Gu Pan Sheng Zi

Chapter 59 Publication Announcement + All Deep Love Is a Secret Side Story
Gu Panshengzi's publication titled "Because I Have Always Loved You" has not yet been distributed nationwide, but it has already been printed and a sample book is out.I wanted to wait until Dangdang or something

一
When I was half a child, I began to receive love letters from girls. Some were written on pink letter paper, some were written on the back of cartoon cards, and some were written on postcards with postage stamps on them... The content is roughly similar, I just Passed by at a glance, lack of interest.There is only one sentence, I have remembered it for so many years after I glanced at it, and I have never forgotten it even now.

When you are sleepless in the middle of the night, when you light a cigarette, you will see bright stars when you look up, but it is just a puff of dust when you look down.The night is cold, but what is really cold to the bone is the human heart.The road I walked was doomed to be alone, and only loneliness could accompany me.But sometimes when I feel lonely, I can't help but think of that sentence, who will accompany me to count the flowers, who is this, I hope that she will appear to talk to me, and I hope she will not come too early.Before the dust settles, any of my promises will be feeble.

However, I was caught off guard, and I met her, Song Yuxi.

That day, Wenzi took me to the newly taken over bar to have a look.It is said that I have never shown up since Heizi took over the bar, and Heizi's collapse is indeed a bit miserable.The rumors about me in the outside world are not very pleasant. They probably say that I am cruel, have a high self-esteem, and take Joe's figure and so on.It leads to instability of people's hearts, which is not conducive to the stability of the bar.

It's Er Ye's intention to kill Heizi, so the notoriety is naturally on my shoulders.It was not easy for the second master to get to where he is today, and he must have been ruthless.I don't care what people outside say about me. From the beginning to the end, what I work hard for is only the second master's opinion.

The business of the bar is very good. Wenzi said that the surrounding area is a university town, so the security management is relatively strict, and there are basically no places where fish and dragons mix.Because of Heizi's background, this place became the only one in a radius of hundreds of miles.The second master took a fancy to this point, so he was bound to win the bar.

The bar was crowded, Wenzi and I found a remote corner to sit down.There are two tables next to women, one table is two women holding cigarettes in flirtatious clothes, and the other table is four girls who look like young schoolgirls.

Wenzi smiled and said: "Brother, look at the years, people have their own interests and go to both ends, and there are pure flirtatious ones..."

I took another look at the four girls. The clothes can be fooled, but the eyes are hard to deceive. They are really students.But it's just a little pitiful.Bars in those days were not places where you could order a drink and listen to music.People with clean net worth can't support such a place, and the people who take care of your business are a mixed bag of good and bad.Naturally, there are also small gangsters who are looking for trouble for nothing, bullying the good and fearing the evil.

Sure enough, they were stalked by a few gangsters.But what I didn't expect was that one of the girls was quick-witted and courageous, and what I didn't expect was that she was able to get involved with me, and took me as a shield for granted.What she said was well-founded, her expression and tone were well-balanced, and she was full of confidence in her unhurriedness, as if there was such a thing.It was only from my angle that I happened to see her trembling hands clasped behind her back.

I don't know if this is a strange coincidence of fate, the lies she fabricated casually turned out to be my real growth experience.Everything that was deliberately buried in the past was brought to the table by someone for the first time, as if the darkness in my heart had also been illuminated.I thought, if it wasn't for such a coincidence, I wouldn't have rescued her.

Wenzi said: "Brother, I haven't seen you lose your position and fight with a gangster for several years. The hero saves the beauty. Brother, you should save a beauty anyway. How can you save a girl student who hasn't grown up?" matter?

What is this?I also asked myself that night.Inexplicably, the sentence came to mind in my mind, who will accompany me to count the flowers.My heart is inexplicably irritable, I think I am too lonely.

The next day, I took Su Xiang home again.I know Wenzi likes her, and I've been wanting her to follow me all these years.But Su Xiang said that she fell in love with me at first sight, and if I want her in this life, she will follow me.If I don't want her, she looks at me.And I don't even remember when I met her.The second master said, Su Xiang is a woman who is suitable for people like us, she knows how to measure and understand things on the scene, and what's more valuable is that she is still devoted to me.I am silent.The second master patted me on the shoulder and said, "Forget it, I'm not a feudal patriarch who arranges marriages. If you don't like it, then don't like it. There are many women, let's choose slowly."

Until the next day, the second master glared at me with blue veins on his forehead. He kicked me down and shouted: "Qin Feng, Qin Feng, you are a fucking bastard. You just picked this one The woman who wants your life."

two

When he was six years old, his father died in the line of duty.The father in memory has the toughness and masculinity of a soldier.He looked dignified in his police uniform.Our family lived in the family building of the public security system. Children of the same age gathered in front of and behind the building, and what they loved most was pretending to be the police to catch bad guys.When they were young, everyone clamored to be like their father, and when they grew up, they wanted to be the police to catch bad guys, and they wanted their sons to inherit their father's career.But how many of them actually accepted it?At the wine table the year before last, I met my childhood playmate, and I recognized him at a glance.He is now in the construction subcontracting business, and he is under the care of the second master.We unanimously pretended not to know each other, the childhood period is already insignificant in today's life, no one would overestimate their ability to mention that their father was a policeman in front of the second master.

And my background has already been processed cleanly.I am afraid that there is nothing in this world that can prove that I am my father's son.

The news of my father's death was told to my mother and me by a sharp and straight man.He showed up at my door, telling the sad news with a heavy and sad face.The mother burst into tears when she heard the words.I raised my head and held back my tears and asked him, "Have you caught the murderer?" He looked me in the eyes and nodded, then said, "Boy, grow up quickly and go to the police academy."

That year, that man appeared on the roof of the academic building of the police academy, handed me a cigarette and said, "Do you want to be an undercover agent?" I looked at him with complicated thoughts, unable to make a decision.He said: "Your father and I are comrades-in-arms, colleagues, and good brothers. You can call me Uncle Liu."

After eight years of hard work, I finally entered the core of Er Ye's organization.Just moments away from the corrupt power web of the government he controls.

When I was 26 years old, I met the person who was with me, Song Yuxi.

Dependent origin and extinction are just a matter of moments.

That day, Heizi's loyal brother wanted to avenge him, so he sent some people to fight for my life.I got the news in advance, and I didn't want to harm the business of the bar, so I brought my brothers to ambush them halfway.An armed street fight.

Uncle Liu would come out to interfere at the right time, but I got away safely by mingling with the crowd.

I never thought that in the chaos of the crowd, I would meet her again.

I don't know why, but I'm really looking forward to seeing her act improvised again. I want to see, this time, what kind of story she will make up to excuse her.I told myself that since I saved her once, I should give her a chance to repay her kindness.

three

It is true that origin and extinction are just the difference between a moment and a thought.

That day, my obsession started my relationship with Song Yuxi.

Every time I see her, I tell myself that this is the last time.And this "last time" was not implemented until she left.

Although Song Yuxi's upbringing experience is simple to pure, but the stubbornness in her bones makes her have a kind of persistence that is beyond the reach of ordinary people when she finds things or people.

Maybe it's because I'm used to acting alone all these years, or maybe it's because of Song Yuxi's good student status.Uncle Liu actually asked to meet for this matter.When we met this time, he was not the majestic director general, but my father-like uncle.

He said: "Ah Feng, this is the first time I've seen you fall in love with a woman for the first time in all these years. I'm afraid it's true. From an emotional point of view, I'm happy. But from a rational point of view, you should understand what you're doing How dangerous it is. A little carelessness is life-threatening. This girl is likely to be tired by you, or become a short board that hurts you. It is not a good thing for you two. So... " Uncle Liu paused for a moment, the coldness in his eyes gathered, and he said seriously: "Qin Feng, you must break up with her."

The second master said: "Ah Feng, let's separate. You offended Lao Jiu because of her. Think about it, what would Lao Jiu think if you were still with her, what would the brothers below think? Isn't this a public demonstration? After so many years, I can't touch Lao Jiu, let alone you."

Everything they say makes sense.So I drank a bottle of Erguotou and executed it.I caught a hostess at the bar, and told her the tricks, and she got into the show quickly, and she acted with ease.

"Little girl, go back and look in the mirror, Brother Feng is also something you can pester."

Song Yuxi's face was serene, she didn't even look at the woman, she just raised her head and stared at me, which made me feel pain like a knife stabbing my body.In my entire life, I have never felt so timid.She asked me, "Is that your answer?"

She is simple but very smart. She hasn't been with her for a long time, but she understands me very well.

I had no choice but to bite the bullet and say, "Yes."

I can't remember how much I drank that night.When I woke up the next day, there was a room full of wine bottles and Wenzi who was falling asleep on my lap.

After sobering up, Wenzi said to me with a dark face: "Brother, I used to love to drink with you. But yesterday you were really afraid of drinking with me. Drinking with you is killing me. You... can you stop drinking with me in the future? "

I nod.Later, Wenzi and I really never drank alone again, not before he took the blame for me, and it is even more impossible after that.

But the relationship between Song Yuxi and me, or our respective sincerity, cannot be controlled by external forces or ourselves.

When I saw her male classmate helping her to leave on KTV that day, the emotions that surged up in me were unprecedentedly violent.Maybe Uncle Liu is right, the underworld changed me after all.And then she didn't come home at night, and when Wenzi and I were looking for her from hotel to hotel, I just thought that I must kill that kid.At that time, I had completely forgotten that I was a policeman.In fact, before I kicked the door open, I had already prepared the worst scenario, but seeing such a scene, I was shocked by the shock that I could not prepare for in advance, and all the blood rushed to my head at that moment , I just feel a splitting headache.The anger in my heart swelled so much that I couldn't hold it in, I just wanted to vent it.For so many years, people on the road have said that Brother Feng is a ruthless character.But it was all a show, and the stabbing wasn't the vitals, but the places that bled a lot but didn't hurt the main arteries.I have always left seven-point affection in my shots.Only this time, I used a lot of ruthlessness.

After the accident, the second master kicked me hard.I know he's not angry about how much I hurt others, but that I'm so reckless for a woman.

Uncle Liu looked at me like a stranger, and said, "Go back and think about whether you can continue to perform the task."

I thought very seriously, looking at the painful Yuxi beside me, I thought about taking her away and going to a new place for a new start.

And before I could think about it, she left.She walked completely and decisively, so cruel that she cut off contact with her parents and friends.Completely disappeared from my world.I knelt in front of her parents for a long time, just wanting to know her whereabouts, not just to know the reason for her leaving, even if there is no reason.I just want to find her.The first thing I thought of was how difficult it would be for her to be a girl who was living alone and alone.Even if she really doesn't want to be with me anymore, I will let her go.

Later I realized that there is a gap between ideal and reality.I didn't know until I actually met her that I couldn't let go.After so many years of entanglement, she has long been part of my thoughts.

In the few years since Song Yuxi left, I got rid of Brother Nine, took the second position, and started to get in touch with the most secret network of this organization.It was only when I saw the political figures on TV calling my second master brothers and sisters that I truly understood how powerful this second master, who has always been in awe of me, has.

Some people leave and naturally join.Wenzi's brother Yangzi followed me. I intended for him to find a decent job, but he said that Wenzi entrusted him.In fact, there was another reason he didn't mention, and that was Su Xiang.To say that the two brothers do not have many similarities in appearance and temperament, except for this woman, Su Xiang, who have the same preference.

During Brother Nine's battle, Su Xiang blocked a knife for me.Not only this knife, but Song Yuxi left in the first place, and Su Xiang was always by my side when I was drunk all day long.I don't know how many times I hugged her and called Yuxi, but when I was awake, she didn't say a word.

Unexpectedly, because Su Xiang took a fancy to a piece of land in Linshi, I actually saw her again. After many years, the woman I thought could accompany me to count Luohua, Song Yuxi.

There is a definite number for flowers to bloom and fall, and I even feel that my reunion with her is destined.

When I saw her again, it was in a luxuriously decorated nightclub. Two shitty project managers from the developer invited me to talk about the development of the land.As soon as I sat down, she opened the door and came in.After so many years, she hasn't changed much. It seems that she drank a lot of wine and her face is flushed.

I don't know how many times I thought about meeting her again like a girl.But she didn't think that when we met again, she would be the hostess.Thinking of this, I feel that the long-term miss has turned into anger, and looking at the lewd eyes of the two project managers, the anger cannot be suppressed.

Until she covered her face and looked at me as stubbornly as before, I didn't fully realize that I hit her.

I know I was an asshole back then.Forcing her again and again, it seems that we need to use her pain to prove that we have loved deeply.The waiting and longing for too long have turned into a loneliness that cannot be relieved in the middle of the night.Depressed in the chest, unable to vent.

However, let me meet her, Song Yuxi.

I always thought I hated her, hated her abandonment, hated her leaving without saying goodbye.

However, when I saw her struggling and suffering, I realized that every time I made things difficult for her, the pain in my heart increased.Between life and death, I still chose to protect her without hesitation.

And between life and death, this strong and forbearing little woman, for me and for me, finally told me the secret she buried in her heart for many years, the secret she left when she left.

At that moment, even though I was blind, I could still clearly remember her appearance and the expression on her upturned face.

I also told her my secret, a secret that was much, much longer than hers.

Because I believe that after experiencing so many hardships and suspicions, we can still hold each other's hands tightly and never let go.In this world, I am afraid that there is nothing that can separate us. Even life and death are only physical barriers.

She whispered in my ear: "Qin Feng and Song Yuxi will never be separated for the rest of their lives."

Leaning on the fence and listening to the flowing water, who will accompany me to count the fallen flowers.

This company is for a lifetime.

(End of this chapter)