150 Wisdom Stories to Build Good Habits

Chapter 28 Control your emotions well and fill your heart with the taste of sunshine (2)
In order to change and curb his bad behavior and style, the mage thought of a very wise way to inspire and enlighten him. On this day, the mage gave this little novice a pot of evening primrose that was about to bloom, and let him When the value is changed, pay attention to observe the growth of the flowers.

Early the next morning, before the mage could find him, he held the potted flower ecstatically and ostentatiously came to the door all the way, and said loudly to the mage in front of all the monks: "The potted flower you gave me is too expensive. It’s amazing! It blooms at night, and it’s fragrant and beautiful. However, in the morning, it shrinks its fragrant stamens..."

The mage asked the little monk in a very gentle tone: "Did it disturb you when it bloomed at night?"

"No," said the little novice happily, "it opens and closes quietly, so how can it disturb me?"

"Oh, so that's the case," the mage said in a special tone, "I thought that when the flowers bloomed, I had to make a lot of noise and show off."

After the little novice was stunned for a while, his face turned red, and he said to the mage nonchalantly: "I have learned the lesson, I must correct myself!"

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A songbird has no worm to eat.Those who like to show off their little achievements are like a bottle, which is easy to break.The deeper the mountain, the quieter the water.A person who is truly knowledgeable and moral, and a truly successful and fragrant life does not necessarily need to be flamboyant or ostentatious.

No matter how much wisdom, beauty, and wealth you have more than others, if you don't maintain a humble attitude and a cautious style, you may end up with only a temporary possession.

Therefore, young friends must guard against arrogance and impetuosity, and maintain a normal mind. Even if they achieve excellent results for a while, they must learn to bloom quietly like flowers.

If you scold me, I become a mirror

Fu Bi was a prime minister of good conduct during the reign of Emperor Renzong of the Northern Song Dynasty. However, when Fu Bi was young, he often offended many people unintentionally because of his eloquence, which had a negative impact on his career and life.

After a long period of introspection, his character gradually became generous and humble.So when someone told him who was speaking ill of him, he would always answer with a smile: "How could that be, why would he say anything about me?"

Once, a poor scholar wanted to humiliate Fu Bi in public, so he stopped him in the middle of the street and said, "I heard that you are very knowledgeable, and I want to ask you a question."

Fu Bi knew that the visitor was not kind, but he couldn't ignore it, so he agreed.

The scholar asked Fu Bi: "Excuse me, if you want to correct your heart, you must first be sincere. The so-called sincerity means not deceiving yourself. What is right is right, and what is wrong is wrong. If someone scolds you, what will you do?" Fu Bi thought Thinking, replied: "I will pretend not to hear." The scholar laughed and said: "It is said that you are familiar with the Four Books and the Five Classics. It turns out that it is purely false. Fu Bi is only a mediocre person at best!" Finished, laughed and left.

Fu Bi's servant complained to his master, "It's really hard for you to understand. I can answer such a simple question. Why are you pretending not to know?"

Fu Bi said: "This man is a frivolous person. If you argue with him rationally, your swords will be on edge and your face will be red.

A scholar is narrow-minded and will hold grudges. This is futile, so why bother? "

A few days later, the scholar met Fu Bi again on the street.Fu Bi took the initiative to say hello.

The scholar ignored him and turned away; after walking not far, he looked back at Fu Bi and sneered loudly:
"Fu Bi has turtle ears!"

Someone told Fu Bi that the scholar was scolding him.

"It's scolding others!"

"He scolded you by name, how could he be scolding someone else?"

"Is there no one with the same name and surname in the world?"

He walked while talking, ignoring the scholar's insults.The scholar saw that he was bored and didn't waste his energy, so he walked away.

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Everyone will inevitably encounter embarrassing misunderstandings, be unfairly criticized or even insulted by others in their life.Whether vile, vicious, cruel.You must not become as irrational as the other party by an unfair criticism or ugly insult from the other party.The only tactic to win is to keep silent, not to confront others head-on, and even redundant explanations are unnecessary.If someone scolds you, you can treat yourself as a mirror and ignore him.Because in this case, quarreling and insulting each other will neither bring happiness nor victory to any party, but will only bring greater trouble, greater resentment, and greater injury.Taking a step back, the party that did not gain the upper hand in the scolding, making a fool of themselves in public, only brought regret for their reckless behavior.The side that has the upper hand, even though it scolds the other side to pieces, so what?It can only deepen the antagonism and deepen the resentment of the other party.

This tells us that in order to avoid unexpected disputes and injuries in the chaotic game of gunmen, so as to better protect ourselves, develop ourselves, and achieve ourselves, we must learn to bend down like Fu Bi.

Bending down means that we should lower our posture and be humble, low-key, harmonious and peaceful in social life.Because, many times, it is our "low profile" and our "introduction" that make our lives more complete.

The ancients said: "Self-serving ninja is the best." To be a human being, you must be patient, especially for those who are irritable, and you must control your negative emotions.Of course, in life, there are many kinds of adverse emotions. We will not discuss them one by one here, but only talk about the adverse effects of anger on life.Don't get angry easily when things happen, you must learn to control yourself, otherwise, offending more people will not be conducive to your future development.

Light a heart lamp for yourself?

Zixiao was abandoned by her parents before she was a full moon, and was raised by her gray-haired grandma until she graduated from elementary school, and her cruel parents returned home from other places.Parents favor sons over daughters and are very mean to their daughters.Sometimes when she was sick, her parents would intensify her persecution, and her mother would say, "If I see you, I will get angry. Get out of here. There are rivers, rat poison, and ropes. If you have ambition, you will die." Give her a bottle of Valium. The 13-year-old girl didn't cry. In her young heart, a strong desire emerged——she must live on, and live like a human being!

Driven out of the house by her mother, her kind grandmother tearfully sent her to a piece of pure land - a nunnery.After Zixiao bid farewell to grandma with gratitude, her heart was turbulent. Could it be that my life can only be spent in the lifeless nunnery?In the nunnery, Zixiao, whose legal name is "Jingyue", suffered from stomach problems, but she never complained of pain, even when she was punished by the old nun for not wanting to beg for alms, she did not frown or cry.But Zixiao's rebellious personality is secretly growing.On a light rainy morning, she took the dry food exchanged for eggs and the travel expenses from selling coffins, and set foot on the westbound train.A few days later, she arrived in Xinjiang and met her long-lost cousin and aunt.In Xinjiang, she returned to class and spent a happy half a year.At the suggestion of her aunt, she went back to her hometown in Anhui to go through the procedure of household registration transfer.When she returned to her hometown, she found that she could never go back to Xinjiang—her mother asked her to replace her father to work in the factory.

She picked up a welding torch when she was only 15 years old.She did not bow to fate, because she still had a dream in her heart.Zixiao studied hard in his spare time and passed the self-study exams of "Writing", "Modern Chinese" and "Introduction to Literature".In the second year, she took the college entrance examination, and she was admitted to Anhui College of Traditional Chinese Medicine.However, she knew that she could not realize her wish because of family reasons, and university became her beautiful dream.

At the end of 1988, Zixiao's first essay was adopted by "Chaohu News". She saw a glimmer of life, and she wanted to use the pen of Muse to save herself.For so many sleepless nights, she used childish pens to express her suffering and misfortune, and poured out her tenacity and struggle.The hard work finally paid off, and most of her painstakingly concentrated manuscripts were adopted and won various awards. In 1989, holding her own work, she knocked on the door of Anhui Writers Association and became a member of it.

Literature is sacred, writing is poor.Zixiao resolutely gave up the "iron rice bowl" he had inherited from his father, and began a difficult school career.Because she knew that with her current foundation alone, she was far from being able to become a master.She went to Beijing to study at Lu Xun Academy of Literature.Forced to make ends meet, she was shy by nature and became a newspaper boy.The sun was scorching hot, and the ground was so hot that it was smoking. Miss Zixiao was sweating profusely, hawking timidly.Unfortunately, when crossing the street, a speeding bicycle knocked her down.Looking at the ankle that was swollen like a steamed bun, Zi Xiao's first reaction was - the newspaper could not be sold.She did not lose confidence, and used the meager money she earned from selling newspapers for a few days to make up for the outstanding tuition fees. She only rested for a few days, and started a part-time work-study life again.The God of Destiny took pity on her and allowed her to meet famous writers such as Mo Yan and Liu Zhenyun. She was fortunate enough to listen to the teachings, and she felt great satisfaction.

In order to save money, Zi Xiao lives in a warehouse of sundries in a certain air force guest house.At night, it becomes her "studio", and her lights are often on until dawn.On Sunday, she took care of the starching and washing of hundreds of quilts in the guest house. Once she passed out by the pool. Fortunately, two female soldiers carried her back and poured two bowls of ginger soup. Then go to wash.Her face and hands were rough and cleft for her age.

Zixiao's later experience went much smoother. She studied ancient prose with Mr. Wen Huaisha, joined the army, wrote, interviewed, and became famous. All these seemed logical, but all of them were extraordinary.She is a strong woman, an unyielding strange woman who does not bow to difficulties.She sees difficulties as a required course in life, and she gets full marks.

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Tenacity is the guarantee to overcome all difficulties. It can help people achieve everything and achieve their ideals.

With tenacity, teenagers will not be at a loss when they encounter great difficulties; they can still live tenaciously in the face of various difficulties and blows.There is nothing else in this world that can replace tenacity.Tenacity is a common characteristic of all people who achieve great things.

Post-chapter test: How stable are you emotionally?
A famous writer once said: "The successful people I know are happy and hopeful people. They go to work every day with a smile on their faces, and they face life's impermanence and opportunities with a mature attitude. Prosperity treats everyone equally."

Looking at the successful people in the world, they all have high emotional stability. It can be said that having stable emotions is one of the keys to their success.So, how is your emotional stability?I believe the following set of tests can help you find the answer.

The test consists of a series of statements, please choose the description that best suits your personality according to your actual situation, don't think too much.

The answer criteria are as follows:

A. very fit
B. Kind of fit
C. cannot be determined
D. doesn't quite fit
E. Very inconsistent
The test begins

1. I am very superstitious.

2. I have an inferiority complex.

3. I am often upset when I am alone.

4. I am often infected by romantic or sad movies.

5. I have a hard time making up my mind.

6. I often get whimsical ideas.

7. I always feel flustered and restless.

8. I get annoyed easily over small things.

9. My schedule is irregular.

10. I find it difficult to settle down when I meditate.

11. I often worry about what other people think of me.

12. When I wake up in the morning, I often complain in my heart.

13. My interests vary.

14. The mood often changes greatly with the atmosphere at the time.

15. Others see me as a worried person.

16. I often feel tightness in my chest.

17. When I am upset, I cannot hide my unhappiness from others.

18. I am not good at suppressing my impulsiveness or frustration.

19. I don't know what's going on inside me.

20. I don't like competitive jobs.

scoring method
Please use the following criteria to score your selection.

Choose the number of A (A); choose the number of B (B)

Choose the number of C (C); choose the number of D (D)

Choose the number of E (E).

Then calculate the raw score according to the following formula: (R)

R=E×5+D×4+C×3+B×2+A
Finally, please follow the rules listed in the table below to find out the corresponding ranking value (P) based on your raw score (R).For example, if your raw score (R) is 73, then the corresponding P value in the table below is 93.

Emotional Stability Norm Comparison Table (Note: R and P are percentages)

R P R P RP RP RPRP
20 0 35 7 50 38 65 80  80  9895  100
22 1 37 10 52 4467 84  82  9897  100
23 1 38 11 53 4768 86  83  9998  100
24 1 39 13 54 5069 87  84  9999  100
25 1 40 14 55 5370 89  85  99100  100
26 2 41 16 56 5671 90  86  99
27 2 42 18 57 5972 92  87  99
28 2 43 20 58 6273 93  88  100
28 2 43 20 58 6273 93  88  100
29 3 44 22 59 6574 94  89  100
30 3 45 25 60 6875 95  90  100
31 4 46 27 61 7176 95  91  100
32 5 47 29 62 7377 96  92  100
33 5 48 32 63 7578 97  93  100
34 6 49 35 64 7879 97  94  100
Test Results
The ranking value (P) is a percentage. The understanding of the P value is as follows: if you get a P value of 78, it means that your emotional stability is higher than 78% of people. Conversely, you had a lower level of emotional stability than 22 percent.

In general, if your P value is below 50, you need to pay more attention, because your emotions are easily agitated, prone to troubles, and it is usually difficult to cope with setbacks encountered at work.You are easily dominated by the environment and your mind is shaken, unable to face reality, often restless, physically and mentally fatigued, and even insomnia, which shows that your mood is extremely unstable.

(End of this chapter)