Pillow Book of Talmud Wisdom

Chapter 19 Ten People is a Community—Jews on Cooperation (2)
One of the great things about Franklin is that he learned that lesson the hard way.He was mature enough and wise enough to realize and realize that he was facing a social failure, and he immediately gave up his haughty and rough habits. "I make a rule," said Franklin, "that I never disagree directly with other people's opinions, and I don't allow myself to be too assertive. I don't even allow myself to be too sure in words or language. I don't say 'of course', 'Undoubtedly. ', etc., instead of 'I think', 'I assume' or 'I imagine' that a thing should be this way or that; Do not immediately refute him, or immediately correct his mistakes. When I answer, I will say that under certain conditions and circumstances, his opinion is not wrong, but in the present case, it seems to be slightly different.

put the interests of others first
We live in groups and are responsible for our relationships.Being responsible for the relationship mainly includes the following two aspects.We all live in society, in organizations, and most of us work with other people, whether they are members of an organization or freelancers.No one can succeed outside the group.

Responsibility for relationships can be viewed in two parts.

The first part is getting to know.Everyone is an individual like you, so you must understand the strengths, methods and values ​​of those you work with.It sounds easy, but few people listen carefully.To give a common example, someone used to write reports in his first position because the boss at the time was a reader.After changing to a listener-type boss, he continued to write reports, which were not taken seriously, and the boss gradually felt that this person was stupid, incompetent, and lazy.If this person carefully studies the new boss and analyzes the new boss's way of doing things, such things can be completely avoided.Your boss is not a job title on the org chart.They are human beings and equally entitled to work in a way that suits them best.It is the subordinate's responsibility to observe and understand their working methods, to inquire about the strengths of the boss, how he works and achieve results, and what his values ​​are, and then adjust himself so that the boss can work more effectively according to his method. It's also the secret to "managing your boss."The same method can also be applied to all work colleagues.Everyone has their own way of working, and everyone has the right to work in their own way.What matters is how they perform, and what their values ​​are, not how they work.The first secret to improving "efficiency" is: understand the people you work with, understand the strengths, working methods, and values ​​of your upstream workers, and make good use of them.The relationship at work is based on the basis of "people", as important as the basis of "work".

The second part is taking responsibility for communication.After thinking about "what are my strengths, how do I work, what are my values, what should my contribution be?", the next question must be asked: "Who has to know this? Whose work has to depend on Me? My work must rely on accuracy?" At the same time, let them know the answers to the above questions.

In the Middle Ages, people who lived on the same street worked in the same trade, and people who lived in the same area grew the same crops. Everyone knew what everyone else was doing, and never had to tell anyone what he did, nor did he need to Ask what other people are doing.And a small number of people in special industries such as professionals and independent workers do not need to tell anyone what they are doing.Today, most people work together with others, sharing different duties and responsibilities.For example, a vice president of marketing with a business background mentioned above is familiar with sales work, but he may not know anything about pricing and advertising that he has never done before.Therefore, those who are responsible for these tasks must let the vice president understand their work content, work reasons, work methods, and expected goals.If the VP doesn't understand the work of these senior knowledge workers, it's not his fault, it's the people themselves, because they are not fulfilling their responsibility to educate the VP.Instead, it is the vice president's responsibility to let everyone he works with understand his vision of marketing, his goals, his methods of work, and his expectations of himself and others.

Even people who fully understand the importance of "working relationships" usually don't tell their colleagues about it, and don't ask them about it at the same time.Because they fear being seen as presumptuous, overly curious, or stupid.They are wrong!Anyone who says to his colleagues: "What I am best at...my work method is...my values ​​are...the contribution I want to focus on is...the results I expect are..." the rewards are always Yes: "This is so helpful! Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

In fact, a knowledge worker should ask those who work with him to adjust their behavior to match the strengths and working style of the knowledge worker, and the feedback he gets will always be positive and affirmative.

Use the power of others to fill up your own barrel
A person's strengths—especially the strengths of successful people, must learn to use the power of the situation, that is, turn other people's strengths into their own strengths.

As soon as any young people step into the society, they should learn how to treat others and make friends, so that they can support each other, promote each other, and rely on each other. Otherwise, it is absolutely difficult to develop to the point of success alone.

Carnegie, the steel king, once wrote his own epitaph in advance: "The man who sleeps here knows how to use people better than himself in his career."

Most Americans have a specialty, that is, they are good at observing others, and they are able to attract a group of good friends with outstanding talents to cooperate and inspire common strength.This is the most important and also the most valuable experience of American successful people.

On the road to becoming a talent, a person often needs the guidance and help of many people, and communication, cooperation and collaboration with collaborators are often an effective way to obtain specific help and promote the growth of talents.

As the saying goes: "One fence has three stakes, and one hero is a gang of three." There are many examples of cooperation producing results and talents.

Marx and Engels fought side by side for 40 years, which is a lofty example of talent cooperation.Engels' outstanding strengths were his sharp eyesight, his quick actions, and his ability to always hit the nail on the head. Therefore, Marx always consulted with Engels before making any political decisions.Marx's letter to Engels wrote: "You know, first of all, I am slow to understand everything; secondly, I always follow in your footsteps." Marx clearly surpassed his friends in theory.Engels always acknowledged that Marx's genius was higher than his own, and always considered him second fiddle to their joint venture.Their strengths and talents complement each other in this way.

To cooperate, you have to give.Facing the effort calmly, you will gain more.

Due to the fear and hatred of the reactionary forces aroused by Marx's great fame, Marx's life has been very poor in the first 10 years of his activities.On one occasion he was obliged to hide at home for lack of proper clothes and shoes; on another occasion he was left without even a few pennies to buy paper or a newspaper.In order to help him financially, Engels gave up his suitable jobs several times, went to his father's company to do the "damn business", and endured the shackles he hated.This unknown sacrifice of Engels became more astonishing as it went on: he gave up his great academic achievements, and interrupted the natural science research he loved and spent a lot of time on.Some people say that Engels' fate was tragic, but Engels always believed that fighting side by side with Max and cooperating with him for 40 years was the greatest happiness in his life.When the first volume of "Das Kapital" was going to press, Marx wrote to Engels: "I owe this to you alone! Without your sacrifice to me, I would never have been able to complete those three volumes. "In view of this fact, it is easier for people to understand: Without Engels' self-sacrifice, there would be no "Das Kapital".But people often fail to realize that without the cooperation and close contact with Engels, there would be no Marx, the greatest teacher of the proletariat.

Lin Shu, a famous early translator in my country, would not have been able to do any translation if he hadn’t cooperated with others, because he didn’t understand foreign languages ​​at all!His advantage is that he is very proficient in ancient Chinese. People say that he "has a brilliant pen". When he engages in translation, he first asks friends who understand foreign languages ​​to translate the original work word by word, and then he organizes it.Because of his witty translations and unique style, his translated novels are still being republished today.How could he, a famous translator, become a talented translator without the cooperation of others?

The principle of cooperation to promote success is as simple as that.We should understand that since cooperation is so important to some great people, let alone those of us who are only yearning for success.

Sincere cooperation is the motto of some successful personnel.When you give, you will reap.Even if not today, there will always be.You help others, and others will spare no effort to help you and support you when you need it most.

To be a teacher

The motto of all strong people is "Teach others", that is, learn from others and discover yourself.This process is the best way to find your strengths.Therefore, the real strong is not extremely arrogant, but humble and cautious.

While in the White House, Theodore Roosevelt admitted that if he was right 70.00 percent of the time, he would act to the highest expectations.

If such an outstanding great man admits that his judgment is only 70.00% correct, what should you do?
Socrates once told his disciples again and again: The only thing I know is what I don't know.So if you are not smarter than Socrates, then from now on, it is best not to point out what is wrong with people, let alone impose your views on others, because your views are not completely correct.If you think someone is wrong—yes, even if you're sure he's wrong—you'd better say something like, "Oh, wait a minute, I've got another idea, I don't know if I'm right. If I'm wrong, I hope You correct me. Let's take a look at this together."

It's amazing, it's really amazing, especially something like, "I might be wrong, let's see about it." Absolutely no one in heaven or earth will object to you saying, "I might be wrong, let's see." this matter."

One of Napoleon Hill's cadets, Harold Reinke, a Dodge dealer in Montana, used this method to handle customer disputes.In his report, Rehnke pointed out that because of the competitive pressures facing the auto market, you often appear cold and ruthless when dealing with customer complaints, which can easily lead to anger, even failure to do business, or cause a lot of unhappiness.He told the rest of the class: "After I figured it out, it wasn't going to help, and I changed the way I did things. Instead, I said to my customers, 'Our company made a lot of mistakes, and I really regret it.' Please let me know what happened to you.'" This approach apparently eliminated the animosity of the customer.Once the mood is relaxed, it is easy for customers to reason in the process of dealing with things.Many customers thanked me for my understanding, and two of them even brought their friends to buy the car later.In a highly competitive market, we need such customers.And I believe that respecting the opinions of customers and treating customers thoughtfully and courteously are the capital of winning the competition. "

You will never get into trouble by admitting you were wrong.This is the only way to settle the argument, to induce the other party to be as fair and lenient as you are, and even to admit that he may be wrong.

Someone once asked Martin Luther King Jr. why, as a pacifist, he preferred a white Air Force general, Daniel James, to a black senior officer.Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. replied, "I judge others by their principles, not mine."

Likewise, General Robert E. Lee once spoke to Confederate President Jefferson Davis about one of his officers.General Lee praised him very much.Another officer was very surprised. He asked General Lee: "Don't you know that person attacks and slanders you all the time?" "I know." General Lee replied, "But the President is asking me what I think of him Not asking what he thinks of me."

Do not clash with customers, spouses or enemies.Don't accuse them of their mistakes, don't make them angry, and if you have to confront people, use a little skill.Therefore, we must respect the opinions of others, be good at taking our own strengths and making up for our own shortcomings.

(End of this chapter)