Featured by Frederick Floyd

Chapter 15 Appendix
Letter to Fu Min (Part [-])

1962.3.8
Dear children:
It's great to know you've got a girlfriend, and glad you let us know now so we can have a chance to mentor you.The experience of love and the study of literature and art, the deeds of the joys and sorrows of friends for decades, and the observation and thinking in daily life make us more qualified than other parents to participate in the life-long events of our children.You can trust us as much as you can, and tell us the situation and the progress and fluctuations of your feelings at any time, so as to help you pass this critical moment in life.

First of all, the attitude and mood should be as calm as possible, otherwise the observation will not be accurate.In the early stage of dating, it is easy to be impulsive. Based on impressions, you only see the advantages of the other party, but not the shortcomings, and even exaggerate the advantages and beautify the shortcomings.Even with friends of the same sex, this is not unavoidable, and it is even more common with the opposite sex.This is often the reason why many young men and women were very good before marriage, but they gradually disagreed or even turned against each other after marriage.During emotional excitement, not only will you be deaf, blind, and unable to see each other clearly; you will also unconsciously only show the good side and hide your shortcomings.Another advantage of keeping calm is that you won’t waste your regular work just to fall in love, or affect your homework, waste time, or damage your health, or disturb your mood when encountering big or small twists and turns.

The so-called calmness is not only the superficial actions, but also the heart and mind.Of course this is difficult.People are always people, and emotions are not easy to control. It is even more difficult for young people without love experience to maintain a balance of body and mind, and it has something to do with each person's temperament.All my life, I have never been able to remain calm and get agitated very easily. This is my big shortcoming.Fortunately, after the event, I can analyze objectively and think carefully, so that the spirit on the spot will not continue to develop and the trouble will be out of control.Let me tell you this, to let you know that if you can’t restrain yourself temporarily, you must control the overall situation with reason afterwards: Correct what needs to be corrected, apologize when you need to apologize to others, and close the tent when it’s time to close. In short, the above two points can be summed up It just sounds like: emotion must be controlled by reason.To do it, you must work hard and exercise for a long time in real life.

Never in my life have I ever had a "love first" perspective. "Truth is supreme", "morality is supreme" and "justice is supreme", all of these should be regarded as the principles of standing.Love cannot violate these principles, no matter how feverish or climaxing it may be.Whether it is a friend, a wife, or a lover, when a critical moment arises, you will never give in on issues related to truth, morality, justice, and so on.

Secondly, human beings are the most complicated animals. Observation must not be simplified, but must be patient, meticulous, and in-depth. After a considerable amount of time, various accidents and occasions, we must combine the objective spirit of science with the sympathy of great compassion. stand up.The advantages of the other party, you must recognize whether it is true and reliable, whether it is imagined by yourself, or exaggerated.The shortcomings of the other party must be distinguished whether it is related to the essence.Disadvantages connected with essence cannot be overlooked for other lesser advantages.It is also necessary to identify whether minor shortcomings can be corrected, and whether they develop will affect character or daily life.Everyone has flaws, and this is true for both men and women in a relationship.The problem is not to find a partner who has no faults, but to find a partner who can recognize each other's faults, acknowledge each other, be willing to gradually change, and tolerate each other (this is very important. Some faults can be tolerated by both parties; some It cannot be tolerated, and it will cause cracks after a long time).It is best for both parties to try to be as natural as possible, not to be artificial, each to show their true colors, and let the other party see their advantages and disadvantages together.Only when we see each other's advantages and disadvantages, and feel that we can tolerate each other without affecting the overall situation, can we talk about further understanding; otherwise, we can only be ordinary friends.But to fully see each other's strengths and weaknesses, it will take quite a while, and various accidents, large and small, will be needed to test them, so there is absolutely no rush!Let alone draw conclusions (whether good or bad) easily!Only by being extremely frank can you expose yourself; and the sooner you expose your shortcomings, the better, and the later the worse!People who try to hide their shortcomings in order to succeed in love are actually stupid.Of course, it is not the case to unknowingly show your own bright side and unknowingly hide your shortcomings in love.Because this is human instinct, and it also proves that love can make us progress and develop in the direction of goodness and beauty.This is the greatness of love, and the main reason why poets throughout the ages have sung love.Novelists often mention that we have experienced it again and again in our lives: men and women in love are often smarter than usual, understand books faster, and are often extraordinarily kind-hearted, wanting to make others happy for their own happiness, or to reduce their happiness. The suffering of others; the expansion of sympathy is the precious concrete manifestation of love.

It is no wonder that the tone of the letter is impulsive; although you are in your twenties, it is probably the first time you have really fallen in love. The first time you experience love in your life must have these manifestations.However, the current objective situation must be taken into account: first, the homework is heavy, especially if you are in the last semester; second, there is not enough time allocated; third, you are in poor health and lack of nutrition.Therefore, I advise you to be more calm, not too excited, so that you can be physically and mentally stable, sleep as usual (you already feel sleepless), and read with full energy.Even the free time and holidays should be arranged reasonably. Don't be exhausted for dating, waste people and waste money (watching movies, listening to concerts, etc. should also be arranged reasonably), affecting physical and mental health and daily homework.Everything depends on the current dietary conditions. Insufficient nutrition requires saving energy and physical strength, and avoid wasting it!
Subjectively, it is hoped that things will come true, but objectively, there must be mental preparations in case they fail.In order to avoid the pain of falling out of love and so on, I think this "wiseness" should be fully grasped from the beginning.It is best not to make the other party too sure, and let everything evolve naturally.

She needs to know more about her family situation.Where do you live in Shanghai?The name of the father and the name of the previous service agency should be reported in detail.

In short, don't be in a hurry, the more important the matter is, the more calm and serene you should be, consider the long-term, observe carefully, and strive to be objective!It's easy to reach a peak in a relationship, but the peak (or climax) of anything can only last for a short time, and it's very difficult to maintain a long-term friendship over time.We support you with 24 points of enthusiasm and guide you with [-] points of reason. I hope that after you have gone through exercises and tests, you will finally get lasting and reliable happiness!

In addition to advantages and disadvantages, whether the two people have similar personalities and tempers is also an important factor.The differences between hardness and softness, softness and hardness, and urgency must be adjusted to each other.There are also many indescribable and innumerable small habits manifested in actions, attitudes, words and laughter, voices, etc., which also have a great effect on the relationship between men and women. To understand these, one has to stand on the sidelines and smack slowly.The so-called can stand the test refers to a lot of criticism and self-criticism, both tangible and intangible (the reaction to every move of others is the invisible criticism).Poets often say that love is blind, but love that is not blind is healthier and more reliable after all.

You know the issues of outlook on life and the world, so I don’t need to talk about them.One should pay great attention to people's elegance and vulgarity and tolerance.According to my experience: Elegance and common-mindedness are often congenital, and acquired modification can rarely raise a low level to a high level; therefore, during the relationship, you should pay attention to whether the other party is better than yourself, which can help me improve in the future, and It won't turn me back.You have been accustomed to the family style since you were young, so you must not tolerate a narrow-minded personality.

What has been discussed above is all general questions of principle.If you don't know the specific objects, you can only talk about them.You may wish to tell us about the depression in the first half of the semester in the letter. You may wish to tell us in your spare time. One can see if your concept of life is correct, and the other can indirectly understand part of the other party.

Although appearance and figure are not the main consideration, it cannot be ignored by a person who loves beauty.

During the period of making friends, try to give as few gifts as possible and spend less money: on the one hand, it shows that your love concept is rarely involved in material relationships, and on the other hand, it also tests the other party.

Letter to Fu Min (Part [-])

1962.3.14
Min, dear child:
I received both the letter and the photo on the [-]th, and she thought I was both strict and kind. Maybe she felt that I was more strict than kind?People who don't know me or haven't been with me for a long time will inevitably have this impression, let alone a girl who has never seen me!People with ideals, enthusiasm and strong reason are often daunting. You probably still felt this way to me a few years ago.Last year your brother said in a letter: "Every word and every sentence of Dad's article is full of enthusiasm, very persistent, almost fanatic [almost fanatic]." The last sentence is especially pertinent.This is my strength and my weakness.Because of his high ideals and strong enthusiasm, he always shows that he is good at being a teacher and desperately trying to persuade others.But children, don't be afraid, I am over half a century old, the world has faded away, and there is also a very free and easy side in my nature, which is the "Old and Zhuang" spirit in the Chinese national character: in other words, when I am attached, I am very attached, and when I get rid of it Life and death are out of the question.To my children, I also have the attitude that it is up to me to say or not, and it is up to you to listen or not.It's just that he has a strong sense of responsibility and a strong heart for right and wrong, and he can't help but talk about what he sees.Your brother also mentioned in another letter: "In this decadent [declining] world, during these years abroad, I have met many characters Whom I admire and love, from whom l learn [let me admire, love and learn] to many], but I have never met anyone who can take me to that place at the same time passionate and serene, profound and simple, affectionate and proud, subtle and straight forward Proud, subtle and straightforward] world. It can be seen that he really understands my "two sides" and also understands the two sides of old Chinese culture. Warm and quiet, profound and simple, gentle and proud, subtle and straightforward: this It is the essence of our inherent culture, and we are proud of it!"

Of course, I don't have all the above-mentioned characteristics, let alone to an appropriate degree. It's just that I have a strong tendency to have those characteristics, and it's the state I yearn for all my life.For example, I have lofty ideals and hopes for human beings, and at the same time, I look at the evolution of human beings from the perspective of astronomy and geology. Many years ago, I was used to looking at some big things with "interstellar" thinking, and did not regard human beings as everything The soul feels that it is presumptuous and ridiculous for man to say "I am the only one" to all living things in the world.I may fully agree with and have confidence in a certain general principle, but I still have many different opinions on specific examples and implementation.I have a very strong love and hatred for good, evil, beauty and ugliness. For a bad work or for some unreasonable phenomenon in society, I will get very angry, but afterwards I will calmly analyze and explain, so as to explain individual cases. forgive.I am obsessed with the truth, but I always have a skeptical attitude. I feel that clinging to some truths in front of me will make us stagnate, and we will not be able to obtain higher and more advanced truths.The above is just casual chatter, so that you can understand your father's complex psychology more, so that you know that the more knowledgeable a person is, the more difficult it is, and the less you can judge from one, two, three, four points alone.

I am very glad that you and she both agree with some of the principles mentioned in my previous letter. I hope that we will do it practically and encourage each other step by step for the common ideal (including personal happiness and contributing to the collective).Many problems can only be truly understood in practice. Rational understanding alone is superficial, unreliable, and unable to withstand the test of wind and rain.Tell her that mom and I both love her photos.Just by instinct, she is a very innocent and simple child.If she wanted to, she might as well write a letter to talk casually, whether it was about family affairs or life events, knowledge and art or trivial life.Don't be afraid, we don't have daughters, so we won't be as strict with other girls as we are with you brothers.At the same time, I am also very happy to communicate with children, which makes me feel that I am not mentally old enough that young people do not want to come close to me.Young people who have not been strictly disciplined by their parents since childhood also have some other advantages, that is, they have a strong ability to be independent, like what you call being able to manage themselves.But there is a part of nature that is stronger than nurture: You should remember that even though our decades of education for you have many shortcomings, we have never relaxed you in terms of housework, discipline, order, etc., and you and I The example your mother gave you is always hardworking and conscientious, but it is a pity that you have never developed good habits in that regard.You can also tell her: What the previous letter said was a general talk about making friends with men and women, and it did not make any specific requirements for her.After half a lifetime, we are still not well-rounded and full of shortcomings. How can we be too harsh on others?But the ancients often said: Take the law from the top, and get it from the middle; take the law from the middle, and get it from the bottom.And my requirements for young people and myself, except for suffering (physical and material hardships), have never been lower than the requirements of the party for party members. You know this.I hope that all of us will continue to improve ourselves, not only knowledge, but especially self-cultivation and moral character!
Dad on the evening of March [-]
Letter to Fu Min (Part [-])

1962.12.5
敏：
The situation in the dormitory reminded me of the house I lived in in Luoyang in the winter of [-]. Although it was a formal tile-roofed house, the toilets were also open-air.The wind in Luoyang cuts my face like a knife.I went to Longmen to investigate the stone carvings, and I slept in a hut with earthen walls. The windows were only a few wooden sheds, pasted with paper with holes in it, and there was no door. Seeing the stars in the sky, it turned out that the roof tiles were not covered tightly.The noodles eaten for three meals during the day are like firewood, which is really not easy to swallow.Such days have passed for several days, and every ten days I have to go to Longmen to taste this kind of life.The development of our country's society between the north and the south is too unbalanced, and people generally live a hard life, which cannot be reversed in a short period of time.You have had a relatively good family life since you were young, so you are not used to the poor environment today.If you were born in a shanty town or grew up in an attic with five or six people crowded together, you won't complain about the situation in front of you.We are definitely not blaming you, you have also been spoiled by your past environment, education, and living habits.But you should know that the biggest shortcoming of modern youth is that they cannot bear hardships (except for incorrect thinking). Classmates, colleagues, and leaders at all levels must first pay attention to this.This is a big test that every young person has to pass.Those who have made it through have a bit more strength and are more heavily armed than those who have not.As far as I am concerned, it is also a problem of being too delicate. Friends such as Uncle Qiu (resurrected) and Uncle Lun Bu are more able to endure hardships than me, and I do not know how much better than me in this respect.Now that I am middle-aged and above, my health is not good, so I can't talk about hard training, but if I don't get the care of my superiors, I can't get the manuscript fee, and without your brother's help, the manuscript fee I saved in the past is exhausted, so I have to live Gradually descending, maybe one day you will have to live in an attic or a pavilion?Am I not alive then?I'm telling you this just to remind you that if the family's finances are in trouble, even I will have to live an unprecedentedly difficult life, let alone take care of my children.In the eyes of intellectuals, material suffering is not as unforgettable as spiritual suffering.I have a deep understanding of this, but I have never mentioned it to you.All in all, the youth of New China will never be overwhelmed by material difficulties, and will never be discouraged by them.The ideological education you have received over the past few years is not insignificant, and it should be applied to real life at this moment.You have also read many stories about the hard struggle and heroic sacrifice of Communist Party members, and you can also use them to encourage yourself.If you can survive two or three years, you will definitely be much stronger.And I believe you do have the courage.Don't think that the current difficulties are permanent. Isn't that a loss of confidence in the future, the country, and the party?This is a serious ideological error, and we must be vigilant!Solving thoughts is fundamental, but it must also be matched with real life in order to consolidate your ideological consciousness and increase your courage and confidence.At present, you must first do a good job in teaching, be diligent and honest.The second is to enrich knowledge as much as possible, improve business in a planned and step-by-step manner, and develop a work discipline.If the surrounding area of ​​the dormitory is not quiet, is there a reading room available? ...The Beijing Library is also not far from the school. Is the reading room in it available?May wish to touch the situation.All in all, we must do everything possible to overcome the difficulties of self-study.After you have made the arrangements, talk to me about your further study plan. It is best to combine the subjects you take as the first step.

The body also has to pay attention to whether the arthritis has recurred?How is the stomach?How was your sleep?Poor health is a fact, there is no need to hide it from others, the leader will take care of it when necessary.When going to the toilet at night, wear more clothes to prevent cold!Cut and cut.

Thousands of words in one sentence: no matter what, you have to grit your teeth and keep going. How can a good man be depressed and discouraged because of these inconveniences in life!During the Anti-Japanese War, Mr. Huang Binhong lived in a dilapidated house in Beijing, but it was relatively quiet.You think this generation of artists is just living in back alleys, the walls are not completely black, and the tables and chairs are not crumbling. This is what your mother and I have witnessed.

For her sake, you have to cheer yourself up and be a role model.Otherwise, she will have an extra burden of thought and emotion.Once the class starts, self-study classes are scheduled, and after getting used to it, I believe you will calm down.The most important thing is to improve business, and all troubles should be eliminated as much as possible for this.

You should imagine how parents care about their children, but the times are different, the environment is different, parents also have their own difficulties, and it’s not that they don’t want to help you improve their lives.But everyone is suffering, and the country still has difficulties, so we can't rush everything.The exercise I received when I was young will never be exhausted in my life.In the future, your flexibility to deal with material life must be much stronger than mine, and this is where you take advantage.Think far away, think big, think more about the public, and care less about yourself. Naturally, it is easy to be satisfied.A person does not necessarily have to pay a price to be rewarded, but there will never be a reward without paying a price.Even if there is, it is not reliable.

If you think about it more, and compare it with people who are suffering more than you, you will soon figure it out, be in a cheerful mood, and get better grades at work.Be careful!Take care of yourself!

daddy december [-]th

As long as you don't make mistakes in your thinking and have no mental burden, what does it matter if your daily life is inconvenient?If you have difficulties, think about solving them step by step (such as self-study problems), be calm, objective, and use your brain!Looking for tips, don't worry, it will affect your physical and mental health!Worrying doesn't solve problems.

Fu Lei and his wife's last pen
1966.9.2
People show:

Although the so-called anti-Party evidence (a small mirror and a faded old pictorial[10]) was found in our house, and it is indisputable, we would not admit to our own things to the death (actually the contents of the storage box) out).Even though we have committed thousands of crimes, we have never thought of changing the sky.We also know that although the evidence found is hard to argue with, the People's Republic of China under the leadership of a wise proletarian party and a great leader will never give a heavy sentence for it.It's just that the grievances are not clear, and the days that cannot be washed away are more sad than going to jail.What's more, just educating a traitor, Fu Cong, is more than enough to die in front of the people!What's more, dregs like us from the old society should have automatically withdrawn from the stage of history long ago!

Because you are Mei Fu's elder brother, and because we have no close relatives, we can only entrust you with the care of the aftermath.If it is inconvenient for you to accept it due to your position, please ask your superior or the court for instructions before proceeding.

The number of entrustments is as follows:

55.29. Pay the September rent of [-] yuan (with cash).

606. Shen Zhongzhang, Room [-], Wukang Building (bottom of Huaihai Road), asked to repair an Omega automatic men's watch, please return it.

[-]. Renxiu handles the remaining funds left by the old mother.

[-]. An old wall watch (steel) and an old girl's watch, as a gift to the nanny Zhou Judi.

A deposit slip of five or six hundred yuan was given to Zhou Judi for living expenses during the transitional period.She is a working people, lonely all her life, we don't want her to suffer for no reason.

[-]. Aunt Fu Yi deposited a slip of paper of [-] yuan in our house, please return it.

[-]. The receipt for the cemetery in Lianyi Shanzhuang, which was deposited by my aunt Fu Yi, has been searched by the Red Guards this time and I can't find it anywhere. I'm sorry.

370. The ornaments that my aunt Fu Yi deposited in our house were taken and confiscated by the Red Guards at the same time as our own. We could only use three deposit slips ([-] yuan in total) and three small deposits as compensation.

[-]. The accessories that the third sister Zhu Chun deposited in our house were also confiscated. Please apologize.Two of her suitcases (on the third floor) are temporarily sealed, and one porcelain wooden box will be collected by you after the government unseals it.There are still several pieces of furniture, just ask Zhou Judi.

[-]. An old Omega automatic men's watch for personal use, and another old men's watch. It was intended to be given to Miner and Xiaorong, but it might hinder their political stance, so I asked Renxiu to handle it freely.

53.30. Cash of [-] yuan will be used as our cremation fee.

[-]. The furniture borrowed by the Song family upstairs will be taken back by Chen Shutao according to the order.

Thirteen, own furniture, by you.Books, calligraphy and paintings are subject to public decision.

It is really uneasy to make you suffer for us, but there is no other person to trust, forgive me!

Fu Leimei
The night of September [-], [-]

(End of this chapter)