thirst for passion

Chapter 2

1)
On the morning when Yin Chushi and Xiao Qiao left Dragon City, three things happened.The first made him realize a difference, or at least he thought so; the second surprised him; important.

The first thing is very beautiful. To put it simply, when Yin Chushi was still asleep, Xiao Qiao had already quietly got up and went to the street to buy breakfast.The breakfast in the hotel is not good, they have already experienced it fully.Xiao Qiao returned to the room with fried dough sticks, fried cakes, and steamed buns. Yin Chushi turned over and muttered something inaudible, not wanting to wake up immediately.Xiao Qiao made two cups of fragrant coffee and opened the curtains. At this time, she jumped onto the bed and put her cold face on Yin Chushi's, which was blown by the sea breeze in the morning, to wake him up.

"What time is it?" Yin Chushi asked out of habit, but he didn't really want to know the time.The train is near noon and they have plenty of time.He hugged the fresh little Joe and smelled the aroma of coffee at the same time.

"Get up and have breakfast."

"Let me lie on the bed and eat." Yin Chushi begged.

"Okay." Xiao Qiao readily agreed.She moved the things to the small cabinet by the bed. "Did Wang Yi let you eat breakfast like this when you were at home?" Xiao Qiao seemed to ask casually.

"Normally not." Yin Chushi didn't want to say more.He thought that although Wang Yi made breakfast at home, he always felt uneasy.He didn't know where the pressure came from, because Wang Yi never complained.Today, when he saw Xiao Qiao doing this, he seemed to understand better: for Xiao Qiao, preparing breakfast for the man she loves is something she loves.What this aroused in the man who enjoyed the breakfast was emotion, not gratitude.He felt that what he had for Wang Yi was the latter kind of feeling, and if this feeling of gratitude lasted for a long time in a person's heart, it would produce disturbing pressure.No one should do what for whom.

"Won't Wang Yi make breakfast?"

"Do," he said, "but not the same."

"Yes, it's different." Xiao Qiao put a deep-fried dough stick in Yin Chushi's hand, "She makes it every day, but I do it occasionally. Of course it's different."

"Qiao Qiao, you are such a good girl, you can understand other women in this way."

"This is also my understanding of myself." Xiao Qiao said and swallowed a small steamed bun, "It's delicious, you should try it too." She picked up another and stuffed it into Yin Chushi's mouth. "However, I am really willing to serve a man, provided that the man I love."

After eating breakfast, Xiao Qiao got into Yin Chushi's bed, and they snuggled up against the head of the bed. For a long time, neither of them said anything.

"How long?" Xiao Qiao asked quietly.

"About three hours." Yin Chushi didn't look at his watch.

"And then we have to put on a mask to love each other, pretend to be cold in front of others, pretend to be uninterested in each other, and have to keep the goddamn sense."

"Stop talking." Yin Chushi interrupted Xiao Qiao.

"It's also quite fun." Xiao Qiao said, "Like an underground party."

"I'm sorry." Yin Chushi's voice was almost inaudible.

Little Joe sat up straight and saw his tears.She was flustered, and she quickly said, "I'm sorry, I should say sorry, I dragged you in."

"No," he said.He kept the next words in his heart, he felt that Xiao Qiao couldn't understand his guilt.As a man, he cannot make the woman he loves happy and fully satisfied, and he feels guilty.Facing Xiao Qiao, he also had to face Wang Yi.Facing these two women, he was as powerless as a wild goose being shot.

Xiao Qiao reached out to wipe away the tears on his face, but immediately new tears poured down.Xiao Qiao stopped wiping, and she also cried on Yin Chushi's body.

After crying, they were much calmer and finally able to talk again.Xiao Qiao asked Yin Chushi if he often shed tears.

"No, I haven't cried for many years." Yin Chushi said and kissed Xiao Qiao's eyes, as if to identify whether the eyes are the only channel for tears.

"What year was the last time you cried?" Xiao Qiao asked playfully, she wanted to make Yin Chushi happy.

"More than 20 years ago." It was not easy for him.

"Why?" Xiao Qiao also became serious.

"I heard that my first girlfriend died in a car accident." Yin Chushi said that his eyes became damp again, but he endured it. "She took work and went back to the city before I did, and she agreed that we'd get married when I went back."

Xiao Qiao put her hand on Yin Chushi's cheek.He felt better, which enabled him to continue talking about the past.And this past incident has always been a piece of bitterness in his heart.

"It's been half a month since she died before I got the news. The hospital buried her. Her parents died early, she only had one older brother, and she was sentenced to life imprisonment. When I think about her, I hate myself. Why should I fight?" This and that, I've got so much, enough. I shouldn't want more. She died before she had nothing. She was a very nice girl. Life is so fucking unfair sometimes." After Yin Chushi finished speaking, he closed his eyes.Xiao Qiao could see his pity for the girl from his face.Xiao Qiao's heart warmed up, and she found that the man in front of her was very kind, maybe a little weak.

Yin Chushi suddenly felt that he should get dressed and get up.He seemed to be suddenly freed from the sadness just now.Not only did he understand the difference between Wang Yi and Xiao Qiao through this breakfast, but there was another thing: he never told Wang Yi about the dead girl.He didn't know why he didn't say it.

When Yin Chushi had just put on his clothes and was about to go to the toilet, someone knocked on the door.Xiao Qiao standing in front of the closet opened the door casually, so that Yin Chushi would not be able to go to the toilet.Because Zhao Chunhua has already come in.

"I'm a waiter." Zhao Chunhua introduced herself.In fact, if she didn't say anything, people could also find that she was wearing a hotel uniform. "My name is Zhao Chunhua." She said again.

"Hello, what's the matter?" Xiao Qiao greeted her, and asked because she didn't see her holding the cleaning tool.

"Are you my cousin?" Zhao Chunhua said to Xiao Qiao shyly.

Little Joe was stunned.Zhao Chunhua said again, "Your name is easy to remember, four horizontal and one vertical."

"Four horizontals and one vertical?" Xiao Qiao was confused.

"That's right, the king has three horizontal lines, plus one, isn't it four horizontal lines and one vertical line?"

"Wait a minute, little girl, are you Wang Yi's cousin?" Yin Chushi seemed to vaguely remember Wang Yi mentioning this distant relative.

"Yes, you are your cousin-in-law Yin Chushi, right?"

"I'm Yin Chushi." He said inaccurately, as if he had just become Yin Chushi.

"I looked at the registration card yesterday and didn't know you were my cousin's husband? All I knew was that a cousin's husband worked for your newspaper. When I got home and asked my mother, she said that his name was Yin Chushi. What a coincidence you said. ?”

Yin Chushi and Xiao Qiao were completely confused by this cousin who fell from the sky.

"My mother asked me to take you home for dinner after get off work." Zhao Chunhua said, "My mother said that I haven't seen you for more than ten years, and this time I have to go home for dinner no matter what."

Yin Chushi recalled seriously, and swore that he had never seen this cousin's mother.

"No," said Xiao Qiao, "we'll have to drive back in a while."

"So urgent?"

"Yes." Yin Chushi said, "I will go again next time when I have a chance."

"If I knew you were in such a hurry, I would have asked my mother to come with me early this morning. My mother really wanted to see my cousin. She said that you sent her a photo with her cousin's husband, but she didn't know where to put it , I couldn’t find it no matter how hard I looked.”

Yin Chushi breathed a sigh of relief. He said that he would send a new one later.Zhao Chunhua was very happy to hear what her cousin-in-law said. She said, that's really great, and carefully wrote down the address of the hotel to Yin Chushi, and finally repeated her name, "My name is Zhao Chunhua. Spring in spring Flowers of flowers." After Zhao Chunhua finished speaking, she turned to Xiao Qiao again, and she said, "Cousin, you are so beautiful. You are so young. Neither Liu Xiaohong nor I have seen the clothes you are wearing on TV."

"Who is Liu Xiaohong?" Yin Chushi asked alertly.

"It's my shift, my friend." After Zhao Chunhua finished speaking, she looked at Xiao Qiao's clothes enviously.

"Do you like it?" Xiao Qiao opened the cupboard and asked Zhao Chunhua, pointing to those clothes.

Zhao Chunhua nodded and said she liked it.

"I'll give you one." Xiao Qiao said and took out a floral muslin shirt and handed it to Zhao Chunhua.

"I don't want it, I don't want it!" Zhao Chunhua said while taking the floral shirt.

"That's how it is, Chunhua. When we come here again in the future, we will look for you."

"Okay," Zhao Chunhua stepped back towards the door knowingly. "Thank you, cousin." She raised the shirt in her hand and reminded Yin Chushi, "Don't forget to send photos, cousin." She opened the door, "I'll help you with your luggage in a while." Zhao Chunhua finally left.Back in the dressing room, I put on my cousin's floral shirt, looked at myself in the mirror, and felt very different from before.This is called grade.She remembered the words on TV.

Yin Chushi and Xiao Qiao were teased by Zhao Chunhua and decided to leave the hotel early.When they bid farewell to Zhao Chunhua, they only said that there was still work to be done.Zhao Chunhua looked regretful, as if it was only because her cousin and his wife didn't say goodbye to her as she expected.When Yin Chushi and Xiao Qiao sat in the train, Yin Chushi suddenly realized that there might be another unexpected thing happened.When he was about to leave, Xiao Qiao called him and asked him not to bring his own camera, but to try using hers.She said her class was a little higher.Yin Chushi was very happy. He just took out a box of condoms from a film bag in his camera bag and put them in his leather bag.At the time, he forgot that there was a box of these British-made condoms, which were not cheap, in the other pocket where the film was kept.

He pinned all his hopes on this: Wang Yi would not move his camera bag.Wang Yi never rummaged through his things, just like he never rummaged through Wang Yi's things.He still had a deep fear, though, and he suppressed it, so Joe couldn't see it.He didn't want Xiao Qiao to worry too.His fear was not unreasonable, if Wang Yi found this box, everything would have to be made public, because he and Wang Yi never used this method.Wang Yi thinks another kind of film is more convenient.Moreover, the Chinese often say, don’t be afraid of [-], just in case.

When Xiao Qiao woke up and was about to go out to buy breakfast for Yin Chushi, Xiao Yue and Wang Yi had already had breakfast.Wang has a class in the morning, so he is more in a hurry.Xiao Yue said that in the afternoon, the students in their class would take a group photo with the teacher, because a classmate moved to Hong Kong, and everyone took a souvenir.Xiao Yue said that she wanted to contribute a film. She said that her classmates knew that her father took pictures.

Wang Yi complained that Xiaoyue didn't talk about it the night before, and then he opened the refrigerator and found that it was all reverse films. He remembered Yin Chushi's camera bag at home.She looked first at the film pocket on the left, there was a box of Kodak reverse.She looked at the right pocket again, a small white box with blue letters, she took it out, and saw the Konica negative underneath.She opened the film box to check whether it had been photographed, and after everything was fine, she handed the film to Xiao Yue.She found that the small box full of English was still in her hand.She's going to take a look and put it back in place.

She glanced at it, and there was a bang in her head, as if she had detonated a landmine with her own hands. After a long time, she found that she was still alive, so she put the small box back to its original place.

"Mom, I'm leaving." Xiao Yue bid farewell as usual, but there was no response as usual.

"Mom, I'm leaving." Xiao Yue said it again, emphasizing her tone and voice.

"Let's go." Xiao Yue felt that the voice didn't sound like her mother's, but her mother was the only one in the room.So Xiao Yue left with confidence.

Wang Yi stood on the podium, took a deep breath, and finally started the lecture.She was very nervous, worried that she would say what was worrying her, worried that she would lose control.She usually likes to read some simple psychology books.She remembered an example Freud gave: a man who had always wanted to break up with his girlfriend sent a nasty love letter to his girlfriend by mistake, and sent a letter to his friend complaining about his girlfriend. .Freud believed that such "mistakes" are something that many human consciousness desires to make, but dare not make.Then the subconscious mind jumps in to help.Wang Yi was very afraid that her subconscious mind would jump out and write her doubts about her husband as grammar on the blackboard.

Kang Xun was sitting in the old position, and Wang glanced at him, and he knew that his condition was very bad, because Kang Xun didn't attend the class at all, and he was worried.Wang Yi didn't go down for a walk as usual.Listen to your classmates doing the exercises.She was firmly "nailed" to the podium like a stake, trying to avoid meeting Kang Xun's probing eyes.

As soon as the bell rang for the end of get out of class, she immediately packed her things and prepared to leave the classroom, but Kang Xun pulled Zhu Kangxun to ask the teacher if she had any questions in front of the students who were leaving one after another.Wang Yi had to return to the podium again.At the back of the classroom there were two Japanese students talking quietly.Kang Xun opened the textbook, and there was only a big "?" on a blank sheet of paper.

Wang Yi took out the pen, drew the same big "!" next to "?", and left.Kang Xun also followed.In the corridors, stairs, and front hall, Kang Xun tried to keep the same speed as Wang Yi, and at the same time smiled as thoughtfully as possible to the oncoming acquaintances.Sometimes Wang Yi has to smile at people like this.Therefore, many people think that they have an appointment, to go on a date or to pick up a mutual friend, in short, they are in a hurry.In this way, Kang Xun and Wang Yi came to the forest park like race walkers.In the protected area, Wang Yi finally stopped.She looked at Kang Xun, but couldn't say a word.She thought her face must be very pale, because her heartbeat made her uncomfortable, as if it was about to jump out of the atrium.

Kang Xun didn't ask Wang Yi any questions right away.He gently pulled Wang Yi's arm, letting her rest on a slanted dead tree.After Wang Yi took a breather, he asked Wang Yi what happened.

"It's okay." Wang Yi replied, "Please go back."

"It has nothing to do with that letter, right?" Kang Xun asked again, but Wang Yi didn't answer, she felt that heartbeat again. "Two days ago, you treated me the same as before. You wanted me to understand that nothing can be changed. Teacher Wang, I understand, but I love you. So, tell me what happened, or I will die of panic of."

"Okay, Kang Xun, let me tell you, there's nothing wrong. Thank you for your concern. Please leave me alone for a while."

"Well, listen, if a person is in trouble, it's not wise to refuse help. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, please think of me first. Please think of my love for you. Love. There are many things I can do for you, many, almost all."

Wang Yi didn't answer.She felt that if Kang Xun didn't leave, she would cry.

"I'm leaving. I hope you can understand. If you tell me what happened, I will feel better." Kang Xun stopped here, waiting for Wang Yi's reaction.Wang Yi didn't respond. "I'll wait for your call." After saying that, he left.

Wang Yi also walked towards his home.The moment Kang Xun turned to leave, Wang Yi felt intensely lonely.She was surprised by the fact that she couldn't find a reliable friend to tell her (him) about it.In the past, when she was in trouble, she always told her husband.Now the trouble is brought by the husband, so what should I do?At this moment, she felt as if she had been living in the palm of Yin Chushi for more than ten years.

She opened the door of the house, and a familiar smell made her sad.Standing in the doorway, she thought, the smell had warmed and comforted her so many times, but it was unreliable.It just has to confuse itself, so that it doesn't see that the cornerstone of this home is built on a piece of duckweed.She felt that the smell, like the home, was deceiving her.

Wang Yi walked into the bedroom and looked at the photo of her and Yin Chushi before they got married.Seeing Yin Chushi's smiling face, the anger in her heart calmed down a little.Suddenly she was glad that she didn't mention this to anyone. Why couldn't it be that Yin Chushi wanted to change a contraceptive method on a whim?Maybe that's the case, but because of a temporary business trip, I forgot to tell her in a hurry.

She felt better when she thought about it, and she felt strong enough to cook dinner again.

eleven(1)
Xiao Qiao and Yin Chushi walked out of the platform one after the other. Yin Chushi didn't ask Xiao Qiao to walk away from him. He knew that if he hinted at Xiao Qiao like this, she would get hurt, but Xiao Qiao also knew that she would walk ahead like this. Yin Chushi would not Catch up, he wished himself so.

Sitting in the taxi, Yin Chushi told the driver Xiao Qiao's address.Xiao Qiao didn't object to seeing her off first. When she got off the car, she took Yin Chushi's leather bag and asked him to come up for a while.Yin Chushi had no choice but to follow her in.

"Do you want to break up with me?" Xiao Qiao asked Yin Chushi immediately after closing the door.

"what happened to you?"

"It's not me, what's wrong with you? You were always restless on the train." Xiao Qiao said.

"You mean how I planned to break up with you on the train?" Yin Chushi smiled, and he hugged Xiao Qiao, "No, I didn't think about it."

"I thought you came out to play with me, and then you planned to alienate me."

"I love you more than before. I know so clearly, I love you, Qiao Qiao." Yin Chushi said and hugged her again.

"I love you too." After Xiao Qiao finished speaking, she turned her face to Yin Chushi, "I know it's not easy for you, but don't throw me away."

"No, no." Yin Chushi was heartbroken by Xiao Qiao's pity, and even thought of divorce.He knew many men at this time who always left their lovers and went back to their wives, no matter where the love was.

"Are you worried about your cousin?" Xiao Qiao asked.

"One thing." Yin Chushi didn't say what he was worried about. This was his nature, and he tried not to share the things he could bear with others, even his lover.

"Don't worry. No matter what happens, I will not run away. I will always stand with you."

"We're almost going to be film actors. I'll go back first." Yin Chushi hugged Xiao Qiao and let go.

"So anxious?" Xiao Qiao was a little jealous.

"Don't learn from unpromising women." Yin Chushi patted Xiao Qiao's cheek.

"I don't want to let you go." Xiao Qiao said and cried.She was like a child who didn't want to go back to boarding school, and wanted to prolong the joy of the reunion. Yin Chushi felt sore in his heart. Time always leaves many traces. He thought that the lingering these days really made them hard to part.Getting him to divorce, at this time, was as difficult as letting him break up with Xiao Qiao.This is the time.He thought of time again.

Standing at the door of the house, Yin Chushi did not immediately knock on the door or open it with a key.He glanced at the night that had just fallen outside through the glass in the corridor of the stairs, and listened to the movements around him.At last he looked at his watch. It was a quarter past seven.Is my peaceful life going to be cut off from this moment?Thinking of this, he knocked hard on the door, as if denying the question just now.No, he really wanted to scream.

No one came to open the door for him.He opened the door with the key.He didn't see a word of Wang Yi in the place where he usually put the note.Xiao Yue is not there either.He thought it was because he hadn't notified the specific time of his return.He walked into the bedroom with the camera bag in the same place he left it.He looked at it with an ominous premonition, he was almost sure that it was opened, and Wang Yi found everything.So it's not accidental that the hostess is not here when there is no one at home after seven o'clock in the evening.

Yin Chushi opened the pocket of the film, and the small box of the condom was still there, but the film was gone.He was as familiar with his film as a soldier was with his bullets.He knew that something that shouldn't have happened had happened.He sat on the ground and smiled.Isn't this ridiculous?It's like a wonderful football game. Before the opening 30 seconds, the audience has not really opened their eyes to see, the ball has been scored. 1:0!

He didn't get up, moved a bit, then sat against the wall, not wanting to move.He felt that his thoughts were like a crazy butterfly flying east and west for a while, completely confused.He thought, what action would Wang Yike take to divorce him and drive him out of here?In the end, he found that he didn't know his wife very well.Except that he was sure that Wang Yi would not go to his unit to make trouble, he couldn't imagine anything else.He also thought about Xiao Qiao, would Wang Yi talk to Xiao Qiao, would Xiao Qiao anger Wang Yi?Finally, closing his eyes, he tried to force the thoughts out of his mind.He thought, whatever should be done.The matter has been done, and the responsibility cannot be avoided.He looked at the space in the darkness, and thought, in the darkest time, people can't see everything, at least he can still see the darkness itself.When the phone rang, he calmly picked up the receiver. "Hello?" he said, "What's the matter, Mom?" It was his mother on the phone.

"When did you come back?"

"Just arrived. Where's Wang Yi?"

"Wang Yi said that she has something to do tonight, and asked me to bring Xiao Yue back."

"What's the matter with her?" Yin Chushi wondered that Wang Yihui had something to do at night.

"Then you should ask your wife. You brought Xiao Yue's rubber shoes, and she said that there will be gym class tomorrow."

"Xiao Yue lives with you tonight?"

"Xiao Yue, your father is back." Yin Chushi could hear the other party through the phone.

"Dad, are you back?" Xiao Yue didn't seem to believe her grandma's words.

"came back."

"Then I'll go home and wish"

"Okay, I'll pick you up." Yin Chushi put down the phone, and all premonitions disappeared.Now that Wang Yi can arrange Xiao Yue to live with grandma, he doesn't know what will happen.

On the way home from Kang Xun, Wang Yi still couldn't believe that this had happened. She actually fell into Kang Xun's arms, even though her lips, her cheeks, her neck, and her hands were reminding her She thought of his hugs and kisses.She also found it all unbelievable.Since the awakening of her love consciousness, she has never experienced anything else except Yin Chushi's embrace.She can sometimes understand through the eyes of the opposite sex that her husband is not the only one who is willing to hug her.But she never gave it much thought.She felt that these men who could look at her like this wanted to embrace women all over the world, so she felt no particular danger of being targeted.In addition, she also felt that the power that haunted her to reject men other than her husband was not in her heart, but in the air above her.She thought maybe this was forbidden by God, so she didn't think much about it.

Now, the impossible happened, and she was completely out of control.When passing by the door of the house, she suddenly decided to go to the Forest Park alone for a while.Regardless of whether there is anyone in the family at this moment, she has to sort out the matter first. Even if it is a crime, she must first figure out her own part of the responsibility, even though she does not know this "responsibility" mean something.

Walking into the forest park, Wang Yi immediately felt fear.She timidly walked a few steps inside, but she didn't see anyone. She stopped, looked at the trees that were connected together in the darkness, and finally got the courage to go a little further in, until she found a chair.She wanted to sit for a while, she was tired.She thought that if she encountered danger here, it must be the messenger sent by God to help her get out of the current predicament.She did lose her way, and for the first time found that the "luck" facing two men was almost all bitterness.

At night the park is filled with the smell of heaven: the smell of fresh trees, and it seems that there is also the smell of stars.She felt that the smell of the stars must be close to the clear river water.She took a few deep breaths, closed her eyes, and the "past events" of a few hours ago rushed towards her face like a quiet breeze in the night.Wang Yi wanted to know how it all started, what made it start?
When she was preparing to make dinner, Teacher Liu called.Another phone call, Wang Yi thought, the phone call was almost the crux of the change in her life.Teacher Liu said that she received a call from Wang Yi's cousin in Longcheng.In order to show her responsible attitude towards Wang Yi, Teacher Liu said that of course she would not give Wang Yi's phone number to a stranger, even though the stranger claimed to be Wang Yi's cousin.Teacher Liu also said, these days there are still people who say that they are the granddaughter of the president of the country?Who can believe who, Wang Yi estimated
(End of this chapter)