Mind Control and Distraction: Mind Control Techniques for a Lifetime

Chapter 37 The elements and characteristics of a successful personality (3)
If one achieves self-acceptance in the right way, then no success or happiness of any kind is possible—or even if there is some achievement in the eyes of others, they cannot perceive it, or simply ignore it.They are the most miserable and suffering people in the world.Often their inner world is constantly convincing themselves and others: I am not as good as you imagine, and I am actually useless.This process of persuasion is a process of self-torture and self-rejection. When they finally remove the disguise and the reasons return to their true colors, they can truly be relieved, but this is very difficult for them.In fact, they have never realized that when you try your best to be like some idol, success often fades away, but when you unload the burden and return to your original self, happiness and success will follow.The Creator has endowed you with the possibility of success. The original you is the current you, which is the you you have always wanted to be, and the success picture is also the current you.In short, the first step to success is changing your self-image, but changing your self-image does not mean changing yourself.Why is it not being successful now?The root of it is that instead of accepting yourself, you are imagining yourself as some successful idol.To change your self-image, you need to change your mental image, your evaluation and definition of yourself, and your understanding of yourself.After completing this series of changes, success will come naturally-because success at this time is self-realization and self-disclosure.You can't create a new self, you can't change yourself, and forcing yourself to do that will lead you into pain.What you can do is change the way you think about yourself and get a picture of yourself.So as to maximize the release of self-energy.Most of the time, other people know us better, wiser, stronger, and more successful than we know ourselves.So always remember that when you have self-exclusive thoughts, tell yourself, "I am not as bad as I think." Establishing an appropriate self-image does not require you to break through your limitations and acquire higher-level skills, but It allows you to easily release the energy that originally belonged to you.We can form a new habit within a week, and change our attitude towards things within a year, but we cannot change our "self".A habit, an attitude, a personality is a tool, an approach, or an expression of the self, by which we usually face the material world.Habits, attitudes, personalities are the sum of all known skills and they are a form of our connection to the world.In fact, the Creator has endowed each of us with weaknesses and strengths—in other words, what you think of as weaknesses is not necessarily a weakness, and to some extent they can even be converted into strengths.All the characteristics we have are gifts from God, and we must learn to accept and accept the current "I" and the original "I".Self-acceptance not only means that we have to accept wealth and strength, but more importantly, accept all the weaknesses and shortcomings of our own existence.Many people cannot complete self-acceptance because they stubbornly believe that their weaknesses and shortcomings cover up all the bright spots.Knowing that all people make mistakes doesn't mean that all people are demoralized by it.Maybe you have suffered great trials and setbacks, it just means that you have not fully released yourself.Everyone faces their own weaknesses and shortcomings, and wants to overcome them. Before that, they must be recognized.The first step in curing a disease is to understand where the disease occurs; the first step in acquiring knowledge is admitting your ignorance in this area; the first step in becoming powerful is admitting that you are not powerful.Just as we often pray as sinners, but that doesn't make us real sinners.On the road to realizing our ideal life, we must clearly recognize our own weaknesses and deficiencies.This requires us to acknowledge (and accept) that our personalities, our "expressed selves," or what some psychologists call our "real selves," are always imperfect and have room for improvement.

Know that no one ever manages to fully embody the "true self" in one lifetime, or to manifest the full potential of the "real self" in reality.In the "real self", the "embodied self", we can never exhaust all the possibilities and all the power of the "real self".We can always learn more, do better, and perform better. "Real self" must not be perfect.Throughout our lives, it is always moving towards some perfect goal, but never reaches it. "Real self" is not static, but dynamic and active.It is never complete, it never reaches an end, it is always in a state of development.

It is very important to learn to accept this "I" and accept it with all its imperfections, because it is the only means and medium we have.The psychopath rejects and hates the "real self" because it is not perfect.They want to create an illusory, perfected, "realized" ideal self to replace the "real self".When people try to act according to their "false self" in the real world, trying to maintain a fake and fake is not only a terrible mental stress, but also leads to constant disappointment and frustration.

Accept who you are now, who you really are, and use that as a starting point.Learn to live with your own shortcomings from the bottom of your heart.Intellectually acknowledging inadequacies is necessary, but self-criticism or self-denial because of inadequacies is a disaster.Separate your ego from your actions.You don't think you're worthless or good for nothing because you made a mistake or strayed off track, any more than a computer should be thrown away because it made a mistake or a piano should be thrown away because it played a bad note .Don't hate yourself because you're not perfect, because you have a lot of other equally imperfect companions.No one is perfect, and those who try to pretend to be who they really are end up in a quagmire of pain.

The effects of self-exclusion

Many of us would feel overwhelmed if faced with rejection from the outside world.For example, a salesman has to face many rejections and denials during his work.So we see that those salesmen who are downcast and feel that everything is not going well are often young people who have just stepped into this field-for them, the rejection from the outside world is much more than imagined.Not only salesmen, but also actors, singers, writers, speakers, athletes, etc. have to face criticism or negation from the public and the media. They may not be able to accept the huge pressure and give up or fail.However, self-exclusion has a much greater impact than criticism and rejection from the outside world.Every era and environment imposes different standards on people, and there are many ways in which people usually self-exclude and deny themselves.If women reject themselves, it is mostly because they do not meet the measurements and standards that are currently popular for body measurements. In the 20s, many women felt ashamed of themselves because of their large breasts.Masculine body shapes are all the rage, and full boobs are something of a secret.After that, the direction of the trend began to reverse, and many young girls today suffer from the fact that they don't have round 20-inch breasts.In the 40s, women used to go to plastic surgery clinics and say, "Please reduce the size of my breasts so I can look like so-and-so." By the 20s, the plea had become "Please reduce my breast size." increase in size to make me look like so-and-so".There are too many situations where "so-and-so" is used as a role model or benchmark, but they don't realize that when they aspire to be exactly the same as so-and-so in a certain aspect or to do better than so-and-so , is actually making a mistake.The consequences of this mistake are very serious.To put it simply, it is overkill. Many girls who pursue a slim figure force themselves to eat less or not eat at all, which hurts their bodies and even dies of anorexia.The talented singer Karen Carpenter is a typical example.

Apparently this is just one of countless tragedies caused by self-exclusion.People often use others as benchmarks, compare themselves and enjoy it.This is how self-exclusion and self-deprecation come about.They like to compete secretly and don't want to lose to a colleague, friend or neighbor.Some people even think that their chin is too pointed, too fat, their skin is not good, their teeth are sparse, etc., so they conclude that they are "worthless" and completely deny themselves.But we should not self-exclude, we should try hard to accept ourselves, even though we may not be as good as others in some aspects.Self-acceptance means acknowledging oneself as a comprehensive and unique being.There are powerful strengths that cannot be compared with others, but also weaknesses that cannot surpass others, knowledgeable and ignorant, beautiful and some small shortcomings that are not worth mentioning-in fact, everyone in this world is like this.Maybe you're sullen and self-repelling now because you're not as small as Emma's waistline, but you don't know that Emma next door is also envious of your beautiful blonde hair... There are too many cases of this, when everyone takes off their coats and reveals Soul, you will find that they have encountered no less setbacks and hardships than you, and no one is enough reason for you to attack and reject yourself.Each of us is unique, and there is a good side and a bad side to everything, and so does each of us.So each of us should know our own uniqueness, and strive for self-acceptance through our own unique way, even if it is only a little bit, it will bring great joy and achievement to your life, and you will not leave regrets .

Self-improvement requires accepting yourself through self-directed, sound ways.Accepting yourself means being completely yourself, that you are unique, that you are special, that you are you.If you don't realize this, but feel ashamed of yourself, reject yourself, reject yourself, hate yourself, and even compare yourself with those illusory idols, then it will not be your greatest wealth. The most loyal ally also cannot obtain great potential and power from it.

The meaning of adverse quotient

For many years, IQ has been the focus of discussion in academic and intellectual circles.In fact its function is to predetermine how far a person can go on the road of life.But what we want to say now is that the key factor in judging whether a person will be successful in the future is not IQ, but the state of self-image.Taking a step back, IQ can still be improved after adulthood.That is to say, its role is not decisive.

Since 1967, a management consultant named Dr. Paul Stoltz has been studying how people respond to adversity.It is part of the self, or embodies the formation of a self-image, which can be measured scientifically.The way people respond to adversity, that is, the ability to face setbacks, get out of trouble, and overcome difficulties, is the inverse injury.Dr. Stoltz said that as people face more and more difficulties when entering society, it is very important to have high trauma.He conducts surveys to determine how many negative events people face every day.These incidents include flight delays, embarrassment in public places, an old customer suddenly tearing up the contract and no longer cooperating, etc.The number of these negative events is increasing year by year.Through research, Dr. Stoltz said that people with high AQ often have three characteristics:

1. They do not place the blame on others for adversity or setbacks.

2. They don't blame themselves: They don't see setbacks as a sign of their own incompetence.

3. They believe that the problems they face are limited in magnitude and duration and that they can be dealt with.

Just now we said that the key to success is injury rather than IQ.We analyze the above three characteristics from the perspective of success. It can be said that the successful character is the switch to operate the automatic success mechanism.Do you want to improve your Adverse Quotient?I guess the answer for most people is yes.Now many schools and companies have set up this course to provide professional training skills to improve adversity business, to help children and employees succeed more effectively.One of the important contents is to lighten the burden for those who think that they have low adversity quotient.Such people tend to be emotionally helpless, self-critical, feel that things cannot be resolved, and are prone to self-blame and guilt.From another perspective, this method is actually to strengthen self-image.The process of releasing stress and reducing burden is actually the process of strengthening self-image, but this course starts from another angle, that is, not "strengthening", but "releasing" first, and the effect is also very obvious.This approach is also applicable when viewed from a spiritual perspective.When some people face some things—even if it is just a little thing—he feels that he is too difficult in reality, the problem cannot be solved; he is too stupid and feels helpless at the same time.Feeling ashamed of a little mistake, blaming yourself for incompetence, and blaming circumstances, other people, or God for all difficulties.But there are some people who, when faced with more difficult predicaments, strictly abide by the above three high adversity quotient standards.They are willing to actively think about where the real problems are, learn new knowledge and experience to arm themselves, try their best to change the real dilemma, and consciously stick to practical activities instead of giving up lightly.For example, according to my observation, Elizabeth Taylor has a high adversity quotient.Elizabeth Taylor had several brushes with death and had multiple medical procedures, including hip replacement surgery.She went to the Betty Ford Clinic twice to kick the habit before stabilizing her recovery.Yet she confidently and consistently strives to maintain her beauty, grace and sense of humor.She persevered in entertainment (making TV until 2000), business (doing business with a successful perfume company), and charity work (founding the first large-scale fundraising fund for AIDS research Will) has been very active.Elizabeth Taylor was the first actor in history to reach a million-dollar salary, once became the queen of Hollywood, and won two Academy Awards.

Lighten the burden and release the successful personality

When I was young, I was faced with things such as sluggish career and lovelorn. I frowned and sighed in frustration every day. I still remember seeing a fable in a book. It was very interesting. It revealed some skills to release a successful personality. It is like this: It is said that once upon a time there was an exhausted traveler who was walking on a dusty road with a big stone on his shoulders, a backpack full of bricks on his back, a big pumpkin dangling on his head, and a big pumpkin on his waist. A bale of hay and vines were still tangled up on the ground, so that they could only stagger forward with small steps.As you can imagine, this person is like a horse laden with goods, walking unsteadily, bending down uncomfortably, moving forward slowly and heavily, with great physical exertion.

A man sitting on the side of the road greeted him and asked, "Hey, man, why don't you take that big, heavy rock off your shoulders and lighten your load?"
Walker replied incredulously: "Well. You know, I didn't even notice how heavy it was until you mentioned it. I didn't really think about why I carried it in the past." After a while, the traveler put down the big stone, threw it to the side of the road, and continued walking.At this time, his waist straightened a little, and his walking speed became faster.

After walking some distance, he met another bystander.The person questioned his backpack full of bricks. "Hmm. I'm glad you mentioned it," said Walker, "I really didn't pay much attention to what was in the backpack." He took out all the bricks, put them on the side of the road, and continued on his way.

After walking for a while, a curious child who was playing by the side of the road stopped him. "Hey sir, why do you have so much hay strapped around your waist?"
Walker took out the knife in his pocket and cut the hay.

One bystander after another prompts the practitioner to realize his needless burden.After that, one by one, he accepted new understandings, discarded the burdens that had fettered him for a long time, and threw them to the side of the road one by one.In the end, he truly became a free man, his upright posture and walking speed were no different from normal people.

Was his problem rock, brick, or hay?No, neither.There was only one problem, and that was his lack of awareness of them.

(End of this chapter)