dead souls, imperial envoy

Chapter 53 The Imperial Envoy (5)
There are only a dozen or so administrators left, indeed not many, and the rest of the patients have all been cured and discharged from the hospital.This is inseparable from our usual proper management and rigorous work.Since I've been here—and it may seem strange to you—everybody has been cured.Some patients even recovered before they could enter the hospital.To keep them healthy, not only with medicine, but with honesty and order, and that's how we do it.

To be honest, the mayor is really not easy to be the mayor!There are too many responsibilities on him, about cleaning, repairing, remodeling... in a word, the smartest person will feel embarrassed.But thank God, all is well.Some mayors naturally only care about their own interests, but I am different from them.Believe it or not, every day when I lie down and go to sleep, I always think, "God, how can I make my boss see my hard work? How can I make him happy with my performance?" The boss Whether to reward me is naturally up to him to decide, but no matter what, I really have a clear conscience.Everything is in order in our city, the streets are swept clean, the prisoners are well treated, the number of drunks is decreasing day by day... what else can I dissatisfy?Really, really, I don't want any credit.Honor is naturally attractive, but in the face of morality, honor becomes dung and a boring thing.

Administrator (narrator) This guy can really talk!God gave him a sharp tooth!
Hey it's true.To be honest, I myself love to use my brain sometimes.Often want to write a prose, or poetry.

BAO (to Dobchinski) Yes, indeed, Peter Ivanovitch!To be able to say such things... is obviously a cultivated and learned person.

Hey, what kind of pastimes do you usually have here?Is there any entertainment, such as playing cards?
MAYOR (narrator) I know what you mean by that! (loudly) No, no!There is absolutely no such behavior here.I've never held a card in my hand, and don't even know how to play it.I get anxious when I see a card. Sometimes I see a King29 of red squares or something, and I get so bored that I even spit in disgust.Once, in order to play with the children, I built a pavilion out of playing cards, and then dreamed all night about these hideous cards.Go to its Solitaire!How can you waste your precious time on such a thing?

Inspector (narrator) See how well you say it, but the scoundrel won me a hundred rubles yesterday.

Mayor, if I have time, I will definitely use it to do more meaningful things for the country.

Huh no!Why would you...everything depends on which way someone looks at something.For example, if you stop raising when you should have tripled, then naturally... no, so I can't say it like you, gambling money can be very tempting sometimes.

▲The sixth game
[Frontmen, Anna Andreevna and Maria Antonovna]
Mayor, let me introduce my family: this is my wife and daughter.

He (bows) Nice to meet you, madam.

Ann, we are even more honored to meet someone like you.

He (pretentiously) Madam, where is this, it is my honor.

How is this possible?You are speaking politely.Please sit down.

I am honored to stand beside you, but if you don't mind, then I will sit down.I'm so happy, then I'd rather be respectful than obedient.

I don't dare to take it seriously, I can't bear what you say... I think you people who live in the capital feel unhappy when traveling abroad?
Hey!Very unhappy.We are used to life on the social scene, and we suddenly go on a trip: dirty hotels, dark rooms... To be honest, if it weren't for an opportunity that made me... (examine Anna Andreevna, pretending to be ) got me treated like this...

Ann: Yes, you must be very unhappy.

Mrs. Hedan, I feel very happy now.

An, you are too polite, we only tried our best, and we dare not take your high praise.

He dare not be?Ma'am, you think you can take on the responsibility.

Ann I live in the country...

Oh, the countryside, the countryside is also very interesting... Of course, how can it compare with Petersburg!Oh, Petersburg!Petersburg!What a life there!You may think that I am just copying and copying; in fact, it is not, the friendship between the director and me is very deep.He often patted his shoulder and said, "Brother, come over for dinner if you have nothing to do!" I only went to the bureau to do something, and it only took 2 minutes, just to say: this thing should be done this way, and that thing should be done this way.In addition, there are officials who are on business, like mice, just pick up the pen and write with a scratch.They even wanted to promote me to an eighth-rank civil servant. I thought to myself, there is no need for this.The porter is always chasing me up the stairs with a brush, calling: "Ivan Alexandrovitch, I'll brush your shoes." (to the Mayor) Why are you standing, gentlemen?Please sit down!

Mayor (in unison): Our position is small, so we should stand.

ADMINISTRATOR (in unison) We can stand for a while.

Inspectors (in unison) Don't worry about it!

He doesn't care about the level of the position, please sit down. (The mayor sits down with the crowd) I don't like being too polite.On the contrary, I like to be honest and do things without knowing it.But no matter how hard I try, I still can't escape, no matter what!No matter where I go, people say: "Look, Ivan Alexandrovitch is coming!" Once, someone even mistaken me for the commander-in-chief: some soldiers jumped out of the guard room and rushed to the police station. I salute with my gun.Then an officer I knew well said to me, "Dude, they think you're the Commander in Chief."

Ann, look, it really happened!

Hey, I know some pretty actresses.I also watch various farces from time to time... know some writers.I have a deep friendship with Pushkin.Often said to him: "How is it, brother Pushkin?"

Ann do you often write something?It’s so amazing to be a writer!You probably still publish in magazines?

Yes, I sometimes publish articles in magazines.I have many books: "The Marriage of Figaro"30, "Robert the Devil", some of which I can't even remember the names of.These were all written by accident.I didn't really want to write it, but the theater management said, "Please, man, write something." I thought, "Okay, let's write something." It seemed to be done in one night, which surprised everyone.My mind is very active.All the works use the pseudonym of Blancheus, and I wrote the Battleship Hope and Moscow Telecom.

Ann Then are you Blancheus?

Of course, I often edit articles for them all, and Smilkin31 paid me 4 yuan.

Ann "Julia Miloslavski" must also be your masterpiece, right?

Yes, it is my humble work.

Ann, I guessed right.

Mama Ma, the book clearly says it was written by Mr. Zagoskin.

Ann, just look at you, I know that you don't forget to argue with me here.

Hey, yes, that's true, it's Zagoskin's book, but the other one, Julia Milovsky's, is mine.

Ann, yes, I have read that masterpiece.Really well written!

To tell the truth, I live by literature.I have a first class house in Petersburg.Ivan Alexandrovitch's house is famous. (to everyone) Gentlemen, if you have time, please come to Petersburg, please come and play in my lodgings.I often throw parties when I'm at home.

Ann I can just imagine how fun and gorgeous your party is.

Hena, of course, for example, there is a watermelon on the table—the watermelon is worth seven hundred rubles.The soup in the pot had been shipped from Paris on a ship; when the lid was opened, a puff of fragrant steam rushed to the face, such a beautiful taste could never be found in nature.I have to party every day.Often a few people gather to play cards; the foreign minister, the French ministers, the British and German ministers, and myself often get together.Playing cards will be a lot of fun.Go down the stairs to my room on the fourth floor, and just say to the cook: "Mavroska, take the coat..." Oh, why did I say that wrong, God, I forgot myself , I live on the second floor.I have grand staircases in my house... It's a lot of fun to see my front room while I'm still awake: Earls and dukes jostling there, humming and whispering like wild bees ,... Sometimes there are ministers there... (The mayor and the rest of the people stand up from their chairs in fear) Address me in the envelope written to me: Your Excellency.Once, I even actually became the director.A strange thing happened: the director left without knowing where he was going, and disappeared for no reason.Everyone naturally talked about it; what should we do?Who should take his place!There are many people in the general who want to do this job, but they are not very suitable.This position looks simple, but if you think about it carefully, you will find it too difficult!These people really had no choice, so they ran to me.Back then the streets were full of messengers, messengers, messengers... just think about it, there were thirty-five thousand messengers alone!How big is this situation, may I ask you? "Ivan Alexandrovitch, please manage the affairs of the department!" To tell the truth, I was a little flustered and got up in my dressing gown.I wanted to thank the resignation at first, but after thinking about it, I can see the emperor, and the resume looks good... I said: "Everyone, I can accept this position. Since everyone wants me to do it, I can accept it, but I But you are not allowed to do anything wrong! My ears are very good! I will mercilessly..." Really, when I walked through the store, it was like an earthquake, everything trembled and trembled, like A piece of thin paper is average. (The mayor and the rest tremble with fright. Hlesdakoff becomes more excited) Oh!I don't like joking!I warned everyone.Even the Council of State is afraid of me.Any idea what's going on here?I am such a person!I don't care about anyone... I say to everyone: "I know myself, I know myself." Where am I going?I go everywhere, I am everywhere.In and out of the palace every day.Maybe tomorrow I will be promoted to be a marshal... (slips his foot and almost falls to the ground, but the officials support him respectfully)

The Mayor (approaches, shuddering, barely able to speak) Big, big, big...

He (in a rapid and hasty voice) What is it, what is it?

The mayor is big, big, big, big...

Heh (in the same voice) What's the matter?It all confuses me.

Mayor, big, big... my lord, my lord, do you want to take a break? . . . There is a room over there, and everything is ready.

Hey rest - why rest?Well, I'm going to take a break.Ladies and gentlemen, your breakfast is so delicious... I am very satisfied, very satisfied. (in reciting) Salt cod!Salted cod! (enters the side room, followed by the mayor)
▲The seventh game
[Players, except Hles Dakov and the mayor]
BAO (to Dobchinski) Look at you, Peter Ivanovich, you're a big man!I have never seen such an important character in my life, and I almost died of fright.Peter Ivanovich, what do you think his position is?
I think, almost a general.

Bao, I don't think a general deserves to carry his shoes.Even a general should be an admiral.Did you hear: the State Council is afraid of him?Let's go and talk to Amos Fedorovich and Golobkin.See you later, Anna Andreevna!

See you later, mother-in-law! (Two people get off)
The administrator (to the inspector) is horrible, and I don't know why.We were not in uniform.As soon as I wake up, I'll send a report to Petersburg, won't I? (Walking away melancholy with the inspector) See you later, ma'am!

▲The eighth game
[Anna Andreevna and Maria Antonovna]
Oh, what an interesting person!

Mata is such a lovely person!

Ann is so graceful!It can be seen at a glance that he is a character in the capital.His attitude, and everything else.. so good!I like such young people!He also likes me so much that I am going crazy.I could tell he was always looking at me.

Mama, he always looks at me!
Ann please don't say such nonsense!What does it have to do with you?

Mama, it's true!
All right!Stop arguing with me!No need to argue, why argue!Why is he looking at you?Why should he look at you?

Really, Mom, he's always looking at me.He glanced at me when he was talking about literature, and then he glanced at me again when he was talking about playing cards with envoys.

Ann may have once, and it was just a casual look.He said to himself: "Ah! Just look at him!"

▲The ninth game
[Front-court figures and the mayor]
MAYOR (creeping in) Shhhhhhhhhh

What's wrong with Ann?
The mayor, I got him drunk, which is not good.What if half of what he said was true? (Thinking) How could it not be true?Once a person drinks wine, he will speak out what is in his heart: what is in his heart, what comes out of his mouth.He was exaggerating, of course; but there is no way to speak without exaggeration.Gambling cards with the ministers, and going to the palace... It's a bit too much, the more I think about it, the more I don't know what's going on, like standing on a bell tower, or someone wants to hang you.

There was nothing to fear about Ann, and I was not in the slightest apprehension; I only saw him as a learned, respectable, well-mannered man, and as to his position I did not care.

The mayor is totally a woman, you women!You are supercilious, nothing goes through your brain, and your mouth has no heart.No matter what happens, there will always be an unrestrained word!Others may just beat you up and be done with it, but your husband is remembered by others.How could you treat him so casually?As with Dobchinski, no matter what.

Ann, don't worry about this matter, I know how to measure, and I know what to do... (Looks at my daughter)

The Mayor (speaking alone) has nothing to say to you! ... I am in trouble!I still haven't recovered from the fright. (opens the door, speaks to the outside) Mishka!Call the guards in, Svestunov and Terzhimorda.They are not far from the door. (After a moment of silence) The world is full of strange things now: it can be said that he has a prominent appearance, but he is so thin and slender—how can he know who he is.Soldiers can still see it, but when they put on their uniforms—like flies with their wings clipped.Just now in the hotel, he was putting on airs and telling a lot of lies, as if he never figured out what was going on for the rest of his life, and then he finally took the bait.And say more than should be said.That's the way young people are.

▲The tenth game
[The front-court figures and Osip all run to meet him, beckoning him with their fingers]
Ann come here!

Mayor Boo! ……how?how?Are you fast asleep?
Oh not yet.Stretch out and lie there.

Ann, what's your name?
O My name is Ossip, Mrs.

MAYOR (to wife and daughter) Enough is enough, enough! (to Ossip) How is it, my friend, have you eaten well?
Oh well eaten, thank you!eat well.

Ann Are many earls and dukes frequenting thy lord?You talk about it.

Oh (narrator) What did you say?If you eat well now, you will eat even better in the future. (Audibly) Yes, the earls used to go.

Maosip, your master looks really good!

An Osip, please tell me, is he...

Mayor, stop talking!You guys are always bothering me with such nonsense.How are you, old friend?
Ann, what is the position of your master?

O is that ordinary position.

Mayor Oh my God, you always do these stupid cross-examinations!Don't let me talk about serious things.How is your master, old friend? ... Severe?Always love to blame people!
Oh yes, he is very principled.He always demanded that everything be done neatly.

Mayor I like your face very much.You must be a good man, my friend.How about it……

An Osip, how does your master walk when he is in uniform? ...

Forget it, the mayor, you two bastards!Me, we have urgent matters.But it is a matter of our destiny. (to Ossip) I like you very much, old friend.Now that the weather is cold and you are away from home, you might as well drink a cup or two of tea. I will give you two rubles for the tea.

Oh (taking money) Thank you, thank you, sir!May you be in good health!I wish you all the best.

Mayor OK, thank you, I'm happy.How is it, old friend...

Ann, Osip, what color eyes does your master prefer? ...

Maosip!Your master has a tiny nose!

Mayor, wait a minute, let me! . . . (to Ossip) Well, old friend, tell me: what is your master most interested in?In other words, what is he most concerned about on the road?What do you like most?
What he likes is decided temporarily.What he likes most is receiving generous hospitality and eating good food.

Is the mayor delicious?
Oh yes, good stuff. ——Although I am his slave, he did not forget to give me some benefits.real!Sometimes we go somewhere.He asked me: "Osip, are you well fed?"—I said: "No, my lord!"—he said: "Osip, this is not good. Next time I go, Remind me." I thought to myself, "Oh, let him go! (waves) I'm an ordinary person."

Mayor Okay, okay, you have a point.I gave you some tea money just now, and now I will take some more to buy bread.

Why did you pay again, my lord? (Hiding the money) I'll have a drink later, I wish you well.

Ann, come to me, Osip, and take some money too.

Maosip, kiss your master when you go back!
[Hlesdakoff's slight cough is heard from the side room. ]
Mayor Boo! ... (Stands up on tiptoe, whispering in a low voice) Be quiet!Go back to your rooms, all of you!We're almost there...

Ann let's go, Mashenka!I'll tell you something, something I've seen in my guests that only the two of us can talk about together.

The mayor let them speak!If you accidentally hear what they say, you really want to plug your ears. (to Ossip) Hey, old friend...

▲No.11

[Players, Terzhimorda and Svestunov Terzhimorda, hereinafter referred to as Taiwan]
(End of this chapter)