Super self-control: not being a slave to habit

Chapter 29

Develop good habits and develop lasting self-control
"Habit is the deepest law in human nature." No matter how strong a person is, he cannot be stronger than his habits.For habits can make a man, and they can also be weakened by them.Habit, therefore, is man's strongest adversary as well as his strongest ally.You must learn to overcome the habits that impair self-control and develop the ones that increase it.

"Good habits are the capital stored in the nervous system of a person. This capital will continue to grow, and a person can enjoy its interest throughout his life.And bad habits are morally unpayable debts which can torture a man with ever-increasing interest, defeat his best ventures, and lead him to moral bankruptcy. 』

——Russian educator Ushinsky

All bad habits can be changed
In a sense, human life is systematically combined by a bunch of habits. Whether we admit it or not, we are "imitating and copying the past us" all the time.As we grow older, we become more and more like a programmed machine, and the force of habit increases.We act the way we do, rarely even thinking about why we do it, why we do it this way, and why not a better way.People around you will also judge you in a certain way.

But the word "habit" often represents a fixed behavioral tendency, whether it is a behavioral activity or a psychological activity, and many times it is a bad habit that is harmful, stupid or immoral.Mr. Ye Shengtao once said: "When a good habit is formed, it will be beneficial for a lifetime; Learning and knowledge, and their actions mostly depend on habits." The formation of habits does not happen overnight.It is not easy to correct a bad habit.Relevant experts have found that it takes about three weeks for the average person to get rid of an old habit.So you have to give yourself some time to get rid of your bad habits.At this point, only through strong willpower can these harmful habits be uprooted.

Constantly putting in the effort to change our bad habits works our willpower if we think deep down that we need to quit them.But these efforts mean a great conflict between those long-established habits and those forces that oppose them.Therefore, in order to overcome these conflicts, the following three points must be achieved.

First, the conscious use of willpower

Perhaps there is such a rule that in overcoming a bad habit one must use willpower consciously, though completely unconsciously at the time of forming the habit.Although people keep reminding themselves to make up their minds, they actually don't take it seriously deep down in their consciousness.In this process of self-restraint, we must consciously restrain ourselves, so that we can continue to work in new directions under the encouragement of willpower.At this time, the "force of habit" and the test of persistence are no longer so severe, and the willpower has been improved accordingly.

Second, you must train your will

The more often you train your willpower, the better you can break bad habits.Every few days, we can deliberately find a difficult thing to do, so that once we face difficulties, we will not lack courage and be in a hurry.

Mark Twain's doctors blamed him for smoking and drinking coffee too much, and he drank tea every night, ate heavy food, and drank Scotch spirits.Mark Twain declared to this, "I can quit them completely, but I can't reduce them." Be vigilant, once a hobby shows its signs, you should get rid of it from your brain immediately, don't let it lurk in yourself for a long time, otherwise it will take advantage of it.A habit that has been strongly restrained for three weeks in a row will disappear in due time.Perhaps, we can put the question in another way, that bad habits can be broken if they are always in the mind of the right proposition, aware of the consequences of succumbing to them.

Third, face bad habits, don't run away
Professor James said: "People with a strong will are those who face their own weaknesses without fear." When a bad thought appears, you should boldly look into its face, admit its existence, and grasp it quickly, while It is not to mobilize fierce forces and fight it to the death.Persist in getting through this time, the idea to overcome will automatically retreat, and his attention will be directed elsewhere, so that the problem will be easier to solve.

Over time, the new habits formed will replace the old ones.If you have a strong will, you can break a bad habit and form a good one in a very short time by tenacious and persistent force.

Self-control expert hot comment
People are slaves to their habits because they are willing slaves.All bad habits can be changed - if one really desires to.Why are you not freed from your slavery?You'd better make up your mind first, with a sincere and determined desire to quit those bad habits.

develop good work habits

In "The Personal Bible," author Kelly Gleason proposes a simple questionnaire for testing productivity at work:
Do you feel like you are always running out of time?
Do you feel like there is always work to be done?
Do you often feel lost in the chores and documents in the office?
Do you feel that dealing with E-mail is time-consuming and troublesome?

Do you often work overtime, have no rest late at night, and have to work overtime every weekend to complete the work of the week?

If you answered "yes" to all of these, it's clear that something is wrong with your productivity.

Gleason has discovered that it's not the sheer amount of work that keeps us dizzy, but rather our work habits, how much work we have and what to do first.

Only when a person develops good working habits can he act in an orderly manner and accomplish great things.Below we recommend 4 good working habits for you, which can allow you to work efficiently and get rid of fatigue.

Good work habit No. [-]: Remove all paper from your desk, leaving only what pertains to the business at hand.This way you'll find your work easier to manage and more organized.

Having a desk full of letters, reports, memos, and the like is enough to create a feeling of confusion, tension, and anxiety.Worse, it can make you feel like you have so much to do, but no time and no time to finish it.

Rosie Williams, chairman of the Chicago and Northwestern Railroad Company, said: "A man whose desk is full of papers, if he can clear his desk and leave some at hand, will find his work Easier and more practical."

The second good work habit: Arrange the order of work by distinguishing the importance of things.

Successful entrepreneur Henry Duherty says that no matter how much he pays, it is impossible to find a person who has both abilities.

These two abilities are: first, the ability to think; second, the ability to do things in the order of their importance.

Charles Luckman went from being an obscure man to being the chairman of Pasoden in 12 years, with a salary of $10 a year and an additional $100 million in income.He says the reason for his success is his ability to act on priorities.Lukeman said: "As far as I can remember, I get up at 5 o'clock in the morning every morning because my mind is clearer than other times. This way I can plan my work more thoughtfully for the day, according to the importance of things. Arrange the order of things to be done.”

Of course, it is impossible for a person to always arrange plans according to the importance of things, but doing things according to the plan is definitely much better than doing things according to whim.

The third good work habit: When you have a problem, if you have to make a quick decision, don't procrastinate.

The biggest source of procrastination is preparing yourself with excuses.People who love to procrastinate can always find excuses for procrastination, such as "the timing is wrong", "too busy now", "no time", "I can do better when I have a chance", etc., and the result is that nothing happens. Nothing done, nothing done.Excuses don't solve problems, you have to face reality.So your best bet is to find ways to overcome procrastination and become a truly productive worker.

The fourth good work habit: learn to authorize and supervise.

Many managers are like firefighters because they don't know how to delegate responsibility to others and insist on doing everything themselves.As a result, many little things make him busy, he always feels rushed, anxious and tense.

A person who wants to be able to do well at work, if he does not learn to authorize and supervise, then he is likely to suffer from many diseases at a young age.If you want to do big things, don't worry about everything. Don't solve the work that should be assigned to your subordinates yourself. In this way, you will find that you have more time to make major decisions, and others will not complain about your dictatorship.

Self-control expert hot comment
If everyone can develop good work habits, we will save more energy, reduce risks, and reduce fatigue.Work will be much different, and everyone will be happier and more successful.

root out unhealthy thoughts
Thoughts are the source of habits.Healthy thoughts form good habits, sick thoughts lead you into bad habits.Self-pity, self-comforting thoughts are undoubtedly the most stifling people's creativity, because in the process, self-confidence will be destroyed, energy and courage will be drained.If we want to use energy and energy in our life and work, we must have enough healthy and positive thoughts.

When a person feels sorry for himself and thinks that he can't do this, he can't do that, his mental level will immediately drop by a level, and his self-control will also be greatly reduced.

There is such a man who is talented and intelligent, but he always doubts himself and holds wrong ideas about the state of mind and body, so that he falls into a morbid state.Self-confidence was hit hard, and he ended up in a state of helplessness and despair.

He always thinks about the food he eats, what should be eaten, what should not be eaten, and what is suitable for him. Every time he eats a meal, he is always afraid that he will have symptoms of indigestion, which will only overwhelm the digestive system. Really cause indigestion.

He always wanted something branded.When traveling, always bring your own coffee and tea, some breakfast items.When dining in a hotel, always order something special.When others feel hot and unbearable, he always thinks to close the doors and windows to prevent himself from catching cold.

He was always paying attention to the advertisements of patent medicines and medical books, thinking about how to find a cure for the diseases he might contract.Every time I met him, some new disease symptoms appeared in his body.

He kept thinking about his physical ailments, pityed himself, and imagined that all kinds of terrible things would happen to him at any time.He thinks that when he is doing something, it will definitely bring some bad results.

The result of this way of thinking is that his talents are lost in this negative habit of thinking and negative mental habits.Only when a person walks out of such bad thoughts can he live out his true self.

If people are always blindly self-limiting, self-compassion, and self-pity in their hearts, they will create some artificial obstacles, and it is difficult to achieve achievements beyond the realm of their own imagination.

When a person always thinks that he is weak and sick, and thinks that he can do nothing, then he really can't do anything.

Anything that strengthens the body is a great help in diseases of the nervous and imaginative functions.But the most effective therapy is mental self-therapy.

A famous doctor has been focusing on research in the field of neurological diseases for a long time. He found that patients are always difficult to obtain satisfactory curative effect from prescription drugs or other drugs.Finally, he tries to get patients to keep smiling in all situations, whether they want to or not. "Let the corners of your mouth rise." This sentence is a good prescription for those suffering from depression.Keep smiling no matter how sad or blue your patients are feeling.Smile, this is indeed a good medicine.He said: "Smile, smile, don't stop smiling. No matter what your mood is, just let the corners of your mouth rise, and then see how you feel after doing this. Then write it down. It's been a long time, watching these days Change little by little, and you will find that there is really a magical power in the smile.” He asked the patients to stay in the ward, requiring them to have upward curves at the corners of their mouths, and asking them to learn to smile, even if they were not patients If they are really willing to do it, the patients will feel that they are getting better just like that.

But if people keep their mouths pursed and the corners of their mouths always look down, no matter how strong their willpower is to endure sadness and pain, they will eventually shed tears, the doctor said.Conversely, if they keep smiling, positive thoughts are bound to drive out ominous thoughts from their minds.

We have heard too many conversations about diseases from our elders since we were young, and we are always on guard against the harm caused by various diseases.When we grow up, we will think that the symptoms of various physical incongruities are just a natural law of the body itself.He will feel that the disease will attack at any time, and then take away his happiness and career.

How terrible these thoughts are.What would it have been like if we had grown up not hearing the words about being sick or being on the lookout for hazards, but instead hearing positive words to the contrary?If we tell him from the very beginning that human health is an eternal fact, and the so-called disease is just a manifestation of bodily dysfunction!Imagine the profound effect it would have on a child's outlook on life if, from an early age, he learned that a strong body and a great deal of energy are his birthright.

A healthy mind is essential to happiness.The dimension of thought determines the height of life.We cannot get healthy thoughts from sick thoughts or strained nerves.If our energy is at a low level, the quality of life will also decrease, and the ability to enjoy life will also shrink.

The healthier the mind, the less energy it expends.Because when the body and mind are at their best, not much energy is wasted.The less energy you waste, the more vitality you have and the less likely you are to get sick.When the whole body system is fully in a state of full power, you will be happier and happier.

Self-control expert hot comment
We should root out all sources of uncoordinated, unhealthy thoughts in our minds as soon as possible.When we wake up every morning, we should be full of vigor and joy.Start today by throwing out all the incongruous portraits in your mind gallery and filling your mind with beautiful, positive, vibrant paintings.

do something you don't want to do

The formation of a good habit does not happen overnight, but a process of repeated exercises, subtle changes, and accumulation over time.When your self-control is not strong enough, the best way to develop good habits is to start with the easiest things.In this way, when you take some insignificant actions, gradually, your self-confidence, self-control and sense of competence will continue to strengthen, and you will be able to take greater actions.

Practice is the most fundamental way to gain self-control, and only by relying on inertia and repeated self-control training can our nerves be fully controlled.From the perspective of repeated efforts and repeated training of will, the cultivation of self-control is to a large extent the formation of a habit.

In The Power of Habit, Jack Hodge records how he went from a slob to a long-distance runner:
(End of this chapter)