Don't laugh, I'm a zero score composition in the college entrance examination

Chapter 31 Sichuan Volume: There is always an expectation (4)
Comments: Whether it is a good thing has nothing to do with you or me.

Old Spring's Hint

Why do these two people have to engrave such words on the ring?You know, the ring is so small, it is not easy to engrave so many words on such a small object.Moreover, we all engrave our own or our lover's name on the ring, why would they engrave such two nonsensical words?

After research, it turns out that these two rings and these two sentences imply a huge treasure that shakes the world and weeps ghosts and gods.Do you know where the map to the Fountain of Youth that Captain Jack holds in "Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stormy Tides" comes from?Let me tell you:

That map is derived from these two rings and these two inscriptions. "Everything will pass" means that everything in the world will age; "Nothing will pass" means that everything about you will never age—isn't this alluding to the "fountain of youth"?Oh haha, I'm too smart, King of Judah and Chekhov, don't hate my IQ!
Comments: When you are fooling others, you have already been fooled.

God horses are all clouds, god horses are not clouds

The logic of this question is really problematic! ! !

Everything will pass, God horses are clouds! ! !

Everything will not pass, and the horse is not a floating cloud! ! !

It's floating clouds and not floating clouds, have you made a mistake? ! !

Such a topic is cheating! ! !

Labor and management are overthinking it! ! !

Nima! ! ! !
Did David and Chekhov's wife have an affair! ! !

There is wood, there is wood, there is wood! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Or David said that everything will pass, and Chekhov said that everything will not pass? ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Nima! ! ! !
Comments: You just graduated from the School of Psychiatry, right?
The real insider with a soft spot

(In-depth report by our reporter Wang Erxiao) Replay of the first incident: Yuan Sumei, a school worker at the University of Hong Kong, never went to university, didn't know what an "academician" is, and didn't do any earth-shattering events. She just worked hard for 44 years Cooking and sweeping the floor for the students deeply touched the students.The students said: "She is just like our mother." In September 2009, the University of Hong Kong awarded her an "Honorary Academician", saying that she "affected the lives of the students of the university with her own life" and was "the treasure of the University of Hong Kong".

The author interviewed a number of people involved in this incident. Among them, Yuan Sumei said that she has no education, and it is already very good to find a job in a university. I haven't moved for 44 years because I want to be safe and able to support my family, and it has nothing to do with my special liking.Nobody wants to do this, and neither do I, it's just that I don't have a choice.It would be an obvious lie to say that I love this job.If I could retire like a professor with a good salary, I would choose to retire too, it's really tiring.

Replay of the second event: Zhao Shishu, a rural teacher in Wuxi County, has been alone on the podium for 20 years and supported by his body for 13 years. He ignited the torch of knowledge in the depths of the mountains, illuminating the longing eyes of generations in the small village.In 33 years, he extended his love and settled it into a fertile soil for the spirit, allowing hope to germinate in the spring.He was named one of the top ten "moving Chongqing" figures in 2010 because of his "brilliant teacher's soul".

According to the author's investigation, Mr. Zhao is indeed not simple.But the fact is not that Mr. Zhao is willing to stand alone on the podium for 20 years, but that he has no choice but to persevere as he is already disabled.Farming has no physical strength, and there is no way to be an official.

Persistence is sometimes very simple, it is for survival, and has nothing to do with greatness.We believe in the simple truth, and are unwilling to believe in the hypocrisy that has been overstated.

Comments: You know more than Google!Beware of being exiled.

Using a mirror to soak up younger sister techniques

My mother said to me: "Son, do you know? Now Chinese men are far larger than women, it seems that there are more than 5000 million people. Do you know the concept of 5000 million people? Son, I don't think we can be like others, we have to Looking at this issue from a far-sighted perspective, I think it will become more and more difficult to find a wife in the future. You are now 17 years old, and in about 8 years, you should marry a wife. At that time, it will be really difficult for ordinary men to find a wife, I think You should start looking for it now, and try to get married in your 20s. Of course, it is useless to try to get into a good university. If you don’t go to a good university, it’s better to marry a good wife as soon as possible. Our life goal should be to marry a good wife first, and then get into a good university.” I think my mother is really different, everyone else, they all want their own children Study hard, go to a good university to find a good job, go to a civil servant and find a good unit that can accept bribes. My mother is good, let me find a girlfriend and marry a wife earlier.I am a filial person, so I had no choice but to listen to my mother and start puppy love.Teacher, don't think that my thinking is not pure or anything, I was forced to help.

Comments: Your mother is so strong!
Time is passing

Time goes by, time flies, and the college entrance examination is about to take place in a blink of an eye, and yesterday seems to be right in front of us.On June 278, 6 BC, Qu Yuan committed suicide because he knew that he would take the college entrance examination tomorrow.

On June 1799, 6, the Russian poet Pushkin was born, because he knew that he would take the college entrance examination tomorrow.

June 1875, 6 German writer Thomas?Man's birthday, because he knew that the college entrance examination would be tomorrow.

Yuan Shikai died of illness on June 1916, 6, because he knew that the college entrance examination would be tomorrow.

Normandy landed on June 1944, 6, because they knew that the college entrance examination would be tomorrow.

June 1961, 6 Psychiatry pioneer Karl?Gistaff?Jung died because he knew that the college entrance examination would be tomorrow.

June 1976, 6 Oil magnate Paul?Getty died because he knew that the college entrance examination would be tomorrow.

On June 1982, 6, Israel launched a full-scale invasion of Lebanon, because they knew that the college entrance examination would be held tomorrow, and the fifth Middle East war broke out.

On June 2011, 6, all the hard-working children in Anhui Province were preparing for tomorrow's college entrance examination. Time is passing, and the college entrance examination is continuing. Who died because of the college entrance examination yesterday?Who made the decision yesterday, all this, let the passing time tell you the answer.

Comments: Classmate, are you a time machine?

"Time is passing"

Time is ticking - as I write these words, time ticks forward a bit.

Time is ticking - as I write these words again, time ticks forward a bit.

Time is ticking - as I write these words for the third time, time ticks forward a bit.

……

Time is passing - when I wrote these words No. 40 times, I just finished writing this composition.

Comments: It's useless to finish writing. Looking at the composition you wrote, it's better to hand in a blank paper.

Time is passing

Sitting at the site of the 2011 Chinese exam for the college entrance examination, thinking about this moment, I have worked hard every day for half a year, and my academic level has improved by leaps and bounds; for this moment, my dad meticulously prepares high-end dishes every day, and fills up my HP and various nutritional potions BUFF for me throughout the whole process; For this moment, my mother burns incense and worships Buddha every day, and now the spiritual BUFF has also broken through the sky.Half a year of hard work will be witnessed in these two and a half hours!Looking at the examination paper on the table, holding the high-end 5B pencil that my mother bought for me for 2 cents, is there anything!Suddenly, I felt that my soul was possessed, and my fighting power was beyond the table. The passion of fighting the hunting blade half a year ago came back. I waved the 2B pencil in my hand, and a "thrilling" battle kicked off!
Comments: Beware of losing your mind.

Time is passing - Tang Xiaohu's tragic autobiographical history book
Time is passing.More than ten years and 20 years have passed.As time goes by, I, Tang Xiaohu.Gloriously became the third party of high school, and sat gloriously in the spacious and bright examination room to take the exam of the world's greatest general.

I am very happy.

But, after a while, I couldn't laugh anymore-because I saw the composition topic!
Time is passing, I think of my tragic past, scenes, like yesterday, like the present, alive, shattered my fragile heart like fog, wind and rain.

Comments: Your heart is really strange.

Time is passing

One month, two months, three months, four months, five months, six months, seven months, eight months, nine months, I was born.

Maybe people at that time didn't know that there was one more high school student in the world.

One year, two years, three years, four years, five years, six years, seven years, eight years, nine years, ten years, 11 years, 12 years, a whole reincarnation, I am in my third year of high school.

The ancients were behind bars for ten years, but we are behind bars for 12 years.

One hour, two hours, my first Chinese college entrance examination is over.

Maybe people don't know my score, but I know that another zero-point composition will be born.

One day, two days, my 12 years behind bars came to an end, and at this moment the sunshine in June was very dazzling.

Maybe no one needs to know where a teenager's road is, but I know that there is a toll no matter what road.

One hour, two hours, three hours, four hours, five hours, six hours, seven hours, eight hours, where will my first job be?
One day, I will hold my beloved alarm clock and count down the countdown of life together: ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

At that moment, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Comments: Unique charm.

Time is passing

Time is passing, the world has changed, a lot has changed.

A few years ago, the parents were madly reading "Harvard Girl Liu Yiting", and we secretly followed Han Han.

A few years later, the Harvard girl got a US green card and married an American businessman.Han Han became an opinion leader, and by the way, became a dad who can race cars.

A few years ago, housing prices were not so unattainable, crossing the road was not so dangerous, there were not so many creative ideas about poisonous food, seeing a doctor was not so expensive, and jobs were not so hard to find. Lanzhou noodles with four pieces of beef.

Comments: Heroes don't mention their bravery!
this world needs you
I was a good boy since I was a child. I wore five bars in elementary school. I started watching "News Network" when I was two or three years old. I published a 20-word personal growth memoir. I took care of the elderly in the welfare home twice a month.Jiang Zi's experience is very low-key, don't be obsessed with brother, brother is just a legend.In fact, I am not a magic horse. My goal in life is to surpass Sister Feng. No one can match it in the first 300 years and the next 300 years.In the future, I will mainly study economics and humanities and social science books such as "Friends" and "Story Club".That's when I felt the world needed me.

When I entered high school, I knew I was wrong. It turned out that I was not Ultraman, but a gourd baby in the mountains.Every spare time, we read books in the classroom without head and disorder, and do all kinds of strange problems. From the window, we can see the teachers on the playground engaged in sports and cultural activities, enrich the school culture, and improve the enthusiasm of teachers so as to improve the quality of teaching. I am envious. hatred!What the hell!Apple god horse ah?The world abandoned us because the world needed you.Oops.

Comments: Gourd baby, gourd baby, seven gourds and one flower!

Writing can't be mediocre
One cannot be mediocre, for mediocrity means no creation, no development, and no improvement; one cannot be mediocre in life, so one must be principled, appreciative, and stick to it.In the same way, writing should not be mediocre, mediocre is vulgar, inferior, and artificial.Therefore, I must write this composition in an unprecedented and shocking way——

What to write?Just write it like this.OK, that's it.No, this way of writing won’t work, this way of writing is still mediocre, you have to change to another way of writing.What should I write instead?By the way, you can write like this.OK, write it like this.Bah, bah, bah, it's not good to write like this, it's too clichéd, and I'm sure I can't get a high score.Let's write it another way.Well, put it another way.Let me think about it, what other way of writing it.Uh, by the way, I can write nothing, just write this topic, and then hand in a blank paper.This is my idea.It looked like I had handed in a blank paper, but in fact I was not. What I handed in was a composition, a composition that no one had written before.Hey, okay, let's do this.

……

Sister, you sit on the bow, brother, I will walk on the shore, loving and loving, swinging the rope.Sister, you sit on the bow, brother, I will walk on the shore, loving and loving, swinging the rope.Hehe, haha, hehe.Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.

Comments: At a young age, alas...

My time
My idol is myself, and my time is from birth to death.

Comments: Words of wisdom.

back to the start
When I was 5 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I have reported you to the Children's Palace.

When I was 6 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I enrolled you in an English class.

When I was 7 years old, my mother said to me: My child, I enrolled you in the Mathematical Olympiad class.

When I was 10 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I enrolled you in a science and technology summer camp.

When I was 15 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I enrolled you in a key middle school.

When I was 16, my mother said to me: Son, I enrolled you in a tutoring class.

When I was 17 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I have enrolled you in a school for getting rid of Internet addiction.

When I was 18, my mother said to me: Son, I enrolled you in a surprise class for the college entrance examination.

When I was 23 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I applied for you as a civil servant.

When I was 25 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I applied for unemployment counseling for you.

When I was 28 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I applied for the qualification of affordable housing for you.

When I was 29 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I signed up for a lottery for your license plate.

When I was 32 years old, my mother said to me: Son, I signed up for "If You Are the One" for you.

At the age of 36, I said to my son: Son, I have reported you to the Children's Palace.

Comments: Life is nothing but this.

(End of this chapter)