Modern social etiquette and eloquence

Chapter 31 Etiquette and eloquence of Chinese and foreign nationalities (4)
Modesty is a virtue of the Chinese people.When praised or praised by people, always be humble and say that you have not done enough.However, in the US it is very different, people will think you are really incompetent.Because Americans especially like other people's praise or praise, they will feel very happy when they are praised or praised.

4. Table etiquette
Americans are known for their casualness and informality, but there are still many etiquettes to be followed at banquets, and people often judge a person's upbringing level by his manners at the table.

It was advisable to be punctual when invited to a dinner, but being a moment late was harmless and even considered a sign of a dignitary.But when your status is not that high, it is rude to ask other people to wait for you.Early arrivals are generally considered undesirable.If you can bring a bottle of wine or give the hostess a bouquet of flowers when you go to a family banquet, you can avoid the suspicion of "free food".

When taking a seat, the male guest should let the female guest sit first. When there is an unattended lady around him, the man should help her pull out the chair, and then push it in when she sits down. This is the so-called gentlemanly demeanor.

There are a few points that Americans should pay attention to when eating, which is contrary to Chinese habits.In addition to using both hands at the same time, one hand should be placed under the table (on the lap) when not in use, rather than on the table or to support the plate or bowl; you must use your hand where it should be used, otherwise it is also impolite.For example, you should never use a fork to fork bread, and when eating a whole lobster, you should use your hands instead of your mouth to peel the shell.Because peeling the shell with your mouth is bound to spit out the peeled shell, and putting the food in the mouth and then spitting it out is a big taboo in Western food, and you should also pay attention to concealment when you have to do it occasionally as a last resort.A piece of meat that cannot be eaten in one bite should be placed on the plate and cut into small pieces with a knife. Do not take a bite out of a large piece of meat and then put it back on the plate.An important thing during or after a meal is not to forget to appreciate the snacks, especially those made by the host himself, even if you don't really like them.The practice has become so common that a guest's silence must be interpreted by the host as displeasure at the "bad" food.

After visiting an American home, a short thank you note should follow.Be cautious when bringing gifts to American homes. If no one else brings a gift and you are the only one who gives a gift, other guests will feel embarrassed.

[-]. Arabic Etiquette
The Arab countries are very mysterious to the Chinese, firstly because of their combative personality, and secondly because of their religious beliefs, so, in the eyes of the Chinese, their etiquette and customs are sometimes equally mysterious.

1. Personality characteristics
Arabs are bold, violent and impulsive.But when they are angry, they don't hurt others, they just vent themselves.

Arabs are unpredictable and opinionated, so some unpleasant things happen to each other from time to time.However, if someone asks for help, they will happily oblige.The Arab writer Sanya Hammadi once wrote: "In order to make the other party happy, Arabs often agree to other people's requests regardless of whether they can actually do it."

2. Communication etiquette and customs
Arabs usually drink a cup of strong coffee or a cup of mint tea before talking about business.Do not use your left hand when eating or drinking tea.

Arabs have very strict requirements on the dress and grooming of men and women, just like the law.

Islamic rules require that you stop working 5 times a day to pray, and guests must never interrupt the owner's prayer or express impatience.Find the right opportunity to greet Arabs according to their religious etiquette, and the other party will think it is the sincerest compliment to him.For example, you can say "Inshaljph" when you make an appointment with an Arab to see you later, which means "by the will of the Lord".

The ninth month of the Islamic calendar is Ramadan for the Arabs. During this month, believers fast during the day and do not work in the afternoon. Foreign guests should respect their habits.

Don't call the Arabian Gulf the Persian Gulf.

Do not point the soles of your feet towards the owner while sitting, this will be considered an insult to the owner.Also don't rest your feet on a table or chair.

Except at home, Arabs shake hands when they meet.When you are a guest at an Arab's home, the host may kiss your cheeks, so you should kiss the host's cheeks in return.

Arabs work from Saturday to next Thursday, and only Friday is their day of rest and prayer.If there is an appointment, the foreign guests must come to the appointment on time, but the host may not be there on time.

3. Etiquette for hospitality

When you are a guest at an Arab's house, you usually don't see the hostess.The hostess stays in the kitchen cooking while the guests come.It is impolite to ask the host how his wife is doing.If you see an Arab wife, you can say hello, but you must not be overly enthusiastic. Don't take the initiative to shake hands with Arab women, they don't shake hands with men.

Arabs do not eat pork and prohibit raising pigs.

Do not ask the host for alcoholic beverages.

If the host grabs the rice with his hands, you'd better do the same, but only with your right hand.

Most Arab hospitality activities are attended by men only, and it is difficult to see their wives.

Arabs like to use pens as gifts very much, and they prefer fountain pens. Arabic characters written with fountain pens are smoother and more beautiful than other pens.

In addition, Arabs are very fond of gold.

[-]. Latin American Etiquette

Latin Americans are warm, friendly, especially hospitable and have the habit of giving gifts.Gifts for women include perfumes and things with trademarks, gifts for men should be novelty, or necessities for men should also be printed with trademarks.Novelty items related to the history and art of the foreign guests' home countries are suitable for both hosts and hostesses.

When invited to a Latin American home, flowers and good wine are welcome gifts from the host.

Latin Americans have the habit of toasting when eating, but the guests can only toast after the host toast.

Latin Americans pay attention to neatness in dress, even if the weather is hot, they also wear coats and ties.

Latin Americans are almost unbelievably hospitable and generous, and if you admire a Latin American's gold watch, he'll take it off and give it to you.

When you're with Latin Americans, they enjoy talking about local customs, history, and famous people.Latin Americans like to get very close to each other when talking, and sometimes they can almost touch each other's noses face to face.They squeeze each other's shoulders, touch each other's neckline to show their closeness, and often grasp each other's hands when acquaintances meet.Latin American men openly flirt with women on the street, thinking that every woman, married or not, likes a man to do it.Latin American women also flirt with men, but they show their affection and may burst into tears or lose their temper when they are in high spirits, confusing foreign men.

Latin Americans do things too casually, and it is normal for them to be late for formal talks by 10, [-], or [-] minutes.They can arrive whenever they want, work whenever they want, and no one wants to "stand out".

Thirteen. Some countries in the world have taboos on exchanges
1. Color taboo
Many European and American countries usually taboo black, because black is the color of funerals.

When Turks decorate their rooms and living rooms, they forbid color and color. Turkish folks always believe that color and color are bad omens.

Brazilians believe that death is like falling yellow leaves, so brown and yellow are taboo.

Ethiopians wear pale yellow when expressing deep condolences for the dead.Therefore, you can't wear light yellow clothes when you go out as a guest.

Belgians are most jealous of blue. If they encounter ominous things, they will use blue clothes as a symbol.

Thais avoid red, which is considered an unlucky color, because red is used to write the surnames of dead people.

The Egyptians avoid yellow because their mourning clothes are yellow.

Indians regard white as an unpopular color.

Iraqis hate blue and regard blue as a devil, so it is taboo to use blue in daily life.

Uruguayans avoid cyan, thinking that cyan means the eve of darkness.

2. Taboo on trademark patterns
It is taboo in Italy to use chrysanthemum as a trademark.

The French believe that walnut flowers are unlucky.

The British taboo to use portraits as decorations for commodities.

Countries that believe in Islam are taboo to use pigs as trademark patterns.

Some countries in North Africa are taboo to use dogs as trademarks.

Internationally, the triangle is used as a warning sign.

Czechs consider the red triangle to be a poisonous sign.

Green triangle means "free sample" in Turkey.

Switzerland avoids the owl pattern, thinking it is a symbol of the dead.

Some countries in Southeast Asia do not use the patterns of cranes and turtles.Because "crane" is regarded as a "erotic" bird, and "turtle" is regarded as a symbol of male "sex".Therefore, their patterns are not popular.

3. Flower taboo
In Brazil, the purple flowers are mainly used for funerals.

In France, yellow flowers are a sign of disloyalty; when you are a guest, do not present chrysanthemums to the host, and chrysanthemums are only sent at funerals.

In some countries in Latin America, chrysanthemums are regarded as a kind of "demon flower", and chrysanthemums are only placed before the soul of a person after death.

The Japanese avoid lotus.

The French believe that walnut flowers are unlucky.

In Germany, if you are invited to be a guest, don't give the hostess a red rose, because it is a gift for a lover.

In Switzerland, if you want to send one red rose, you can also send 20, but don't send 3, because 3 means that you are lovers.

4. Number taboo
(1) The taboo of "three"
Legend has it that during the Anglo-Dutch War in 1899, when a soldier used a match to light a cigarette for the third soldier, he was shot by the enemy and died. Since then, people have tabooed "three".Therefore, when encountering a cigarette lighting scene, after lighting the second one, extinguish the fire, and then change the match for the third party to light.

(2) Taboo of "four"
Since the pronunciation of "four" is similar to that of "death" in Chinese, many people in some eastern countries regard "four" as a number that indicates bad luck.

In South Korea, hotels in the past did not have four floors, house numbers did not have four, and almost everything did not use the word "four". Some families gave birth to a fourth son or daughter, which was also considered unlucky, and children were often abused.In the South Korean army, four words are not used, there is no fourth army, fourth division, fourth regiment, fourth battalion, fourth company, and fourth squad; there are first, second, third, and fifth sea areas but no fourth sea city .They believe that if a unit is ranked fourth, such as the fourth regiment, then this unit will definitely lose in battle.

(3) Taboo of "Thirteen"
Some Westerners taboo the number "thirteen".Thirteen has a very long history of being considered ominous, and experts believe there is good reason for that.Li Anwei Yashili, an English professor at the University of Brooklyn in New York, said: "The most widespread superstition is that NO.13 Friday is inauspicious. There is also a term for fear of this day, called NO.13 phobia, which is not only for Christians Yes, there are pagans.” Some people think that the ominousness of the thirteen originated from the Last Supper, when Jesus Christ had dinner with the thirteen disciples, and the person sitting No.13 was Judas who betrayed him.

Ancient documents show that the day Eve gave Adam the forbidden fruit was Friday No. 13; Cain killed his brother Abel and Jesus was crucified on Friday No. 13.In ancient Greece, mathematicians hated thirteen, considering it an "incomplete" number.The unofficial history of Rome says that wizards gather with 12 people, waiting for No.13 to arrive, and No.13 is the devil himself.In Norwegian mythology, twelve gods had dinner together in Valhalla, and the No. 13 god, the evil god Loki, broke in and killed a popular god, Bairada.In the Middle Ages, the salary of the hangman was thirteen coins, the ring had thirteen loops, and the gallows had thirteen steps.

Today, many hotels and office buildings in the west do not have a No.13 floor; some airlines do not have a No.13 flight, or even a No.13 row of seats. After No.12 is No.12 and a half, and the following is No.14; For dining seats in the banquet hall, NO.12 follows NO.14.

(4) "Friday" taboo

There are many legends regarding Friday as an unlucky day.

It is said that this is related to the Christian Bible records.Some ancient manuscripts say that it happened on Friday that Eve ate the apple, and it was on that day that she and Adam were expelled from the Garden of Eden by God.Cain killed his brother Abel on Friday.It is also Friday that Jesus was crucified.It is said that Friday was named in honor of the Norse goddess Freya.At first, Freya was not seen as a bad woman.According to Norse mythology, she is a goddess who builds bridges for people to marry, make people rich and have children.She was in a beautiful carriage drawn by many cats.In ancient Egypt, cats were considered man's best friend.After the cat died, the body was buried with spices in the cemetery for the cat.Killing a cat is a crime of decapitation, a more serious crime than killing a human being.But the Greeks regarded cats as evil animals, and believed that cats had a special ability to bring people to the "underworld".Therefore, Freya was regarded as a witch, and Friday became a "ghost day".It is said that the British Navy once wanted to break the ominous superstition of Friday, deliberately named a new ship "Friday", and laid the keel on Friday.Set sail on Friday and find a man named Friday to be the captain.As a result, after the ship went to sea, there was no news of it, and it never returned. It is even more ominous when "Thirteen" meets "Friday".

5. Contact taboo
When dealing with the British, pay attention to the following three points: don't wear a striped tie; don't use the royal family's family affairs as a topic of jokes; People are satisfied.

Europeans and Americans are taboo to talk about their private nature.For example: "How old are you?" "Are you married?" "How much income do you have?" "Where do you live?" It is not convenient to ask.Because Europeans and Americans want others to recognize their rights and respect the rights of others.Asking casual personal questions is tantamount to offending his dignity.

Germans pay more attention to form.When dealing with Germans, if the other party has a title such as a doctor, use this title.When friends meet or leave, they always shake each other's hands, so that they are happy.If you help the other person put on the coat, it will be more affectionate.

When you go to Finland, Sweden and other Nordic countries, if you are invited to be a guest at the host's house, you must arrive on time.Don't forget to bring some odd-numbered flowers for the hostess, preferably 5 or 7.

When getting along with foreign guests from Southeast Asian countries, don't cross your legs when talking.It is very impolite to inadvertently turn one foot around so that the sole of the shoe is facing the other.

In India, Indonesia, Arab countries, etc., you cannot use your left hand to contact others, nor can you pass things with your left hand.

In Buddhist countries, it is not allowed to touch the top of a child's head casually.

In South American countries, when you talk, you should be intimate and close, and when you speak, you should put your mouth to the ear of the other party quietly, but you should not be rude and dignified.

In Latin America, do not give gifts related to swords, because Latin Americans believe that giving a sword means cutting off the relationship.

Iranians say "good" can not give a thumbs up.

Some countries, such as Bulgaria and Nepal, shook their heads in agreement and nodded in disapproval.

Iranians are especially sensitive to baby eyes.Outsiders should keep silent about the baby's eyes. If they speak carelessly, the mother may pay for the baby's "evil eyes" to be dug out.

The British and Americans believe that mourning is a courtesy in the public, so they don't cry and make a lot of noise at funerals.

Indians think that it is contrary to etiquette not to beat their chests and feet and cry loudly during funerals.

When dealing with older people in Europe and America, you should pay more attention to what you say and do.If he or she is going up stairs or climbing a hill, never help them.Orientals believe that helping the elderly with disabilities is a respect for the elderly, but the elderly in Europe and the United States are just the opposite. Others feel that it is unseemly to help him or her, and it will cause a lot of unhappiness.Because they have a strong vanity, they always hope to appear in front of others with a youthful attitude.They pay attention to makeup, just to keep youth forever.So the word "old" is unpopular.

If you go to a Latin American country, you must be very careful when walking on the street.Two men or two women walking on the street must never hold hands.In our opinion, putting hands on shoulders is a friendly expression, but Latin Americans have another understanding.Because the issue of homosexuality in Latin America has become more and more visible and despised, it is considered natural for men and women to walk arm in arm in pairs on the street, while men and women of the same sex who walk arm in arm will be mistaken for homosexuals.

In Saudi Arabia, laughing is regarded as a symbol of unfriendliness and a great shame.When the younger generation sees the elders, if they don’t smile, they show respect and filial piety to the elders. If they smile at the elders, it will be considered disobeying the elders and a great insult to the elders, and the elders will go to the patriarch to complain.When a couple of young people are passionately in love, if the young man smiles, it will definitely make the "happy marriage" come to an end.Because there, the young man's smile will be regarded by the girl as a great insult and merciless blow to her, so she will immediately reject the young man's courtship.On the contrary, if the girl smiles, the young man will retaliate in the same way, and even never have any contact with the girl.

(End of this chapter)