Thank you for making me who I like

Chapter 20 Facing life gracefully and brightly is because of you (5)
Finally, I have a secret I want to share with you.In fact, that little freckle on your face is not obvious at all, and upon closer inspection, it is very cute.Don't be afraid of being too ordinary among the flowers, each flower has its own opening posture.Dress yourself according to the suitable style you like. Only with outstanding temperament can people remember it.Try to learn to grow, but don't rush to mature, every age has beauty that cannot be copied, you just need to cherish and live the present.Four years is enough for you to transform yourself into the person you want to be the most in your heart.

Dear Junior Sister, I wish you a wonderful and memorable four years.

your sister
The landline number of the healing department
big bird kiki
For a while, I always dreamed repeatedly at night, dreaming of a junior high school boy H.

H is not tall, nor is he outstanding in appearance, just handsome.His grades are not top-notch, and he doesn't like to speak very much at ordinary times. Occasionally, he is called up by the teacher to answer questions. He always thinks for a long time, and then tells the teacher calmly, I don't know.He speaks softly and walks slowly.Sometimes when he was going to be late for class in the morning, and everyone else was rushing all the way to the classroom, he would still keep a constant speed and walk all the way to the classroom at a leisurely pace.Occasionally, I would ask him anxiously, why don't you run, you are going to be late.He would walk forward according to the existing pace, while saying blankly, what is there to run.Occasionally, naughty boys in the class would laugh at him, but he just smiled and never saw him get angry.I remember that there was a girl in the class who probably had a crush on him, and pushed his books to the ground several times a day, and he picked them up every time and dusted them off, but never saw him blushing and scolding.

I wonder why I pay so much attention to him.He is really a very unremarkable person.

After graduating from junior high school, I never saw him again.

10 years have passed, I ran into an old classmate by chance, and he asked me, do you remember H?I said, remember.He said, H is really amazing. He studied in a prestigious school in Shanghai as an undergraduate, and later went to Hong Kong to study as a graduate student.I asked him, what is H doing now?He said that he stayed in his hometown and occasionally speculated in stocks.This guy doesn't even have a cell phone.When I ran into him on the street once, he gave me a landline number, saying that I would definitely be able to find him by calling this landline.I wrote down the number.I don't know why, but over the years, I feel like H hasn't changed at all.

One day after get off work, I dug out the phone book, saw the landline number, and had a sudden thought: If I called him, would it be possible to find him as H said?
Powerful curiosity drove me to dial that number.When the phone was answered, it seemed to be the same slow voice 10 years ago, lazy and indifferent.He didn't seem surprised by my sudden call, nor did he seem bothered by my clichéd questions.For example, why didn’t he stay in Hong Kong after graduation? He said he didn’t adapt to the climate there; what plans he had in the future, he said he would take it one step at a time; which city he would go to develop in the future, he said he hadn’t figured it out yet; asked him why he didn’t have a mobile phone , he said that it seems that there is no need for that.He doesn't surf the Internet very much, trades stocks at home, and doesn't go out much, so the phone is enough.

Everything sounds so logical.Maybe it would be incredible to change someone else, but I suddenly understood.In fact, these problems are not a problem for him.He is the only classmate who has kept me curious for so many years.I am very glad that I got his landline number, which allowed me to solve the long-standing mystery in my heart.He didn't say anything, but he seemed to say everything.

There is really a type of people in this world who will always maintain the same rhythm and are difficult to be influenced by external things, because they don't have much desire and plan.We always want to fill up all our time, including the time in the future, and then have to race desperately against time because we have not completed the set goals.We are anxious about all kinds of things, we are anxious about not accomplishing yesterday’s goals, we are anxious about not making plans for the future, we are anxious about being eliminated by this world, we are anxious about wasting our lives and time... In this kind of anxiety, I spent many years in fear all day long.

I think the reason why I paid so much attention to H back then may be because of a kind of envy from the bottom of my heart, but I didn't know it at the time.At that time, I was so fragile and full of insecurity. Being late, taking exams, being distracted in class and being called up by the teacher to answer questions... These seemingly insignificant things seemed to be the root of my nightmares.I took too much burden to take the middle school entrance examination, take the college entrance examination, take part in the work, and participate in the life that everyone takes for granted-they call it a happy, reasonable, and fulfilling life.

They said what to do, I'm 25 years old and haven't found a boyfriend yet; what to do, I'm almost 30 years old, and I haven't married myself yet; Unanimously believe that in this world, if someone does not arrange their lives according to the conventional procedures, it is incredible, whether it is for others or for themselves.

Later, I never dreamed of H again; later, I was no longer anxious about many things; later, when I was unhappy, I would always call out that phone number.Because I know that I will be able to find him.

Aroma on Mango Street

Sandra Cisneros
Tired dad waking up in the dark

Your grandfather passed away, and one morning, my father came to my room and said he was gone.After speaking, as if he had just heard the news, he shrunk up like a coat and cried, my brave father cried.I've never seen my dad cry and don't know what to do.

I know he's leaving, he's going to fly to Mexico, and all the uncles and aunts are going to be there.They would snap a black-and-white photo of a lance-shaped bouquet of flowers in a white vase next to a cemetery.In that country, people bid farewell to the dead just like that.

Since I'm the oldest, Dad told me first, and now it's my turn to tell everyone else.I'll explain why we can't play, and I'll tell them to be quiet today.

My dad, who rose wearily in the dark, dipped his hair, drank his coffee, and usually left before we woke, was sitting by my bed today.

I thought, what would I do if my own dad died.So I held Dad in my arms, and I wanted to hug and hug and hug him.

塞尔
I can't remember when I noticed he was looking at me, Sale, but I knew he was.Every time I pass by his house, he keeps watching.He and his friend were in front of the door, sitting on a bicycle tossing coins.They didn't scare me, but they did, and I wouldn't let them know.I don't cross the street like other girls, I walk over, straight ahead, straight eyes, I know he is watching.I want to prove to myself that I am not afraid of anyone's eyes, not even his.I wanted to look back hard, just for one look, as if it was a piece of glass, so I did that.I took a look, but I looked too long, as he rode past me, maybe because I wanted to be brave, and kept looking into the gray cat fur over his eyes.The bike came to a stop and hit a parked car, and I sprinted away.

Someone looking at you like that makes your blood freeze.Some people look at me, some people look at me.But that's who he is, and he sees it that way.He's a little bastard, Dad said.Don't talk to him, Mom said.

Then his girlfriend came and I heard him call her Royce.She was beautiful and petite and smelled of baby skin.I saw her sometimes go to the store to buy things for him, and once she stood beside me in Mr. Binney's shop.She was barefoot, and I saw that the baby toes on the bare feet were painted a light pink, like little pink shells.She also smells pink, like a baby.She had the hands of a big girl, but her bones were slender like a woman's, and she wore makeup.But she can't tie her shoes, and I can.

Sometimes late, I still hear them laughing, beer cans and cats meowing, and trees whispering: wait, wait, wait.Sometimes they walk together and I watch them.She held his hand, and he sometimes stopped to tie her shoelaces.My mother said that such a girl is a girl who will get into the alley and mess around.Lois, who couldn't tie her shoes, where did he take her?
Everything in me was holding its breath, everything was waiting to bloom like Christmas.I want to be a new version of me, I want to sit out in the dark at night with a boy around my neck and the wind blowing under my skirt.Not like this, talking to the tree every night, leaning over and looking out the window, imagining things I can't see.

Once, a boy hugged me tightly, and I swear, I felt the grip and weight of his arms, but it was in a dream.

Searle, how did you hold her like this?when did you kiss her

four thin trees
They are the only ones who understand me, and I am the only one who understands them.

Four skinny trees with slender necks and pointed elbows, like me—the four that don't belong here but are here, the four that the municipality planted to make up for it.I could hear them from my room, but Renee just slept and couldn't appreciate them.

Their power is a secret.They spread their ferocious root system underground, they grow up and down, they grip the earth with their hairy toes, they bite the sky with their fierce teeth, and their rage never slackens.That's how they persist.

If one forgets its reason for being, they'll all droop like tulips in a glass vase, arm in arm.Hold on, hold on, hold on, Tree said as I fell asleep.

When I'm too sad and too thin to hold on any longer, when I'm so small against so many bricks, I look at the tree.The four trees that are still growing despite the cement, the four trees that stretch, stretch, never forget to stretch, the four trees whose only reason is to exist, to exist.

a city in my heart
Anonymous
Never underestimate the weight of a city in a woman's heart, because it is not only a vague impression, but also a person who lives in the heart for a long time, a distant but shallow memory, a moment of tranquility and love under the afternoon sun. serene.

Every woman's bones are deeply engraved with a clear imprint left by a city that grew up with her.Although the roads are not so wide and the houses are small in this city, when you lose your way again and again and don’t know where to go next, you will always find the intersection in those deep and winding alleys.

This person is so important in our hearts, so the cities that accompany him one by one can also be connected into a beautiful landscape on the map.Every corner of the city, or those ravines that pass by by chance, are indelible years.However, they followed him with peace of mind, looking for reasons to need each other in these strange cities.Thinking about it, she really has the heart of a girl.I just want to be by his side. In such a city, there are no familiar faces around, but I can clearly feel that he is by my side and I am by his side, just like the scenes that often appear in movies.Gradually, this city has an unusual meaning because of such a person.

However, there is a city destined to belong to us.Maybe we have long forgotten why, we left that person forever or briefly, and came to this remote town alone.From the moment we arrived here, we felt like we were alive again, that the past was just a shadow behind a cloud.You find that you love the quiet and warm sunshine in this small town in the afternoon.At this age, because of this strange and stable town, because of the smiling children or old people in this city, you will feel that you are growing up every day.

I have always wondered why I rely so much on these ancient or prosperous cities.A word from a friend made me suddenly understand why a city is so important.It turns out that we have such a city in our hearts, and we have arranged various small emotions in different corners, what kind of men we want to meet, and what words to say.It's just that one day the city in my heart suddenly collapsed, no longer existed, or became out of reach.In this way, all illusions about beauty are lost, and the castle that can be willful, sad, happy, and avoid all eyes is lost.So in reality, this city that will never disappear is not so important to us.

In fact, we have already built a city in our hearts, and we sit safely in a corner, waiting for the passage of time.

best time at 17

Aiko
I just read a nostalgic post the day before yesterday, to the effect that I was talking about my 17-year-old dream and my current situation.I watched "Sunshine Sisters Amoy" yesterday.

I think everyone can find a little bit of themselves in "Seven Princesses". With this sense of substitution, when watching movies, you can better understand the nostalgia and touch that the director wants to express.

When I was 17 years old, like the girl in the film, I didn’t like studying very much. I liked to play wildly with my friends; fight with girls who have festivals; follow boys I like; I would have conflicts with teachers; I was anxious when I first entered a new class ;It will be very sad to have a fight with a good friend...

Looking back now, many things that would knock me down at that time, things that would make me toss and turn, things that would make me sad and cry, are not big things.But why at that time when I had a quarrel with my good friend and turned around and ignored each other, I felt in my heart that the sky seemed to be falling down?
I think it's because we had "pureness" at that time.

I have read a sentence: When I was young, happiness is a very simple thing; when I grow up, simplicity is a very happy thing.Growth has made us mature a lot and gained a lot of experience, but it also deprives us of our "purity".I really resist growing up, I try my best to grasp the tail of youth, I also want to look at the world with the eyes of a girl, and face the test of this world like a girl.

The fragments in the movie are stories that each of us has experienced more or less, and there is one of the most indispensable parts in those stories-we have all had awesome dreams.

What was your dream when you were 17?
In the film, Nami, who dreams of becoming a painter or singer, becomes a full-time housewife; Chunhua, who used to be the captain of Sunny (the name of the singing group in the film), becomes a strong woman, but time is running out; For a wealthy wife, she behaves elegantly when she is not with friends; Rose, who has always been obsessed with double eyelids, has become an insurance planner but her performance is dismal; Miss Korea's Bok Hee was reduced to a bar girl because of her poor family; Suzy, the most beautiful and temperamental, who became a graphic model in middle school but got scratched on her cheek, has not appeared for a long time...

When I was 17, I had many dreams: to be with my favorite senior forever, to be a writer, to be a star.But now, I have not been in touch with my seniors for a long time, and I have not written for a long time. I silently dive into the gossip group to "appreciate" various revelations of various stars.I didn't achieve the dream I had when I was 17, but it doesn't mean I can't have other dreams, nor does it mean I don't have the ability to realize them.

I can have new dreams and work on them, and I can have new loves.I don't have a sketch that I can give to my senior 25 years later, but there will always be a gap in my memory for him. Sunny can start a new life after 25 years, why can't I who is not yet 25?

When it comes to Sunny being able to start their new lives, I have to thank Chunhua, the most stylish big sister.Not everyone has ever joined a small group, and not every small group has a hot-tempered eldest sister like Chunhua, but I think everyone and their good friends will be like Chunhua and others, sincere , unity, friendship.The sentence that left the deepest impression on me is "If you touch one of us, you touch all of us." We will do our best to help our friends when they are in trouble, right?
It would be a very happy thing if I could have a few friends who would accompany me to "revenge" after my daughter was bullied.

"No matter how much time you spend together, it can't compare to the years when you were stupid together." If you still remember your 17 years old, and you will occasionally recall this softest time, then cheer up and work hard to live well , to meet the next more 17 years.

The most important thing is, while you are still alive, cherish your time, your lover, and your friends.

(End of this chapter)