12 Mindfulness Lessons Listened to at Tsinghua University

Chapter 33: This and That (3)
Once, a literary friend helped me do some word processing work in a typesetting software. Since his computer skills were far inferior to his character, he made an unforgivable mistake-putting a very important paragraph deleted.I pointed to that mistake and said, no matter how hard you work, knock it up.My friend said, why did I have to knock it up, and I just "regret" it continuously?I said that you don’t know something, this software is different from the WORD we usually use, you can only “regret” one step, and you can’t “regret” continuously.When my friend was annoyed, I suddenly felt emotional: Our life is not like this - there is no regret button, no regret medicine!

Indeed, there is no regret button in life, because life is not a set program.

There is a saying in the northern rural areas: If you knew about the urine on the kang, you would have slept in the sieve.Similarly, the British who don't know what a kang is also has a common saying: "Don't cry over spilled milk".Frustration is inevitable in life, because life is nothing but frustration.In other words, half of life is frustration.If you always worry about the lost opportunities, wrong things, and irreversible serious consequences, it is clear that you are making trouble with yourself and looking for trouble.In the words of Westerners, many things are beyond our control, and many mistakes are God's mistakes.In the Chinese language, that's called God's eyes closed.Taking a step back, so what if it was really our fault?Don't make mistakes if possible.If you make a mistake, forget it completely.

Almost all Christians know the allusion of "Noah's Ark": After God created everything in the world and Adam and Eve, he made them a paradise in Eden in the east, and asked them to repair and guard the garden, but Eve was tempted by the devil. , ate the forbidden fruit with Adam, committed the "original sin", and was expelled from the Garden of Eden.

Adam lived for 930 years, and he and Eve had countless children, gradually spreading all over the earth.But since their eldest son Cain killed his younger brother, human beings have kicked off the prelude to crime.God regretted seeing this very much, and decided to launch a flood to destroy human beings.But he has a devout believer—Noah, God wanted him to survive, so he asked him to prepare an ark, and put a pair of all the creatures in the world in the ark, and asked him to sail on February 2th. He escaped by boat, and repeatedly warned him not to look back at the village when he fled.Unexpectedly, on the way to escape, Noah's wife couldn't help but glanced back, and immediately turned into a stone statue.Noah and his three sons and daughter-in-law ran into the ark.After a loud bang, the flood flooded everywhere, submerging everything...

The reason why I retell this biblical story here is to use it to warn you: no matter how painful or beautiful the past is, it has become history.We have no ability to forget them all, but we also have no ability to change those unsatisfactory ones.Now that you have been lucky enough to escape to today, don't look back.Otherwise, our life is doomed to become a rigid stone statue.

Former British Prime Minister Lloyd George knew this well.He has a very strange habit of closing the door on him casually.Once, he and his friends were walking in the mansion. Every time they passed a door, George always closed the door.

The friend was puzzled: "Do you have to turn them all off?"

"Oh, of course," said George, smiling. "I've spent my whole life closing the door behind me. It's something I have to do. You know? When you close the door, you leave the past behind." After that, whether it's a beautiful achievement or a frustrating mistake, then you can start again and move forward."

"Close the door behind you and leave the past behind", what a classic!History is not like smoke. We must keep in mind the lessons of yesterday, but we must not let it become a burden.Tomorrow will be a new day. Forgive yourself, be considerate of yourself, let go of all the sadness, pain, humiliation, and mistakes in the past, pack them up and seal them up, so that your tomorrow will be full of hope.

There are no ifs in life.Regardless of whether the status quo is good or bad, you must first recognize it. This is the prerequisite for making the good better and making the bad worse even if it cannot be better.Dale Carnegie once described in the book "The Weakness of Human Nature" that when he first started his business, he opened an adult education class in Missouri. After his success, he quickly opened many branches in the United States. He didn't know financial management, and as the months passed, he didn't get anything in return.Although he didn't lose any money, Carnegie was still very distressed.He kept complaining to himself, "I wish I had thought about it more at the beginning", and he couldn't get out of this bad state.Later, Carnegie ran into his teacher George Johnson. After the teacher learned of Carnegie's experience, he persuaded him and said: "Yes, the milk was spilled and leaked. What should I do? Should I look at the spilled milk and cry? Do something else? Remember, the spilled milk has become a reality, and it is impossible to put it back into the bottle. The only thing we can do is to learn from the lesson and forget about these unpleasant things.” The teacher’s words were enlightening, Carnegie The troubles he felt disappeared immediately, and he became excited and re-invested in the career he loved.

There are too many helplessness in life, and some helplessness is far from being changed by hard work and wisdom.Those who should come cannot escape; those who should go cannot be kept.Life is too cruel and cold, and there will be no change because of a small person, but life also makes us have to learn to be strong and move forward bravely.The past is always painful, so why dwell on it?If you don't want to continue to torture yourself, you have to walk out of the shadows, stand in the sunshine, look forward and never look back.

The Chinese often say that one misstep will result in eternal hatred.In fact, this sentence is only applicable to those who are devastated, unable to bear the blow, and unwilling to give themselves a chance.At all times and in all over the world, there are countless examples of prodigal sons turning back.There is no regret button or delete button in life, but there is a way to turn back in life. As long as you are willing to turn back and break up with your past self, you will be able to walk a path that even impresses you.

6.struggle while enjoying

What is the purpose of man coming into this world?When I asked this question in the Tsinghua MBA class, some people said that I came to this world to play; some said that I came to this world to eat, drink and have fun.I told them that this kind of answer is correct. We came into this world to eat well, drink well, play well and have fun, right?In the past, we criticized this view, but now we find that no matter what happens, it is to make everyone happy.Aristotle said that the essence of life lies in the pursuit of happiness, and there are two ways to make life happy: first, find the time that makes you happy and increase it; second, find the time that makes you unhappy and reduce it.

——Wu Weiku (Professor of Tsinghua University)
Song Qi was a romantic poet in the Northern Song Dynasty. He and his brother Song Xiang were collectively called "Second Song Dynasty".According to historical records, when the Er Song Dynasty was young, his family was in decline, and sometimes he had to eat pickles and drink porridge to survive.One winter, when the two were still studying in Anlu, a few classmates suddenly came to visit. At that time, Er Song was so shy that he had to scrape off a tael of silver wrapped in the scabbard of an ancestral sword to entertain the classmates.While eating, Song Qi joked: "This time we will eat the scabbard, and next time we will eat the sword." Later, the two brothers entered high school at the same time, Song Xiang has been a prime minister, and Song Qi has been a Hanlin bachelor.Song Xiang is a person who does not forget his roots, even if he is a prime minister, his life is very simple.But Song Qi changed his character completely. One year during the Yuan Festival, Song Xiang heard that his younger brother was prostitution and drinking in the city, so he immediately sent his servants to convey his words of reproach: "My husband asked me to pass a message to you: Now you The lantern-burning banquet is extremely extravagant, I don’t know if you still remember the days when we drank porridge and ate pickles together in the state school in Anlu?” Song Qi laughed and said, “Go and repay my brother quickly. Why do we drink porridge and eat pickles together?"

Of course, the purpose is to get high-ranking officials to sit, ride horses, ask for a few concubines, and buy more property.Although this statement is not on the table, many people still think so and do the same today.

There is no doubt that people should strive.However, after a person has struggled, whether he should enjoy it or not has always been a sensitive topic.I don’t know about other places, but I only talk about my hometown in Hebei. When I was young, no matter whether a family was rich or poor, as long as they made dumplings at every turn, they would definitely be regarded by the neighbors as "prodigal", "delicious and lazy", etc.

According to my amateur research, this is due to geography and climate.In most areas of Hebei, crops are usually harvested three times in two years. If you go further north, such as the Northeast, most crops can only be harvested once a year.And to the south, not to mention far away, but to say that my lover's hometown, Hubei, can reach two crops of rice every year.When I first went to Hubei, what surprised me the most was that vegetables can grow there in winter!Don't think this is a trivial matter. In the past and even now, most winter vegetables in northern regions are nothing more than cabbage, radish and potatoes.As for food, food and clothing would still be the only problem if it weren't for the fact that people could come out to work and earn some money during the years of reform and opening up.Because of the bad weather, only that kind of grain can be produced every year, and it is inevitable that there will be a shortage of food if you keep saving, let alone "delicious and lazy".

However, today, when people's living standards have been greatly improved, similar practices still commonly exist in our hometown, especially some middle-aged and elderly people.They are reluctant to eat and wear, for fear that one day the family will run out of food.But the result of doing so is often that the body has problems due to lack of nutrition, saving rations, but spending money instead.

Of course, this partial phenomenon is not worth mentioning in the tide of extravagance of the people across the country.I am not against thrift, only against those who save as much as save.Life requires struggle, but also needs to enjoy life.

The famous philosopher Zhou Guoping also said: "If a person is not forced by life when he is young, he only knows how to endure hardships and refuses to enjoy, and when he becomes old and weak, even if he becomes a master, but loses the ability to enjoy, then what is the point? What's the point?"

However, there are not a few people who are boring in life.I just know such a person—Boss Zhang, who lived and slept with his wife, was busy day and night, opened a small company in Beijing, and worked hard to save more than [-] yuan.During dinner that day, my wife, who had been in Beijing for three years, suddenly suggested that I really wanted to see the Great Wall, or go boating in the Summer Palace.Boss Zhang immediately nodded and agreed: "Okay, I'll go tomorrow." But before he finished speaking, the phone rang, and a big customer introduced by a friend told Boss Zhang on the phone that after inspecting him, the company decided to have a long-term relationship with him. Cooperation, the first batch of large orders have been placed, and it needs to be completed as soon as possible with quality and quantity guaranteed!Putting down the phone, Boss Zhang looked at his wife with questioning eyes. His wife has always supported him, so he hurriedly said, "Let's wait until this part is over. When we make a lot of money, we will go abroad to see the pyramids and swim in the Mediterranean Sea." No What comes to mind is that Boss Zhang's business has been booming since then, and of course he has made a lot of money, but until his wife was killed in a sudden car accident last year, he didn't spare time to travel with his wife.

Dale Carnegie said: "The saddest thing in human nature is that we all like to dream of a magical rose garden in the distance, but we don't know that there are delicate roses blooming outside our windows today." Boss Zhang and his wife are like this.They are always habitually postponing happiness and making concessions for never-ending success.

Eileen Chang said: You need to be famous as early as possible.We don't have to expand it to know what it means.Needless to say, I firmly believe that if I wait until my seventies and eighties to become famous and successful, then my life will be very regrettable.I've never been the enjoyment type, I just don't abuse myself.

When it comes to the difference between Chinese and Americans, what people like to quote most is the well-known story about the difference between an old Chinese lady and an old American lady.Objectively speaking, it has been proven by countless people that consuming tomorrow’s happiness in advance, eating pickles as a house slave, cursing oil prices as a car slave, and swearing at your conscience as a card slave, is not very happy.But it is not a blessing to put all the happiness in the last line of the last page of life.

It is often said that life is a journey of hardship.In fact, not necessarily, the key depends on whether you know how to live and whether you have emotional appeal.Some people always intentionally or unintentionally evade happiness on purpose, and regard "suffering for joy" and "sweetness after bitterness" as the only value orientation in life.We have also said before that to endure hardship is to eat tonic, and to enjoy suffering is a state. However, there are sufferings and joys in life. We must suffer the hardships we should suffer, and we should not avoid it when we enjoy the blessings.Why must life be turned into a process of constant self-torture?

I always think that those who don't know "to be happy in life" can't be optimistic when they are frustrated.To be a human being, one has to be a person who has experienced hardships and enjoyed blessings.The best life is to struggle and enjoy at the same time.

(End of this chapter)