Mind Control and Distraction: Mind Control Techniques for a Lifetime

Chapter 36 The elements and characteristics of a successful personality (2)
It is an act of tolerance to be kind to anyone, because doing so is not always immediately reciprocal for the individual.You can't see it as a transaction, but you have to take the long view and see it as a means of strengthening your self-image as a contribution to society as a whole.

The prescription for tolerance consists of three "drugs": (1) strive to truly appreciate others by recognizing the facts about them, recognizing that they are children of God, uniquely individual and creative beings; (2) find ways to stop Think about other people's feelings, perspectives, wishes and needs.Put yourself in other people's shoes and think about what they want and how they feel.I have a friend who likes to joke around with his wife.Whenever his wife asked him the question, "Do you love me?", he said to her, "Yes, I will love you if I just stop to think about it." That makes sense.If we don't "stop and think" about other people, we can't empathize with how they feel. (3) Act in accordance with the idea that "others are important" and treat them accordingly.

respect others
It has been said that the worst doubt is doubting yourself.Yes, among all the traps in life, the most deadly and insurmountable danger is that you don't believe in yourself and look down on yourself.The root cause of these situations is entirely ourselves.Often we justify ourselves with "I can't do it" or "I'm totally useless".Falling into the trap of self-doubt can have a huge impact.Personally, it deprives you of material rewards, and socially, it blocks the wheels of society.

When we are faced with tasks that seem impossible, we doubt ourselves and feel that we are not fit to do what we are supposed to do.Aren't we just the people that others think are the most difficult to get along with at this time?We should understand that judging our own pot is not a virtue, but a sin.God has endowed each of us with advantages and disadvantages, and it is fair to everyone.Jealousy is often the culprit that leads to the breakdown of many marriages. This kind of psychology is mostly caused by one party in the marriage who is suspicious.And people who really have the correct self-esteem will not feel hostility towards others. They believe in themselves and are not eager to prove everything to others. They can see the facts more clearly, and when making demands on others, they will be neither humble nor overbearing. crave.Self-doubt is invisible, and it eats away at your self-image the way cancer eats away at your organs.

Our inner "I" is actually the most powerful opponent. Whenever we start to doubt ourselves, we will hear it screaming.It is our enemy, always trying to keep us from our true selves, from people, and from being unhappy.But the magic is that when you have no enemies inside, the enemies outside become less powerful.In fact, your inner self is exaggerating the enemy of reality.The "I" that lives inside of us is actually our inner critic who is good at forgetting pleasure, making us self-repelling, losing our self-esteem and inner judgment.Its influence is far greater than any critic we face in real life.For example, as a shrewd company president, if he wants to develop his career, he must be good at listening to the opinions of others.But in listening to the opinions of others, one should also be careful to judge which opinion will disturb the heart and which opinion will help him.It depends on what facts these opinions are based on.At the same time, listen to your inner voice and use it carefully.When the critic I live in us starts to remind you to underestimate yourself, you should tell yourself firmly, stop!Don't listen to it again!Shut up the critic in a dark corner, he must be punished for doubting yourself. *Soul Prescription*
Don't always force yourself to compare yourself with the standards of idols. This kind of unfair comparison will keep such a mental image in your mind; I am not as capable as others.Celebrating your victories (big or small), acknowledging and cultivating your strengths, and constantly reminding yourself that my flaws are not my fault.

The word "respect" literally means to appreciate things and people of value.Why do people despise themselves when they are in awe of the stars, the moon, the vastness of the ocean, the flowers and the beauty of the sunset?Isn't it the same Creator who created us and them?Isn't man the most amazing creation between heaven and earth?This appreciation of your own worth is not arrogance, unless you think that you created them and that you took part of the credit for creating them.Don't underestimate the value of a product just because you're not using it properly.Don't naively blame a product for no fault of your own, like a student in school accusing a "typewriter can't spell".

But the biggest secret to self-esteem is this: start appreciating others more; show everyone your respect.For nothing else, because they are God's children and therefore worthy beings.When dealing with people, stop and think.You are dealing with the Creator's proudest and most unique individual creation.If you treat people with the value they have in mind, your self-esteem can skyrocket.Because real self-esteem doesn't come from what great things you've done, what you own, what achievements you've made.It comes from an appreciation of who you are as a child of God.When you start to realize this, though, the inevitable conclusion is that all other people should be appreciated for the same reasons.

full of self-confidence
Confidence is built on the basis of past successes.A little bit of confidence is gained when we first achieve a little bit in an area.Because we have not achieved success in this field before, so this confidence will be particularly strong.Doing math problems, singing, giving speeches, or confessing to a crush, etc., all follow this rule.This confidence leads us to success, which means that it forms a cycle, namely: success breeds success.Even small achievements can become stepping stones to greater success.Just like when we start with simple exercises when we study, the successful experience presents a gradual upward trend. We can also use this kind of skills to do anything, achieve a little success at the beginning of things, accumulate self-confidence, and gradually gain greater success.However, each of us has inevitably experienced failures, so another important skill for cultivating self-confidence is to develop a good habit of being good at remembering past successes and forgetting failures.Any electronic device and the human brain follow this mode of operation.When we first play basketball, there are failures -- and I'm sure every NBA player has failures -- and they don't succeed because repetitions are valuable.In other words, if simple repetition of an action contributes to success, then we learn from our mistakes rather than our success.In fact, an excellent basketball player has both failures and successes, but they are good at forgetting the failures and repeating the successes.Computers and our success mechanisms learn to succeed in this way.

But many people fail to do this. They remember their past failures more clearly - even a little bit, and easily forget their successes. Obviously, their self-confidence has been destroyed in this way.They not only remember the failure, but also deeply engrave their emotions in the face of failure.When faced with the same thing, it is more of the frustration and pain caused by the failure of the review, and I fell into deep self-blame before I even tried it.Remember, everyone has failed at some point, but some people succeed because they got out of the box and forgot about their past failures.Yes, it doesn’t matter how many failures you have experienced. The important thing is to remember the successful attempts, not only to remember them, but also to strengthen them, keep them, and remember your joy and confidence in the face of success.The great inventor and industrialist Charles Franklin Codlin said that anyone who wants to be a scientist must be prepared to fail 99 times before succeeding once without hurting his self-esteem.It can be said that if you want to achieve achievements in any field, this one is applicable.By the way, success is not that difficult. 99 failures are just a general term. In most cases, you just need to persevere a little bit.When we see others achieve success, we often don't see or notice the twists and turns and hardships they've endured along the way.When a famous Hollywood actress holds an Oscar in her hand and gives her acceptance speech, we don't remember the failed films she starred in, how critics ridiculed her, and how society rejected her.When a popular author's bestseller is the talk of the airwaves and book sales are booming, we never imagine how many shoeboxes he still has at home, filled with manuscripts rejected by publishers, or piles of torn paper , Those are unsatisfactory drafts and revised drafts.The numerous drafts and rewrites I wrote before writing this book still sit on the bookshelf.In the shadow of nearly every glorious success lies a long train of disappointment, discouragement, and humiliation.How can you expect this not to happen?Successful people don't take this seriously.Therefore, success is not as easy as you imagined, and it is definitely not as difficult as you imagined. In other words, what others can obtain, you can also have.

Use mistakes and mistakes as learning tools; then clear them from your mind.Intentionally remember past successes and mentally picture and reinforce them.Everyone has accomplished something at some point.Especially when starting a new task, evoke the feelings experienced in a past success, no matter how small.

self-acceptance
In the book that was later turned into the hit film The Talented Ripley, the protagonist is a troubled, complex, and low self-esteem young man who is unhappy, unwilling to accept himself, envious of others, and As for killing another person with a richer life, he also wanted to replace him into the other person's life, and even pretended to be the deceased to communicate with his girlfriend and family.Thankfully, there are very few people in the real world who lack self-acceptance to be so brutal and antisocial.But we have to say that art comes from life, and the number of people who lack self-acceptance is still very large.In real life, such people often torture themselves through self-rejection, and even chronic suicide (such as drug abuse, alcoholism, or depression and living in the darkness created by themselves all day long), this kind of people living in "peaceful despair" Too much.

(End of this chapter)