FBI mind attack: the super psychological tactics of the US federal police

Chapter 17 Mysterious, unfathomable——FBI's bluff psychological tactics (4)
In order to further confirm the human mentality of giving way to the weak, the American Association for Psychological Research conducted such an experiment: let a strong and huge man cross the congested road with traffic, and at this time, he is willing to take the initiative to give The big man gave way to less than 50% of the vehicles. Under such circumstances, it is obviously very easy to have a car accident; then, the psychologist asked an elderly volunteer to cross the road with traffic, but there were many vehicles. It can actively slow down or even stop to give way to the elderly.In response to this situation, psychologists conduct interviews with passing drivers to understand their psychological conditions.Drivers generally believe that a burly man is strong and able to cope with sudden unexpected situations, so they don't have to pay too much attention to giving way to them. People will feel that they are doing good deeds in their hearts when avoiding the elderly. The probability of a car accident is almost zero.

It can be seen from this that the two phenomena of "strong" and "weak" often have diametrically opposite effects in interpersonal communication: when encountering an opponent that is difficult to deal with, being too tough will make you fall into a passive position. If you have a high status, you may not be able to obtain the results you want; but showing weakness to the opponent at the right time may make the opponent feel unbearable and show mercy.In this way, it is possible to obtain the desired results.

Just imagine, what is the state of your relationship with your friends? Have you ever voluntarily cried out to your friends about your inner anxiety and distress?When you cry, your friends will feel your weakness and uneasiness, your inner loneliness and your desire to be comforted by others, so your friends will not only despise and laugh at you, but will feel happy and satisfied because they can comfort you. This brings you closer to your friends.

Being able to give other people spiritual comfort and soothe their wounds is something that makes everyone feel happy and satisfied. Therefore, many people take advantage of the human nature of sympathizing with the weak to obtain what they might not otherwise have. benefits and achievements.

As the saying goes, "big trees are easy to break, but weak grass is tough."The same is true of people's hearts, because people tend to have strong guard against those who seem to be strong or have outstanding abilities, but they have sympathy for weak people.Therefore, in daily interpersonal communication, don't always be in a strong state, do everything possible to show your superiority, in fact, it is easy to make enemies and arouse resistance from people around you.On the contrary, if you can take the initiative to lower your posture and show weakness to others, it will weaken others' defense against you, make it easier for you to gain sympathy and approval from others, win support and help, and enable yourself to obtain more benefits and achieve fruitful results. the results.

(2) Use "self-deprecating" to get out of trouble

In daily study, work and life, people's communication is sometimes in an embarrassing or dilemma situation.So, when we unfortunately encounter this situation, how should we deal with it so that we can get rid of the embarrassing situation and appear generous and decent?For this situation, the FBI has summed up an experience from dealing with various types of criminals, that is, the use of self-deprecation can effectively help you get out of the predicament chicly, even without showing any traces.

First, self-deprecation is actually a concrete manifestation of a person's self-confidence.

Self-deprecating is to make fun of oneself, to "make fun of" one's own shortcomings or weaknesses, so as to win the laughter of everyone and resolve the embarrassing and tense atmosphere.If a person does not have an optimistic character, an open mind, and an attitude of being detached from the world, there is absolutely no way to use himself as a tool to entertain others.People who can laugh at themselves and dare to laugh at themselves know very well in their hearts that no matter how they ridicule themselves, their own superiority is a well-known fact, and it will never reduce their own abilities, so they dare to "reveal their own scars".Therefore, this is actually an expression of open-mindedness and self-confidence.

Second, you can increase your sense of humor with the help of self-deprecating.

It is said that the wife of the famous ancient Greek philosopher Socrates was a well-known shrew who often lost her temper with Socrates, but Socrates didn't mind at all.Once, his neighbors laughed at him, saying that his wife was too fierce and he was a coward who was afraid of his wife.Socrates was not angry because of this, but said to the neighbor: "This shows that I have found a good wife, so that I can exercise my endurance and improve my self-cultivation."

Obviously, Socrates should be quite embarrassed at this moment of being directly poked by others, but he took the neighbor's words and satirized himself in a self-deprecating tone, which not only saved himself from the embarrassing atmosphere Come out, but also showed his good personality of broad-mindedness and witty humor.

Third, self-deprecation can quickly resolve the awkward atmosphere and change the atmosphere of communication.

In the process of daily study, work and communication with others, it is inevitable that there will be some embarrassing scenes.If such a situation occurs, when the people around you are difficult to deal with, borrowing self-deprecation can often help you find the steps smoothly, and use light humor to resolve the embarrassing atmosphere and bring people's attention back to the original on the topic.Not only that, usually people will magnify and exaggerate their own defects when they laugh at themselves, which can also show a person's sincere and frank character, and it is easier to win the support and trust of others.

Lincoln, the former president of the United States, was ugly, but he was not ashamed of it. Instead, he often used this to make a fuss and defuse personal attacks on him one by one.

Once at a mass gathering, President Lincoln was invited to speak, but he was embarrassed to refuse, so he reluctantly told a short story: One day, he was walking on the street, and a lady came to meet him, and she looked at Lincoln’s body carefully. face, and then said to him: "Sir, you should be the ugliest man I have ever seen." Lincoln was not angry, but replied: "Madam, I can't help it, see if you can give me some advice Is it?" The lady thought carefully for a long time before saying, "Then you can always stay at home."

After telling the story, Lincoln sat down. At this time, the people present were stunned for a moment, and then began to applaud Lincoln's witty answer.

Another time, Lincoln disagreed with Douglas over a matter, and the two quarreled in the White House office.Douglas angrily accused Lincoln of having a problem with his work style. He said one thing and did another, and he was a man with two faces.At this time, Lincoln pointed to his face and responded: "Douglas said that I have two faces, so please see, if I really have two faces, I still need to wear such an ugly face." Come to meet everyone?" After finishing speaking, everyone present burst into laughter, and even Douglas couldn't help laughing out loud.

It can be seen that in daily life, the role of self-deprecation is not small.But it should be noted that everything should be within a certain range and cannot be overdone, and the same is true for self-deprecating.Although self-deprecating can relieve tension, resolve embarrassing situations, and even win the recognition and favor of others for yourself, if you laugh at yourself frequently, or if you laugh at yourself too deliberately, it will leave a bad impression on others that you don't respect yourself enough.And a person who does not respect himself, of course, cannot be respected by others.

Psychologists remind people that when using self-deprecating skills, one must pay attention to the difference between self-deprecating and self-deprecating, especially not to make fun of one's own advantages, otherwise it is likely that others will think that you are deliberately belittling yourself, or deny others' respect for you. Your ability to judge your merits will cause embarrassment to others and make the atmosphere even more discordant.

(3) Use the "cold treatment" method to make the other party relax

Everyone knows that when a metal workpiece is heated to a certain extent, it must be immersed in cold water for cooling treatment - only in this way can the final produced metal workpiece have stable performance and better quality.This method applies the "cold treatment" principle in physics.And this "cold treatment" method can also be extended to the way of dealing with problems.That is to say, when people encounter difficult and difficult problems, they can temporarily ignore them, put them aside, and deal with them after a period of time. better.

FBI investigators once encountered such a case:
After arresting the suspect of drug trafficking, he could not be convicted due to lack of direct evidence. After being held for a period of time, the FBI had to release the suspect.However, in order to thoroughly investigate the case, the FBI did not divert the attention and investigation of the suspect, but everything was done in secret, and the suspect did not feel it.For a period of time after he was released, the criminal suspect paid great attention to his own image and kept a high degree of vigilance at all times, fearing that he would show his feet inadvertently.But after a period of time, he found that no FBI investigators came to his door, and even the surroundings were so quiet that even the police never appeared, so he gradually relaxed his vigilance.After a while, he finally determined that he was completely free, and there was no external force to restrict or interfere with his behavior, so he finally acted again and started selling drugs in and out of nightclubs.But when he handed over the drugs to the transaction partner, before his hands touched the cash, the handcuffs of the FBI investigators had already handcuffed him-all the stolen goods.

Obviously, FBI investigators used the "cold treatment" method.

In the process of daily interpersonal communication, we often fall into conflicts and quarrels.Generally speaking, when the other party quarrels with you because of impulsive emotions, there are usually three purposes: one is to overwhelm you in momentum and make you retreat due to fear; the other is to provoke you; the third is to want to Take the opportunity to vent your anger.Under such circumstances, if both parties to the quarrel are very agitated and their emotions are difficult to control, the quarrel will get out of hand, and there may even be a violent fight in the end.At this time, if one of the parties can treat it with a calm attitude, then the quarrel will not happen and the matter can be resolved as soon as possible.

After the death of Mary, wife of the great thinker Engels, Engels was very sad and longed for the love and support of others, so he wrote a letter to his old friend Marx, expressing his inner distress and sorrow, and expressing his hope between the lines. Can comfort him.At that time, Marx’s own situation was also very bad, and all kinds of difficult things made him burnt out, so when he wrote back to Engels, he only wrote one sentence to express his grief for Mary’s death, and then began to express it their own pain, and describe their distressed situation.After reading the reply, Engels was very angry, and wrote another letter to Marx, expressing that he would break up with this old friend who had fought together for more than 20 years.After reading this letter, Marx was very angry, but he suppressed his inner anger, began to calmly think about the reasons, and then wrote a letter to apologize to Engels, sincerely expressing his condolences to Engels' wife and sympathy for Engels.Engels was moved by Marx's sincerity after reading the letter, so the two reconciled.

From the above examples, we can draw the conclusion that when a quarrel occurs, what is most needed is calmness and restraint, instead of treating "quarrel" as a weapon to attack the other party.If the conflict has really occurred, then you can properly leave a "blank" as a buffer part, so that both parties who are emotionally agitated can calm down, and after a period of time, think and discuss the problem with clear thinking, so It is easy to resolve the contradiction.

In fact, this "cold treatment" method is not only applicable to interpersonal communication, but also a buffer method and an effective psychological technique when we deal with various difficult problems.Especially in the workplace, this is a good and effective way to deal with problems.

As far as promotion is concerned, as a supervisor, you want to promote a certain person's position. At this time, someone with a higher position than you intercedes, or recommends someone, or even directly uses the power in your hand to force you submit.Although the candidate in your mind is not this person, you don't want to offend your boss.At this time, "cold treatment" is the best method.In other words, you can temporarily freeze the position you want to promote, put it aside for a while, and wait for a while to pick a few suitable candidates yourself.

When people deal with things, they can generally be divided into two types. One is the impulsive type, who reacts quickly but makes more mistakes when dealing with things; the other is the deliberate type, who reacts slowly, But with fewer errors.These two types of people have their own advantages and disadvantages when working, but using the method of "cold treatment" can balance the advantages of these two types of people and achieve the most perfect balance.Therefore, sometimes, people may wish to use the method of "cold treatment".

(End of this chapter)