90 days of cultivation temperament goddess

Chapter 32 Marriage is inevitably a burden, how to protect the temperament from being damaged (2)
I like what a writer said: "The half of the military medal that belongs to you must be in your own hands!" Caring for your husband, being virtuous and gentle are the virtues of women, and enjoying life is the most basic human right. This is true. But it by no means means losing yourself or sitting on your laurels.If a woman wants to be loved, she must have the capital to be loved, because there is no love without a reason in the world.Just imagine: where does the charm come from for a woman who has no sense of independence, nothing to do, and no self-worth?What reason is there to ask others to love her?
Therefore, no matter whether a woman is a wife or a mother, she must have her own career. A male friend mentioned a sentence said by the president of Coca-Cola with sympathy: "Every one of us is like a clown. , playing with 5 balls in your hand, these 5 balls are: work, health, family, friends, soul; and only one of these 5 balls is made of rubber, and it will bounce when it falls, that is work. The other 4 balls The balls are made of glass, and if they fall, they will be broken." This metaphor is very vivid. For the rubber ball of "work", we must take good care of it, because it is the basic item of our happiness.

Why do you say that?
A career can make a woman live a life of value

A worthless life is worthless, and a worthless woman is bleak.Women should live out their own value.Li Qingzhao, a peerless talented woman, in the era of "a woman who is ignorant of talent is a virtue", with her outstanding talent and feelings of worrying about the country and the people, became a generation of poets of the "Graceful School" of Song Ci, and her name will last forever; One of the pioneers is the world's first two-time Nobel Prize winner.She was poor all her life, indifferent to fame and wealth, and devoted herself to the discovery and research of the radioactive element radium.As a great woman, she has won the support and admiration of people all over the world.Jianhu heroine Qiu Jin, in order to "recover the Han nationality and revitalize the country", was arrested and martyred calmly. For her ideals, Qiu Jin chose a road of no return, but she won respect for women and wrote The best chapter of my life.

In such a difficult time, they all lived out their own value. As modern women, we should live out our own value.

There is a 19-year-old girl who, after graduating from university, responded to the call to support the west and became a primary school teacher in a remote village.Dilapidated classrooms, simple offices and bedrooms are the environments in which she works.The difficult conditions did not depress her, let alone scare her. With her enthusiasm for rural children and her increasingly mature teaching skills, she won the praise of the local people and won many honors at the municipal level.Like most sisters, she loves her family, she has a husband who loves her, and a lovely daughter; she also cooks, washes clothes, and loves to cry, laugh, and be beautiful, but she lives out her own life. Wonderful.She said: "Since I have chosen the teaching profession, I am obliged to do a good job as a teacher." Who says no?In today's diverse society, no matter what industry a woman is in, she should live out her own value.

A career can increase a woman's self-confidence, and a confident woman is the most beautiful

There is a kind of women whose beauty is not only in their faces, but also in their words, smiles and actions.Regardless of age, they look radiant and vibrant.Talking to them will make you forget the time and feel the beauty of wisdom...they are the so-called strong women.Their careers give them full confidence, their families are very happy, they pursue fashion and refinement in life, and they know how to enjoy themselves, and their connotations make them particularly noble and elegant.So when a woman has a career, her life can be more exciting.

Career enables women to truly grasp themselves, gain calm and self-confidence, and finally make women exude a detached temperament around them, making women stand out from the crowd.

Career makes women independent and strong

Career can make women charming, vivid and radiant, and make women stronger and more courageous to face the difficulties and hardships they encounter in life. They will not bow their heads in the face of setbacks and face them calmly. Career makes women believe that they can overcome all difficulties. And constantly improve yourself.

Because of career, women become confident; because of career, women can tailor their own uniqueness; because of career, women will not blindly follow the trend of popular elements all over the street; because of career, women will not Only by worrying about the small spots on the face can I show my natural beauty to the world with a calm expression... But these prerequisites are careers, and only careers can make women pay attention to their appearance, words and deeds .A woman with a career is the most beautiful.Not because of the bulging pockets or the title on the business card, but the beauty of focus and dedication.

In fact, everyone knows the benefits of career to women, but they still worry that women's focus on career will affect family happiness.In fact, career and family are not irreconcilable contradictions. If handled properly, career will not affect family happiness, but can also improve your life happiness index.

Why do you say that?Because career can make women understand men better and promote family harmony.

The outside environment and things will make a smart woman smarter!Get out of the blind rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, and let new things enrich your life. Only by walking in the workplace can you experience the hardships and pressures of work, and you can better understand the troubles of men in your career. Maybe you can solve his problems and become his pillar. He will love you even more and cannot leave you!
Home and career can create a perfect and strong woman.In modern society, elegant women with knowledge and wisdom balance between career and family, take care of their careers with all their energy, and run their businesses with enthusiasm.Career keeps elegant women at the vanguard of trends, and their mentality is always young.

Aren't they worthy of our envy?
The sense of security is given by oneself, not by men.
What is the most important thing in life?After forming a family, what is the biggest goal of a couple?In response to these questions, the US "Time" magazine conducted a sample survey of the public.

When asked what is the most important thing in life, the life goals of men and women are roughly similar. 96% of women and 92% of men in the United States believe that "physical health" is the most important to them.

In terms of views on marriage, the proportion of men who think marriage is very important is higher than that of women. 58% of men and 53% of women think marriage is important.

This shows that in the United States, under the influence of the feminist movement, more women are not only more economically independent, but also more independent and independent in marriage.The concept that women can live well without men is accepted by society.In the process of growing up, American women advocate independence, self-reliance and self-improvement more and more.

But in China, it is a different situation. I have asked many married women the purpose of their marriage at the beginning, and the answer is either "for a sense of security" or "fear of being alone and fearful".There are also a few people who say more bluntly, "Marry a Han, marry a Han, dress and eat."In fact, the key words of these three answers are the same: a sense of security.

As a woman, there is nothing more stupid and boring than asking a man for a sense of security.

I have repeatedly emphasized that a woman must give herself a sense of security, and then find a man to share your sense of security and pleasure, instead of finding a man who can give you a sense of security when you can't live alone. This kind of purpose is not pure from the beginning Most marriages don't end well.It is impossible to live happily under the influence of this pathological psychology of sincerity and fear.

Because the real sense of security can only come from the heart.

Many people want to find a sense of security through marriage, but now you will see many examples of divorce, all because they want to find a sense of security, but cannot get a sense of security.A sense of security definitely does not come from marriage. If you enter a marriage because you want a sense of security, 80% of this marriage will have problems.Because the other party is not a port, he is not a fixed thing, but a living person, he will meet different people, and his interests will change.Therefore, you must be able to give yourself what you want in marriage. If you can't, such a marriage will basically fail. This is a famous quote from Le Jia. When I read this passage, I felt it was right. Only when a woman learns to give herself a sense of security can she be stronger and braver to face everything. A woman who attaches her sense of security to others, After all, there will be no ultimate sense of security.

How do women learn to give themselves a sense of security?Slowly learn to push down all the armchairs around you, and you have to walk your own way after all.

1. A sense of security requires good hardware support, a job that makes you feel proud and a stable economic foundation are necessities

A sense of security is not obtained out of thin air. Good hardware support is the first step for a woman to gain a sense of security.First of all, at any time, don't give up the job you depend on for survival. Work can bring you a sense of accomplishment and lay a stable economic foundation.All this has laid a good foundation for women's self-reliance.With a material foundation, women must be able to afford themselves a sense of security.

2. Supported by a strong heart and a rich spiritual world
Loneliness and emptiness will make people feel uneasy, and a strong heart and rich spiritual world will be your strongest support.The safest corner in the world is actually our heart. Reading more useful books in your spare time and setting goals for yourself are good ways to enhance your sense of security.

3. A fulfilling life leaves you no time to think about whether you feel safe, and make more like-minded friends

Although the sense of security has a lot to do with the growth environment and personal personality, we can still find many acquired remedies.For example, it is a good choice to make more like-minded friends and enrich your life.When your life is full, rich and exciting enough, how can you have time to think about whether I feel safe when you are busy?

4. Learn more about yourself and change the way you behave and solve problems

You know, if you want to get rid of your psychological dependence on men and treat your insecurity, the best way is to change your way of dealing with people and solving problems first.When encountering a problem, first ask yourself how to solve it, instead of asking others for help.When you understand yourself better and more, and realize that life is in your control, what can steal your sense of security?
You can live well without any man

"I can't live without you!" We can hear this sentence behind many crazy murders about love, revenge, revenge and self-mutilation.Each of them firmly believes that although they have bad means, they have noble intentions because of love.

In fact, dear ones, that's not love, it's fear.And you don't know when you fell into this deep fear.You firmly believe that you need to be recognized by men; you firmly believe that you cannot live without a certain man.So you can't live without that person.This fear is terrible and will reduce you to ashes.

Have you heard the story of a milf who still has charm?It is about the tragic fate of Xu Zhaopei, the concubine of Emperor Liang Yuan.She grew up in a scholarly family and was pampered by her parents since she was a child.After entering the palace to marry Emperor Liang Yuan, due to the long-term neglect, she was full of desire for sex, which made her suffer from severe depression.So far, she has despised all powerful people.Emperor Liang Yuan was a one-eyed dragon, so she only made up half of her face in front of him to show his mockery.And often get drunk and spit dirt on the hall.The emperor ignored her, so she found two lovers successively.The man belittled her and looked down on her.When the emperor heard about this, he was furious and forced her to commit suicide by throwing herself into a well.

If love is gone, will the sky really fall and you can't live?Of course not, no one in this world can survive, and a self-respecting woman will live better if she breaks out of the encirclement.A female friend on the Internet wrote such a post, describing her "post-divorce life":
Before the divorce, I prepared meals meticulously, or waited until late at night without seeing him.After the divorce, I only take care of myself. I can cook vegetables, make soup, and make exquisite beauty meals, or I can not cook at all and just eat an apple for dinner.Before the divorce, I was a shrew in the eyes of my ex-husband, but after the divorce, I was a gentle and lovely lady in the eyes of others.Only after leaving him did he realize that men are also different in their own way.Some of them are mature, some are wise, some are funny, some are full of vitality... I used to lose the whole forest for one tree.My ex-husband quarreled with that woman again, and when he saw me, he smiled and said, "Let's remarry!" I smiled at him charmingly: "Take your time, don't worry, queue up later!"

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One should never demean oneself.As the saying goes, what you are born with will be useful.As a woman, no matter when, no matter what situation you are in, you must believe in your own value and never look down on yourself.Not only that, but also show your self-confidence in front of others and let others believe in your ability.What we should do is to stick to our lofty values, accept ourselves, and sharpen ourselves.

At a symposium, a famous speaker held up a 100-dollar bill in his hand.Facing all the people in the conference room, he asked, "Who wants this $100?"

One hand was raised.He went on to say, "I'm going to give this $100 to one of you, but before I do that, please allow me to do one thing."

As he said, he crumpled the banknotes into a ball and asked, "Who wants more?"

Some people still raised their hands.

He also said: "So, what if I do this?" He threw the bills on the ground, stepped on another foot, and crushed it with his feet.Then he picked up the banknotes, which were dirty and wrinkled. "Who wants it now?"

Someone still raised their hand.

"My friends, no matter what I do with this bill, you still want it, because it hasn't depreciated, it's still worth $100, and it didn't become $10 because I rubbed it and stepped on it, or it became a bill. Waste paper. On the road of life, we will be knocked down, bullied or even crushed by our own decisions or adversity countless times. We feel as if we are worthless. But no matter what happens or what will happen, you are still the same I will never lose value because of some setbacks."

Yes, no matter how much hardship you have suffered and how many injuries you have suffered, you are the hundred-dollar bill that will not depreciate no matter how you trample on it, you are the grass that the wildfire can't burn.The living environment we live in is often unsatisfactory, just like the $100 bill, which was lumped, rubbed, spit, and stepped on, but here it is lumped, rubbed, spit, and stepped on After stepping on it, you are still you, and your value remains unchanged.Your existence is irreplaceable, just like no matter how bright the light is, it cannot replace the stars and the moon; no matter how beautiful the plastic flowers are, there will be no bees to linger.As long as your heart is full of sunshine and your face is always smiling, life will not let you down!

(End of this chapter)