Super self-control: not being a slave to habit

Chapter 18

People with this kind of habitual action generally have strong analytical skills. Although they can't make quick judgments when encountering problems, once a decision is made, they often don't look back.

Hide lips, squeeze lips, and make an inverted U-shape of lips

People who are about to testify in court have a habit of hiding their lips, which shows that they are under a lot of pressure.In times of stress, hiding your lips is a very common response.

We often make lip-squeezing movements, as if our brain is telling us to shut our mouths.Don't let anything get into our body.The squeezing of the lips is a reflection of negative emotion, and it is a clear sign that you are in trouble, or that something is wrong.This behavior rarely has positive connotations.But that doesn't mean you're cheating in some way, it just means you were under a lot of stress.

If your lips are in an inverted U shape, it means you are distressed or sad.You can experiment with this yourself by hiding or squeezing your lips in front of a mirror.You will find that you can hide your lips, but you can only squeeze them into a line, and it is difficult to make an inverted U-shaped mouth.Why?Because it only comes when we are truly distressed or sad.

Tongue out

We never expose our tongue easily, so tongue movements can provide us with less information, but this does not mean that tongue movements are not worthy of attention.Look at some pets around us, such as kittens and puppies, they will express their emotions by licking their tongues.People's emotions are more complex, and tongue movements are more varied.

When you're under stress, it might seem like you're licking your lips, but your goal is to moisturise your dry tongue for self-soothing.If you stick out your tongue, it means that you feel very embarrassed, and you hope to use the action of sticking out your tongue to ease the atmosphere.But sometimes, this action can also mean that you are concentrating on something.For example, the star Jordan often has this kind of action on the court.

Generally speaking, children sticking out their tongues is a sign of naughty behavior.If this action happens to an adult, it may be that he escaped a catastrophe, is grateful for himself, or is a little embarrassed when someone finds out that he is doing something.For example, when you are peeking at other people's letters, and the owner of that letter comes back, you will quickly put the letter in the envelope, pat your chest, and stick out your tongue.This subconscious action seems to be an implicit expression, indicating that the matter is finally over, it can be concluded, stick out your tongue, and breathe a sigh of relief.

cover mouth with hand
This action is sometimes similar to the meaning expressed by sticking out the tongue, indicating that one has realized the mistake of what he just said or did.

Self-control experts remind
The mouth is an expressive part of the facial expression.Even extremely subtle psychological changes will be expressed vividly by the flexible orbicularis muscle.Among the five sense organs that are good at interpreting silent language, it is second only to the eyes.Self-control experts believe that your mouth should not make some actions that are contrary to the principle of harmonious coexistence.

use proper intonation

The individual's habit of expressing language is often not easy to detect by himself, and is not controlled by the consciousness of the person concerned.For example, we have no intention of insulting, accusing a friend, or belittling a business associate.However, they often do this kind of behavior unconsciously. Although it may not be obvious, this hidden behavior habit poisons the soul and destroys life.But if you just pay attention to the tone of your voice, your whole life will change.

The high-pitched voice is an accessory of early childhood and is one of the manifestations of willfulness.Generally speaking, the older you are, the lower your pitch will be.Moreover, as a person's spiritual structure gradually matures, he has the ability to suppress "willful" emotions.However, some adult voices are indeed quite high pitched.The psychology of this kind of person is back to the stage of infancy, so he can't restrain his willful performance.In this case, it is absolutely unacceptable to accept other people's opinions.

There was once a symposium attended by many women. Someone made some remarks critical of women, which immediately aroused their loud rebuttals, which made the symposium full of gunpowder for a while, and lost the gentle atmosphere of calm discussion. Can't go on.Therefore, a high-pitched voice can be said to be a manifestation of mental immaturity.When a person is mentally immature, his mind will lose control and run wild like a wild horse, causing all kinds of harm, but he can only watch these things happen helplessly, and he has no ability to clean up the mess afterwards.

Those whose brains are prone to "fever", the moment they lose control, their brains are not under their own control.You know that he definitely has the ability to control himself, but at that time all rationality has been thrown to the sky.In fact, through proper exercise, you can completely control your thoughts and guide your emotions.In this way, your mind will not be disturbed, and your brain will not be short-circuited during critical periods. You are the master of your brain.

Have you ever had the experience of never letting yourself lose your mind in the presence of certain people, no matter what provocation? restraint.Almost everyone will feel that there is no way to lose self-control in front of some women or friends.But on the other hand, there is no real respect or understanding in front of a pawn or junior employee that you regard as a business operation. Sometimes when you are at home and feel that you are not limited, in the slightest Under the stimulation, they will become furious.This once again proves that human beings are much better at controlling their own abilities than imagined.

Even the most fiery of men seldom see him throwing a tantrum at a reception or dinner with a distinguished guest.If we maintain a certain respect for all people, including the humblest, there is enough self-esteem.Then you will be able to control your emotions with ease.

Much of the friction and conflict in life stems from tone of voice.Indeed, when each other is in a state of excitement, people always want to raise their voices to overwhelm each other, and the volume also increases, and the argument becomes more intense.The tone of speech also reveals the emotions and attitudes towards others.The sharp tone of voice, the exasperation and insincerity of the mental attitude, which is undoubtedly offensive.Sometimes, when you feel your veins bursting and anger burning in your heart, all you need to do is artificially lower your tone of voice to ease the hot-headed tension.We all know that after doing something wrong, the child's constant yelling in anger only makes him really angry.The more they yelled and quarreled, the crazier they became, until at last they became hysterical.Their own angry tones fanned the rage.And a low and soothing tone will extinguish the raging anger in the chest.

In addition, your tone of voice can also reflect whether you are candid with others and whether you have respect for others in your heart.No matter what topic you're talking about, keep your tone of voice in tune with what you're talking about.An appropriate tone can convey the information you have to the other party in a timely and accurate manner, and can tactfully persuade the other party to accept a certain point of view of yours or encourage the other party to implement a certain action, and can properly express your attitude towards a certain topic.

Self-control experts remind
Intonation often best reflects a person's inner world when speaking, and can also express personal emotions and attitudes. Its nuances can convey a lot of information to people.Generally speaking, a high-pitched tone is uplifting, and a low-pitched tone is depressing.In the process of contacting each other, we must learn to control the tone of voice.

Mobilize your smiling muscles
Generally speaking, people think that emotions cause people's reactions.That is, people cry when they are sad and tremble when they are afraid.But research by psychologists shows that's not quite the case.On the contrary, people feel sad because they cry, and fear because they tremble.That is to say, human emotions can be triggered by behavior.According to this view.People can control their emotions by controlling their behavior.

That is to say, we can actively change our emotions by changing our behavior. What kind of mood you act out, what kind of mood you imitate, you can often really get this kind of mood.Since happiness can be produced, when you are in a bad mood, you might as well raise the corners of your mouth to get happiness back.

Although Luo Xi has been in the company for half a year, she has never smiled.She said to her friend: "I am really depressed. I am very afraid of my boss and my colleagues. I am not emotionally stable, and I feel that I am always in a depressed state."

She always does not participate in any activities and hides herself after get off work.On this day, for some reason, she felt extremely depressed. She wanted to go home from get off work and have a good sleep, but the manager notified her to attend a very important meeting.In desperation, Luo Xi had no choice but to pretend to be cheerful and follow the manager to attend the meeting.

At the meeting, Luo Xi tried her best to pretend to be happy and warm, smiling and talking all the time. To her surprise, it didn't take long for her to feel that she was really happy physically and mentally. No longer depressed.

In fact, Luo Xi's method of changing her emotions is to use a theory of psychology, that is, fake smile therapy: put yourself in a certain mood, and you can make yourself really feel that way.

(End of this chapter)