The more self-discipline you have, the more freedom you have

Chapter 3 Life is not only about being able to do subtraction, but also to be able to do addition
What kind of person should you be when you are young?
1.Why do wishes come true again and again

A reader sent a long message, describing his 24-year-old appearance.

He said that he was familiar with the entrepreneurial history of entrepreneurs such as Ma Huateng, Liu Chuanzhi, Yu Minhong, Ma Yun, etc., and imagined that he could climb from a small valley to the top and see all the small mountains, from starting from scratch to a net worth of trillions, from being unknown to a person Dragon of the Middle...

For this reason, he has been planning to start a business for half a year. He is doing software development and plans to start with game development.In the middle of the night and early in the morning, how many times I poured chicken soup to myself facing the lights of thousands of houses outside the window: Many celebrities also survived in this way;What he thought was that he could always see the light, maybe he could become the next bellwether of the Internet, maybe.

After modifying bugs countless times, he felt a lot of despair about typing codes. He comforted himself, forget it, with his current salary, it is enough to pay off the mortgage. What kind of business do you want to create?
As a result, the nine-to-five days were restored, and the lights in his bedroom never met the starlight at three o'clock in the morning.

Later, he envied freelancers again. Because he was born with a good skin, a friend introduced a part-time job as a model to him. After an event, a stack of RMB with Mao Zedong imprinted on it was directly put into his hands , he thought, how fast the money comes.

The dream of becoming a model sprouted again. Anyway, being young is all about tossing. Maybe this is a road to the showbiz, maybe he can become the next Zhang Liang, maybe.

So, through friends, friends of friends, relatives, classmates of relatives, colleagues, and old friends of colleagues, he hopes to get to know more performing arts people, which can become a springboard for him from amateur to professional model.

As you can imagine, the wish has failed again, and wild models are not so easy to be.

He returned to the computer and typed code.

He became distressed, anxious, and irritable, and always felt that the sky was not what he wanted, saying that gold would always shine, but his light was hidden behind the screen full of codes, and no one could recognize it.

At the age of 24, he has only walked a quarter of the distance on the road of life, and he is already facing a thick fog, and the road ahead is blurred. He doesn't know what kind of person he should be.

2.Don't always apply other people's survival mode

It's nice to be young.I tell readers that youth is capital, because if you take a wrong step, you can turn back and start over from another path.

Besides, why don't you believe that you are also excellent now?
I have friends who are also programmers.As far as I know, four or five years ago, his internship salary was already close to [-]. Of course, he is in the imperial capital. I don’t know if the price is the same in other cities, but generally speaking, the salary in this industry is not too low. , because it takes a lot of brain power.

In this way, giving and reward are equal, if you work hard.

In your 20s, everyone will experience confusion. The root cause of this confusion is that you have read too many inspirational versions of others and want to be someone else.

Because I don’t have extra strength to support myself, when faced with too many goals and wishes, I always use successful people as models; because I don’t get the right guidance, when there is a little chance, I can’t wait to grab it. In this way, reset your life goals.

People are always eager to succeed, eager to become a leader in a field, but success is not so easy, and you never thought about being yourself.

What do you call yourself?In fact, it is also very simple, that is, you have to see your strengths and interests during the tossing years, and then go all the way.

It’s not impossible to be a model by knocking codes, but you have to know that it’s not easy to become a monk halfway, and pursuing dreams is also very precious. The most important thing is, is this suitable for you?

If you always apply other people's survival mode, but cannot gain effective experience to be yourself, then you will face failure again and again. To put it bluntly, in your 20s, you should be in the midst of mistakes that can be forgiven and can be repeated , looking into the right direction.

3.Which life plan is more in line with your reality
A friend who hadn’t seen her for many years said in a group that she was preparing for the actuary qualification exam.

Memories from the past suddenly emerged, remembering that she did mention at that time that there was an urgent shortage of actuaries at home and abroad, and she had already wanted to take this path in high school.The original ordinary girl became dazzling because of her goal. However, the journey is too long, it will take several years, and it is only natural to betray her halfway.

She used to envy those versatile women who were good at singing and dancing, so she enrolled in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting classes, and wanted to build herself into a living room and a kitchen, but later found that she had no talent and no interest.

She was also envious of bold and courageous women, who tried to reason with reason and never compromised, so she changed her direction to practice, to do marketing and marketing. After years of fighting, she finally knew that she was taciturn and could not practice sharp tongue.

Perhaps only when you are alone, you have the opportunity to ask yourself what exactly you want and which life plan is more in line with your reality.

She finally let go of her obsession and told herself that she was only in her twenties, and her original dream was still there. She didn't want to force herself through other ways that she was not good at. Her goal was finance, financial management, and actuarial calculation, so she quietly prepared, This preparation lasts for three or four years.

I don't know if she can pass the exam, but for her, the status of an actuary is more suitable than a good wife and mother.

You've been longing to be someone else all the way, and you can only be yourself in the end.

4.Be yourself, follow what you believe in
At the age of 30, you should understand that you must have an achievable goal and a path that you can continue to walk. In this way, at the age of 30, you will have fewer regrets, and the road will be easier to walk. Smoother.

Instead of taking it for granted, take a step to the east and a step to the west, let alone walk around without knowing the direction.It is good to yearn for others, but the way of others is not your way.You know the major you are studying by yourself; you know best whether there are opportunities around you that you can seize; you know best whether you meet people who help and support you;

In my 20s, so young, what kind of person should I be?You should be yourself through trial and error.

Lessons learned from the past are only lessons learned, not repetitions.

Another person's path is his footsteps, not your destiny.

Facing Qin Muchu, apart from making you take more detours, there is no real benefit.

Some things can be imitated, some things cannot be copied.

Although your 20s are long and you have time to make mistakes, if you can't find the way you want to go from your mistakes, then this mistake is very wrong.

Therefore, you still have to be yourself, follow the goals you believe in, and your own path, and every step counts.

Reconciliation with the world is a compulsory course in life

1.Happiness begins with reconciliation with the world

Following the previously popular analysis of "the overwhelmed post-80s", several new words have become popular recently: greasy middle-aged, Buddhist youth, post-90s who became monks...

Although the article is mostly ridiculed and self-deprecating, after careful study, it is found that it is full of anxiety in most of us.

Whether they are middle-aged people, or those born in the 80s and 90s, more and more people are struggling with great anxiety and pressure. News of sudden death from overtime work and fatigue are endless, and the happiness index plummets.So we have no choice but to comfort ourselves, analyze ourselves, and ridicule ourselves, hoping to relieve our stress and worries in various feasible ways.

In fact, after changing the angle, you will understand that both anxiety and happiness are an indispensable part of growing up to maturity. What we have to do is not to add too much drama to ourselves, not to magnify it and resist it, but to accept it and reconcile with it. Exercise your ability to transform negative emotions into positive attitudes.

Because we have to live in this world for decades and are destined to become mature, it is better to change from angry youth to gentle person, from sentimental and jealous to tolerant and open-minded, from contempt and ridicule to friendly and full of love.

A person's sense of happiness starts from knowing more and more how to reconcile with the world.

2.Reconcile with yourself and accept an ordinary life

I used to be pretentious, thinking that I was smarter than ordinary people, and I don’t know where the sense of superiority came from. I believed that one day I would definitely change the world. Who hasn’t had a few crazy dreams when I was young? Woolen cloth?

Later, I gradually realized that in the vast world, I was too ordinary, and I could only talk freely in the circle I was familiar with. Once I jumped out of the higher and more professional category, I couldn't speak well.

In the past, I was always complacent about my extra points, thinking that it was an advantage, but later I found out that this is just a small skill, and it is just common for really outstanding people.

I was disturbed by it, I was disappointed in myself, I didn't understand what was wrong, and overnight, my confidence almost turned into low self-esteem.And the source of all this is actually because I have known more people and classes, and seen a wider world.

The world is so vast, and there are so many excellent people. In comparison, there will always be high and low.

Some people sneer at the behavior of others.

And those other people, in turn, dismissed other people.

You see, everyone is the same, we are the same.

There was once a colleague who seldom communicated with everyone in the unit, and seldom interacted with others after work. We all thought he was aloof, but later someone said that he actually disdains to communicate with others.

He felt that the topics discussed by everyone were gossip and trivial, and this kind of social interaction was not nutritious.He believes that he is superior in both professional and ability, and does not communicate with others at all.He also believes that he has a super high EQ and IQ, and he is unwilling to condescend.

As it turned out, he was wrong.

The loss of his customer resources is very serious, and the reason why customers are unwilling to continue to cooperate is that he does not know what respect is.When he encounters difficulties, there is almost no one to help him, because he always treats others coldly.

Here, I am not saying that it is good to be in a group, or that it is not good to be independent, but that it is not good to be superior, and it is too easy to lose your way and become paranoid, and you will not listen to persuasion.

The most important thing to be a human being is to relax. When you are struggling, your nerves are tense, but you must know how to relax your mind.It's not that difficult to accept your own ordinaryness, but it's domineering, which will make you lose more than you gain.

Pu Shu is singing: Ordinary is the only answer.

3.Make peace with your emotions, nothing in this world is too important to get you out of control
As long as we live in this world, we will still encounter various injustices.

So it is too easy to mobilize the emotions, anger, madness, worry, and fear of the whole body.

Bad emotions are too destructive, making people negative, slack, and losing the joy and desire of life, replaced by malaise. If things go on like this, the failures caused by emotions will expand.What is hurt is not only my daily life, but also getting along with my family, interpersonal relationships and career territory.

If you don't want to be a Beat Generation yet, you still have to find a way to save yourself.

It is the only way to change from passive to active.

In fact, as we grow older, most people can more or less perceive that there is nothing in this world worth losing control of.

Things that haven't happened aren't worth your worry and fear, and if it's coming, why would you want to lose your joy prematurely?
Don't be too persistent about the status quo that cannot be changed. There is still a long way to go, and time is passing. As long as you have the heart, there will always be a day when you change.

Most importantly, form positive self-suggestions for yourself.

You can write a diary, write articles, and vent your emotions with words.You can chat with relatives and friends and communicate with each other.You can seek professional advice and try self-analysis.

No matter which one, there is only one purpose, that is self-love, self-confidence, and self-improvement.Benign emotions can make people cheerful and rational, and make people full of love for the world.

If you have to work overtime, do it with hope, not depression and fear of sudden death.

If you are entangled in the future of your career and work, choose the path that makes you more motivated. Only people who have motivation can go far.

If you really want to explode, then find a place where no one is around and yell a few times, and after you yell, go on with your life.

In the world of adults, it is necessary to have a filter function to clean up bad emotions on a regular basis.

Those post-90s who are said to have become monks are actually just looking for things worth doing in this long life, abandoning things that are not worth doing, and reconciling with their own emotions. A self-emotional practice.

4.Reconcile with parents and untie the shackles of the original family

Among all pessimistic thoughts, the one that is most likely to become an excuse is this one: the troubles caused by the original family.

The bad personality is caused by the original family, and the parents did not show good looks since childhood.

Low emotional intelligence is caused by the original family. Parents don't know what emotional intelligence is, they only beat and scold.

The lack of IQ is caused by the original family, the parents are not intellectuals, and the genes are too bad.

The lack of money is caused by the original family. Others’ parents have already prepared the house, car tickets, and their own parents have nothing.

Please, you are an adult, you are free, and the biggest failure is your own responsibility.In social relationships, there is never a fair one. Everyone has a different starting line.Life is a long-distance race, low starting point is only one of the congenital conditions, and acquired hard conditions play the main role.

If you have the stamina, can persevere, run steadily, and constantly open up new paths, you can always find opportunities to surpass.As an adult, you should have the courage to be responsible for your own life, and always live in the expectation of your parents, which is a typical dependence performance of a giant baby.

If you want to be successful and happy, you have to use all means to get out of the control of your original family, instead of complaining and regretting all the time.

As an adult, the initiative in life is in your own hands. What happened in the past is not your responsibility, but everything that happens in the future is your choice and you must take responsibility.

In the final analysis, always refreshing and not greasy, always keep forging ahead, and always be positive and optimistic are just our good expectations. There is no perfect person in this world, but life is upward, and our growth should also be upward.

If you want to live well and live with peace of mind, you must learn to moderately reconcile with your obsessions.When you know the difference between letting go and picking up, and the difference between persistence and stubbornness, you can truly deal with the chores of life with ease.

Effort is necessary, but if in the end it is a mess and you can't get the desired result, don't be sad, learn to let go, because there is a more difficult road ahead waiting for you to make a choice, a person who understands the relationship between self and the world For a reconciled person, the world will not deliberately embarrass him.

If you have to be urged by others to "make money", then you will be like this for the rest of your life

1.You can only care about making money
In the finale of "Ode to Joy", Fan Shengmei and Wang Baichuan broke up peacefully.

What impresses me the most about the relationship between the two is not that Wang Baichuan is struggling between the conflicts between Fan Shengmei and her original family, but the process of Fan Shengmei constantly forcing Wang Baichuan to work harder and harder.

In an episode during the Spring Festival, Wang Baichuan wanted to take a good vacation for himself and spend a few days of leisure, but Qu Xiaoxiao went abroad to discuss business and asked him for a project, which required him to contact the manufacturer for a quotation.

Wang Baichuan was very reluctant, with a look of embarrassment on his face, and he was extremely entangled: "Now that the Chinese New Year is coming, who still works?"

Qu Xiaoxiao said: "Me, my family is so rich, I am the most qualified to eat and wait to die, why don't I just drag my luggage all over the world looking for business."

Another time, during the May Day holiday, Wang Baichuan went back to his hometown to celebrate his grandfather’s [-]th birthday. On the way, he received a call from Qu Xiaoxiao. Qu Xiaoxiao is in Germany, and there is also an order that requires Wang Baichuan to give an urgent quotation.

Wang Baichuan's complaints this time were very obvious. He repeatedly explained that he had offended many people last time, and said that he really didn't want to do this business, and could he wait until the holidays were over.

Qu Xiaoxiao said: "No, you can wait for other things, but can you wait for business?"

The final results of these two times were all due to Fan Shengmei's pressure. Wang Baichuan put aside his leisurely holidays and quickly called around to find a manufacturer that also works on holidays and get a quotation.

Although Fan Shengmei lacks a sense of security, she deeply knows that she has an ineffective brother and patriarchal parents, so she repeatedly challenged Wang Baichuan's mental state and forced him to work hard to fight for it, but if it wasn't for her, Wang Baichuan might not be able to make money To these two orders and the intention of long-term cooperation.

On a bigger scale, if Fan Shengmei didn't urge him to move forward, his company would not be able to start, and his entrepreneurial journey would most likely die in the middle, because he never tried his best.

Even in the end, Wang Baichuan was deceived into bankruptcy, it was Fan Shengmei who found connections and asked others to help him turn over.What about himself?He has been dragged away by Fan Shengmei.

Therefore, when they broke up, Wang Baichuan might feel easier financially, but his financial conditions are probably at the current level, because he has no intention of forcing himself to climb up.

Qu Xiaoxiao is different, she is a person who can cheer up and visit customers everywhere even after a broken relationship. You humbly make people smile, and stalk them. People like you who only know how to sit in the store every day and wait for the order to come out, are only worthy of a monthly salary of two to three thousand to make ends meet.

Although the words are harsh, it is the truth.

You don't care about making money yourself, who else do you expect to help you?
2.To be successful, you must strive for it with all your strength.
I'm not saying that Wang Baichuan's lifestyle is not good, but since he chose to start a business, he definitely wants to realize his dreams or values, and he definitely wants to be a successful person. If he doesn't try his best, he will fail. Time should not complain, give up on oneself, should not lament unfair fate and bad luck.

Making money is the basic principle of adult survival, whether you like it or not, you have to do it.

Whether this matter is done well or not is directly related to your quality of life and level of existence, is it important?It's very important, you don't care about such an important thing, do you still expect a sudden drop of pie to make you rich overnight?Why don't you go to heaven?
Look at Qiu Yingying, after taking the initiative to attack, didn't she get a promotion and salary increase?Also has an independent office.

Look at Wang Bochuan, after Fan Shengmei urged him, did he get the order?Business is booming, right?

In this world, there are always many ordinary people. As ordinary people, we have to cheer ourselves up.

Jiang Xin, who plays Fan Shengmei, quickly became popular with the role of Concubine Hua in "The Legend of Zhen Huan". However, the role of Concubine Hua was not originally set for her.As a result, we all know that she shaped the classic Concubine Hua, and Concubine Hua also made her.

If she hadn't argued for it back then, maybe she wouldn't be where she is today.

Opportunities are fleeting, and those who can succeed must strive for it with all their strength.

I know a person who is the only child in the family. He was spoiled by his parents since he was a child, and he still gnaws at the old man at the age of 30.

Every morning, his parents wake him up, and he is late for four out of five days at work.

His parents gave him a down payment to buy a house for him, hoping that he would repay the loan himself. He thought it was too stressful, so he sold the house instead. As a result, the house price rose sharply two years later, and he regretted it.

He doesn't like to work overtime, so the manager arranged a project for him. What a great opportunity, how can he train people?He cried and said he was tired, and then resigned.

We are adults, and we have already learned all kinds of pros and cons. We know that we will go further into the sea and sky, and take a step back into the abyss. We still procrastinate and refuse to go forward, for fear that the mountain will be tiring, and the wind will be cold. , Fearing that it would be cold on the mountainside, we were single-minded and refused to wrong ourselves.

What else can I do?Just live with the status quo for the rest of your life.

3.What it means for an adult to work hard to make money

I used to be a person who had no desire for money. I was not obsessed with earning money, and I was not good at investment and financial management.

This kind of personality caused me to have little savings, not strong self-motivation, suffered losses in front of interests, and been fooled by villains. Even so, I didn't care much about it, so that people in their twenties seemed particularly naive and naive.

It was probably after my son was 3 years old that I really had a clear concept of money. Various interest classes came oncoming, school district housing was also put on the agenda, and traveling abroad with children was regarded as reading thousands of books and traveling thousands of miles. The model of the school, the knowledge piled up with money has become the first choice for quality education.

This is not a problem that can be solved by choosing an extremely expensive and excellent school for the child, but a long-term investment in parenting. What parents desire is not the temporary sense of superiority of the child, but to put sufficient experience, noble The lineage of the child is implanted into the child's growth process. If it is not a noble family, it will artificially create a family atmosphere close to the noble family.

Although I sneer at the big slogan "Don't let children lose at the starting line", I also understand that giving children the best education within their ability must be beneficial to children's lives.

This perception makes many parents anxious, including me.

Thinking about this, I am afraid that the only way out for me is to work harder and harder. In the past, I let myself be indifferent, but now I no longer dare to be arrogant.In addition, we must build a strong spiritual fortress, not only seeking high-quality companionship, but also respecting self-improvement, from astronomy and geography, to history, Tang poetry and Song poetry, painting and calligraphy, and handicrafts. The material basis reaches the level of harmony and unity.

After all, if I'm lazy, complaining, unprogressive, and industrious, how can I set an example for my son who wants to be alive and who can do anything?
This is the consensus reached by us, thousands of parents. Now that we are married and have children, we should give ourselves a strong sense of responsibility. From now on, we are no longer children, but we must do our best to take care of our children.

This is one of the meanings of being an adult trying to make money.

4.Making money is my own business, and my heart is fundamental

Before my new book came out, Changchang told me immediately: "Sister Cassie, let me know when your new book comes out. I'll promote it for you. If you can sell more copies, it's worth it."

I posted a promotional article, and she forwarded it to Moments in time, constantly urging me: "Sister, quickly post to Moments, post more times, and spread the word quickly, the speed is not as fast as mine, really."

The update frequency of my official account is relatively slow. Every time there is a hot topic or an idea, Qiye will share with me: "Sister Cassie, write an article quickly. You need to update more." Articles that he thinks are good will also be posted on Help me promote on his official account.

Uncle Qi also always said that when promoting a new book, and when it needs to be forwarded and exposed, contact him at any time.

Many readers, as well as friends, forwarded and shared for me the first time, and made reservations on JD.com or Dangdang at the first time.

Their sincerity gave me more warmth. When I was not motivated, passionate, or active, it was their strength that pushed me forward a long way.

I was particularly moved, even though my original inspirational essays were to some extent just for self-motivation and redemption, and I didn't say that I must be successful or to what extent.

But making money is your own business, whether you are successful or not is your own business, and whether you want to win the world is also your own business. If you don't care about it yourself, who can save your life?

Although there is no such thing as working so hard to reach the sky in one step, it is impossible for you to be diligent and take the initiative to work and live seriously to realize your dreams.

The truth is, sometimes you work hard for a long time, your mind is exhausted, your body is almost unable to hold on, and your salary may have only increased by 500 yuan.

But the meaning of our diligence, active striving, and persistence is not to take breaking the solidification of class as the goal of this life, but to make ourselves better than yesterday and live a better life than last year.

You should not let others urge you to make money. You should take the initiative to shoulder the responsibility on your shoulders and win a better tomorrow for your family and yourself.

What kind of possibilities can a diploma from an institution of higher learning bring to life?

1.What's the point of making yourself into a deep myopia?

A girl who was a sophomore in high school once left me a message.

She felt very confused. Apart from sleeping and eating, her life consisted of doing questions, reviewing test papers, and reciting words day and night.She has a friend who dropped out of junior high school but is at ease all day long. She has endless pocket money in her pocket, buys clothes she likes without hesitation, throws away things she doesn't like without hesitation, and talks legitimately. In love, life is always colorful.

She asked me:
It must be cool to drop out of school to work, earn money to support yourself, and do whatever you want, right?

It must be very pleasant to be able to sit in a coffee shop with your best friend at any time, drinking coffee and chatting about your thoughts, right?
Now the streets are full of people with a college degree but can't find a job. Years of hard work have been useless. You must be very disappointed, right?
She doesn't understand, what's the point of making herself into a deep myopia, what's the point of being depressed at the age of 17.

In the end, she emphasized that she really wanted to drop out of school, but her mother disagreed, so she brought up the so-called Internet: respect for children's thoughts and will; real education, not the scores on test papers; you are only young once, you have to fight for yourself Live and wait for this kind of concept.She said no one understood her.

2.The role of a notice
I know.When I was 17 years old, I also hated the exam very much. Whenever I couldn't find the answer or the score was not satisfactory, whenever I felt that youth should be lively and lively instead of being silent in the sea of ​​questions, I always put everything The blame lies with test-oriented education itself.

Although various educational concepts have been optimized over the years, and parents no longer blindly pursue only one score, the imprint of exam-oriented education still exists deeply.

I used to always think that it deserves death. It deprives too many children of happiness and innocence, and makes many people lose their eyesight and become stupid.

But what I don't understand is why our mind keeps degenerating.

Obviously, the middle class has tried its best to provide all kinds of high-quality educational resources for their children. Many people are considering studying abroad. The mainstream value orientation of all walks of life in society is: relying on competition to obtain everything they want.

But there are still some people who feel that going to college is a waste of time and that studying is useless. This is really a sad idea. People with this idea are destined to be classified into the end of the social stratification with no advantages.

Moreover, I have always believed that being able to adapt to exam-oriented education is a kind of ability in itself.

The society needs comprehensive talents. You can't win the world just by the scores on the test papers. You must also have the wisdom to deal with people, keep your EQ and IQ online, understand the intrigue in the workplace, and understand the survival rules of the outer circle and the inner circle.Not only that, you also need to keep charging and learning, so that you can always have the best fighting state.

And all comprehensive abilities also need a notice. This notice determines whether your ability will be appreciated and what kind of encounter you will encounter.If there are no people who have passed many tests and reached the top of the ivory tower, are there those who left school halfway and stood at the bottom of society?

You have to know that it is not people who control the environment, it is the environment that changes people.

3.Most people need a degree to knock on the door of the new world
The distance between the two of you is really widened by you taking a break from school to work while he continues his studies.In this process, the environment around you is already different, the level of people you know is different, and the social events you experience are also different. Even the intrigue in the workplace will not be of the same level.

Over time, your vision, thinking mode, network range, and way of dealing with things will be completely "unspeakable".

With these differences, stratification occurs in life.

If you have earned some money because you took a break from school to work, or your family conditions are not bad, you may temporarily feel that there is no difference between you. It is not a day or two before this kind of speech becomes popular.

But the paper proof of academic qualifications will completely shatter your dreams.

Education is not the most important thing, but education is a stepping stone.How can there be so many social incidents of "you are excellent, you can win without academic qualifications and experience"?Even if there are, they are very few.

Most people need to rely on their academic qualifications to knock on the door of the new world.

A classmate of mine works in a large state-owned enterprise, and the minimum criterion for interviewing in their department is a bachelor's degree.

There is also a friend who works as HR in a foreign company, and their important functional department management talents first consider the title of returnees, and then look at domestic talents above the master's level.

You said: "I have experience, and gold shines everywhere." But why do you think that people with high education have no experience?How do you know about other people's management? People who graduated from high school fully understand it?

Yes, you can start a business without a degree.But starting a business like opening a barber shop is different from starting an Internet company.

Of course, there is no distinction between high and low occupations, but who doesn't want to live a taller life?Who wants to go to the market to get up early and return late to sell pork if the order can be completed by sitting in the office and typing on the computer?
You said, you don’t need to be so utilitarian in life, you just want to be like Tao Yuanming and don’t care about world affairs. After all, no matter whether you are successful or famous, you are still in rags.

So, do you have the talent of Tao Yuanming?He can recite poems and make love, what can you do?Drop out of school and go to the assembly line in the workshop to be a worker looking at the machine?

4.Hope you will have the right to choose in the future, instead of being forced to make a living

Wilde said: "To deny or give up one's own experience is to prevent one's own development. To deny one's own experience is to lie to oneself. This is tantamount to denying the soul."

You have no reason to believe that the experience that has never come is bad. You can only speak if you have been in contact with it, experienced it, and truly recognized it.

The college entrance examination is an open competition. You can laugh at it and decide which city you will play for Glory of Kings, but you must know that it also determines the level of friends, enemies, and salary around you. Career choice, what kind of family cultivation creates the temperament of boyfriend and girlfriend.

University is not just a place to learn knowledge, it is more about practice and experience. Experience the pure love on campus, experience the library with all the books you want to read, experience the small microcosm of society in the ivory tower, and experience a society that can be transformed from The caterpillar metamorphoses into a butterfly itself.

When you are in a more famous and better university, your experience must be different, and the level of thinking you come into contact with is also different. This is the time you should use most effectively before you can become a better you. If you use it properly, it will Save your low self-esteem and prudence, increase your self-confidence and opportunities, and lead the height, breadth and breadth of your life.

Long Yingtai once wrote: My child, I ask you to study hard, not because I want you to compare your grades with others, but because I hope you will have the right to choose in the future, and choose a meaningful and time-consuming job instead of forced to earn a living.

It cannot be said that people without education are forced to make a living, but those with better education will definitely have more and better choices.

Do you think life will be difficult if you work overtime and lose your love?The difficulty is still behind
1.real life crisis
Recently, it can be regarded as seeing the anxiety of some high-level people.

A good company went bankrupt, with foreign debts and wage arrears, and none of the money holes could be filled. Tossing and turning between the road at two o'clock in the morning and the empty office, there was a despair that I couldn't empathize with.

The time of occupying a high position is gone forever, the power is gone, the benefits are gone, a person who has wandered between various occasions, you let him put down his body to interview, apply for a job, and get a cheap salary. Whether it is high or low, he would rather be decadent at home, would rather struggle to the death, would rather recall the past scenery, than take a step that hurts his self-esteem. He is used to the life of a master, and he cannot return to being a commoner.

Not everyone can become Mi Meng, the company goes bankrupt, turns around and becomes popular in the self-media; not everyone can become Chu Shijian, who can make a comeback at the age of 70, and has experienced ups and downs in life, from the founder of the Hongta Empire to the ancient times He was imprisoned in that year, and now he is the Orange King of China.

A considerable number of people fell down in the only one confusion and failure in life.

This kind of failure may not be a serious event, and it may even be just a matter of age.

In your twenties, this kind of thing may come out in three to five months, but it happens after the age of 40, and the difficulty of re-preparation is far beyond your imagination.

I think this is the real crisis of life.When you know that running can be bright, you also deeply understand that if you can’t run, your body, your energy, your time, your family, and your savings can’t support you You are desperate.

The bankruptcy at this time may be the real bankruptcy.

2.The uncontrollable trivialities of life

I am a female friend who has been at odds with her mother-in-law for a long time because her mother-in-law gave birth to a second child.

Since the birth of her daughter, she has been indoctrinated with the idea of ​​"having another boy".Her mother-in-law is not a useless old lady, but she is uncompromising on the issue of the second child.

So my friend fell into this kind of predicament, not only had to face a mess in life, but also had to face the constant battle of wits and courage between the two of them. Quarrels became commonplace. The husband could tell right from wrong, but he still couldn’t stop the mother-in-law from taking over. .

This situation is beyond control, she doesn't know when it will explode, and she will be physically and mentally exhausted.

She couldn't just pull the divorce certificate and leave as soon as she was cruel, and she couldn't have nothing to do with her husband's mother. This was a family matter, and it was also a matter of principle.

She remembered that she used to go to war for her husband's ex-girlfriend, but now she couldn't even remember what her ex looked like.

She remembered that her husband refused to go out to buy food for her in the middle of the night. She lost her temper and fought coldly for many days, but now she understood it very clearly. If it was her, she would not want to go out in the middle of the night.

She thought of a lot, and found that the past was like a dream, she lived so stingy, now she even forgot the details of those past events, but shook her head secretly, those are nothing serious, the real troubles are in front of her.

What used to be was just a girl's hypocrisy, and she still had the strength to figure it out clearly and distinguish right from wrong. Now, with so many trivial things in life, she felt that she was about to become depressed.

3.The difficulty of being a parent
Chatting with several mothers and talking about their children's schooling situation, I found that everyone has some anxiety to varying degrees.

In the area where we live, there is a road across the road. The children in the community on the north side of the road are assigned to one of the best elementary schools in the district; the children in the community on the south side of the road can only be assigned to another school that is farther away and has no hardware or software. Good elementary school.

For this reason, several mothers said that their children's journey to school is long and they need to prepare in advance.

Some have already found a private school and don’t plan to get involved with the housing in the school district. Some bought a second-hand house in a community in Lubei that they didn’t like, and some rented a house in Lubei a year in advance. They usually don’t live , only for the convenience of school registration.

There are even some children who are assigned to schools that are far away. Parents successively rented out their own houses, and then rented other people’s houses near the school, just because it is convenient to go to school. It will take six years, maybe nine years.

It sounds like there are so many solutions on the way to school. However, if you are not the person involved, you cannot understand the anxiety of the person concerned.

Parents are thinking about their children's growth all the time. They must not only cultivate their children's comprehensive development, but also do their best to pave the way for their children every step of the way. Do you think it's easy?not easy.

4.There will be more difficult things on the road of life

How to choose in life depends on your personality.

Some people are obsessed with petty love and love. They broke up yesterday and self-mutilate today. When they lose a relationship, they feel that the whole world owes her. This is not wrong.

Some people complained about the poor system of the company after a few extra shifts. They didn’t have the courage to change jobs, and they were unwilling to stay.

Some people say that they want the years to be quiet at a young age. The quietness in her mouth is nothing more than sleeping until the sun is high, playing until late at night, having fun and spending money in time, which is not wrong.

But you have to know that no matter how magnificent your heart is, when you turn around, you still have to continue with the daily necessities of life. The path you chose when you were young is for the opportunity to make choices when you are older.Once you give up the choice and take the easiest path, you have to bear all kinds of situations that you may encounter in the rest of your life.

Such as school district housing, such as serious damage to the career, such as whether you can decide whether to have a second child, such as midlife crisis, such as cheating, such as the rebellion of children in adolescence.

Life is difficult. When you cry until you are spinning for an inconspicuous thing, you will not know that many years later, there will be something more desperate waiting for you.

In order to be able to reverse those hopeless situations, please study hard, plan hard, make progress, and work hard.

Who is not desperately making money while hypocritically yearning for the warmth of the world
1.He Lai capital lived a leisurely life when he was young
There was a period of time when I was busy, running around day and night, and neglected to call home. My father’s first reaction to this was: “Are you short of money?” , don't make yourself so tired."

I can't laugh or cry, in my dad's eyes, I'm used to being arrogant and pampered, I can't bear hardships, I can't lower my head, like a proud hedgehog walking in the rivers and lakes, it's easy to prick people and get hurt.

If I am busy, in his eyes, it means that I am tired and bitter.

So he explained to him in a righteous manner: "Don't treat me like a child. Adults have to do things. Otherwise, when you get older, how can you retire with peace of mind, play cards and walk the dog?"

I am only 30 years old, where can I have the capital to live a leisurely life?Make a fishing net while you are young, and then fish every day, worry every day, fulfill every day, day after day, year after year.

What's the use of you giving me a basket of fish?I guarded, waited, consumed, ate one today and one tomorrow, and then figured out how many left, how many more days I could eat.

I am 30 years old, and I have begun to take on the responsibilities of the family, the old and the young, and I dare not relax. Although making money makes me anxious, the process of hard work has increased my self-confidence, allowing me to see the world, all beings, and myself, and let me understand The meaning of walking the world.

However, it was only two days before I expressed my determination to be proactive. After staying up all night, I accompanied the children to English class, and I fell asleep in the waiting room where the parents were waiting...

You know, the few mothers we have good friends with usually accompany us in class, they are all chatting, and the two hours are almost non-stop hahaha, and it quickly passed.Because the relationship is good, we can talk about everything, work, career, marriage, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, men and women in the world, visible hard work, invisible sadness, we are our own, and we can speak freely.

Sudden grievances caused by overwork, I complained to them, my mother quit, I want to officially join the ranks of your recuperation, take care of children, raise flowers, keep fit, dance, whoever loves to work hard, who is willing to make progress Whoever makes progress, I am ready to eat and die.

As soon as I finished speaking, dozens of messages popped up from the girlfriends group, and everyone began to discuss how to start a business, how to study, which course to enroll in, which foreign language to master... I can't help feeling that this self-motivated and lazy mind is like riding a roller coaster. Man cannot be at peace.

2.There is no real peace in the adult world
I just met a young friend who heard that I was writing an article and took the initiative to chat. The beginning was: You should have research on psychology, right?I am very unhappy. I am not happy with the new Land Rover, and I am still unhappy after changing the house. I feel foggy in my heart, and I am so confused.

The rich second generation who drove Land Rover were confused?Is there anything so exciting?Still let people live?At that time, I backhanded... I gave him a thumbs up, which means that the friend who opened the Land Rover is committed!Then I closed the door and asked myself heartbrokenly: When people are unhappy, they change cars to buy a house. What about you, if you are unhappy, you can only change to a shared bicycle and ride to the vegetable market to buy vegetables. Why are you so pretentious?
He said that when he was very tired, he longed to get married as soon as possible. At least he would have a wife and children on the kang. It's not the empty and cold office in the middle of the night and the delivery guy who meets twice a day.

Facts have proved that I am not hypocritical, but he is hypocritical. One side just said that I was exhausted and hoped that someone would understand and someone hurts, and another side contacted customers for dinner, drinking and singing, and changed plans to sign contracts.

This is the world of adults, where is there any real peace?

When you are anxious, go clubbing, drinking and exercising as you please, the important thing is to release the inner devil.When you are depressed, of course you have to sit in the car for a while and smoke a cigarette before going upstairs. No matter how close someone is, you can't empathize with your inner turmoil.When I was in despair, in the entanglement between taking two sleeping pills or one bottle, I chose the former, which still gave me a chance to be reborn.This is not a bad thing, and there is no need to be confined to it on the outline and online. After crying bitterly, pat the dust on your body, cheer up your tired spirit, pour chicken blood and chicken soup, and tell yourself to be strong.

Our default rules of the game are: we must work unswervingly in the general direction, and we can occasionally deviate from the ideological details. As long as the principles do not violate the rules, everything is on the right track.

3.No one lives smoothly, only stumbling growth

We have too many longings.

On a busy and tiring working day, I look forward to the "Green Ant New Brewed Wine, Red Clay Small Stove" during the vacation.

At the moment of struggling and struggling alone, I long for the fulfillment of having the shoulders of my beloved to rely on.

At the moment of career setback, unemployment and bankruptcy, I hope that the pie will fall from the sky and buy lottery tickets to win the jackpot, so as to save the career crisis.

We also have pursuits that we do not want to give up.

Be sure to move to a bigger house before the kids go to school.

Be sure to have enough savings before your parents get old.

Be sure to get promotion and salary increase within three years, and start your own business within five years.

Be sure to go to several countries to see how big the world is.

All things are precious only when they are scarce, and so is life.Because of the lack of love, a sense of security is what I want in my life.Because of poverty, being rich is a dream.

The warmth of this world has always been hard-won in the choice. No one has a stable life, and no one can maintain long-term peace, only stumbling growth.

If you are destined to go through both trials and hardships, then tell yourself that working hard is to live better, and occasionally despair is to balance yourself, and it is a normal world to have bitterness and sweetness.

Forgive me for being full of hope and full of disappointment, for being depressed and high-spirited.

There is a kind of ability called harmony to make money

1.Tried several times to break the embarrassing chauffeur
Once when I went out to do errands, I took a special taxi downstairs.The temperature dropped that day, and I was shivering in the long down jacket that wrapped around my ankles.

After waiting for about 2 minutes, the driver finally arrived. Before I turned around from the cold, I just rubbed my cheeks while thinking about what to do later, and asked the driver a series of kind questions. Just casually reply.

The driver seemed more talkative, and asked me if it was too cold?
In a moment, I will say that this point is catching up with the morning rush hour. Please don't mind the bad road conditions.

After a while, he said that there was water in the back seat, and he would drink some when he was thirsty.

I only replied a few words without a word.

When the destination was approaching, the master was silent for a while, and asked me: "It's such a cold day, I was late picking you up just now, I'm really sorry, the traffic is a bit congested, please understand, please give A five-star review."

I was a little surprised, and suddenly remembered that every time the driver tried to chat with me along the way, he was trying to break the embarrassment. He thought I had a problem because I was late, but he didn't know that I was actually thinking about my own affairs.

So he hurriedly replied: "Thank you, sure."

I don't have the habit of giving people bad reviews, and I get five stars every time, but what I didn't expect was that the chauffeurs who drive hundreds of thousands of cars care so much about this five-star review.

After thinking about it again, people are looking for a job in their position. Whether the other party is a professional driver or taking orders as a hobby, you should take it seriously. If you have negligence, you should say a few more good words and do a few more words. Explain, and the misunderstanding may be eliminated.

But many people don't understand the simple truth of making money with harmony.

2.Closed Hunan Restaurant

There is a restaurant nearby. I have eaten there a few times. The Hunan cuisine is relatively authentic, and the color and taste are excellent. It can be seen that the chef is really capable and puts effort into the presentation.

Although they occupy a good location, their business has not been very good. Every meal, there are only a few scattered tables.

So every time I pass by, through the transparent floor-to-ceiling glass, I can always see the boss sitting at the table in the hall drinking tea with a cold face.The cashier is also always sullen, either looking down to play with the mobile phone, or looking up to watch TV, always feeling that their family members can't laugh.

Later, during a meal, I saw a big fight between the waiter and the customer. The reason was that there were three people in the party. I wondered if there were not enough people in the restaurant, so I had to sit at a table for six people. Yes, there is no need to discuss.

So the guest left angrily, and said contemptuously before leaving: What age is it, and there are people like you who don't know how to adapt.

In fact, according to the flow of people in this restaurant, it is impossible for the seats to be full, and the waiters can accommodate it a little bit.

Moreover, this is not the first time that this store does not know how to be flexible. I have seen cashiers arguing with customers before, and their attitude is tough and they will not give in at all.

The desertedness of a restaurant is, in the final analysis, due to poor management. It is true that a waiter cannot be the owner of the restaurant. From this we can see that the boss's management philosophy is probably the same.

If you really want to refine this concept, it is that the managers do not know how to make money with harmony, treat people too bluntly, are blindly conservative, and will not be flexible.

Sure enough, not long after, the store closed down and was replaced by a new hot pot restaurant.

3.The Two Principles of Generating Wealth from Harmony
In the final analysis, the principle of harmony and prosperity is to be good at communication.If a person wants to accomplish something, he must understand, be good at and communicate effectively.

Sometimes highlighting your personality and retaining edges and corners is self-destructive. I am not teaching you to be submissive in front of interests. I just want to say that you must know what your purpose is.

Many people think that at any time, people should please themselves first, they should be self-willed, do what they like, and cannot be assimilated by society, and cannot be led by the nose by others.

But the workplace is different. If you want to get something, you must first put in some energy.

If you want performance, you should change from passive to active, and seek benevolence and benevolence.

You ask for money, correct communication will not only bring benefits, but also eliminate misunderstandings, and bring mutual sympathy and sincere cooperation.

If you are looking for promotion, effective communication is also the touchstone. At the company management level, emotional intelligence is particularly important.

Don't easily put people on the opposite side, and you shouldn't set up so many imaginary enemies. In everything, you should first seek a way to reconcile, understand tolerance and sharing, and only then can you go long-term.

Another layer of truth of harmony and wealth is the butterfly effect.The message that your kindness conveys to the other party is actually your open-mindedness, sincerity, transparency and atmosphere, which increases mutual trust.

So far, I haven't heard of any successful boss who expanded his business territory with unchanging rules, and the rules vary from person to person.Harmony is the most basic quality that a person should have. It is natural that quality brings cooperation and cooperation brings benefits.

4.Impulse is the devil, be more rational and restrained

There is a salesman in a friend's company. Seeing that the end of the year is approaching, the sales task has not been completed, and the task amount cannot be completed, which means that the salesperson will not get the commission or bonus.

Fortunately, there are still customers who come to him for inquiries, and finally there is an intention to place an order. The salesman is overjoyed, thinking that the commission and bonus at the end of the year can be considered settled.

Unexpectedly, because the customer questioned a few words about the higher quotation he gave, he became dissatisfied, and his attitude became more and more perfunctory, and finally he quarreled with the customer. ?
So the client left angrily, and the contract was naturally not signed. His commission and bonus were like riding a roller coaster. He thought he was close, but because of a quarrel, he suddenly went far away.

How hard can it be to control your emotions?How difficult can it be to communicate well?As an ordinary working class, what reason is there to struggle with money?Why don't you want to bet on the rent and the balance in the bank card before you get angry?
Many people are too pessimistic in interpersonal relationships, and it is too easy to put opponents or even partners in a hostile position, so that they think that the words and deeds of the other party are irony, use, deception, and fooling themselves... In short, think about which side is bad, Then there is a psychological resistance, and then it is logical to get emotional, and finally break up, which hurts others and does not benefit oneself.

In fact, over work and in business, impulsiveness is the most useless thing. No matter whether you have the ability to stand alone or not, you should learn to be humble and learn to be kind to others. This is respect for competitors, partners, and customers. Respect is also respect for oneself.

Li Ka-shing, the richest man in Hong Kong, once said: "Instead of cleaning up the mess in the end, or even making a loss-making business, it is better to be rational and restrained at the time."

So, impulsiveness is the devil, life is in the world, only when it is convenient for others will you be convenient for yourself. If you don’t embarrass others, you don’t embarrass yourself. For the workplace and career, harmony can make money.

3 minutes of heat is not enough for anything
1.The smallest card has the ability not to be underestimated

When "Passing Through Your World" was about to be taken off the shelves, my best friend and I just watched the finale.

In the few years since Xiao Rong left, Chen Mo has degenerated from an ace DJ to a bearded uncle. He can lie down under the desk and fall asleep at any time, holding instant noodles and wearing a headset, and interacting with the audience without distraction. , also maintained the unmatched result of the lowest audience rating.

His cynicism is like a gust of wind, which can be called a smooth journey by others, but he wants to go against the wind.Children who don't grow up will use their strength to attract the attention of others, thinking that this is the whole life.

Until Yaoji appeared.

She swears in front of all the audience, and the ratings soared to No.2 overnight. She said to Chen Mo: "They scold you for not doing it."

Chen Mo is her belief.

When she was alone in the rain with an umbrella and couldn't see the way, Chen Mo said there was a place called Daocheng.She came to Chen Mo's side with all her strength, and the interviewer asked her: "Why do you want to work in the radio station?" Yaoji said: "I want to be closer to him."

Many years ago, he warmed her who was lonely, and many years later, she saved him who was decadent.

I don't know if you have ever persisted, whether it is for a person or a belief, when others attack you with this, when others dismiss you, you still persist without hesitation, like a chicken, Weak as himself, but can be strong because of a certain force that has supported him.

Even the smallest cards have the ability not to be taken lightly.

2.not willing to do our best

The day I watched the movie was the second week of my girlfriend's employment.

My girlfriend is engaged in business management. Before this, she was undecided between two offers, one was a local state-owned enterprise, the other was a central enterprise;

And the HRs of both companies are very satisfied with her and told her that she can join the job at any time.

She chose the latter.

She said that the latter job content was more in line with her expectations.

Go ahead to dangers.

Not forgetting the original intention is extremely fragile in the face of position, interests, and power. I admire her for being a man.

However, men also sometimes look away.

In her first week of employment, she almost thought of quitting.

For some unknown reason, the current director made things difficult for him in every possible way, confronted him everywhere, and showed no signs of embarrassment. Finally, he gave her a copy of the blueprint and asked her to complete the design of the plan within five working days.

It's not your job, but I want to do it for you. It's a mule or a horse, and you have to take a walk to find out.

Squeezing right is not the goal, the purpose is to squeeze you right.

If it were me, I would be arrogant and determined to drop the materials.

My girlfriend is not me, she is a man.

It took my best friend a weekend to transform from a layman who didn't know anything about design to an insider who fully grasped the basic use of AI and handed over the perfect plan two days ahead of the director's time limit.

The director's expression ranged from disdain to disbelief, to unbelievable praise, and finally, he said with a big smile that almost reached the ears: "I always hope that the people in our department can have your courage and help each other. , look, you are even competent for the job of your immediate boss, and you do such a good job, it really makes me proud."

Well, of course, as a courtier, sharing your worries for the king is the only rule in the workplace.

I'm just so proud of having such a girlfriend.

She said that it sounds easy, but the process is actually quite torturous. She only sleeps four or five hours a day, and spends all her energy on this plan. And love, maybe she has already left her pick and left.

To put it bluntly, I am unwilling, unwilling to do my best in the field that I have been engaged in for many years.

3.If our love is only 3 minutes hot
If our love is only 3 minutes hot, we will not be able to complete the test of faith. When confusion comes, the first thing is often to run away.

I used to be keen on running. Before climbing Mount Tai, in order to exercise the endurance of my legs, I got up every morning and ran in the community, on the path next to the green belt, and on the wooden plank road, thinking that I formed a habit.

Unexpectedly, when I returned from climbing Mount Tai, my morning run was forgotten. Although running has many benefits, it did not enter my life, let alone my faith.

I used to like billiards, and my skills that couldn't be played on the table were taught by Mr. Qin. When I first met Jun, I had to find something in common. In this way, there is a reason for the two sides to communicate.

Hands-on, body-to-body teaching of billiards is the best.

The king's heart is like mine. After a long period of love, let alone go to the billiard hall, we rarely even mention billiards.

I used to be in the workplace, longing to be a female boss, open a store, create a kind of sentiment, take pleasure in this, and spend my life in peace.

So I went ahead and did it vigorously, making light boxes, installing door openings, getting raw materials, and finished products. When I bought the goods, I sold them quickly. If I couldn't sell them all, I got angry.

I am obsessed with counting money before going to bed every day, do the things of the day, and have new money to earn tomorrow. Confusion and anxiety come at the same time. My great youth will be buried in this store. I can’t go shopping, karaoke, travel, yoga and drink Afternoon tea, I can't go to Gu's family to cook and make some small sentiments to post on Moments.God, please don't bind me, I want to live a free life.

Well, close down.

I used to love the kitchen. After I successfully baked a piece of chiffon cake, I studied the road of culinary art, and it was out of control. Hunan cuisine, Shandong cuisine, Sichuan cuisine, the dishes come from my heart, Chinese and Western homemade styles, with unique feelings.

Every day, I can receive express delivery from different cities, not tableware molds, but various raw materials. Once I entered the baking, it was as deep as the sea. Since then, "Grandpa Mao" has been a passerby, Mr. Junzhi has become my idol, and the oven has become my good friend. Companion, all the judges in the circle of friends have sent congratulatory messages, hoping to taste it, and gave the most sincere praise.

People who like the new and dislike the old have no future.

The official account "Cassie Girl" appeared in my busy schedule, and since then I have found a new way, writing articles, reading and chatting about life in my spare time, kitchen supplies are left in the dark, and it is easy to see the light of day.

Confusion is not something you want to solve, it can be solved.

Am I doomed to accomplish nothing in this life?Destined to be a bear breaking corn, breaking one and throwing one away?
If you can't settle down to complete one thing, if you can't stick to it for 3 minutes, all actions are just passing clouds, and will not enter your life, nor will it change your life.

4.Love is motivation, persistence is ability
In "Amazing Children", every child makes me amazed.

Fancy billiards masters, poker lore masters, slingshot masters who aim and hit where they want, math geniuses... every minute, I was turned into a scumbag in front of the TV.

I remembered when I was a child, running around the river with bare feet, catching a cicada, thinking that I had captured the whole summer; picking a big lotus leaf, thinking that I had obtained the whole world, being silly and naive.

Some people say that children need to reduce their burden, and they don’t want their children to lose their happy childhood. However, if education is entertaining, if talent dictates it, and if habit becomes an advantage, it is definitely a good thing.

Every outstanding child either has an unparalleled love for his own excellence, or has been instilled with excellent habits.

The same goes for adults.

I am 29 years old, and I finally understand the meaning of love and perseverance.

Life is not a TV series, and it is not living by a bloody script. Life is supported by bits and pieces of hope.

For example, you get a good grade in the exam, the dishes you cook are the taste you imagined, the girl you like asks to sing a love song with you, you take your parents on a trip with part-time money, the male god you have a crush on for a long time holds your hand, and you start from an ordinary employee. Promoted to an office supervisor, doubled his salary, married the person he loves, and got excellent returns from starting a business...

It's also possible that if you win 1000 million in the lottery, who can say for sure?Heaven will send windfall wealth to people, there must be intentions, maybe it is the blessings from the previous life, maybe it is fate... Forget it, I can't make it up...

If life is getting darker day by day, people will also wither.

If life is brighter every day, the world will be different.

If you don't accumulate bit by bit of hope, you won't be able to reach the basic level of happiness, and if you don't make bit by bit changes, you won't have this bit of hope.

Many things require love as support and accumulation as capital.

"If you don't accumulate steps, you can reach a thousand miles", this sentence has been read from middle school to now, some people have achieved it, and some people have not.

Meet the founder of a woodworking workshop who once built the most beautiful wooden plank road for the city and later built the largest woodworking workshop in the country.I went to visit his workshop, and he introduced each handmade product to me with a dazzling light in his eyes.

Love is motivation, persistence is ability.

Whether it is a hobby or a job, the support of motivation and ability is enough to make a person successful.

If my beliefs were not strong enough before, then in the next few years, I will exercise this ability. I don’t want to let weakness and impetuousness occupy the gaps in my life. They will expand. will change.

I want to practice gentleness, peace, and calmness, and I want to be persistent in love and persistence. I must start from this moment, let go of the superficial "change of heart", and not be easily confused by the appearance of things, but devote myself to seeing through the essence, strengthening my heart, and letting go. I am enriching myself.

Only when the heart is full can one have the capital to speak extraordinary.

Only when you are full of love for life, can the sunshine fill the room.

Only by letting go of the heat for only 3 minutes, and supplemented by firmness, hope, courage, confidence, and beauty that will not be shaken by anyone, can you get what you want, and it will happen naturally.

Just 3 minutes of heat isn't enough for anything.If you want more, put in enough time and effort.The reason why I can't do it is because I don't love enough, I don't persist enough, and I don't have enough motivation. What's more, there are too many temptations, "changing my mind", letting go halfway, and the grades are of course unqualified.

If you want to change, start by not "changing your mind" easily.

Life not only needs to be able to do subtraction, but also to be able to do addition
I often see articles about "breaking away", and I do the same thing myself, such as throwing away inappropriate clothes, reducing unnecessary social interactions, cutting off false friendships, and letting go of inner attachments.

But people don't live by generalizations. As they grow older, they become more and more aware that while breaking away from bad habits and bad emotional relationships, they must improve themselves in other aspects at the same time, otherwise, You're just throwing and throwing and throwing and throwing, and it doesn't really help your life plan.

These things that need to be improved should be done sooner rather than later.

1.cooking

In fact, cooking skills are not necessary. The reason why I wrote it first is because it is related to our body.

Of course, if you have the conditions to hire a nanny cook, or have a lover who is good at cooking and taking care of your appetite, that is great, but if you have and can only rely on yourself, then study some cooking skills and raise your own Appetite is a business.

We all know that the food in the restaurant is delicious, mostly because of its heavy taste, such as spicy enough, numb enough, salty enough, because it is added too much seasoning by the chef, such as soy sauce with sodium glutamate, which has a special taste delicious.Just talking about the concept of monosodium glutamate is rather vague, but talking about monosodium glutamate is clear. The main component of monosodium glutamate is monosodium glutamate. It is not good to eat too much. Sodium glutamate has no effect on the human body under normal circumstances. Not necessarily, cooking is generally high heat.

Most of these seasonings are not beneficial to the body, and restaurant dishes pay more attention to taste, so there is no way to guarantee nutrition. Therefore, even if you want to improve your appetite, it is best not to eat it often.

And the oil used outside is not necessarily a good oil.I have done catering and know that there are several grades of waste oil (one of the reasons I closed my business was that I didn’t use waste oil, but the cost of good oil is too high), you really don’t have to think that the oil you eat in restaurants is Good oil, it might just be high-grade waste oil.

You don’t need to worry about cooking by yourself. You can choose good oil from big brands, or you can make a reasonable nutritional mix according to your own body needs. Eat less meat and oil, eat more light, and eat more vegetables, which is good for clearing the intestines and stomach Very helpful.

Going downstairs to the company to buy pancakes for breakfast is far less healthy than making soy milk and toasting bread at home.

2.fitness

There are actually many benefits of fitness. Exercising more is good for health, improves immunity, helps to maintain body shape, waistline, abdominal muscles, lordosis and back warping, and helps to lose weight, reduce fat and reduce puffiness.

Don't always feel that you are still young. Exercise prolongs your youth and delays your aging. It takes a long time and a process, and it is not an immediate thing. Base.

Time is really a watershed. After the age of 30, no matter men or women, once they gain weight, it is difficult to lose weight.What's more, as you get older, if you lack exercise, your body's immunity will decline. In the past, you could drink hot water for a cold, but now it doesn't work. You have to take a bottle to get better. This is what age brings Differences, you don't even want to admit it.

A while ago, when Jiang Xin's beautiful photos came out, netizens were shouting how beautiful she is when she loses weight, and they all said that celebrities are all fat for fun, but she has always been fat seriously.In fact, the reason why celebrities can lose weight in a short period of time, there must be hardships that you don’t know about, such as dieting, such as high-intensity exercise, many of which you cannot do. If you can do it, then you can also lose weight Seriously.

3.read

There is a golden house in the book, and there is a poetic spirit in the belly. The concept of reading is really a cliché.

A reader asked me, what kind of book is a good book, is it a masterpiece at home and abroad?No, a good book is one that you like, understandable, and rewarding.A colleague of mine saw me reading "Sophie's World", and he also took it to read, but he couldn't read it after a few pages, and returned it, but he was fascinated by Jin Yong and Gu Long, and he remembered many details Clearly, I sigh to myself.

Everyone has different interests and hobbies, and the fun of reading cannot be in the same book. Some people like to read "How the Steel Was Tempered", some people like "White Deer Plain", some people love Chekhov, and some people read Eileen Chang , Some only recognize the literary works of deceased writers, and some pay more attention to the rising writers or authors of the younger generation.

But there is one thing, I suggest that there should be fewer online novels and more works by everyone, which is always good.

After reading a lot, you can naturally tell which ones are really good and which ones are mediocre.

4.clothing taste
Just now we talked about breaking away, when you throw away clothes, besides the spacious cabinet, do you feel relaxed and have other gains?

I have always believed that many things in life have a balancing effect. What you lose in one place will be gained in another.If you don't realize that you are different from before when you are throwing and throwing, then you are throwing for nothing.

Clothes in the past are not only outdated, but also may have inappropriate color matching. They may be suitable for 20 years old, but not 25 years old, and the fabric may look cheap at first glance, and the clothes will not look good...

Lu Xun said that there is no road in the world, only when there are many people walking.The same is true for dressing, buy a lot, wear a lot, research a lot, you can naturally find a style of clothing that suits you.It is not necessarily armed with big names, but it is necessary to show your own sense of fashion and neatness.

It is true that clothes are the same as cosmetics, big brands are better to use, but if your financial conditions are not enough, then you have to make a compromise and choose some brands within the financial conditions, clothes, styles, and colors that you can control.

My own mental journey in the past ten years is like this: from a preference for gray and dark colors, to a preference for bright bright colors, now I prefer the timeless classic collocation of black, white and red.

Clothing is a person's appearance experience. Taste and texture will give you extra points, and you can easily win the favor of others. Besides, you are also comfortable.

5.professional skill

Many friends around me have started businesses, but for some people, they don’t even have a clear idea of ​​their career planning, and they don’t know where to start their own business.

A reader said that she was in her senior year and studied accounting, but she didn't like accounting. She felt that the competition was too fierce and everyone could do accounting, so she was very depressed.

A reader said that he likes to eat sushi, so he joined a brand sushi restaurant and opened it in a university town. The price is reasonable and the taste is pure. After learning the taste of sushi, he also registered his own sushi brand, and opened two more in the downtown area.

Speaking of this, readers who are accountants should know that there is no shortage of talents in society, what is lacking is professional talents.

Even though most industries are close to saturation, there are still many people who have made their way to the top and become the best. Without professional skills, all of this is impossible to talk about.

Another point I would like to say is that when you are trying to move upward, you really don’t need to worry about the so-called "no matter how difficult it is to get a son from a poor family", "the solidification of the class has been completed", "the carp can no longer jump out of the dragon's gate"... If you At present, you can’t reach the level of the middle class. This is not a problem you should consider at all. Many people can’t even come close to the well-off level, so let’s not talk about crossing the class.Not to hit, but to say, you should be more pragmatic and walk unassumingly in your own field.

Some people say that slash youths have been advocating in recent years, but slash youths do not mean that every slash in the slash youth is professional.

When your professional skills improve, it means that you already have the ability, and you will not starve to death anywhere. At this time, you can change jobs and start a business.When you steadily improve your living standard, social circle and personal connections step by step, you have the capital to consider which class you belong to and which class you can reach.

6.self-control

The ability to self-control is very broad, what I want to say is to control emotions.

My mother often advises me that it is best for a person to lose his temper as he gets older.

If a person grows older and has a stronger temper, it only means that he has not made progress, his life has not progressed, but his age is increasing, which makes him feel that he is incompetent, and this incompetence is not easy to cure, so he has to find many excuses to cover up , So there is a violent temper.

Rather, I think it was his inability to control his temper that caused him to be unsuccessful, which in turn made his temper worse.

In the final analysis, this society is not personal, it needs interpersonal relationships, it needs human beliefs, we can't just rely on our own willfulness, we will comprehensively judge and weigh the pros and cons of things.

Many people just watch too many romance novels and idol TV dramas, thinking that if a girl talks back, the hero will think she is different; Say you have a low EQ.

Loyalty is good for deeds, but good advice is not so accurate. If a matter is resolved in a way that is acceptable to both parties, it is of course better than a conflict resolution.This is a humane society, exposing one's low EQ and low IQ is really not worth the slightest bit.

Improving the ability to control one's emotions, in fact, is to improve one's tolerance and elegance, and put oneself in a relatively gentle circle, and the mood will improve. If you don't believe me, try it.

Having said so much, in fact, the combination is the details of our daily life. Everyone has different life experiences and needs are different, but the same thing is that we are all thinking about living a better life with greater ability this life.

On 10086 Ways of Effective Communication

1.Work: Properly show weakness, empathy

Last year, my colleagues in the branch and I made friends with each other. Based on the principle of not being familiar with each other, the two of us really put on a show to see who was more cold.

At first our chat went like this:
He: The ×× activity needs to come up with a plan.

Me: Okay.

He: The ×× brand wants to make a micro-movie, and needs you to write a script.

Me: Okay.

Me: This is the press release, please read it.

Him: OK.

Other than that, there is no communication.Until yesterday, Party A said that the protagonist in their microfilm was a young man in his twenties with a car and a house, and the character we discussed in the meeting was a young girl who had just graduated and was going to take the bus.

Let's change it, it doesn't take much effort, I still feel uncomfortable in my heart, isn't this a waste of each other's time?It's obviously something that can be mentioned casually, why didn't you say it earlier?
The branch office colleague said to me that he was very embarrassed because he didn't make it clear; so I also felt embarrassed, saying that I didn't ask clearly, and the two of them showed weakness to each other, and they immediately looked like old friends who had known each other for more than ten years. When chatting, there is no more politeness and official language before.

So when there are event parties who want to communicate with each other, we will always ask where we don’t understand, and we must finalize the details. In this way, the manuscripts, plans and details required for subsequent events are basically approved in one draft.

It really saves a lot of time and improves work efficiency, at least there is no need to make repeated revisions.

It is more important to figure out before doing something than to modify it after doing it.

So when connecting at work, you have to figure out what you want to know.

Before doing something, you first want to understand the background, development direction, results, and even the purpose of this thing.

Then you can completely use the method of [-] whys to ask the other party, and you must get the information you want to extract from it, and only by asking purposefully can you get effective information.

The problem we often encounter is how to do what Party A wants us to do, and then how to do it ourselves. In the end, Party A says that the plan is well done, well organized, and well analyzed, but this is not what we want.

Only caring about your own feelings and ignoring the needs of the other party is a kind of affirmation of yourself, but it is useless. You are immersed in the sense of accomplishment of self-identity and cannot extricate yourself. Customers are dissatisfied and say no to this solution , May I ask what is the use of what you made?

So you have to be patient and listen to what the other party's real needs are.After all, people are the ones who pay the money, and the things you make must meet their appetites, and that is a good thing.

To be honest, it is extremely self-respecting for your plan to be rejected by the client. When the other party says that you need to change something, you will not be angry.

But is losing your temper useful?What you wrote is indeed not what people want, so you have to change it.

We recognize it well, but we don't applaud it, because everyone thinks they are the same as Obama, but there is only one Obama in the world.

So getting angry is useless, it will only make the relationship between the two of them more rigid.

Suppress your emotions, and make serious changes if you should change them; if you really think it is good, explain the reason to the customer.If your reasons are convincing, the other party is basically willing to listen. After all, he asked you to do something because you are professional.

No matter how you treat any job, you must uphold an objective rather than subjective attitude. If you don’t take it for granted, it is the most time-saving way to think from the perspective of the other party.

2.Love: Are you my happiness?

Lily and her boyfriend always quarreled, and finally got discouraged and wanted to break up.

She asked me to complain, but she actually complained about her boyfriend: machismo, straight male cancer, not gentle or romantic, one-sided... In short, there is no advantage.

I drank coffee and listened to her talking, without saying a word, she finally became anxious and asked me: "Are you still a good sister, is it appropriate to just watch the fire from the other side?"

I sighed and said, "Since you don't really want to break up, why can't you lower your figure and learn to communicate?"

Seeing that her temper was about to come up, I stopped drinking coffee and hurriedly explained.

In fact, in my opinion, the two of them obviously love each other deeply, and the quarrel is nothing more than a little more serious, exaggerated, and excessive than ordinary small quarrels between lovers.

But essentially, it's still the same.

The problem is not that her boyfriend has too many shortcomings, nor that she is too strong, but because the two of them don't know how to communicate.

The main reason for the conflict between lovers is too emotional.

Girls’ way of thinking is: I’m jealous because I love you, you don’t block other women in the address book because you don’t care about me; I scold your shortcomings because I love you, it’s wrong to quarrel with me if you don’t change; I’m angry It's because I love you, the girl who doesn't get angry is because she doesn't love you, if you don't know the difference, you are stupid...

So when communicating with girls, you must not be reasonable.

First of all, you have to find out why she is angry. If you really can't guess, you can ask directly. Many boys only feel irritable at the end of the quarrel, but they don't know why their girlfriend broke out.

Secondly, you must have a good attitude. Apologize when you should, and you won't lose a piece of meat. It's better than losing your girlfriend.

It is best for a man not to quarrel with his girlfriend, because it is very easy to lose the trust of his girlfriend. Once you quarrel, you will be a man who cares about every detail in her eyes. You are not generous or tolerant, and your charm value plummets. Of course, the most important thing is you I can't beat her either.

Also, during a quarrel, it is most taboo for a man to leave the pick and leave.

Girls like to solve conflicts rather than leave historical issues behind. An attitude of indifference is tantamount to cold violence and hurts others. The signal sent to girls is: You don't love me at all, otherwise just leave?

Men's way of thinking is: Why are you angry again?Why are you making trouble so unreasonably?Why are you acting like a shrew?Why do you see nothing pleasing to the eye?What's wrong with me lying down for a while?What happened to my game...

So communicating with a man, yelling will never solve the problem, because you roar and cry until the sky falls apart, maybe he doesn't know what happened.

A man is essentially a child, you have to speak up if you have something to say.

Change "I don't support the oil bottle when it's upside down, I'm too lazy" to "Honey, you help the oil bottle up, and I'll make you delicious braised prawns at night."

Change "You know how to play games all day long, you're useless and useless" to "Wow, my boyfriend is an expert at playing games, and I guess he's also good at work, and he's expected to be a vice president within three years ah".

Change "I've said so much, you don't know why I'm crying, do you have any brains?" to "I'm crying because you haven't played with me for a long time, if you think I'm important, arrange a trip Bar."

In short, the attitude towards girlfriends: change ignorance into doting.Attitude to Boyfriend: Change contempt into admiration.

The long-term love between two people depends not only on love, but also on getting along. Ask yourself, do you really love each other?Is he (she) your happiness?If the answer is yes, then learn to communicate, life is short, there is no need to waste it in disappointment again and again.

3.Marriage chapter: Turn chicken feathers into warm years

The relationship between men and women is mostly similar in marriage, but marriage is different from pure love. The relationship in marriage is more complicated and the emotions are more diverse.

Take Ma Baonan as an example.

This kind of man has caused many families misery. If you meet them unfortunately, it is a wise choice to live separately from your parents-in-law.

And, don't obviously instill in him the idea of ​​"you are Ma Baonan", but hint him in daily getting along: Wow, so you are so assertive; my baby and I will depend on you in the future; I am really happy to take care of our little family...

In short, it is to tell him that you and the child are dependent on him, and his mother should be dependent on his father. It is better to have more pillow talk than to quarrel.

This kind of man is usually very lazy, lazy in body and mind, unwilling to work, unwilling to work, and unwilling to use his brain, because his mother has arranged everything for him, and he only needs to do it, which is very trouble-free.

Therefore, the most important part of transforming Ma Baonan is: don't encourage his laziness.

The husband of a friend of mine is a typical Ma Baonan. She gets angry every time and complains to me. I said that I have seen you when you first got married. In fact, he can tell right from wrong better than today. Over the years, you fueled his arrogance.

The friend's mother, that is, the child's grandmother lives with them. Three meals a day are prepared by the child's grandmother on time.

The mother-in-law arranged everything in an orderly manner, and loved her son-in-law as if she were her own son. My friend's husband almost opened his mouth and stretched out his hands when he was eating, so much so that he spent a lot of time playing games on his mobile phone, watching TV, and forgetting that he should be there Duties in the family.

To a certain extent, this has contributed to the continuous rise of Ma Baonan's characteristics.

So you see, if you want to reform him, you have to let him do more housework and work, let him know that he is a part of the family; encourage him to go out and socialize more, gain more knowledge, and naturally become stronger and stronger. , there is no need to rely on his mother's thinking to rule his inner world.

For men, they themselves are victims of vicious marital relationships.

Some have no peace in the cracks between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, some marry dissatisfied and aggressive women, and are scolded all day long, and some become strict wives and have no right to speak, so they have to be unknown husbands...

When meeting this type of woman, the most important thing men should do is neither to be reasonable nor to seal it with kisses, but to be diligent and self-motivated, tell her that you have been working hard for this family, and let her There is hope.

In fact, I have always felt that in some marriage relationships, men’s actions are very stupid. Women are very emotional animals. If you coax her, comfort her, and pet her, she will treat you with all her heart.Men don't understand such a simple truth, so they want to quarrel, or just ignore it.

Of course, men still have to be strong in the end. You have to let your woman know that you are an excellent hunter, so that she is interested in spending a long life with you.

Generally speaking, the core knowledge of getting along in marriage is subtle.

Still the same sentence, in the relationship between the sexes, it is always better to blow the pillow than to quarrel.

Regardless of love, marriage, work, or chatting, it is all about getting along with people. It is just the difference between lovers, friends, colleagues, and customers, but one thing is the same, that is We need to communicate, and we need to find ways to solve the problems between people, instead of causing the contradictions to expand and the problems to be serious.

The ultimate core of interpersonal relationships is to communicate effectively, learn speaking skills and ways of thinking, and strive to resolve conflicts in a relatively perfect way.

Of course, all effective communication is based on your desire to retain or improve a certain relationship. For example, you want your family to be a warm haven, not a battlefield for husband and wife. Conspiracy calculations.

Otherwise, any communication is useless.

(End of this chapter)