Mind Control and Distraction: Mind Control Techniques for a Lifetime

Chapter 35 The elements and characteristics of a successful personality (1)
Wherever thought takes you, you are today; where thought takes you, you will be tomorrow.
-
Didnor

Diagnose your success

Failure and success can be diagnosed like diseases.And this is very necessary, because we often cannot judge ourselves objectively.Whether everyone can succeed more easily seems to be an enduring topic.I have found that the most direct and simple way of instilling in a man a certain habit or character suitable for success is to first paint him a vivid form, which clearly describes what a successful character is like, and so on.As mentioned earlier, each of us has an automatic success mechanism. To activate it, we must tell it a clear goal.I think none of us want to live a life of self-deprecation, we all want to constantly improve ourselves in life and get a better character.But when asked which aspect we want to improve and to what extent, there is often no clear answer. Of course, we don’t know what the so-called good character is and how to obtain it.In fact, a good character is a character that allows you to respond rationally and appropriately to real life. It can help you achieve your goals and make your life happier and fuller.

I have discovered more than once that many distressed and confused people lose themselves when facing a certain goal and cannot find the direction to move on.For example, I once saw a young man who worked hard under the leadership, and he was finally promoted.But when faced with the stage where he needs to stand out alone, he becomes timid, cringe, and even begins to doubt himself.At this time, what we need to learn is that when we are given a new mission in life and become a new role, we need to establish a new self-image.This awkward young man found me. "I really don't know what to do," he said. "I used to work so hard and desperately just to get promoted today, and I had a very good vision for my job at that time. At that time, I thought, If one day I can be promoted, I will work hard, and I will do better in the new position. But now, why do I suddenly lose confidence. I am a manager now, but I don’t have the confidence I had when I was a staff member , I am so useless. Sometimes I feel that such a short man, how can I be a successful manager?" The poor boy is too sensitive to his height, thinking that his height is not too high. Causes of uneasiness.In the days after he was promoted, the young man felt that his parents and girlfriend were "too unreasonable", and his parents were always nagging about trivial matters, so that he locked himself in the room every day after returning home, not wanting to talk to Parents say one more word; girlfriend's comfort is also regarded as "not understanding" by him.The young man calmed down after being alone for a while, and he said to me, "Parents really care about me, they are meticulous. My girlfriend is also very gentle, and always wants to share my worries when I am unhappy. Often after I get angry, I fall into Blame yourself." It's not hard to see that the poor chap is one of the many who can't develop a new self-image when building a new role.These troubles do not lie in their "short stature" or other appearance factors, but in their self-image.When they enter a new role, they cannot lack zinc to play this role well and what kind of person they will eventually become.In other words, they did not form a new life plan for their new life.

try to picture success
Regarding the appearance of success, I believe that everyone is trying to describe it, and I found that the character traits of success are very comprehensively included in every letter of the word "success".A successful personality consists of the following elements: S (Sense of direction)
U (Understanding, Linderstanding)
C (Courage, Courage)
C (Tolerance/sympathy, Charity/compassion)
E (Respect, Esteem)
S (self-confidence, Self-confidence)
S (Self-acceptance, Self-acceptance)
Understanding
Understanding comes from good communication and communication.Communication is as vital to humans as it is to an instrument or computer.If the information you receive to act on the basis that the information is wrong, or if you simply don't know or understand the information, then you won't be able to respond appropriately.In most cases "chaos" is the beginning of the abyss of pain.So if you want to solve a problem effectively, you must have a deep understanding of the nature of the problem. Think about it, many of the gaps in our interactions with people are caused by misunderstandings.We always use our own thoughts to speculate on others. When faced with the same problem, we think that other people's reactions are the same as ours.But anyone's response to anything is shaped not by the thing itself, but by their unique self-image.So when we feel frustrated and confused because others think differently from us, the others are not out of malice, but because their "understanding" of the same situation is different from ours.They are just reacting as they think is appropriate to the facts they see.If we stubbornly conclude that other people's different views are out of malice or an attack on ourselves, this will cause our relationships to suffer.If you want to achieve a relatively harmonious relationship in the process of interacting with people, you might as well try to ask yourself from the perspective of others, "If it were him, what would I think?" "How does she understand this issue?".Stop aggressive guessing and doubting.In fact, many times subjective opinions and facts are mixed together, leading to wrong conclusions, and we will be confused.For example, the facts: a child made a mess in the room; his mother's opinion: he must see that I am not busy enough, and deliberately provoke me.Fact: The passer-by coughed slightly when passing you; your opinion is: Have I seen him?Have I provoked him?Fact: Two girls are talking and laughing at the dinner table; your perception is that these two children have no respect for others.There are really too many cases like this, I can guarantee that each of us has such an experience, and it is impossible to talk about it for three days and three nights.But when we realize that the seemingly obnoxious behavior of these people is not intentional and does not mean to offend you, we feel "insulted" in our own imagination.If you want to stop this "insult", you must stop these wrong ideas, look at the facts objectively, and respond appropriately.This requires us to be willing and brave to face the truth.Sometimes we use our own thoughts to think about others, and often our thoughts include fear, anxiety, contempt, and so on.This again puts us in the danger of "insulting" ourselves.Coping effectively with circumstances requires a willingness to acknowledge the facts about them.Whether the truth is good or bad, we should see it clearly and react appropriately.Orientation
A sales executive was at a loss.But once he clearly recognizes the fact that he has been motivated for several years by strong personal goals he wants to achieve, including his desire to get his current position, he can regain his self-confidence in a short time.These goals, which are very important to him, can keep him on the right track.Once promoted, however, he seems to no longer remember what he really wants, but instead thinks in terms of what is expected of him and whether he can live up to the goals and standards they have set for him.He is like a climber who looks up at the peak he is about to climb and feels fearless and acts bravely, but once he reaches the top, he starts looking down and becomes afraid.His current goal is to keep his current position, not continue to play offensively to achieve goals like goal seekers.If he sets new goals for himself and starts thinking in terms of questions like, "What do I want from this position? What do I want to achieve? Where should I go?", he'll regain his new direction and control capabilities.

There is an old saying in China, if you sail against the current, you will retreat if you do not advance.If you can't move forward, it means going backwards.God has given each of us an automatic success mechanism, and we are born with the ability to overcome difficult circumstances and solve various problems.If there are no setbacks and obstacles in our lives, then we will have no goals and pursuits, and we will not be able to obtain real happiness and satisfaction on the road of life.Try to recall your mood when you were successful in the past. People who say that life is boring, I think most of them have not given themselves a clear direction. With direction, life will naturally enter a new stage. *Soul Prescription*
In the previous article, we introduced many techniques such as the formation of self-image and the use of automatic success mechanism.Today is a good time to practice this way.It's even better if you set yourself a worthwhile goal and a plan for the future.Figure out what you want out of a situation.Always put before you something that you desire (pursue or yearn for).To look forward, do not be timid.It is necessary to develop the good habit of "looking forward to the future" instead of the habit of "missing the past".Dreaming about the future keeps you young.When you are no longer a goal seeker, without any expectations for the future, even the body cannot function properly.This is why some people die of depression not long after retirement.If you have no goals to pursue, no expectations to aspire to, you are not truly alive.In addition to purely personal goals, you should at least have an impersonal goal or ideal to which you can devote yourself.It's okay to be interested in a cause that helps others, but you don't do it out of a sense of duty but because you want to.

courage
Having goals and understanding the situation is not enough.You also need to have the courage to act, because goals, wishes and beliefs can only become reality through action.

Nelson was quoted in the personal motto of U.S. Navy Admiral William F. Halsey, "A captain can make no great mistake if he lays his ship alongside an enemy ship." Halsey said: ""The best defense is to attack violently" is a military principle, but its application range is far from limited to the field of warfare. As long as you not only do not avoid evasion when faced with problems, but also face them bravely, then all problems, no matter Whether it's a personal problem, a national problem or a struggle, it all looks small in front of you."
How can you be more courageous and fearless in life?Psycho-Cybernetics theory has the power to answer this question.When you systematically reinforce your self-image and understand that "my flaws are not my fault," you'll find that it's extremely easy to take reasonable risks without caring what others think and worrying that you might temporarily look funny and stupid if you stumble.How can you appear more assertive and persuasive when making your point in the workplace?When you have introduced the product you want to sell in front of the customer, how can you get an order clearly, decisively and confidently?How can I walk on the dance floor with confidence when I always believe that I "walk smoothly"?When you gain more courage it means you have more peace of mind.Anyone, at any age, has the opportunity to be "reborn", it all depends on whether you are brave, whether you have a self-image that would rather bend than bend, and persevere.

why not give yourself a go

Nothing in this world can ever be absolutely certain or absolutely guaranteed.The difference between winners and losers is often not because the former is more capable and has better ideas, but because the former has the courage to gamble with his own ideas, dare to take reasonable risks after careful consideration, and dare to act.

We usually think of courage as inextricably linked to acts of heroism on the battlefield, in disaster, or in times of danger.But everyday life also requires courage.

"Standing still" (that is, not taking action) can make the person facing the problem nervous and feel that they are in a difficult situation or behind bars.This practice brings with it a host of physical symptoms.

I tell this kind of person:
Thoroughly understand the current situation and any small problems, analyze your position, go through the actions you think are feasible, and imagine the consequences of each action one by one.Then at this time you should be able to know the most appropriate course of action through comparison.But if we wait until the truth is almost out, and the results are sure, before taking any action that anyone would think of, then in fact, the matter has already been declared a failure before you act.You must know that when you take any action, there may be unexpected events that you did not expect, and you may also make mistakes. Any decision you make now may be a failed decision, but it cannot be denied that it also has a chance of success.But do we really have to give up taking action because there is a chance of failure?Having said that, we may encounter earthquakes and tsunamis every day when we go out, so why don't we go out?This is just a joke, what I mean is that you should have the courage to take the risk of being wrong every day, think of the consequences and the consequences of any action before taking any action - but don't be afraid of them.Know that as long as you are willing to take action, you have already taken a step towards success.General Norman Schwarzkopf once said that leadership requires decisive decision-making.

Most leaders agree that success stems from decisive decision-making and course correction, not procrastinating, and possibly trying to make fly in the ointment choices.Hardly any success is achieved in a straight line, from point A to point B, from idea to fruition.The vast majority of success has gone through a tortuous process.

If you want to achieve your ideals, you should allow yourself to make mistakes and bear them bravely.Know that no one is perfect, and never demean yourself.Our potential may never be fully explored in a lifetime, that is to say, you never know how capable, smart and brave you are.In fact, men, women and children can become heroes, and those who seem not to be heroes do so because they do not doubt their abilities.As long as we can clearly understand ourselves, each of us is a treasure of knowledge, and this treasure is full of power to help you solve various problems.Any difficulties and obstacles can be dealt with.But if you clearly have that treasure in you, and you don't take action on it, don't give it a chance to show itself, you'll never use it.

There is also a small suggestion, that is, when doing some seemingly trivial things, subconsciously tell yourself to use your own "treasure", knowing that our treasure not only has the power to deal with big problems, but also has the power to solve small problems Ability.Think of it as a little training in the skillful use of our treasures, every exercise of courage will make your path to success more stable.

broad minded

Our life is getting faster and faster, and people seem to forget about nourishing the soul, so how to have self-esteem in a world that lacks respect?Just as the increasing stress I observed in the late 20s and early 50s was "pediatrics" compared to today's frenzied pace of life, so the increasing politeness and respect I saw in the 60s and 20s The absence is nothing but a proper "rehearsal" of the uncivilized world today.Everything in daily life really hurts people's self-esteem: the accountants in my company treat the employees like a pile of forms without emotion; Rudeness and so on, with the increasing pace of life, civilization and etiquette are gradually lost in all aspects.People think more about themselves than others.

Is the world without respect slowly getting better and getting worse?Depends on everyone who inhabits this world.Mainly reflected in two points, namely: people's self-image and respect for others.Successful people are better at paying attention to and respecting others.They show respect for other people's problems and needs.They respect the nobility of human nature, and treat people as their own kind, not as "stepping stones" in their game of life.They believe that every human being is a child of God, a unique individual who deserves dignity and respect.

It is a psychological fact that how we feel about ourselves sometimes coincides with how we feel about others.When a person interacts with others and he is kind, he always feels that he should also treat himself kindly.People who feel that others are not very good have little respect and concern for themselves deep down.One of the most famous ways to overcome guilt is to stop blaming others in your head—stop judging them, blaming and hating them for their mistakes.When you feel that others are worthy of your respect, you develop a better and more appropriate self-image.

There is another reason why being lenient is the outward expression of success: being lenient means that the person respects reality.People are important and unique, and you cannot treat others as animals or machines or as "stepping stones" for a long time in order to achieve your personal goals.

(End of this chapter)