12 Mindfulness Lessons Listened to at Tsinghua University

Chapter 17
Life is like a fleeting moment, all of a sudden.No matter how much you fight, you can't take away anything.A person with a body weighing more than 100 kilograms can't enjoy too much.Most of the time, people scramble, get upset, and fight, not because of that thing at all, but because they can't see through it and feel uneasy.There is such a family in my community: there are three brothers in my family. A few years ago, there was a dispute over the ownership of the ancestral house. The words are not speculative, and the appearance is too lazy to do it. Not only are the quarrels turned upside down, but even the title has changed from the previous "brother and brother" to "that person".At that time, their old father was still there, and the old man was seriously ill every day. Everyone said that the second family persuaded, and the third family organized a family meal, but everyone was jealous. Not only did they not listen to good advice, but they also complained The father was eccentric and unfair, etc., the old man was very sad, and finally died of hatred.Later, when one of the old man’s sons talked about this incident with our mutual friends, he said regretfully: “Look now, if we don’t fight for the ancestral house, the three of us can survive. Make a concession first, make your brothers look like enemies, and there will be no family members to reunite during the Chinese New Year..."

I knew that day, why bother?To be a person requires a little tolerance and a little big pursuit.Some people will say: I don't want to fight, but everyone is fighting, even bullying me, can I not fight?Such friends should take a good look at the following short story:

One day, the tiger went to the mosquito and proposed a competition, betting on who could run faster.The tiger said: If I win, you will never drink my blood again.If I lose, you can drink my blood later.Mosquito agreed immediately.As a result, the tiger ran and ran desperately, and was finally exhausted to death.But the mosquito kept flying slowly—it thought it couldn't outrun the tiger anyway, so it simply stopped running.

If you're surrounded by similar mosquitoes right now, don't take it seriously.Be your king of the forest, what if a mosquito bites you?You treat them as rivals, and you will be burdened by them, for animal pests are no more likely to abide by the rules of competition than are human villains.

The best way to repel mosquitoes is some ethical toilet water.Otherwise, you will become a person who fights on the snail's horn all day long, not only living a troubled life, but also having no great prospects.

4.Let it go, heaven and earth

Now the tolerance level of our Chinese people is really short of breath.Crowding is a common phenomenon on buses.If you touch or step on others, quickly say: "I'm sorry!"However, there are many people who can't even say "I'm sorry", so they quarrel with each other, even scuffle, and even beat their heads to the point of bleeding.How did our great nation become like this!

——Ji Xianlin (Master of Chinese Studies, academic leader, graduated from the Department of Western Literature of Tsinghua University)
Tell a true story:

My hometown is in the countryside, people are generally not well-educated, and some local ruffians often bully others.They like to bully the common people, and they also like to challenge their peers to establish their prestige and expand their territory.More than ten years ago, the most successful ruffian in our village drove a newly bought Santana 2000 to catch a temple fair, and encountered the most famous ruffian in the village on a trail in a neighboring village.Ordinarily, a successful ruffian should give in. His car is small and handy, and besides, he is on someone else's territory.But the reason why the successful ruffian is successful is that he has always moved forward bravely and never retreated.In addition, he has long been upset with the famous gangster because of some business matters!So he was determined not to give way.Of course, the famous hooligan would not let go, so the two became deadlocked.After sitting in the car for 10 minutes to no avail, the two jumped out of the car and entered the stage of scolding.The words of the famous gangster inevitably reveal the meaning of "this is our village, please be more honest with me". The successful gangster doesn't like this at all. Under the wheel of the car, if you dare to drive there, you have a talent!" After speaking, he immediately lay down in front of the other party's car.It's a pity that the famous gangster can become a famous gangster because he is not only not a fuel-efficient lamp, but also consumes a lot of fuel-he didn't even hesitate for half a second. With a big kick, the successful ruffian has since become history.Of course, the famous gangster was finally caught by the public security organs after a few months of absconding, and he followed the successful gangster underground, continuing the unfinished war between them.

Similar things may have happened elsewhere, but to a different degree.We all know that Beijing is congested. We all know that the reason for Beijing’s congested traffic is too many vehicles. But according to my observation, when the congested situation is severe, there is often either a car accident or someone fighting at the intersection. If you don’t let me, I won’t let you.In the end, it was either a big fight or asking the traffic police to solve it.Many people have heard such parties reasoning in front of the traffic police: how he has no quality, how he does not abide by traffic regulations, etc., and he is full of foam, but he does not say that he is not at all.It is true that the cause of the incident was that the other party did not abide by the traffic rules, but at the beginning, you gave way and retreated a little bit, and it passed. There are many office workers and off-duty workers who are in a hurry. No wonder the two parties scolded together when encountering such a situation.

Cursing is certainly not right.No matter who is right or wrong, it is not right to scold someone.Swearing at people will only intensify the conflict.It is obviously a small matter, but if one swear word comes out, it will immediately escalate into a brawl, the so-called "disaster comes from the mouth".Of course hitting people is even more wrong.No matter who was hit, who was beaten, or pedestrians who only knew how to watch but not persuade the fight, it is not good. If they miss, the tragedy is often not limited to the two, but also the families and relatives of the two.

Therefore, the ancients said "Let the sea and sky be broad, endure the waves and calm the wind" has eternal meaning.There are not a few people who are good at fighting and fighting in Chinese history, but there are also a lot of people who are kind enough to leave their names in history.Let's take a look at two classic models:

Yang Bing, a native of the Northern Song Dynasty, has a poem titled "Approving the Former Residence of the Children and Disciples". This poem comes from a true story:

Yang Bing was once an official to the Ministry of Rites, and returned to his hometown to live in leisure in his old age.One day, when Yang Bing was studying, several of his nephews ran in and said angrily, "It's no good, uncle, our old house has been occupied by neighbors a lot, you must come forward and never let him go!"

After hearing this, Yang Bing asked without haste: "Don't worry, sit down first and talk slowly. You said the neighbors invaded our old house?"

"Yes." A nephew replied.

Yang Bing asked again: "Is the neighbor's house bigger? Or is our house bigger?" The nephew didn't know what he meant, and said, "Of course our house is bigger."

Yang Bing asked again: "The neighbors have occupied some old houses, how does it affect us?" A nephew replied: "It's nothing to say, but they are unreasonable, so we shouldn't let them go!"

"Hehe!" Yang Bin laughed lightly.After laughing, he turned around, pointed to the fallen leaves outside the window, and asked his nephews: "When the leaves grow on the tree, the branch belongs to it. In autumn, the leaves turn yellow and fall to the ground. What will the leaves think?" "The nephews couldn't figure out the reason.Yang Bing had no choice but to explain to them: "I'm such an old man, I'm going to die sooner or later; you also have a day to grow old and a day to die. What's the use of fighting for such a little homestead?"

The nephews understood Yang Bing's reasoning, and felt unwilling: "We were going to sue him, and the certificate has been written." After speaking, a nephew took out the certificate from his arms and handed it to Yang Bing, who took it in his hand , turned around, picked up the writing brush on the table, and wrote a poem on it:

My neighbors invade me and I follow Iraq, after all, I have to think about it.

Try to look at the base of Hanguang Temple, the autumn wind and autumn grass are leaving.

After writing, Yang Bing said to his nephews again: "What I mean is that you should be more self-interested in life, and learn to take a step back when things happen, and don't care about everything." The nephews just gave up.

According to the research of a litigation expert, in the vast rural areas, the most likely to cause disputes is the homestead issue.Many families are often beaten to death because of a "drip" problem.Because in the eyes of rural people, the homestead does not "belong to the country and the people" as written in the "Constitution", but belongs to himself, and can be passed on to his children and grandchildren, and passed on forever.It's a pity that anyone with a little historical experience knows that the more you want to pass it on forever, the less it will last long. The Great Qin Empire, which died in the second generation, is the best example.

In fact, many people have ignored the fact that "a general can run a horse, and a prime minister can punt a boat." The ability of Yang Bing, Zhang Ying and others to hold high positions and govern the country depends on their talents, and even more so. It depends on their tolerance, long-sightedness, know how to give way, and disdain to fight.

5.to let people is to let oneself
Due to the pressure of cruel competition in modern society, the human heart has become a "wolf heart", and the flesh heart has become an "iron heart".Do you know what is last elimination?It's the rules of the forest.Animals run desperately to protect themselves, leaving the slowest one to the wolf, who eats it.When the rules of the forest are applied to people, doesn't the human heart become a "wolf heart"?Everyone is desperately trying to expand their market share. When the cake remains the same, they are taking other people's food for themselves.Competition has penetrated into people's bones, which makes people annoyed and their mentality deteriorates.And the sunny mentality and tolerant virtue can turn the "wolf heart" and "iron heart" into "benevolent heart", can create family happiness, team harmony, and can increase your life expectancy by at least two years.

——Wu Weiku (Professor of Tsinghua University)
There is a fable in England:

There is a single-plank bridge in a certain town, which is so narrow that only one person can pass at a time.One day, when a gentleman was crossing a single-plank bridge, he met a pregnant woman just a few steps away. The gentleman turned around politely and returned to the bridge, letting the pregnant woman cross the bridge.Then the gentleman walked onto the bridge again, and when he reached the middle of the bridge, he met a woodcutter carrying firewood. Without saying a word, the gentleman returned to the bridge and let the woodcutter cross the bridge.This time the gentleman didn't dare to go on the bridge rashly. He waited for the people on the single-plank bridge to finish before he hurried on the bridge.However, just as he was about to reach the bridge, a farmer pushing a wheelbarrow came in front of him.The gentleman didn't want to look back this time. He took off his hat and saluted the farmer: "Sir, you see I'm about to reach the end of the bridge, can you let me go first?" Didn't you see me pushing the cart?" The words were not speculative, and the two started arguing.At this time, a small boat floated up the river, and a pastor was sitting on the boat, and the two asked the pastor to judge for them.

The pastor looked at the farmer and asked him, "Is it because you are in a hurry for not giving in?"

The farmer replied: "I'm really in a hurry. I'm going to the market. The market will be gone when it's late!"

The pastor said: "Since you are in a hurry to go to the market, why don't you give way to the gentleman as soon as possible? You only need to take a few steps back, and the gentleman will pass by. Once the gentleman passes, can't you cross the bridge early?"

The farmer knew he was in the wrong and didn't say a word.

The pastor turned his head and asked the gentleman, "Why do you ask the farmer to make way for you? Is it because you are approaching the bridge?"

(End of this chapter)