The more self-discipline you have, the more freedom you have

Chapter 4 A person's upbringing is hidden in the details

We are not a circle of friends
1.It's not that I'm busy, it's that I don't want to talk to you
A friend complained that there was an activity that was very angry.

He and Party A's two responsible contacts are in the same group. One of them is an assistant and the other is an executive. Because the assistant can't take charge of many things, the friend had to be in the group @及友管理, trying to communicate and finalize the event detail.

But every time, the other party did not reply to the message, not once.

At first, the friend thought that the other party was too busy, so he didn't reply and didn't take it seriously, so he followed up with his assistant many times.

But it was later discovered that the executives of the other party did not reply to the message, but only did not reply to the friend's message.

When the boss of a friend is talking in the group, the executives of Party A are always online.

As long as you open your mouth to ask, the other party disappears immediately without replying a word.

After so many times, my friend finally understands that where others are busy, they are obviously unwilling to take care of themselves.

Well, different ranks do not conspire with each other, so whoever makes himself inferior.

Even so, I always feel that I don't feel good in my heart. Is there a difference between people?

From the perspective of human rights, all living beings are equal, but from the perspective of social circles, they are indeed divided.

This is the normal state of our existence. People who are not in the same circle do not even need to communicate.

2.Are you serving or golfing
When I was working in the golf field, some people said that this is a very good platform, which has a powerful boost to a person's future career.

The good in his eyes is the so-called abundant resources, extensive contacts, and a social circle full of nobles and celebrities.Listening to his speech is full of expectations, as if breaking the hierarchy is just around the corner, and the capital market share seems to be within reach.

Indeed, most of the players who play golf are rich people. Here you will see luxury that the salaried people can’t imagine. The business turnover of a company with a unit of [-] million yuan is just an ordinary business in their eyes; It’s just a matter of a check, and there are even direct cash transactions for the rich; spending hundreds of thousands to find a foreign golf coach for their children, or hiring a personal trainer for themselves, is just one of their many interests and thousands of entertainment lifestyles .

Moreover, you will also see their humility and courtesy, take the initiative to say hello and help press the elevator.

But in fact, after getting along for a long time, you will find that the way you get along with each other is only polite, thoughtful and polite. If you do things seriously, the other party will also sincerely thank you, but those unavoidable alienation and estrangement are obviously caused by unequal identities. of.

People are more valuable in having self-knowledge.

This is not just a question of the collision of three views and simple interpersonal relationships, but a question of class.

When you enter a circle, you first need to know where you are in it.

Are you going to serve these big customers, or discuss win-win cooperation with them.

The former is no different from any other unit and enterprise, taking the salary of others to do things for others, while the latter puts interests first and communicates with each other. The person who signed the agreement between the two parties may just be a pawn, and there is no need to involve the boss behind the transaction between the two parties.

These two types, relying on the excellence of the platform to achieve their own future and destiny, are not without, but relatively few. Like any outstanding person in any other industry, they must pay a lot of effort.

An excellent platform does not mean that you can get along like a fish in water, and the green light is always bright, so how can you gain the right to speak in the social circle?
There is only one sentence left and right: evenly matched.

In fact, you are serving the golf industry or playing golf.

People who serve this industry are no different from those in any other industry. It is an ordinary employment relationship. You work for him, and he pays you. Everyone comes out to do things. Whether you can get the favor of opportunity and fate depends on you. ability and good fortune.

But golfers are truly equal.

To put it bluntly, it is: People who are not of the same level cannot play together.This level is not only money, but also vision, level, resources and circle.

Golf is known as a gentleman's sport, but also a social sport.

Or, people who play golf do not use this as a ladder to try to open the door to other areas of cooperation, to be able to make friends with common interests, or to meet industry leaders to achieve cross-border cooperation, which is icing on the cake; if not, it will not affect their fun.

Or, it is a strong alliance between friends and partners in the circle, going straight to the golf course, playing 18 holes, you come and go, evenly matched, the business is negotiated, and mutual benefits arise.This kind of interaction is the real mutual integration, because they are at the same level, they are people in the circle of friends.

You can say that you don’t agree with this at all. You believe that there is no distinction between high and low among people, but on the actual promotion path, there is indeed a distinction between high and low, there are differences between rich and poor, and there are class settings.

This is not a problem of three views, nor a problem of simple interpersonal relationships, but that people of different classes cannot stand on an equal footing to talk.

An unequal relationship will make the person you want to date exclude you from the circle, and your efforts to please will only make the other person feel ugly and ugly, and thus despise you and belittle you even more.

3.When resources and status become more and more unequal

It is normal to have differences in status caused by different classes. People who are born with a golden spoon in their mouths naturally do not need to consider whether they are equal or not, but you have not been born on the same starting line since childhood, so you have to work hard to accept these injustices, not just In order to make money, but also to get equal opportunities for dialogue.

A senior who used to be very successful in the public relations circle.

In the first few years, he was like a handyman, performing various tasks, and all kinds of tedious docking, construction and procurement were all his jobs.At that time, he worked very hard, often traveling in various cities, and during the busiest time, he did not sleep for two days and two nights.

At that time, he was most familiar with some suppliers, construction workers, and bosses who wholesaled goods. He often drank at food stalls in the middle of the night and ate skewers.

Gradually, I made some progress in this industry, became a supervisor, had people under my command, and got more and more commissions.

Later, he took charge of his own affairs and gradually became the core figure of the company. Under the boss and over a hundred people, he no longer needs to go to some occasions in person. In a word, most of the employees are there to serve, and he doesn’t build workers with the previous suppliers. They have dinner together, but often follow the boss to meet the boss of Party A to discuss cooperation and overall event planning. As for the details, other people will do it.

Obviously, his way of speaking has also changed, sonorous and forceful, but with a little indifference and arrogance, not because he is vain, but because he is in a different position, the circle of friends has changed, and the people around him have also changed. As a result, his vision and pattern have also changed.

In the past, he was looking for food and clothing. Later, he gathered a lot of contacts and strived to stand out. Later, he understood the rules of the industry and hoped to start a business and become a boss, aiming to achieve class leapfrogging.

In the past two years, the self-media has developed rapidly, and many large-scale big Vs who have seized the trend have established their own companies, made a lot of money, and achieved financial freedom.

Many authors who used to get along with each other and have a good relationship have reshuffled and organized games because of this. Whether you admit it or not, playing with the author with a large number, and communicating with a strong editor with a strong editor is the most important thing. most common state.

Even if you had a good relationship with the million-dollar author in the past, when your strengths become more and more disparate, the communication between you will gradually become sparse and reduce, until there is almost no contact.

It's not that anyone is snobbish, but because the resources between you are becoming more and more unequal, the situations you are in are becoming more and more different, and the people and levels you have seen are also getting more and more disparate, so naturally there is no common topic anymore.

You see, ability is the key to open the upward channel, it determines where you can be, and the outlet becomes your opportunity, and provides you with a new platform, allowing you to reach a higher circle.

Once you step into a certain circle, the previous circle will be unfamiliar, because you and the past are already two life circles of friends.

I wish you enough capital and self-confidence, and the ability to step into the class you want to enter.

The life in your mouth is your future life

1.The power of self-suggestion
When I was in school, the father of a classmate fell ill. It was very serious. In the end, even the doctor declared that he was helpless.

The classmate is only in his teens, but he has to accept the fact that he will be separated from his father forever. He is crying, and no one can help him, because everyone has to face life, old age, sickness, death, bitterness, hatred and parting, but he realized it earlier. The road to walk is more difficult than others.

This made him desperate, but it also made him strong. Since then, he has been motivated to be a doctor, open a clinic by his relatives, and since he failed to keep his father, he will try his best to keep others loved ones.

In fact, his talent is not very high, and his academic performance is not particularly good, and his family has never had a doctor in several generations, but he is not reconciled. When he thinks of his father leaving in his prime, he It's very sad.

The idea of ​​becoming a doctor has supported him for many years, even in his dreams he was wearing a white coat and holding a scalpel.Emperor Tian paid off. He was admitted to a famous medical university. After graduation, he went to the county hospital and the city hospital for internship. Finally, he returned to his hometown, established his own clinic, and completed the initial setting of his dream.

For so many years, rather than saying that his unremitting efforts have made him, it is better to say that it is his belief that supports him and gives him strength.

He was obsessed with what he wanted to achieve, and he refused to give up what he had encouraged himself countless times, which made him the rest of his life.

How powerful are the words that come out of your own mouth every day?It can be said that man is a creature that is very willing to accept self-suggestions. If you give yourself negative hypnosis, you will easily become decadent, but if you give yourself positive belief suggestions, you will move in this direction To work hard to change until it is achieved.

Why does the old saying "one can't always sigh and be poor for three years" is actually not unreasonable. If you clamor that you "have no money" every day, you really can't become a rich person. You always feel that you have got some serious problem. Sickness, you may actually be sick, as if the body can understand your cues.

In fact, it is not that the body really understands your hints, but your self-guidance, self-suggestion, and self-hypnosis constantly urge you to continue in a certain state you want, and your body and mind just execute your behavior.

Some people always say: I will be like this all my life.

Others said: I am not willing to live like this for the rest of my life.

The former accepted his fate, while the latter changed his fate against the sky.

2.Mother's Curse and Daughter's Struggle
A girl was taught by her mother since she was a child: "We are ordinary people, and we will not make great achievements."

When she was in school, her mother often said: "We are just ordinary people, and we can't pay for the students of Tsinghua University and Peking University. You, you just need to study a little bit. It's important to earn money while you go to work in the morning."

But the girl refused to admit defeat, and worked hard with all her strength, and her grades have been kept in the top ten. Her mantra is different from her mother. The girl always said: "I don't want to stay in the countryside for the rest of my life. I want to see the outside world. I don't want to be a woman like my mother either."

She was admitted to a university. Although it was not the best school, she was worthy of her years of hard work.

After work, she stayed in the big city, shared a cheap apartment with someone far away from the company, and took the subway for more than three hours a day to commute, which was very hard.

Every time her mother called, she would say, "You are a girl, what are you so stubborn for? There are no outstanding talents in our family. What's the use of being strong? You should get married and have children when you reach the age, or you will become an old girl."

The girl is still unconvinced, she said that she wants to be a girl who is financially and spiritually independent, and she aspires to be a young man with dreams, instead of marrying as a wife early and spending her life with her husband and children.

So she continued to be stubborn, and continued to stay in the big city regardless, squeezed the subway, took the bus, ran the news with her predecessors, followed hot spots, left early and returned late, and devoted all her heart to work.

Finally, she gained a foothold in the unit. She always reads the news articles once and for all. Her analysis of social events is always unique. The leaders value her and her colleagues envy her.

Only her mother still didn't let her go.Her mother urged her to get married.

In desperation, she agreed to the blind date arranged by her mother. Before going, her mother warned: "With your temper, which in-law's family can bear you? Just find someone who is similar. Rich people are good-looking, and they don't like you." you."

She's not immune to blows.

Once I was really depressed, so I went to drink with my friends, and after drinking too much, I cried and said that she actually knew that her mother had a hard time, but for so many years, she has always avoided becoming a woman like her mother.

What her mother was talking about was excessive inferiority complex, the self-confidence she would never have, the belittling of herself, and the curse that restrained her from moving towards a better life.

In fact, her mother has lived in such a world all these years. All the ordinary and misfortunes are caused by her mother herself, because she does not believe that hard work can change herself, nor does she believe that she has the ability to be happier.

But this girl is fighting her mother and her fate with all she has.

She never thinks that she is humble, and she never thinks that she is useless. She believes in herself, just like believing that the sun will rise every day.

So she worked hard, trying to escape the curse set by her mother, and wanted to live a positive life.

Her mother did it, living in the spell she set, leading an ordinary life with low self-esteem and self-pity.

She also did it, breaking through the troubles of her original family, and walking towards her own path, step by step, firm and calm.

3.when you really want a certain life
In fact, when we come to this world, we don't necessarily have to be successful and famous to call it a worthless life. The most important thing is how we live our lives.

Is it positive, or pessimistic, is it interesting, or lifeless.

My friend Mia is a dance teacher in the gym. It may be because of dancing, she has a slim figure. She is not only beautiful in appearance, but also has a very poetic life.

When others are resting, they use their mobile phones or invite friends to play, but she goes to the studio alone to paint, even though she does not make a living by it.

Others would order takeaway when they were tired from work, and she would cook for herself no matter how tired she was, even if it was just a side dish, even if it was just porridge and soy milk.

She always said: "Isn't it said that a woman needs to have a fragrance in her soul? I just want to be such a woman. I don't want to live a life of losing myself, and I will never give in to life. I just want to live a relaxed and poetic life. "

When a person really wants a certain life, she will tell herself how to get to the other side of that desire.

The life you talk about is what you long for, and the result of your hard work and practice will make you live in the way you like for the rest of your life.

Your state depends on your state of mind

In autumn, the children were left to my husband, and some of our good sisters ran to the mountains and rented a yard for a short stay.

In the name of regaining one's own time, in fact, it is to find an excuse and relax in another way.

At night, I listen to the bamboo forest and pine waves in the mountains. During the day, I change my high-heeled shoes and put on sportswear, climb mountains and look far away.

Of course, the biggest theme for the sisters to get together is to laugh and curse, scold all kinds of people who don’t understand and annoy you, laugh at the ridiculous things in the world, and sigh at your unfulfilled wishes and longings. After a few days of indulgence, singing folk songs while drunk, dancing hot dances with bare feet, and performing the scripts that I temporarily wrote by myself, one must enjoy life to the fullest.

There is a time limit for everything, there is a time for sorrow, and there is a time for joy.

When the time came, we put on our makeup again, returned to Sex and the City from the clean mountains, tensed our nerves again and worked hard to make money, deal with interpersonal relationships, get used to parental squabbles, and make ourselves progress to a new level every year.With strong self-control, grasp the boundary between sadness and happiness, worry and freedom, know when to do what, what to say on what occasion, understand the responsibilities you bear, and the role you play.

Life is too long to be unchanging, peaceful, and permanent happiness. Its real state is hope for a while, disappointment for a while, despair for a while, and it goes round and round.

All we can do is to constantly adjust our mentality, bring the hustle and bustle and boredom back to a vigorous state, and enjoy ourselves while suffering.

After all, people's personality traits are different, but there are always similarities in life.

Trivial quarrels in the family, fights between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, intrigues between colleagues, bottlenecks in your career that you can’t get around, business failures, and there are always a few villains around you who will trip you... These most common scenarios, That is the truth of life.

Discouraged?Want to give up?

After giving up on yourself, you will find that you have given up the world to those annoying people and things.

If you stay up late at night and weep secretly, your skin will be bad.

You keep yelling and yelling, even a little trivial matter is like an enemy, and the family atmosphere will be bad.

If you overeat and eat without restraint, it is easy to gain weight and you will not be in good shape.

If you come in late and leave early, if you don't think about making progress, your future at work will be bad.

Until one day, you suddenly find that everyone is climbing towards the top of the mountain facing the sun, and only you are standing at the foot of the mountain, unable to move.Others have the success and perfection of others, but you seem to be under a spell and remain unchanged.

Actually you could have.

You can't control the natural disasters and accidents caused by fate, but you can adjust your heart.

If staying up late hurts your skin and body, then you should make a self-discipline plan, go to bed early and get up early, and run.

If you have a lot of troubles, then you can distract yourself, meet people who can make you laugh, and find things that make you happy.

If the salary is really low, then improve some professional skills. Without talent, hard work can make up for one's weakness. It may not necessarily make you rich, but at least it can make your salary increase year by year.

If you are tired of being around pots and pans, you might as well leave your children and husband behind for a while, find a few close friends, and experience the sensual world on the other side.

You can’t change the status quo, so try a different way of life, and you can always find a point where you can vent your grief, divert your attention, and even forget some unpleasant things. Over time, those annoying things will gradually become unpleasant. So important.

In fact, what we fight all our lives is our mentality.

I also couldn't control my anxiety. I thought about the road from head to toe in the next few decades, only to find that I had nothing but greater anxiety and confusion.

Sanmao said: "What's the heart like? It's like a vast maze, thousands of miles away. There is no boat in it that can save people. Except for self-salvation, others can't help."

Therefore, I tried my best to help myself and constantly adjusted my mentality. Writing is the self-salvation derived from the huge confusion.

The more I write, the more I feel clear and clear inside, the more I write, the more I feel that my vision is broadened and open-minded, and my state is separated from the original worries. Gradually, I am tolerant of the world and myself.

Life is a gorgeous robe, not only has many unknown cracks and patches inside, but it is even full of lice.However, with our efforts, it is still possible to turn it to a better side.

We are all moving forward on this road of self-struggle. In the end, it is not a contest between the east wind and the west wind, but to collect and store some energy in the life of chicken feathers, accumulate and hoard, so as to deal with those decadent and unthinkable years. Only when the sun rises can I support myself, pick up the needle and thread, sew and mend, wash and clean, and start again.

I saved 30, should I buy a house?

1.To buy a house or not to buy a house, that is the question
There is a property for sale nearby. I used to join in the fun and met someone.

He stood beside us and asked with a sad face: What do you think of this house?The purchase restriction policy has come out, is it appropriate to buy a house at this stage?
After talking about it, I found out that he has studied this real estate for a long time, and he is quite satisfied no matter the traffic, school district, lighting or property. The only tangled place is that he wants to resign and start his own business, but he can't stand his wife's hard work. Reminder: buy a house.

He said that he thought about buying a house last year, but he felt that the pressure of repaying the mortgage every month was too great. It was better to start a business or travel, and it was better to say "renting a house can also enjoy life". Wandering around in different cities in different countries, I have learned a lot, but the balance in the bank card must have obviously decreased.

Until this summer, seeing the price of the original real estate doubled, he regretted so much that he wanted to hit the wall, and his desire to buy a house began to revive. This time, he studied the policy while studying the real estate market. Once you buy a house, you can only make money in a regular manner in the future, and you can't toss about anything.

"I'm a person who earns a dead salary, relying on my parents, I managed to scrape together 30 yuan, and put all my net worth into it. If the house price falls, where am I going to cry?" He looked sad.

To buy a house or not to buy a house, that is the question.

2.house value

Is it the pursuit of poetry and distant places, or is it limited by the mortgage?

In the past two years, poetry and the feelings of distant places have constantly challenged people's concepts, and some inspirational and successful books have all persuaded people without exception: Your ability needs to be realized through dreams, and the same money should be used for investment, Starting a business, traveling, seeing the world, and buying a house will only increase your resistance, prevent you from fully devoting yourself to your career, and add to your burden, like a snail with a heavy shell on your back, slowly crawling step by step until you die No view of the top of the mountain.

Once a person is bound, it is easy to die of ease, hide in the comfort zone, and enjoy the illusion of ease.To sum it up in one sentence: the world is so big, go and see it quickly, saving money is for your dreams, not for buying a house.

I'm actually quite against these arguments.

Gao Xiaosong, who talks about poetry and distant places, and teaches his daughter to live with peace of mind, is just an example. He comes from a scholarly family, and his class is already different from that of young people struggling to buy a house. So far, a house has not been a necessity in his life.

Zou Shiming, a two-time Olympic boxing champion in Beijing and London, who has gained both fame and fortune but lives in a rented house, is also an example. Because he often goes to the United States for training and to participate in competitions in various places, the time is not fixed, the location is not fixed, and the house is not his life. necessity.

For ordinary people, if you plan to get married, a wedding room is a necessity. Don’t talk about renting a house, but life is not. A rented house is far less comfortable and comfortable than a house with your name written on the real estate certificate. As far as marriage is concerned, the latter is more valuable.

If you plan to have children, you must take the school district housing into consideration. You have to understand that free-range education is by no means the same as throwing children into a school randomly according to the standard of renting a house.From a general point of view, the school standards for renting houses and school district houses are not at the same level at all.

From my short-sighted point of view, housing prices will only increase slightly or stagnate at most, and will not fall sharply. Once all real estate properties fall sharply, it is basically a national or global financial crisis, such as the financial crisis in 2008-2009. storm.But the economy is in a downturn, and the country will definitely regulate macro-control. Moreover, if it is just needed, even if the house price falls, so what?You won't sell your house if the house price goes up, and you won't sell your house if it goes down.

3.Starting a business or buying a house depends on your personality
If you use the money from buying a house to start a business, invest, study, and improve yourself, I agree very much.

But there is actually no necessary connection between investing in yourself and buying a house. Most people compare starting a business with buying a house, but because of insufficient capital reserves, they cannot have both and must give up one.

So it returned to the old-fashioned proposition: chasing the dream of starting a business, or buying a house?
I think there is a fallacy in this. In the eyes of many people, entrepreneurship and investment are praiseworthy and unhesitating. It represents the energy and vitality of young people, and it represents that they are not comfortable in the comfort zone and not sticking to petty sentiments. Love, but to show the big picture; but when it comes to buying a house, I feel that it limits a person's development.

This kind of thinking has influenced many young people, including me when I was young, and slightly mature people will not be swayed by this naive point of view.

We always feel that it is great to mention dreams, but it is shameful to conform to reality.

Don’t you see, how many people have changed hands from seventy or eighty square meters to more than 100 square meters, moved from suburbs to urban areas, and moved from remote areas to school districts; I bought a house in time; don’t you see, how many people earn more than your salary by collecting rent; don’t you see, many people who have succeeded in starting a business also turned around and bought a house.

If investing in yourself is an investment, joining a physical store is an investment, starting a business is an investment, and learning is an investment, then why is buying a house not an investment?

Whether you want to start a business or buy a house depends on your personality.

A friend of mine sold two old houses and bought three new houses within two years before the purchase restriction policy came out. As soon as the policy came out, she thanked her for her decision.

She and her husband have no ambitions in their lives. They just like drinking tea, fishing, and teasing their children. They have never thought about starting a business, and they don’t travel much. Benefit from buying a house early.

Another person I knew resigned and started a company ambitiously to rent an office building to recruit employees. It didn’t take long for it to close down due to poor management;He is too introverted, indecisive, poor at management, has few resources, is not sensitive to industry trends, and is a little lazy. He can't bear the weight of his dream at all with his passion in his heart.

So after hearing his complaints, the millions invested back and forth were really not as cost-effective as buying a house.

So if you really want to make a choice between starting a business and buying a house, then you must analyze your personality, including EQ and IQ.You have to know what you are suitable for, what you can do and what you can't do.

The most important thing to be wary of are those who persuade you to pay for your dreams even though they bought a house themselves. Don’t believe anyone who speaks without back pain.

There are many people in this world who spend all their wealth on their careers, but very few succeed. Liu Chuanzhi, Yu Minhong, Ma Yun, and Ma Huateng are very good. Their all-in-one bet has brought them great success, but their success cannot be replicated. When they come to you, they may become As a counter example, you have to know whether you are expected to start a business and whether you have the potential to be a boss.

Just like whether to get married, whether to start a business, whether to quit your job, or whether to study abroad, buying a house must be a concept that varies from person to person.

If you need it, it's just what you need, and it won't change for a thousand dollars.

What happened to those who were greedy for petty gains
1.A virtuous person who is not appreciated by her husband
Not long ago, I went to apply for a decoration permit for a new house.

In front of me was a couple who had to pay a deposit and get a receipt. The procedure could have been completed in 10 minutes, but they argued for more than an hour.

The lady repeatedly explained to the staff that they will clean up the garbage and waste generated during the renovation process by themselves, so they are not going to pay the garbage cleaning fee.

The staff acted in accordance with the rules and regulations, saying that this is a procedure that all owners need to go through uniformly, and there is no exception.

The lady said: "In this way, we will not pay for the time being. When the decoration is completed, you will send someone to inspect it. It must be qualified."

The staff explained again: "We can't send special people to guard your home. After all, there are so many owners in the community, and it's really impossible to tell whose garbage is whose. Please be more considerate."

The lady continued: "I've always kept my word. Believe me, I'll find a trolley to transport this rubbish by myself. It won't hinder the new look of the neighborhood, really."

The staff still disagree.

The two sides refused to compromise and were deadlocked.

The lady's husband didn't say a word during the whole process.

He was sitting on a chair with a briefcase in his arms and documents in his hands, expressionless.

Until the lady got up to call, she didn't know whether to intercede with the sales consultant or ask someone else to help.

Her husband finally let out a long sigh: "Oh, what is this?"

In fact, according to the area of ​​their house, the garbage cleaning fee is only a few hundred yuan.

The end result was that her husband slammed the documents in his hand and shouted, "What are you doing, the floor tiles should be the cheapest, the doors and windows should be the cheapest, the whole decoration is cheap, and now even the cleaning fee Don't pay at all, it's not like we can't afford the money, what are you doing, why should you."

Speaking of excitement, he let out a long sigh, turned and left.

The lady is still struggling: "I also want to save more money and live a better life, and I am also for this family, really."

In order to stick to her so-called hardworking and thrifty housekeeping, she argued with the staff for more than an hour in front of many people waiting in line for the garbage cleaning fee of several hundred yuan and refused to give up.

However, her virtuousness was not appreciated by her husband.

In fact, she never understood that the few hundred dollars she tried to save would not be beneficial to her career as a rich man, nor would it be helpful for her inner self-esteem to grow, and even hurt her husband and her own face. .

2.Poverty thinking that counts every penny
In fact, some people are not poor, but they have been calculating for many years, so that their thoughts and behaviors are full of poor thinking that "you can take advantage and never spend money".

He thought that if he grasped the way of saving money, he would be able to live a good life, but he didn't realize that every step of life has its own purpose, and what a person loses in penny-pinching is far greater than what he gains.

I think of a friend who I don’t know very well, complaining many times that the underground parking spaces in their community are too expensive, and the price can be bought for a car, but the above-ground parking spaces need to be rented every year, which is troublesome. In fact, he is not buying I'm sorry, but he just didn't think it was worth the money.

It happened that there was a row of free parking spaces near the road outside the community, and this friend felt that he had finally found a way to save money.

So I often show off in the group: "People who buy parking spaces are too stupid to spend a lot of money. Look at this free parking space, how easy it is to use, saving time, effort and money."

In short, not only did he not buy it himself, but he also spread the theory that the parking space is useless, waste of money, and it is better for others not to buy it anyway.

After such a period of time, he finally calmed down.

It is said that he ran to buy a parking space.

Why?Because the free parking spaces on the side of the road are in short supply and are always occupied, he never dares to drive out on weekends in order to give his car a permanent place to live, because as soon as he drives away, other cars will fill in immediately.

So whenever he has time every day, he wanders around to find a seat, and when he finds it, he drives there quickly. If he can't find it, he has to stop temporarily, and at these temporary stops, points are often deducted and fined.

When he bought it later, he spent 2 yuan more than the person who bought the parking space at the beginning, because when he competed for free resources on the roadside, the price of the parking space had quietly increased.

How can this save trouble, effort and money, it is obviously time-consuming, labor-intensive and money-consuming.

It seems to be cheap, but in fact the gain outweighs the loss.

Short-sighted people always want to take advantage of some loopholes, but time will always tell them what it means to spend money to buy lessons.If a person always likes to be greedy for cheap, accumulating over time, it will only drag down his time and structure. In such a personality model, the road of life will become narrower and narrower, and his vision will become narrower and narrower.

3.Greedy gains and losses

A friend who has not been in touch with me for a long time, has been in Beijing for more than ten years, and finally only saved enough for the down payment to buy a house in Yanjiao. It takes three or four hours to commute to and from get off work every day.

In fact, he had a chance to not be so tired.

During the years when he didn’t buy a house, he and his lover lived in the houses of relatives who were kind and didn’t charge any rent. Therefore, he felt that the free house was worthless, and he lived here for more than ten years.

In the meantime, his wife also said that it was embarrassing to live like this all the time, and it would be better to save money to buy a house of his own, but he didn't care about it, and he was greedy for the comfort of his relatives' house. Stress, of course, and little motivation.

So later, when the housing prices skyrocketed, he obviously felt unable to do what he wanted, especially when his daughter was about to go to primary school and it was time to pick her up from her hometown. down payment.

People who are too greedy for immediate interests will eventually fail to become masters.

What he missed was not just a house, but also his own growth and opportunities.

When you take advantage of some small advantages, it is better to think carefully whether you have lost more.

Haggling back and forth with hawkers for a few dollars’ worth of food, always thinking about escaping orders and eating for free when gathering with friends, there are free items that you never choose to pay for, researching which clothes are on sale every day, and regularly chatting in the group every day Grab red envelopes.When a person no longer has principles and persistence in his heart, and is easy to be bought by small profits, he thinks he understands the true meaning of life, but in fact, he is consuming himself.

No one wants to make friends, do business, or discuss cooperation with people who are greedy for cheap. There are opportunities for advancement and room for development.

If you have the time to think about it, it’s better to read a few pages of books, chat with wise people, study professional skills for work, and plan career planning directions. As long as you are willing to study, you can always earn more money to buy goods at original prices To achieve a higher position, to buy more expensive things, to build a more grand structure, to see more of the world, and to know more people.

Time is unique and irreversible. Instead of wasting it in haggling, it is better to be more generous. Only a person who is generous can win this world.

No money is not terrible, no structure is terrible.

A person's upbringing is hidden in the details

1.The literacy of self-eating

Had a buffet dinner with friends last night.

Since it is a seafood buffet, there are naturally piles of crab shells, oyster shells, scallop shells, sea rainbow shells and other shells on the table, but my friend's table is so clean that it can be compared to eating Western food.

There are only three plates in front of a friend, one is the seafood or staple food or vegetables he wants to eat, the other is some fruits, and the other is empty, ready to hold the shells, bones, sticks and used vegetables. Used napkins etc.

I teased him and said, "No matter how much you eat buffet, you can't let it go, and it's still on the shelf in the office?"

He smiled and said: "No, I'm just used to it. It's good to take whatever you eat, don't waste it. Besides, I put all the garbage on a plate like this. It's easy to clean up when the cleaning aunt comes over with a cart, so I just take it away." That's it."

I am used to the idea of ​​"supporting the wall to enter and supporting the wall to exit", no matter whether you can finish the meal or not, all the dishes are brought first and then the dishes are messed up, and even the self-help theory of which dish to eat first and which bottle of drink to drink later, friends like this The gentleness of "clear soup noodles" is really amazing.

It’s not that you have to be upright and not relax when eating buffet, but that in a place that allows you to feast, you can still maintain your own quality, and you can still regard respect for others as a daily code of conduct. Not easy.

It is really rare to be restrained as usual in an occasion where you can be presumptuous.

My friend is also kind and kind on weekdays. When driving, he never fights for two or three seconds of yellow light. He will always say thank you to the waiter when he eats. I owe him a lot.

We always say that he is calm, mature, and responsible. In fact, he is well-bred and high-quality. Being friends with such a person really benefits every minute.

2.Family Upbringing Reflected in a Children's Fight
When I went to the park in warm weather, my son played with several other children whom he didn't know at first.

One of the boys, about seven or eight years old, beat a little girl to tears.

Several of us adults hurried over, and finally understood the reason from the narrative of the crying little girl and other children.

It turned out that the little girl picked up a small toy, a few leaves and sticks, and planned to build a small castle. The boy came to make trouble, trampled on the castle, and laughed.

The little girl was startled, and then reasoned with the boy, asking him why he sabotaged, and said that he would tell his mother to criticize him.

The boy yelled while pushing the little girl: His mother won't care.The little girl was pushed to the ground, and seeing that the little castle that had been built so hard was destroyed, she burst into tears.

In fact, it is normal for children to fight and stumbling, but this boy obviously did it on purpose.The adults sighed unceasingly, thinking that the cause and effect of the matter were clear, and the case should be closed here.

Who knew that the boy's mother didn't care, but laughed loudly: "Oh, my son is so naughty." Then she said to the little girl: "Don't cry, these castles are all fake, just build another one." , be good."

The little girl's mother saw that the boy's mother didn't mean to blame the boy, so she turned to the boy and said, "You are too domineering, this kind of behavior is not good, why don't your parents teach you well?"

The boy's mother said unhappily: "He is a child, what do you care about? As long as you teach well."

After all, he took the boy away.

The little girl's mother couldn't laugh or cry.

For children, this is a big or small thing.

I say small because the children play together, and they can't really clearly draw the line between jokes and fights.

The big reason is that the way the parents handle it will affect the child's future behavior.

The boy's mother knew that her child was at fault first, but she put it aside, and instead advised the little girl to calm down and stop crying.

Such family upbringing, can the children educated be good?That boy, the next time something happens, he still doesn’t know how to get along with others, how to distinguish right from wrong, let alone be responsible for the mistakes he made. He will continue to do evil until he sees the big from the small, and even walks into a bad path. road.

What kind of upbringing parents have, will teach what kind of children.

3.A person's upbringing is best seen in the details

There used to be a classmate in the dormitory who sorted out trash every time he threw it out.

Once, she had to throw away a pair of small scissors and a needle that didn't work well.

She deliberately went to the supermarket downstairs to buy tape, glued up one end of the scissors, and sealed the needle with three layers of tape. She did not put it in a bag until she was sure that no one would be stabbed again. to throw away.

My father is a very kind person. For those who come to ask for help, as long as he can do it, he will definitely help. He has never said anything. When I was young, he taught me that when I hand someone else the scissors, the blade should face me, and the handle Face each other to avoid hurting others; don’t babble when eating, this kind of behavior is not good; joke with others with restraint, and know how to save face for others; stand with standing, sit with sit...

When Mr. Qin and I first started dating, Mr. Qin bought me a SLR. When my dad found out, he lost his temper and asked me: "Can't I afford it for you? You can't let other people ask for things. If you want I'll buy you anything."

Later, I saw that Mr. Qin was really kind to me, and he didn't feel relieved because he didn't coax me around. He just thought that I couldn't be with a man just because he gave me some money.

In fact, the details are the most important to see a person's upbringing, but also the most important to see a person's growth.

Any quality, reflected in anyone, is fair.

If you are educated, you will associate with equally educated people, and your circle will be cleaner and better.

When you treat others kindly, you will get more gratitude and friendship.

If you are sincere, you will also meet sincerity.

Everything you do will reflect on yourself at some point in the future.In your temperament, not only your upbringing, but also the results of your upbringing, good or bad.

The more mature a person is, the more he understands the need to forgive
1.A gossip complaint
Went for dinner with some friends.

Because it was not time for meal, there were not many people in the restaurant. The waiter threw the menu on the table with sleepy eyes and indifferent expression and left.

Xiao Zhou was not happy, he invited this meal, because Angkor had done him a great favor, he might feel that it was embarrassing, so he insisted on complaining to the manager after ordering.

Angkor said forget it, it's not a big deal, if you complain, the waiter may lose half a month's salary.Xiao Zhou refused to give up, and directly called the restaurant manager to the box, intending to explain to the restaurant the truth that "the customer is God".

The manager of the restaurant came over with a smile on his face, and before he could speak, Xiao Zhou robbed him and said, "You waiters have such a bad attitude, we are here to consume, why don't you take us seriously."

Angkor quickly waved his hand, signaling Xiao Zhou not to speak, then stood up and pulled away the chair beside him, letting the manager sit down.

Then Angkor asked like a friend, "How's it going, you're busy, I see you look listless."

The restaurant manager sat down, smiled and said to Angkor: "It's really a bit busy. It's not going to be the end of the year. There are so many seats. I have to reconcile the account when I see the sky. I often go home in the early morning. I don't even have a I can't sleep well."

Angkor said sincerely: "That's right, all kinds of things are here at the end of the year. I did catering a few years ago. To be honest, our business is not easy. There is no point in getting up early and staying late, and there are big things in the store. I have to take care of the little things, and help the guests solve the big and small things, sometimes I really wish I could have superpowers."

Strange to say, Angkor has a magical affinity. After chatting with the restaurant manager for a while, the restaurant manager opened up the conversation box. The two chatted happily like friends who hadn't seen each other for a long time.

Seeing that the food was about to be served, Angkor changed the subject and said, "It's not easy for us, but it's also not easy for the waiters. They stand all day long and don't even care to drink their saliva. But when we do business, we still have to be careful." Regulating one's emotions can relieve stress and fatigue on the one hand, and establish a good brand image on our restaurant. The busier you are, the more you can't take it lightly, otherwise it will still be your own brand name.

The manager of the restaurant said yes again and again, while explaining that the waiters were really hardworking, just like me, day and night, and at the same time told Angkor that this suggestion was right. No matter how tired you are, you must understand that you are in the service industry, and your attitude must be To be changed.

After listening to the dialogue between Angkor and the restaurant manager, I admire it in my heart.

Angkor couldn't save his friend Xiao Zhou's face. After Xiao Zhou insisted on complaining, although he used a tactful way, he finally expressed what Xiao Zhou wanted to express.

At the same time, he also took into account the face of the manager of the restaurant. He came out to mess around and didn't let others get off the stage. What he showed was his upbringing.

The restaurant manager is neither humble nor overbearing. Although he was complained by customers, on the one hand, he explained to his subordinates that he was a protective type;

2.The spiritual level is the divergence of self-cultivation

Zi Gong, a student of Confucius, once asked Confucius: "Teacher, is there a word that can be used as a principle to be followed throughout life?" Confucius said: "That is probably 'forgiveness'." tolerant.

To forgive others is to be reasonable, that is, to keep in mind tolerance at all times. This is a very important thing. It represents not only a person's emotional intelligence, but also the person's tolerance for everything in life, which is the cultivation of quality. and spiritual expression.

In fact, in everyone's life, there will be more or less experience in the society. Some people have learned to care about every detail and must be repaid, and thus become bitter and mean. They feel that the world owes them, and they have to fight for everything .

Some people live more and more transparently, and cultivate to be open-minded and tolerant. At critical moments, always remember to leave a little room for others, and leave a step for the other party.

Therefore, for those who are too serious, the road becomes narrower and narrower, while those who are tolerant have a wide network of contacts and a broad world.

The spiritual level often determines the height of a person's life. This level is not measured by money or power status. It is a kind of self-cultivation and a temperament that radiates from the inside out.

They understand that leaving a way out for the other party is leaving a way out for themselves. A truly wise man will never let the other party have no way out, even if the other party is wronged.

The women's volleyball coach Lang Ping, many years ago, was a hero of the women's volleyball team and won numerous honors. The reputation of "Iron Hammer" has been heard all over the world. Many years later, she led the Chinese women's volleyball team back to the top and returned to the world-class level.

But she, who is honored, also had an unfortunate marriage, which ended in divorce.

When the media kept asking her why she got divorced, Lang Ping never mentioned it. She said, "I've said enough, it's not fair to him (referring to my ex-husband), because I have a lot of problems with the media." chance, and he didn't."

Such an atmosphere is really admirable.

Yes, she has many opportunities to face the media, no matter what she says, it is not too much, but she chooses to keep silent and choose to give her ex-husband a fair chance and a peaceful life. This is not just respect for her ex-husband, It is also the respect and affirmation of his marriage.

Don't stick to the past, don't be serious about the details, only then can you have the energy and time to do what you like, and you can achieve something in a certain field. Only then can she lead the women's volleyball team to the peak again and again, making the world attention.

This is the real wise man.

3.Being too picky is a sign of a lack of inner strength

When we do things, we should not just try to be quick-mouthed for a while, just to overwhelm others in momentum. This kind of inexplicable sense of superiority is the worst, just like Xiao Zhou in the dinner.I always feel that a person's words and deeds are his business card, and a narrow mind is tantamount to a prison for himself, so that others dare not be friends with you, because you don't know when you will touch your sensitive nerves and be misunderstood by you To damage your vested interests, such a friendship is really tiring.

In fact, in terms of speech and behavior, people who are too picky about others are precisely because they lack strength in their hearts, so they make enemies of others everywhere and set up interpersonal barriers for themselves, so the road gets harder and harder, because walking everywhere It doesn't make sense, no one likes to have long-term contacts with people who are penny-pinching.

But smart people know when to be serious, when to make a big difference, leave blanks to others, leave blanks to themselves, and talk with them like a spring breeze. What they think in their hearts is not interests, but friendship. Instead of making enemies, it is better to make friends. Friends, after all, it is easier to travel when you have more friends.

Even if you are reasonable, you really don't have to occupy the moral high ground and trample on others crazily.

In all interpersonal relationships, we are all looking for the part of empathy. The so-called fish look for fish and shrimp, and mung beans look for sesame seeds. Whoever you are, you will associate with whom, and what level you are, you will meet the same people. Hierarchy of people.

When you are open-minded and know how to think about others, you will inevitably meet more people who think about you. The accumulation of these levels determines the height of your life.

I used to like to talk about love, but later I only wanted to make money

1.The gentleness of bowing the head reveals the trace of compromise to the secular world
I went downstairs to get a manicure, and listened to the capable and beautiful proprietress talking about it for nearly three hours.

Two new massage beds have been added to the store. She has learned traditional Chinese medicine acupuncture and cupping, which can relieve fatigue and stress; a wall has been expanded to hang various underwear, which is her new agent brand; a new batch of essential oils has also been introduced , she said not only to take care of the face, but also to take care of the body.

These incidental conveniences will increase her extra income. She is a little pleased with herself, but more worried: What else do you think I can add to this store?
I laughed at her, all I wanted to do was make money.

She said that because she earned too little in the past, she now has a strong desire.

She fell in love with a man when she was 17 years old, abandoned her studies in the name of true love, and eloped to work for a living. She was young and ignorant, thinking that love is everything, and everything is not worth it.

But I never thought about the hardships in the world. The young people who fall in love with each other early are constrained by their parents' suppression, lack of financial resources, and their lives are stretched. They live in the basement and get a salary of 1000 yuan.

Sentient beings will never drink enough water, it will only make you hungrier and hungrier, and even painting cakes can't satisfy your hunger.

So when the landlord raised the rent, when the vegetable vendor was short of money, and when the supermarket had a big sales promotion, she gradually practiced a formidable wall, from being cautious to being invulnerable to all poisons, from pretty blushing to thick-skinned thick, because that meager benefit is all the support in her life.

After a few years, she married the elopement boy and had a child, but her husband's salary was meager, and the family expenses depended entirely on the manicure skills she had learned, but she did not change her aggressive personality, and quarreled with clients whenever she disagreed. , Apart from anything else, drive people out: I won't make any money, and you won't be allowed to pick on my craftsmanship.

However, when she realized that her child was growing up but could only go to the cheapest kindergarten, she finally began to bow down, bow her eyebrows, be respectful and polite, speak well of picky guests, submissive to difficult women, and gentle to everyone Whispering, she smiled: "For the sake of the other party paying the bill, say whatever you like, whatever you like."

The aloofness and awe are all gone, replaced by a face that has been destroyed by the years. The time has long gone, and the wayward and arrogant back then is like a retribution for the world, making people feel wronged.

She said that at that time, she thought love was heaven, but later she found out that the man who smoked, drank, played cards and played games was nothing more than that.So she worked hard to build an indestructible body, and no longer believed in fanatical love, but only firmly believed in the way forward. The money in her hand and the balance in the bank card were her beliefs for the rest of her life.

She nursed my fingers, and the tenderness of bowing her head showed signs of compromise with the world.

2.You need to understand that all spiritual levels are based on matter

When I was in my twenties, my mind was full of love, love, and life after life. Everyone seemed to be living in a Qiong Yao drama, and it seemed like 78 episodes could not be finished. A walk under the flyover felt romantic; holding hands crushed the road. I have to shiver and insist on happiness; I want to be a moth to the flame, but I love with ignorance of the world, thinking that after quenching, I will be complete.

Where does consummation come from?Who can give you Consummation?

Do you know that in this world, quarreling and breaking up, separation and divorce, all scenes are just ordinary dramas, which are staged every day in the world, and only you eat love as a meal, thinking that you are in heaven.

The older I get, the more I realize that those jealous arguments are really boring, and I don’t know why I was so obsessed with it at the beginning, crying and checking the other party’s chat records, and ran away from home because of trivial matters. You are about to explode when you send your female colleagues home. All your happiness and sorrows are pinned on men. You call it love, but I think it is torture, consumption, and distaste for each other.

We are all grown-ups, there is really no need to go online to check gang fights, it is better to find a way to make some money when you have time.When you are sad, helpless and weeping, you can remember it in the presidential suite of a five-star hotel instead of a small hotel that costs 60 yuan a night; you can play golf on a Pacific Rim cruise ship instead of wiping tears in the park downstairs I am still afraid of being seen by acquaintances; I can go to Prague Square to feed the pigeons, maybe I can run into Tony Leung, instead of turning around and seeing stray dogs rushing out and being startled, with discounted yogurt scattered all over the floor.

Working hard to make money does not mean that you are greedy for worldly fame and fortune, but that you understand that all spiritual levels must be based on material things. When you are at the bottom of society, you will not meet a higher level spiritual partner.

3.You've walked long distances in this life, not just for a man

I once felt that many women were ruined by love and marriage.

She has the style of a general, her ideas are at her fingertips, her plans are amazing, and her various skills are gradually developing. Who knows that once she gets married, she resigns, takes care of her husband and raises her children, and sees her again in the next year. The aura of the past was gone, and only the parents complained about their complaints, and they were wary of whether their husband was having an affair.

She can also rise to the top, do things cleanly, treat things well, be generous, and cooperate with all parties in a good relationship, and continue to renew the contract for the company. Lose interest in things, and even make yourself less glamorous.

This is not the worst, the worst may be that after being cheated on, you are devastated, facing the misery of the mistress, being depressed and lifeless after giving birth, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are at odds, and ending in embarrassment... Encountering scumbags, widowed marriages, one after another , together is a fatal blow.

What you thought was true to each other turned into a joke in the end, so you left sadly and found that there was no way out.

Why bother, why bother?
You have to know that love is the icing on the cake. It’s the best if you have it, and it’s okay if you don’t have it. It’s really not worth giving up your job promotion or even half your life’s glory for it. Keep your desire for life, let you understand the meaning of struggle, and let you re-understand the difference between the former self and the present self.

You trek across the mountains and over the mountains to walk in the world, not just for a man.

The rules of the game for adults, how many of them have you achieved

As you grow older, if you feel that your vision has broadened, your temperament is gentle, and your dealings with others become more gentle, then congratulations, you are making good and beautiful progress on the road of life, and everything will get better and better.

If the facts are the opposite, you become preoccupied and insensitive, you get irritable over little things, you struggle with a few dollars, you quarrel endlessly with your family and loved ones, and you have no relationship with your relatives, friends and neighbors, then you will be in trouble soon. Social relationships that experience this vicious cycle over a long period of time.

All our efforts are to hope that life will be on a better and better path, so it is very important to occasionally see our previous shortcomings and think about how to maintain our calmness.

1.High eyes but low hands is a taboo in life

A friend's company once recruited an intern. During the interview, he was full of enthusiasm. He seemed to be a good young man with great ambitions and ambitions, but after getting along with him, he found that it was not the case.

The intern graduated from a 985 university and felt that he was worth a lot, so he didn't look down on the company of his friend who just started his business.

Seeing that a client needs to print materials, he complained that this is what an assistant should do. Can a company without a clerk still be called a company?

He didn't care about writing a report. He directly searched and downloaded it from the Internet. He didn't bother to modify it and sent it directly by email.

During the holidays, when he saw other friends posting the company's year-end awards and gifts, he began to complain that the small company had nothing.

There were some small problems in signing the contract. He complained that the company’s system was not perfect, and his colleagues disagreed because of their work. He believed that others were stubborn and he had no problems at all. Finally, he attributed the behavior of his colleagues to: a small company can’t know people and do things well. , Only hire employees without academic qualifications.

As soon as the probationary period was over, he clamored to resign. In fact, his friend didn't intend to keep him, but before leaving, the two sat down and chatted.The intern bluntly said that this small company cannot fulfill his dream. He felt that his talents could not be fully utilized, and he felt that his talents were underappreciated. He insisted that he was a person with an annual salary of hundreds of thousands, an independent office, and an assistant to help book air tickets, rather than being here today. awkward position.

My friend said that he really wanted to laugh at that moment. Are young people nowadays so arrogant?

Great eyesight and low hands are a kind of disease of being too proud, looking down on any small things, just thinking about realizing dreams overnight, but don’t know that every dream has been accumulated over time, continuous tempering, accumulation of experience, accumulation of experience, life has the possibility of continuous progress .

You can be proud, but if you are too proud of your talents, too immersed in unrealistic fantasy, but neglect the work you should do, it is not a good thing. You must know that character and attitude largely determine a person's life Track, how can you sweep the world if you don't sweep a house?

2.work is work, life is life
Zhang Ailing said: "A man after middle age often feels lonely, because when he opens his eyes, he is surrounded by people who depend on him, but there is no one he can rely on."

But the world, who is not like this?

Is it easy for a full-time mother to face the dick of Dabao and Erbao?
Children who are only in the first and second grades have to do their homework until seven or eight o'clock after school, and there are various interest classes waiting to learn, is it easy?
Entrepreneurs, close your eyes to attract investment and find resources, open your eyes to make plans and plans, is it easy?

It is precisely because all living beings are suffering that we should straighten out our own attitudes.

Work is a necessary practice in life, and so is life.

There is no need to extend the emotions at work to the corners of life, otherwise life will be meaningless.

Don't let the trivial things in life affect your mood at work. After all, everything will pass, affect career development, and miss opportunities. There is no medicine for regret in the world.

Emotions at work are best digested before going home.

Sometimes, you have been busy at the office all day but have no clue, and you are still thinking about the meeting proposal when you come home from get off work, so the children want you to play games with you, but you turn a deaf ear, and your wife calls you to eat and you lose your temper.

In fact, your confusion makes you miss too much of the essence of life. We work hard to get a better life, to have more fun, and to realize our own value, but once this pressure is brought into ordinary life, It loses its original meaning. If you calm down, you will find that making a bowl of egg fried rice in the kitchen is also very interesting.

The trivialities of life are swallowed on the way to work.

Sometimes, daily necessities are enough to wipe out all the enthusiasm of a person, let him soak in the entanglement of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fights, husband and wife quarrels, run away from home because of a gift that was too late to prepare on Valentine's Day, cause a disturbance because a friend said something bad, because neighbors Fighting against each other due to disharmony... These are enough to make you feel sleepy and heartbroken.

In fact, it doesn’t matter, if you play, you have fun; if you study, you study hard; if you are busy, you just concentrate on doing things, and don’t let petty emotions affect your life plan.

3.Learn to stop loss in time

A friend joined a company and was very satisfied with the salary negotiation, so he was ready to go and decided to do a lot of work. After entering the company for a few months, he found that he had fallen into a huge trap.

Not to mention that the conditions negotiated at the beginning were not fulfilled, the boss's conduct was not good, and he almost wanted to unspoken rules for her, and the company atmosphere was not good.

I often heard her complain in the group, saying that she met people unkindly, that she would hand in her resignation report next month, and felt that it was a pity to leave.

Because she was too entangled, we didn't say anything anymore, what can we say?If she won't listen, all your consolation will be in vain.

When a company cannot provide you with room for promotion and salary increase, nor can it bring you any progress and growth, let alone the feeling of advancing and retreating together for many years, what is the meaning of your stay?
You have troubles, why can't you make a detailed life plan for yourself?See what you want, what you can do, and what you can change, instead of wasting time while walking and staying.

As with work, so with love.

Lily, the front desk of the company, has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for nine years, but the other party has no intention of getting married. Whenever she mentions that she is almost 30 years old and will be left behind if she doesn't get married, her boyfriend says that she is still young and not in a hurry.

A man like this didn't include you in his future plans. If he doesn't break up, is he still waiting to waste his youth?
One of the most important manifestations of a person's maturity is to learn to stop losses in time.

Energy and patience cannot withstand consumption. You have to learn to spend your time on worthwhile things instead of wasting it on people who hurt you.

4.Those who can play have a future
What I mean by playing is not to let you go clubbing, get drunk, or play cards, but to have an attitude towards life, know how to laugh at yourself, and learn to be humorous.

My friend's sister, who is not yet 30 years old, is already a mother of two children.Ordinarily she is young, and the family atmosphere should be lively and interesting, but she is extraordinarily serious.

When the child joked with her, she said that there were no rules, and she was reasonable until the child cried; when her husband made fun of her, she said that she had nothing serious to do all day long, and she had a playful smile on her face when she was not making money.

A person who chats to death at any time has no future. It is hard for you to imagine how dark and old her skin is when she is less than 30 years old, and how oppressive and restrictive the atmosphere of the whole family is.

Without joy, she is unhappy, and the whole family is unhappy.

But her sister, my friend, is a playful person.

On weekends, I accompany my husband to go fishing, follow my son to climb the wall, and she can catch every joke of my husband.She likes to read Duan Zishou's Weibo, and sometimes quarrels, but she laughs out loud because of a single sentence. She has never had an overnight feud with anyone. She lives a nourishing life, and her husband and children live comfortably.

My friend and her sister's children have completely different personalities under the influence of different family environments. My sister's daughter is timid and cowardly. She never dares to make demands on others. She is afraid when others get angry. She is cautious all day long and looks very sensible. , In fact, because there is no sense of security.

The son of my sister's family is generous, smart, polite, and has a very high emotional intelligence. From kindergarten to elementary school, he is liked by many teachers and children of the same age.

If this continues, the lives of the two children will definitely be different.

In fact, those who can't play lose because they are too serious. Everything is serious, but in the end everything is unsatisfactory. Those who can play, because they have enough love and sense of security to support them, can develop and become more healthy. Of course, his personality is more attractive.

5.learn to spend money

Two people of the same age who graduated at the same time, what did they rely on to widen the gap in the end?
One is the ability to work, and the other is the management of money.

During the financial crisis in 2009, I had two classmates who had a good relationship. One saved money to buy a house in Beijing, and the other had dinner with friends every day, went clubbing, sang karaoke and traveled.

For so many years, I have always felt that people should avoid entering into a misunderstanding, that is, buying a house limits their career development.You must have read some articles telling you that the money should be used to start a business and do what you like, not to pay off the mortgage.

That's right, traveling can broaden your horizons and increase your knowledge, and having dinner can also expand your circle of friends and strengthen your network.

However, this does not mean that buying a house is the stress that makes you miserable. On the contrary, most of those who bought a house in the early years are now middle-class, and those who did not buy a house do not know where to cry.

It's not that you must buy a house, but no matter what your salary is, you should know where the money should be spent to increase its value. You have to have a specific plan to implement it.

Learning to manage money is the most basic skill for an adult. If you don't even understand this, your money is just swirling in your bank card.

You earn money only if you know how to spend it, so you must think about it, where does your money go?

6.keep your mouth shut

The default game rule among adults is: strike up a conversation.

It’s not to teach you to be tactful, but to tell you that straightforwardness should not be used as a shield for your outspokenness, and outspokenness means low EQ.

You are already an adult, and there may be seniors and juniors. If you still expose the scars of others in public, you can show your superiority, and still self-righteously sarcasm and mock your opponents in communication, then it is too naive .

The so-called sitting in meditation often thinks about one's own faults, and chats without talking about others' faults. It means don't speak out, and don't be quick to talk. If you have this time, it's better to read a book or watch a movie. At least you can learn knowledge .

The world of adults is nothing more than the process of abandoning childishness and gradually becoming mature, knowing what to do and what not to do, knowing what you want and what you don't want, being more rational and calm.Life is difficult, but when you master a certain rhythm, you will finally get what you want.

What is bravery?don't look back
1.The past 18 years are just memories

At the end of 2017, Moments posted photos of themselves at the age of 18. The reason was a meme on the Internet: the last batch of post-90s had reached the age of 18, bid farewell to youth and entered adulthood, and the first batch of post-00s was about to debut.

For a while, the sense of ceremony brought by such swiping of the screen is indeed emotional and nostalgic. When I think back to my 18 years old, it seems to be right in front of me, but in fact, many years have passed.

At that time, there were no beauty cameras, and the Internet was not well developed. People who knew how to use QQ were already at the forefront of the trend.The way to prove that the friendship is strong is to go to the self-service machine to take a group of headshots, or write a sincere message on the graduation record, and take the classmates to the playground for a walk. In fact, it is to watch the person you like lay up in three steps. Looping Gigi Leung's "Bump", write on the notepad: You said you are so lonely, life is very hard, and I have long forgotten how to find happiness.In the age of naivety, I thought that a few lines of lyrics would have seen through my life.

The beauty of being 18 is that it never comes back.How cruel time is, inadvertently we have gone through the annual rings round after round, so when such a node appears, we finally find an excuse to express our emotions and cherish the memory of our lost youth.

I think of a time when I moved, and found a lot of letters from my school days. My classmates lived in different cities and couldn’t afford a mobile phone. Relying on letters to express my heartfelt feelings, and some feel like being secretly in love.I always thought that I was fat and willful and rebellious at that time, but I also received a confession. The preferential treatment of the years made people very warm.

However, I haven't opened these handwritten emotions for many years. If it wasn't for moving, maybe they would continue to see the light of day. Those long-term memories would never fly into my dreams again.

In good conscience, if you were allowed to return to the age of 18, would you be willing?I do not want to.

So my nostalgia is so thin that I didn't even survive a quarter of an hour before flying away lightly.

I have always refused to keep too many memories. I always feel that I am too naive, too willful in dealing with things, and my personality is not free and easy. The key is that I have "baby fat" that cannot be ignored, and it is not beautiful at all.

In contrast, I love who I am today.

2.If you are strong, life will rise up
To some extent, a person often lives in the troubles of the past, which represents his unwillingness.

If you bought a few more houses ten years ago, the value today may not be the same.

If I had confessed to the person I had a crush on for a long time back then, maybe today I would not be alone and do not want to get married.

It would have been nice to have bought a few bitcoins at the beginning, but now the price has soared to more than 1 US dollars.

If only I knew how to be considerate of my parents at that time, the biggest regret in the world is that the son wants to support but the relative is not around.

So many misses, irretrievable emotions, and irreversible opportunities, every time I think about it, I add countless times of unwillingness.

The opportunity ten years ago will never be there again ten years later.

The person you loved ten years ago will not be waiting for you ten years later.

The irreversibility of time and the unpredictability of the future make people lose the courage to move forward.

Lost in love, I dare not expect someone better than my ex to appear in the future, so I feel sorry for myself and feel extremely painful.

Unemployed, I can't believe that there will be better career positions and entrepreneurial success waiting for me, thinking that the years are stagnant at the moment of failure, so I am confused and worried.

When arguing with others, the unspoken words are finished in my mind, and I can't say them. When I go home, I have to scold myself for being incompetent, and I can't even quarrel.

Being framed by others, without even having the chance to confront others, her self-esteem collapsed in an instant, and her self-confidence completely collapsed.

If you miss the rising period of real estate, you will think that your whole life will be buried in failure, and the stock you did not buy will always be in the place of regret in your heart.

The promotion that was not grasped made people fall into a huge lack of self-confidence.

Although people are not sages and sages, we cannot avoid wars and chaos in our youth. After all, we cannot learn to hide our emotions in a predictable way, nor can we read the warmth and coldness of human relationships when we are not confident, and we may not have the ability to predict. Who would have thought that housing prices would rise rapidly after the financial crisis Grow out of reach?
We went from teenagers to youths to middle ages, hit the south wall, bleed and shed tears, and refused to give up.

How can I go back?Naive characters are always stupid, and all their actions seem heroic and short-tempered, so I don't like that era, because they were not smart, and they never felt at ease because they were young.

It wasn't until later that I was able to conclude based on experience: those things that have happened but cannot be changed, it is better to let go, don't think, don't read, don't look back, let it be there, I don't care about it, put down the butcher knife and become a Buddha immediately.

This is probably what people often say. Many things have not been resolved, but it is not so important in your heart. When it is not important, you can let it go.

Humans are brave and powerful creatures, they will let go as soon as possible after weighing the pros and cons, and do worthwhile things with limited time.Cowardly people will die from the past that they can't get out of, and they will have no life.

Because the opportunity is fleeting, you are anxious, confused, sad, resentful, and depressed. What you miss may be the opportunity to change your life.

There is no doubt that you and I at the age of 18 are far from strong enough, but we know that only strong.Only in this way can I change all this, so I love who I am now. With step-by-step efforts, my strength will bloom and my life will move up the ladder.

3.Don't look back, bravely let go of the past
Many people are entangled in the torrent of fate.

There is a person in the circle of friends who always lives when she is 20 years old. Her father died that year, her brother became addicted to gambling and was in debt of tens of thousands, and her mother remarried. A good family collapsed in an instant.

She is just a 20-year-old girl who has not yet seen the wider world, but has entered a narrow world where the sun cannot shine.

Time has changed, and the pain should always recover, but she didn't.

She goes on a blind date according to her mother's will, as long as the other party is willing, she is willing, and never dares to pick a word, because she is humble and puts herself in a dusty position.

She participates in the work, never fights, and doesn't say a word about the teasing of her colleagues.

She thought it would be like this all her life, until she met Mr.Right at the age of 27, and she realized that life was so beautiful, so she finally let go of her obsession and started from scratch.

So many years wasted.

Don't look back, there is nothing more than three words in the world: greed, hatred and ignorance.The normal state of our life is to tangle between these few words, let tall buildings pile up, let the bright moon set in the west, lingering until death, destined.

As a result, we have more emotions in it, and we never forget our stupid things, thinking about changing our face and starting a new life, and spare no effort to belittle and despise our former self.

No, the real letting go is never forgetting, but never mentioning it again, it no longer has special meaning, and it can no longer affect you, so good, you are about to enter the next stage of life.

Whether you were once brilliant or down, don't try to clear up your memory, the most rare thing is to be confused; don't look back, even if the former you are fragmented.What supports us to move forward is not to gain wisdom by eating a ditch, but not to care.

Believe that there is a better world waiting for you ahead, and you, let go of your thoughts about the past, you deserve a better one.

(End of this chapter)