Modern social etiquette and eloquence

Chapter 32 Love etiquette and eloquence between men and women (1)
Does love also need etiquette?Will this make both parties in love too cautious and unable to get close.The answer is: yes.And it is required.

Good etiquette and eloquence can not only reflect your personal charm and demeanor, but also deeply attract the eyes and hearts of the other party.Because a person who is quite self-cultivated, civilized and polite, and respects each other will be favored by all opposite sexes.

[-]. Etiquette when receiving a courtship letter
As the saying goes, "a family asks a hundred families".In this modern era of openness, not only girls, but also boys will be "pursued" by girls.Although the times are open, the etiquette when in love should also be observed.So when you receive a courtship signal, you should do the following.

(1) Pay attention to confidentiality, and don't make the city full of wind and rain.

(2) Respect each other and don't laugh at the suitor.

(3) If you already have friends, you should naturally explain the situation to the suitor, and you must not be ambiguous or vague.

(4) If you don't have a crush yet, and you don't like the person you're courting, you can politely decline.

(5) If you have a certain liking for the person you are courting, then you can express that it is okay to make friends.

(6) If you don't know the other person very well, you can entrust good friends or acquaintances to help you understand the other person's thoughts, style, interests, hobbies, and family, and then decide whether to get along.

(7) If you are still young and want to concentrate on studying and working well, and are unwilling to establish a romantic relationship prematurely, you can reply that you will not consider this matter for the time being.

(8) If the suitor intimidates you, puts pressure on you, or even has foul language or insults, you can report it to your parents and relevant organizations, and provide necessary help and education to the suitor or take appropriate measures.

(9) Respect the reasonable demands of the suitor.

(10) According to one's own personality, whichever method is considered to be the best one should be adopted.For example, a cheerful girl can have a face-to-face interview with her suitor; a shy person can use a letter; if she is unwilling to have an interview or use a letter, she can ask a good friend to help her deal with it.

Being loved is a kind of happiness, but whether you agree or not, you should not laugh at the other party.Because everyone has personality and needs to be respected.

[-]. There are skills in talking about love

The famous Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore once said: "Love is the poetry and the sun in life." Love is a very beautiful and delicate emotion in the world.

"Talk about love", these four words clearly tell people in love that if you want to get "love" and "love", you need to "talk" and "talk".Conversation in love is not only a technique, but also an art, which requires certain skills.

Louis Pasteur was a famous French microbiologist in the 19th century. He expressed his love in a very unique way.When Buster was teaching at the University of Strasbourg in France, he met Miss Marie, the daughter of the principal Laurent. After getting along for a while, Buster secretly fell in love with Mary.

So he wrote a letter of proposal to M. Laurent, Mrs. Laurent and Mademoiselle Marie respectively.In addition to expressing his sincere courtship, Buster also wrote in his letter to Mr. Laurent: "I should tell you the following facts first, so that you can easily decide whether to allow or refuse. My family background is average, and I have never I estimate that my family property does not exceed 5 francs, and I have already decided to give my share to my sisters. Therefore, I am only a poor man. What I have is health, bravery and a love of science, however, I am by no means someone who does science for status."

Buster's language is both frank and direct, but also strong emotion, and finally he wins the heart of Miss Mary.

The key to the success of love lies in your own language. It depends on whether you can express your uninterrupted love. Therefore, the first love conversation is the key to the success of love.

When Xin Fengxia, a famous Pingju performance artist, proposed to Wu Zuguang, she first took hints, but it didn't work, so she directly expressed her feelings.

Soon after the liberation of the whole country, they started dating, and their relationship grew stronger. Xin Fengxia admired Wu Zuguang very much, and hoped that he could live with her for a lifetime.

Once, when they were together, Xin Fengxia said: "Have you watched the play "Liu Qiaoer" I acted in?"

Wu Zuguang said, "I've seen it, it's really good."

Xin Fengxia said: "Businessmen in Qianmen Street are playing Qiaoer singing 'so I secretly fell in love with him... this time I will find my husband's family..."

But Wu Zuguang is very simple and didn't understand Xin Fengxia's meaning, so he said: "Cooperate with the promotion of "Marriage Law", this drama is the most popular."

Xin Fengxia thought: This opportunity to talk must be cherished, it should make him understand what she means.So, she plucked up the courage and said to Wu Zuguang, "I want to have a word with you..."

Wu Zuguang said generously: "Speak!"

Xin Fengxia said: "I want to marry you, are you willing or not?"

Wu Zuguang didn't make any preparations for this, he paused and said, "I have to think about it."

Wu Zuguang's words hurt Xin Fengxia's self-esteem, and she said to herself: "I really didn't expect it, it's like a basin of cold water pouring down from my heart!"

Wu Zuguang said: "I have to be responsible for your life!"

Later, the two became husband and wife.

The conversation during first love should be more ambitious in terms of ideals; more thirsty in knowledge; better in spirit; richer in emotion; more modest in tone; You should be more sincere in your mood; you should be more reserved in your love... If you can do this, the spark of love will definitely be able to burn blazingly.

[-]. The friction of love is resolved skillfully
The road in love is not always smooth.In the process of love, due to the different personalities of the two lovers and the deviation of understanding of some things, there will often be a lot of friction.

A girl in love has a very sensitive mind, and will often be overwhelmed by her boyfriend's inadvertent words, and even have many misunderstandings.In the face of misunderstandings caused by a girl's sensitivity, her boyfriend should patiently explain to her with reason and evidence, so that the other party's misunderstanding can be eliminated.

Long Wen is a boy with a strong sense of enterprise, but this advantage makes his girlfriend Zhang Lixia worry. She is always worried that after the two get married, Long Wen will only focus on developing his own career and don't care about her.

After repeated consideration, Zhang Lixia wanted to test Long Wen to see which was more important in Long Wen's mind, career or girlfriend.During a chat, Zhang Lixia said half-jokingly and half-seriously: "Long Wen, for me, can you really give up everything? Including your career?" Long Wen thought that Zhang Lixia was joking with him, so he said with a smile: "Of course No, career is very important to me.”

After hearing this, Zhang Lixia's face changed suddenly.Said angrily: "Hmph, I knew a long time ago that men are all of this kind of virtue, and they are all career freaks. You don't take me to heart at all!"

Upon hearing this, Long Wen knew that he had said something wrong, and quickly apologized to Zhang Lixia: "Xia, you misunderstood, I will not give up my career for you, but it does not mean that your position in my heart is not important. Similarly, for I will not give up on your career. You also know that I have a strong sense of professionalism, but you know? I work so hard to create a good environment for our future. If I can’t Let you have a happy life, what qualifications do I have to say "love you"? I think the reason why you like me should also be that you are ambitious. Do you hope that your future husband is a person who has no ambition? "

Zhang Lixia was deeply moved by Long Wen's sincere and frank words, and a happy smile appeared on her face.After the two got married, Long Wen had a successful career, and Zhang Lixia became his good wife.

Girls naturally like to play "little temper", especially girls in love.They often lose their temper because their boyfriend's words and deeds do not suit their own wishes.In fact, she is not really angry with her boyfriend, but deliberately angry to see if her boyfriend cares about her. At this time, the man should be more accommodating.

One evening, An Nan and Li Xiang had an awkward dispute over a trivial matter.When the two broke up, Li Xiang wanted to send An Nan home as usual, but An Nan insisted on refusing.

Li Xiang couldn't hold back An Nan, so he had no choice but to agree, but he was worried that An Nan would be afraid alone, so he followed her from a distance, silently watching An Nan walk into the house,

At around 9 o'clock, just as An Nan opened the door, the phone rang.She hurriedly picked up the phone, and Li Xiang's voice came from the receiver: "Nan. I'm Li Xiang."

When An Nan heard this, she was about to put down the phone when she heard Li Xiang say, "Hua, I feel relieved to see you coming home. I will have a good rest at night and I will go home too." After hearing Li Xiang's words, An Nan Hastily ran out the door, looking at Li Xiangyuan's back, tears could not stop streaming down.

Li Xiang conveyed his care and concern to An Nan with some decent caring words.Although the words are short, the meaning is strong; although the words are simple, the feelings are true.This well-timed and well-behaved remark made the other party extremely excited.

Love is the prelude to marriage. When there are clouds on your lover's face, you should "speak sweet words" to make him (her) cloudy and sunny, and the door of the palace of marriage will automatically open to you.

[-]. Focus on topics that lovers like
Larry and Phoebe are lovers, and this is a scene from their relationship.

Today, they have dinner together.Most of the time it was Larry who did the talking, talking like a professor giving a lecture to a student, and Phoebe, smiling and listening intently, nodding occasionally in agreement.

When Phoebe occasionally tried to speak, Larry quickly took the floor back to him.It was clear that Larry was obsessed with self-expression, while Phoebe was bored.What should have been a pleasant dinner ended in disappointment.

If Larry knew women, he would ask Phoebe many questions and interest her in the conversation.If Phoebe understands men, she can interrupt Larry at the right time and express her opinions more than just responding politely.It is impossible for a man to understand a woman's habits instinctively, and the result can be imagined.In fact, as long as a man expresses interest in what a woman is talking about, a woman will feel very happy, and this small change is enough to change the outcome of the relationship.

When a man becomes interested in a woman, he will naturally treat her the way he wants to be treated, but not necessarily the way a woman likes it.As a result, while the man pleases his girlfriend, he is also destroying the relationship.

For example, a man will talk about himself or some life truths to his date, and he is less willing to be a listener to listen to the other person's thoughts and take the time to understand the other person.He thinks this is the only way to impress the other party.When the woman keeps asking questions politely, the man will think that this is what the other party wants, and when the woman finally finds a chance to speak, he will mistakenly think that the other party is seeking advice, and then continue to provide solutions.In the end, the woman became less and less fond of the man, and the man didn't understand it, and felt baffled.

Of course, women also have a certain responsibility for this situation.Women often make the mistake of thinking that if a man loves her, he will know exactly what she needs and will do what's on her mind.When a man falls short of these requirements, she becomes very frustrated.A woman often asks questions to show she's interested in something, and when a man talks big, she listens patiently because she assumes he'll like her more if she shows interest.But this assumption does not apply at all to men.The more a man talks, the more interested he will be in the subject he is talking about.If a woman is going to get a man interested in her, she needs to speak up and express herself in a positive way.

Many women often ask: What should she do if a man keeps talking about himself?The answer is simple, it's just that women usually find this method too rude.Sometimes you just have to cut him off.

Some women wait for a man to ask her questions before starting a discussion, but a woman can just stop asking a man questions and join the conversation when the topic is over.

When a woman interrupts a man, assume that he is interested in what she wants to say.This assumption is usually true, and even if it is not, it gives the other person a chance to generate interest.When men chat, they don't think about who to invite. Anyone who has something to say can just say it directly.

Asking permission is not a good idea, you can try to start with a few words: "What you said: I think of the past..." Or simply say "I think..." "I like..." These are good The method used, the shorter the better, just join.In addition, interrupting the other person is not just to let yourself talk, men also like women to do it.This means that the woman is very confident, the girlfriend trusts him, the girlfriend is closely connected to him, the girlfriend likes to talk to him, he accepts what he says, and the girlfriend responds.

[-]. Praise: the more the better
Compliments are the best way for men and women to attract each other.If a man has a good impression of a certain woman, he can let the other party know his mind through compliments.It's just that sometimes a man compliments his girlfriend in the way he wants, not in the way a woman is used to.Likewise, many women don't know how to successfully compliment a man.Basically, men want to be appreciated and women want to be admired.

When a man's decision or action is thanked by his girlfriend, it is equivalent to giving him the highest compliment.Therefore, when a woman on a date says that today’s dinner was delicious, the movie was good to watch, and she had a good night, the man will feel very happy and have a sense of accomplishment.

When a man is thanked by the other party for a certain decision or action, it is tantamount to giving him the highest compliment.

Women are most gratified by direct and personal compliments, but men often don't understand this truth.In fact, the easiest way is to directly praise the other party's actions with positive adjectives, and this not only makes the other party feel loved, but also strengthens her sense of security, and also allows women to understand men better.This differs from the way men like to be complimented, so let's see this difference in more detail with some examples.

Indirect compliments (suitable for complimenting men):
"I think it's a good night."

Direct compliments (suitable for complimenting women):
"You're such a nice girl."

When a woman compliments a man indirectly, it can encourage the other party to continue to pursue her, make the man more confident in himself, have a sense of accomplishment, and greatly increase his affection for the person he pursues.If she doesn't compliment each other in this way, it may create a sense of distance between the two parties.

And if a man praises a woman in a direct way, it will make the woman feel cherished and respected by the other party, shorten the distance between each other, and be willing to respond more.

If a woman compliments her boyfriend on his car, stereo, or his favorite football team, she's really complimenting him.But women are different. They like the other party to directly praise her as a person.Because it means that the other party is paying attention to her and caring about her.If a guy compliments her personally three or four times during a conversation, it's a sign that he's genuinely interested in her.

As long as it is a sincere compliment, it is always pleasing.If a man can use more snacks when praising a woman, it will move the woman even more.Especially when a man uses some special adjectives, the other party will feel more special.

If you can add a question in addition to the words of praise, you can make the effect even better.Because a man's questions provide a woman with the opportunity to open up and share herself, by answering the question she can express her thoughts and make her appreciate a man who is willing to listen.Below are some examples.

"I really like your newly dyed hair. Have you received many compliments?" "Your necklace is so beautiful, have you bought it for a long time? Where did you buy it?" Wait, compliments only need to be spoken, But the effect is often much better than big pockets.

[-]. Comfort is the best expression of love

When a woman is in a trough, what she needs most is her boyfriend's love.

When a woman feels that someone is supporting her behind her back, her mood tends to improve gradually, and both parties can overcome the short-term low ebb.When the girlfriend is in a bad mood, the boyfriend must use appropriate words to comfort her, and she must not speak in a hurry to make the other party feel like adding fuel to the fire.

(1) When the girlfriend is upset,
She'll start complaining about her life.At this time, a man just needs to listen to her complaints and don't stop her.After she has said what she has to do, men don't help her find solutions, what she really needs is reassurance.

If she said, "I don't have time to go out, I have so much to do, I can't finish it."

At this time, the boyfriend can't say: "Then don't do so many things, you should take a good rest and relax."

Instead, say, "You really have a lot to do." Then, listen to her elaborate on each one with understanding.After listening to her, ask her if she needs help.

(2) When she worries that her boyfriend doesn't love her enough,
She may ask many questions, some about their relationship and some about his feelings.Questions like how much he loves her, or how he thinks she looks.At this time, there is no need to seek rational answers to these questions, because she just wants to establish some facts.

If she said, "Do you think we're compatible? Do you still love me?"

Boyfriends shouldn't say, "I think there's still something we need to talk about," or "How many more times do you have to ask? We've already discussed this topic."

Instead, it's better to say something like, "Yeah, I love you so much. You are the most special woman in my life." or "The more I get to know you, the more I love you."

(3) When a woman is in a happy mood, she will give more and hope to get more in return.When she finds out that she has given far more than she has received, and she is at a low point again, she develops feelings of resentment.The object may be her partner, work, life, parents or even traffic conditions or other objects.At this point, a man should never berate her, call her negative or unreasonable, or try to pull her out of these emotions right away.

If your girlfriend says, "I hate my supervisor, he demands too much of me."

Never say things like, "He probably doesn't know you've done a lot, and he just wants the best from you," or "You should tell him you've got enough and just say no."

(End of this chapter)