The Psychology of Microexpressions: Psychological Strategies in Relationships

Chapter 13 Unveiling the Mask of the Lie——Psychological Strategies for Insight into Lies (1)
Human beings are expressive animals. When almost no one speaks, they just speak "seriously", especially when what he said is not what he really thinks in his heart, where is his hand, what is his eyes and movements? ? ... These inadvertent behaviors are just the mirror for us to understand a person's inner world!
Through the eyes of the other party, pry into the secrets hidden deep inside

The eyes are the windows of the soul.As a physical organ, eyes can reflect a person's mental state and inner world, so many liars will try to avoid eye contact with others.So, do you know how to use your eyes to detect lies?This section will reveal the answer for you.

Medical research shows that the eye is the most sensitive organ among the five sense organs of human beings, and its sensory field almost covers more than 70% of the human body's senses. Therefore, the eye is called the king of the five sense organs, and it is also known as the window of the soul.In daily life, if we can understand a person's inner world by observing their eyes, then we can do it with ease in social situations.

As early as the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period in the history of our country, Mencius made a brilliant exposition on the function of the eyes: "There is nothing better than the eyes that exist in people.

Eyes cannot hide evil: if the chest is upright, the eyes will be closed; if the chest is not upright, the eyes will be narrowed. "That is to say, one can judge a person's good and evil from the eyes of a person. Therefore, psychologists have always believed that a person's inner activities can be peeked out through the eyes of a person. In social life, no matter What kind of emotions or desires are in his heart will be revealed from his eyes. The following are some ways to see a person's inner world from people's eyes, and they are also some advice from psychologists:
eyes up
When you're in a relationship, if you see someone's eyes go up, know that it's a faking of innocence.This action was to prove his innocence.

The upper eyelashes are lifted upwards
When a person's upper eyelashes are lifted up so hard that they almost coincide with drooping eyebrows, and his eyes are staring at you, it is easy to leave an unforgettable expression on people. This kind of eyes conveys a certain kind of shock.

squint
To squint at someone is to take a sneaky look at someone without being noticed by the person who is peeking at them.The conveyer of this kind of eyes is generally shy and shy.Through this kind of action, tell others: "Although I am very interested in you, I dare not look at you squarely."

eyes hanging up
If the eyes hang upward, it means that this kind of people hide hidden secrets in their psychology, and most of them like to consciously exaggerate the facts.This type of person has a negative personality and dare not face up to each other.

drooping eyes
Eyes drooping, this action has a contemptuous meaning, or else it means not caring about the other party's situation.When you tell your "friend" something, if he shows such eyes, you should know that your talk is over, because he is not interested in your difficulties at all, or in other words, he is indifferent at all.People who often convey this kind of look are mostly calm and selfish. They often only think about themselves, and they are more self-willed people.If you're making friends with someone like this, I hope you think twice.

wink eyes

Winking, that is, winking with one eye to the other party, indicates that there is a tacit understanding between the two, and the message it conveys is: "This meaning is only understood by you and me, and no one else can know it." In a social situation, if you find this kind of "talk" between two people, it means that they have common views and feelings on a certain topic.If such a "conversation" takes place between two strangers, it represents a strong meaning.And once this kind of action is discovered by other people, it will be considered a very impolite behavior, because it obviously contains secrets and tacit understanding between the two people that are not known to the third person, and it will naturally be given to others. Others feel alienated.Therefore, it is taken for granted that it is regarded as a kind of impolite behavior.

Blink
Blink, a series of actions include double blink, super blink, eyelash vibration, etc.Continuous blinking is the expression of a person who is about to cry, which means that he is trying his best to suppress his excited emotions; super blinking, the speed of this movement is relatively slow, but the amplitude is large, which represents surprise and doubt, and he can hardly believe his eyes; The eyelashes vibrated, and the eyes opened and closed as quickly as blinking. It was an exaggerated gesture to show off, and the message was conveyed: "You can't lie to me!"

In addition to people's eyes, observing the direction of people's eyes can also give a glimpse of a person's inner world.Because, in communication, what kind of desire or emotion a person has in his heart will inevitably be revealed on the line of sight.Therefore, how to understand the inner world of others through one person's sight has extraordinary significance in the communication between people.

eyes looking into the distance
When you are talking with someone, if you find that the other person's eyes are looking far away, it means that he is indifferent to your conversation, or he is thinking about other things and has no time to take care of your topic.For example, when you have a sincere conversation with your husband, but you find him looking away thoughtfully, it means that your topic does not interest him at all.It means that he is thinking about other things in his mind, whether it is emotional or career.All in all, he's not listening carefully to what you have to say.At this time, you have to consider the reasons for this situation so that you can make the right judgment.

The eyes are staring blankly at one point

For another example, in business occasions, when you are discussing business with the other party, he does not show a state of concentration, let alone any enthusiasm and excitement, but his eyes are staring blankly at one point.This shows that the other party is thinking about other things. Perhaps, he is thinking about how to make the transaction more beneficial to him.Therefore, when talking about business, if you meet this kind of look, you must be careful not to sell a large amount of goods to him, because he may not be able to pay for the goods.If the other party is a seller, you have to be more careful, as there may be hidden tricks hidden in it.In short, when your trading partner has such eyes, you just know how to be careful.If at this time, you tentatively ask:

"What troubles do you have?" The other party replied in a hurry: "No! Nothing..." At this time, you should end the conversation decisively and find a new partner.

squinted eyes

We often see squinted glances when people gather together.This look indicates the bearer's psychological state of rejection, contempt, confusion, contempt or interest.For example, when confronting one's competitors head-on, they often show this kind of contemptuous look at each other.However, the slanted and slightly smiling eyes also express interest in the other party.As long as you observe carefully, it is easy to see this kind of look between the opposite sex when you meet for the first time, and most of them appear on women.Therefore, if you are a man and find that a girl you are not familiar with casts this kind of look at you in a social situation, don’t be nervous because it means that she is interested in you. At this time, you are still single, and you have a good impression of her, so you should muster up the courage to talk to her, maybe a look will bring you a turning point in your fate and let you reap the fruits of love.

bright eyes slightly sinister
When the opponent's eyes are bright and slightly sinister, it means that he does not trust others and is on guard.If the other party has this kind of eyes when you meet for the first time, it means that you have made the other party have a certain distrust alert during the conversation.If you don't think you have done anything to make the other person have this kind of mentality, then the other person's eyes are likely to be instigated by others.

Recognize a person's lies by their facial expressions
A couple who are quarreling, once a distinguished guest comes to visit, they will pretend to be okay and greet them with a smile; the driver who violates the rules, in order to avoid making things worse, often pretends to smile and behave submissively in front of the police …a person’s facial expression can tell the truth, lie, or both at the same time.In social life, people often use facial expressions as a "mask" to cover up and disguise their true thoughts and feelings.

It was time to pay wages again, but this time the husband gave his wife only half of the usual wages.The wife asked her husband, "Why is the salary so low this time? Where did the money go?" The husband blushed, blinked his eyes a few times, lowered his head and said, "Now the company is not doing well, and everyone only pays the usual salary. half the wages."

According to research by body linguists, the face is the easiest part for liars to fake.For example, employees who are scolded by their bosses for failing to complete their tasks will smile all over their faces and keep saying "yes, yes, yes"; for example, drivers who are reprimanded by traffic police for violating regulations will pretend to smile and behave submissively.Although the face is easy to fake, when a person is lying, there will still be some flaws. Just like the husband above, his face changed when he was lying, and he kept blinking.As long as we observe carefully, we can "read" their lies from the other party's face.

Facial expressions pause for too long
According to the research of body language experts, except for some extremely strong emotions, such as grief, rage, ecstasy, etc., natural expressions generally do not stay on the face for more than 4 to 5 seconds .And when a person is lying, his face will also "cooperate" with his lies to make some expressions, but the pause time of these expressions on the face is obviously much longer, even reaching more than 10 seconds.It is precisely because they try their best to express their emotions, but "too much to go too far", people caught some flaws and handles.

Blink frequently
When we panic in our hearts, we close our eyes, just like closing a door for ourselves.In the same way, when a person is lying, his heart is uneasy and guilty, so he should blink continuously to make himself feel better.According to research by body linguists, a person blinks about 5 to 8 times per minute. When his mood fluctuates, the number of blinks will increase significantly.If a person blinks frequently, it means that he has a secret hidden in his heart.Of course, we can't assume that a person is lying because he blinks frequently, because he also makes such movements when he is emotional.When we judge whether a person is lying or not, we also need to consider the situation at the time.

Slow down

scene one:

On the first date, Hua Nan told a joke to the girl.The girl laughed and said, "That's a really funny joke."

Scene two:
On the first date, Hua Nan told a joke to the girl."That's a really funny joke," said the girl, and laughed.

If you were from South China, which of the above scenarios do you think is more believable?The answer is of course the first scene, because the girl in the second scene doesn't think the joke is funny at all, it's just perfunctory Huanan.

According to research by body language experts, in order to show that it is true, liars often design some expressions or body movements to confuse the other party.But because they didn't come from the heart, the expressions and actions they designed seemed to be "make up" or "addition" afterwards, not only half a beat slow, but also very mechanical.So, when a person expresses that he is very happy (or angry), he will first make a happy (or angry) expression, and then tell you that he is very happy (or angry).In the same way, when a person nods first and then says "I agree", it means that he really agrees with you; if he says "I agree with you" first and then nods, it means that he is deceiving you.

Facial expressions are limited to the mouth

It's not difficult for most people to express happiness, surprise, anger, etc., so many people use facial expressions to confuse each other.

In fact, it is not very difficult to distinguish the true and false expressions. According to the research of body language experts, those fake expressions are only limited to the mouth because they are not from the heart, while other parts (such as eyes and forehead wrinkles) are not. affect.

The way you talk gives away the secret of lying

No one likes to be lied to, but the world is full of all kinds of lies.In fact, when a person is lying, there are traces to follow. As long as we master the method of "breaking the panic", we can prevent and see through the other party's lies, so that the lies will no longer have a foothold.

When a person is lying, his speech pattern is also different from ordinary people, but it is difficult for many people to tell the difference.The British psychologist Wiseman once did a very interesting experiment. He asked Sir Robin, the host of the famous political talk show, to tell a truth and a lie. Which one is the truth and which one is a lie.Among the tens of thousands of people who participated in the "Catching Lies", 52% of them judged correctly, and 48% judged wrongly.This shows that it is difficult for people to distinguish patterns of lying.

The following are two passages recorded by Sir Robin. Please also distinguish which one is the truth and which one is a lie.

scene one:

Wiseman: Hello, Sir Robin, I would like to ask, what is your favorite movie?

Sir Robin: Gone with the Wind.

Wiseman: Why do you like this film?

Sir Robin: It's a classic movie with a fantastic cast, first-rate movie stars - Clark Gable in the lead and Vivien Leigh in the lead.The film is also very touching.

Wiseman: Who is your favorite character?
Sir Robin: Oh, Gable.

Wiseman: How many times have you seen this movie?
Sir Robin: Well... (pause) I think about six times.

Wiseman: When did you first see the movie?
Sir Robin: When the movie first came out, I think it was 1939.

Scene two:
Wiseman: Hello, Sir Robin, I would like to ask, what is your favorite movie?

Sir Robin: Well... (pause) Oh, Some Like It Hot.

Wiseman: Why do you like this film?

Sir Robin: Haha, every time I watch this movie I find it hilarious, there are things I like in this movie.Every time I watch it, I grow a little more fond of these things.

Wiseman: Who is your favorite character in it?

Sir Robin: Oh, I think it's Tony Curtis, he's so handsome... (after a short pause) and he's so smart, he's a Cary Grant imitation that's amazing, in the movie, He's trying to resist Marilyn Monroe, and the way he resists is so funny.

Wiseman: When did you first watch the film?
Sir Robin: When the movie was first released, but I can't remember the exact time.

After watching these two clips, which of the above scenes do you think Sir Robin is telling the truth?If you chose the second, you got it right, because according to Sir Robin himself, "Gone with the Wind" was the most boring film he had ever seen, and it was "Some Like It Hot" that he really liked.

So, what is the difference in speaking patterns between lying and telling the truth?

Liars don't describe things in great detail

When a person tells a lie, he has a guilty conscience. He is afraid that the more information he gives, the bigger the loopholes will be, so he dare not say more and provide relatively few details.Let's analyze the above two scenes. The words in the second scene are obviously more than those in the first scene, and when asked "Why do you like this movie" and "Which character do you like the most", Sir Robin in the scene In the first one, it is briefly mentioned, and in the second scene, some detailed descriptions are made.

Liars have 'super memories'

As we said earlier, people who lie will not give too much detailed information. They worry that the more information they give, the more likely the lie will be exposed.

(End of this chapter)