Sitting black and white time

Chapter 6 Bai: Simple but happy, you can have it with open hands (2)
The boys are like an angry little beast that fell into a trap, surrounded by other people... Although they are only elementary school students, everyone's sense of justice is still very strong, especially, the jumping rope that is loved by everyone's favorite girl is missing Yes, everyone wants to find it sooner. As expected, this world has always been a world of faces...

"I didn't take it..." The deep voice sounded like the roar of a little wild animal, and came from the encirclement. Not long after, the other children moved their hands and pushed him aside.He was hit on the forehead, bleeding profusely...

Feeling that the situation was wrong, I quietly ran to the office and called the teacher.The teacher rushed over, called the group of boys around to the office, and asked me to take him to the infirmary.

I kept my head down and walked ahead.

"Do you also think that I am the one who stole things!"

Although my tablemate is usually not very talkative, his clothes are sometimes dirty, and there are rumors that his mother has run away, and he is an unwanted child who was left behind.However, I did see that he put the bird that fell from the tree back into the bird's nest. I don't think a kind person would do such a thing as stealing, but I couldn't express it bluntly at the time. Without my trust in him, I can only lower my head and lead him to the infirmary...

Before the truth came out, his mother came back and took him to another school.

When we met again, it had been so long, and the habit of kindness was still there, just like the scar on his forehead, talking about those scars when he was young.

"When I was young, I felt that I was quite pitiful. I was abandoned by my family, became a child who was disliked by everyone, and was not believed. In fact, I once thought, why not just do what you want. Those things that are misunderstood by everyone, I Let’s do it all once! But after thinking about it, my mother told me before she left, to be a kind person, no matter what happens, right and wrong must be clearly distinguished. Thinking about it, I rekindled I hope I can't go down like this... Fortunately, the truth will come out one day! Every time I see children begging on the road, I always think that their situation is much worse than mine back then."

Unknowingly, it became two people walking together. Listening to him talk about his childhood was like listening to other people's stories. It felt unreal.Although I didn't want to participate in the gossip or malicious slander back then, being an indifferent bystander is still a sin.

"However, I was actually a little sad that you didn't stand up and speak for me at that time. I thought you were different from them. After all, you once gave me snacks and made me think that we were already friends..." The laughter floating in the autumn wind, although trying to be optimistic, can't resist the bleakness in the general environment, and it sounds a little sad.

"I don't know if I treat those children like this now, will it make them feel that, in fact, they are not living alone in this world..."

I have been chewing those words he said.Because I have never experienced his life, I can't empathize with him, and I can't predict whether he will be able to speak frankly in front of me the sad things in his life after that, big or small, when we meet again by chance next time , who doesn't want their life to be good?

A gust of wind blew by, and a few more withered and yellow leaves fell from the tree. I tightened my clothes and continued walking towards the school.

He turned around and waved goodbye to me, and turned into the small house in the alley.

"I hope you have a happy life." I waved lightly towards the back of the locked door...

paper cutting good times

Text / not summer
When I came home from get off work, I was rushing to meet up with my friends, and in a hurry, I stumbled and trampled the glasses that fell to the ground. The wobbly frame and the broken lenses all indicated the end of its life.Worried that my friend would wait too long, I had to silently put the glasses in the box and walk outside the company.

I can't remember exactly when I started to be accompanied by glasses.By the time I have an impression, my world will turn into a vast expanse of whiteness as long as I drink hot tea. When I look in the mirror, there are always two red marks on the bridge of my nose. Objects, the pain always comes from the bridge of the nose...

Glasses allow a semi-blind person like me to see the world more clearly.On the other hand, in the intuitive communication with human eyes, because there is a layer of lens separated, it seems to have an extra layer of protective film, and there is no need to face each other so directly, which always makes people feel a little more at ease. .

Standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus, I couldn’t see the faces of the people around me clearly without wearing glasses. I just felt that there were many people standing around me. As for what they looked like, whether they were familiar people, they were all blurred in this The world is equated with creatures with noses, mouths, and eyes.Following a large wave of people rushing to get off work, I squeezed to the bus door, saw clearly that it was not the bus I wanted to take, and then stood in the waiting line resentfully, continued to wait for the next wave of people, and continued to repeatedly squeeze towards the bus The simple movement of the car door...

I didn't see your face clearly standing a few meters away, maybe you are like me, standing at the same station, watching the buses coming and people leaving.

I was thinking if that person was you, what kind of posture would you wait for?Restlessly turning the long-handled umbrella on the ground?Or look up and count how many leaves fall from the camphor tree that is changing new leaves, or guess whether the tenth person passing by you is a boy or a girl...

After so many speculations, I still couldn't say "Hi" to the vaguely familiar figure not far in front.

Glasses give me an inexplicable sense of security in my world because I don’t need to be in direct contact with others, and it also makes me less courageous to communicate directly with others.I vaguely feel like you, but I am always worried that if I recognize the wrong person, I will greet you with an idiotic smile, but in the end, I will meet a face that I don't know at all.

When I was hesitating whether to go over to say hello to you, even if I misidentified the person, I only saw that vague figure walking on the bus parked in front of me.Only when the distance is locked within one meter can I see clearly——ah, it’s really you.

The fear of identifying the wrong person is completely replaced by the guilt that it is actually someone I know.

Putting on glasses is a coward, taking off the glasses is a blind and coward who can't see the world clearly, no matter what, he can't take a big step towards this world... It's a bit cruel that life should fail like this.

Following the next wave of huge crowds, they squeezed to the front of the bus and saw the familiar numbers, and followed them in an orderly manner like goods on a factory assembly line.I saw you posting on Weibo that you saw me waiting for the bus at the bus station, without glasses, I was like a dazed blind man squeezed into a crowd...

"I can't see clearly without glasses!" Will this tone cover up a little bit of recognition...

"Next time I see you, I will run over!" You replied like this.

I have always been unable to learn to take the initiative. I always feel that it is good to be smooth and steady, and it is good to let nature take its course.However, if you don't take the initiative to say a lot of things, others will never guess what you want... You see, you don't even have the courage to say hello, what a terrible adult.

Although the glasses are still broken, and the vision is still blurred, next time I may not say hello because I am afraid of recognizing the wrong person because it exceeds my face recognition distance, but I seem to see it, as if I want to get rid of the bustling crowd. The scene of running.

Hey, fix the glasses later, and next time, even if it's a blurry shadow, say hello to that blurry shadow!

if you give me courage
Text / not summer
There will be girls who will quietly leave a message to me and say, why are all the girls in your stories!We want to see stories about boys.On the one hand, it can only be said that as a newly promoted male god, I used to be very attractive to girls.On the one hand, I can only say, you impure friends!
The protagonist of today's story, as you all know, is a boy.

I don't know how many boys still like to watch Guo Jingming, and so do girls.In the era when we were studying, Guo Jingming was like a sign of the times, just like Jay Chou, opened our new door to novels.I am extremely envious of those chestnut-haired teenagers with small studs on their ears, who always listen to songs that do not match their calm appearance with headphones plugged in. They are always envious of the city of Shanghai, even falling in the attic All the dust seems to have a little gentle breath.

A is like this, similar to a person who came out of a novel.Compared with ordinary boys, his skin is too clean, his voice is waxy when he speaks, and he looks very cute. There is a little difference from everyone else, probably because of the long sideburns and the earrings hidden under the sideburns .

When I first discovered it, it was when I was in physical education class.Because of the strenuous long-distance running, everyone bent down and rested with their hands on their knees. Under the sun, it always felt like something was shining.Facing my gaze, A showed her ears generously. On the small earlobes, the silver studs reflected the sunlight, twinkling.

"Does it hurt?"

A shook his head, turned his eyes away, and looked at the sun with squinted eyes, exuding a lazy aura like a cat basking in the sun in the afternoon: "It doesn't hurt." He said thoughtfully It makes people wonder whether this line of painlessness is just a line uttered for the sake of being handsome.

I became acquainted with A only because of the novel in the drawer.

At that time, Han Han and Guo Jingming were still very popular. In our small world, they were like benchmark teenagers.Adolescence is an unforgettable and embarrassing stage. Those annoyances and anxieties that cannot be said aloud are all in other people's words and stories, and become a force that can guide one's progress. Every issue of "Sprout" is written Full of yearning for "literary youth"...

"I like this too."

Taking away the magazines on the table, A sat on the table with his hands up and began to read a book.The appearance of looking down at a book is indeed very quiet, the kind that can attract girls very much.

When I was young, I had a bad stomach, and I absolutely could not drink the coffee that young artists like, whether it is cheap Nestle, or Starbucks that Guo Jingming mentioned countless times in his novels.All coffee to me is just a quick stomach ache item, to A, coffee has become a necessity in his life.

From Nestle's classic red mug to the Starbucks limited edition cup brought back from Shanghai by his family, he can smell the faint smell of coffee when he walks by.He also joked that he could try to open a coffee shop in the future, but he was blocked by the sentence "Maybe I drink coffee every day to kill myself..." I don't know what to say.

A After that, I didn't write very much.In the Chinese class back then, as long as he wrote a composition, his essay must be a model essay, and every time this moment came, he would become manic and restless: "That old lady, who obviously can't understand what I wrote, how does she feel? My writing is pretty good... I still have to read it so loudly in substandard Mandarin, I am ashamed to death." Burying her face deeply in the book, using today's words, it can be regarded as arrogant.

Boys generally seldom cry, and I myself, except for being beaten by my parents when I was a child, I hardly cry.But during the three years with classmate A, I also saw him cry.

It was the time of the school sports meeting. He had just finished running 2000 meters and came to pick up the mobile phone that was stored with me. A is different from us, and it seems to be closely related to the world in that novel. When the school stipulates that mobile phones are not allowed, other people really did not bring them, but A secretly brought a newest mobile phone.When we didn't know what QQ was, his level was already high, and when we were still envious of those who couldn't reach him, he had already started to construct his own world on the literature website with his own words...

A took the phone that day, read the text message, and suddenly burst into tears.In other words, it’s not crying, it’s just sluggish tears, no choking, no other expressions, movements, or voices, only tears gushing out of the eyes like spring water…

That was the first time I heard the story of his friend, the story of the boy who played the guitar, leukemia and death... From the protagonist to the storyline, it was like a plot in a novel, not at all like an ordinary person like me. experienced life.

And the expression of A sitting on the grass and looking at the sky has since lived in my memory. A smiling, A crying, A struggling to write, and A hiding in the book because of shyness, are finally frozen into A lonely A...

A long time ago, I always felt that he was more suitable for the literary and artistic circle than I was. At least, I couldn’t write sentences with his own style, and I couldn’t figure out the style of Shanghai and the youth school so accurately. But I ended up in the literary circle by accident.And A, according to the latest news, he is doing marketing in an advertising company.

But I always recall that scene, the summer sky was pulled far away, occasionally a few white clouds floated, the scorching sun was so hot that people couldn’t open their eyes, the physical education teacher also let everyone move freely, and A occupied it early in the morning I got up the stone bench under the shade of the tree, raised the novel in my hand, and motioned for me to sit over...

"A magician is a person who has many secrets, but people who have many secrets don't live happily..." The waxy voice with a southern accent came to my ears, instantly bringing a unique temperature to these words...

Then you, are you still happy?
Suddenly ten years passed like the wind
Text / not summer
When I was seventeen, I realized for the first time that there is a kind of work in the world that uses paper and pen to record my emotions, and then pass them on to others in some form, and then pass them on to more others...

I secretly made a wish in my heart, when I can write the story I want to write with my own hands, and then someone passing by accidentally sees it, and she buys the story I wrote, in exchange for her understanding Laughing, or crying, or my story gave them a little bit of weak strength in the trough of their lives, making them believe in, or look forward to, the small and beautiful things in this world.

When I was 20 years old, I went to a book signing event for a female author I liked very much.When I read her works, I was still a high school student, thinking about how to avoid growing up.

In her novel, the protagonist, just like me, just wants to be an irresponsible person... living alone, watching the good weather and good times alone.

At that time she released a new novel about a cowardly man in pursuit of love.

There is no faint youthful flavor in the previous works, and the life of ordinary people is described peacefully. The critics say that she is getting worse and worse... and the ratings of the works are getting lower and lower.

That day I was sitting in the third row of the autograph signing, and I saw her face very clearly. Under the shoulder-length hair, there was a red sweater, which made her face with light makeup look very good... because of the language barrier Because of this, she was smiling lightly throughout the whole process, turning her ears to the translator to listen to readers’ questions from time to time, and she would also smile and stretch her hand to cover her mouth, or stick out her tongue mischievously...

What is the meaning of writing? There may be many. To alert the society, to tell people the meaning of life, or just like Mr. Akiko Sishan, I don’t like to read these published books. I had no choice but to write it myself...Of course, there are also people like me who just write something simply because they want to write something.

During the questioning session, everyone was very lively, and asked her with a smile if she had any new feature-length plans, why she wanted to write a passive male character in love...how to get through the confusion of adolescence...

(End of this chapter)