Alternative Telling of Dream of Red Mansions: Cherishing Spring

Chapter 40
In the afternoon, it suddenly started to rain.Ruhua was lying on the bed, her heart was watery, damp and turbulent as if a dike had burst, and the slightest movement disturbed her.While tossing and turning on the bed, she heard someone calling Liang'er from outside the room: "Young master, young master, don't run away, fall carefully, Madam is sleeping in the middle of a rest!" The footsteps approached, and she knew that the servant could not call him , Lianger Oedipus, will definitely come back to find her.

Ruhua had no choice but to pack up her mood and get up from the bed, and sat in front of the dressing table to comb herself. She didn't want Liang'er to see her lonely appearance, and he didn't want him to notice her sadness.Only when you become a parent yourself can you realize that the emotions that parents are used to hiding are not just for the sake of face, sometimes they just don’t want to make the children worry and feel ashamed.I always want to leave my children with a clean heart, and what I see is Taoyuan.

She put her back into a bun, and Liang'er came in bouncing around. "Mother. They said you were sleeping in the middle of the rest, and they didn't let me come to you." Liang'er got close to her when he saw her, no more alienated from his father. The innocence and tenderness of a rich, affectionate child.

"You child." When Ruhua saw his energetic face, he couldn't help but feel tenderness in his heart. No matter how big his worries were, he temporarily let go, looked at him lovingly, and said with a smile, "You are after school, today What did the teacher teach? Did you listen carefully?"

"Mr. has already talked about "Encouraging Learning", and he asked me to endorse it. I didn't get a board today." Liang'er raised her hand and said.

"That's great!" Ru Hua smiled, "You've grown up!" Seeing that the suede boots on Liang'er's feet were wet, he smiled and shook his head and said, "These shoes are also for wading in water? Let your father see it for a while, It is inevitable that I will train you again!"

Speaking of the intention, Liang'er curled his lips: "Father is the most annoying!" Even though he said so, he was still vague about the intention, looking out of the door with an expression of dissatisfaction, afraid that the intention would appear suddenly.Seeing his uncomfortable look, Ruhua smiled softly: "Don't look, your father has already gone outside at this time. If he was at home, would he still allow you to be so presumptuous?"

Liang'er stuck out her tongue and smiled, and quietly breathed a sigh of relief. "That's right!" He brightened his face as if remembering something, took out a package from his arms, and opened it carefully. "What is this?" Seeing the seriousness on his little face, Ru Hua couldn't help but pursed his lips and asked with a smile.

While talking, Liang'er opened the package, pointed to the things in the package and asked Ru Hua, "Mother, is this yours?" Ru Hua took a closer look, but it was a golden bar.Looking at the painting, it was not his own, nor did it look like something common at home, so he asked, "Where did it come from?" Liang'er replied, "I saw it in my father's study, and thought it belonged to my mother. Just bring it here. Mother, isn’t this your thing?”

"It's not mother's. Maybe it's from someone in the pawn shop. Your father will take it back." Ru Hua responded casually.Liang'er panicked: "Then I'd better send it back. If Dad comes back and finds that the things are not there, he will scold me again!"

"It doesn't matter. Mother will take it there in a while." Ruhua forced a smile and said to Liang'er, "Go and change your boots first, your feet will get frostbite after freezing. If you try hard today, mother will allow you to play by yourself, if you are hungry Already, ask Mrs. Liu to make something for you to eat."

Although Liang'er didn't give up on painting, after all, he was a child at heart, and he was always happy to see his mother willing to let him play. He respectfully bowed to Jinhua, turned and ran out.Ruhua sent Liang'er away, and then let out the bitterness and sadness on his face.She looked at the golden bar thoughtfully, and her intuition told her that there must be something wrong with the golden bar. What she said just now was used to prevaricate the child. She naturally knew the reason for it. She never brought back pawns from the pawn shop. At the end of each month, it is managed by the general manager in the shop.

Women's things must be related to women.A flash of inspiration came to Ruhua's mind, and she had a hypothesis. She almost guessed who the owner of this object was, but she was still unwilling to be sure.Thinking of that person, her heart choked, as if someone had stabbed her hard with a golden comb's teeth. "Come here!" Ruhua walked to the door and opened the curtain and called.The servant girl serving in the corridor came at the sound.

"Go and call my master's servant, Liu Yan, and tell him to wait for me in the Baosha in front!" She ordered with a cold face.Seeing her unkind expression, the servant girl didn't dare to neglect her, so she trotted away.

Entering the painting, I went to Baoxia and waited. Outside, it was rainy and drizzling.The room on the left side of Baoxia is dimly lit, and Ruhua sits alone in the room, staring at the golden bar in a daze. The thing is like a ball of fire that irritates her eyes and her heart.After looking at the painting for a while, I turned my eyes out of the window. The rain in the yard was getting heavier. The begonias and cannas that were still swaying in the morning were struggling in the bitter wind and rain, and they were in a panic.Looking into the painting, bitterness appeared in her eyes that she hadn't even noticed.

People are not plants, but they are like plants.There were sunny days between her and Lai Yi'er, but now it's not like the flowers and plants in this courtyard are suffering?

After a while, the servant girl came with Liuyan and stood at the door.

"Others back down, leaving smoke to come in." Ru Hua glanced at the door and said.

"Ma'am." Liu Yan bowed to her on the ground, then stood up and asked, "What do you want me to tell you?"

"You didn't go out with Master today?" Ru Hua said leisurely.

"Grandpa took Steward Ren to the chamber of commerce today, and told the younger one not to follow."

"I know where Grandpa went, so you don't have to be cautious." Ru Hua smiled slightly, "I didn't call you here today to interrogate you, but I wanted to buy a piece of jewelry, and I wanted you to run for me."

Although Liu Yan lowered his head, he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when he heard the words.Ru Hua has been paying attention to his expression, and secretly sneers when he sees it. "Just follow this golden comb, and the pattern can't be wrong." She threw the golden comb to him on the ground.Liu Yan took the golden bar in his hand, as if being scalded by it, raised his head to look at the painting, then lowered his head in bewilderment.He already understood the meaning of entering the painting in his heart.

"Madam...I..." Liu Yan was flustered, and under the gaze of the painting, she fell to her knees with a plop, and kowtowed repeatedly!

Ruhua leaned on the kang and looked at him, still calm, nothing unusual. "You told me the truth, who owns this thing? If you are telling the truth, I will put the gold bar back, and I will not ask any more questions. The guardian does not know that you said it, but if you refuse to tell, look at it I want to be a loyal minister, but I have to remind you that besides the master, I am the master of the house, the master may be able to protect you for a while, but he cannot protect you forever!"

"The young one is not a fool, the young one is willing to tell Madam everything he knows." Liu Yan kowtowed.

"Say it!" Ru Hua sat up straight and sternly said.She was abrupt and serious like a dagger that had just been pulled out, and her cold light made it impossible for anyone to look at her without fear.But who knew that at this moment, Ru Hua, who had an extremely fierce appearance, was also anxious. The anxiety was because of her contradiction: she was afraid of knowing the truth that she didn't want to face.When the truth was about to be revealed, a thought suddenly flashed in Ruhua's heart: She really hoped that Liu Yan would bite the bullet and say she didn't know, and not tell her anything.

However, Liu Yan was overwhelmed by her, and his face turned blue with fright. He knelt there and said: "The person over there is about to celebrate his birthday. Let me polish the original headdress. I will give it to me, let me give it to you." Take it and add a few ounces of gold." He didn't dare to say it was You Shi, and just replaced it with someone from there, but there was something that he couldn't understand in the painting.

"What a good thing you did!" Ru Hua scolded sharply, not sure if he was scolding Liu Yan or because of his intentions!Although she had expected it long ago, when she learned the truth, she was still so angry that her face turned pale and her hands and feet were cold.Ru Hua was so angry that he couldn't hold back his anger, he knocked the teacup to the ground with a flick of his hand, Liu Yan was so frightened by this movement that he knelt there and dared not move!There was no movement for a long time, Liu Yan glanced quietly, and was meeting Ru Hua's furious gaze, and was so frightened that he didn't even dare to move his eyes.He usually only saw dignified and rigorous paintings, but he had never seen her in such a turbulent and stern attitude to extract a confession.I am afraid that if I deal with it carelessly, I will become a victim of the wrath of the mistress.

"Get up." Ruhua got down from the kang and walked to Liuyan, and said with a livid face, "Get me a car right away, I want to go there!" After speaking, he walked towards the yard angrily, panicking the people in the veranda. Maids and maids put up umbrellas for those who hold umbrellas, and those with cloaks wrap around them to serve.

"Hurry up!" Ru Hua turned his head and shouted at the hesitant Liu Yan.The matter has come to this point, Liu Yan knew that dawdling was useless, so he didn't dare to hesitate any longer, he gritted his teeth and ran out of the garden to prepare the car.

The whole city seemed to be soaked, watery and wet everywhere, like a woman complaining about Ai.People who sell snacks and goods on the street have closed their stalls early, and it is not time to eat, and the attentive waiters in front of restaurants and teahouses have also disappeared.A few pedestrians who took shelter from the rain hurriedly walked on the street.The car came out from the back door of Zhang's house and drove all the way to Yangjiao Hutong in Di'anmen.First it snowed, now it rained, and it was so cold that the skin felt knotted.

Liu Yan outside the car was so cold that his teeth chattered, and the cold rain hit his face, his lips were so cold that his lips were black and purple, and it was difficult for him to even speak.He looked not far from Youshi's residence, turned back and shouted into the car: "Ma'am, it's just ahead!"

"Let's go back." A voice came from the car.

"Ah?" Liu Yan feared that he had heard wrong, reined in the horse's head, turned around and asked again, "Ma'am, what did you say!"

"Go back!" Ru Hua lifted the curtain on the car, showed his face and said coldly, his determination was beyond doubt.Liu Yan didn't dare to ask more questions even though he was doubtful, he immediately turned his horse's head and went back.

Sitting in the car into the painting looks dignified.Just a moment ago, she suddenly changed her mind: why did she rush over in such a big way?That would be tantamount to agreeing with Youshi's threat to her, and the threat was so great that he had to go out to deal with it himself.How unwise!Perhaps, what Youshi waited for so long was that she couldn't stand arguing with her.

She refused to give her this chance!She doesn't let her live in peace, and she can't let her get what she wants.This is a silent battle.Just tell her to stay quietly in this small alley, holding her aging face and faint hope and waiting, let her be hung in the air like a hooked fish, let her live to dry, slowly being secreted by the body Desperately dry.

There is a deep sea in front of her eyes, even though she is on the sea at this moment, she is very emaciated, she still wants Youshi to be the woman standing on the shore, and I don't know when she will be eligible to board the boat.

Taking a breath, he smiled calmly.She settled down.She is no longer the weak little girl ten years ago, ten years have polished her more clearly.Lai Yier is her husband, the father of the child, and no one can take it away.For this, she will persevere and fight with the women around him.In the years to come, they will continue to fight and torture each other... But who is to blame?In this world, don't you eat me and I eat you among women?The clouds and rain have turned into tears, which one can really be liberated?
She thought of Xichun, who had bid farewell to her farewell, and didn't know where she was going alone.She suddenly envied her: Xichun is not lonely, and she is not lonely either. It is those people who can't think about it or let go of them who are really suffering.

She is not Xichun.She still couldn't let it go, and she was still willing to stay in the world and spend the rest of her life doing it.

When I came back, the evening was quiet and the showers had just stopped.There is a damp and lonely smell in the air, the stale smell of tree bark and fallen leaves soaked by rain and snow seems unwilling to dissipate, desperately trying to imprint the smell into people's minds before it disappears completely.Ruhua took the golden bar and went to Lai Yier's study.There was no one there, and when the door was opened, there was a smell of books mixed with the smell of wood, eagerly greeted.

She hesitated at the door for a while, as if he was working inside, and she walked over to avoid disturbing him, but the chair in front of the desk was empty, and a ray of light made dust float on the empty place.With a flash in her heart, she walked over and put the golden bar on the table, then turned around and went to his bookshelf to look at the books he put on it.

She took out a book, turned around and sat in his place to read.At this moment, she imagined herself as the man sitting here every day, his behavior, his behavior and thoughts, she imitated them one by one.

Ten years later, there will be such a deep desire, such as the desire to push open a heavy wooden door, trying to walk into his deep and tossing world.She thought carefully about the past ten years. She had children for him, took care of the family for him, and only wanted to be his good wife. She hardly cared about his business affairs. He rarely communicates.She thought that would be enough!Now I don't know enough, when he took all the risks alone, although she was at ease, her relationship with him was also dull!She couldn't tell when Yi'er would be happy and when she would be worried. This man's emotions gradually became far away from her, so far away that he was singing with others while gathering firewood on the mountain. , Hu Bugui?"

For your heart, for my heart, I know each other deeply.However, now that they are getting further and further away from each other, she is afraid that it will be too late.Those past events caressed the broken hair on the back of her head like water waves.Under the connivance of this gentle water wave, she slowly cried out.

Lai Yi'er stood at the door, her eyes dark and unpredictable.When he came back and saw Ruhua in the study, he was terrified, as if seeing a distant visitor who hadn't visited for a long time.This experienced person was suddenly at a loss.When he saw her cry, his heart was as soft and heavy as if it had been stuffed with wet cotton.But at that step, he couldn't make it no matter what.He was afraid that he wouldn't know how to comfort him when he got in, and that when people reached a certain age, they began to lose their ability to express themselves directly.Relatively silent is the most heartbreaking.

That hesitation was as deep as a river, blocking his approaching steps.He quietly turned and left, his figure flitting past the window, like a swallow leaving a branch in the waning spring.

They did not see each other as they ate.After the meal, the nanny took Liang'er away, and when Lai Yi'er passed by Ruhua after eating, she said, "I'll sleep in the study tonight." Ruhua was speechless.Her heart seemed to be stabbed severely by that golden bar again.

But it really has nothing to do with the golden bar, that thing is so important in Ruhua's heart, but it is not worth mentioning in Lai Yi'er's eyes.When he came to the study, he didn't even look at the thing, what about the fineness, what about the embellishment, he left it to Liu Yan to do it.That's just entertainment for You Shi.She followed him for several years, he didn't want to get the reputation of treating women badly, even Xie Luan and Pei Feng also took steps.

He didn't turn on the lamp, leaned on the chair and frowned, the picture of sitting here crying in the afternoon in the painting kept appearing in his mind like a rising tide.

For my heart, for your heart, I know each other deeply.He found that his marriage was full of thorns, embracing each other through the thorns, both of them were in pain.Over the years, no matter how many major events happened, he never disturbed him, and he gradually transformed himself into a calm, moody Boss Zhang.But he couldn't figure out what went wrong between himself and Ruhua.

He thought, maybe the root problem lies in himself. There is a wound in his heart that has never been properly nursed, and he has been trying his best to cover it up.As a result, the surface of the scar becomes shallower, but the inner part festers deeper.The older I get, the easier it is for me to recall my childhood with Jia Zhen.Those dreams are indescribable, a little shameful, a little passionate, with a mandala flower-like blurred and crazy temperament.Gradually he began to recollect, and began to be confused, which of those things were voluntary and which were persecuted?He fell into doubt, and unknowingly began to alienate himself from the painting.She is a pure woman, but he is not necessarily a pure man.These chaotic emotions spread out and bound him inextricably.He is like a silkworm spinning silk, secretly indulging in such confusing emotions.

After having Liang'er, his emotional distress did not ease, but became more obvious.After the child was born, he seemed to be out of control, and his heart was even more turbulent. He fulfilled the responsibility of being a father to Liang Er, but he couldn't love him passionately and innocently.This child seems to be used only to prove his masculinity and to serve as an account of himself to his ancestors.

When Lai Yier saw the golden bar, he picked it up, stared at it for a long time, and suddenly remembered that this was the first time You Shi sent him a pawn shop, he threw the golden bar aside, sneered stand up.He suddenly understood the reason why Youshi singled out this thing to make people polish: the woman tried to remind him in this way, that she had known him for a long time, reminded him not to forget her achievements, and even hinted that he should take her over as soon as possible. Come in.

What a delusion!Lai Yi'er clenched her fists and laughed sinisterly: Women are all things that have to look forward to Shu!He has his own bottom line in this game.He doesn't take concubines, let alone let them in. He can weigh the pros and cons to take them in, but he will never let those women who used to dictate to him get a chance to get closer to him.He doesn't give them a chance to be self-righteous.

There will always be only one of his wives, and they will go on forever.It's just that each other falls in love with roses like hedgehogs, and weep while keeping warm.Maybe I have to wait a little longer, a little longer, until I am very old, the edges and corners of my heart will be smoothed, the wings will be put away, and I will no longer move around.Only when the heart truly becomes a mirror that can reflect the whole life, can each other be caring and comfort each other.

The road before that will be painful and tiring, and if you don't pay attention, you will fall off the cliff and there will be no bones left.What we are attached to is the ray of dawn on the top of the mountain, the hope that we have been searching for all our lives - the true value of love and existence.Even if forever is fleeting.Seeing it is enough to warm a lifetime.

Lai Yi'er was disturbed, so he dropped the golden bar casually to the ground. His eyes had been in the dark for a long time, and he could see the golden light shining on the golden bar, like small pieces of fragments of the rest of his life after a catastrophe. An era long dead.

He remembered the past.I clearly remember that it was the time when Ruhua was pregnant, but I can't remember the specific day.At that time, he had just opened his first pawn shop, and he was very worried about it, and he had to visit it the next day.That day, he was shopping for pawnshops in the store, especially antiques that had to be learned by looking at real objects. He didn't want to be an ignorant empty boss, and would practice his eyesight with the old shopkeeper at the counter when he had time.

(End of this chapter)