Li Yinhe talks about sex

Chapter 53 Orgasm and "Orgasmic Compulsion"

We should oppose "orgasm phobia" and avoid "orgasm obsessive-compulsive disorder", so that the majority of Chinese women can enjoy a healthy and beautiful sex life.

According to a recent survey, 26% of Chinese women don't know what an orgasm is, and nearly 80% don't know where the clitoris is.This is really eye-popping.Statistics show that only 10% of Western women have never experienced an orgasm.It's incredible that geographical and cultural differences can make such a huge difference.

Humans are sexually unique in two ways compared to other animals: one is that humans can have sexual intercourse at any time of the year; the other is that human females can have orgasms, while other species of female animals do not have orgasms, or rarely.Thus, the female orgasm in the human species is almost a unique phenomenon among primates.There is an evolutionary sociobiological analysis of this: the development of the human female orgasm is due to the fact that human infants are born exceptionally dependent and need parental care.Female orgasm and a woman's constant interest in sex at any stage of the menstrual cycle have developed to maintain a permanent mate.

Human understanding of female orgasm has gone through a process of negation of negation.In the early years, Freud made a well-known point of view, which is to divide women's sexual pleasure into clitoral pleasure and vaginal pleasure.The former is a sign of immaturity; the latter is a sign of a woman's sexual maturity.Some of Freud's successors have further developed this theory: a major lesson for women from prepuberty to adolescence is to learn to switch from clitoral orgasm to vaginal orgasm, which symbolizes the transition from activity to passivity. change.Clitoral orgasm symbolizes initiative, which is the masculine component that a truly feminine woman should throw away.

The first denial of this theory was done when Masters and Johnson discovered that the orgasm obtained by masturbation and sexual intercourse was the same physiological response process. At that time, almost no one believed in the Freudian The distinction between the two orgasms is wide.

However, since Perry and Whipple put forward the "G-spot" theory in 1981, human beings' understanding of female orgasm has completed a negation of negation.Continuing the work of Ernest Grafenberg, the duo came to the following conclusion: There exists a sexually hypersensitive area on the anterior wall of the vagina, which they call Grafenberg's area or G-spot, which resembles The penis is made up of the same erectile tissue as the clitoris, and during orgasm, it can ejaculate secretions with the same chemical composition as male orgasm ejaculation. The discovery of the G-spot reaffirmed the distinction between clitoral and vaginal orgasms.However, there is an important difference between their theory and Freud's theory, that is, they do not think which of the two orgasms is superior and more mature, but instead think that it shows that women can obtain sexual pleasure in multiple ways.It is worth noting that some scholars have suggested that less than 10% of women have a sensitive area on the front wall of the vagina, that is, the G-spot.

In the West, female sexual pleasure has been viewed for centuries as an immoral, depraved, evil, or abnormal experience.When the sexual concept of the medieval church dominated Europe, it emphasized that the shorter the ejaculation time of men, the better, so as to prevent women from achieving orgasm.In order to break this concept, Western scholars often cite the views on female orgasm in ancient Chinese culture as a comparison.Relevant Chinese ancient books maintain that for men, the ideal situation is to prolong the time of sexual intercourse as much as possible. The amount of yin essence absorbed by a man in the process of sexual intercourse depends on the length of sexual intercourse; Orgasm, so that it can exert its maximum sexual ability.In the eyes of Westerners, Chinese people have a unique concept that a woman's orgasm is equally important to herself and the man.Although the sexual culture in ancient China has changed in modern times, the cultural heritage of this culture is still deeply hidden in the psychology of society.

It was not until the publication of the Kinsey survey and the completion of scientific research on sexual pleasure by Masters and Johnson that they used advanced methods to completely change the negative attitude of Westerners towards female orgasm, and people finally accepted sexual pleasure A view of natural, important human physiology.Even so, according to the Kinsey survey, about 10% of women have never had an orgasm; in the first year of marriage, about 75% of wives have achieved it at least once; after about 20 years of marriage, the orgasm has accumulated The incidence rate reaches 90%.

Unfortunately, after a long period of "orgasm phobia", people have gone to the other extreme. The point of view of "sexual pleasure is legitimate" has reached these people, and it has become that all sexual intercourse must make oneself and the sexual relationship. The other party gets pleasure.Men think that every time they have sex with a woman, they have to make her orgasm; women think that if they can't have an orgasm every time, there must be something wrong with her.For this reason, Connolly, a sexology expert, put forward the concept of "orgasm obsessive-compulsive disorder". He believes that people's pursuit of orgasm is similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is a manifestation of alienation.People are always anxiously emphasizing getting orgasms, emphasizing satisfying each other.Men often ask a woman seriously whether she has "reached an orgasm", whether she has had a "big pleasure", or uses some euphemistic words to ask whether the woman is satisfied.And Beauvoir and others have pointed out that at such times, such remarks are the last questions women want to be asked.

Compared with Western women who have transcended the enjoyment of sexual pleasure and are troubled by "orgasmic obsessive-compulsive disorder", women in our society are as simple as people living in primitive tribes.Without knowing the pleasure, many Chinese women endure the joyless sex like that, serve men, and give birth to hundreds of millions of children. It is really hard for them.

If we use Foucault's "gaze" imagery to analyze, Western women feel the pressure of social gaze more in terms of obtaining pleasure, while the "gaze" of Chinese society has not yet turned to this aspect—this is by no means the "gaze" of Chinese society The scope is narrower or the degree is worse, it just means that its gaze focuses on other aspects, such as non-marital sexual relations, various "perverted" sexual activities and so on.Freud also noted that there are indeed cultural differences in attitudes towards orgasm: In some societies, women's sex lives are simpler than in Western societies.As long as her lover or husband is willing to have sex with her, she is content; she never worries about whether she is frigid or whether she will have an orgasm, and she probably never knows what an orgasm is.Why in Western society, a man must make a woman experience the so-called "orgasmic experience" before she can believe that she is a man; a woman not only has to make the man experience an orgasm to prove that he is a man, but she also needs to have this experience herself to be a man. Prove that you are a woman, or worry that you are suffering from frigidity.

It is worth noting that in recent years, with the opening of the country and the influx of Western culture, more and more Chinese people have come into contact with Western culture's views on sexual pleasure.I think it will have some influence on Chinese women's thinking about sexual pleasure.We should oppose "orgasm phobia" and avoid "orgasm obsessive-compulsive disorder", so that the majority of Chinese women can enjoy a healthy and beautiful sex life.

(End of this chapter)