12 Mindfulness Lessons Listened to at Tsinghua University

Chapter 8: Fortune and Misfortune (1)
1.Flowers fall to bear fruit
These 5 characters (pain and happiness) are the name of an album by Qi Qin.It was originally a love song, but it is not here. I think it is the epitome of Chinese people's mentality during the reform and opening up.Because in the process of reform, everyone is experiencing pain and joy.In the process of development, we lose this and lose that, it feels very painful, but when you look back, you will find the rut of progress, and you have gained a lot, so you are moving forward in this pain and happiness.I couldn't find a more suitable word to summarize my observations and conclusions in the journalism industry over the past ten years. These five words are the most appropriate, so I appropriated them.

——Bai Yansong (host of CCTV, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)
Let's start with "Huanxisha" written by Yan Shu, a poet of the Song Dynasty:

A glass of wine with a new word, an old pavilion in the weather last year. When does the sunset go back?

There is no choice but to let the flowers fall, and it seems that Yan once returned. Small garden fragrant path wandering alone.

Reluctantly, the flowers fall away - this is the finishing touch of this poem, and it also expresses the inexplicable melancholy of countless sentimental readers.If it is evaluated only from the perspective of literature and art, it is undoubtedly a masterpiece among masterpieces.But never use it to guide practical life.After all, life is not Lin Daiyu, who will not be beautiful because of sadness.

Recently, I have gained a lot from reading, such as Du Hongjuan's "Braised History" written very insightfully.For example, when writing about Tang people and Song people, the author said:

As for the writing of "Fengyue" written by Tang people, it can be said to be invincible:

Persuading you not to hesitate the golden garments, and persuading you to take care of your youth.

The flowers can be folded straight and must be folded.

Look at the Song people's "wind and moon" again, "Yangliuan, dawn wind and waning moon. Even if there are thousands of styles, who can tell them?" This is a bit depressing.Although there is no difference between the two, the degree of comfort cannot be compared.

……

Tang people wrote poems, rhyme or not, deliberation or not, is not the most important thing. "People in the past recalled going by the Yellow Crane, but the Yellow Crane Tower is vacant here." "The bird stayed in the tree by the pond, and the monk knocked on the door under the moon." It's a pity that Jia Dao racked his brains and became the school of bitter singing.The most carefree, that is Li Bai:
The water of the Yellow River comes up from the sky, rushes to the sea and never returns.If you are proud of life, you must have fun, and don't let the golden cup be empty to the moon.I am born to be useful, and I will come back after all the money is gone.

What's even more incredible is that Du Hongjuan's friends also discovered that men in the Song Dynasty actually loved flowers!It is written in the book:

For Dai Hua, men are more active than women.Shi Yun:
The officials wear flowers and stand at the north, the servants enter the Banqi card, the emperor visits the Jiying Hall, all the officials thank the flowers and worship again, and then sit down after worshiping again.

Flowers can also express love here.Song Zhenzong loved Kou Zhun, put flowers on his head with his own hands, and thoughtfully said: "Kou Zhun was young, and it was time for hairpin flowers to drink." Everyone looked at it with envy. Being loved by the emperor once, this life How brilliant it should be.

I still remember an article I learned when I was in school. The article mentioned: "The ancients wept sadly when they saw the lack of moon and flowers." Among them, if the ancients were not Tang or Song, they must be Song people.

Thousands of words are condensed into one sentence: This world does not need so much sentimentality.

Mountains and rivers cannot carry too much sorrow, whether the past is sad or happy, whether the current situation is good or bad, people have to move forward and look in hope.

There is a good song: "When the sun goes down, it will still climb up tomorrow morning. The flowers will bloom the same next year after they wither..." When the flowers bloom, you can enjoy them to your heart's content. When the flowers wither, you have to adapt to this natural law.What's so sentimental?
However, the lyrics at the end of this song are also sentimental: "Other things, other things, my young bird will not come back..." It seems that sentimentality is not the patent of Song people, and happiness is not just talking about it Simple.

It should be admitted that it is not something to be thankful for whose youth bird is gone and whose youth flower withers.But the reason why youth is called youth is that it is short and perishable.The reason why people love flowers is nothing more than because it is precious and rare.All things that are commonplace will inevitably make people fall into aesthetic fatigue after a long time. As flowers are, so are people.

There is a book with a very good title - "Because of Pain, It's Called Youth".In fact, it is not only youth that hurts?Everyone's life is a process of constantly fighting against pain.The difference is that some people overcome the pain, and some people are occupied by the pain, dying of pain.The difference is that some are strong and some are fragile; some are open-minded and some are repressed.

Because of pain, it is called life.Even if a stubborn stone is turned into powder, it will not feel the slightest pain.Even if a piece of dead wood is reduced to ashes, it will not have the slightest sadness.

Pain is a feeling of happiness that only sentient beings have.

Nietzsche said: Only extreme pain can make us fully enlightened.Zhou Guoping said: If you are not frustrated, you don't understand life.Fortune and misfortune depend on each other in life. Unless you are frustrated, you will be proud, and flowers will bloom when they wither.But the meaning of a flower is not in blooming, but in fruiting.If the flowers don't fall, how can it bear fruit?In this way, what the ancients said, "Don't be surprised by favor or disgrace, watch the flowers bloom and fall in front of the court; stay and stay, and watch the sky cloud roll and cloud calm" not only reflects open-mindedness, but also entrusts joy.

Taking a step back, even if the flowers may not bear fruit, we have already bloomed, so what is there to regret?A man who is as successful as Yan Shu, a prime minister, and a leader in the literary world, has everything that one expects to achieve. His son Yan Jidao is also very competitive, but after drinking a few cups of yellow soup and listening to a few ditties, he can't help becoming sensitive.

What is "the flower of helplessness"?It's just boring.

2.All "unfortunate" luck
Looking back at the road I have traveled, I found that the vastness of this world is hard for me to imagine.Many difficulties that were thought to be very big at the time, now seem to be small things; many things that were considered difficult at the time are now just topics after dinner.

——Li Yanhong (Chairman and CEO of Baidu, who gave a speech at Tsinghua University)
The Internet age is an era in which talents emerge in large numbers, and the birth of each talent is accompanied by the birth of a new word.If we do not go online for a few days, we will not be able to keep up with the times, and we will not be able to understand what netizens say.For example, "cup utensils", if someone interprets it as a utensil for holding water, it will inevitably be laughed at.

"Tragedy" comes from "tragedy", but the meaning it expresses is far from the depth of tragedy in the traditional sense, but generally refers to all unsatisfactory, unsatisfactory or failures in life.Zhang Ailing has a famous saying: "Life is a gorgeous robe covered with lice", and netizens say: "Life is a coffee table full of cups" - overtime, cups; being late, cups If wages are deducted, that is even more of a tragedy.As for what to use to express the real "tragedy" when it happens, we don't know.

A word similar to "trouble" is "sorrowful reminder", literally, it means "too miserable to make people cry", but in fact, the meaning it expresses is far from that level, but generally refers to dissatisfaction, Dissatisfaction, failure, sadness, remorse, etc.

Once, I chatted with a friend about this phenomenon, and the friend pointed out sharply: "Most Martian languages ​​such as 'cups' come from the post-80s and post-90s. These people live in honeypots and live in cream, like ancient times. Like some of the "Gong Erdai" in China, they don't know the sufferings of the people, but only know their own feelings, so their resistance to pain is naturally relatively low. Don't look at them as a tragedy, but in fact they are in a blessing I don't know luck."

The special survey titled "Are you happy" conducted by CCTV not long ago provided us with evidence from the side: Let me ask, with so many interviewees, is there no one who is happy?
There is no need to emphasize that modern people are under a lot of pressure, but high pressure does not mean unhappiness, let alone tragedy or sadness.

I think back to the beginning of the founding of the People's Republic of China, the country was poor and white, and it would be nice to have something to eat. In the words of foreigners, "Chinese people can't even wear pants", but people at that time were so contented, so optimistic, and so happy.It is precisely with this spirit that we have developed two bombs and one satellite that have impressed the world, and we have gained a firm foothold in this world where the jungle preys on the jungle.

There is a joke that during the three-year natural disaster period, Chairman Mao called the Soviet leader: We need food and bread, please send them.Not long after, China and the Soviet Union turned against each other, and the Soviet side hurriedly replied: Please tighten your belt.Chairman Mao called again: Please send your trouser waistband.You don't have to take this story seriously, but even those who have never experienced it can imagine the difficulty at that time.According to an old neighbor of mine, in the early [-]s, people ate up even the most unpalatable Ailanthus leaves in order to fill their stomachs.Nowadays, people eat high protein, drink soft drinks, and suffer from affluence, but the habit of "holding up the bowl to eat meat and putting down the bowl to scold mothers" has not changed.

Before the reform and opening up, people of four generations lived under the same roof, and a family of ten or more people crowded in the adobe bungalows. Not only did they not feel cramped, but they enjoyed themselves happily and laughed constantly.But now, when people live in dwellings for a period of time, they feel more miserable than the end of the world.

Schopenhauer once said: "To judge whether a person is happy, you don't have to ask how he can be happy, but why he is troubled. If the things that trouble him are ordinary and small things, it means that he is actually very happy. Because A truly unfortunate person is not in the mood to notice those trivial things."

Indeed, the real misfortune is something that people can't bear to talk about, and most of the people who can talk about it are "sorry for new words".The example of the British pastor Nick is the best proof.Nick once gave a speech at Tsinghua University, and the title of his speech was "No hands, no feet, no worries".Others stand on the podium when they speak, but Nick can only "stand" on the table when he speaks-he has no feet and no hands. For such a person, just being able to live without worries is already admirable. What's even more commendable is that Nick has also achieved many things that normal people can hardly do.He has obtained two master's degrees so far, and he also serves as the president of two organizations. He has traveled all over 26 countries. Without hands or feet, he can take care of children, write, type, draw, play football (as a goalkeeper), Diving, playing musical instruments...

Actually, does a person like Nick need a speech?His presence alone is enough to move and inspire everyone.

Australian John Curtis is also an inspirational master with a strong body and a strong heart. One night in May 2004, in the thunderous applause of more than 5 audience members, Curtis put his palms on the ground and "walked" step by step to the rostrum of Qingdao Tiantai Stadium.Over the past few years, he has traveled to more than 12000 countries and regions in the world with his palms, and is known as "the world's most famous speech master for the disabled".In addition, he is the champion of Para Tennis all over Oceania, he is a good swimmer, and he can even drive a car with only two hands.

"Hello everyone!" After greeting, Curtis picked up the mineral water bottle on the table, and said while gesticulating: "I was a tragedy from birth. At that time, I was only the size of a mineral water bottle, and my legs were deformed. The doctor asserted I wouldn't have survived that day, but I've lived to this day, I'm still alive at 35, and I travel a lot around the world..."

Curtis spoke in one breath for half an hour, during which the applause from the audience almost never stopped.Finally, Curtis suddenly raised something in his hand and said: "I am very grateful for the warm hospitality of my friends in Qingdao. The hotel I stayed in is in very good condition, but there is one thing that makes me feel at a loss. It's on my bedside." After speaking, Curtis threw what he said to the audience, and it turned out to be a pair of disposable slippers.

The auditorium was silent.

"If you can wear slippers, you are lucky, you have no right to complain! Not everyone can wear slippers!" Curtis said loudly.A series of applause erupted immediately in the auditorium, followed by prolonged applause.

Compared to Curtis, do you have any right to complain?If not, learn to cherish it!

3.Waiting for the flowers to bloom, waiting for the full moon

I have always believed that Tsinghua University is better than Peking University boys because Tsinghua University boys can learn to wait!This is why Tsinghua has produced far more national leaders than Peking University.A man needs to be alone, if you can't bear loneliness, it only means that your heart is not strong enough!
——Yu Minhong (Founder of New Oriental Education Group, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)

In ancient times, there was a king in the west, and his country was vast and powerful.He married a queen who was as beautiful as a fairy, and the two loved each other, singing in harmony.Regrettably, the good times didn't last long. The queen got terminally ill, and the medicine and stones were ineffective, and finally passed away.

The king was distraught, he held a grand funeral for his beloved wife, and made a coffin for his beloved wife with the best wood in the world.Then he ordered that the coffin be placed in the hall, so that he could see the queen every day, accompany the queen, and recall the good times in the past.

After several months passed, the king felt that the scenery around the hall was too monotonous and did not match the queen's face, so he ordered people to build a large garden around it, and searched for exotic flowers and plants from all over the country to fill it.

After the garden was built, the king looked it over and felt that there was still something missing, so he ordered people to draw water from the river and built a wonderful lake.

After the lake was built, pavilions were built.

Later, the king invited a first-class sculptor to make exquisite sculptures...

Until his twilight years, the king was still thinking hard about how to make this peerless garden more perfect.

Finally one day, his eyes fell on the queen's coffin, and he felt that it was too incongruous in such a garden, so he waved his hand and said, "Move it out! Bury it properly."

This is time, it can take away everything, change everything, and heal all pain.

But time has its own timetable. Even if tomorrow is the Spring Festival that the people of the whole country look forward to, it will not advance a bit; if you are sinking in the sea of ​​suffering, it will not take pity on you and go a little faster.

Everything will pass, but please give it a little time.Life requires patience, and facing unsatisfactory life requires patience even more.

People have joys and sorrows, and the moon has cloudy and sunny waxing and waning.It is the normal thinking of every normal person to like good things and hate bad things, like full moons and hate missing moons.Although some people like the crescent moon, most of them are relative to the starry sky.

When there are flowers blooming, there will be flowers withering; when there is a full moon, there will be moon waning; every month there are always a few days where you can't see your fingers.This is a natural law, a law that cannot be changed by exhausting all human wisdom. No matter how much you don't want to see these things, and no matter how much effort you put in, it is futile.But on the other hand, the flowers will bloom again after they wither, and the moon will eventually be full one day. What we need to do is to keep calm during the process.

At a party, a friend told everyone a story: a female painter met an old lady selling flowers on the street.The old lady was dressed in shabby clothes and looked very weak, but her face was peaceful and she looked very happy.

The female painter picked a flower and said, "You look very happy."

"Why not? Everything is so beautiful."

"You can really see through troubles." The female painter said casually.

The old lady's answer surprised her: "Jesus was crucified on Friday, which was the worst day in the world, but Easter will be three days later. So, when I encounter misfortune, I will wait for three days, and everything will be fine." It's back to normal."

"Waiting for three days" - what an ordinary but philosophical way of life.Although after three days, life may not be arranged according to our expectations, but leaving behind troubles and pains is undoubtedly the eternal premise of fully reaping happiness.Give happiness three days, give happiness a chance, then "sadness is also tears with a smile".

There is a similar story in Buddhist scriptures:
One hot summer day, Shakyamuni Buddha took his attendants on the road of propagating the Dharma. The sun was very strong. It was almost noon, and the Buddha was very hungry and thirsty, so he said to the waiter: "I remember there is a small river not far away. some water."

The waiter immediately took the bowl of water and left.Naturally, the Buddha was not mistaken. After walking not far, the waiter found the small river.But just as he bent down to fetch water, several fast horses suddenly came running behind him, and the passengers on the horses rode across the small river.

The waiter shook his head angrily, turned back to the Buddha with helplessness, and said: "The river water has been polluted by people, so I can't drink it. I know there is a stream in front of it. The water is very clear. It's not too far from here, about two The hour will come."

The Buddha said: "We are very close to this small river. Besides, I am already thirsty. Why do I have to walk for two hours to find the small stream in front? To get some water from that little river."

"The water is so dirty, how can I drink it? Do you want me to make another trip for nothing?" the waiter argued.

The Buddha said: "Believe me, go obediently, you will definitely not run in vain!"

The waiter reluctantly took the alms bowl and ran towards the small river again. This time, when he came to the small river, the river was already calm, so clear and pure, and the silt had long since disappeared.

(End of this chapter)