12 Mindfulness Lessons Listened to at Tsinghua University

Chapter 9: Fortune and Misfortune (2)
Our life is like the small river in the story. It cannot be calm forever. When the monsoon blows, the flood hits, or when it is muddy and filthy due to human factors, we should be like the waiter in the story, Learn to calm down and wait.In many cases, this is not the best way, but it is the only way out.

So, does this mean that waiting is indispensable in life and must be waited?not necessarily.Careful readers have already discovered that waiting for a lifetime is waiting, waiting for one month is waiting, waiting for three days is waiting, waiting for a moment is still waiting. In many cases, the meaning of waiting is not how long you wait, but whether you can have an epiphany; , Waiting is still a verb, some consummation cannot be waited for, it requires us to accumulate, grow and surpass constantly in the process of waiting.

4.Get angry even when you're hurt
During the SARS period, I met a female patient during an interview in the hospital. Holding a hanging bottle, she looked at the camera and pointed at her. She turned around and said to the doctor: "Shoot again, I will take off the mask and kiss you." We laughed . Shortly after 911/[-], Americans began to do entertainment talk shows, holding back tears and laughing. I didn't understand it at the time, but now I understand: When people can still laugh, it is not easy to be defeated.

——Chai Jing (host of CCTV program, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)

December 2012, 12 was the last day before the end of the world, according to the Mayans (rumour-mongers to be precise).Recently, the Internet has been full of reports about the signs of the "end of the world", such as the mass suicide of thousands of squids in California, the mass suicide of more than a hundred dolphins in Iran, the mass suicide of 20 pilot whales in New Zealand, etc., without any scientific knowledge , it's really easy to be shocked.

In fact, the ancients pointed out a long time ago: "When a comet appears, the whale dies." Whenever a comet appears in the sky, the whales will be stranded on the beach and die in batches, but this is by no means suicide, but because the appearance of the comet has changed A "geomagnetic storm" occurred in the earth's magnetic field, which affected the echolocation system of the migrating whale, causing it to make a "directional" error, mistaking the shoal for the deep sea.

Professor Fu Peirong of Tamkang University in Taiwan held the above point of view when he gave a special speech entitled "Reshaping the Culture of the Heart" at Tsinghua University.Professor Fu also added: "Suicide is an individual behavior. As long as it is suicide, it cannot be connected with the collective. Animals cannot meet the conditions for suicide, it is controlled by instinct. All creatures, including animals, do not commit suicide. Only human beings can."

indeed.Only when people can't think clearly and can't figure it out, can they think about everything once and for all, and animals don't even have the basic thinking ability, so why can't they think about it or figure it out?
For example, we often say that "ants are greedy for life". In fact, ants don't know what greed is for life. Low-level creatures like ants have neither thinking ability nor need thinking ability. All their behaviors come from instinct and follow instinct.

Man is the spirit of creation, we always say so proudly.We are also entitled to claim that.But while the Creator bestowed wisdom and spirituality on human beings, he also took away some things along the way.No scientist has ever found that any wild animal will suffer from depression because of lovelorn, and no pet owner has ever found that any pet commits suicide because of loneliness.Only human beings, only those with high intelligence, will be devastated when they are frustrated, and will be in pain when they are injured.

People often envy those with higher IQ. In fact, their lives are far from being as comfortable as we imagined. On the contrary, their troubles are far more than ordinary people, which is determined by their well-developed brain cells.With a high IQ and overdeveloped nerves, people will think about things, and if they think too much, it is inevitable that they will not be able to figure it out.Therefore, such people have a correspondingly higher suicide rate.

The famous poet Bei Dao said: Poets should live as wild beasts do.So how should the beast live?Dale Carnegie said: "No bull will be jealous that a cow mates with another bull. We should be like animals, and live a simple life." Unfortunately, many poets in real life live too complicated, too heavy.

——Give every river/every mountain/a warm name/stranger, I also bless you/may you have a bright future/may your lover be married in the end/may you be happy in this world/and I only wish/facing the sea/spring blossoms...

What do you think of this poem?Of course it is very good - this is Haizi's classic.

——The night gave me black eyes, but I use them to find the light.

How do you feel about this poem?Of course it is still very good - it is written by the famous poet Gu Cheng.

Regrettably, whether it is a master or a famous master, they have all become history: in 1989, Haizi committed suicide by lying on the rails in Shanhaiguan; in 1994, Gu Cheng committed suicide after killing his wife at his home in New Zealand.

Before and after, more poets committed suicide: in 1987, the female poet Tadpole committed suicide; in 1990, the poet Xiang Xiang committed suicide; in 1991, the poet Gome committed suicide; in 1996, the poet Xu Chi committed suicide; in 2007, the poet Yu Yu committed suicide... It is said that the great poet Li Bai also committed suicide by drowning himself in order to catch the moon. Although the plot is romantic, he committed suicide after all.

If we look at the entire literary world, there are even more suicides: Qu Yuan, Lu Zhaolin, Xu Wei, Chen Tianhua, Wang Guowei, Zhu Xiang, Lao She, Fu Lei, Yang Shuo, Yuan Qianli, Wen Jie, San Mao...

If it is said that these great poets, great scholars, and great talents who often inspire the world to love life and live well in their works are fragile, some people will definitely disagree, but other than that, who can provide a more appropriate adjective?

After all, it is still fragile.

A truly strong person will choose to bloom when hurt.

According to Yu Minhong, the founder of New Oriental, in his autobiography, he was also an "unsuccessful poet" when he was studying at Peking University. He wrote more than 600 poems, but unfortunately none of them were published.In his words, "I have rich emotions and no beautiful writing style, so I didn't become a poet in the end", but Yu Minhong felt very fortunate: "Because I found that people who really became poets had accidents later. I am less Possess the temperament of a poet, because a poet must find no hope from despair, the kind that must die or live. Why can’t I be a poet? It’s because in the end of everything, I always believe that there will be a bright future.”

There are two poems by Lu You that say it well: "The mountains and rivers are full of doubts and there is no way out, and the willows are dark and the flowers are bright and there is another village." Therefore, even if we are hurt in life, don't give up on ourselves.As long as you have faith and dreams, sooner or later you will be in full bloom.

5.Learn to accept if you can't change
Not long ago, I went to Yushu for disaster relief. 99% of the people there believe in Buddhism, so when facing this disaster, their mentality is completely different from that of the victims of the Wenchuan earthquake.At that time, I went to many psychological counseling experts from all over the country, but these experts could not find anyone to help, because the local people did not need comfort, they understood that all dharmas are impermanent, and everything is caused by karma.People with faith usually think about the good aspects and the bad aspects, such as death, illness, aging, bankruptcy, etc., so they appear extremely brave and strong in the face of disasters.

——Sodargye Rinpoche (contemporary famous monk, philanthropist, once delivered a speech at Tsinghua University)
An American boy suffering from a terminal illness was tortured to the brink of death by the disease. When he returned to the light, he asked his father: "Will I die?" The American father was heartbroken, but he still reluctantly answered with a smile: "Yes, my child!" The boy asked again: "Is death terrible?" The father replied: "No, it is not terrible at all. After death, you will go to heaven. Heaven is the place where everyone will eventually go, just like us. Traveling, having fun, but also very tired, so we look forward to going home. Death is like going home!"

——This plot is from a Hollywood movie called "Never Give Up".Is this the attitude of all Americans towards life and death? Since we have not been to the United States, we cannot easily draw conclusions.However, it is said that most Americans did not die in the hospital like many people in the country, but went home when they knew that their medicine stones were ineffective, and entered heaven calmly under the blessing of the pastor.

The Chinese are the most filial nation in the world, but filial piety cannot change the laws of nature.Because of filial piety, or because they are afraid of being laughed at, many Chinese families often face a double tragedy when an elderly person dies. They lose both people and money.After dealing with the funeral, the economic crisis must be dealt with immediately.Some brothers and sisters punch out the brains of living people before the old people are even buried.

Chinese funerals are also often a show.A person can remain indifferent for a long time before his parents are alive, but he may cry harder and louder than everyone else after his parents die.Of course, there are also those who cry from the bottom of their hearts, and some people even faint, roll on the floor, or hit their heads on coffins, etc.

In short, few can be calm.Even if there is, it will not be regarded as calm, but unfilial.

It is a human instinct to love life and hate death. The more people love life, the more they hate death. But death is a part of life, a fact that everyone deliberately avoids but ultimately no one can avoid.To be born as a human being, whether king or beggar, poet or farmer, male or female, birth, old age, sickness, and death are all necessary stages of life.That being the case, then you can only adapt to this reality and get rid of this cruelty.

Ms. Bi Shumin once mentioned in a speech that when she discussed with Ms. Brown of the New Orleans Hospice Hospital in the United States the issue of "let patients die in the hospital or at home", the other party said: "In this century, due to technological Progress and the development of medicine, people have transferred the place of death from the traditional family to a strange hospital. Death is excluded from sight. Death is artificially isolated. An old man, even if he has never been in the hospital, even if he repeatedly Saying that you are going to die at home, but no one cares about him. People gradually think that it is only normal to die in a hospital, and they have done their duty. If someone dies at home, the public opinion will think that he has not received good care. Modern deprivation The right of people to die in the safe home they know. Now is the time to return. Let death return to the family. Let the dying person enjoy the final peace and dignity. They will be surrounded by their loved ones in their own home Now, let’s go on a peaceful journey.”

In fact, almost all Chinese authors are reluctant to talk about death, because Chinese people have too many taboos.But can taboo stop the pace of aging?What should come is still coming.

As in death, isn't it the same in life?

"If the sky has love, the sky will also grow old", fate is never in our hands.Who likes earthquakes?But here it comes; who likes car accidents?But it keeps coming over and over again; who likes terminal illness?But when it comes, it will not go away... In front of God, human beings often only have to accept it passively, and the strength and effect of their resistance are often minimal.At this time, people must learn to accept and learn to adapt.

According to historical records, there was a young man named Meng Min in the Eastern Han Dynasty. When he lived in Taiyuan, he went to the market one day and bought a pottery rice cooker. broken.An ordinary person would definitely feel regretful and annoyed, but Meng Min walked away calmly without even turning her head, as if the pottery steamer that fell on the ground belonged to someone else.It happened that there was a university student named Guo Tai behind him who witnessed the incident. Guo Tai rushed forward in surprise and asked politely, "What a good pot. It broke like this. Why don't you even look at it?"

Meng Min said: "The retort is already broken, so what's the use of looking back at it?"

When Guo Tai heard this, he felt that this young man was very important, so he persuaded him to go on a study tour.Ten years later, Meng Min became famous all over the world, and later ranked among the three princes.

That's right, it doesn't matter if it's pottery rice cooker, iron rice bowl, golden rice bowl, or other things. Now that the established fact has been formed, what's the use of being distressed?What's the use of not being reconciled?The greatest tragedy in the world is to plunge into tragedy, and the greatest pain in the world is to prolong the pain.When things cannot be changed, tell yourself softly: this is the truth, we have no choice but to accept it.

Only by accepting can there be the next gorgeous turn.

6.Go to the end of life to have a look

One night, watching me sitting in the office editing a film, Bai Yansong came in and said to me: "The years that people claim to be the happiest are actually the most painful, but the memories are very beautiful."

——Chai Jing (host of CCTV program, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)

Practicing Zen is an important lesson in the cultivation of great virtues of ancient eminent monks, among which Chanhuatou is the main one.The dialogues of the Zen masters are either unexpected and ingenious, or unfathomable and puzzling, but they all hide profound philosophies.

For example, one summer, when the weather was extremely hot, a monk asked a traveling monk: "It's so hot, I'm so annoyed, where do you think we should go to hide?" Avoid it!" The monk was taken aback: "How can you hide from the heat in the hot soup stove? Why not be scalded to death?" The monk smiled: "At least there will be no worries in there!"

Obviously, what the monk and the monk were discussing was not how to escape the summer heat, but the psychological problem of the monk—the trouble is because you are still alive, the living have troubles, only the dead have no troubles.Since we are still alive, we should face up to and transcend these troubles.This is exactly the purpose of our practice.

Relatively speaking, the strategy of Westerners who do not understand Zen is much more straightforward:

There was a frustrated young man in England who went to a bar to drink for several days.The shop owner is a kind-hearted middle-aged man. He found an opportunity, stepped forward and asked cautiously, "Young man, have you encountered any troubles? Tell me, maybe I can help you."

The young man glanced at him lightly: "I have too many problems, and no one can help me solve them."

The boss did not retreat, and further explained: "I went out to fight the world when I was a teenager. I also felt like you when I was young. Later, an expert pointed me out. Tomorrow, if possible, I will take you to a place. He took me there once, where all your troubles can be solved..."

There is no piece of ice that is not melted by the sun.The young man finally nodded.

The next day, they set off as scheduled.The young man never dreamed that the shop owner took him into a cemetery.Pointing to a new grave with wreaths on it, the boss said with emotion: "There is nothing wrong with lying here. No matter how many problems you have or how unfortunate you are, as long as you can survive, you are lucky." .”

The young man was suddenly detached.

Indeed, survival is the most important appeal of human beings, and being able to live in this world is a great happiness in itself.The cold cemetery, the end of life, the place we usually try to walk around as much as possible, is actually a temple of philosophy.Go there and have a look, think about it, you will gain a lot.

Only by taking a look at the end of life can you realize that happiness is always with you, and you can understand the beauty and meaning of living, so that you will not waste all your good life on lamenting misfortune.

Take a look at the end of your life, you will no longer have surgery for single eyelids and sleepless nights for acne; you will fall in love with yourself, honor your parents, be grateful to the society, you will make more friends, and even get people who hated you like.

Take a look at the end of life, and you will understand what is the most important thing in life. Tom Watson, the founder of IBM, was diagnosed with heart disease very early, but he refused to be admitted to the hospital.In order to persuade him, the doctor took him to the cemetery to "brainwash" him. Looking at the tombstones everywhere, Watson suddenly became detached, handed in his resignation the next day, and started a new life.To put it cruelly, everyone, from the moment of birth, begins to walk towards the grave step by step.Why artificially speed up this brutal pace?

Take a look at the end of life, and you will understand that you don't need much to be a human being. Even if you are given a golden mountain, you will not be able to take anything with you in the end.

Alexander, who once established a powerful empire spanning Asia, Africa and Latin America, left three last wishes before his death: First, his coffin must be transported back to the country alone by his physician.Second, when his coffin was carried to the grave, the way to the graveyard was to be strewn with gold, silver, and precious stones from his treasury.Third, a hole should be dug on each side of his coffin so that his hands can be placed outside the coffin.People are curious, but no one dares to ask why.Only a newly promoted young general had the courage to kiss Alexander's hand and said, "Your Majesty, we must do what you tell us, but can you tell us why we are doing this?" Alexander replied panting. : "I want the world to understand the 3 lessons I just learned. Let the doctors carry my coffin so that people realize that doctors can't cure all people's diseases. In the face of death, they can't do anything. Hope people can Cherish life. My second dying wish is to tell people not to pursue money like I did. I spent my life chasing wealth, but most of the time it was a waste of time. My third dying wish is for people to understand that I came into this world empty-handed , and I left this world empty-handed." After speaking, Alexander stopped breathing.

All are destined to be the same, and all inequalities will be wiped out at the end of life.Whether to be sad for it or rejoice over it; whether to live a good life or continue to struggle with the concepts of identity, status, high and low, it's all up to you.

(End of this chapter)