How can I chat?

Chapter 15 If All Else Are In vain, Remember Scribe

If all else fails, remember that there is Scribe[1]
Rules of improvisational drama: If all else fails, talk about history, philosophy, or use metaphor.

The most powerful techniques that can be borrowed from improvisational drama are the use of history, philosophy, and metaphor.

When chatting, it is inevitable to encounter silence, which makes the conversation almost out of control.These situations can lead the conversation down a dead end, leading to a bad end.All your energy and vitality may even evaporate almost instantly as a result.

That's why you need to consider the fine print of Scribes.

Scribes are like a mental template that can turn a conversation around, and you can use it in all sorts of situations, good and bad.It works on any subject, anytime...and the best part is, it doesn't require you or the other person to be smart or creative.Anyone can do it, because everyone has what it requires: perspective and personal memory.

Scribes can be used to change the subject, which is a shortcut to make the chat more interesting.It can rejuvenate the conversation to start another topic.Proper use of Scribes will save the chat from crashing, ruining, or falling into a war of attrition.With timely use of Scribe elements, you can constantly find new directions for dialogue, and you can chat with each other for hours.

If you want to chat with others better, more personal, more dynamic, then remember to use SZZBE.

what is scribe

Scribe refers to history, philosophy, and metaphor.

In any conversation, these angles can be used to add new topics and breathe life into the chat.You can cut in historically, philosophically, or metaphorically, based on whatever the other person has said.

With these tips, you can quickly start a chat and warm up to someone.The premise is just to cut in from the right angle at the right time.

The great thing about Scribe is that each of its components is a pervasive, incredibly tried-and-true chat foundation.Everyone has their own scribes on almost every subject, and your scribes will stimulate others to talk about theirs.

history
The historical perspective is all about relating what the other person said to what happened to you from a personal perspective, that is, your personal experience.

For example, if the other person is talking about losing his sunglasses after a rollercoaster ride, how do you relate to yourself?

"I hate roller coasters so much now that I lost my $250 sunglasses the last time I went!" he said.

Here, you have three themes to choose from and respond to in relation to your personal experiences—sunglasses, roller coasters, and lost things.

So, you can answer by invoking your personal experience like this: "Yeah. I remember the last time I got off the roller coaster, I almost threw up. It was so intense!"

Or, "This reminds me of the last time I was in Bali, when a monkey stole my sunglasses. Looks like we need to put some straps on our sunglasses."

Or: "Too bad I lost my favorite hat last week too. Now the sun is our enemy."

A historical perspective draws its energy from the personal experiences it touches.When someone uses this technique, you can't help but open up to him and feel closer to him.Your experiences will resonate with them on a deeper, more personal level; you have something in common!
This reminds them of something that happened to them in the past related to what you just said.In other words, the historical perspective requires the other party to have a certain degree of openness to you.

A word of caution: use this method with caution, as you don't want to diminish the importance of the other person's story to them.When someone tells you about the loss of a dearly cherished pet or family member, the story you tell should not make what they lost less important.

For example, someone talks about losing his pet dog of 18 years and you compare that to losing your favorite Michael Jordan shoes.The two are not even comparable, and personal experience like yours is not appropriate here.

When using historical perspective, be mindful of emotional equivalence and resonance.If the other person feels deeply about something, make sure your experience is similar.Their impact must be similar, otherwise it will backfire.

Here is another example of how to respond to someone with a personal experience:

"I love watching football. It's definitely my favorite sport to watch!"

"Yeah, I played football a lot when I was younger and I broke my leg, but I also love watching football."

哲学
Philosophy here does not mean abstract assertions such as the meaning of life.

It refers to your three views.Philosophical expression of how you feel about things, whether good or bad.The stronger your feelings, the richer the resulting chat.

We can use the previous example again - someone lost his sunglasses after riding a roller coaster.

A philosophical response could be something like: "Oh my god. The small chance of losing something and possibly dying on a roller coaster is why I hate this stuff. Let my adrenaline go elsewhere !"

Or: "So I'm a firm believer that sunglasses should be a bargain, as long as they work."

Or: "I'm terrified of roller coasters. I'm amazed how anyone would dare to ride them."

Responses from a philosophical perspective, whether strengthening the other party's point of view or raising objections, intensify attention to the other party.

The ideas and perspectives expressed by one party resonate sufficiently with the other.This creates intimacy and makes it easy for the other person to be attracted to you and let go of their defenses.

Responding to the other person with your own perspective is a deeply personal perspective.As a result, an unusually intimate connection can be established between you.

However, if you seem too emotional about everything, it can backfire and can undercut such responses.

If you respond highly emotionally to every topic the other person has, you devalue your emotional response.You seem emotional about everything and look like a fool.Instead, the other person will feel that they are being used and manipulated, rather than feeling that they are special and valued.

metaphor
When you throw out a metaphor, you're showing the other person that you're both emotionally and intellectually invested.

Because, analogy means that you have thought about what they said and connected it to the hot events in your life.Linking seemingly unrelated elements together, as a metaphor should, can also make you appear clever and witty.

Metaphors don't have to be clever or meaningful.As long as it sounds interesting - if there is indeed a connection, people will draw their own conclusions.

Again, using the example of someone losing their sunglasses after riding a roller coaster, you could answer something like this: "Roller coasters are like a charity, and I've donated so much. Because I drop something every time I ride!"

Or: "Throwing things is as annoying as a pebble in the sole of a shoe."

Or: "Sunglasses are really my savior, without them I'm the one who loses."

This will make the other person feel that you have thought deeply and resonated with what they have to say, which is why you found these connections.

Of course, if it's an improvisational play, the whole point of these methods is to make the audience laugh.

When chatting privately, you throw out a very deep and weighty metaphor, which will make the other party and you become closer in a personal relationship.

They feel that you appreciate their ideas, which is why they use their words as metaphors.

Metaphors, like philosophical ones, can be counterproductive if overused.If the connection between the two is superficial or if it seems to belittle the other's experience, it will reduce the value of the metaphor.

When you use the Scribes correctly, you can never finish talking, never finish.

But you don't have to use this method as a last resort.Scribe works because it's universal—everyone has something to think about everyday life, and a story to share.

Scribes are an easy-to-use technique for sharing topics that allow conversations to expand and deepen with ease.

practise:

This is best practiced via text or instant messaging, and see transcripts of recent exchanges in the chat history.

List 5 major or minor themes.You can even just write down the few sentences you want to respond to.

Now let's practice scribes.For each topic or sentence, come up with 4 stories of your own, 4 ways to express how you feel, and 3 metaphors to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topics.

It's going to be hard at first, but deep friendships aren't formed by talking about something as insignificant as the weather, but by shared values, beliefs and perceptions - and Scribe hits the nail on the head, all at once question.

Notes:

[1] That is, history, philosophy, and metaphor.

(End of this chapter)