Li Yinhe talks about sex

Chapter 62 What Love Is Like

Love is a feeling that two people agree with each other and are connected with each other, and it is an impulse that two people become one.

What exactly is love?This question has been asked for thousands of years and remains unanswered.

Thousands of years ago, the ancient philosopher Socrates asked this question: What is love?And answer with the words of Diotima, the teacher of love: "It is neither immortal nor mortal, but in between... It is a great spirit, and just like Like all elves, it is an intermediary between gods and mortals."

Thousands of years later, the contemporary philosopher Roland Barthes still said in "Lover's Whispers": "I really want to understand what love is all about."

According to my understanding of love, it is a feeling that two people agree with each other and are connected with each other, and it is an impulse of two people to become one.It is a sudden burst of passion.Love is useless when passion has subsided: love is either the embodiment of passion or it is nothing.When passionate love occurs, the loveliness of the loved one is greatly exaggerated, so that the same object is so different in the eyes of two people who are in love and those who are not.Because of this, Proust will repeatedly express such a view: All those who fall in love do not love the real object, but the imaginary object in their own minds, which is their own feeling itself.

Maybe the research finally shows that the feeling of "love" is just an illusion; but there are people who have experienced such a psychological process called "love", and the boundary between love and non-love is like black and white in their minds. as distinct.In any case, "love" is a very wonderful feeling, in my opinion, no matter what kind of people it happens between (whether it is the same sex or opposite sex, old or young, married or not, two or more people) It is beautiful, and it is a rare human experience that is worthy of cherishment and respect. Although the parties sometimes have to sacrifice love for other values, just like the heroine in "The Bridge of Madison County" sacrifices love for family values That, but love itself is not sinful. If a love happens, it happens, and not only is it not to be blamed for any reason, but it is certainly beautiful from an aesthetic point of view.

The occurrence of love may be related to the quality of life.According to social historians, in pre-modern Europe, most marriages were contractual, based on economic conditions rather than mutual sexual attraction.In the marriages of the poor, a means of organizing the agricultural labor force.A life characterized by unceasing toil cannot excite the passion of love.It is said that among the peasants in Germany and France in the 17th century, there were almost no kisses, intimate caresses, and other forms of physical love related to sex between married couples. Only among the aristocratic groups did sexual indulgence exist. of" women are publicly recognized.Romantic love did not take shape until after the eighteenth century.

The occurrence of love may also be related to people's lifestyle.In ancient times, women were hidden in boudoirs and were not easy to get, so they often inspired romantic love; but in modern times, women are no longer unapproachable, and there is no need for a long period of pursuit. They fell in love at first sight and turned to living together.Some extreme practitioners actually said this: "Within three days, we have become old married couples." In the open space of postmodernity, the excessive profligacy of many men and women in terms of sex has caused the poverty of love. Have true love. "This is an era of extreme hunger for love, because of lack, so hunger."

There are mixed opinions about passionate love.Those who admire it regard it as the happiest and most cherished human experience; but there are many opposing opinions, from different angles.The famous anthropologist Malinowski said: Love is a passion, which is the same for Malaysians and Europeans; it will more or less destroy the body and mind; it causes many difficulties. It has caused many scandals and even many tragedies; it has seldom illuminated lives, opened hearts, and filled them with joy.Giddens said: No matter where, passionate love has never been regarded as a sufficient and necessary basis for marriage; on the contrary, in most cultures, it has been regarded as an irreparable damage to marriage.

From the perspective of the relationship between love and marriage, the evolution of love has gone through two stages: in ancient times, it had nothing to do with marriage, and only existed between prodigal lovers; , Marrying someone with love has become an ideal, but in fact, in marriage, passion eventually turns into tenderness and affection.Moreover, in many marriages there is no passion at all, only tenderness, and sometimes no tenderness at all.Such marriages are no different from ancient marriages.The ancients strictly distinguished between love and family affection, but today people gradually combine the two into one.Therefore, today's love has undergone major changes: in ancient times, love was passion, and marriage was the tomb of love, an obstacle to love, and something incompatible with love; in modern times, after the initial burst of love, it gradually turned into family affection , Passion gradually turns into tenderness, love and marriage have achieved a certain degree of combination, and they are no longer incompatible poles.

(End of this chapter)