So the power of tolerance in people's daily life is that it can easily eliminate the differences between people. Alienation, contempt, etc., change punishment into reward, change resentment into gratitude, cleanse people's hearts, and eliminate many misunderstandings and contradictions in communication.

(2) Use critical language with caution and combine encouragement with criticism

The FBI believes that after people take actions, if they understand and evaluate the consequences of their actions, then this understanding will further strengthen the previous behaviors, thus prompting people to have more similar previous behaviors.This is the psychological effect of encouragement.Behaviors that are encouraged, if they are positive, are continued for greater progress.Contrary to this situation, if people's behavior is negatively evaluated, that is, they are criticized by others, people will actively adjust their behavior to make it move in the right direction.It can be seen that proper encouragement and criticism can make people progress.

In psychological research, there are also cases where "encouragement" and "criticism" are the research objects, that is, "classic feedback experiment": when you are faced with two choices, one is to be praised by others, and the other is to be severely criticized by others. Criticism, which one would you prefer to choose?Obviously, most people in a normal state will choose to accept praise; then in another situation, which one would you choose between being severely criticized by others or being ignored by others?Many people may think that avoiding being criticized should be the first choice of most people, but in fact the result is completely opposite to people's predictions.

In order to prove the above conclusions, psychologist Herlock designed a classic feedback test.The subjects of the experiment were 106 primary and middle grade students in a certain school.The psychologists divided these children into four groups. These four groups of experimental subjects had to perform the same experimental tasks every day, that is, 15 minutes of addition exercises every day, and the difficulty of the exercises in the four groups was the same, and then continued for 5 days. time.The only difference during this period is that after each exercise, the psychologist will look at the completion of the four groups of children, and then give completely different evaluation methods.

The first group of elementary school students who participated in the experiment will be praised by the psychologist no matter what the result is after finishing the daily exercises, so they are called the praised group.

The second group of primary school students participating in the experiment will be criticized to varying degrees no matter how well they do the exercises, so they are called the criticized group.

The third group of elementary school students who participated in the experiment, although the practice questions they did will be checked, will not receive any evaluation, but they will just listen to the praise or criticism received by the students of the other two groups, so this group is evaluated. Known as the ignored group.

The fourth group of primary school students who participated in the experiment will not only not get their homework checked, but will also not get any good or bad evaluation after finishing their daily exercises.Also, they would not hear any praise or criticism from the other groups, so the fourth group was called the quarantined group.

After five days of continuous practice, the psychologist conducted a final test on the learning outcomes of the four groups of students.The final test results show that the progress of the first three groups is more obvious than that of the last group, and among the three improved groups, the first group, that is, the commended group, has achieved the highest grades.But there is also a puzzling situation, that is, the results of the criticized group, compared with the other two neglected groups, improved faster than these two groups.

For this phenomenon, the designer of the experiment, Herlock, made the following explanation: psychologists evaluate the students' practice results, and this evaluation is the feedback of their hard work every day. Both are a kind of feedback effect, and neither the neglected group nor the isolated group received direct evaluation, so there is no feedback phenomenon.Therefore, due to the feedback received, these students can make a certain understanding and self-assessment of their own learning, and this self-assessment can further promote their own behavior. This is the "feedback effect" in psychology. ".

From this classic feedback experiment, we can know that the effect of praise is obviously better than that of criticism, but the effect of criticism is also more obvious than that of ignoring.This kind of conclusion is applied in people's daily interpersonal communication, that is, encourage and praise others a lot, criticize appropriately, and don't ignore the feelings of others.

The FBI believes that in the process of interpersonal communication, silence is actually a manifestation of rustiness and indifference, and it is actually of no benefit to enhancing communication with others.For example, when the words and deeds of your friends are inappropriate, if you follow the creed of "silence is golden" and act as if you have not heard or seen without making any evaluation, then the relationship between you is likely to be caused by this strangeness. And as you go farther and farther away, you will eventually become strangers, or one day you will finally be unbearable and explode, and then the two parties will fall into an incompatible situation.In any case, silence is not a good way, so when faced with this situation, you should bravely put forward different opinions, question and criticize their inappropriate behavior.In this way, your friends will feel your sincerity, and then improve their behavior, and the relationship between the two parties will be closer.In the same way, if a friend has behaviors worth learning from you, you should also clearly offer encouragement and praise, which can also further develop the relationship between the two parties.

Therefore, in interpersonal communication, whether it is positive or negative feedback, it is an important way for people to interact and communicate emotionally.Encouragement and criticism are common means of feedback, which can enable both parties to clarify each other's strengths and weaknesses, enhance consensus, deepen feelings, and establish a stable interpersonal relationship.Therefore, the FBI reminds people that in the process of daily interpersonal communication, it is necessary to use more means of encouragement to win the favor of the other party, and at the same time, it can also use criticism appropriately to win the trust of others.You must know that the combination of these two methods and proper use can make the other party let go of their guard and accept their own opinions and viewpoints more easily, thereby helping you improve your interpersonal relationship and establish a wide network of contacts.

4. The FBI uses tactics of attacking the mind to subtly resolve the opponent's repulsive psychology
In many cases, the suspects encountered by the FBI are quite cunning and stubborn tough people, and persuasion and reasoning are generally useless to them.Every time this happens, the FBI will adopt psychological tactics to defuse the suspect's psychological barrier and sense of rejection, and then obtain valuable information needed to solve the case.

Usually, in order to achieve this goal, the FBI will use the following methods:

(1) Appropriately show weakness
FBI psychological experts believe that there is a phenomenon in human society, that is, the natural sympathy for the weak.Adults use language to communicate, but babies use crying to express their emotions.

Babies' crying is a powerful weapon for them to show weakness. It's not just saying "I'm hungry" or "I'm not feeling well", but more often they want adults to play with them, hold them, or touch them. They, let them feel the deep love.This "crying" language is their way of declaring their weakness to adults, telling them that they need comfort and warmth from others.Conversely, babies who don't cry or cry very little may attract less attention from adults.In many cases, adults also think that it is a good thing for babies not to cry or make noise, but because of this, adults are likely to ignore or forget the conditions of these babies.That's why people often say: "A crybaby gets milk".In other words, crying children can attract the attention of others, and can arouse the desire of adults to protect and take care of them, so as to obtain more love and comfort.

This phenomenon does not only exist in the human world, but in nature, contrary to the iron rule of "the strong prey on the weak", is the phenomenon of "survival of the weak".

On the beaches of Australia, there are two kinds of blue crabs, one is more fierce, usually they do not know how to dodge and avoid when encountering danger, but only know to face it head-on, while the other is relatively gentle, and when encountering danger When facing a strong enemy, there is little resistance, try to dodge or turn over, and pretend to be dead to the end, no matter how much the enemy bites or steps on them, they will lie there motionless.These two kinds of blue-shelled crabs have been undergoing thousands of years of evolution, and now there is an interesting phenomenon: because the more fierce blue-shelled crabs do not know how to avoid danger, the number has become smaller and smaller, and it has become the world's largest crab. An endangered species; in contrast, the weaker blue crab has thrived and is now found not only on beaches in Australia, but across oceans and oceans around the world.Zoologists have given an explanation for this interesting phenomenon: because of the aggressiveness of the strong blue crabs, the number of them has dropped sharply in the mutual killings with their companions. First, nearly half of the crabs perished by themselves, and then And because they don't know how to avoid danger, they are wiped out or eaten by natural enemies in large numbers, resulting in fewer and fewer numbers, and are on the verge of extinction. On the contrary, although another kind of blue crab is weak, this "weak" But it has protected itself very well, enabling it to thrive to this day.

Psychologists explain this phenomenon as "the advantage of showing weakness".That is to say, if you are competitive in everything and blindly pursue it to the end, it is easy for you to hit your head and blood without achieving any substantive results; if you show weakness to your opponent at the right time, it will be easier to be accepted by others.Therefore, when doing things, those who know how to seize the opportunity to show weakness appropriately will be the final winners.

(End of this chapter)