Super self-control: not being a slave to habit

Chapter 28

Think about the qualities in yourself that you do appreciate.Just as you can love your friends despite seeing their many flaws and inadequacies clearly, you can still love who you really are despite being aware of all the things you need to grow and develop.Doing this will really make you feel great, and it will really do wonders in your life.

Adding your own name and using the second person for affirmative statements is very effective:
Mary, you deserve to be loved, and I love you so much.

Mary, you are kind and loving and you have so much to share with others, I thank you.

Mary, you are smart, gifted, and creative, and I love you.

Mary, you are very attractive, I admire you.

Mary, you deserve the best things in life and I support you.

Susan, you love the world, and the world loves you, and I believe in you.

Direct affirmation statements like this to ourselves are particularly effective, since many of our negative images are shaped by early negative judgments of us by others in one way or another.Try to picture the clearest image of yourself in your mind and send love to yourself as you would to someone you care about.

It is also very important to repeat the affirmative statement of welcoming the good of the universe:
I open my heart to receive the blessings of this abundant universe.

All good things (or anything positive for that matter) come to me effortlessly and naturally.

I accept my strengths, and they are overflowing me here and now.

I deserve the best and the best is coming right now.

The more I receive, the more I give.

Use affirmations in many ways:
verbal affirmation
(1) Say it silently or aloud to yourself anytime of the day that comes to mind.

(2) Chant aloud facing the mirror.This method is especially effective for increasing your self-love.Look directly into your own eyes and see the beauty, love and worth in them.Keep doing it until you fully experience what it is like to face yourself and love yourself.During this process, you may find that some emotions will come up and some emotions will be let go.

(3) Record your affirmations on tape and play them for yourself when needed.Or you can also record a paragraph, which vividly describes the ideal you in the first, second, or third person.

written affirmation
Written affirmation statements are a powerful technique because written words have a powerful effect on our hearts.

(1) Find any affirmative statement you want to use, and write it on paper 10-20 times in turn.Add your name to the sentence and write the sentence in the first, second and third person.

(2) When writing, pay attention to whether you have any conflicts, doubts or negative emotions about the content you write.If so (even slightly), turn the paper over, write on the back these negative thoughts and why you think certain affirmations are untrue and ineffective, and then go back and write the affirmations.

(3) After writing, look at the back of the paper, examine the causes of negative beliefs, and think about affirmative statements that can help you overcome them.Then write out these affirmative statements.

Insist on writing affirmations once or twice a day for a few days.Once you really see your negative tendencies, stop writing them out, just keep writing affirmations.What you affirm often ends up magically unfolding.

Make affirmation statements with others
(1) If you have a spiritual partner, do it with him.Sitting facing each other, eyes met, two people take turns affirming each other, and the other responds to the affirmation—accepting and confirming the partner's affirmation.Repeat 10-15 times, rotating roles.

Even if you feel awkward and shy at first, make sure your affirmations are relevant and meaningful.You can use this to show your love and support for the other person, and really support him in changing a negative perception into a positive one.In doing so, you will experience the vastness of love between human beings...

(2) Ask your friends to speak affirmative words to you frequently and informally.Think of this as a game between friends, and it pays off.For better or worse, what our friends say to us often has a great effect on us.

(3) Gradually build affirmations into your conversations—making strong positive statements about things and people (including yourself) that you want to treat more positively.This approach often leads to dramatic life changes. (Do not use this technique when you feel that making an affirmation is contrary to your true feelings, when you are feeling insecure or negative, when the affirmation is overwhelming you.

Self-control expert hot comment
Sure is a great way to create a positive self-image, develop good habits, and develop lasting self-control.Once you understand the many ways you don't love yourself, you can take every opportunity to make more positive, appreciative, and loving statements about yourself.As you consciously begin to appreciate yourself, you will quickly find that you are more loving towards other people as well.

Master yourself, enjoy balance

Psychologists believe that people are born with the inner driving force to do things from the beginning to the end. If the task to be completed is not completed, a strong sense of discomfort will arise in the heart, driving them to ignore other things and continue the work until the motivation to complete is obtained. satisfy.

In order to further explain this psychological phenomenon of people, Zeigoni conducted the following experiments in 1927.

The participants in the experiment were divided into two groups, A and B. They were required to solve the same math problem within the same time period. Group A successfully completed the calculation, while Group B was ordered to stop the calculation in the middle of the calculation.After the experiment was over, he asked groups A and B to recall the calculus topics respectively. The final result was: Group B who had not completed the calculus remembered the topics in the math test significantly better than Group A who had completed the test.This experiment shows that people will have a deep psychological memory of unfinished things, so that people can't let go of them for a long time, and they can't be satisfied and relax until they are completed.

The Zeigoni effect makes people deeply understand: Although people will have the desire and impulse to complete in their hearts when they face various problems, which is conducive to people's good start and finish when doing things, but if this driving force in the heart is not enough Without reasonable control and balance, people will go to extremes, causing mental distress such as worry, anxiety, restlessness, and difficulty falling asleep, which in turn affects physical and mental health and quality of life.

Frank is a TV reporter with a busy schedule and frequent business trips.Every time he receives a new interview task, he will always work desperately, even to the point of forgetting to eat and sleep. In his eyes, there are almost no weekends, and there are only a handful of rest time throughout the year.

But things don't seem to be good. His hair has been falling out badly recently, and his appetite has also dropped.He suspected that he was terminally ill, and walked into the hospital in a panic. The doctor told him that it was because of too much work pressure, and warned him that if he didn't change in time, it would cause many diseases.

On the way home, Frank decided not to be a workaholic anymore.Outside of work, he happily spends time with his wife and children.To his surprise, not only did this not affect his work, but he was more efficient and his body recovered.

With the accelerated pace of life and increasingly fierce competition, modern people are more and more enthusiastic about work, but at the same time it also brings serious negative effects to people. They lose interest, hobbies, and The time spent with family members misses opportunities to socialize with colleagues, and at the same time, their emotional and mental states are also greatly affected.

Everyone has an innate desire to complete. Driven by desire, if things cannot be completed for a day, people will not be relieved for a day.

The Zeigoni effect tells people: in life, learn to relax your life, balance your inner world, don't let busy work disrupt your life, and don't let unsatisfied mentality destroy your health.

So how do people balance their work and life in their lives?As the idiom says: "Prepare for a rainy day", whether the task before you is answering an e-mail immediately, arranging a family trip in a few days, or considering a long-term retirement plan, you can first design a timetable and make a plan with confidence. Make decisions and handle affairs with ease.In life, you should record the things that must be done and the things that take a long time to complete, and plan the time for completion, and proceed according to the schedule. This can cultivate the habit of proceeding from objective reality.In addition, we must constantly strengthen our self-control, so that we can rest when it is time to rest.

Self-control expert hot comment
The ultimate principle of self-control is harmony, so you have to strike a balance between work and rest, career and family.You can try a law of life balance, which is used to check and balance work and life.That is to divide life into four parts: health, time, freedom and happiness, and assign the proportion and order according to individual conditions.If each element is present, the attitudes and emotions reflected in the work will be more peaceful, thus achieving proper balance.Being in balance for a long time can enhance self-control and develop good habits.

Test your inner strength
Psychologists believe that the super high psychological endurance that most people think is just a fragile egg shell, which will collapse with a light tap.So, don't blindly think that you are a psychological superman!The following quiz can help you truly analyze your psychological endurance.

(1) What was your childhood like?
·Spent under the pampering of parents. --0 marks

・Spent in a rather lonely situation. --1 point

·My relationship with my parents is average. --2 minutes

(2) What is your current economic ability?

·The income is not too high, but everything is enough. --0 marks

·The income is quite ample, and you can buy luxury goods to your heart's content. --1 point

·Every month is a moonlight family. --2 minutes

(3) Which of the following situations is more in line with your situation in the company?
·It is a pain to work with people who have different temperaments. --0 marks

·I am always wary of newcomers. --1 point

·Everyone thinks I am a team player. --2 minutes

(4) When you can't fall asleep, your general options are:
· Take sleeping pills, in short, let yourself fall asleep. --0 marks

Use counting sheep. --1 point

· If you can't fall asleep, you can't sleep, get up and surf the Internet or watch episodes. --2 minutes

(5) A colleague from the company came downstairs to your house without saying hello, and called to say that he would come up to play, what would you do?
·Very angry, shocked that there is such a person who doesn't know how to respect other people's privacy, so I try to reject it. --0 marks

· There is no way to let them come up, but I am still very unhappy. --1 point

·It is very happy to welcome them to spend Happyhour. --2 minutes

(6) You are watching TV with your friends, and when you turn the channel, you suddenly see a singer you hate singing, but your friend is very interested, will you?
·Covered his eyes with his hands, yelled that it was too disgusting to watch, and told him to change the channel. --0 marks

·Use another method to get him to switch channels. --1 point

·Don't say anything, anyway, the singer will be leaving soon. --2 minutes

(7) What was your situation when you encountered unpleasant things recently?

·I am completely unlucky, bad things keep happening, and I feel more and more distressed every time. --0 marks

· Work hard to support, even if it is bad to the extreme, there will always be a turning point. --1 point

· A little unhappy, but soon able to stick to the past. --2 minutes

(8) Which of the following do you think is the most appropriate evaluation from your boss?
·The sense of responsibility is super strong, and you will not be able to eat or sleep well for important things that have not been completed. --0 marks

· Know how to take into account the overall situation, good at uniting everyone's strength. --1 point

·First-class ability, best at developing troubled markets. --2 minutes

(9) If you need a new hairstyle, what kind of hair salon do you usually consider?
·Ask a colleague or friend to introduce a familiar hair salon first, and you must have a 50% chance of success before you get a haircut. --0 marks

·Find a more famous hair salon. --1 point

·Depending on your mood, you may just walk into a house after get off work one day. --2 minutes

(10) How is your physical condition?

·As long as you have a cold, you will be infected. --0 marks

· When you are in a bad mood, your body will become poor. --1 point

· It is common to be sick once or twice a year. --2 minutes

(11) If the sales lady ignored you when shopping in a famous brand store, would you?

·To complain to the manager of a famous store, you must force the sales lady to apologize. --0 marks

·Very upset, ridiculed her, and asked her friends not to go there to buy things. --1 point

·Laugh it off, why bother to be familiar with them. --2 minutes

(12) Going to bed two hours late will make you noticeably less energetic the next day?

· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(13) After watching a thriller for a long time, you always feel lingering fear?
· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(14) Do you often feel tired from life?

· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(15) Do you feel very upset when you miss a bus?

· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(16) When you have a disagreement with your friends, you have been unable to eliminate the embarrassment in getting along with each other?
· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(17) Whenever you go to a new place, do you feel uncomfortable with eating, sleeping, diarrhea, dizziness, etc.?
· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(18) Are you picky about eating?
· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(19) When you have trouble with your family, have you ever thought of running away from home?

· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(20) When you see the symptoms of some diseases in books or newspapers, will you start to check with your own status quo?
· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(21) Do you feel scared when you see snakes, cockroaches and other animals?
· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(22) Do you often lie in bed and cannot fall asleep for a long time due to cranky thoughts?
· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

(23) Do you feel embarrassed to speak in a crowded place or in front of strangers?
· Yes - 0 points

· No - 2 points

Test Results:

Under 15: Flowers in the Greenhouse
Your psychological endurance is weak and you cannot withstand sudden changes.

This may be related to your smooth sailing upbringing.Your mind is fragile, you can't stand any stimulation, let alone unexpected blows, even if you are slightly unsatisfactory, it will make you restless.This is your big weakness.It is recommended that you take the initiative to expand your psychological tolerance and happily accept the challenges of life.At the same time, they are also bearish on personal gains and losses, because the ability to cope with difficulties is ultimately the ability to bear the loss of personal interests.

16 to 25 points: Intellectuals who are strong on the outside but capable on the inside

Your mental capacity is average.

You are vigorous and resolute on weekdays, stand alone, high-spirited, and talk endlessly in front of your sisters and buddies, but in fact, deep down in your heart, you are not as shrewd and powerful as you appear on the surface.Under normal circumstances, there will be no problems, but in the face of major changes, there will be some troubles. Don’t think that you are a superman who can bear everything and bear all the problems by yourself. In fact, you are just used to bearing pressure. But did not really learn how to eliminate tension.

The best way is to learn more techniques of self-relaxation, moderately reduce your various affairs, and regain the balance in your life.

25 points or more: spiritual nobility
It's not easy, your mind is as strong as you think it is.

A type like you dares to meet the challenges of fate, and can deal with the shock waves from life calmly and calmly.Your heart is full of stability and peace, tolerance and humility, hopes and dreams. You understand what you really need and how to get happiness.However, it is still recommended that you don’t make yourself too tired, take more time to relax, knowing how to relax is the secret recipe to ensure a good state every day!

(End of this chapter)