Super self-control: not being a slave to habit

Chapter 31

To develop new habits, you must also unswervingly adhere to the completion of the established plan. Of course, in order to ensure the feasibility of the plan, you must think twice before making a decision.But once a plan is made on the basis of deliberation, it must be implemented unswervingly, and cannot be easily changed or given up.If you give up halfway, you will seriously weaken your self-control.

A person with weak self-control will have many irresistible temptations, manifested in many bad and bad habits. At this time, we can use this method from Franklin.

Franklin mentioned this method in his autobiography: he first listed the 13 virtues that need to be acquired the most. He believed that if you want to acquire these virtues, you can't try them all at once, but within a period of time ( For example, within a week) concentrate on mastering one of these virtues.After we have mastered that virtue, we will then start to pay attention to the other one, and within a certain period of time, we should also pay attention to applying the learning results of the first two virtues, and so on until we have mastered all of them in the 13th middle school.At the same time, because some virtues acquired first can facilitate the cultivation of other virtues, he arranged the 13 virtues in the following order:
(1) Temperance.Don't eat enough, don't drink alcohol.

(2) Reticent.Words must be beneficial to others and yourself, avoid useless chat.

(3) Order of life.There should be a certain place for everything, and a certain time for every daily business.

(4) DETERMINATION.What must be done must be done, and what is determined to be done should be persistent.

(5) Frugality.The use of money must be beneficial to others or to oneself, in other words, refrain from wasting.

(6) Diligence.Don't waste time, do useful things every moment, and abstain from all unnecessary actions.

(7) Sincere.Do not deceive, think purely and justly, and speak likewise.

(8) Justice.Don't do things that harm others to benefit yourself, and don't forget to fulfill your obligations that are beneficial to others.

(9) Moderation.Avoid extremes, and bear with them when they give you what you deserve.

(10) CLEANING.Body, clothing, and dwellings strive to be clean.

(11) SEDATION.Do not be dismayed by trifles or common unavoidables.

(12) CHESTITY.Except for the sake of health or offspring, intercourse should be infrequent, never excessive, or injurious to the body, or to injure the peace or reputation, either of yourself or of others.

(13) Humble.Follow the example of Jesus and Socrates.

Franklin checks in on his progress daily.He made a pamphlet and assigned each virtue to a page, and each page was drawn in red ink in 7 columns, or the 7 days of the week; a virtue.When you check each day, if you find a fault in the two or three virtues you focus on, put a black dot in the corresponding space.

I have to admire the ingenuity of this method, and its most prominent advantage is simplicity.The method of drawing points is much easier than writing summaries every day, so it is easy to persist for a long time; the intuitive table makes it easy for us to sum up after a week so that we only need to estimate the points.We found that (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (11) (12) of these thirteen virtues are all virtues of self-control.We can also list the virtues we think are the most important, and then see which virtue our bad habits violate. When we learn good habits in a targeted manner, we should pay attention to get rid of that bad habit.

In fact, this method, to be precise, is a method of supervision and self-examination, because if you don't know whether you are progressing or regressing to learn, it is absolutely difficult to achieve the best results.When implementing this method, we need the support of other methods to improve self-control, because it is not easy for a person with weak self-control to persist in a virtue within a week.

Habits are easier to form when we are young, but if we are past our age, it is not too late to start controlling them.

The following pieces of advice are worth keeping in mind:

Number one: Our mental systems must be made our allies, not our enemies.

Rule [-]: When forming new habits or breaking old ones, proceed with caution and strive for the initiative.

Those who form good habits from an early age have pure motives, so it is important to focus on developing good habits and promoting good motivation.Let yourself have both ways, instead of playing with fire and setting yourself on fire because of bad habits.Let today be a brand new day from now on.Reflect on why you are doing this, and if it doesn't help you, then give up immediately.Don't just keep doing it out of habit just because you do it every time.

Otherwise, you are indulging bad habits, and every time you re-judgment, you can break the shackles of habit that imprison you.

Rule number three: Never allow accidents to happen until a new habit is fully ingrained in your life.Never give up before a new habit is formed, otherwise all previous efforts will be wasted.There are always two opposing tendencies: one is to persist, and the other is to want to give up.Through constant repetition, you can become strong.Strengthen your will and strengthen your ability to stand against all opposing views.

Article [-]: After making up your mind, seize every possible opportunity and every possible improvement to promote the early formation of habits.

Once a decision is made, it's worthless if you don't stick with it.Do everything possible to ensure that the decision is implemented.Because not only will it benefit you, but it will also give you the opportunity to train your brain cells and physiological coordination, training that will form new habits for carrying out your plans. "The more a person can put ideas into action, the more he can form the habit of action, and the more he can promote the development of the brain in a favorable direction. If a resolution dies before it blossoms and bears fruit, then it is often more important than losing an opportunity horrible."

If you can make up your mind, it will form a habit of great value.Giving up easily can be dangerous.Therefore, regardless of whether it is important or not, it must be persisted.Remember, it's important to stick to one thing, whether it's trivial or important, because doing so helps form a habit.

Rule [-]: Do a little practice every day to keep your body active.

Self-control expert hot comment
It is relatively easy to form a habit. Repeating for more than 21 days will form a habit, and repeating for 90 days will form a stable habit. It is relatively difficult to break a habit. Once the self-control is relaxed, the old habit will take root again. Even worse.The greatest enemy in the world is yourself, and the greatest success is to defeat yourself.To fight against bad habits, you must challenge yourself, restrain yourself, reflect on yourself, and use extraordinary willpower to fight the "protracted war" against bad habits.

Do you have good behavior habits
All successful people have one thing in common, that is, a daily behavior pattern based on good habits.Do you have good daily behaviors?Let's do a simple test.

Please choose the following questions: "Yes", "Occasionally, "No"

(1) Do not clean up the room by yourself.

(2) My own room is disorganized.

(3) Doing things lacks organization.

(4) Impatient for quick success, frizzy.

(5) No patience for careful observation.

(6) Do everything without analysis.

(7) When you find a problem, you like to ask others as soon as possible.

(8) Relatively careless, unable to find problems in life and study.

(9) Spending money indiscriminately and recklessly.

(10) Insufficient understanding of the concept of money.

(11) Not helping parents with housework.

(12) Do not participate in group activities, and do not undertake team tasks.

(13) Don't dare to walk at night, dare not stay at home alone.

(14) I dare not speak when I see strangers.

(15) Promised good things are quickly forgotten.

(16) I am not happy to hear criticism from others.

(17) Doing things always leads to darkness.

(18) Eating without restraint.

(19) Likes to eat while watching TV, reading, or walking.

(20) I don't like sports, and like to lie on the sofa when I'm full.

(21) Will take the initiative to assume their responsibilities.

(22) Never make excuses when you make a mistake.

(23) Adventurous and courageous.

(24) Able to plan their own income reasonably.

(25) Able to resist certain temptations.

(26) I will refuse to do things I don't like to do.

(27) Able to complete various tasks on time.

(28) Can quickly recover from setbacks.

(29) Try to make various plans and implement them strictly.

(30) Actively ask to participate in various learning and training activities.

Scoring criteria:

1~20题选“是”得0分，选“偶尔”得1分，选“否”得2分；
21~30题选“是”得2分，选“偶尔”得1分，选“否”得0分。

Test Results:

50~60 points: Getting such a score shows that you have a strong self-management ability and manage your life and work in an orderly manner.Such excellent behavior habits will surely bring you a bright future.

40~50 points: You have very good behavior habits, but there are still some flaws in some subtleties, which need to be continuously improved and perfected day by day.

30~40 points: Your behavior habits are relatively successful, but there are still many shortcomings.Some bad behaviors and habits should be corrected immediately, and they must not be taken lightly.

Below 30 points: Unfortunately, many of your behaviors are not benign. This is a very worrying problem. If you let it develop, you will take more detours in your future life.

(End of this chapter)