90 days of cultivation temperament goddess

Chapter 28 Big woman mentality, calm and beautiful life (1)
For a woman, it is better to live well than to be born well, grow well, marry well.

Living beautifully and happily is king!
The most important thing for a woman is her mentality. Only by winning her own heart can she win the future, beauty and happiness.

It's not worth it if you're unhappy about one or the other little things every day.Remember: a big heart is a small matter, and a small heart is a big thing.

You must be a big woman, relax your body and mind, don't worry about your age, and actively adjust yourself, the soldiers will block you, and the water will cover you. Only in this way can you live a happy life.

The present era is an era when women need to take more responsibility
I don’t need to tell you that this era is an era when women need to take more responsibility. Whether it’s a housewife, a female manager, or a female scholar, while working as hard as men, we also have to bear children, do housework, take care of our husbands, Serving in-laws can be said to be exhausting and laborious.Women who focus on work will encounter greater difficulties than men and form greater psychological pressure than men.A successful woman has to work several times more than a man to satisfy all aspects of work and family, so women can be said to be physically and mentally exhausted.

You must have complained about this reality for a long time. I understand your complaint, and it probably goes something like this:
Like men, we work hard in the workplace. Doing housework, taking care of children, and dealing with various family and social relationships are still our business. Men only need to go to work and handle their colleagues and social relationships well, while women need to worry There are too many things to coordinate.

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But we cannot escape from this era, we can only balance.

In my opinion, if modern women want to live a wonderful life, they must know how to take care of both beauty and independence, self-interest while altruism, tradition while fashion, family while working hard, and so on.details as follows:
First, both traditional and modern

As a modern woman, one must have modern consciousness and open consciousness.We must be good at accepting new ideas, new concepts, and new trends in modern society, and keep up with the pace of the times.If you are too traditional and conservative, you will become a laggard of the times.As a modern professional woman in China, she must have traditional virtues at the same time.We should inherit and carry forward the ideological connotation of female virtues in the traditional Chinese culture.For example, respecting the elderly, being diligent and thrifty at home, being virtuous and kind, being a good wife, being loyal to love and marriage, etc. These are always the virtues that we women should possess, and we cannot discard them.

Second, both career and family

Being ambitious and making achievements in career reflects the social value of a woman.The stronger a woman's career, the greater her career achievements, the greater her social value.This is the evaluation standard in today's society, and it is also an important guarantee for the independence of women's personality.

However, as women, it is impossible for us to devote ourselves wholeheartedly to our careers.Because we have to take care of the family, take care of the children, the husband, the elderly.Mr. Yu Qiuyu once quoted a sentence from the famous German playwright Lessing in the book "Frost and Cold River": "The real moving part of a queen is her vague identity as a daughter, wife or mother behind the magnificent government affairs." Indeed.As a woman, the simplest and most natural life is to be a good daughter, wife and mother.This is the performance of women's self-consciousness in life.No matter how advanced the society is, this is still the most fundamental orientation of a woman's life.As women, we must grasp the essence of this life.

Third, be gentle yet strong

Tenderness is the nature of women.Women's tenderness is mainly reflected in three aspects: character, appearance, and behavior.The embodiment of tenderness in character is kindness, sympathy and great maternal love; in appearance, it is reflected in a soft face, smiling face, friendly, kind, kind eyes, decent, elegant, Generous; in dealing with people in the world, it embodies gentleness, consideration, nuance and understanding in dealing with others.However, while being gentle, we must also be strong.Because we women bear more than men, we have to bear the double burden of family and career.Therefore, we must be virtuous and gentle but also strong and confident, so as to achieve the unity of gentleness and strength.

Fourth, we must pay attention to both internal cultivation and external attire

Although the beautiful appearance of women is very important, what is more important is the inner temperament, taste and self-cultivation.There is a good saying: "People feel beautiful because they are cute, not because they are beautiful." The cuteness here refers to the inner temperament, taste, and cultivation of cuteness.Therefore, as modern women, we must pay attention to the improvement of our inner self-cultivation, which is the most important.At the same time, we cannot ignore external grooming.

Fifth, both devotion and self-love

As women, we must have the spirit of dedication and dedicate our love, enthusiasm, responsibility, time, and energy to family, career, and society.However, we can't just talk about giving and completely disregard our own feelings.I think it is not advisable for a woman who does not know self-love, self-respect, and completely loses herself to live.Women should treat themselves well while making contributions to their families, careers and society.For example, properly develop one's own interests, maintain one's own hobbies, have one's own time, allow one's own entertainment, play, and rest, achieve a balance between work and rest, and not abandon oneself.Therefore, we should not only have the spirit of dedication, but also be kind to ourselves, so as to achieve the unity of dedication and self-love.

These five "combination" and "unification" can be said to be the balancing technique for modern women's happy life.If you can do this, happiness will come.

life is yours, not anyone else's
To be a responsible big woman, the most important thing is to be responsible for your own life and life. No matter what, you must be kind to yourself. You can't become a bad person just because others cheat you, and you can't give up on yourself just because others have failed you.You have to understand that life is yours, not other people's. Your life is your decision and your life is your responsibility.This is the real Yujie fan!
A few days ago, I accidentally saw a talk show on TV, in which there was such a passage: The host asked a single boy what kind of girl he wanted to find, and the boy blurted out that he wanted to find a girl who didn’t need me to be responsible.

There was an uproar and discussions.

When asked the reason, the boy talked about the inside story of his recent breakup with his girlfriend: he went shopping with his girlfriend, under his reference, his girlfriend bought a bra, but she didn’t like it when she got home, so she insisted on taking it for her Change.As a man, of course his boss was unwilling, so his girlfriend said, you bought it because you said it was good, but now I don't like it, you have to be responsible for it.

The boy fainted, my God!Because of his reference, she bought a piece of clothing that she didn't like, and she complained like this. In the future, it will be as small as food, rice, oil and salt, as big as getting married and having children. In life, two people have to plan and decide together. For her temper, if she is dissatisfied, she will blame him and make him responsible. Then, the responsibility he has to bear is really infinite in the universe.

"We can't bear it, let's go." He said resentfully.

Although this matter is a bit generalized, and it is a bit of a small matter between lovers; although many women may think that this boy is too much, but on the other hand, this man's fear in the face of responsibility is real. Girls often use "responsibility" to talk about things, which is really too much and too sad.When it comes to responsibility, I am the first person responsible for life, life is a ship, dreams are sails, and I am the only helmsman.

Take a look at the market, those successful ladies who are extraordinary and have elegant taste are all masters who are responsible for themselves.

"Women should be responsible for themselves, whether physically, emotionally, financially, or spiritually. Our luck and misfortune cannot be blindly attributed to others, whether it is parents, husbands or children." This is Yang Lan Her heartfelt words are also her philosophy of life.

Then look at those women who are unhappy in life and full of complaints and sorrows, they are undoubtedly the masters who are irresponsible to themselves.

A is like this, irresponsibly losing his whole life.

A and her husband W also had the sweetness of their school days. In the city far away from their hometown, when they were still students, they chose to live together without telling their parents.After graduation, they agreed to go back to their hometown to work together, but A went a little smoother than W. She passed the entrance examination as a civil servant in her hometown and worked in a government agency. The next step is to wait for W's return.However, W, who was unwilling to be lonely, quickly made a new girlfriend, and told A without hesitation, and had no intention of breaking up with A at all. He thought that all this was just to fill the vacancy in his relationship. He said that he Will be back, just not yet. A never thought that W would be like this, she was heartbroken, and then rushed to that city irrationally to bring W back, and obtained a marriage certificate with her without telling her parents, just to tie W's heart.She said to W: "You can go back, but now you have the imprint of 'my husband' on you, I will wait for you to come back. You have to be responsible to me."

After receiving the marriage certificate, W went back and continued his so-called game of filling in the vacancy.

A was pregnant, and when she came to see W with a full belly and asked him to be responsible for the mother and child, W asked for a divorce and asked her to undergo an abortion.

A was so regretful and hopeless, she obediently had the abortion and divorced obediently, but on the night when she returned home from the abortion, she stimulated herself with ice-cold water and developed a whole body of problems.

B met a married man and wanted to be with him without hesitation. The man also divorced him and left the real estate and daughter to his ex-wife. After that, he and B got a certificate and lived a life of renting a house. .Of course B's parents don't know about all this, maybe they are still worrying about their daughter's marriage in their hometown, and I don't know if they will be able to bear all this when they know.What is even more unacceptable is that the man's ex-wife came to the man every now and then to ask for money, and asked him to drive her to go shopping. She still sat in the passenger seat like a man's wife, and B had to sit in the back seat to accompany her. silently bear.How does she feel in her heart?If I knew today, why did I choose this way?Who can replace the parents' nurturing grace and expectation?Like A, she is not responsible for herself, so how will she ask her husband to be responsible for herself in the future.From another perspective, they are not responsible to their parents.

After graduating, C went to work far away alone in order to seek her so-called stimulation.Society is a big dye vat. Even if a girl who is alone can resist too many temptations, she can't guard against too many dangers. I don't know what kind of story she has experienced. I only know that she is no longer the person I knew back then. The simple, lovely and happy she, but in her opinion, all of this is exactly the life she wants.

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Just like what I have heard and witnessed, you must have heard one or another tragic story about girls in real life: Some committed suicide in order to save her boyfriend's heart, and some committed suicide for her boyfriend's several abortions. Lifelong diseases and even infertility... When such a thing happens, perhaps we should not criticize others too much for what is wrong, and accuse others of what responsibility they should bear.Instead, ask yourself, are you responsible for yourself?If you don’t treat yourself well, and you don’t take responsibility for yourself, how can you ask others to be responsible for you?
In fact, everyone must first learn to be responsible for themselves, and then they can ask others to be responsible for themselves and be responsible to others, no matter in study, work, life, or relationship...

God will not sympathize with you because you are pitiful, but only favor you because you are excellent
When vulnerable and helpless, women tend to cry and shout: "God! Help me!" In fact, the sky will not show sympathy for you because you are pitiful, but only because you are excellent. Bless you.

Not long ago, a colleague just told me about the misfortune of their "banhua":

"Banhua" was abandoned by her husband, and she was stripped of her "Original Mate" badge by an old and ugly woman just like what happened to Princess Diana many years ago.

Her husband is a wealthy businessman, but he only gave her the smallest and most shabby house.This is still for the son's sake.

It is indeed pitiful, but a poor person must have something pathetic and exasperating.I continued to listen, and the more I listened, the more I understood.

"Banhua" is indeed very beautiful. Back then, her husband fell in love with her beauty, so he had a falling out with his family and insisted on dating her.The families of the two of them are wrong, the man's family is more prominent, and she is a girl from an ordinary family.

To be honest, the man just fell in love with her like crazy, and didn't plan to get married, but the unexpected pregnancy married her into a wealthy family, because the parents-in-law wanted to have grandchildren!The daughter-in-law is so beautiful, the child must not be ugly.For the practical purpose of holding a grandson, her husband's family accepted her.

To be honest, apart from being pretty, "Banhua" really has nothing special about her. She doesn't know how to cook, but only enjoys herself. She doesn't even have the right posture for breastfeeding her child.This aroused great resentment from the mother-in-law.

When the child was 3 months old, the business of the mother-in-law's family grew bigger and bigger. Later, my husband was sent to Hong Kong to take charge of the business there.It is said that their married life has been terminated since then.

Her husband became more and more indifferent to her, and her mother-in-law became more and more impatient with her. A woman's unique sixth sense told her: there must be something wrong.

She was very depressed and thought about divorce countless times, but when she thought that divorce would mean losing famous cars, mansions and other people's envy, she shuddered.So she chose silence and patience.

Unexpectedly, God also deprived her of the right to be patient. When her husband filed for divorce, she said: "I agree to the divorce, but the child will belong to me." In fact, she didn't really want the child, but just to use The child threatened her husband to give up the divorce.Unexpectedly, he made all the mental preparations and readily agreed.

In fact, her ex-husband was also pretty bad, he gave her the smallest and most shabby house, gave her a deposit of 30 yuan, and specifically explained: "Every penny must be used on my son, you are not allowed to spend it! "

Because the "Banhua" classmate was depressed, as a good sister who cared about her, my colleague invited me to persuade her. She said over and over again: "I am so unlucky, God, please help me!"

I don't express great sympathy, such things are really common.Everyone has a wound in their hearts, God, God, God is too busy.

A devout Buddhist encountered a difficult situation, so he went to the temple to pray to Avalokitesvara.Walking into the temple, I accidentally found that there was already a person worshiping in front of the Guanyin statue.That person looks exactly like Guanyin, not bad at all.

"You, are you Guanyin?"

"Yes." The man replied.

"Then why do you still worship?" the believer asked puzzled.

"Because I also encountered difficulties."

"Then why do you still worship yourself?"

Guanyin smiled and said, "Because I know that it is better to ask for others than to ask for yourself."

After listening to the story of "Banhua" and recalling the story of Guanyin, I couldn't help but think of the phrase "Heaven helps those who help themselves".Don't be afraid that you will be irritated, God is a snobbish eye, his old man is like the bank, he likes the rich and hates the poor.It's just that banks judge the rich and the poor by money, and God judges the rich and the poor by spirit.He favors those who strive for success and helps those who help themselves.

And striving for self-improvement and making yourself better is self-help.People from bad backgrounds do not feel inferior, do not give up when encountering difficulties, do not abandon themselves when encountering setbacks, face all kinds of blows and accidents in life with a smile, and accept the injustice and injustice in the world calmly. This is self-help, and such people will be blessed by God.

Do you want to know why God helps those who help themselves?What is the relationship between self-help and God's help?Well, let me tell you.

(End of this chapter)