To Youth: Secretly Falling in Love with You
Chapter 62 Guilt
Chapter 62 Guilt
Fu Jiani still stayed in the hospital. It wasn't Tian Yuan's request, but she knew that Tian Yuan didn't feel safe. In order to make Tian Yuan feel at ease, she also wanted Cai Yilian to understand who she really loved in her heart. Who.
Of course, Tian Yuan didn't have any objection to this. The two of them stayed in the hospital for three days, and during these three days, the world was turned upside down.
Although Cai Yilian still has no love for Jiani, and he has no love for Lin Yanxi, but the two have known each other for many years, and he does not dislike Lin Yanxi.However, Lin Yanxi said the word divorce easily. It was because of her that he gave up his relationship with Fu Jiani. No matter how much he loved him, he never said it, but she, she said divorce easily.
Cai Yilian thought, he is not someone who comes and goes when he is called, if Lin Yanxi really wants to divorce, he will not bother her.What's more, all these years, Lin Yanxi has delayed herself because of him. Since he can't love her, it's good to give her freedom.
With concerns in his heart, Cai Yilian began to prepare for this matter. Of course, Cai Yilian also hesitated about this matter, but in the end he forcibly suppressed all the strange emotions in his heart.
Cai Yilian leaned over the desk, looked at the white paper in front of him, sometimes frowned and sometimes relaxed, finally he sighed and started to write on the paper.
The words 'divorce agreement' appeared on the paper, and Cai Yilian put down the pen again. For some reason, he felt that the pen weighed a thousand catties.
Taking out a cigarette from the drawer, Cai Yilian lit it, and Lin Yanxi's sad look when she watched him smoke flashed in his mind.
I remember that at that time he and Lin Yanxi were married and had their honeymoon. If someone else would have been extremely happy about their honeymoon, however, he married someone he didn't love, someone he regarded as his younger sister, and the one he loved, Being hurt by this fruitless love, his heart is also suffering.
He had to suppress the urge to run away with Fu Jiani desperately, he had to endure the deep lovesickness, and he had to stay with the person he didn't love for the rest of his life.
All kinds of helplessness made him feel depressed, and it was precisely because of this that he started smoking and drinking.
Thinking about it carefully, he did treat Lin Yanxi badly these years.Cai Yilian snuffed out the cigarette in his hand, closed his eyes and recalled the scene at that time.
Others spend their honeymoon happily and sweetly. When the wife acts like a baby to her husband, the husband will smile dotingly.But when she came to him, it was always Lin Yanxi who went to the bar to find him who was so drunk.
Sometimes, he would fall into a deep sleep when he was drunk, and she would help him to go home.Sometimes he would also think about how the thin Lin Yanxi could help the 1.8-year-old back to the hotel they booked?
And he has a lot of problems when he is drunk, like vomiting when he touches the bed.Frankly speaking, if he hadn't met Fu Jiani again, he would probably really fall in love with Lin Yanxi, and Lin Yanxi was indeed more suitable for life than Fu Jiani.
She and he, who came back to the hotel early in the morning, had to face the filth he vomited on the floor. If Fu Jiani would definitely quarrel with him and act like a baby to him, but Lin Yanxi endured everything silently, knowing that he He loves to be clean, and every time before he wakes up, he will clean up the filth and scrub his body clean.
During that time, he slept comfortably every night, but Lin Yanxi had to wash her clothes.He didn't know when she fell asleep, only that she woke up every time he woke up.
The dark circles on her face got worse day by day, and her eyes were filled with deep sadness, but she still managed to smile at him.
He is not a cold hearted person, not to mention the choice is his own, there is no need for him to punish himself and Lin Yanxi at the same time in this way.
He stopped drinking heavily, but he started smoking, sometimes a pack a day, sometimes a pack and a half a day.
Lin Yanxi no longer needed to go to the bar to look for him every day, but the sadness in her eyes had never diminished.
Scenes of the past flashed through his mind one by one. Cai Yilian leaned back on the chair and tilted his head slightly. After a long while, he opened his eyes, picked up the pen again and began to write seriously one by one on the paper.
Outside the door, Lin Yanxi stood outside the door with bare feet, looking at the closed study door, with tears streaming down her eyes.
She remembered a time when she went to the street with her best friend, and what her best friend said to her at that time: "What is not yours is not yours after all. Even if you try your best, you can't hope that those who walk forward will look back at you." .”
At that time, she laughed it off and didn't take her best friend's words seriously, but now, Lin Yanxi smiled bitterly, and she realized how correct these words were.
"Hmm..." Just as she was thinking, her stomach suddenly churned. Lin Yanxi's complexion changed, and she quickly ran to the bathroom and lay down by the sink. However, she didn't vomit anything except retching.
Cai Yilian heard the movement in the study, his heart tightened, he quickly got up and rushed to the bathroom, and saw Lin Yanxi wearing thin lace pajamas, leaning against the sink with bare feet and an ugly face.
Cai Yilian's complexion changed, he stepped forward and asked nervously: "What's wrong with you? Are you sick? Or did you eat badly at night?"
A series of questions were asked. If it was Lin Yanxi in the past, she would be so happy that she didn't know what to do. But now, when she heard Cai Yilian's words, she sneered and said, "Will you care about me? You The person you miss is in the hospital, are you dying of heartache?"
After saying that, Lin Yanxi felt a little regretful, she didn't know what happened to her these few days, she couldn't control her emotions.
Sure enough, Cai Yilian's complexion changed again when he heard her words, he looked at Lin Yanxi's sneering face, suppressed his anger and said: "Lin Yanxi, don't you know what's good or bad, although I don't love you, but I don't love you that much." ruthless."
I do not love you!Just four words made Lin Yanxi's already pale face even more white like a sheet of white paper, she looked closely at Cai Yilian's face, and smiled sadly: "Cai Yilian, I never thought you would love me , but I don't need you to remind me of this fact."
"I..." Cai Yilian also realized that what he said was too much. He wanted to explain, but he couldn't justify himself. He wanted to apologize, but he found that the person in the world who was least qualified to apologize to Lin Yanxi was himself.
Lin Yanxi didn't wait for Cai Yilian to speak, she tried hard to raise the corners of her lips, but it was in vain.Without looking at Cai Yilian again, she walked straight past Cai Yilian.
Lin Yanxi, who was in grief, didn't notice a puddle of water on the smooth floor, and she was walking across the water barefoot.
"Ah..." The body suddenly lost its center of gravity, she screamed, and she fell to the ground in a whirl.
"It hurts. Yi Lian, my stomach hurts so much." Lin Yanxi lay on the ground in the same posture as when she fell, holding her stomach with her right hand, and weakly yelled at Cai Yilian.There was panic in her voice, and she had a feeling that something was completely leaving her with the pain.
Cai Yilian was a little dazed by the sudden change, and he recovered from his daze when he heard Lin Yanxi asking for help one after another.Without the slightest hesitation, he hugged Lin Yanxi horizontally and ran out of the bathroom in a hurry.
"It's okay, Yanxi, it's okay..." Cai Yilian hugged Lin Yanxi and kept talking in her ear, but he didn't notice the tremor in his voice, he couldn't even tell whether he was comforting her Lin Yanxi was still comforting herself.
When he ran to the living room, he glanced at the blanket on the sofa out of the corner of his eye. Without hesitation, he picked it up and covered Lin Yanxi tremblingly.Under the light, his hands were bloody.
Looking at the blood on his hand in disbelief, he looked at Lin Yanxi again. At this time, Lin Yanxi's eyes were empty, and her eyes seemed to be staring at the ceiling, and seemed to be looking at a distant place through the ceiling, until several hours later, Only then did Cai Yilian understand a little bit, then, it might be called heaven.
Pursing his lips, Cai Yilian suppressed the uneasiness in his heart, he quickly opened the door, and ran to the basement without locking it.
After putting Lin Yanxi in the passenger seat, his hands were shaking all the time, and he couldn't fasten the seat belt no matter what.
Time passed by, and the white seat was already stained red with blood. In addition, Lin Yanxi's pale face, under the dim headlights, looked enchanting and desolate.
Sweat dripped down Cai Yilian's forehead, and with a "click", the seat belt was finally put on, but Cai Yilian did not heave a sigh of relief.He quickly ran to the driver's seat and finished. He didn't bother to fasten his seat belt, so he stepped on the accelerator, and the car flew towards the city hospital like an arrow.Fortunately, it was late at night and there were no traffic.
Galloping all the way, the usual half-hour journey seemed extraordinarily long to Cai Yilian.He looked at Lin Yanxi, who was sitting on the side without saying a word, but kept dripping beads of sweat because of the severe pain. The panic in his heart was like a black hole, constantly expanding.
Finally arrived at the city hospital, Cai Yilian's heart that had nowhere to rest since Lin Yanxi's fall finally felt a little relieved.
"Squeak..." Because the speed of the car was too fast but it braked suddenly, there was a huge friction sound, the wheels were full of sparks, and black scratches appeared on the ground due to the friction, making the ground look terrifying and shocking.
Cai Yilian quickly opened the car door, staggered and ran to the passenger seat door, he hugged Lin Yanxi in his arms as fast as he could, and rushed into the hospital.
The nurse who was still on duty saw a tall and handsome man with disheveled clothes and a nervous expression appearing in her field of vision. Before she had time to go crazy, the man had already yelled at her anxiously: "Doctor, doctor."
Only then did the little nurse see that the man was only wearing a slipper, and he was holding a pale woman in his arms. The blanket on the woman's body was already wet with water.
The little nurse's complexion changed, and she regained consciousness immediately, quickly pressed a series of numbers on the phone, and after saying a few words inside, she quickly took Cai Yilian to the emergency room.
When the three nurses arrived at the emergency room, there was already a middle-aged woman waiting. After the middle-aged woman asked Cai Yilian to put Lin Yanxi on the bed, she drove Cai Yilian out of the emergency room.
Dejected, Cai Yilian punched the wall vigorously, his eyes fixed on the emergency room.
He kept praying in his heart that Lin Yanxi was fine, he hated himself, why didn't he find out that he loved Lin Yanxi until Lin Yanxi was covered in blood.
In just a few minutes, Cai Yilian felt that he had spent most of his life.
The door of the emergency room opened again, Cai Yilian immediately rushed up and asked nervously: "Doctor, how is she?"
The doctor's face was solemn, and when she heard Cai Yilian's words, she directly reprimanded: "How do you become a husband? Don't you know that your wife is pregnant for a month?"
Pregnant!Cai Yilian was taken aback for a moment, then ecstasy flooded his face, he, he is going to be a father.
(End of this chapter)
Fu Jiani still stayed in the hospital. It wasn't Tian Yuan's request, but she knew that Tian Yuan didn't feel safe. In order to make Tian Yuan feel at ease, she also wanted Cai Yilian to understand who she really loved in her heart. Who.
Of course, Tian Yuan didn't have any objection to this. The two of them stayed in the hospital for three days, and during these three days, the world was turned upside down.
Although Cai Yilian still has no love for Jiani, and he has no love for Lin Yanxi, but the two have known each other for many years, and he does not dislike Lin Yanxi.However, Lin Yanxi said the word divorce easily. It was because of her that he gave up his relationship with Fu Jiani. No matter how much he loved him, he never said it, but she, she said divorce easily.
Cai Yilian thought, he is not someone who comes and goes when he is called, if Lin Yanxi really wants to divorce, he will not bother her.What's more, all these years, Lin Yanxi has delayed herself because of him. Since he can't love her, it's good to give her freedom.
With concerns in his heart, Cai Yilian began to prepare for this matter. Of course, Cai Yilian also hesitated about this matter, but in the end he forcibly suppressed all the strange emotions in his heart.
Cai Yilian leaned over the desk, looked at the white paper in front of him, sometimes frowned and sometimes relaxed, finally he sighed and started to write on the paper.
The words 'divorce agreement' appeared on the paper, and Cai Yilian put down the pen again. For some reason, he felt that the pen weighed a thousand catties.
Taking out a cigarette from the drawer, Cai Yilian lit it, and Lin Yanxi's sad look when she watched him smoke flashed in his mind.
I remember that at that time he and Lin Yanxi were married and had their honeymoon. If someone else would have been extremely happy about their honeymoon, however, he married someone he didn't love, someone he regarded as his younger sister, and the one he loved, Being hurt by this fruitless love, his heart is also suffering.
He had to suppress the urge to run away with Fu Jiani desperately, he had to endure the deep lovesickness, and he had to stay with the person he didn't love for the rest of his life.
All kinds of helplessness made him feel depressed, and it was precisely because of this that he started smoking and drinking.
Thinking about it carefully, he did treat Lin Yanxi badly these years.Cai Yilian snuffed out the cigarette in his hand, closed his eyes and recalled the scene at that time.
Others spend their honeymoon happily and sweetly. When the wife acts like a baby to her husband, the husband will smile dotingly.But when she came to him, it was always Lin Yanxi who went to the bar to find him who was so drunk.
Sometimes, he would fall into a deep sleep when he was drunk, and she would help him to go home.Sometimes he would also think about how the thin Lin Yanxi could help the 1.8-year-old back to the hotel they booked?
And he has a lot of problems when he is drunk, like vomiting when he touches the bed.Frankly speaking, if he hadn't met Fu Jiani again, he would probably really fall in love with Lin Yanxi, and Lin Yanxi was indeed more suitable for life than Fu Jiani.
She and he, who came back to the hotel early in the morning, had to face the filth he vomited on the floor. If Fu Jiani would definitely quarrel with him and act like a baby to him, but Lin Yanxi endured everything silently, knowing that he He loves to be clean, and every time before he wakes up, he will clean up the filth and scrub his body clean.
During that time, he slept comfortably every night, but Lin Yanxi had to wash her clothes.He didn't know when she fell asleep, only that she woke up every time he woke up.
The dark circles on her face got worse day by day, and her eyes were filled with deep sadness, but she still managed to smile at him.
He is not a cold hearted person, not to mention the choice is his own, there is no need for him to punish himself and Lin Yanxi at the same time in this way.
He stopped drinking heavily, but he started smoking, sometimes a pack a day, sometimes a pack and a half a day.
Lin Yanxi no longer needed to go to the bar to look for him every day, but the sadness in her eyes had never diminished.
Scenes of the past flashed through his mind one by one. Cai Yilian leaned back on the chair and tilted his head slightly. After a long while, he opened his eyes, picked up the pen again and began to write seriously one by one on the paper.
Outside the door, Lin Yanxi stood outside the door with bare feet, looking at the closed study door, with tears streaming down her eyes.
She remembered a time when she went to the street with her best friend, and what her best friend said to her at that time: "What is not yours is not yours after all. Even if you try your best, you can't hope that those who walk forward will look back at you." .”
At that time, she laughed it off and didn't take her best friend's words seriously, but now, Lin Yanxi smiled bitterly, and she realized how correct these words were.
"Hmm..." Just as she was thinking, her stomach suddenly churned. Lin Yanxi's complexion changed, and she quickly ran to the bathroom and lay down by the sink. However, she didn't vomit anything except retching.
Cai Yilian heard the movement in the study, his heart tightened, he quickly got up and rushed to the bathroom, and saw Lin Yanxi wearing thin lace pajamas, leaning against the sink with bare feet and an ugly face.
Cai Yilian's complexion changed, he stepped forward and asked nervously: "What's wrong with you? Are you sick? Or did you eat badly at night?"
A series of questions were asked. If it was Lin Yanxi in the past, she would be so happy that she didn't know what to do. But now, when she heard Cai Yilian's words, she sneered and said, "Will you care about me? You The person you miss is in the hospital, are you dying of heartache?"
After saying that, Lin Yanxi felt a little regretful, she didn't know what happened to her these few days, she couldn't control her emotions.
Sure enough, Cai Yilian's complexion changed again when he heard her words, he looked at Lin Yanxi's sneering face, suppressed his anger and said: "Lin Yanxi, don't you know what's good or bad, although I don't love you, but I don't love you that much." ruthless."
I do not love you!Just four words made Lin Yanxi's already pale face even more white like a sheet of white paper, she looked closely at Cai Yilian's face, and smiled sadly: "Cai Yilian, I never thought you would love me , but I don't need you to remind me of this fact."
"I..." Cai Yilian also realized that what he said was too much. He wanted to explain, but he couldn't justify himself. He wanted to apologize, but he found that the person in the world who was least qualified to apologize to Lin Yanxi was himself.
Lin Yanxi didn't wait for Cai Yilian to speak, she tried hard to raise the corners of her lips, but it was in vain.Without looking at Cai Yilian again, she walked straight past Cai Yilian.
Lin Yanxi, who was in grief, didn't notice a puddle of water on the smooth floor, and she was walking across the water barefoot.
"Ah..." The body suddenly lost its center of gravity, she screamed, and she fell to the ground in a whirl.
"It hurts. Yi Lian, my stomach hurts so much." Lin Yanxi lay on the ground in the same posture as when she fell, holding her stomach with her right hand, and weakly yelled at Cai Yilian.There was panic in her voice, and she had a feeling that something was completely leaving her with the pain.
Cai Yilian was a little dazed by the sudden change, and he recovered from his daze when he heard Lin Yanxi asking for help one after another.Without the slightest hesitation, he hugged Lin Yanxi horizontally and ran out of the bathroom in a hurry.
"It's okay, Yanxi, it's okay..." Cai Yilian hugged Lin Yanxi and kept talking in her ear, but he didn't notice the tremor in his voice, he couldn't even tell whether he was comforting her Lin Yanxi was still comforting herself.
When he ran to the living room, he glanced at the blanket on the sofa out of the corner of his eye. Without hesitation, he picked it up and covered Lin Yanxi tremblingly.Under the light, his hands were bloody.
Looking at the blood on his hand in disbelief, he looked at Lin Yanxi again. At this time, Lin Yanxi's eyes were empty, and her eyes seemed to be staring at the ceiling, and seemed to be looking at a distant place through the ceiling, until several hours later, Only then did Cai Yilian understand a little bit, then, it might be called heaven.
Pursing his lips, Cai Yilian suppressed the uneasiness in his heart, he quickly opened the door, and ran to the basement without locking it.
After putting Lin Yanxi in the passenger seat, his hands were shaking all the time, and he couldn't fasten the seat belt no matter what.
Time passed by, and the white seat was already stained red with blood. In addition, Lin Yanxi's pale face, under the dim headlights, looked enchanting and desolate.
Sweat dripped down Cai Yilian's forehead, and with a "click", the seat belt was finally put on, but Cai Yilian did not heave a sigh of relief.He quickly ran to the driver's seat and finished. He didn't bother to fasten his seat belt, so he stepped on the accelerator, and the car flew towards the city hospital like an arrow.Fortunately, it was late at night and there were no traffic.
Galloping all the way, the usual half-hour journey seemed extraordinarily long to Cai Yilian.He looked at Lin Yanxi, who was sitting on the side without saying a word, but kept dripping beads of sweat because of the severe pain. The panic in his heart was like a black hole, constantly expanding.
Finally arrived at the city hospital, Cai Yilian's heart that had nowhere to rest since Lin Yanxi's fall finally felt a little relieved.
"Squeak..." Because the speed of the car was too fast but it braked suddenly, there was a huge friction sound, the wheels were full of sparks, and black scratches appeared on the ground due to the friction, making the ground look terrifying and shocking.
Cai Yilian quickly opened the car door, staggered and ran to the passenger seat door, he hugged Lin Yanxi in his arms as fast as he could, and rushed into the hospital.
The nurse who was still on duty saw a tall and handsome man with disheveled clothes and a nervous expression appearing in her field of vision. Before she had time to go crazy, the man had already yelled at her anxiously: "Doctor, doctor."
Only then did the little nurse see that the man was only wearing a slipper, and he was holding a pale woman in his arms. The blanket on the woman's body was already wet with water.
The little nurse's complexion changed, and she regained consciousness immediately, quickly pressed a series of numbers on the phone, and after saying a few words inside, she quickly took Cai Yilian to the emergency room.
When the three nurses arrived at the emergency room, there was already a middle-aged woman waiting. After the middle-aged woman asked Cai Yilian to put Lin Yanxi on the bed, she drove Cai Yilian out of the emergency room.
Dejected, Cai Yilian punched the wall vigorously, his eyes fixed on the emergency room.
He kept praying in his heart that Lin Yanxi was fine, he hated himself, why didn't he find out that he loved Lin Yanxi until Lin Yanxi was covered in blood.
In just a few minutes, Cai Yilian felt that he had spent most of his life.
The door of the emergency room opened again, Cai Yilian immediately rushed up and asked nervously: "Doctor, how is she?"
The doctor's face was solemn, and when she heard Cai Yilian's words, she directly reprimanded: "How do you become a husband? Don't you know that your wife is pregnant for a month?"
Pregnant!Cai Yilian was taken aback for a moment, then ecstasy flooded his face, he, he is going to be a father.
(End of this chapter)
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