american tragedy

Chapter 56

Chapter 222
How wonderful this new, closer relationship, these vows, these scruples finally overcome! Ah! For days they both resisted the desire for further intercourse.They both longed for the night, as if madly, but also fearfully.On Roberta's side, she felt guilty and resisted repeatedly; Clyde was very determined, but not without the slightest feeling of evil... seduction... fornication.But once the die is done, a maddening, quivering joy animates them.Before this, however, Roberta was not without assurance that whatever might happen in the future (and the natural consequences of such a passionate relationship, which she had always thought of) he would never desert her, Because without his support, she would be helpless.After he was completely conquered by desire, he said without thinking that he would never abandon her.She reassured her about this, although even at this moment marriage was not on his mind.Though during the day Roberta murmured, or blamed herself, at night they both gave their all to each other.Afterwards, I still think about the joy in the middle, and in these days, I always hope that the long days will pass quickly, and the crazy night that swallows everything and makes up for everything will come soon.

In Clyde's case, he was no different from Roberta.It was a mortal and unforgivable sin, which he affirmed painfully, for that was what his mother and father had always told him, seduction, fornication, extravagance outside the sacred bond of marriage.On the other hand, Roberta fearfully speculates about the bleak future, and is very worried about what will happen if Clyde changes his mind and abandons her. However, when night comes, her heart turns in another direction.She and he hurried to meet somewhere, and then, in the dead of night, sneaked into this unlit room and turned it into a paradise they would never regain.The frenzy of youth is so ardent that it is gone forever!

Clyde, with all his doubts and fears gratified by Roberta's sudden surrender to him, sometimes felt for the first time that, in these feverish days, at last he had become a An experienced person, a person who really understands women.He put on a look, as if to say, "Look, I'm no longer the inexperienced, looked down upon idiot I was a few weeks ago. Now I'm an interesting person, a person who knows what life is like." .those smug young men, and all the rambunctious, flirtatious coquettish girls around me, what do I not? Is there anything I can't do?" By Hortense Bree Gus got him thinking that, as for the recent failure with Rita, let's not talk about it, he always failed or had bad luck with girls.Now this incident can show that this idea is completely wrong.Despite repeated failures and setbacks in the past, in the final analysis, he is still a young man like Don Juan's Losario.

And if Roberta was open and willing to sacrifice herself for him, surely there would be others who would.

Notwithstanding the recent indifference of the Griffiths to him, that alone made him walk with more dignity than he had ever done before.Even though none of them or those connected with them would acknowledge his position, yet he examined himself in the mirror now and then with a confidence and self-absorption he had never felt before.Roberta, feeling now that her personal future really depended entirely on his will and capriciousness, flattered him constantly, made him as courteous as possible, and made him convenient.In fact, she really did, in accordance with her conception of the right laws of life, that she was now his and his only, as a wife is to her husband, and she would be what he wanted.

Thus Clyde forgot for a moment his slight here, and devoted himself to her contentedly, with little thought of the future.The only thing that did bother him at times was the concerns she raised with him.On this point, he was afraid that something might go wrong.Because now that she was completely his, it would be very embarrassing if something went wrong.But he didn't think too much about it.Roberta was his now, and it seemed to them both that the relationship was, so to speak, a secret.This kind of happiness in the honeymoon of a nobleman marrying a poor girl is at its climax.For the rest of November the weather is fine, often sunny and warm.And the first few days of December, but it's all gone, ah! It's like a dream, but it's all gone, ah, in this monotonous, mediocre, low-status, low-paying, hard-working world In the world, this seems to be a fascinating paradise.

Besides, the Griffiths had been out of the city since the middle of June.Since their departure Clyde had been thinking of them and of his relationship to the city.Their big house was closed and silent.Sometimes when I pass by, I just happen to see a gardener or a driver.For him, the big house was still a sacred temple, a symbol of high status, and if he was lucky in the future, he might climb that high too.There is always one thought in his mind: his future must be connected with the Su family.

Regarding the dynamics of the Griffiths family and their group of social aristocrats in the suburbs of Lycurgos, he could only see some from the social columns of two local newspapers.These two newspapers always describe the activities of some important people in the city in a flattering tone.When he read these records, he often had various images in his mind: Gilbert Griffiths was speeding in his big car; Dance together, go boating under the moon, play tennis, ride horses and more.Even when he and Roberta were in some tryst, he would think so.The incident stung him almost unbearably, and at times enlightened him to see clearly his relation to Roberta.In the final analysis, she was just a female worker in the factory, a woman who lived and worked on the farm.But what about him, as long as he is lucky, all his dreams about the noble life here may come true?

Sometimes when he was in a bad mood, especially after she committed herself to him, that was what he thought.Her identity is really different from his.Whatever he might think after reading such news in the Star, he would go back to Roberta, the forces that had drawn him to her were still there, and he still thought her very lovely, Valuable and desirable, I think she has all the qualities and charms of a beautiful woman.

However, the Griffiths and their friends are back in the city, and Lycurgus is once again active in business and social affairs.This is the case for at least seven months of the year.So, he was fascinated by the atmosphere again, and even more fascinated.What a beautiful house there were on Wickie Avenue and the adjoining streets, and what a lively atmosphere there was! Oh, if only he were a part of it!

(End of this chapter)