Modern social etiquette and eloquence

Chapter 5 Life etiquette and eloquence (2)
Guests should choose a good birthday gift, which should focus on congratulating the elderly on their health and longevity. They can send birthday peaches, birthday cakes, birthday noodles, birthday candles, birthday screens, birthday curtains, birthday couplets, birthday paintings, etc. The calligraphy and paintings mostly use pine and crane as the content. You can send handicrafts that the other party likes, as well as good wine and tea, walking sticks and other elderly products or clothing.In modern life, it is popular to send flowers, including flower baskets and potted flowers. Generally, you can send asparagus, evergreen, small banyan tree, podocarpus and chrysanthemum, which represent health and longevity. You can also buy some health care equipment as birthday gifts, such as electronic massage instruments. , fitness ball or other health care products, etc.

[-]. Wedding Etiquette

Marriage is a major event in life. In the feudal society of China, grand weddings were held, and there were many details and cumbersome ceremonies.With the development and progress of the times, this traditional concept has changed.From the beginning of marriage registration, marriage has been legally effective, but modern people still like to hold a wedding ceremony, which has become a ceremony to make the marriage relationship recognized by the society.

1. Choose an auspicious day
The fixed time of traditional weddings often has a certain superstitious color, such as choosing two days to hold the wedding.Modern weddings are mostly held on holidays. Sundays or statutory holidays, May [-]st, [-]th, and Spring Festival are often the time people choose for their weddings.Because during the holidays, it is convenient for guests to participate without affecting the work; while holding a wedding during the holidays, you can take advantage of the festive atmosphere to add a bit of festiveness.In rural areas, people mostly choose the slack season.

The venue for modern weddings is basically held at home in the vast rural areas.The wedding banquets of urban residents are mostly held in restaurants.In addition, there are also weddings held in churches that imitate Western etiquette.If it is a group wedding, it is generally arranged by the unit or group in the auditorium or club.Emerging wedding service agencies also provide venues for weddings.

2. Invite relatives and friends

Before the wedding, you should draw up a list of guests to attend the wedding, and send out invitations a week or two in advance, especially if you have relatives and friends from other places, and give the guests sufficient preparation time to avoid conflicts with other affairs and prevent them from attending the wedding.

The scope of invited guests depends on the size of the wedding, the degree of closeness and economic conditions, relatives and friends, including friends of the bride and groom, as well as friends of both parents, close colleagues or neighbors.You can also invite the leaders of the parents or children's units.It is important to note that the introducer must be invited to the wedding.

If you want to invite people with the same close relationship, please invite them all, or don’t invite them at all. Don’t invite A and forget B. This will easily cause emotional damage.In addition, for close relatives, distant friends or people who should be invited, even if you know that they have important affairs and cannot come, you should also send invitations to show respect, otherwise it will appear impolite.

Most of the invitations are oral and written.Oral invitations are generally used for relatives and friends who can meet frequently. They can be invited by phone or in person, or by sending invitations in writing. The size, quality, printing, and style of the invitations should be fully considered.Invitation cards should be elegant and festive, generally choose red and bronzing cover.It can be printed or handwritten.The content should state the time, place, names of the bride and groom, etc.Invitations are usually signed by the parents.For friends of the bride and groom, the groom or the bride can also write by themselves, which will make the relationship appear closer.In addition, several attachments can be sent with the invitation: one is a road map indicating the wedding location, and the other is a seat card indicating the banquet seat of the guests.If you need to know the number of participants, you can write "Please RSVP" on the invitation.Relatives and friends who have received the invitation, no matter whether "please reply" is written on the invitation or not, should contact the inviter in time to explain whether they can participate.

3. Preparing for the wedding
(1) Choose the best man and bridesmaid.Best man The best man is also called "best man" and "best man".

The bridesmaids generally choose the bride's sister, cousin or good friend, and the best man can choose the groom's brother or good friend.The main task of the bridesmaid is to accompany and assist the bride and groom in the wedding.

(2) To invite a good wedding host, generally please someone who is highly respected, personable and experienced; you can also hire a professional master of ceremonies to host.

The layout of the wedding venue is equally important. Pairs of "囍" characters are pasted on the outer door, venue door and inside the venue, and flowers and ribbons are placed.Where firecrackers are allowed to be fired, two red firecrackers can be hung outside the gate, which can add a lot of lively atmosphere.

For the couple, they should also prepare wedding dresses. The bride should prepare at least two sets: a set of wedding dresses for the wedding (can be rented or bought), and a set of festive casual clothes for the wedding banquet (general purchase or custom-made).The groom has a refined suit.

4. Wedding style
The traditional Chinese wedding form is the marriage ceremony, that is, the bride is taken from the woman's home to the man's home for the wedding.In modern society, there are more and more forms of wedding, varied and full of personality.

Modern weddings cut out many old complicated etiquettes. On the wedding day, the groom and the man’s relatives and friends go to the bride’s home to pick up the bride and the woman’s guests. When they arrive at the wedding venue, firecrackers are fired and the guests are seated. After the relatives and friends arrive, the ceremony begins. .Amidst the cheerful music, the host announced the start of the wedding ceremony, and the bride and groom both stepped in.Witness speech (marriage certificate read out).The salute is the most lively, usually three bows, according to the arrangement of the master of ceremonies, first salute to the elders and relatives and friends of the seniors, then the bride and groom salute each other and exchange gifts, and finally the newcomer salutes to all the guests.Next, the introducer, the elder or parents, and the newcomer can make speeches in turn to express congratulations or thanks.Then the banquet begins, the guests are seated, and the bride and groom start toasting to the guests from the main table, and peel off the wedding candy.

Western-style wedding ceremonies are mostly held in the afternoon, and the general guests have to arrive at the church 45 minutes or 1 hour in advance.The greeter will guide the guests to their seats according to their identity.The first few rows are the seating area for the newlyweds' family members, and the back is the guest area, which is divided into two parts: the groom's relatives and friends and the bride's relatives and friends.Facing the altar, the male guests are on the right and the female guests are on the left.The groom and best man arrive at the church before the bride, and the groom's parents arrive 5 to 10 minutes before the wedding. When the bride's mother and father arrive, the wedding ceremony begins.

In addition to Chinese-style and Western-style weddings, there are group weddings and literary weddings. More modern young people often use the way of traveling to get married, or advertise to announce their marriage. world of two.

5. Wedding ceremony
As a wedding guest, you should pay attention to neat, generous and festive clothing, avoid pure black and white, and women should make a little decoration, but be careful not to be too eye-catching and not to overwhelm the guests.

Wedding gifts should be carefully selected. You can send practical items, such as tea sets, wine sets, kitchen utensils, etc., as well as decorative or commemorative paintings, handicrafts, and unique toys. Pay attention to sending doubles and not singles.Friends of the opposite sex are forbidden to send personal items and jewelry.If you want to send a bouquet of flowers, you can choose to match roses, roses, carnations, ivy, stilts, lilies, and hives to express good wishes.

In addition to sending physical goods, red envelopes are also an option.Wrap a certain amount of money in red paper (take an even number, use new currency) and give it to the couple, which not only saves the trouble of choosing gifts, but also facilitates the other party to freely choose desirable necessities.

[-]. Funeral Etiquette

A person's death is as important an event as birth, so funeral rites are equally important.Although modern funerals are not as complicated and extravagant as traditional funerals, they are still grand and serious.Funeral etiquette is mainly to bid farewell to the remains and to hold a memorial service, and the two are often carried out at the same time.

1. Obituaries and funeral reports

To hold a memorial service for a person who made great contributions to society during his lifetime, it is often necessary to set up a funeral committee first, and then issue an "obituary" to the public.After a person dies, the announcement of the news is called "reporting the funeral". The family members of the deceased should inform the relatives, friends and relevant personnel of the death news.There are many ways to notify, such as calling, or sending a message. The content of the notification is to announce the date and cause of death, the date and place of the funeral, and the time, place, and contact person to contact.Oral notices are more casual, while written notices should pay attention to the format and terms, etc., with white envelopes and black letters for writing, and the words "Li Qi" and "Su Qi" should be added under the recipient's name.Write "×× (zi) mourning report" on the signature.

2. Funeral ceremony
Funeral ceremonies or memorial services are generally held in special places in the cemetery.The mourning hall (venue) should be solemnly and solemnly arranged.The elegiac couplets and elegiac curtains sent by relatives and friends should be hung inside and outside the hall, and flowers, pines and cypresses should be placed in the hall to surround the body.Next to the body, some favorite items of the deceased, or items representing his achievements, can also be placed.

The portrait of the deceased is placed in the center of the mourning altar, and the frame of the portrait is tied into a bow with black gauze (if the body has been cremated, an urn should be placed under the portrait); a black banner is hung above the center of the venue, and written in black and white, "××× Mourning "会" (regular script, not cursive or cursive script); wreaths, elegiac scrolls and elegiac couplets are placed on both sides.

Before the memorial service, the relatives and friends of the deceased greeted those who came to attend the memorial service on behalf of their families at the entrance of the venue, and distributed white flowers or black gauze.The host announces the beginning of the memorial service and plays mourning music.All stood up.All the people bowed three times to the portrait or the body, and then mourned for 3 minutes, and played dirge music at the same time.After the silent mourning, the host should turn around and announce: "The condolences are over." Next, the representative of the funeral committee or the main leader (generally, the representative of the deceased's family) will read the eulogy.Speeches by friends or guest representatives of the deceased.Play the sad music again to bid farewell to the portrait or corpse.The guests expressed their comfort to the relatives of the deceased in turn.Finally, the body is sent to the cremation room amidst the sound of mourning and music, and the ceremony comes to an end.

3. Etiquette for mourners
Guests participating in mourning activities should pay special attention to etiquette.When the deceased dies, he should go to mourn immediately.If you are in a different place, you can send a letter or telegram of condolence. Even if you are planning to attend the funeral, you should first send a telegram and inform of your intention to attend.Generally, there is no need to make a phone call (even if the notification of the funeral is made by phone); at the same time, other corresponding preparations should be made, such as wreaths, flower baskets, elegiac couplets, and elegiac curtains.The wreaths and flower baskets sent should be decorated with white silk (cloth) or paper logos, with "×× Eternity" written on it, and the signature "×× Respectful" and so on.Elegy couplets are mourning characters with Chinese characteristics, which can be written by the parties themselves, or they can be written by others.The joint language should summarize the life story of the deceased and the relationship with himself, etc., and the writing should be sincere and sincere.

The memorial service is a very sad and solemn occasion. Therefore, the mourner should dress solemnly. Generally, dark clothes are suitable, but more elegant clothes can be worn. White flowers, yellow flowers or black gauze can be worn on the clothes.Women's accessories should be simple and generous, and they must not dress in flashy clothes, because this is a serious faux pas.

At a memorial service, attendees are expected to demeanor, walk softly, and speak in low tones.After the memorial service begins, you should stand upright according to the prescribed position, don't look around when playing mourning music, and bow your head in silence when mourning.Don't be too sad, just express your condolences.The mood of the family members of the deceased should be considered, and words and deeds should not arouse the grief of the family members of the deceased. It is best not to mention the tragedy of the deceased and the situation before his death.The family members of the deceased should be comforted and persuaded as much as possible.It is necessary to respect the arrangement of the family members of the deceased and abide by the order of the venue. Don’t talk and laugh in groups when you don’t see acquaintances, and you can’t leave the venue midway. That is not only disrespectful to the deceased, but also impolite to the family members of the deceased.

[-]. Etiquette in public places
Public places refer to the places where the public conducts public activities and provide services for the public, such as parks, theaters, libraries, shops, streets, transportation places, etc.As a civilized and educated person, we should attach great importance to etiquette in public places.

1. Pay attention to public health
Due to the frequent flow of people in public places, the hygiene of public places depends on everyone to maintain.Avoid littering and spitting in public places; in theaters, avoid eating foods with melon rinds and fruit shells; for packaged small foods, you should also pay attention to the handling of the packaging, so that they are packed together , Throw it into the fruit bin.

2. Treat people politely, respect the old and love the young

In crowded public places, crowding will inevitably occur. You should give way to others in a friendly manner, and you should not rush and squeeze silently, bumping and forcing.When meeting the elderly, pregnant women, women with children, disabled people and other infirm and inconvenient people in public places, they should take the initiative to give way and give up their seats, and do not take advantage of their weaknesses to grab seats or occupy roads.If you accidentally collide with others, you should apologize immediately, say "I'm sorry" or "Please forgive me", and you should not stare, speak rudely, or even fight.Under normal circumstances, try to avoid squeezing and sticking to other people's bodies (especially the opposite sex). If it is really too crowded and you cannot avoid it, you should also sincerely apologize, and others will forgive you because of your politeness.

3. Abide by public morality and pay attention to laws and regulations

There are many people in public places, and everyone should consciously abide by public morality.When walking on the street, when there are many people, you should line up. When more than 3 people are walking together, avoid lining up with arms crossed to prevent others from passing, otherwise it will not only affect the traffic order, but also endanger your own safety.When queuing up for shopping (tickets) in public places, firstly, avoid crowding and booing, and secondly, avoid getting too close to the people behind you, and avoid coughing, smoking, and shaking when you have to be squeezed.The order of queuing should be first come, first served. It is impolite to "stop" yourself, and it is also rude to "stop" to help others.If there is an emergency or special reason, you can politely ask for the consent of the people in line before you can go through it first.After you are done, you should thank the people behind you again.In public places, when you are criticized or punished for violating relevant regulations, you should avoid making unreasonable and hurtful words, but admit your mistakes with an open mind and accept them sincerely.

4. No smoking in public places

In today's world, restricting smoking in public places has become a fashion.Some developed countries (regions) and some big cities in my country have successively stipulated that smoking is prohibited in public places.This is mandatory.Even in public places without such regulations in small and medium-sized cities, you should pay attention to restraint, take the initiative not to smoke or smoke as little as possible.When smoking, it is even more forbidden to puff in the face of others, and throw ash, cigarette butts and matches at random.In public places, no matter whether you smoke or not, do not offer cigarettes to others.When you get along with others, if there are elderly people and ladies present, you should ask for their consent before you can smoke, but you should not think that once you get consent, you will smoke one after another, unscrupulously. Smoke more than ever.

5. Elegant manner and elegant demeanor

Public places belong to everyone, not personal residences. Therefore, all behaviors should be civilized and generous, and vulgar words and deeds should be avoided.For example, in elegant and quiet places such as theaters and libraries, it is not advisable to whisper incessantly, and it is not advisable to make loud noises.If you are late to take your seat, you should politely ask others to make way; if you find that your seat is already occupied by someone else (maybe a couple or a lover), when you ask for a change of seat, you should take care of it as much as you can, and don't press people with reason, refuse rudely, or drive them away forcibly The other party, put the other party in a passive and embarrassing situation.When you are in public places with your lover, you should pay attention to your behavior, words and deeds, and you should not ignore others, which hinders elegance; women should be more self-respecting and dignified.

6. Appropriate clothing and civilized behavior

In different public places, you should pay attention to whether your clothes are decent.Generally speaking, clothing requirements vary with occasions, seasons, and the circumstances of the wearer.Even if the weather is hot, it is not advisable to go topless.It is understandable to be easily excited when watching sports games, but avoid shouting, stomping, or even throwing objects into the field, let alone attacking referees or making noise with spectators supporting opponents due to excitement.

[-]. Going out and traveling etiquette
With the improvement of people's material life and cultural living standards, people's consumption concepts are also constantly changing, and more and more people are joining the ranks of tourism.Sightseeing is good for your health and knowledge, and it is a very meaningful activity.If you don't understand etiquette when traveling, it will make the originally meaningful and interesting activities backfire.It will help you to learn some etiquette knowledge when traveling abroad.

1. Riding Etiquette
For most people, the train is still the main means of transportation for long distance travel.The passenger transport situation of my country's trains is still in a state where there are many passengers and the conditions are relatively simple and crowded.It is especially important to maintain a good demeanor when traveling under such conditions (the following etiquette norms are also suitable for boats).

(1) Civilized waiting
After buying the ticket, you still need to wait for a while before getting on the bus.The waiting time is mainly spent in the waiting room.Waiting in a civilized manner requires us to be polite and well-educated passengers, pay attention to influence others from the beginning, and cooperate with the station staff to create a clean and warm waiting environment.In the waiting room, don't make loud noises, don't spit, don't litter, take care of your children, don't let them run around or defecate anywhere.When checking tickets, there is no crowding, no pushing and shoving, and the elderly, children, and disabled people are courteous, and they line up in order.Do not smoke in the waiting room.

(2) Mutual respect

Respect other passengers and build harmonious relationships during the journey.After you enter the station and get on the train, don’t rush to grab the seat you see. If you buy a standing ticket, you should politely ask the passenger next to you for permission before taking your seat; Attendees' seating requirements.When using luggage racks, take care of each other, don't monopolize too much space, and don't brutally use your own luggage to crush other people's luggage.Before moving other people's luggage, you must first ask for permission from others.When everything is well arranged, you should politely say hello to the neighbors and nearby passengers, express your friendliness kindly, and talk after getting familiar with each other.When talking on the road, it is not advisable to inquire about the purpose of other people's travel, do not pry into the other party's privacy, and do not rashly ask the other party to leave their address; if the neighbor is of the opposite sex, you must avoid it.Even if you sit on the side with your friends, don't act like no one else, laughing and playing.In the sleeper car, do not stare at other people's bedtime preparations and sleeping appearance; when you undress yourself to go to bed, you should turn your back to other passengers.

(3) Cooperate with flight attendants
(End of this chapter)