90 days of cultivation temperament goddess

Chapter 30 Big woman mentality, calm and beautiful life (3)
The third type of women, they should have the same simple life, but women's natural aggressive personality is fully exposed in these women, they use their not smart minds to disturb their own and other people's lives.It may occasionally allow them to take advantage of some small advantages, but they will never understand that such small advantages will only make them the most miserable people.Because they don't know anything, but they think they should have the whole world, and they get nothing in the end.

The fourth type of women is the "fairy" among women, they are alluring and weird.They also have wisdom, but that wisdom does not exist to love the world, but to satisfy their own desires.Like other women, they smile, and that smile looks beautiful, but no one can read the real state of mind hidden behind that smile.This kind of woman is running her own life, and often based on hurting others.

The first type of women is top-grade, the second type of women is middle-grade, the third type of women is low-grade, and the fourth type of women is inferior.Rate yourself, which product are you?
A woman with compassion is admirable

When you put the two words "woman" and "charity" together, what do you think of?

It is love, it is warmth, it is beauty, it is everything that is beautiful in the world.

A friend told me such a story: Last year, she and her husband divorced, the house and son were awarded to her, and the husband took his lover to a distant place.Holding the verdict and the real estate certificate, she went to the real estate bureau to handle the transfer procedures, but the address on the real estate certificate was inconsistent with the verdict, so the transfer could not be done temporarily.The problems left over from the hasty divorce made her go through a lot of trouble—the house was divided by the unit where her husband worked at the time, but now the unit has become a private enterprise and has changed its name.

The friend found her husband's original unit with the verdict, and the sister Zhang who received her happened to know her. She said she knew her, but she had met and said hello a few times, that's all.

The friend briefly explained what he had to do. Sister Zhang took a piece of paper from the table and began to write word by word, raising her head from time to time and asking, "Is it okay to write like this?" Sister Zhang said a few words, nothing more than "where do I live now" and "how is the unit benefit".

It was almost finished, so Sister Zhang took out another piece of paper and wanted to carefully transcribe what she had just written.Suddenly someone knocked on the door, and it was a young man who pushed the door and entered, "Sister Zhang, take some printing paper." He walked towards Sister Zhang while talking.Sister Zhang, who was transcribing, turned the verdict gently with her left hand. The friend didn't recall it for a while, but saw the verdict on the table turned into a blank sheet of paper.

The young man left, and Sister Zhang continued to write calmly. She turned over the verdict again and compared what she wrote with the above one by one.Put your seal on it, and you're almost done.There was another knock on the door, and a lesbian came in. My friend saw that it was her husband's former colleague.She said hello to the other party, and the other party asked: "It's been a long time since I saw you, how is Xiao Zhang (husband's surname Zhang)?" The conversation that went down touched the pain of the heart.Fortunately, the lesbian and Sister Zhang hurriedly left after a few words. The friend looked at the table worriedly—at some point, the verdict turned into a blank sheet of paper again.

My friend seemed to be very strong. It didn't take long for her to walk out of the shadow of divorce. However, when she told me this story, she shed tears silently. "These two words are still very sensitive. "I think it's okay for others to see the divorce verdict. It's a big deal. But at that moment, Sister Zhang's inadvertent action made my heart tremble slightly. It was her who quietly maintained my self-esteem. !"

Perhaps only women understand women best, and Sister Zhang is undoubtedly the most understanding woman, the kind of woman who makes people admire from the bottom of their hearts.Her deeds are no longer as simple as kindness, but a god-like compassion.

What is compassion?Take a look at the connotations of the following three items of compassion, and you will understand and know how to practice them.

love
Compassion is related to kindness, but it has a deeper connotation than kindness.Compassionate people and kind people are both people with love in their hearts, but compassionate love is a kind of great love, and the meaning of love is deeper and wider.

For example, Hollywood superstar Angelina Jolie is a compassionate woman. On September 2012, 9, when filmmakers gathered at the Toronto Film Festival, Angelina Jolie, who had just been promoted to special ambassador by the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, visited Syrian refugees in Jordan.Syrian refugees were a constant focus of her attention during those two years.Just before her trip to Jordan, she also traveled to Turkey to see Syrian refugees there.Every time she visits, Julie will take off her ring, dress in black, and show up without makeup. When she speaks, she will cry on the spot because of emotion.No matter how important her status is, when people judge her first as a glitzy Hollywood superstar and then as an UNHCR ambassador, she is destined to be different from other Hollywood stars because she is more beautiful than them.

Respect Life
Compassionate women love all things and believe in the equality of all beings, so they know how to respect, and every plant and tree will affect their affection and make them love and pity.Such a woman is naturally charming.

Empathize with others

Zhang Ailing said: Because she understands, she is merciful.Yes, only by putting yourself in the shoes of others and being considerate of others can you understand what the other person wants and what they want.For example, Sister Zhang in the above story, she understands that people’s words are scary, understands social prejudice, and understands the fragile heart of a divorced woman, so she protects my friend so meticulously.

If you can do the above three points, you are very close to compassion.

The so-called nobility means: good times are good, adversity is calm
Many acting classes in well-known art colleges have such learning content. The teacher will let students use three different characters to perform the same thing.

For example, to deduce unemployment:
(1) Use an optimistic and positive attitude;
(2) Use a pessimistic and negative attitude;
(3) Use a very anxious attitude.

As a result, students will find that interpreting the same thing with different mentality will produce different effects.

If this was a multiple-choice question, which one would you choose?

All living beings are suffering, there is no distinction of severity, but the content is different
Regarding pain and adversity, everyone has their own criteria for judging.

Little A failed the civil service examination for two consecutive years. She felt that many things in life could not be as she wished, and she was very confused about her future.

Little B broke up with her boyfriend who had been in love for 4 years. The reason was that the other party cheated on her. She felt that her life was gloomy and she vowed never to believe in love again.

Little C's father passed away due to illness recently. She felt that everything in the world is impermanent, life and death are fateful, and the whole world has collapsed.

Little D has been unable to find a suitable job since she lost her job. She often only has a dozen or so dollars left in her pocket. She worries about making ends meet every day.

These four people all feel that they are in a trough, and the date of climbing up is to be determined, and hope seems to be far away.

Everyone will encounter some difficult problems and difficult hurdles in his life. There is no comparison between troughs and troughs, and there is no difference in degree between pain and pain, but the content is different.However, time has passed and the fate of the characters is different. One is because each person has a different degree of resistance to stress.Maybe you have experienced many battles on the road of love, and falling out of love seems to you very elementary, and it will not hurt you at all; but for beginners in love, falling out of love is simply a bolt from the blue, that kind of pain is for those who have not experienced too much For emotional people, it may be as hopeless as the sky falling.Second, people's mentality is different.The weight of things is constant, but the capacity of people's hearts is variable.A big heart is a small matter, and a small heart is a big matter.Even if a woman with a big heart gets a big deal, it's not a big deal, but for a woman with a small heart, even if something the size of a matchstick is dealt with, she still thinks it's a big deal, like a thunderbolt.

The so-called aristocratic temperament is: prosperity is beautiful, adversity is calm
Women all want to be extravagant, like a princess from a garden castle, or Princess from the Forbidden City.However, nobility has nothing to do with birth or money, it's just a state of mind, a magnificent atmosphere.

I want to talk about my friend. For the sake of reading, I will call her Xiaohe here.

Xiao He is my friend, what I'm talking about is the real experience that happened to Xiao He.Xiaohe is a rich and beautiful woman, pampered and pampered. When she was in college, she was the most luxurious and elegant scenery on campus. Like the "Miss 84" in Shanghai in the Republic of China, she drove a private car to and from the campus. She changed cars more than you and I. Bicycles are fast.

She has a crush on a senior who is one level above her. The senior is very good, but Xiao He has low self-esteem and feels that she is not good enough for him.The secret love continued like this until the senior graduated. Xiao He was afraid that he would never see this person again, so she mustered up the courage to confess to him.In the end, she was rejected very firmly by the other party. The senior said that he didn't like flowers in the greenhouse like her.

At that time, this incident dealt a great blow to Xiao He. After several months of depression, she decided to fight for herself and began to take the postgraduate entrance examination.However, life was not moved by her spirit. After two years of continuous examination, Xiao He still failed to pass the exam.In order to prove that she is not a parasite, she did not enjoy the arrangement of her parents, and went to Beijing without hesitation to be a marginalized person, a North drifter.

Xiao He even felt that she might live like this for the rest of her life.If the pattern of life is fixed at this moment, I don't think Xiao He is so noble. What really makes me see her nobleness is the next thing.

In the autumn of that year, Xiao He's father left her forever because of a traffic accident.It wasn't until this time that Xiao He realized that the previous shocks of breaking up in love and postgraduate entrance examinations were nothing at all, but the real shock to her was the death of her father, which was too big and almost crushed her.

During that time, Xiao He really wanted to leave with her father, she really couldn't find any meaning in life.However, after taking care of his father's funeral, Xiao He realized a more serious problem, that is, his father was dragged into the abyss due to private loans during his lifetime, and the money released could never be recovered.And Xiao He's mother had always been pampered and pampered before, and she has never worked since she married her father, and has always lived a very comfortable life.Faced with the sudden death of her husband and the major financial changes, she had already panicked and shed tears every day.

It was at that time that Xiao He began to realize that her courage was far more than that of setting up a street stall to sell paintings. She seemed to have regained a kind of strength.

There is a word called "grow up overnight", and this word could not be more suitable for Xiao He at that time. The 26-year-old Xiao He found that she had grown up suddenly, and she decided to choose between life and death, because she really couldn't accept that she left her mother alone in the world like a coward, alone and helpless.

Today, Xiao He is 32 years old. In the past 6 years, Xiaohe has changed countless jobs, from the very beginning of painting, practicing street stalls, sales, customer service, and now the operation director of a well-known media company.Xiao He started from scratch, relied on her own strength, and lived a noble life again, buying a villa in a luxurious location in the west of Beijing.

Although Xiao He has suffered a lot in these years, she feels that every step she takes is calm and firm.Now, no matter what happens to her, she will not feel so bad. She said: "Life has shown me the cruelest side. I feel that I am living more and more vigorously. I feel that nothing can knock me down." collapse."

Xiao He still maintains her original habit, often going to Beijing Botanical Garden to sketch.Hehe, actually, I met her by the lotus pond in the botanical garden last summer and became friends with her.That afternoon, she was dressed in plain clothes with the scent of lotus, and she focused on painting lotus flowers. I was attracted by her plain beauty. I thought she was a student of the Academy of Fine Arts. Who knew that she was 31 years old and experienced A big girl who has experienced all kinds of tastes in life.

This is Xiao He's story, does it move you?I was deeply impressed by her spirit.No matter what life gives her, she holds her head high as always and accepts it calmly.Perhaps, this is the aristocracy: it always preserves something that no one can take away, that is, the freedom to despise suffering, the calmness to accept fate, the courage to enjoy poverty, and the elegance to love life.

(End of this chapter)