The more self-discipline you have, the more freedom you have

Chapter 2 All the "chicken blood" that fails to implement specific actions are hooligans

People who live seriously, life will never treat you badly

1.If you learn your skills carefully, you will bring good luck
Organize gatherings among classmates.

Talking about the city where the meeting will be held, hotel accommodation and travel tools, Han, who doesn't speak often - the former study committee member, sorted out a document.

When I opened it, I found that Student Han was thoughtful and thoughtful.

First of all, she summarized the cities where most of the students in the group were located, and gave the distance between each city and the meeting place and the timetable of transportation.

Again, she listed the time schedule of several local students and the vehicles that could be provided.

Then, she selected several representative hotels and marked the star rating, price and accommodation environment.

In the end, she sent the floor plan of the tentative venue for the party, and said that she would contact the advertising company to make a theme and site layout suitable for the long-awaited reunion.

Because of the AA system, she also recommended a few students to be in charge of "financial staff", "logistics team", "food and drink manager", "registration contact person" and "art program coordinator" in order to have a clear division of labor and organize a show Lively and warm instead of chaotic class reunion.

At this time, you will find that when the teacher appointed the class administrators back then, and now when they select the personnel in charge of the party, those arrangements are reasonable.

Not everyone can handle things in an orderly manner, and not everyone can take things outside of themselves so seriously.

Student Han is already a management member of a foreign company, holding a lot of company stocks and year-end dividends in his hands, and has achieved success in his career.She didn't need to do these small things, but she did it in an orderly manner. This is her serious attitude in doing things and her quality of dealing with people.

In the early years, she signed up for the calligraphy club.The classmate who originally signed up together also made a mistake, wrote a random name to make up the number, and practiced brush calligraphy seriously without seeing anyone. Who would have thought that she would not be perfunctory. She would never be lazy in the courses she could participate in. Practice alone.

At that time, I still teased her: "On how an amateur calligraphy practitioner counterattacks."

Some students also said: "If you don't have a professional background, you can't become a master of calligraphy. What's the use of practicing?"

She just smiled, and said softly: "I just think that since I have signed up, I will do a good job in this matter, and I will be idle when I am idle."

Later, her brush calligraphy was practiced vigorously and vigorously, and even the dean praised her; and later, she heard that the company leaders respected traditional culture and respected her knowledge of calligraphy.

It is true that she was able to achieve her position today, which is inseparable from her usual work attitude, but at the very least, it is the good luck brought about by her serious work.

You have learned some skills seriously, and these learned skills can become your stepping stones.

2.Change, starting with every little thing

I remember when I was young, I was very envious of those who became the protagonists of TV dramas.

They have successful careers, many friends, rich and powerful, famous and profitable, have lovers, have interest in life, and turn around and have power over the world.

As the protagonist, someone will play with the princes and make her laugh; someone will spend a lot of money, and in exchange for her, she has the life of a princess that you can't even match in this life.

And these are beyond your reach in the mud. You long for that kind of life, but you don't know how to do it.

So, you envy and complain at the same time.

But someone is different from you.

He is also envious, but not just envious, he wants to change.

how to change?Start with every little thing.

In real life, it is impossible to be like in TV dramas, where life and death are always separated and vigorous everywhere, but it is wrapped in trivial chicken feathers, which will only increase your depression and frustration.

A person who is different from you, the difference is that he can sweep away the chicken feathers and give himself a peace, he does every little thing in his hand seriously, he doesn't look down on it, he doesn't complain in his heart, he puts every paragraph Time is regarded as tempering.

What you don't bother to do, he does seriously.

You don't want to change your laziness, but he gets up early every day.

You refused to work overtime to do more for the company, but he did an excellent job of completing all the assigned tasks and also helped his colleagues extra.

You don't like taking CET-[-] and CET-[-], so you give up at will. He has become an English teacher by himself, and he has an extra allowance.

You don't want to recharge your batteries and learn more outside of work. He cherishes all opportunities to improve himself, no matter free or at his own expense.

Although he walked very slowly, every step was sonorous and powerful, and every growth made him stand on a higher position.

So, he surpassed you.

3.What is really difficult is the habit and the attitude
There is a sister with very good skin, which can really be described by the words "the skin is as thick as fat, and it can be broken by blowing bombs".Beautiful things make people enviable, I praised her, but she said with a smile: "It seems that the daily maintenance has worked, and my hard work every day is not in vain."

Just talking about her skin care routine every night is really hard, remove makeup, take a bath, blow hair, steam face, clean with beauty instrument, apply mask, lift face, cool pores, make hand mask... This series of procedures is repeated day after day After doing it day and day, I couldn't hold on.

She persisted, so her skin, even without makeup, is still supple and supple. A 30-year-old looks like a college student.

In fact, her previous life was also rough.

Relying on youth, I don’t care much about skin care, makeup removal is so-so, I never eat breakfast on time, I either overeat, or I like junk food like Malatang instant noodles, I stay up late reading novels with a flashlight, three to five days If I don't wash my hair once, my good youth will be all unkempt.

If you don't take yourself seriously, your skin, your body, your ability, your academic performance, your job... will not reward you seriously.

Because of her long-term discord between spleen and stomach, she has bad breath, dark yellow skin, hair like withered grass, and her eyes are short-sighted to [-] degrees.

Really not pretty.

There is no boy to pursue, and even I don't like myself like this.

Conversely, is daily skin care difficult?Not necessarily, there must be some cumbersomeness.

But when you know that such dedication will definitely bring rewards, you will not feel tired, let alone feel difficult.

What is really difficult is those good habits developed because of self-control, the serious attitude cultivated by the love of life, and your heart that is not satisfied with the status quo.

4.Life is all about attitude towards life
In fact, in our life, what we fight is our attitude towards life.

Once I chatted with Popo, a good friend who got close because of writing an article, and talked about life. I said that if you have the right mentality, you will not embarrass yourself, and it is a skill to live every moment seriously.

She also expressed the same feeling, thinking that we should just enjoy it.

When you start to be serious about life, you will understand how important the day and night are, and it is simply not enough. You will have no time to blame others, and you will only be full of awe of life bit by bit.

This is the greatest fairness that life gives us. If you grasp it well, you will have an opportunity. If you grasp it poorly, you will lose your hand.

Keep it serious, it will push you up the hill, it will push you to complete your transformation.

This will be the greatest gift that life can give you.

I'm afraid of having nothing, but I'm more afraid of regretting for life

1.nothing at all

Swallow resigned.

Speaking of resignation, some people will find their next home in advance and leave a way for themselves; From which board to jump, there are companies waiting to receive it.

Swallow does not belong to these types. First of all, she is naked, has no next home, no plan, no headhunter to offer olive branch, and no bigger platform waiting for her.

Secondly, the customer resources she has are completely inapplicable in new fields, so no matter how strong the ability is, it will encounter shortcomings and become useless.

Yanzi used to work as a bank counter manager. As far as I know, her salary is not bad, and her treatment is good. She works from [-] to [-]. The key is stability and security: such as continuous insurance and pension after decades.

It also looks like a peaceful and stable life, but she said: "This kind of life is boring."

Swallow's dream is to be an independent photographer.

Yanzi has been obsessed with photography for a long time, but she has become a monk halfway into this field. After all, shooting as a hobby is different from shooting as a profession, but she is quite talented, and her works have been published by several local magazines Pass.

As long as she has time, she usually takes a camera and walks around. She has been to many cities, large and small, and has walked many winding roads. A grass, a cloud, a holding hands and a kiss, a starry And the night sky have become the scenery in her eyes. Moreover, she also taught herself various photo editing software in the later stage. She is going to walk freely for two years, and after two years, she will accumulate experience and resources and come back to open a studio.

"But the early stage is quite hard. Although there are editors who approve your work, you can also get some extra money, but this is not enough to support you for the time being!" At this moment, I admit that I am traditional and conservative, and I am always worried. If she leaves the bank and chooses photography, it will not be worth the loss. If she loses everything because of it, if her enthusiasm is met with indifference and unexpected returns, she will be hit hard.

"But," Yanzi said, "probably because I watched too many literary and artistic films, and I have great envy for those brave people. I have considered everything you said, and the big deal is that I have nothing."

"However, dear, a person may only live for seven or eighty years. Why do you think we should live a lifetime of depression? Now, I am only in my twenties. If I don't make a breakthrough, if I don't do something I like When I was in my 80s, I was married and had children, and I would be busy reading parenting books, researching baby bottle diapers, and enrolling my children in special training courses. I experienced a sense of pressure and helplessness, both old and young. , Maybe I will still be able to deal with a middle-aged crisis, such as old age, such as my husband cheating. By that time, I will have no energy to toss about. Tell me, why don’t I live a more energetic life when I have energy? "

"I don't want to say to customers who come to make deposits like a day for decades: Hello, what business do you want to do?"

2.The regret of giving up because of fear of losing
There is no turning back in life, only going forward.

As you walk, you may find that some things have not been done yet, some are too late, and some are clearly missed by yourself. From then on, you can only say to yourself when recalling: "It's a pity, because I was worried about it back then. Some things were lost, and others were abruptly given up.”

However, those things that I was worried about losing back then did not become the armor on my body now, but made my regret more obvious.

I have to admit that Swallow is right.

Things that I didn't work hard in my 20s, when I think about them in my 30s, I will definitely regret it.

I think of July in "July and Ansheng".

She has always lived according to her parents' expectations, maintaining etiquette at the table, and always having the best grades on her report card. She has lived a real, gentle and standard good girl, but she yearns for An Sheng's free and unrestrained life, she longs for that Her freedom is not restrained, she regrets that she cannot look at the world as freely as An Sheng.

This kind of regret caused her to adopt a desperate attitude when she broke free. She said to Su Jiaming: "I don't want to spend my whole life with a man who doesn't love me enough. Get married tomorrow. Don't come. Only in this way can I be justified out of the city."

Rather than saying that she gave up on Su Jiaming, it is better to say that she gave up on this hopeless life. She was so worried about losing, and finally lost.She tried her best to walk the road she hadn't traveled, to gain new insights, to meet more beautiful people and things, she began to laugh happily, but before she had time to continue all this, she lived forever in the 27 years old.

If Qiyue knew that it would end like this, in those past years, she would definitely not live with suppressed regrets.

3.Start from scratch, are you afraid?

It takes a lot of courage to change, or not to change.

I changed cities halfway.

At that time, I was also in my 20s, my son was about to enter the kindergarten, my husband was earning a good salary in a state-owned enterprise, and I had many friends. look like.

Retreating from the capital city and returning to a coastal city to start a business is tantamount to starting from scratch.

To make some new friends again, to familiarize yourself with every unfamiliar street, to research which kindergarten is better nearby, and to Baidu to see if there are suitable parent-child places and beautiful gardens in this city.

More importantly, starting a business requires investing money. The balance in the bank card may become less and less until there is no more clothes and bags you want to buy?I have been unable to realize it in my heart.

This is not a matter of courage, but a kind of lonely courage.Loneliness is like a seed that germinates in the dark night, and the days of having nothing seem to be not far away, just waiting for reality to laugh at me: I don’t want so many chips at the beginning, but now I have lost everything, right?
Mr. Qin once asked me: "Start from the beginning, are you afraid?"

I said, "I'm afraid, especially afraid. You know that you are as sentimental as I am, and you can't bear loneliness and loss."

But, I am even more afraid of the me who will be in the photo frame many years later, saying to myself in the photo frame: "Look at you, you have lived such a miserable life, and you haven't been able to seriously make a decision you like. Since you like facing the sea and spring flowers Open, why do you have to endure the smog of the metropolis in the expectation of others? Not everyone has a deep love for Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, at least, I know I am not.

To this day, if Mr. Qin asked me if I was afraid, I would still say, "Scared."

But I turned around and hid my fear, and I still said to him: "Since there is such a sentence as 'choose a city to die in, bring a person to die', then let's implement it, choose the city we like, and live a warm life .”

Yes, I am afraid of having nothing, but I am even more afraid of regretting for life.

4.May you live the way you want
Older people, more or less, like stability.

Because I am old, I can’t move around, I’m lazy, and I don’t have too much energy to spend on things that may not see returns, because although I have armor, I also have weaknesses: you don’t know when your parents will get sick, You don't know what kind of money test your child's education will meet. You think that stability is good, so just live your life like this.

You start to have a beer belly, and you don’t want to run for a few kilometers when you walk in the garden of the community; you have stayed in a unit for several years, and if you want to continue to stay, you can receive a pension at the age of 60.From 60 years old, there may be less than 30 years, maybe 20 years, maybe 15 years, you say, there is still such a little time, why bother?
It is human nature to seek stability and avoid displacement, but you always regret those missed opportunities when you look in the mirror, when you are dreaming, when you are young, and you could not have lived such a boring life. You can change the trajectory of your destiny when you are in your 20s, so that you don't have to regret it when you are older.

If you are still young and still want to make a breakthrough and experience a life that is different from the present but makes you happy, don't be afraid, work hard for a while, and then you will know which path is suitable for you.

In this way, after many years, the experience will be engraved into the annual rings, printed in the blood, and become your pride and medal as part of your growth.

Life is full of changes and partings one after another. I hope that when we meet again, you have already lived the way you want.

All the "chicken blood" that fails to implement specific actions are hooligans

A young man in his twenties said that he read a lot of inspirational and successful books, followed suit and enrolled in some learning courses, and listened to a lot of large and small lectures, and weekend breaks are often full.

It's not that he deliberately keeps himself extremely busy, it's just because he is a slow person, suitable for passive learning, the money is spent, the class must be taken, and it is good to be able to walk far when being pushed.

Moreover, every time he listens to an inspirational lecture, he feels that he has gained something, his whole body is full of "chicken blood", and he feels that his life has direction and hope, which is very exciting.

Then I will also post some inspirational articles in the circle of friends, use various social software to check in, various screenshots to express my determination and other fancy behaviors to motivate myself.

In this way, he continued to persist for two years, but he found that money was spent, time wasted, but nothing was gained.

The salary has not doubled, there is no annual salary of hundreds of thousands, and there is no promotion to the management level. Everything is the same.

He couldn't figure out why the great young man never came to report after working so hard. His patience was almost worn out.

In fact, I have some doubts about whether he strictly demands himself according to the course of study, because there are certain problems in the life supported by temporary enthusiasm.

First of all, when you enter a certain course, punching the card must not be the goal, but acquiring skills is the goal.

If you don’t have strong self-control, you can try to check in on social software to supervise yourself, but you have to know that all “chicken blood” that fails to implement specific actions are hooligans.

It’s easy to write a paragraph to motivate yourself, it’s easy to take a random picture and check in just to complete a task, and it’s easy to draw up a ten-year plan with enthusiasm, but it’s really easy to implement it and learn real skills from it. not easy.

Not long ago, it became popular on the Internet to have a sense of ritual when doing things, because the sense of ritual will help us establish a regular life and thus play a positive role.This is right, but be careful not to overcorrect or put the cart before the horse.

No matter making a plan for yourself, or "beating chicken blood" or "filling chicken soup", these rituals are just the beginning. Don't think that after completing the ritual, your mission is complete. The ritual is for others to see. Have you learned anything? , only you know.

Secondly, the primary condition for a person's success is not to rely on the short-term excitement and impulse of "chicken blood", but a long-lasting, stable, rational life plan and clear goals, and a balance between output and input.

That is to say, you can’t listen to the lecture on success motivation today and feel suddenly enlightened, then sit at the desk all night to study, study, research and get promoted, but then resume playing games, brushing Weibo and staying up late in the next few days.Intermittent excitement and hard work, long-term laziness and avoidance are the worst.

A truly successful person must have a regular life and continuous learning. For example, one hour a day for reading, one hour for fitness, getting up early to memorize ten English words, and researching industry trends before going to bed.

Another example is to conduct regular work summaries, analyze one's own shortcomings and advantages, decompose according to the established goals, and effectively complete self-defined tasks on time.

Slow, but uninterrupted every day is the best action.

I have a girlfriend group of four, and we agreed to clock in every day to lose weight. I practice swan arms, mainly to thin the collarbone, two of them follow the video to practice how to thin legs, and the other does yoga to shrink the abdomen.

The content is different, but the essence is the same, that is, you have to persist every day to see the effect, and you can't stop or fool around.Because of such things as weight loss, it is obvious whether it has any effect.

After we made an appointment, no one clocked in, but every time we met at a party, everyone would show off their recent changes, laugh at each other, and encourage us to go home and continue practicing, and we will watch it next time we meet.

Therefore, it is not enough to have excitement alone, and it is not enough to just have a sense of ritual of clocking in. The most important thing is to persist, which is accumulated over time.

Furthermore, in fact, the inspirational chicken soup is very beneficial. Only when people come into contact with the new world, new three views, and new things can they carry out self-reform from the heart, and the inspirational chicken soup has this effect. It prompts us to broaden our horizons. Thinking, changing the mode of thinking, and reshaping some persistent ideas in the past.

But what to do after instilling "chicken soup"?Three days of fishing and two days of drying the net?Just relying on lip service but still not getting up in the morning?Enthusiastically promoting slogans and quotations, yelling that young people should make a living, but turn around and play games all night?
A girl, in the morning, checks in the video of getting up early in the circle of friends, and checks in the route of late running in the circle of friends in the evening, in the name of being a self-discipline master.

Has she really been so self-disciplined?The fact is that she did get up early, but she went to bed and returned to the cage without even holding it for half an hour; she also really ran at night, just two or three times, and she took it out for many days.

She is keen to set her ambitions in the circle of friends, but she is also expecting to be affirmed and praised by others. As for whether her ambitions are realized in the end, it is secondary.

The inability to persist for three days seems to be a bottleneck that most of us have encountered. Sometimes when we look back at the vows, wishes and goals we have made, we are quite regretful. At first, we did give up easily.

In fact, a mature person may not have so many exciting moments, but they must know how to recognize their current situation, transform the emotions brought about by the inspirational declaration into actions at the moment, and work hard every day.

Don't worry about gains and losses, but never interrupt at will, let alone procrastinate because of laziness and emotional instability.

When you want to accomplish something, don't yell or brag, you have to learn to be calm, learn to execute and practice silently.This is a very long process, and we need to endure loneliness and boredom, resist the temptation of eating, drinking and having fun, so that we can see a bright future little by little.

Why have you read so many "chicken soup articles", created so many check-in rituals, and set yourself many slogans every day, but you still can't succeed?Even you have to complain, are you underappreciated, doomed to be mediocre in this life?
A person who frequently aspires but never succeeds must be because there are too many exaggerated performances instead of persistence; too much fantasy instead of action.

It is not difficult to make a decision, but it is difficult to use time effectively; it is easy to be inspired by reading a good article, but it is difficult for you to turn this information into useful power for yourself and work hard to become stronger.

The less gregarious you are, the less likely you are to excel
1.About "Good people don't fit in"

A reader followed my official account and immediately asked a question: Don’t you writers always say that excellent people don’t fit in?Isn't it always telling people to give up ineffective social interaction?Why did I offend so many people by doing this?I don't even have a job now.

I was a little dumbfounded, wondering if he had misunderstood something, so I asked what was going on.

This reader has just graduated and is doing an internship in a good Internet company.

In fact, according to what he said, he is a motivated young man who will take the initiative to work overtime and has no complaints about the temporary tasks assigned by the leader; he can also think positively and occasionally propose some good feasible solutions in meetings.

But he has a fatal flaw, that is, he is not gregarious.

He never goes to company dinners. He said he doesn't like such occasions and thinks it's a waste of time. Isn't it enough for a group of people to meet in the company all day long?He also uses the time after get off work to have dinner. He would rather play a few games at home or watch two movies.

He also refused to organize a game with friends, thinking that this is an invalid social interaction. Friends, when you need help, just make a phone call and it's over?Isn't it said that true friends don't always keep in touch?Good buddies don't stick to trifles, as long as you have each other in your heart, you don't need to organize a game all day long to drink and talk about mountains.

He dismissed any colleagues in the company who were close to the boss or superior, and tried to keep a distance. He said that this is a typical sycophant, and only those who are incompetent will do this, which is too hypocritical.

He likes to monopolize the project, and likes to stay up all night to complete the plan by himself, but he is unwilling to exchange information with his colleagues.

A classmate asked him to cooperate in a new project. The classmate's family conditions are very good, he has a lot of resources in his hand, and he likes his ability. He thinks of two people working together. The classmate contributes money and finds resources, and he contributes to win-win. it is good.

But he refused without even looking at the project's bidding plan, and he didn't know what he was thinking. He felt that this kind of cooperation would humiliate his talent.

Not long after he refused the cooperation, the boss talked to him and advised him to either transfer or leave.

So after he followed my official account, he exploded, and sent me a series of questions. Since being gregarious is shameful and not gregarious is excellent, why is he always underappreciated?
Listening to his argument that "the whole world is turbid and I am alone", I almost want to add the word "group" to the blacklist. You really don't have to be proud of being noble.

2.Any job requires communication and communication
Seriously, I myself have written about the experience of letting go of useless social interactions, and I also insist that some people do make them up by their incompatibility.

But this reader’s experience has nothing to do with the word “group” at all. He misunderstood the meaning of group and stubbornly believed that he was unique. It has to be said that he has the shadow of a “cynical youth”.

He thought that actively expressing his thoughts was a high profile, and getting along well with the leader was flattery.He thought that what other people do is vulgar, and his own ideas are the most indifferent to the world, so he insisted on being independent.

He refuses to cooperate, refuses to expand his work ideas, refuses the interpersonal relationship between colleagues, and he is complacent about it, thinking that he has done the right thing.

In fact, the reason why he doesn't fit in is not because he is so noble, but because he doesn't have the ability to fit in.

There has never been a job in this world where you can be promoted without working overtime, and there is no one who can complete tasks perfectly without communicating with colleagues and leaders. Any job requires communication and communication.

The working environment of the company is like a quack. Unless you are a genius like Edison or Van Gogh, who can create miracles only with super high IQ and inspiration, otherwise, most people work hard in the workplace, after all, it is emotional intelligence.

Working behind closed doors is the biggest misunderstanding. The most effective way to advance in this society is cooperation. The better a person is, the more effectively he can communicate with others; the value of.

The smoother the interpersonal relationship, the wider the network resources, the more opportunities and the greater the probability of success. Single-handedly fighting is too weak to help you achieve your career. Instead, you can get out of the tight encirclement only by holding together for warmth, because resources bring resources. , Opportunity brings opportunity.

My friend, brother Zheng, is a bank insurance company. Most of the clients who manage money with him maintain a good relationship with him, and often introduce new clients to him. He has gained the trust of more people, and his performance has skyrocketed. After working for less than a year, I bought a house and changed a car, which is very enviable.

I had nothing to do for a while, so I went to learn how to manage money from him. I heard a lot from him and saw him do a lot.I found that his success was not due to his single-minded study of skills and research on the characteristics of the crowd, but because he was often able to create a win-win situation.

For example, if customer A is doing business and needs a certain product, and customer B happens to be engaged in this industry, he will introduce each other; another example is that he thinks that there may be people who are compatible with each other or have similarities in business, he will also Organize everyone to get together.

After a long time, many customers have made new customers with him, so they trust him even more. I have to say that he is really convenient for others and convenient for himself.

You might say that he is very scheming because he has a good relationship with customers because of his eloquence.

To be honest, who came out to work not to broaden their career scope and increase their salary?What's more, Brother Zheng's original intention was to help others. It was because he was enthusiastic and liked to make friends that he got more friends.

Not only among customers, but also among the bank staff, he is also helpful. He has a separate seat in the bank. In fact, he does not belong to the bank, but to the insurance company, but he gets along well with the bank staff. It seems that a department is so close, so sometimes when encountering inquiries about financial products, the staff will help to say a few more words and recommend Brother Zheng's financial products.

When he helps others, others will help him in turn. People who are gregarious can always find the same kind, mutual benefit, mutual help, why not do it?

3.selectively gregarious
What are those people who are not gregarious but excellent?

In fact, they are not out of gregarious, but selectively gregarious.

They also attend parties, but they choose the ones that suit them and can bring them growth and help, instead of attending any gatherings. As long as they promote self-growth and development, socializing is not useless.

They will also actively expand their network of contacts, but they will not abuse the word "connection". They understand that personal power is limited, and they will use effective connections.

They have a clear bottom line and clear principles in their hearts. Those who ignore these bottom lines will be blacklisted by them, but those who respect their principles will definitely be respected by them.

They will never be conceited and conceited. Instead, they are more humble and know how to be kind to others and themselves.

But no matter which one, it fully shows that they have the ability to fit in, but they just chose a way that seems to be out of gregarious.

Some people over-interpret the concept of being out of gregariousness, thinking that gregariousness is the loneliness of a group of people who seem to be carnival. Biased.

As social animals, human beings need friends. When they are sad, they need someone to talk to. When they are hurt, they expect someone to give them a hug. Even when they are depraved, they also long for someone to help them. These ordinary fireworks in daily life , has the magical power to make people feel warm.

Personal ability is important, but it is not the only one. If you want to make a difference, you can't do it alone. Teamwork and cooperation are the best way.

Ineffective social interaction refers to those circles and people who can neither bring you growth nor make you feel happy. It means that you are struggling with which emoticon to use in group chats, and carefully interpret other people's comments on you.

So there is really no need to be too extreme and extreme. If you can integrate into the right circle, you will find that it is a pleasant thing to be in a group.Some people will expand your career and career and help you become more excellent; Your loneliness makes you feel that being human is a blessing.

The world is multi-dimensional, not to close your eyes and listen to it, and not to generalize. You should not lock yourself in a small world and watch the sky from a well.

You are anxious because you think it is easy for others to make money

Going back to the city where I used to work to do errands, my long-lost friend Xiao Xu invited me to dinner.

In fact, there are still so many topics for old friends to reminisce about the past. The original circle of friends, nostalgia for the past, chat about the present, and look forward to the future, this meal is over.

It's been a long time since I saw him, so my impression of him is still a few years ago, with a carefree personality, a hearty smile, and an open-minded look.

But the man in front of him is clearly different.

Half of the ten sentences he spoke were sighs.

When it comes to old friends, some of them have already successfully started their own businesses. In this national political and cultural center, some are in first-tier cities with tens of millions of people. They bought houses and cars, and basically entered the middle class.

Some are married to wealthy families, have no worries about food and clothing, and go to Europe to shop every now and then, showing a sense of superiority in their circle of friends.

Some have joined the management of the company by virtue of their excellent performance and excellent management skills, with generous bonuses and dividends at the end of the year, and their careers and lives are thriving.

But compared to the rapid development of these old friends, Xiao Xu can be said to be as slow as a snail.

He has never changed jobs, and his salary has only doubled. Given the increase in prices and the high housing prices in the past few years, his doubled salary is really not worth mentioning.

So he was very anxious.

For a while, I told myself about the difficulty of the past few years, sighed why opportunities never favored me, and for a while felt that loneliness was the destiny of life, even though I was almost strict with him, for a while, I guessed what secrets other people had, and so easily skyrocketed .

He drank heavily and kept asking me how to save him from being so frustrated and lost.

In fact, each of us has had this moment.

I always think that people around me catch up with me overnight.

Look at him, how come he is worth millions all of a sudden?
Also, she felt like she was still driving a manual transmission economy car yesterday, but now she is driving off-road?

And he, didn't he just talk about starting a company not long ago?Now there are more than a dozen people recruited...

Why overnight, people on the same starting line all surpassed themselves and became a model of successful people. Only myself was left on the original track with a confused face.

Actually no, you only know that time flies, but you don't know what those successful people do in the invisible time.

They didn't succeed all at once.

Maybe when you sing on KTV for a week, maybe when you scroll through Moments every night before going to bed, they have accumulated work experience and professional skills by working overtime.

Maybe when you are carefully trying to keep this dead-wage job, they have become slash youths, ready to cross the line at any time, turn around, and start again.

Maybe when you made some small emotions because of love and love, they have overcome the loss of emotional control, completed the initial integration of EQ and IQ, and made bold and correct decisions.

Or, in the morning when you are asleep, they have already studied a new course, maintaining the ability to recharge and move forward at any time.

No one's success is for no reason, and no one completes all capital accumulation overnight. They have all gone through repeated consideration, accumulated a lot of money, and they worked hard and toiled in a time that you don't know or can't see.

So a few years later, you saw their excellence, ability, resources, money, power... When you saw it, you were envious and jealous from the bottom of your heart. You thought it was just their luck, but they encountered a storm And opportunities, but the times make heroes.

However, there were more than one turbulent era, why only Liu Bei, Cao Cao, and Sun Quan stood together?Anyone who can stand up to the overall situation has all gone through hardships and cultivated enough ability to emerge as the times require.

There is a friend who writes together, always anxious, why other people's official accounts are getting bigger and bigger, why other people's books have sold millions of copies, why it is only a matter of minutes for others to set up a company to finance and recruit...

He said that although he knows that those successful self-media people bear the salaries of dozens of employees, the team often argues for hours for a title, stays up all night for an argument, and has to be on call at any time on weekends. over and over, but still willing to enjoy this trouble and sorrow.

So he asked, "Is the path leading to this affliction convenient, brisk, and quick?"

absolutely not.

I only see the brilliance of their money making, even if their troubles are high-level, but these brilliance, after thousands of days and nights of writing accumulation, tens of thousands of words of polishing and carving, can continue to output works, and only then can I write between the lines. Only with the smooth flow of water can we have the opportunity to gain insights at the top of the wind.

Maybe it's a suitable personality, maybe a wide network of contacts, maybe knowing people well, maybe being bold and cautious, or being flexible, but in the end it is ability to make a person, talent to carry dreams, not putting the cart before the horse.

Although there are lucky people in this world who can advance to a higher level of life without any effort, but the number of places is limited, the general public still needs to accumulate over time, and the road to success is not so easy.

A person's anxiety is because he only cares about the fruits of other people's success, but never really understands the process of others working hard for it. In the wind and the sun, you have to stick to the mud and tiles, layer by layer, block by block. Similarly, after ten years of sharpening your sword, you have never reached the sky in one step in this world.

Instead of wasting time on things like giving up studying for fame and fortune, or giving up studying because of money, it is better to think about what you are good at, whether there is room for development, and whether you can persevere.

The biggest difference between a successful person and a stagnant person is that the former never wastes time on considering the interference of external factors, and only concentrates on climbing and challenging, while the latter always has high eyes and low hands, and can be anxious while not working hard. In the end, I attributed this anxiety to not being able to meet my talents, and I only believed that I was a Chollima, and I hadn't met Bole who could develop my potential.

However, time is the best test. You can tell whether you have talent or not by just trying it.

When you are anxious, think about it, what hinders your success today?Maybe it's because you didn't work hard in the past. Although hard work may not be successful, at least it will let you understand that most of people's anxiety is looking for trouble in comparison. If you really want to eliminate this This kind of anxiety, you need to make yourself stronger through continuous improvement.

Only when you are strong enough, can you understand the hardships of starting a business, the dedication behind success, and fully understand that there is no free success in this world, and everyone has his own difficulty.

If you want to be free from anxiety, first live a regular life

1.how to relieve anxiety
A girl asked me on WeChat: "Sister Cassie, do you know how to relieve anxiety?"

She said that she has suffered from insomnia for many days and is always worried. In fact, it is just an ordinary thing in life, but it made her speculate on many pessimistic thoughts.

Her anxiety is reflected in two aspects, one is jealousy of others, and the other is dissatisfaction with her own state.

She watched her good sister marry a rich man, but she only had a boyfriend who worked from [-] to [-] with a dead salary and could see retirement at a glance, feeling anxious.

She also wanted to work hard to recharge, study and improve her professional skills, but she was worried that before she had time to implement it, she was robbed of the limelight by a new girl from the company. Her mistakes were compared with the little girl's complacency and anxiety.

She swiped Weibo all day long to read those inspiring jokes, but she didn't get any substantive help, and she woke up the next day still looking around in a daze, anxious.

As a result, she became more and more silent. She even felt that there was no hope for the future. Anxiety had overwhelmed her. She didn't know what to do, what to do, what to do. endlessly.

I asked her, "What do you do on weekends?"

She said: "There is no special arrangement, because I feel bad when I wake up, I simply sleep until noon, lie on the bed and play with my mobile phone, or go shopping with friends, eat and chat, and the weekend is over. "

I asked again: "Has the charging plan you mentioned started?"

She said: "No, I don't know how to start studying. I have been away from school for so long. I can't concentrate and study well."

She asked me, "Do you think it's time for me to see a psychiatrist?"

I sighed and said, "Actually, your 'disease' is very curable. You don't need to see a psychiatrist. You can live your life more regularly and you will be fine soon."

She didn't believe it: "Is it that simple?"

2.People with an empty heart are most likely to be anxious

Do you know what kind of people are most prone to anxiety?
A person with an empty heart.

When a person does not have family love, money, knowledge, ability, and self-confidence, he will be easily defeated. He is eager to get these, and wishes to turn his life around overnight. However, Midnight Dream He returned, only to find that everything was in vain, and he couldn't get it.

Asking for nothing is the most tormenting.

Just like the girl at the beginning, while worrying about the present and the future, she swiped Weibo until late at night.

She neither spent her time on improving her knowledge and skills, nor did she do things that would allow her to get more love. It's been all night" In this kind of joke, relying on late night imagination and the next day's daylight.

The emptiness in my heart must be getting heavier and heavier.

Lost support physically and mentally, naturally only anxiety remains.

This kind of anxiety is just another version of talent not worthy of ambition.

In fact, most of us are anxious to varying degrees. The important point to distinguish these levels of people is:
Some people can't do anything when they are anxious, and live in a state of emotional turmoil all day long. They use feasting and feasting to cover up the bitterness of counterproductive things, and use the argument of "effort is useless, no matter how poor the family is, it is difficult to get a good son" to overthrow the previous desire to go to bed early and get up early. dream plan.So from a distance, it seems to be doing nothing.

Some people, despite their anxiety, still don’t forget their work and family, they do what they have to do, put their anxiety aside when doing things, and only take it out to play with occasionally, and use anxiety as a means to push themselves forward power.As a result, his anxiety became less and less, the sense of accomplishment he gained through his daily efforts became stronger and stronger, and his life became more and more comfortable.

3.The benefits of a stable and regular life
I have studied parenting knowledge and mentioned that for children, a regular life can enhance their sense of security, so that children will not be anxious, dazed, or unfounded, because they already know what to do in the morning and what to do in the afternoon , what to do tomorrow.

It's the same for adults.

A stable and regular life allows you to have things to do, and this kind of things to do will bring you many benefits.

First of all, people who are prone to anxiety usually have greater mood swings.

Having something to do will drive a person to change from emotional to rational. When rationality dominates, emotions will also stabilize, thereby diluting the degree of anxiety.

Simply put, it's a distraction.

Second, it will increase your sense of accomplishment.

No one becomes a master overnight, and no one will transform gorgeously when they turn around. All you want will come to you after years of tempering. This is a protracted persistence, not your whim delusions.

A regular life is, to a certain level, a kind of repetition. When you do something repeatedly and develop hobbies or even skills on this basis, you will find that it becomes easier and easier. The so-called practice makes perfect .

The sense of accomplishment is the source of a person's self-confidence, because you know that after years of practice, something, something, and a certain state will easily become your pocket.

Furthermore, a regular life will give people a sense of security.

Such a sense of security is actually cultivated in the original family.

Some people’s original family’s growth environment is not good, which creates his unsound personality. This kind of person needs a sense of security very much, but at the same time he is very rebellious. He doesn’t know how to obtain it. He needs to establish a regular life by himself, to Create that sense of security.

4.really strong people

The more incompetent, the more anxious.

The more fulfilling, the more secure.

When you live a regular and stable life day after day, you will find that some stable breath has been cultivated.

This is not to let you live a monotonous life, but to tell you that some plans should not be interrupted easily; some persistence should not be abandoned casually. A person who knows how to control his time and state is a truly powerful person.

The famous Japanese designer Yohji Yamamoto once said: "I never believe in lazy freedom. The freedom I yearn for is a broader life achieved through diligence and hard work. That kind of freedom is precious and valuable; I Believe in the [-]-hour rule, don't believe in the inspiration of falling pie in the sky and the achievements of waiting, be a free and self-disciplined person, and live seriously with the determination that is bound to be realized."

Don't work hard at 20 years old, wait to cry at 30 years old

1. 20 years old, I don't know how to feel sad when I am young

When I was 20 years old, I was studying in Beijing, and I moved out of the dormitory to share with a good sister.

Two girls, who don't understand money planning, spent all their living expenses for the whole month in just one week, what should they do?I dare not tell my family, after much deliberation, the only way is to borrow money.

So, the two asked their classmates and friends to pool 2000 yuan, paid the rent, and after deducting fixed expenses, each of them only had 180 yuan left in the end.

I didn’t dare to go to the restaurant to order food, so I learned to cook from the recipes on the Internet, but I didn’t even know whether to put the oil or the vegetables first.

I can't meet up with friends, and I worry that my wallet will be empty when I pay the bill.

I can't watch movies and go shopping, so I just watch idol dramas, variety shows, and talent shows at home.

You said, "Is this considered poor?"

I think it's a good deal.

You say, "Was I sad?"

Really, almost never.

Opposite the house we were renting at the time, was the monitor of the good sisters class, who would find opportunities to treat us to dinner every three days. He would buy us pineapples on the way to school, and buy watermelons when he saw them on the way back from school.

There are also classmates upstairs who help us introduce part-time jobs, such as the operator of the talk bar, part-time workers, looking for foreign students to teach others Chinese... Although they are diverse, they are also very enthusiastic.

But even in this most difficult moment, I never felt that money is such an important thing.

This is fully reflected in my rejection of a man chasing me in a million-dollar sports car;
It shows that I don't envy people who live in five-star hotels when I eat Malatang;

It shows that my good sister is laughing and laughing all day long and doesn't even know how to write the word "poor";
It manifested in the fact that the two of us rented an ice skate Noh on Weiming Lake for half a day;

It is shown that we can also feel the same excitement as going to Dubai when we climb the Fragrant Hills with a ticket price of [-] yuan...

At that time, youth did not know what it was like to be sad.

Even if you encounter some ups and downs and laugh and curse with your friends, you will forget that tomorrow is another day and life is full of infinite hope.

2. The difference between falling in your 20s and falling in your 40s

Later, I met a female classmate from the past. She said that when she was young, she could easily live her life as a noisy main theme.

I can't slow down, I feel that life is hopeless.

This female classmate with a story is married and has children.

In the past, she advocated freedom and enjoyment, did not save money, did not work part-time, and did not work hard, just like the fisherman lying on the beach.

A rich man was on vacation at the seaside when he met a fisherman who was fishing.The rich man said: "I will tell you how to become a rich man and enjoy the true meaning of life." The fisherman listened attentively.

The rich man said: "First of all, you need to borrow money to buy a boat to go fishing. If you earn money, hire a few helpers to increase production, so as to increase profits. After that, you can buy a big boat, catch more fish, and earn more. Money. After that, buy a few more boats, set up a fishing company, and invest in an aquatic product processing plant. Then IPO the company and use the money from the circle to invest in real estate. In this way, you will be like me, Became a billionaire."

"What happens after becoming a billionaire?" The fisherman didn't seem to have enough understanding of this result.

The rich man thought for a while and said: "Becoming a billionaire, you can go to the seaside for vacation like me, bask in the sun, go fishing, and enjoy life."

The fisherman seemed to realize something: Oh, so that's the case, don't you think that I am living the life you said now? "

This story has always been used as a model of life by female classmates. Others are trying to find a job, and she just gets by. When others change jobs, she despises that the other party is unreliable. Back to a remote northwest town to get married.

I thought that from now on, men farming and women weaving will be at ease, and they will not envy mandarin ducks or immortals. A barefoot doctor who prescribes the same medicine for fever, cold and stomach ache, facing dozens of acres of land with crops... She felt that her world had almost collapsed.

I can't understand how regretful she is, I just want to know how she can save herself.

She was like a rose that watched her wither, the sunrise waited for the sunset, and the sunset closed her eyes, doing whatever she wanted, without any hope for tomorrow.

This is not the life she wants, and it is certainly not what you want.

If you are only in your 20s, you must have never experienced the feeling of being penniless at the age of 30.

You must have never experienced the feeling of being married and wandering around with your wife and children.

I must have never tried the feeling of renting a house at the age of 40 without accomplishing anything.

I must have never tried the feeling of being afraid to go to the hospital when I was sick.

You can't even imagine the feeling when the people around you, the people who used to stand on the same starting line as you, have finally crossed the class, but you are still trapped at the bottom of the society.

Being poor when you are single is not called being poor, you can play with your life, but what about in the future?What about when you have a family?What about when you are traumatized?Can you still use the previous standard to guide yourself to stand up again?

Three or 40 years old, having children, married, or still single, parents getting old, a serious illness...the poverty at that time is the real poverty.

Those hypocritical shadows in youth are all illusory, only the illness and suffering in front of me are real.

Gone are the days when you would be full of energy and try your best the next day after encountering ordeal, and there was only a walking corpse left, unable to withstand any blows.

Because your age is up, this society is no longer tolerant, they will only praise those geniuses and business tycoons who dominate at the age of 20, they have no mercy for people like you who live at the bottom, and make things difficult for you.

this is life.

When you fall in your 20s, you can get up quickly, but when you fall in your 40s, it hurts like a broken body.

You have to admit that age plays a role.

3.If you run away when you are young, you will inevitably cry when you are old

The news on the Internet is always varied. Some people steal from their roommates, some young people sell their kidneys to buy an iPhone, and some college students even "naked loans" for thousands of dollars...

I don't know what kind of serious desire is driving them to the point of no return at this moment. I only know that this is a business that puts the cart before the horse and is not worthwhile.

Their so-called poverty is just because they cannot have a glamorous appearance. They still don't understand what real poverty is.

Today, when housing prices are rising, and knowledge and education are not easy to realize today, when some people are 20 years old, the company has already raised funds to go public, and some people still take the bus when they are 30 years old. Whether the logo on the bag picture is exposed or not, but he doesn't care at all what his future life will be like.

In fact, what is confusion, what is dissatisfaction with the current job, what is envy, jealousy and hatred, but it is all because you have not made a clear plan for your life, and the problem of being idle is all because you cannot rely on your own hands Use your mind to create money and wealth, and find excuses.

If you are just escaping at this time, without practicing the ability to defend, you will cry when you are 40 or [-] years old.You have no idea what time has arranged for you.

If you still can't tell the priority, don't understand the meaning of young hard work, and only live in comparison and naivety, then wait until middle age and continue to be poor.

From 20 years old to 30 years old, to 40 years old, to 50 years old, people should go uphill. Your wealth and wisdom, your ability and tolerance should be proportional to your age, otherwise, you will live in regret. You will never be able to live the life you want.

Work hard while you are young, the older you are, the less you can support your unwillingness
1.There has never been a secure job in this world, the older you get, the more powerless you are

A female friend I knew cried in the group, saying that their company was too unreasonable. After learning that she was pregnant for two months, they tactfully persuaded her to quit under the pretext of not renewing the contract when the contract expired.She burst into tears, thinking that this was a violation of the labor law, but the company fulfilled the wage compensation in accordance with the relevant regulations. The only requirement was not to renew the contract. She would rather spend more money than terminate the cooperation.

Because she is an advanced mother, she is 35 years old, and she is about to become a novice mother in a hurry. Even she herself is not sure whether she can keep up with the original work rhythm after maternity leave. What's more, her journey is very likely to be accompanied by pregnancy reactions. , high blood pressure, all kinds of leave for maternity examination and recuperation.

Her position is not irreplaceable, and the company decided to stop losses in time based on real interests.

She is a gentle person and has no intention of going to court with her unit. Although she usually works hard and has outstanding abilities, she is often recognized by her leaders. She has been working smoothly for several years, but she doesn't know that there are accidents besides favors and abilities.

She understands, but it doesn't mean she is willing.Her dissatisfaction is not because of being fired, but because at the age of 35, she has no achievements in her career, and she has not even been in the management team. She has been working in a position that can be replaced at any time for many years. If she is pregnant, she may continue to do it until she retires.

But the reality will not protect her to retire steadily all the way. There has never been a stable job in this world. The society is constantly developing, and the changes are too fast and too much. The older I am, the more powerless I am.

Because she is about to face a life of parents and children, if there is not enough financial support for her to hire a nanny, and if there are not enough family members to help her take care of the children, she will probably continue to stay at home full-time, so she basically has no Too many opportunities to accomplish missed professional development.

2.The unwillingness of middle-aged people is a bit like chicken ribs, it is a pity to discard them if they are tasteless

The mid-life crisis does exist concretely, because at a certain age, the stage of taking responsibility has come. Making money, promotion, starting a business, as well as career planning, family maintenance, and self-reconciliation will basically appear at this stage. A definite result.

I once wrote "If you don't work hard at the age of 20, you will cry at the age of 30". I always emphasize that hard work must be early, struggle must be early, and hard work must be early, because people's energy is too limited, and young energy is too limited. The blood is too limited.

Only in the few years when I was young, if I fell down, I could get up without hesitation and start again; when encountering setbacks, I would not be so desperate that I would jump off a building and commit suicide, because the future will be long and there will be hope.

But as you grow older, that’s not the case. The relationship in marriage is all about the whole body. You dare not get sick because the hospital is so expensive; you dare not quit because the old and the old There is a small child, and the quality of life you are striving for in the middle; you dare not have a second child, because not only the economy cannot keep up, but also the energy cannot keep up, and even the female friends mentioned at the beginning dare not even have a child. You don’t even dare to start a business, because the idea of ​​throwing everything at one’s eggs is too scary, and the monthly mortgage and children’s education funds alone will make you unable to turn over.

At this time, if you look at it again, all the unwillingness has become tasteless, and it will be replaced by regret: why not fight while you are young?For the confusion when you are young, you can still try a few more roads, and the anxiety when you are old, you don’t even dare to try a few more roads.

You won’t be reconciled if you don’t work hard, but you can’t see substantial rewards for hard work, and there are too many entanglements, so you silently put away the unwillingness, continue to live like a dead body, and strive to maintain a seemingly stable state.

It’s not that life has always been so difficult. Many people who have achieved success in their careers will soon be overwhelmed by life changes after middle age. For example, the engineer who jumped off the building not long ago because of the company’s persuasion, was unable to fight back against the arrangements imposed by fate. And chose to end himself.

3.When you are old, behavioral habits and thinking patterns have been formed, and it is not easy to accept new things

Such as the emergence of artificial intelligence.

Kai-fu Lee once participated in an issue of "Wonderful Flowers". He said that "in the next 10 years, 50% of the occupations in human society will be replaced by artificial intelligence."Therefore, in the future, many people will face the crisis of being replaced by artificial intelligence and losing their jobs.

But to be honest, among us, especially the older ones, the ability to accept new things is very slow, and it is good to be able to accept new things. I am most afraid that some people will blindly reject and reject, which will lead to a large extent. They lose their competitiveness.

For example, create a public account and live broadcast.

Many post-95s and even post-00s are playing well, with clear thinking, innovative ideas, and unparalleled ability to follow the trend.

A friend of mine played live broadcast earlier. He bought a recording device to practice at home, but was scolded by his father for not doing his job properly.But he stays up late every day thinking about jokes, researching how to make his live broadcast look meaningful, and the income he receives depends entirely on his talent, so why not?

For another example, the convenience of Internet shopping has led to the rapid decline of traditional industries.

Older people can easily fail to keep up with this rhythm. After a few more years, society will develop faster and there will be more fresh elements. If we also reject new things in this way, instead of accepting them, studying them and pondering them, we will It will eventually lose its competitiveness and will be easily replaced.

So live and learn is not a simple slogan or catchphrase. You really need to practice it yourself, lay the foundation from a young age, and put yourself in a favorable competitive position at all times. In this way, even if the times change, you can at least not be so In a panic, at least he can have the ability to turn around.

4.Full of energy when young, able to withstand the difficulties of the world
My friend's uncle is addicted to alcohol, in a state close to alcoholism, skinny, and still refuses to quit drinking.

My friend felt that rather than saying that his uncle liked to drink, it might be better to say that he was trying to find an excuse for himself to escape.Uncle opened a supermarket. Later, many high-rise buildings nearby were built on the ground. Various large supermarkets, 24-hour convenience stores, and snack shops sprung up like mushrooms. The industry was clearly segmented, and each store was more professional.

Uncle's supermarket is gradually empty, close it, not reconciled, this is the source of livelihood for the whole family; don't close it, seeing more and more losses every day.Since then, my uncle has been drinking heavily, and maybe he can forget the pressure of reality when he is drunk.

Young people will also encounter such problems, but at least, he will not be so decadent, but can quickly find a way out.

Take my friend himself as an example. He has started his own business twice. His major is software development, so he organized a few classmates to study game software. He was not good at management, and the capital chain was broken again, so he had to sell it in the end.

But he didn't feel sad for too long. After all, he was still single, and the whole family was full. He quickly took out all his savings and invested in the wave of self-media entrepreneurship again, starting again.

This is the advantage of being young, fast adaptation, fast change, plenty of time, strong ability to resist pressure, and much easier to change course, so when you have such conditions, you have to believe that your efforts are not just to resolve the current stage. Confusion and anxiety are also giving yourself more possibilities for future contingencies.

5.The food you eat now is the condition of your body in half a year

There is no job that can last forever and allow you to enjoy your old age in peace, but the attempt when you are young is a preparation for combat in advance. You will accumulate enough experience or enough deposits, and you will see more industry development. With more capital for transformation, understand that the change of the times is full of unknowns, instead of just waiting to die, just waiting to grow old.

To make a living, to struggle, to fight hard, please do it as soon as possible, a new round of competition will start at any time, please be better prepared to face your aging self.Saving money capital, character, blessings, and ability. There is a theory that the food you eat now is the condition of your body in half a year, because the development of cells takes half a year.

Similarly, even if birth, old age, sickness and death will eventually come, even if the middle-aged crisis really exists, we try our best to save capital. The house you buy is your protection for many years, and the financial products you buy are years The post-unemployment security foundation, you work hard to climb to the management level, so that you will not be easily replaced and dismissed after many years.

Plan ahead, lest you fall and be unable to get up when you are old.

The way of thinking determines whether you will be a character or a waste 10 years later
1.Learning by doing is the best way to grow
During the Chinese New Year, I went to a friend's house to play, and heard her scolding her cousin on the phone.

The friend suddenly got angry, muttered "I can't help you" and hung up the phone.

I asked my friend what was going on, and she said that three years ago, my cousin asked me that.

My friend's cousin is a technician in a company with a monthly salary of [-] to [-] to [-] yuan. During the holidays, the unit will give out peanut oil and rice noodles. The days are peaceful and there is no extra income.

My cousin felt that the efficiency of the unit was not as good as one year. He thought that it would not work in the long run. It would be better to try to change the status quo. However, he always felt that the risk of changing careers was too high, and he had no other skills to add to him. So he asked his cousin, a talented student who graduated from the School of Foreign Languages, That is my friend, can you help analyze the current industry development.

Almost every time we meet, my cousin will intentionally or unintentionally ask about changing careers. At the beginning, friends will come up with various ideas, including what they know about the language market, Internet prospects, real estate and automobile status quo, online store management... Tell my cousin one by one, and said: "It doesn't matter if you don't understand these things. You can do your own research and see which industry you are interested in. You can't rush to change careers. It depends on your own ability and opportunity."

Then every time there is an opportunity to start a business, to change jobs to another company, or even to participate in training, my friends will think of my cousin and feel that he is about to transform. There is no harm in trying. Or start a business while studying in your spare time.

But my cousin said: "No, I don't have other skills. I have to find a stable industry before considering job-hopping, or I have to learn a skill before considering starting a business."

Three years have passed like this, and he asked his cousin countless times, but in the end he was still in the strange circle of thinking at the beginning: what industry should I change to?

Yes, he didn't do anything, and he kept thinking that the transition was not easy. He always used the excuse that the timing was not yet, and the excuse of not being good enough, but he never took any specific actions.

After the cliché, his cousin was also very helpless.

In fact, the problem of her cousin exists in many people. We always think that the future will be long and we need to be fully prepared to welcome a new starting point. But time never waits for anyone. Wait until you are ready to do it. The opportunity has already been fulfilled For others, watching while walking and doing while learning is the best way to grow.

2.The way of thinking determines a person's pattern and future direction

The way of thinking determines a person's pattern and future direction. People with poor thinking are always waiting in laziness, unwilling to make any efforts and changes, making excuses again and again, but just hope that the pie of overnight wealth will fall from the sky. Get out of trouble, but not have nothing.

People with rich thoughts never think about the consequences first, but seize the opportunity to work hard. They know how to pay first and then look at the results.

In fact, people like my cousin are very common. They always think about [-] ways to change late at night, and they are lazy the next day. They are trapped between their own fantasies and the status quo that they can’t change.

Short-sightedness or long-term thinking, to a certain extent, determines the upper limit of the class you can reach.

A reader once wanted to learn writing and asked me if there was any shortcut.I said no, but an author friend I know opened a course, which can teach you some writing skills and accumulation, all of which are dry goods, so that he can try to listen.Readers agreed again and again.

Later, he left a message asking me how the threshold of the public relations industry is.He saw that I had been in this industry for a long time and wanted to learn from it. I happened to be free and told him some related experience.

Later, he asked me again: "Have you ever been exposed to photography?"

I asked: "Have you tried writing articles? Have you understood the PR industry?"

He replied dejectedly: "It's too difficult to do public relations. I can't do it without resources. Writing articles is too difficult. I can't type a word for a long time."

I said, "Then what exactly do you want to do?" He said, "He doesn't know, he just wants to find someone to help him, and it's better not to do anything, just drop money from the sky." I said: "Go and dream."

I really don't agree with this way of thinking.

There is a saying: the way of thinking determines whether you will be a character or a waste ten years later, it is true.

3.Don't stop, time and opportunity wait for no one
A Dong was a classmate of a computer training class I had attended.

He recently set up a group to bring together classmates who hadn't been in touch for a long time.The new group is always lively. After so many years, we are also quite emotional about our respective situations.

A few years ago, A Dong had a thorough study of computers, and took advantage of the trend to open an Internet cafe. At that time, computers were still scarce for ordinary students, and an Internet cafe that cost two yuan an hour became a place for them to play games. , chatting paradise.

Adong's Internet cafe is located near a university. Although the competition is fierce, but because the environment is good, sofas and private rooms are all available, and the advantages are obvious, the business is booming. He has become a successful small boss.

In just a few years, many students have their own laptops, and besides, what can't be done with a smartphone?Who still likes to be decadent in a smoky Internet cafe?The times are changing, and people are growing up. Adong’s Internet cafe has lost its former prosperity after a renovation. Occasionally, some people who play games in groups come to patronize. The rest of the time, people in twos and threes are not enough for this year’s water and electricity. fee.

But he is not in a hurry, because in the process of opening an Internet cafe, he is well aware of the convenience and advantages of Internet shopping, and has already settled in a large website and opened an online store.Since the business opportunity is discovered early, the operation can be done quickly.In the era of the decline of Internet cafes, his source of income has already relied on the Internet to re-emerge.

A Dong usually likes to study new things, and he has never said that he wants to change careers, seek development and change ideas, but the process of his exploration along the way has already provided him with more possibilities.

Recently, he has researched unmanned vending machines and parent-child restaurants, which seem to have nothing to do with him and his current career, but who can say for sure what will happen in the future?Maybe one of your thoughts becomes an opportunity for the rest of your life.

For a while, I was always dissatisfied with writing articles, and felt that my thinking was lacking, so I decided not to write, and read every day, and then I would write when I really settled down to a capable and unique style of writing, but a senior persuaded me that there is no need Wait.

Apply while reading, write while reading, revise while writing, learn as you move forward, and continue to move forward on the road of progress. If you only read, but do not output, your writing style will still stay at the original stage .

In fact, there are more possibilities and opportunities in every industry. Even if it is not saturated, fate will favor people who do not take the usual path, but the premise is that you have such courage.

So don't stop, because opportunities are fleeting. When you stop and think that you are enriching yourself, fate has favored others. If you don't understand, ask, if you don't know how to learn, time and opportunities never wait for others. How can there be so many years? You go to waste?
A person's success is often not because of his lack of ability, but whether he has a relatively advanced thinking mode.Choose a high-quality platform and a high-quality circle, don't get entangled in details, don't care about immediate gains and losses, be bold and careful, work hard with one mind, and start your own life of cheating.

You are flourishing in the original field, change the battlefield, is that okay?
1.Do you have the ability to quickly accept new things

A friend in the author circle has written articles for many years. He used to submit articles to magazines and newspapers. Sometimes he was rejected, and sometimes he was adopted.When it is adopted, an article will have a manuscript fee of tens of dollars.

Later, Internet novel websites emerged, and she felt novelty, so she wrote novels, updated daily on the website, was recommended by editors not long after, gained her first batch of fans, and gained a fixed income through fan subscriptions.

One after another, her works were favored by the publishing company, and the conditions were negotiated, the paper book was published, and a second batch of readers came.

In the past two years, her novels have sold IPs, and she has created a public account to easily realize the realization of knowledge, which not only allows her to present more diversified works, but also keeps advertising invitations, allowing her to directly get the promotion of multi-millionaire level pass.

The development of the times is so fast. Apple’s replacement has reached X, Nokia has been closed for a long time, and Internet shopping has long been common. Five years ago, a person with a monthly salary of 90 was called a model of success. With an investment of [-] yuan, the post-[-]s generation has already received the B round of financing.

Ten years ago, every time I passed by a newsstand on the street, I would buy a copy of the current issue of "Southern Weekend" and "Youth Digest"; ten years later, we are all used to reading articles on the official account. Or inspirational chicken soup, emotional communication, or psychological exploration, everything is available.The trend of traditional paper media is gone, and self-media is rising strongly.

Kai-fu Lee once mentioned artificial intelligence on the scene of "Wonderful Flowers" and asked directly: "What should you do if you are all unemployed in the future?"

There is no doubt that with the emergence of artificial intelligence, with the rapid change of industries, and with the emergence of talents, those who have no flexibility will eventually be eliminated.

The friends mentioned at the beginning have the ability to quickly accept new things, successfully transform, complete the realization of knowledge, and achieve financial freedom, but many people do not have this kind of thinking ability, and they will always instinctively reject, resist, and reject. Don't think about new things at all.

In fact, this kind of mentality is self-deception. They are unwilling to believe that their current actions will be replaced, and they stubbornly believe that their path has always been correct, thinking that this way they can maintain their glory forever. No real help.

2.Lifelong, continuous learning ability
When I was in Beijing, I had a friend who was in the seafood business. His hometown is a coastal city. Many of my friends have fishing boats and go fishing regularly.As a fisherman, he is good at freezing and fresh-keeping technology, and the industrial chain involves transportation, so he has unique resources and transportation advantages.

The cooperative customers include many five-star hotels, Japanese grocery stores, and top seafood restaurants. Because they can afford good prices and can afford big business, they have flourished for a while.At that time, he casually invited us to dinner with the gesture of thousands per person, and it has been so beautiful for many years.

Later, cold fresh technology became more and more powerful, transportation costs became lower and lower, and the price competition of fresh seafood became more and more fierce. His career gradually went downhill.

He reacted very quickly, and before he made a loss, he had already switched to the coal mining industry and studied mining with his friends.This is also due to the network resources he accumulated when he was in the seafood business. He has a good character and never forgets his friends when he has a good development, so now his friends are helping him in turn.

I don't know if this counts as his comeback, but he is indeed living a richer and richer life than in the past.

Whether you are in business or in the workplace, you need to be flexible. To put it bluntly, you can’t do it with only one technology, because most industries will show a certain trend of decline after reaching saturation.

Yuval Harari, the author of the best-selling book "A Brief History of Humanity", said in an interview: "By 2040, people must learn throughout their lives and keep upgrading so that they can stay out of the game. Therefore, we must cultivate children's ability to continue learning. What should we be teaching our kids? My advice is, focus on resilience and emotional intelligence.”

Instead of relying on the experience of adults or the convenience brought by high technology, we should focus on the cultivation of resilience and emotional intelligence. This actually tells us that if a person wants to survive better in society, he must have excellent resilience ability.

Resilience determines his acceptance and response when facing new challenges, and whether he can quickly incorporate the development of the new era into his life, while emotional intelligence helps him establish a more stable and sustainable development space.

You should always be prepared to exercise your ability to transform and change industries at any time, so as to avoid one day when new opportunities come, but you cannot grasp them.

Therefore, you really don’t need to long for stability, because there is no such thing as constant stability in this world. What you have to do is to seek to gain a firm foothold in an unstable situation.

3.Maintain a sense of crisis at all times and be prepared for a protracted war
I once read a short fable, "The Tutor of the Lion and the Antelope":
Every day when the sun rises, the animals on the African savannah start to run.

The lion mother taught the little lion like this: "My child, you must run faster, and faster, if you can't even run the slowest antelope, you will starve to death."

In another field, the mother antelope is also teaching the little antelope: "Child, you must run faster, and then run faster. If you can't run faster than the fastest lion, then you will definitely be caught by them." eat."

Is it not the case in our social environment?If you run slowly, you will fall behind, and if you fall behind for a long time, you will never be able to catch up. In the end, you can only be eliminated.Sadly, when the time comes, there's nothing you can do but accept failure.

Then why not study hard at the beginning and prepare for the protracted battle?People should maintain a sense of crisis at all times, and pay more attention to industry news and trends in other industries. There is no harm. It is also a good thing to get in touch with people from different industries and exchange ideas with each other.

If you don’t hold a tight string yourself, but leisurely think that everything will be fine with a dead salary, then you may be the first batch to be eliminated.

Many years ago, bloggers were popular, even though bloggers with hundreds of thousands of fans were the best in the crowd, they were not as powerful as today's official accounts, so the current self-media is a hot spot and an opportunity.

As for those authors who have many years of experience in writing articles and have maintained a huge accumulation of original materials, they have already possessed a strong ability to control words after years of training, so they are handy, follow the trend, and succeed quickly.

This is the preparation they have made many years ago, and it is the ability they have cultivated outside their daily life. Once the opportunity comes, then achieving themselves is just a matter of course.

(End of this chapter)