90 days of cultivation temperament goddess

Chapter 31 Marriage is inevitably a burden, how to protect the temperament from being damaged (1)
A married woman, although not as warm and gorgeous as summer flowers, has the elegance and demureness of autumn chrysanthemums.Knowledge makes you thick, temperament makes you beautiful, and experience makes you calm.

A married woman is running a family and cultivating a man. At the same time, she is constantly improving herself, showing the full charm of a woman, living a woman's demeanor, making her husband proud of you, making her children proud of you, and letting the world be proud of you. You are wonderful!
Marriage is better

In the new era of marriage, freedom of love is king.The rules of the love field seem to be: as long as you love me, you can even reason.Although I am also free to fall in love and get married, but looking back on the mental journey of growing up within the "enclosed wall" for 10 years, looking at myself and others along the way, I feel more and more that the right marriage we have been against before is precisely marriage happiness, One of the guarantees of family harmony.

In the past two years, sociological experts from both the East and the West have shown that when the social status, education level and economic strength of both men and women are equal, the marriage is relatively stable; , the other party is often "promoted" accordingly, and has improved in all aspects.Otherwise, the probability of marriage failure will be greatly increased.

Two years ago, there was such a wedding that "moved China".

The richest man marries a famous actor. The richest man is honest and rich, and the famous actor is unparalleled in beauty. The two held their wedding in the man's hometown. Everything in this wedding was done according to the rules of the richest man's family. It can even be said that everything was done according to the taste of his old lady.

In the records of envy and hatred afterwards, some people relished that the newcomer wore a custom-made resplendent dragon and phoenix Tang suit worth more than ten thousand yuan, and 200 wedding cars greeted the bride, each worth more than 200 million yuan, and the most expensive one was 800 million yuan The Rolls-Royce Phantom, every tree on the wedding road is wrapped with ribbons, roses brought in by air are everywhere, and there are 500 tables of flowing water seats, 106 tables of host and guest seats, political and business celebrities, and wedding banquets for thousands of people.And the most talked about is the big money of the richest man's family-guests do not accept gifts, and according to the order of his old lady, they give guests more than 500 red envelopes. "This alone costs more than 600 million yuan."

From the perspective of any local, this wedding is extremely beautiful and dignified. Unfortunately, the protagonist is a beautiful woman with a western style. From a simple and modern CBD party to an authentic Chinese wedding with hydrangea and mandarin jacket , This feeling is a bit too time-traveling-according to the rules of the local young daughter-in-law, she gets up at 5 o'clock to dress up, and goes to pay her respects to her mother-in-law with her husband and son-in-law first, and then pays homage to her ancestors after paying her respects. Put on a "Daifu Gold Necklace" worth 20 yuan for her.A few aunts who hadn't seen each other very much put on all the jewelry at the bottom of the box, and appeared in front of the new daughter-in-law with jewels, throwing out a huge red envelope, "too heavy for the bride to carry."And the most impressive photo is the bride in her new house. She is sitting on a red and willow green Raschel blanket like any new daughter-in-law in Shanxi in the man's hometown. There is a fiery red wedding blanket under her buttocks, and the coffee table next to her is messy. There are blue plastic water shells, khaki plastic table lamps and a huge pink plastic chicken decoration on the floor. The expression is obviously a bit awkward, but this is not the most embarrassing thing. The most embarrassing thing is to eat longan, lotus seeds, Peanuts and jujube tea, people ask: "Is it alive?" You have to say "Yes!" without hesitation - it is said that only by doing this can the in-laws laugh happily.

Obviously, it was his wedding, not hers.

This is the mother-in-law's home court, not the daughter-in-law's home court.

You can see the clues of a marriage from a wedding, and it also heralds the ending of the heroine of the wedding, otherwise you will become one of those few jeweled wives in his family, give birth to a few children, and wait Which day will you pass the "Dafu Gold Necklace" to the next woman, or you will be uncomfortable and entangled in every way.

In the next two years, the heroine bluntly announced that she would not have children, and then confirmed the news of her divorce, "The reason is that the personality is not compatible."

Except for this impressive wedding, we can't see anyone or anything to blame in this entertainment news, everyone is right, everyone is choosing their own life, and everyone has a reason to live what they want Want to live, everyone lives in their own small world, since they are not willing to compromise, then separate, how simple.

And the two exclamations we bored spectators can get are:
First, marriages with too different lifestyles are usually difficult to achieve a positive result.

Second, times have changed.No matter how heavy the huge Daifuku gold necklace is, it can't lock the young and flamboyant modern women in the end.

And right now, how many misfit marriages are there?There are too many.

Although marriage mainly depends on fate, it has to be similar, otherwise, everyone will be awkward.

A woman without ego has no charm
A fragmented marriage is a challenge to temperament, if not a damage.

Marriage means that you have to bear more, coordinate more, and endure more:
housework, work, life;
Husband, children, mother-in-law;
own family, in-law's family, mother's family;
Under the combination of these people and things, the space left for oneself is getting smaller and smaller, the time belonging to oneself is getting less and less, the self is becoming less and less, more and more empty, numb, and unbeautiful .

She is not the ugliest woman in our unit, but she is the most temperamental woman.Because she has absolutely no ego.

After going to work, my greatest sorrow is not that I go to work from nine to five every day, but that I have to see a colleague like her who has no self and no sense of joy every day.

You know what she babbles to us every day?

Every day, as soon as she arrives at work and puts down her bag, she starts sharing family affairs: what's wrong with her husband, what's annoying about her son, what's annoying about her mother-in-law, what's unreliable about her father-in-law, and what's wrong with her husband's eldest sister-in-law Aunts, friends, buddies, and colleagues have something that she doesn't like, and they publicize it in the office one by one.Including how she washed her husband's clothes the night before, how she put the child to bed, and how she called her mother-in-law.

Don't think that she'll be fine after she finishes speaking in the morning. Next, she will have more shows.From time to time, she will discuss with us how she should celebrate her husband's birthday, and she will call her husband to ask him if he has drunk water and chili peppers for dinner today. How the school is doing.

She is worried all day, and she is not stable all day.After paying attention to her husband and son, maybe she felt that she was tired, so she started to complain, saying that she put her son to sleep last night, then found clothes for her husband for the next day, and then packed the family's clothes. Wash the clothes, wipe the floor, and it was 1 o'clock in the morning when I went to sleep.And she went to sleep without brushing her teeth, taking a shower or washing her face...

You can imagine the state of such a woman at work the next day. To be honest, every morning when I enter the office and see her dark yellow face and sleepy eyes, I feel extremely sad to be alive!When I suggested that she set aside time for maintenance and rest, she also defended herself by saying that I don’t have children and I don’t understand what it’s like to be a mother, and that I don’t feel back pain when I stand and talk...she is the biggest negative energy in our unit: no Temperament, no sense of beauty, no sense of joy, endless chatter about the family life of a shabby married woman!
Presumably, there must be many such women active around you. They are always talking about their selfless dedication, for their lover, for their children, for their family, and completely lost themselves.But one day, when everything she was thinking about left her, she couldn't even find her own shadow. She melted herself and turned into his pride, his heroism... He enjoys all this like breathing air Just as natural, but no one appreciates the air when it's easy to breathe...

Such a thing will never happen to a wise mature woman, because a mature woman must be a woman with herself.They understand that they can use emotion to bring each other closer, but they cannot use emotion to change each other. When a woman loses herself, she will no longer be attractive.Charm is the only and unique thing a woman has.When a woman is able to keep her true self and control the direction of her feelings, she will realize the true meaning of life, understand what she really loves and likes, and not be influenced by the changing environment and flow-like personnel.

Nowadays, more and more women agree that "one who owns oneself can own the world". They are willing to face the reality and bravely face themselves and others.Say what you should say, and be angry when you should be angry.Persist in the right, correct the wrong, they live in their own way.

A smart and wise woman understands that only by owning oneself, having a good time, having fun, and living life to the fullest can the door to happiness be opened.

Forgiving woman, not depressed

For women, especially married women, tolerance is a compulsory course if they want to live a relaxed life and not fall into the pattern of complaining women.

Yuanyuan is my good friend since I was a child, and I usually live in the same community, so there are many opportunities to meet.Yuanyuan would come to my apartment in her free time, and the topics of conversation were all about some trivial matters of life between her and her husband.From Yuanyuan, I found a phenomenon, that is, married women are indeed more likely to complain about life.When you are single, most of the things you face are your own, as long as you handle your own things well.But after marriage, Yuanyuan not only has to take care of her own affairs, but also takes care of housework. After a hard day's work, Yuanyuan is so tired that she hardly wants to move, but she often has to face her partner complaining about work troubles.

Yuanyuan always said to me: "I also have a lot of troubles. He poured his troubles to me, which means that I have to bear double troubles alone. He always doesn't help me with housework, and even tramples the floor dirty. I've had enough of this kind of life!"

I understand Yuanyuan's feelings very well. After all, the pressure of modern life is too great.But why do some women not feel trapped when faced with the same problem, but instead do it with ease and manage their lives well?In fact, I think Yuanyuan's problem is that she is not tolerant enough in the face of life and the things around her.

Yuanyuan is too focused on her own feelings, only seeing her own hard work, but completely ignoring the hard work of the other party, the more she thinks about it, the more unbalanced she feels.Conversely, if she can think more from the perspective of the other half, she will be more considerate of the other's difficulties, and will not feel so uncomfortable.

We also have such a misunderstanding about tolerance, thinking that tolerating others is a disadvantage.In fact, forgiving others is a kind of relief for oneself.When you look at everything around you with a tolerant heart, and change your thinking mode for yourself, you will not often worry about small things, you will not be so useless, and you will find that you are also relaxed .

If you want to be a happy person, be a tolerant person first.Tolerance is a kind of soft energy. Although it is gentle, it is often more effective than toughness.

I once witnessed such a scene on the bus: a very fashionable and beautiful girl accidentally stepped on a man's foot because the bus was shaking.She was very embarrassed to say sorry to the other party.The man was very funny, jokingly said that his feet were too ignorant, and the position of them was too wrong.The surrounding passengers laughed when they heard this sentence, and the awkward situation was easily resolved.I have also seen scenes of fights on the bus because of giving up seats or because of the crowding. The situation that could have been resolved with a few words turned into a mess in the end, which is really unnecessary.

A smart woman should know how to tolerate others and how to use the weapon of gentleness.Forgiving others is actually forgiving ourselves. A little more tolerance for others will give us a little more space in our lives. Make your life easier and freer.

My dear, let us start with every word and deed, and cultivate a tolerant heart!May we have a mind wider than the ocean and happiness longer than the sun and the moon.

Being a wife is the worst job you can do full-time

There is such a saying: "Behind a successful man, there must be a great woman." This sentence calls on women to be full of sacrifice. Women have to sacrifice themselves, perfect men, sacrifice their careers, and maintain their families.

In today’s era, there is a saying that encourages women: "I am responsible for being beautiful, and you are responsible for making money to support the family." This sentence calls on women to pursue hedonism, not to struggle, but to sit back and enjoy what they get, and let men serve themselves and the people.

Whether it is sacrifice or hedonism, it is unreliable, because being a wife is the worst job in the world that cannot be full-time.

Reminds me of a real life story:
Both she and him were talented students who graduated from the same university. Their combination aroused the great envy of the classmates.Originally, she was very ambitious, but she gave up her career and the opportunity to develop simultaneously with her husband just for him to rise to the top, and became a good wife. Loving her husband, caring for her children, and doing housework were the whole content of her life.For the sake of her husband's appearance at the ball, she bought her husband a Goldlion tie with the money she bought for the woolen sweater, but she never went to the ballroom, let alone danced with her husband.She was dressed plainly, and she looked shabby among the well-dressed women. Her natural beauty had long been dimmed. Walking with her well-dressed husband, the contrast was so great that people could never see that they were husband and wife. She devoted all her energy to Taking care of the family and husband is like a family nanny.When she was happily celebrating her husband's 40th birthday, she was surprised to find out from a letter that her husband had betrayed her a few years ago. She gave too much.

Regarding this story, let's not talk about "men are not good things" for the time being.We can think about it calmly. This story illustrates a truth: every woman, when she gave up her job and made the decision to be a full-time wife, she actually chose such a way of realizing value: relying on men to realize her own value. Self-worth, relying on the brilliance of her husband to illuminate herself.This woman made a principled mistake: she handed over her destiny and hope to others!This is the most ridiculous venture capital in the world!Lost money is also expected.

(End of this chapter)