Pillow Book of Talmud Wisdom

Chapter 33 Enjoy Moderately, Work Moderately—Jews on Enjoyment (3)
If you want to find a balance between career and family, you need to choose your career.Some careers are more conducive to balancing family and career than others.Other industries such as investment banking (due to long working hours) or consulting (due to frequent business travel) are difficult to achieve a balance between career and family.

Step [-]: Let your loved ones work with you to create a balance between career and family

It is difficult to achieve a balance between career and family by yourself. If you mobilize your main family members and work partners to improve your balance plan, you will have a greater chance of success.

Help everyone find balance by understanding each family member's expectations and priorities.It is important that both spouses can balance career and family.

Step Six: Examine the balance you are in and decide to maintain or regain it

The balance you're in can be thrown off balance, so it's worth revisiting your balance regularly.Events that could tip the balance include accidents, illnesses, or deaths of family members; your company merging with other companies, laying off employees, or going bankrupt.

Other events can also throw you off balance: loss of romance in a partnership; loss of market for a product or service; poor profitability of a company; overindulgence in a hobby.When you recognize any of the above problems, you decide what adjustments must be made.

Work and family are not incompatible

Work and family seem to be a pair of enemies. They often fight, destroy marriages, and even lose both.

You think you are suitable for a job because it will bring you happiness, but it will not necessarily make you rich or have a good life.Unless a person's work can bring him inner satisfaction, otherwise it is not really successful.Thankfully, wives who take the opposite view are a minority.A survey was conducted among 25 housewives of all ages. If the husband wants to switch from a stable job that he doesn't like very much to another that is less stable and pays less, but will make him happy Will the wives agree to work?Only [-]% of the wives interviewed are unwilling to let their husbands change careers.Many great achievements may be due to unselfish wives who are willing to take a chance—and give up material comforts so their husbands can work in jobs that suit their personalities.

William Booth made it his vocation to preach, and he preached to the poor, the crippled, and the vagabond in the slums of London, while he, his wife, and children endured cold, hunger, and ridicule.His wife, Catherine Booth, suffers from spinal curvature and must use a spinal brace.She was also threatened with tuberculosis, and was afflicted by cancer in her later years.Before she died, she said: "I never know a day that I don't live in pain." Because William worked hard to help the poor, so that his weak, thin and sick wife not only had to cook, wash and take care of eight children, but also to help her husband dedicate his love and efforts to those who are poorer than them.After working hard during the day, she also goes to the slums to help those who are hungry, sick or in need.She talked to thieves, vagabonds, and prostitutes, and prepared meals and shelters for unmarried girls who were pregnant with illegitimate children.

Once a meeting of pastors, moved by Booth's sincerity, left him with a comfortable preaching job in a relatively affluent district.When Catherine Booth found out, she immediately stood up and shouted, "Don't! Don't!" Because of her persistence, the Salvation Army is now working all over the world.At William Booth's funeral, more than 5000 people thronged the streets of London to pay their respects.The mayor of London was also in the procession to see him off at his funeral.European courts and the President of the United States also sent wreaths.Behind his coffin, five thousand young Salvation Army soldiers followed, singing hymns to their great leader.

This is real success!Finding a job you love and working hard at it for the rest of your life, regardless of your own safety and well-being, is true success!

Behind his success, there is a figure of a woman who cannot recede for a long time.A wife who expects her husband to be successful must be willing to let her husband do whatever he likes best, even if it is risky.Regardless of setbacks, a wife must have the courage to trust her husband and support him without fear.People who can strive desperately to achieve enterprise and creativity will not hold back for other reasons.Of course, I just said it from the wife's point of view.The husband also faces this problem.

Chapter 20 When a fool laughs loudly, a wise man only smiles. -Jews on eloquence

The Jews believe that people who are good at listening are easy to show their intelligence; while people who like to express themselves and chatter are usually fools.

As the Talmud says: When a fool laughs loudly, a wise man only smiles.

Language is the commander of human power
Mayakovsky once said: "Language is the commander of human power." It means that the exquisite art of oral expression has inestimable charm and power in social life and interpersonal communication.In the [-]th century BC, Pangeng, the Ming emperor of the Shang Dynasty, persuaded the people who were unable to leave their homeland with vivid, simple and eloquent words, and realized the idea of ​​moving the capital; Zhou Enlai and Chen Yi were good at rhetoric and eloquence in the ever-changing international political life, Greatly improved the international status and prestige of New China, and increased the aspirations of the Chinese people; international financier Sachs persuaded US President Roosevelt to develop and produce atomic bombs as soon as possible, thus laying an important foundation for ending World War II as soon as possible; in today's economic construction In the process of business negotiations, pertinent and powerful words during business negotiations will force the other party to make concessions or reach a consensus in order to facilitate an agreement; generous speeches that promote external and internal connections will revitalize one party's economy.All of these show that by giving full play to the art of eloquence of oral expression skills, huge spiritual wealth and material wealth can be created.In social life and interpersonal communication, not paying attention to or not understanding the rules of oral expression will always bring about mild or severe adverse effects or even cause failure.Khrushchev once gave a speech full of emotion and rich content at the United Nations General Assembly, but because he was so excited at the end of the speech that he almost carried himself away, he used a leather shoe he took off instead of his palm to slap hard on the podium, which made the whole speech a failure. ——The rude and disrespectful body language caused an uproar in the audience, not only did not achieve the expected effect, but left a laughingstock.

There is a passage in Franklin's autobiography: "When I restrained myself, I used to have a checklist of virtues. At the beginning, there were only [-] virtues listed on the list. Later, a friend told me that I was arrogant when I spoke. , which makes people feel arrogant. So I immediately paid attention to the advice this friend gave me, and I felt that it could affect my future. Then I specifically listed humility on the list. I decided to try my best not to say anything that directly offended others. In terms of feelings, I even forbid myself to use all definite words and phrases, such as 'of course', 'definitely', 'needless to say'...and use 'maybe', 'I think', 'I think', 'that's it', 'probably', 'perhaps'... Instead." Franklin also said that speaking has a lot to do with career progress, and it is the main embodiment of a person's strength.

If you speak carelessly and argue with others, then it will be impossible for you to gain sympathy, cooperation and help from others.This is absolutely true.Therefore, if a person wants to be successful in his career, he must have eloquence that can handle everything.If you want others to think highly of you, you must first think highly of yourself, and never beg for mercy.You can be humble, but never flattering.You can't just be submissive, making people think that your language is not moving.When you express your opinion, don’t wantonly criticize others; let alone tell the other party that your plan is sure to succeed, and if you are hired, the business will definitely develop. This can only be praised by the other party, not by yourself.Boasting comes with stubbornness, an attitude that only makes people sick.When you go to interview a person and state your purpose briefly, you should take your leave.Even if circumstances permit you to linger for a while, you should immediately turn the conversation elsewhere.

A person's life cannot be peaceful, when you are misunderstood, criticized by others, or even lead to attacks by evil forces because of your perseverance, endangering your life.In this regard, if you are unwilling to be humiliated and wronged, you must always seek justice and seek an explanation to protect yourself.In many cases, you cannot achieve the purpose of self-protection in other forms, and the most reliable thing is your own mouth.Public outcry, defamation, appeal, and publicity are the most direct and effective life shields, which can protect your life from worry and turn danger into safety in many cases.

In 1933, Hitlerites burned the Reichstag to blame the Communists.In the mass arrests of communists, Dimitrov, general secretary of the Bulgarian Communist Party who happened to be in Germany at the time, was also arrested.In the trial court in Leipzig, Dimitrov refuted the enemy's framing sternly, defended himself relentlessly, and ruthlessly exposed the enemy's conspiracy, making the enemy embarrassed and full of ugliness.Because of his timely and effective use of the shield of public speaking to defend himself, the court finally acquitted him.

Eloquence is a skill for survival

If a person does not have good eloquence, once he enters the society and embarks on the road of independent life, it will be difficult to achieve satisfactory results in career, love, and social interaction.It seems that the bird has no wings and can't fly into the sky. It's painful, and it doesn't play its due skills well, which loses the basic function of the bird living in the air.

Every day in our work and life, we need to use language to communicate with others, solve problems big and small in our lives, and deal with some difficult problems in our work.Therefore, if we can use our very applicable eloquence skills on the spot, it will be of great benefit to our life, work, career and love.

The modern American poet Frost cleverly divided ordinary people into two categories from the perspective of speaking: the first category is people who are full of knowledge but can't speak;

Frost's observations are quite in-depth. We often see people who are full of knowledge but dull in words, and from time to time we hear people who are ignorant and uneducated talk nonsense.Therefore, the most fundamental condition for a conversation is: not only to have substantial and valuable connotations, but also to be good at expressing, so that people can listen happily and have endless aftertaste.Therefore, "having something to say" is really not an easy task. To achieve the state of "having something to say", you must continue to learn and strive to enrich yourself.

A person who can speak can always express his thoughts and intentions completely and fluently, and can also explain the truth clearly, completely and beautifully.Make others accept it happily, and sometimes you can immediately determine the other party's intentions from the question and answer, and you can get inspiration from the other party's conversation and increase your understanding of both parties, so that both parties can build a good relationship. friendship.

We can often see the difficulties encountered by people who cannot speak: incoherent and intermittent speech, uncomfortable standing or sitting, always feeling very awkward, and even flushing.Of course, what they say cannot fully and clearly express their intentions, which often makes the other party unconvincingly accept it.Because you can't speak, your eloquence is poor, and you hesitate to speak, this kind of difficulty in communication will bring or cause many obstacles to your own career, love, life, and communication, and inhibit your own. Promising.

In all fairness, the Chinese tradition does not encourage people to study the method of conversation. At most, it just puts forward some basic principles so that everyone can "use the magic with one heart."However, most people do not have the ability to understand and apply these principles, and even use the principle of "smart words are not benevolent", which makes people dare not speak.

However, in today's society, the art of conversation in social situations is really the first key to life, and it must be studied carefully.Depp, a U.S. senator who was a lawyer and one of the most famous orators in the United States, once said: "There is nothing in the world that can win success and the admiration of others more quickly than the ability to convincingly communicate. Ability can be cultivated by anyone.” Indeed, people who can accurately express their meaning in conversation are welcomed by people wherever they go. Not only can they use excuses to attract others’ attention, but they also have more, Better opportunities for development.One must know how to search for things, how to explain things, and how to speak persuasively in order to gain the support of others.

(End of this chapter)