Northeast Night Talk

Chapter 166 No.90 Nine Funerals

"Dear guests! Today is the day when the prince passed away. Here, we come here with great sadness. We express our deep condolences to the passing of the prince! And express our sincerest condolences to every relative and friend who came to mourn respect!
People have joys and sorrows, and the moon has cloudy and sunny waxing and waning.In the world, there is inevitably life, death, sharing, and union.Although the prince is far away from us, his voice and smile will always remain in the hearts of us and his children and grandchildren.

The life of a prince is a glorious life!It's a life of diligence and thrift!He dedicated his whole life to the land that raised him.And set up an immortal monument in this hot land!Life is as gorgeous as spring flowers, and death is as quiet and beautiful as autumn leaves!This is also the glorious portrayal of the prince's life!

Here, I also hope that the filial sons and grandchildren will express their condolences by the way.Turn sadness and pain into motivation to inherit the unfinished will of the prince and make the mansion flourish!I also believe that the prince's spirit in heaven will also bless all relatives and friends, and live a safe life!All generations of wealth!

Let us wish our princes all the best and a safe journey on the road to heaven!
...

This is the 99th memorial service I hosted. The dead old man has been standing by my side to read my manuscript. This old man is called Wang Laohao. He applauded vigorously behind me. The more I saw this fellow, the more he looked like Zhao Benshan. He hurriedly played the sad music, and then suppressed my smile.

People have joys and sorrows, and the moon waxes and wanes. It’s true. Those unworthy descendants who didn’t cry out just now finally came to cry with the rhythm of sorrow and joy, but tears rolled in their eye sockets, but they didn’t cry. drip out.Uncle, crying is also an art. There are also special mourners in the funeral parlor. They cry so loudly that they look more painful than their dead parents.

I don't know what's the point of putting on airs like that, others can't hear it, but I've been familiar with it here for a long time, and I know which cries are real and which cries are fake.

True or false, false or true, these funerals I presided over can basically allow the deceased to leave smoothly, those who are willing to go will go naturally, those who are not willing to go are persuaded to go, those who are not persuaded to go will be blown away, and those who are not persuaded to go will be blown away. I walked away, so my 99 funerals were very successful, and no ghosts came back to make trouble.

There are also those who are very nostalgic for their families, such as the old man behind me.

"Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!"

"I said uncle, you have been crying by my side for three days and two nights, can we take a break!" I was speechless to the extreme, I understand their feelings, but I can't stop crying.

"Then why do you think I died so badly?" He said, wiping his tears with the back of his hand, sir, if you really had tears, you would be called a hell.

I sighed and said, "Grandpa, didn't I tell you? You are dying of old age, sickness, and death. Your old man is over 80. It stands to reason that it is a happy funeral. Why do you think you are crying!"

I'm not lying to him, Mr. Wang is 85 years old, I don't know about other places, anyway, he is considered an old age in our area, even if it is a happy funeral, what is there to be dissatisfied with?Didn't you see your son and daughter standing by with numb faces, why are you crying, that little grandson is even running around wearing white silk, having a great time.

Wang Laohao wiped his face again, sighed and said, "I just can't bear to part with my two acres of land! I plan to plant some beans in the spring of next year... Yes, there are still two pigs in the pigsty, and they haven't grown up yet. Don't kill me!"

I've been listening to these words for two full days. It's not like I haven't seen ghosts who can't let go of my uncle. After seeing Jin Yuanbaozi, I ran west happily and never came back.

"I said uncle, if you have nothing to do, go play chess and chat with others. The group of old men outside is so lively, why are you always following me!"

The old man's body had just been cremated, and I took some time to eat something, and the fuck was still following me.

Wang Laohao's face showed a hint of worry: "I just want to ask if my body can not be cremated. My father, my grandfather, and my grandfather's father were all buried directly. I also want to leave a whole body... "

I said earnestly: "Uncle Wang! You can't do without cremation. This is a national policy. We have to support it. It is also a merit for you. Maybe Yan Wangye will find you a good family in the next life if he is happy!"

When the old man heard that there was merit in it, he was immediately happy, hesitated for a long time, and finally agreed.

Seeing him happily leaving, I felt a little guilty. Cremation has nothing to do with merit. In order to deal with these stubborn old people, I had to find such a reason to convince them. It is obviously unrealistic to change this old thinking for a while.

Today is already the 99th funeral. He Yinyang and I took care of all these funerals. If the [-]th funeral goes through safely, then this year’s bonus will be indispensable. Thinking of this, I secretly steal cheer up.

After the meal, Wang Laohao's cremation was also completed. Looking at his own bones, the old man squeezed tears, but he didn't squeeze them out.

In the past, there was a lot of emphasis on funerals, and the relatives of the deceased wore sackcloth and filial piety, and wandered on the avenue carrying boards and paper kraft horses. Now that there is a policy, it will not work.

There is an open space behind the funeral parlor, just for this ceremony, if you walk around the open space twice symbolically, the ceremony will be over.

I first read the eulogy of Wang Laohao, hey, it was a shocking cry, and those who didn’t know it thought it was the eulogy of the Prime Minister of the country, no way!The dead love to hear this, so tell him something nice to get him on his way.

After reading the eulogy, like a guerrilla leader, I led a group of relatives around the open space, three times to the left and three times to the right. Every time I went around, I had to stuff ingots into the paper sedan chair, even though I knew it was all nonsense. , But there is no way, the rural people believe in this thing, if you don't put on a show and toss about it, they won't be happy.

Finally, I let everyone's calves go for a walk, and led the team straight to the west end. In the burning area, they burned all the carriages, horses, sedan chairs, gold, silver and copper, and boys and girls.

The relatives shook off their mourning clothes and shouted:

"Okay! How popular is the Southwest Road!"

"Dad! Take the Southwest Road to hide from the fire!"

"Master! Take the Southwest Road to hide from the fire!"

"Walk to hide from the fire on the Southwest Road", what does this sentence mean? It is equivalent to telling him, 'walk slowly and pay attention to safety on the road'.There are different sayings for sending ghosts in different places. In the Northeast, it means "hide from fire", in the south, it means "hide from hail", and in Malaysia, it is said to hide from planes...

Boys and girls jumped out of the fire and led the tall horse. Wang Laohao sighed and got on the horse and went straight to the west. There is a ghost road in the west. After crossing the three-pointed line, there will be ghosts leading people away. , the rest should not be my business.

No.90 Nine funerals, this is the end.

As soon as I turned around, I saw a torn quilt on the edge of the school grounds. I couldn't help but patted my forehead. Looking at my memory, this was the quilt that the deceased had covered during his lifetime. It stands to reason that it should have been burned just now, and everyone is gone now. , but it cannot be burned, so it has to wait a hundred days before burning.

There is a saying about burning this quilt. You can’t burn it by your own family members. You have to find someone without children to burn it away. Although I don't really believe in these things, I have always followed the rules, but I forgot this time.

Hey!Everyone is gone, what can I do!I didn't take it to heart either, the task was completed today, and I went to the restaurant with He Yinyang tonight.

...

"Brother Dong, guess how much you made this time?" After drinking some wine, Ya's face turned red.

I couldn't help but widen my eyes, "How much?"

"two thousand!"

"When did the old magic stick become so generous!" I took a sip of my wine and said, "Isn't it all one thousand and five before?"

He Yinyang smiled and said: "Now the price is soaring, and the funeral home has also started to increase the price, so our stratification has also grown, and my grandpa also said that if we take another job, then we will have a hundred games. Give us a dividend of [-]!"

Happiness blooms like a flower!Is there anything more satisfying for me now than making money?

Hehe, five disadvantages and three deficiencies, sir, Brother Dong has some funds in his hands now, and it seems that he is not short of money, so what is the fault of the buddy?

If there is only one unsatisfactory place, it is the lack of a woman by my side. Let me count my brother's three relationships.My first love, I was dumped, and then the two relationships merged into one miraculously, and they all fell apart in the end. Could it be that I, Han Dong, was really lonely?
He Yinyang often dragged me to the night scene, and I tried to find the excitement in it, but no matter what, I couldn't find the feeling when I went to face the little demon as a child.

light?sway?A group of people who steal fish, plus a group of butchers.At the beginning, my buddies were embarrassed, but later they simply refused to refuse anyone, and they joined hands together.

Am I mature?Or fallen?If youth is just for venting, what else do I get apart from the tactile pleasure?
Just like a person drinking water, he knows whether he is warm or not, and he is just playing around.

Wine, what a good thing.There are a bunch of beer bottles in the studio, and He Yinyang and I are used to getting drunk on the bottles.

...

Early the next morning, someone came to the door, and He Yinyang and I got up from the sofa sleepily.

"Mr. Han! You can be regarded as seeing you, so hurry up and go home with me to have a look!"

I opened my eyes wide to look at the person, and couldn't help being startled, isn't this Wang Laohao's grandson Wang Erlian?
"What a fool! Why are you in such a hurry!" I couldn't help wondering.

Er Lengzi's face was ugly, and he said in a low voice: "Our house was haunted last night! Little Six said that he saw Grandpa came back, so he wandered around the pot outside. When he was sleeping at night, there was always movement in the house. Shaking, everyone was so scared that they couldn't sleep this night, no, I'll come to you as soon as dawn, so hurry up and go and see with me!"

(End of this chapter)