Mind Control and Distraction: Mind Control Techniques for a Lifetime

Chapter 33 The transfer of emotion and attention (1)
Divert your attention and shift your gaze from the shade to the greenery.
-
Lana Del Rey
don't focus on one thing

I think we've all had this experience: we're so engrossed in thinking about one thing, the more we think there's no way out, the worse it gets.At this time, your attention is only on this one thing, and this thing makes you have no time to take care of other things.At this time, learn to divert your attention.At this point you may be asking, I’ve spent the whole day thinking about it, how do I take my attention away from it?It's not difficult, calm down now, and start to look at the room you are in now, the curtains are blown by the wind, the sun is flickering on the ground, and there is a path about 5 meters wide outside the window, A child on roller skates quickly disappears around the corner.Look over there, an old lady is leading her pet dog, oh, it looks like a Dalmatians.Looking back into the room, there is a cup of coffee on the table, that is your favorite latte every morning, it makes you energetic all day... try to describe to yourself all the sights you see, different forms , color, content.Did you realize that during the whole process, you are no longer trapped in the previous confusion?We all seem to believe that interrupted thoughts and attention are a bad thing.Just like we are still children in class, we will always be reminded by the teacher if we don't study hard.But once the brain starts to freeze, you can't get out of it, and this emotion controls your entire mood and actions.In fact, we can break this deadlock by diverting attention.Take a look at what is at hand, take a sip of coffee on the table, smell the flowers and plants in the yard, and describe this complex information to yourself.Repeated practice of diverting attention will help you get out of confusion and break the deadlock.When we're stuck ruminating and can't find an answer, it's possible we're forgetting something and not realizing it.We can consciously observe our thoughts for a period of time, including all thoughts, regrets, remorse, sadness, all feelings.It doesn't even take time to observe or think about it. When we faced this kind of dilemma before, we always felt depressed, pessimistic and disappointed.When you sit quietly in a chair and objectively think about these thoughts and feelings, what exactly does it do to you?And then you realize that these are the things that create the unhappiness that happens in your life.That is, we spend our time thinking about and recalling unpleasant experiences.This is a vicious circle. It seems that if you think about it carefully, you can figure out why.But in the process, you missed everything that happened now. What if there is a sudden turning point to success?But you were so caught up in unpleasant thoughts that you didn't notice.Knowing this, we can get rid of unpleasant thoughts faster, and you won't suffer from them.At this time, we must train ourselves to pay attention to the information of the outside world.For example, I am sitting in the study of a house in the Ohio country, on a July morning, very cool and comfortable.I turned my head and saw the street outside the window, young people jogging in the morning talking and laughing loudly.The vines outside the window have little clusters of grapes that should be ready to eat next month or my wife will use to make wine, it's delicious.On the desk is my breakfast, mocha coffee and bacon sandwiches.I got up and walked out of the room, the air was clean and crisp.Neighbors were weeding and greeted me.I looked up at the sky, and a flock of birds flew by.A pleasant and beautiful morning, which makes me feel peaceful and happy from the inside out.Because I'm alive—I can feel these wonderful things when I'm alive, and I'm happy because I'm alive.

Divert your attention and feel in detail what is going on in front of you. Maybe you are not in the country, but you are living a busy and stressful life in the city.But you can try to close your eyes, calm down, and ask yourself, what is happening at this moment?What do I feel?Get out of trouble with these tiny flashes of happiness in your life.

out of the cage
Now calm down and start thinking about the past that made you unhappy.Try to remember.See how your thoughts are structured, recall the unpleasantness, how you figured it out, and its cause.You begin to wrestle with your past and even your present, desperate to find the truth. "How could Dad say something like that?" Then you sink into the valley of memories.You're counting your past heartbreaks.You can't help but go back to those scenes -- it's unacceptable and unfair, it's horrible.Your mind is like a spinning wheel, you sink deeper and deeper, sinking.See, with so many images of the past in your head, your mind is always active.You are actively trying to figure something out in your head, repeatedly judging, struggling, opposing and questioning - in order to find answers and justice.You start trying to stop your thoughts, but you fail.This nightmarish cage confines you every day.Whenever you start to sink into memories, you get lost in them, as if you forgot yourself.There is another solution called mindfulness.If we recall the past, we are nothing but memories.We don't control anything, and we can't make judgments.We recall them, but cannot resolve them.Give yourself some time, let us return to peace.Pay attention to your breathing and allow yourself to be distracted.You may or may not be able to do it all at the moment—turn your attention from your breath to your other thoughts.Slowly bring your attention back and try not to control it, just breathe: inhale, exhale.Keep an eye on your breathing for 10 minutes.It's not a task, it's just undivided breathing.It is yourself slowly returning to the breath, breathing calmly and slowly.At this moment, you are no longer struggling, but just aware of this moment.When you realize that you are thinking about it, step away from your thoughts, get out of the cage, stop thinking about them, and practice mindfulness through breathing.Continue to breathe calmly and slowly, and stop thinking about the right and wrong of the past.Let it go and get back to your breath.Your thoughts will try to interfere with your conscious breathing.Slowly, let go of your thoughts and come back to the breath, to the present moment.Maybe at some point, the mind will invade again and return to the breath again.In this way, the cycle repeats.When you get out of your mind, out of the cage, the "now" is right in front of you.It will also become the past, and each moment is a new "now", coming and going, alternating.

don't reject flashes of inspiration

When you're meditating, negative thoughts come into your head, whether they're about the past or the present, and you have to pay attention to them. "How could Joe treat me like that?" or "What did Lee think of me!" Such thoughts make you have no time to care about other things. You want to put everything away and solve the problems in your mind that are confusing you. problem, and feel that this is all as it should be, and you remind yourself that if you don’t get this done, nothing else will ever get done.But suppose at this moment a sudden inspiration flashes into your mind, what will happen?If you accept it, it is as natural as you see the trees outside the window or the pedestrians on the road, just perceive it.If you neither drive it away nor fight against it, what will happen?But if you're busy with your life, and you're busy worrying about the past and the present, then you're simply too busy getting rid of your old thoughts.So your attitude to those nice messages is "I see you, but I'm busy with my life."
This is actually a little reminder and revelation from life to us.When you see the beautiful things that catch your eye, you know, "Oh, life reminds me that I should go to a friend's party." Or "I should go to the countryside with the kids." At that time, negative thoughts will stop the "attack" on emotions, and return to a relaxed and happy state of mind before continuing to live.At the same time, by allowing a little space for negative thoughts, we ourselves live our lives in the true sense of the present.

For years, we seem to believe that we can learn something from pain and avoid similar pain in the future.This belief allows us to constantly filter through our minds the painful past instead of thinking about what we are losing now.At this time, in the previous article, I have proposed many methods to help you break the cycle of repeated thinking.For example, you can set a time limit so you don't spend all day in brooding.You can also think about any kind of action that works to solve the problem -- or, if one problem doesn't work out, then think about other problems you can solve and what effective actions you can take.You can use the practice of mindful breathing to divert your attention away from intruding thoughts and instead focus on your present breath.You can even open the door of your mind and accept the constant stream of thoughts that come into your head instead of fighting or resigning to it.

Changing the practice of ruminating is the key to challenging the self-defeating process.Self-defeation can exacerbate your depression.Stop brooding and turn your attention to what's happening, to action, to accepting what's happening, and learning to let go of it.Live in the present and let go of the past.Take action to pursue goals that are authentic and within your reach right now.

Challenging rumination practices

Do you have a tendency to ruminate—repeating negative thoughts over and over in your head?
What does rumination mean to you?What do you want from thinking about it?
What are the disadvantages of rumination?Have you ever noticed that it makes you anxious or regretful?
·Recognize that you can tolerate uncertainty and accept ambivalence—both your own and others'.

·To ruminate is to make sense of the past—but why do you have to make sense of the past?Wouldn't you be better off if you accepted reality as it is?
Can rumination solve your problems?Are there other problems in real life that you can solve?

·If you can't stop ruminating, you can limit.Set aside 5 minutes for "thinking time".

Make a note of the things you ruminate on and see how they recur over and over again.

·Your mind can only stay in one place at a time.Turn your attention from thinking about the past to something else.

·Ask yourself, what am I missing in my life when I ruminate?
·Practice mindfulness, stepping out of your thoughts, and observing thoughts as they arise or disappear.

·When an idea pops into your head, don't fight it, but don't follow it either.Accept it and move on with your life.

Humor is the spice of life

Humor adds fun to our life, it is a special emotional expression.Humor is a tool for people to adapt to the environment, and it is also one of the ways to reduce mental and psychological pressure when humans face difficulties.The Russian writer Anton Chekhov said: People who don’t know how to joke are hopeless people.In fact, a sense of humor is people's best emotional bulletproof vest, an emotional engine that never rusts, and the best seasoning for life cooking.People with a good sense of humor have the means to fully exert the effectiveness of their emotions, thereby improving work efficiency.

Humor can provide real nourishment for human spiritual life and make the spiritual soil more fertile.Humor can downplay negativity and eliminate depression and pain.People with a sense of humor live full of fun and will not feel that life is boring or meaningless.Dealing with troubles and contradictions with humor will make you feel harmonious, happy and friendly when getting along with others.

All in all, humor is a kung fu with profound inner strength, which can effectively adjust people's emotions and cultivate people's sentiments.The role of humor is mainly manifested in the following points:
(1) Resolve conflicts.A sense of humor can help us tap into the comedic potential of any situation.Therefore, we can use laughter instead of scolding to resolve the tension during confrontation.

(2) Relieve stress and get through the low tide.A sense of humor requires a playful mental framework that allows us to find courage and hope in any setback.And the secret of this is to jump out of one's own role and look at one's own situation with the perspective of a third party.

(End of this chapter)