american tragedy

Chapter 75 (2)
Chapter 235 (2)
But the new medicine still didn't work, although Roberta deliberately went to work in this emergency in order to make her body weaker.Later, all the girls in this department told her that she must be very ill, otherwise her face would not be so ugly, and she obviously felt unwell, so she shouldn't have come to work.But this still has no effect.Moreover, Clyde actually believed what the people in the grocery store said, thinking that it would be okay not to come for a month, which made her even more annoyed and frightened.

The truth is: in this crisis, he was but an amusing example of how dangerous stupidity, youth, poverty, and fear can be.He had no idea what the word "midwife" meant or what sort of thing she was doing (there were three midwives in the Lycurgus expat quarter at this time).Besides, he hadn't been in Lycurgus for long, and apart from a few young people on the social scene, Dillard, who had cut off contact with him, and a few department directors in the factory, he had no one. know.There remained a hairdresser, a dress grocer, a cigarette shop owner, and others who he had known in general, most of whom, he thought, were either very boring or had nothing to do with him. There is nothing to steal about this thing.

However, before he made up his mind to find a doctor, there was one thing that made him hesitate, that is, who should look for it and how to look for it.Asking him to find it himself is out of consideration.First, he looked too much like Gilbert Griffiths, and he was so famous here that he might be mistaken for him.Second, he was so well dressed that the doctor might charge more than he could afford, and might ask embarrassing questions.If anyone else could explain the details before Roberta went, oh, why not let Roberta go by herself? Why not? She always looked so honest, innocent, Sincere, and enough to touch other people's hearts, and in such a depressed and depressing situation, um...Therefore, he argued to himself in his own mind, it was her, not him, that was in the last analysis the crisis that had to be solved at once.

He thought again, wouldn't it be cheaper for her to go? She is in a trance now, as long as he can persuade her to say what kind of young man abandoned her; as for the name, she naturally refuses. Then, no matter which doctor sees her so alone and in such a mess, no one will take care of her, she will not refuse her.Maybe they will do their best to help her, but who can say for sure? Then he will be fine.

He went to Roberta, in order to pre-empt her to make such a request, assuming he could find a doctor for him, and she would have to explain everything in his situation.But before he opened his mouth, she immediately asked him what methods he had found out, or what he had done.Is there any other medicine to buy? This gave him a chance to look forward to, and he explained: "Ah, I asked around, and I also looked at some grocery stores. People told me that this If it doesn't work, there's nothing else. It leaves me with nothing to do, unless you're willing to go to a doctor. The trouble is, it's hard to find a doctor who will do anything and keep a secret. Me and Talked to a few people (of course didn't say who) but it's really hard to find such a person here, because they are all too timid. It's illegal, you know. But, I want to know one thing now If I find a doctor willing to do this, do you have the courage to go to see him and tell him the situation, I want to find out."

She looked at him dazedly, not understanding that he was hinting to her that she should go alone, thinking that it was certain that he would go with her.Uneasy at the thought of having to go to the doctor with him, he exclaimed first: "Oh, my dear, isn't it frightening to think that we have to go to the doctor? Then we He'll know all about it, won't he? And, while it doesn't look like I'd be any worse than these goddamn pills, it's still dangerous, isn't it?" Then she inquired He asked some detailed questions, such as what else he did, what happened and what happened, but Clyde couldn't tell the reason.

"Oh, don't worry too much about it," he said, "you'll be overwhelmed, I know that. Besides, we'll be lucky if we can find a doctor who'll do it. I want to find out What's more, if I find a doctor, would you like to see him alone?" She was taken aback, but he still didn't feel sorry for him and continued, "Since my situation here is like this. I wouldn't be able to go with you, that's for sure. Too many people know me here, and I'm too much like Gilbert, and he knows everybody. If anyone takes me as Him, or as his cousin or relative or something, alas, that would be bad." His eyes at this time not only showed how afraid he was that his mask would be exposed in front of the Lycurgus people, but also It also explained what a dirty and dirty role he was trying to play in this incident, taking advantage of her embarrassment and hiding behind himself.

He was terribly frightened now, afraid that the plan would be revealed, and he would be in trouble, so he no longer cared what Roberta thought, but he was determined to stick to this idea.Roberta, now noticing only that he wanted her to go alone, cried out in disbelief: "I'm not going alone, Clyde! No, I can't do it. Oh dear, no! Oh dear!" , would scare me to death. Ah, dear, no. Ah, I would be terrified. Think about it, let me explain to people by myself, what will become of me then. This I really can't do it. Besides, I don't know what to say? How to open my mouth? In short, you must go with me for the first time. There is no other way, you have to explain to others. Otherwise, how can I I won’t go, and as for the future, I don’t care about it.” Her eyes were wide open and she was very nervous; her face originally expressed the recent fear and depression, but now due to the strong and resolute opposition, even her face His face also changed.

But Clyde was unwavering.

"You know how I am here, Roberta. I can't go, that's all, ah, what if someone sees me, what if someone recognizes me? What then? I've been everywhere since I've been here, you know that. Ah, you're a fool to think I can go. Besides, it's much easier for you to go alone than for me. You alone Go, then no doctor will take it as an earth-shattering event, nor will it be a great business, people will just think you are unlucky, and there is no one who can help you. But if I go Well, if people knew anything about the Griffiths, it would be a hell of a lot for the medical bills. People would think I had a lot of money. If I didn't listen to them afterward, they'd go to my uncle or my cousin. Brother, then I'm sorry, goodbye! Then I will be finished. And if I lose my position here, and I have no money, and my relationship with you is spread again, then think about it, so First, what should I do? At that time, I will naturally not have the strength to take care of you anymore. Then what should you do? I believe that you will wake up and see this difficult situation clearly. Once my name is involved Go in, and we're both doomed. So my name must not be involved, that's what it is, and the only way I can get out of it is if I don't accompany you to your doctor's meeting. Besides, they'll treat you better. Have more sympathy for me. You can't say my name anyway!"

His gaze was painful and determined, and Roberta read in his expression a certain ruthlessness, even a certain stubbornness, which was evident in every gesture of his.This is the result of his fear.Say what you will, but he is determined to protect his name.On this point, too, she has so far had to acquiesce.So even at this juncture, it still holds a heavy weight in her heart.

"Oh, dear! dear!" she exclaimed in confusion and mournfulness.She began to see the situation getting dire. "I really can't think of what we should do, I really can't think of it. Because I really can't do it, everything is so terrible, so heartless, I will never go alone, I will feel too embarrassed, too scary. "

But even as she said this, she also began to think that if it had to be done, she would have to go alone, and would even like to go alone.Because, what else is there to do? Since he is so afraid and in such great danger, how can she force him to destroy his position here? Follow, instead of For his own protection rather than for other purposes, he added: "I don't know how to pay for it unless it's not a lot of money, Roberta. I really don't know how. You You know, my salary is not very high, only 25 dollars in total so far (the situation forced him to tell the truth to Roberta). And I have no savings, no penny, as to how this happened , You understand this as well as I do. Most of the money is spent by the two of us. And if I go, they will think that I am rich, and the asking price will be far beyond my ability to pay. If you go, tell them the actual situation, And explain that you have no money, if you say I ran away, or something else, then..."

He hesitated for a moment, for as he said this, he saw a flash of shame, contempt, and despair at his meanness and sordidness on Roberta's face.Even though he was so cunning and deceiving her so deliberately.She still felt that there was some truth in his rhetoric.Perhaps he used her as a shield, a mask, behind which he hid the truth, and he was indeed ashamed, but these terrible facts were facts.In the end, the situation is too strong to resist! She heard him say: "You don't have to tell your real name, you know, and you don't have to tell me where you are from. I don't want to, just look around here. A doctor, see? As long as you tell people you're not rich, it's just a weekly wage..."

She sat down weakly, thinking.At this time, he was still eloquently describing the convincing ruse, and most of what he said had already penetrated into her heart.For, hypocritical and immoral as the whole scheme was, she had to admit that she and Clyde were in such a predicament.Although she usually tells the truth and is honest to the point of honesty and conscientiousness, once she is involved in this kind of storm, those nautical charts and compass needles that are usually composed of moral standards will not be able to stand up for the time being. It didn't work in the slightest.

So in the end he insisted on going to the doctor at some distant place, say, Mathiga or Albany, but on this condition she promised him that she would go, and the conversation was over.He felt triumphant at being able to keep himself out of it, and now he thought only of doing everything he could to find a doctor at once so that she could be sent, so that a dreadful trouble might be put to rest.After that, she can go her own way, and she must go her own way. Since he has done his best for her, as long as things are settled, he can also go his own way. The bright future that has been laid before him is gone.

(End of this chapter)